8/9/2019 AAMC 7 Essay 1
1/5
Consider this statement: Businesses succeed by taking advantage
of consumers weaknesses. Write a unified essay in which you perform
the following tasks. Explain what you think the abovestatement
means. Describe a specific situation in which businesses succeed
without taking advantageof the consumers weaknesses. Discuss what
you think determines whether or not businesses take
advantage of consumers weaknesses in order to succeed.Sample
Essay #1Todays society is marked by the endeavors free market
participants. Driven by profitand the allure of the American Dream,
many businesses seem obsessed with successeven at the expense of
fairness to the consumers. Many employ advertising tactics
thatappeal to deficiency in ones character that cause a sense of
need for the product.Need is then, the power behind the purchase.
Consider the countless improvements,recreations and innovations
that spring up every year as cosmetics. The trick to sellingis to
then to get the consumer to believe that he/she needs the
cosmetics. This isachieved through promoting an ideal of beauty
that leads the weak mind to theconclusion that it is necessary to
achieve this standard. Some business, however, have the interest of
the consumer at heart, not wishing toexploit them. SCORE = 1
Explanation of score:This essay never gets beyond its
introductory paragraph, so despite some hint of ideas and a brief
example, there is simply too little here to justify a score higher
than a 1. The cosmetics example haspotential, but the essay does
not attend to the rhetorical assignment by providing a Task
2counterargument and discussing the basic tensions raised by the
writing prompt. The essay alsoexhibits some carelessness with
phrasing and sentence structure that hampers a clear
communicationof meaning throughout the brief response. Sample Essay
#2
Successful businesses effectively identify the vulnerabilities
of their consumers andprovide goods and services to remedy these
weaknesses. In todays American society,such business tactics are
exemplified in the success and popularity of fast-food.
Bothfast-food restaurant chains and grocery-brand pre-made frozen
meals profit byattracting consumers who desire quick, easy, and
tasty meals and who lack the time,energy, and interest to cook for
themselves. This trend implies that businesses unfairlydeceive and
take advantage of their consumers.
8/9/2019 AAMC 7 Essay 1
2/5
However, many businesses succeed by effectively identifying the
needs of consumersand providing quality and valuable services to
its consumers. For example, restaurantsneed to maintain the utmost
sanitary conditions, friendly service, quality food, andenjoyable
atmosphere in order to continue attracting customers. Also,
competition withother restaurants drives restaurants to strive to
enhance their business. Thuscompetition provides an internal check
within the restaurant business to ensurecustomers enjoy their
dining experience for reasonable prices. Comparing the fast-food
market with dine-in restaurants illustrates the differencebetween
businesss taking advantage of consumers. In the fast-food market
thesebusinesses take advantage that their consumers need quick,
relatively cheap food.Whereas in the restaurant market, consumers
frequent restaurants not because oftime constraints, but because of
their desire to enjoy an out of home dining experiencefor pleasure.
Therefore, a business may succeed without taking advantage of
its
consumers when consumers exercise regulation by their choices
within a competitivemarket and demand quality services and goods
from these businesses. SCORE = 3 Explanation of score:While this
essay addresses all three tasks, inconsistent focus and muddled
reasoning keep it squarelyat the 3 score point. The first
paragraphs example of the fast-food industry has potential, but
thewriter never manages a convincing argument as to how providing
time-strapped consumers withready-to-eat meals constitutes taking
unfair advantage of them. This inability to clearly explain
thesignificance of an example is typical of many papers at the 3
score point. It undercuts the continuity of the argument and leaves
it only somewhat developed. The writers gaps in reasoning are most
obvious in the second paragraph. The distinctions betweenfast-food
and dine-in restaurants arent readily apparent, and the
relationship between maintainingsanitary conditions and not taking
advantage of a consumer is never clearly stated. The mention of
competition within the restaurant business seems disconnected from
the rest of the paragraph (andirrelevant to the prompt), and
exemplifies this essays wandering focus.
The final paragraph does more explicitly connect the fast-food
and dine-in restaurant examples, butthe discussion is still less
than satisfying. The conclusion seems to turn on the perplexing
assertionthat the fast-food industry is not competitive. This
writer has a facility with language and commits fewerrors at the
mechanical level, but this isnt enough to overcome the fundamental
weaknesses of theargument and its execution. Sample Essay #3
It is said that businesses succeed by taking advantage of
consumers weaknesses. Thesuccess of a product generated by a
business is often a result of the marriage between
