LECTURE ON SOFT SKILLS

DR. K.G. TADASAD. BVB CET , HUBLI.

NEHRU COLLEGE , HUBLI12.08.2008

Good afternoon, ladies and gentlemen, welcome to this lecture on soft skills.

From childhood onwards, as we grow we come into contact with other people, our aim is to let them know what is our thoughts , feelings and perceptions are.

As we grow older, and take up a job, this process becomes even more important. Plans must be carried out , job assignments must be completed, group goals must be achieved.

Other people must perforce be involved in all these activities.

For all this intrapersonal behaviour, it is necessary for us to interact with people, and to share with them our thoughts, feelings and perceptions. This art of sharing with other people is called communication.

If we are to be effective interpersonally, we should

Have effective communication, Be effective in face-to-face communication, Avoid, or remove, the misunderstandings that arise in any communication situation.

So, basically, in this talk, we try to understand the following:

WHAT DO YOU MEAN BY COMMUNICATION?

WHAT IS THE ROLE OF BODY LANGAUAGE IN COMMUNICATION?

HOW SHOULD WE LISTEN TO PEOPLE –IMPORTNACE OF ACTIVE LISTENING.

HOW TO CONVEY OUR PERCEPRTIONS ABOUT ACTIONS/BEHAVIOURS- FEEDBACK.

BEFORE ANY PROGRAMME STARTS,IT IS CUSTOMARY TO LAY DOWN SOME GROUNDS RULES:

Please keep your cell phone on silent mode.

Do not hesitate to make mistakes.

Never think that your are asking a dumb question.

Always cheat.

Above all , at all times, have fun.

Let’s starts with last ground rule first. Are you all for bit of fun? (10 minutes).

COMMUNICATION THEORY

Let’s now understand the meaning of communication.

what is communication? (Responses please )

so we see that you define communication as

The sharing or exchange of information (i.e. thoughts, ideas and opinions) between two or more persons.

Is this a sufficient definition ? Anything else is required? The last sentence of this definition should be…… “ so there is common understanding between them”.

In the above definition, the most important features are :

SHARING – This is an integral part of communication. In fact, it is the foundation of communication. Some even go so far as to say that sharing itself is communication.

COMMON UNDERSTANDING – why is it important?

Because words mean different things to different cultures. Suppose I make the statement.

“Hubli is a dry city”. What do I mean?

(Responses please )

So you see , when I say ‘dry’ I may mean lack of water, or rainfall, or liquor or life itself.

I have to be very specific if you have to understand me . Such examples are galore.

EXAMPLES

The boss says to the secretary: “ This will be a very important meeting. Keep an accurate account of the minutes”. After the meeting he asks her : “ have you kept accurate minutes?”.

Her reply: “Yes sir. 53 minutes and 23 seconds.”

**** The boss tells the secretary:" Take this paper burn it”. She shreds the paper , and burns the pieces. When reports back to her boss , he says: Now give me the original back”.

So what is she going to give him? Who is at fault –the boss or the secretary? ( Responses please )

BOTH ARE AT FAULT - the boss for not being clear, and the secretary for not clarifying what he meant.

Let us also consider this aspect - do we really require 2 persons to communicate? ( responses please).

Then what about the dialogue that is always going on inside our heads at every moment ( even when I am speaking to you).

To which we actively ,though silently, respond? When we are young we respond to this dialogue silently.

As we grow older , we find that we tend to respond to it actively- hence the number of senior citizens who seem to be talking themselves.

However, here communication is between two or more persons.

How does communication start? when someone wants to say something. Let us call him sender.

This sender should have someone to listen to him. Let us call this second person the receiver.

WHEN SENDER TALKS, AND RECEIVER LISTENS, COMMUNICATION HAS TAKEN PLACE.

If we restrict ourselves to only this, then we have One way communication.

How effective is one way communication? Let’s try an experiment.

I shall be dictating a geometrical figure to you.

I shall repeat each sentence twice.

You cannot ask me any questions or clarifications; just draw the diagram as I dictate it.

( start and end dictation). (5 MINUTES)

????????? Why your diagram deviated from mine? ( Responses)

What do you think was the main problem?

Is dictating the best way to reproduce a geometrical figure?

What should I have done? Either hang it up, or project it on a screen.

I can remember the Chinese proverb : “ONE PICTURE IS WORTH A THOUSAND WORDS?”.

ONE WAY COMMUNICATION

So thus we see that one way communication does not elicit the best results.

so what else is required?

If the communication is to be meaningful, then the receiver must give a response. He must acknowledge that he has heard the message , and understood it.

Lack of response can be a really frustrating thing.

There can be good communication, and there can be effective communication .

What is the difference? In good communication, receiver understands the sender.

In effective communication, the sender achieves the intended results from receiver.

Effective communication implies good communication, where as vice verse need not to be true.

What is the ingredient that makes all the difference? It is nothing but “ clarity”.

Not only the sender but also the listener should be clear.

Let me give an example.

We shall play a game called THE SHOE - LESS ALIEN.( 10 MINUTES).

so you see, we may communicate well, but if you do not have clarity there will be lot of problems, and your communication will not be effective.

This is why you should be even more careful when talking over a phone.

Ok now we have learnt all that is to be learnt about communication.

Can we therefore, theoretically atleast call ourselves masters of communication?

Alas, not yet !

English proverb says: ‘ The path of true love never runs smooth’.

The same holds good for communication. Its path is mined with external and internal obstacles which hinders effective communication.

Noise, cross – talk, distance, mechanical failure, jargon, visual distraction are external barriers.

Feelings that exist inside both parties ,like shyness, rigid attitudes, anger, disappointment, sorrow & pre- conceived notions are internal barriers.

Another fact the speed of the mind understands, i.e. how many words per minute ? Guess!

Mind processes is 400 to 500 words per minute!!

Normal speed at which a normal English speaker speaks i.e. number of words per minute? Guess!!

Normal speed is 125 to 175 words per minute.

THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN THE SPEED OF SPEAKING AND THE SPEED OF UNDERSTANDING IS CALLED THE ‘WORD LOG’.

So you see communication is very difficult process.

With all difficulties it is wonder that we can understand each other at all.

Murphy law of communication says

1.Communication usually fails- except by chance.2.If any message can be understood in many ways, it will usually be understood in the way that can cause the most harm.

BODY LANGAUAGE

Let us move to the new area. Before that will have small exercise for 5 minutes.

This same confusion in communication.

If the words, the tone and the body language are all in step, in synchronization, then the communication is said to be CONGRUENT.

If any element is missing then the communication becomes non- congruent.

What percentage of message conveyed by words, by tone , body language? ( can you guess).

Research has been done on this aspect, only 7% by words, 38% by tone , 55% by body language. Isn’t this as eye- opener?

Wrinkle on nose – don’t like something or disgust.

Smile- 50 or so different smiles. Mouth movement – give many clues. Ears plays vital role. Although we cannot move them much.

Posture – need to master over. Gestures communicate. - hand signal etc,.

Now, we do agree 93 % of communication is non- verbal.

THE BODY NEVER LIES , AND BODY NEVER KEEPS QUIET.

When you interact socially develop your listening and observations skill.

LISTENING

Communication is not merely about talking to people. The people also have to listen.

So communication is incomplete until the listener register the message.

we need understand the difference between hearing and listening.

Listening refers to the process of hearing a person with attention being paid to his words, tone and body language.

All can be achieved only by a skill called Active listening. Means add efforts to understand the speaker’s thoughts and feelings.

Let us have an exercise called passing information for 10 minutes.

FEEDBACK

Information to the concerned persons regarding the good or bad effects is called feed back.

-Any other person is always given by any other person.

-It points out the gap existing between the intentions and the effects. -No two persons see anything from the same angle. From morning till now, what are the different sources from which you got feed back. ( Responses).

What is one thing whose feedback is essential to you at any time?

The Mirror. What would have happen if everyone stopped feedback to one another?

Why do we give feed back? Do you want to criticize the other person? If you have the ability to give and receive feedback

freely, then you will have the best personal and professional relationships.

So always be open for………….

The Japanese eat very little fat and fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans .

The French eat a lot of fat and also suffer fewer heart attacks then the British or Americans.

The Japans drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks then the British or Americans.

The Italian drink excessive amounts of red wine and also suffer fewer heart attacks then the British or Americans.

CONCLUSION : Eat and drink what you like. Speaking English is apparently what

kills you!!!!!?.

To be great leader, you first and foremost must be a great communicator

CONGRALUATIONS THANK YOU.