©2013, Gray PoehnellThe Unsung Potential of Weakness 1 THE UNSUNG POTENTIAL OF WEAKNESS Gray...

THE UNSUNG POTENTIAL OF WEAKNESS

Gray Poehnellgraypoehnell@mac.com

Cannexus 13

Ottawa, Jan. 28, 2013

WEAKNESSES

are like underwear

we all have them, but

most of us prefer not to expose them

repeated voices

of predicted failure

repeated voices

that raise questions

Who says something is a strength or a weakness?

If a strength can become a weakness, why can’t a weakness, become a

strength?

How do we know how far anyone is really capable of going?

What about the stories of “successful” people

who were told they would fail?

How do we balance realism with hope?

“You’re never going to succeed with grades like

these!”

Assumptions? Impact?

A Journey of Hope

Balance & Wholeness

deficits

problems

weaknesses

Dysfunctional-focused

counsellingpositives

capacities

successes

strengths

Strength-basedcounselling

balance

counselling

balanceneeds

deficits

problems

weaknesses

positives

capacities

successes

strengths

deficits

problems

weaknesses

positives

capacities

successes

strengths

counselling

over-correction

IGNORE FOCUS ON

danger

counselling

balance

the whole person

deficits

problems

weaknesses

positives

capacities

successes

strengths

Perspective

Weakness is a messy word

Weakness

vague, imprecise, subjective

can mean all kinds of things,depending on context

easily misused

weakness: adj: American Heritage® Dictionary

of the English Language1. Lacking physical strength, energy, or vigor; feeble.

2. Likely to fail under pressure, stress, or strain; lacking resistance: a weak link in a chain.

3. Lacking firmness of character or strength of will.

4. Lacking the proper strength or amount of ingredients: weak coffee.

5. Lacking the ability to function normally or fully: a weak heart.

6. Lacking aptitude or skill: a weak student; weak in math.

7. Lacking or resulting from a lack of intelligence.

8. Lacking persuasiveness; unconvincing: a weak argument.

9. Lacking authority or the power to govern.

10. Lacking potency or intensity: weak sunlight.

weakness: adj: American Heritage® Dictionary

of the English Language

a continuum

weakness

strength

Determining

strengths and weaknesses

is not as black-and-white

as it sounds.

a continuumperspecti

weakness

strength

relative( )What?

When? Where?

a continuum

weakness

strength

Describe a characteristic that you have that could be considered a weakness by some but, from another perspective, could be considered a strength.

strength

weakness

perspective

relative( )

a continuum

failure

success

limitations

possibilities

weakness

strength

perspective

relative( )

Weakness can be confused with dysfunctional

Relationship with other concepts?

weakness: www.urbandictionary.com

To be weak,

stupid,

cowardly,

and all the other URBAN language you got

for a loser

a continuum

weakness

strength

Danger: Weakness becomes a

labelLabels can exacerbate

things,can add insult to injury

and they can stick

perspective

relative( )

a continuum

weakness

strength

Danger: Catastrophizingan irrational thought

a lot of us have in believing that something is far worse

than it actually is.- John M. Grohol,

perspective

relative( )

a continuum

weakness

strength

Danger: Catastrophizinglooking to the future

and anticipating all the things that are going to go

wrong; then creating a realityaround those thoughts

- John M. Grohol,

perspective

relative( )

a continuum

weakness

strength

Double Danger:a catastrophizing

labelmay become

more of a factor in failure

than the weakness itself

perspective

relative( )

a continuum

weakness

strength

Double Danger:a catastrophizing label

People may give up too early, without trying

because they don’t think they can succeed

with their weaknesses

perspective

relative( )

Potential

weakness

strength

perspective

relative( )su

But what if this very perspective

is part of the problem?But what if it blinds to

the potential of weakness?

But what if weakness does not inevitably doom

people to failure?

What if this perspective is like the proverbial straw on the camel’s

weakness

strength

POTENTIAL

a continuum

failure

success

limitations

possibilities

weakness

strength

perspective

relative( )

What if these were not the same?

a continuum

failure

success

limitations

possibilities

weakness

strength

perspective

relative( )

What if there was different ways to view these?

Potential

But what if my weaknesses are just as much a part of me as my strengths?

perspective

relative( )

"Which contributes more to the area

of a rectangle, its height or its width?"

weakness

strengthsu

Potentialperspecti

relative( )

weakness

strengthsu

What if strengths and weaknesses are not automatically linked to high or low?

What if different levels only suggest different possibilities/limitationsWhat if both strength and weakness have the potential to succeed or fail?

What is a “skill?”

SKILL“strength, good at”

NOSKILL

SKILL“something you do”

HOPELESS

HOPE-FILLED

@2012, Gray Poehnell Guiding Circles 35

“How well?”

“Who needs this at this level?”

SKILL MELODYall the skills synergize to make a whole

SKILL MELODYtake away any and the melody is lost

Potentialperspecti

relative( )

What if it’s not just what we havebut what we do with what we have.

What if it’s not just what happens to us but

how we respond to what happens to us.

Potential

Other factors besides strength/weakness that might

influence success/failure.

perspective

relative( )

• motivation

• resiliency

• optimism

• chaos/uncertainty

• external circumstances

• happenstance

Potentialperspecti

relative( )st

encourage/challenge/caution

withoutcatastrophizing

with hope

Potentialperspecti

relative( )st

If we take this perspective,

what other potential

might we value in weakness

Time & Growth

Potentialperspecti

relative( )st

Not all develop at the same rate or in the same way.

Be careful how you weed out people; they may be late

bloomers.

Acceptance

Potentialperspecti

relative( )st

highFact: my life has

strengths & weaknessespossibilities &

limitations.Aware

Accept

Advance

Potentialperspecti

relative( )st

Acceptance of all of me can help

with self-esteem,

in avoiding the fear and stress

that comes from perfectionism

Humility & Empathy

Potentialperspecti

relative( )st

An honest, humble acceptance of myself

with all my strengths and weaknesses can help in

empathizing with other’s strengths and

weaknesses.

Opportunity for Creativity

Potentialperspecti

relative( )st

Acceptance of weaknesses and

limitations can be the catalyst for

creativity along previously unknown

paths.

Balance & Wholeness

PerspectiveAcceptanceHumility & Empathy

Opportunity for Creativity

©2013, Gray PoehnellThe Unsung Potential of Weakness 1 THE UNSUNG POTENTIAL OF WEAKNESS Gray...

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