Ruining your efforts?Learrn how to crawl out of

the wood work!

Cat Payen

Have you ever done the following…

Sabotaged your own efforts?Just stopped short of winning?Argued with someone who was giving you

that helping hand?Got yourself fired when promotion was staring

at you?Forced yourself to eat, just coz?Left a perfectly good relationship, just coz?

Imagine all those ‘me’-s hidden in the closet! How to get them out, stopping the self sabotage?

– This is a process that I am currently undergoing and it is not easy. It is in fact extremely hard…

– Today even, I am in front of one of these hidden ‘me’s – at about 6 years old - and this is what prompted me to write this e-book for you.

– I want to offer this so you too can live a life with just one me.

– And I have at last found a way that I can relate to for dealing with this and that is worth gold ,

What is a Free Life?

• At 48 years old I realise that I am STILL playing subconscious games with my parents!

• That the little girl has not grown up at all,• That the game is life: I may have my own

children, husband, house, car, wonderful career at my fingertips…

WHY THEN,

CAN I NOT MOVE ON…

GO FORWARDS ?

I’ll tell you why …

• Because I am still stuck in the little girl mode, and somewhere in the depths of me she is still there crying, scared and alone.

• The question is: ‘Can I cajole her out?’• And this still gets that lump in my throat, • Am I even allowed to cry about the fact

that she is stuck there in the dark with the older me totally helpless to get her out?

• Why can I not be loving and help her out?

• How did she get in there?• CHILDHOOD…- she is still that age where

she was shut in, scared in, shouted in…• However she got in, she is still there in

the deepest part of you.• And quite frankly unless you go get her

she will not come out.• BUT because she is there she will ‘haunt’

you in your subconscious…

For me…

• She is such a young girl.• You see, to be perfectly honest with

you my older sister, bless her and I love her dearly don’t get me wrong, she was in my eyes …

“The model princess that every parent

wants.”

• Add to that a younger brother that was a

pasha

That ruled my mother’s heart &

the world with his silence …

Remember…

These are all my truths and the way I saw it.

And so it came to be that the little girl got stuck here not knowing how to shine in the family and surely no mother would have time for me.– So I took it, via being the exact opposite of my sister and being my brother’s best friend…(Does this ring a bell?)

Now back to me…

• I probably have what psychologists or psychoanalysts will name possibly middle child syndrome??

• I really don’t care what it is called and have never wanted to do an analysis on myself, although thinking about it - I walked out on one after some time!

• Because it was not the way I wanted to treat the problem – but I have found a way now and that is why I want to share it with you:

• ARE YOU READY?

Now your turn

• I want you to sit for some time and recall FEEL how it was for you during your childhood years,

• What were the songs of the times?• How were your summers spent?• What pets did you have?• How did you feel at school? • Who was your best friend?• What was your relationship within

your family, with your siblings…

Dig deep…Spend time

This will be the framework for the next sessions.

• This will also bring memories, or emotions only, to you, you may have forgotten.

• You may get ‘stuck’ in a memory – that is normal and ok stay there for a while – go for a walk with it….

• Just note it all down.

STOP

How does this help YOU?

• Do you sabotage your success?• Do you get a business off the ground to

just to crush it?• You can talk to customers, team members

and then when there is a great prize to win or to get to the next level, you just pull out to watch yourself loose?

• Have you deliberately watched yourself talk badly to people who were there to help you?

The list is endless…

• If this is so then like me you need come to terms with these loose ends and

DEAL WITH THEM

Face them head on

• This is what I did and believe you me for only 2 weeks I actually loved myself!

• This was totally new for me, the feeling is

IndescribableIt is not like falling in love with some

person as this person is YOUYou know yourself too well to lie about

bits and bobs…You know your ups & down…

But this is another HIGH

like never before and your business takes off with no

sabotage in sight

Dig deep…Spend time

This is why it is important for you to go back to slide 10 and get your own life

mapped outfor starters get an old record (song) out and listen let yourself drift back

Now get your dictaphone out, your pen & paper

whatever you feel happiest with and write, write, write;- just bullet points;- just words even;

not to worry we can work on that

This is tough but this is the end of ‘vous’

and the beginning of ‘tu’*

*vous = several of you *tu = one of you