Parenting 3 prov 24 3 4 043010

Perfecting Our Parenting

Direction Out of DysfunctionProverbs 24:3-4

An Experiential Exegesis of the Plight

of Step-Parenting1. One of the

greatest parenting challenges that exists is trying to be a step-parent


of Step-Parenting2. It is harder

to manage a home when the children arrived before the marriage


of Step-Parenting3. When we discuss perfecting

our parenting, we are referring to many different kinds of family configurations

Thesis:•We insist on a strictly

biblical model for families, and not all families in the Bible were simple nuclear configurations.

Challenges to Blended Family Functionality

1. Issues of relational management

Point 1.

•Step-families don’t have a family tree; they have a family forest!



2. Issues of managing loss



2. Issues of managing loss3. Feelings of guilt, failure and

grief are compounded over time and get dragged into the early days of a blended family

The 3G Strategy

A. Grieve the lossB. Grant forgivenessC. Get on with life


4. The parent-child relationship predates the couple relationship, and that naturally produces rivalry, jealousy and competition


5. Relationships with stepchildren develop slowly, especially in the first two years


5. Relationships with stepchildren develop slowly, especially in the first two years

6. Adding the Ex-factor complicates an already complex situation


7. Blended families receive far less emotional, physical and spiritual support from the church, their families and friends, than do “normal” nuclear couples


7. Blended families receive far less emotional, physical and spiritual support from the church, their families and friends, than do “normal” nuclear couples

8. Probability of a step-family breakup is 55 to 75 percent, and are 50% more likely to fail than a first marriage

Handling Up on Blended Family

Business

1. Slowly, prayerfully, and

carefully pick the person you are going to parent

with


Business

2. If you are married to the

biological mother or father of some

or all of your kids, use Bible

principles to make the marriage work


Business3. If you are now blended in your

family, view it providentially, and recognize the fact

that you are charged by God with a

responsibility to perfect your

parenting biblically

Element of Encouragement #1.

•Parenting a blended family is hard, but endure hardness, because it is supported by God’s providence.


• In order to succeed you are going to have to activate God’s providence by prayer.


•Prayer will enable you to be persistent by allowing you to gain perspective.


•As you do what Jesus did, you will be empowered with a radical vision, strategy and sacrificial love to do the same.

Point 2.

•One of the most important qualities you can have as a parent in a blended family is teachability.

Seven Strategies for Success

1. Advance as a team


1. Advance as a team2. Avoid step-parent

bashing


1. Advance as a team2. Avoid step-parent

bashing3. Admit the truth on

issues of discipline

Point 3.

•You can always come to a negotiated solution by walking to the center from the extremes.


4. As your kids age you have to out-think them


4. As your kids age you have to out-think them

5. Acknowledge that relationship precedes setting rules

Point 4.• If you go out of control

because your child or your spouse will not do what you want them to, then you have lost control of the one thing you were to maintain control over during their disobedience.


6. Appreciate everything until further notice


6. Appreciate everything until further notice

7. Appeal to a higher authority

Spiritual

Parenting 3 prov 24 3 4 043010