Fundraising Is F'd Up

Blake Commagere @commagere

Fundraising Is Fucked Up

Why it is so fucked up, and how to make it less fucked up.


Who the hell am I? It’s a fair question

●Started seven companiesoFive of those have been bought

●Raised over 12M Angel / VC●I build viral things

oPlaxooCausesoVampires

●I’m obsessed with human behavior

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My Fucking TalksAnalogies Rule

Dave McClure Blake Commagere

●Makes sailors blush with his swearing

●Occasionally uses hyperbole in his talks

●Is funny

●Makes Dave McClure blush with his swearing

●The most egregious abuse of hyperbole

●Thinks he’s funny

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This talk is for you.

Interrupt at any point. Don’t be shy.

If it sucks and you never say anything, I’m blaming you.

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What I’m covering

●How fundraising is so fucked up

●Why investors think the way they do

●How to mitigate the stress of fundraising

●Behaviors to increase your odds of success

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What I’m NOT covering AKA “Shit you should already know”

●What should be in your deck

●Deal termsoRead “Venture Deals” by Brad Feld & Jason Mendelson

●What to do if your deal is hotoIf your deal is hot, you don’t need help. No rules

apply. Congratulations, be a giant asshole, there’s no consequences for your behaviour. Until the next round.

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http://www.amazon.com/Venture-Deals-Smarter-Lawyer-Capitalist-ebook/dp/B00AO2PWOI


How fucked up is fundraising?

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How fucked up is fundraising? What do you do when your job is to make it rain?

●It is inefficientoYou could spend 3 months on itoYou will likely spend 6-9 months on itoYou are not allowed to stop until the $ is in the bank

●It is stressful oIt is a distraction from building your companyoYou can NOT fuck this up. There is no second place.

●The skills you use in fundraising are the same skills you use to get a dateoIn high schooloIf you’re a dudeoWithout a car

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How investors think

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Investors. How do they work? What do you do when your job is to make it rain?

●Fund sizes necessitate huge returns ●Picking winners at the Series A stage is very hard oKnown quantities make this less very hardoFounder history oTractionoUnfair advantages are good

●If an investor says no 100% of the time, they will be correct 99% of the timeoIt’s hard to say yes. It’s also hard to say no.

Unfortunately.

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$20M is a lot of fucking money Especially if you don’t already have $20M

●If you build a company worth $20M after 8-12 yrs:oThat is an amazing accomplishmentoYou should be proud that you achieved such a rare

success

oThat doesn’t move the needle for a $300M fundoIt certainly doesn’t move the needle for a $1B fundoYou have created a lifestyle businessoYour company is a rounding error for them

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Opposites Attract You are not an investor

Entrepreneurs Investors

●Most have never been an investor

●Almost every decision has to be fast

●Most decisions are reversible

●Most have never been an entrepreneur

●Only some decisions have to be fast

●Most decisions are NOT reversible

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Mitigating your stress

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Money Stress This fucking sucks

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Value Stress This sucks less

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Money isn’t everything Well, it is, but there is other value derived from the process

●You become better at pitching●You learn about competitors

oPotential/ActualoPerceived

●You networkoYou’re becoming a known quantity

●Not convinced? LIE TO YOURSELF

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Increasing your odds of success

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Falling in love takes time Don’t rush it

●Be ready to discuss everybody’s favorite topic

●Confidence ●Warm up the same way you would with interviews

●You are a beautiful and unique snowflakeoJust like everybody elseoBrilliant? Passionate? Hard-working? Congrats, so is

everybody else that is meeting with that investor.

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Use Active Voice Passive voice = weakness in your business

●You have a better chance of fundraising if you use active voice

●Using active voice makes you sound like an asshole

●Hooray Syllogisms

●Your competitors are assholesoOr at least you hope they are

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The Followup Be a better investment

●Maybe = No●Sometimes you have to play hard to getoThe answer to “Should I call again?” is NOoNever. Ever.

●Your email wasn’t lost ●The only update they want is the one where you are better than last time

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Want more swearing and/or advice?

[email protected]

@commagere

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Small Business & Entrepreneurship

Fundraising Is F'd Up