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BY: JACOB WELLS
FIRST REASON
HE IS LEBANESE
SECOND REASON
HE SUCKZ AT MUSIK AND SPELLING
THIRD REASON
HE CANT DO A BACKFLIP
FOURTH REASON
HE IS A TERRIBLE DRUMMER
FIFTH REASON
IF HE WAS A GIRL, HE’D BE A FAT
GIRL
SIXTH REASON
HIS FAUXHAWK IS GAY
Exhibit AExhibit A
JUST KIDDING…
I LIKE HIS FAUXHAWK
SEVENTH REASON
HE CANT DRIVE WITH HIS FOOT, LET
ALONE HIS HAND
EIGHTH REASON
HE TRIES TO PLAY ULTIMATE
FRISBEE… I DON’T HAVE THE HEART
TO TELL HIM HE SUCKS. OOPS.
NINTH REASON
HIM+PONG OF ANY TYPE = COMEDY
AT ITS BEST
TENTH REASON
HIS EARS DON’T LINE UP WITH THE
REST OF HIS FACE
ELEVENTH REASON
HIS VIBRAMS ARE GAY. AND LOOK
LIKE WATER SOCKS
TWELVTH REASON
IF HE WAS AN INSTRUMENT, HE’D BE
A VUVEZUELA
THIRTEENTH REASON
HE THINKS HACKY SACKS ARE
COOL
FOURTEENTH REASON
HE LIKES BOYZ
FIFTEENTH REASON
HE WANTS TO BE A MODEL AT
HOLISTER
SIXTEENTH REASON
HE CANT PLAY MARIMBA AS GOOD
AS JAMES FITZGERALD OR THAT
BLIND GUY WHO TRIPPED AND FELL
INTO ONE
SEVENTEENTH REASON
HE “LIKES THE SMELL OF WOOD”
(HOMO)
EIGHTEENTH REASON
HIS IDOL IS ZACH CHRUMA,
ENOUGH SAID.
NINTEENTH REASON
HE HAS ABSOLUTELY NO SENSE OF
TIMING
TWENTIETH REASON
HE THINKS THE 60 IS THE
202…EVEN THOUGH THE SIGNS
TELL HIM HE IS WRONG
TWENTY-FIRST REASON
WHEN HE WAS 10 HE HAD A BOWL
CUT. LOLZ
TWENTY-SECOND
REASON HIS INVENTIONS AND
SUPERPOWERS ARE SILLY
TWENTY-THIRD REASON
HE LIKES TO DRESS UP AND PLAY
WITH DOLLS
LAST REASON
HE WAS BORN
JUST KIDDING
(NO HOMO)
