Onlyness

By Santosh Jha

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Copyright 2014 Santosh Jha

Smashwords Edition

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Other Titles By Santosh Jha

Onlyness (Fiction)

Back To Bliss: A Journey To Zero (Fiction)

Autobiography Of A Duffer (Fiction)

Naked Solutions Of Dressed Up Life Woes (Non-fiction)

Habitual Hero: The Art Of Winning (Non-fiction)

Maya And Leela: Utility In Life‟s Futility (Non-fiction)

Why We Flop In Love (Non-fiction)

Wisdom Of Wellness: Perpetuity Of Poise Of Purpose (Non-fiction)

Decipher Destiny: Decode God‟s Will (Non-fiction)

Youth Sanity In Crazy Culture (Non-fiction)

Redeem & Reinvent The Art Of Lost Wellness

India Beyond Stampede Of Stupidities (Non-fiction)

Karta: Life Inspiring Essays Of Cognition, Consciousness & Causality (Essays)

**

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**

Disclaimer: This work is an absolute fiction, an outcome of pure imagination of perceived

situations, with the clean purpose of the navigation of a set of life ideas. All characters and their

portrayal are fictitious, with no intentional resemblance to anyone dead or alive. Any semblance

must be accepted as pure coincidence and inadvertent.

**

CHAPTER 1

The singularities of life have elemental eccentricities of happening and un-happening; almost as

weird and randomized as love. The elements of one‟s own life and that of the equally precarious

milieus are both patterned as well as un-patterned. The juxtaposition of symmetrical possibilities

amid the larger probabilistic asymmetry of arbitrary milieus engender such beautiful marvels of

life-living experiences, which people can accept only in one way – the destiny.

A resplendently beautiful woman, the empress of eclectic endowments of extremities of name,

fame and flair, the reigning royalty of Hollywood‟s dream factory, the Oscar winner and highest

paid actor is currently the subject of destiny. Like in love, she is unaware of the cryptic

conspiracies of cosmic causalities, which has landed her in a sleepy small town of Rishikesh in

India, the Yoga capital of the world; thousands of miles away from the colossal clutters of the

Los Angeles, California in United States of America, where she belongs.

Destiny is much like love. Both happen and un-happen and neither way, one is sure whether it is

good or bad. People always search for their destinies as well as love. Both are wired and wielded

within as randomized probabilities. The co-incidence and favorability of elements, somehow

present themselves as pretext for something, which is not an external situation, rather an internal

positioning. The moment, one accepts, love happens and destiny is signed in. Until then,

possibilities hang in balance as un-happening.

Melissa Knowles is also out on a journey, unconsciously in search of her destiny. She and her

resolve has already energized a patterning of causality, which she is innocently unaware of.

However, what destiny has in store for her shall be decided not by factors outside in her near and

far milieus, rather by what she finally accepts as something, which is her own internal

positioning of consciousness.

An empress itself is neither a title nor a person. It is a positioning of consciousness, which is so

much overwhelmed by endowments, both within and outside, that it invariably lands at the eye

of the storm of life probabilities. Most women are born empress. It is an archetypal conspiracy of

cosmic causalities to put women in a conscious positioning of empress. It is only natural that all

elemental probabilities shall look up to the empress for taking commands from her. The empress

therefore is always in tumult. All empires are in turmoil, so is the empress.

It is only a yogi, who can see the patterns, which destinies unravel in the storm as, he is standing

far away from it and happily detached to the cyclicality of cosmic conspiracies of elements. An

empress and yogi together create a brilliant singularity, which holds the potential of unleashing

beautiful probabilities of destinies. The cosmic conspiracy has almost taken a pattern. The

empress has arrived and, the yogi is about to enter the scenario.

The time, space and circumstances have presented a bizarre coincidence. There however is no

element of favorability, which people usually associate coincidence with, for beneficial destiny.

As it is the rule; destinies are situationed one way and an empress has her own elements

positioned the other way. The third dimension of the yogi can add its own causality.

In ancient Indian traditions of Hindu religion, there is said to be a general prohibition of any

good work in a time-space situation, which is referred as „sandhi-kaal‟. It is a time and space

where one is about to end and other is yet to start. This period of transition is considered

inauspicious and unproductive, as all elements of nature are weak and bendable. The weaknesses

of elements aggravate the randomization of probabilities and it is believed, anything getting a

start during the „sandhi kaal‟ shall have calamitous future.

Melissa is innocently unaware that she is starting a new phase of her life in the „sandhi kaal‟.

The wall clock shows 5.30 pm as she waits in an old wooden chair in the corner of a large hall of

the yoga ashram (hermitage) for the Acharya (chief teacher) to arrive. The day has heralded its

departure and night has not yet arrived. There is still enough humidity in the air as it is

September. Rainy season is retreating but the winter has not yet showed up its pink comfort. The

place itself is a junctional situation, as Rishikesh town is situated on the foothills of Himalayan

mountain ranges. The Gangetic plains vanish here but the mountains start beyond the township.

Melissa too is in „sandhi kaal‟ of her life. She left her home in USA after a favorable phase of

life seemed to have ended for her but even in India, she is not yet sure, what new turn she wants

in her life. Sometimes back, she had read about yoga meditation and India seemed not so

unfamiliar to her as once, while she was only six, her father had taken her to Rishikesh and

beyond. She had been fascinated by Himalayas and as her now estranged father, suggested that

she visited Rishikesh and lived in a yoga ashram for some time, she accepted it.

The yoga ashram and the ambience are much beyond the description and pictures her father had

sent her. The serpentine narrow road, which leads to the ashram, has bushes and trees laden with

flowers on both sides, which she does not recognize. The fragrance of the wild flowers and rain-

soaked soil has mixed to give a very earthy aroma, which feels like musk but is more pungent.

The road opens into a slight slope, leading to an undulating valley like terrain, in the middle of

which the ashram is situated.

From three sides of the ashram, the first series of Himalayan mountains rise like ramparts of a

castle. The mountains are not very high and steep and are heavily clad with green trees and

shrubs. Few scattered houses on them look like flags hanging on the trees. There are few

openings between the mountains, making the air gush in. Melissa feels, the wind was not

whispering, rather saying something loudly but amiably. The fourth side of the ashram opens on

the southern side of the Himalayan mountain, where the mighty river Ganges flows with great

force, as it readies itself to touch the plains. The sounds of gushing Ganges waters and mountain

winds create a mesmerizing symphony.

Melissa instantly likes the milieu and settings. For the first time in so many days, she feels calm

and light. Nature‟s own structural symmetry is so full of elemental bounties and

multidimensionality that it offers refuge and reassurance to all emotions and consciousnesses of

all lives. The wide and open vista of landscape, which further extends the limits of horizon,

engenders a feeling of instant wellness to Melissa. The constricted consciousness of Melissa

desperately needs larger and wider space for her emotions to get a free flight of escape. The

synchronous sounds of wind and water penetrate her heart, where silence has started to suffocate

her. She feels filled and free. Something touches her and she just responds by allowing her smile

to get unburdened by her conscious resolve. Destinies do not barge in. They pass by and touch

you by their soft elemental scent. As you do not resist and simply remain positively neutral,

destinies start to unleash their causalities. Melissa has stopped resisting.

As she is received at the ashram gate, ushered in to the main hall and asked to wait for a while as

Acharya was in puja (prayers), Melissa is beginning to feel slightly thrilled with expectations of

something good finally coming her way. Elements of destinies weave a wanton web of

probabilistic causalities. What ends the web connects and what pattern it engenders may be

precarious, however, the subject of destiny always provides the first will, consciously or

unconsciously. Melissa is not only not resisting, she is now expecting!

The local police officer and one staff from the American Embassy, who accompanies Melissa

from Delhi, are busy talking something. The police official is trying to assure the Embassy man

that everything is fine here and there is nothing to worry. He is not even listening and moving

swiftly to assess everything here. He makes some notes on his iPad and then turns to the police

officer making queries. Melissa watches them arguing for a while and then turns her attention to

better things.

She walks up to the other side of the hall, where a large window offers a spectacular view of the

entire ashram few steps below and the mountains beyond. There are several small huts, some

slightly bigger. All of them made of mud and wood, having thatched roofs. There is a small pond

on one side of the huts, in which some ducks are swimming. Many rabbits of different colors are

freely jumping all around. What amazes Melissa is the variety of birds everywhere in the ashram.

There are many pitchers placed on trees beyond the pond and every now and then, some pigeons

either enter them or leave out of the large hole of the pitchers. On all the walls of every hut, there

are many small wooden boxes with small holes on the front side. As Melissa wonders about what

they are, a sparrow comes flying, sits on the box and swiftly sneaks into the hole. Seconds later,

another sparrow follows suit. Melissa thinks, the second one must have been the husband

sparrow, who joined his wife as evening was approaching. She feels something tweaking in her

heart and she begins to look away. A boy enters the hall with three small earthen pots. The police

officer requests her to come and have tea. The embassy man takes two pots and moves towards

Melissa, waiving his hand, gesturing her to stay there. The police officer understood the situation

and moved out of the hall, taking his pot of tea. Melissa has no choice. She cannot avoid the man

as her mother insisted that she would follow the instructions on her safety, as prescribed by the

American Embassy officials.

Her mother calls her up often, even when she is busy campaigning for her election to

Governorship. Her Senator friend, who is rumored to be more than just a good friend, has

ensured that Melissa is under constant security cover of Embassy people. Melissa dislikes him

and would have refused all this but she knows, her mother would do what the Senator would say.

He moved all his official advantages to woo Melissa. The Senator had offered his pad in Paris for

Melissa as alternative to India but she had refused. Melissa has been away from her father, a

university Professor, who lives in London but she knows, she would never wish to have the

senator step in.

In the adjacent room, a 75-year old man is sitting on an elevated platform in dhyanashna

(meditative posture), his eyes closed. He looks very thin and frail but his face radiates calmness

and childlike innocence. The thick and completely white hair and beard too cannot eclipse his

smiling wheatish face. The Acharya rarely meets anyone from outside his ashram but he agrees

to meet Melissa, as she is someone special for him.

A young man, named Shiv, dressed in long white robe is sitting beneath him. He keeps looking

at the face of the old man, as if he is trying to read something from his facial expressions. This

34-year old man is the favorite disciple of the old Acharya and an accomplished yoga master. He

is tall, bright skinned and manly. However, his body has the softness and malleability, which

matches his seemingly boyish face and large feminine eyes. Like a perfect yogi, he has his heart,

mind and body in singular linearity of compassionate being, which makes the body-mind

consciousness a beautifully poised fusion of best of both feminine and masculine elements. This

is in the ideal tradition of Shiva, the transcendental yogi, the ultimate metaphor of

ardhnareeshwar (half male and female).

The Acharya opens his eyes and looks affectionately at the young man, who moves close to him

in anticipation of something precious that the old man may say. The Acharya however picks up a

piece of paper and writes something on it. He extends the paper to the young man. Two lines are

written in Sanskrit, which are essentially a shloka (couplet) from the holy book Geeta. The

Krishna saying the lines to Arjuna, which means – „he who seeks me in whichever disposition, I

meet him in the same facilitative consciousness‟. The young yogi folds the paper and puts it in

his pocket. He accepts the orders of his guru and shall always obey his command enshrined in

the shloka. He touches the feet of the old guru and both rise up to move to the hall, where

Melissa awaits them.

**

CHAPTER 2

Melissa‟s mother is relieved and happy. The early morning call from Melissa extended her the

reasons for it. Melissa talked well and seemed reasonably pleased with her start in India. She told

her about how she liked the place and was satisfied with the beautiful small mud and wooden hut

she was provided for her stay in the ashram. She assured her that she was feeling better and

looked forward to making the best out of the change in her life. She sounded a bit irritated that

the Acharya had excused himself from teaching her because of his poor health and instead

delegated a young man to be with her for any help or, if she wishes, guide her in her learning.

However, the way she described every detail about the ashram and its ambience, Melissa‟s

mother felt sure that she had at least come out of the groove she had plunged herself into, after

her failed suicide attempt, a month back.

She is relieved that the new milieu shall help Melissa come out of her messy past and lead her to

redeem her life back to the tracks. She is happy because now she can afford to take her mind

away from Melissa‟s woes and concentrate on her election campaign. Years back, she had

accepted that Melissa had charted her life good bit away from her and she was just like a

confession box to her. Melissa would never fail to post her of all her wrongs. That surely saved

her life a month back.

They had never talked about it. She learnt it from tabloids that Melissa was dating this billionaire

guy and was growing serious about him. She knew little about the man as she knew, America,

like anywhere else, was having a deluge of young billionaires, who made it by some sudden and

favorable turn of precarious markets, or the public mood for lapping up novelty, or simply

inheriting a business empire. The mother and daughter had sort of, made an unwritten covenant;

Melissa never talked to her about the Senator, the new man in her life and they never talked

about her dad, whom her mother divorced when Melissa was only 12. She in turn never

questioned any of her decisions, personal or professional. Anyway, since her teen days, Melissa

would tell her straightaway, if she did something wrong or terrible. On that terrible night too,

when Melissa swallowed the sleeping pills, she instinctively typed her mother a message on her

mobile phone, before she slipped away. This saved her.

Once again, she discovered all facts and fiction about her daughter‟s current situation from the

morning newspapers. She was out of danger but still sleeping in her hospital bed. She did not

have the occasion to know what made her do it. The front-page tabloid cover stories at least

made it clear that the billionaire guy had dumped her for a younger girl, who was an upcoming

model. Reports quoted Melissa‟s unnamed friend divulging it all and alleging that Melissa had

no inkling about all his and as the guy dumped her on phone late evening, Melissa could not take

the sudden abandonment and the way it was handed over to her, taking the extreme step.

She had asked the doctor, who supervised Melissa in the emergency, about her condition and

state of mind and what the doctor told, had made her a bit confident. The doctor was a specialist

and he assured her that Melissa had not done it to end her life. It was more of an angry reaction

and could have been avoided, if she had people around her at the time of the impact of the

suddenness of the news. He assured her that Melissa had not lost it, she was probably more angry

than deeply hurt. “She is a brilliant girl, an accomplished performer. All good actors instinctively

know how to enter into the skin of a role and then come out of it clean, after the end of the shot”,

the doctor said with a touch of professional tone in his voice, leaving her relaxed.

The worst was however yet to come. The crowd became unmanageable outside the hospital and

the media people growingly pushed limits. The police guards inside the hospital intercepted a

nurse, suspiciously moving around the special room, where Melissa was kept. She was a

journalist and wanted an exclusive picture of Melissa on hospital bed. The police had tough time

cordoning off the hospital gate for other patients. By evening, the tabloids had all sorts of stories

to tell and suddenly, it looked like Melissa had so many friends, which the tabloids quoted as

close ones, about whom even Melissa‟s mother had no idea. On television, breaking news had

been replaced by panel discussions on all aspects of the event; from the trend of suicide in

America to the history of Hollywood splits. Everyone, from media, average people, fellow

celebrities or politicians seemed to know much more about Melissa and her inside stories than

her own mother.

The media had a double dose of entertainment to dish out to gossip bazaar. Melissa was still in

hospital and stories about her state of being and future were top stories. However, every story

had a second lead story of how Melissa‟s mother was having a tough time as her daughter is

doomed and her political career had received a jolt, before it could even take off. Stories carried

her opposition leaders questioning the credibility of her as mother, who could not care her only

daughter and was not even available at the time when her daughter needed her the most. They

questioned the credibility of her abilities as leader.

Melissa‟s mother was not at all worried about media and possible troubles on her political career.

She was a fighter and even loved and relished her warrior attitude. Like most women, who have

to face the tough world full of hypocrisies and conflicts all alone, she felt rather thrilled and

happy fighting it out. Winning becomes pleasantly intoxicating and struggle to win extends the

much-needed nourishment and replenishment to the subconscious pride of egoistic

consciousness. The media barrage and political onslaughts had surely filled her up with

excitement and she had already sketched her counter-plans in her mind. What held her back was

her bewilderment with Melissa factor. She was at loss how to face Melissa and how to strike a

conversation with her on the entire mess up.

She and Melissa had never been in such a situation of unsettled emotions. Melissa erred even

earlier and often landed herself in some trouble but Melissa simply informed her and it was

perfectly understood between them that Melissa would herself handle it. She just had to tell her

that she understood and appreciated. There never was the need for either of them being

emotional and in need of intimate conversation. She understood that this time around, Melissa

would probably need her as a mother and not just a „friend‟, who only received unilaterally. The

later arrangement was something she was always more comfortable with, rather than being

happy about it, in all these years.

Intimacy and emotional oneness with someone is toughest in relationships when it suddenly

comes up as a „need‟ and the required linkages and past precedents, to make it happen, is missing

for years. She needed some quiet moments alone and space to mull over how she would perform

and present herself, when Melissa would gain consciousness and she would have to face her. She

weighed her words but kept shuffling with them as they failed to satisfy her. Probably silence

would be a better choice, she thought but even this option looked insufficient. The trouble was

that she was not sure, how Melissa would take her words, in her current state of mind. When life

occasions the larger and real utility of words, their futility is the first realization. But, it is too late

then. People seldom practice communication and expressions beyond the convenience of words

in daily life. Words make good business; however has little utility, as carriers of deep and true

emotions. Somehow, people are always happy with business of life and care a little about good

utility and value of life.

Such is the cosmic construction that what one seeks desperately is what one usually gets. The

nature meets him or her in a similar facilitative and catalytic consciousness. The subject‟s

disposition and conscious positioning creates a „gravitational pull‟, which draws synchronous

and symmetrical elements of cosmos for facilitation. However, by the time attainments and

endowments happen; there usually being a time lag; the subject‟s disposition & consciousness

shifts to different plane. Usually, what initiates desire as expression of utility of attainment, ends

up as futility, when endowment attains finality. This conflict is cosmic construction. It authors all

stories of different „protagonists‟, „plots‟, „preface‟ and „progression‟. People being theatres of

the enactment of stories, are bound to have a false belief of „pride of possession‟. However, life

itself has the last story.

Melissa‟s mother felt low and even irritated at her predicament. Her political career had lots of

credit to her fine oratory skills. Her pride possession was her spontaneous and melodramatic

speeches, which even her adversaries admitted, connected her audience with her magical charm.

She knew where it touched people and spared no words to do it often, while she rattled her words

in stupendously inter-woven series. However, sitting outside the ICU of the hospital, waiting for

her daughter to come to senses, she had no choice to be honest to herself and admit that she had

missed the natural touch of being a mother, even when she proved herself to be a brilliant

politician. As time ticked away, she prayed for a miracle to show her a way.

Melissa‟s father finally managed to get past the crowd in front of the hospital gate and convinced

a police officer to take him to her inside. Melissa‟s mother could not believe, he was standing in

front of her. She could not understand what to say and how to react. Finally, she broke down and

wept like a child. He kept assuring her that the worst was over and everything would take a new

and good beginning. He took charge of everything within minutes. He arranged a room for her,

asked her to sleep, advising the doctors to administer a mild sedative to her. He took it on to

himself to see that he is there when Melissa opens her eyes, asking her to relax and try to sleep.

Melissa‟s mother was relaxed. She knew, he was meticulously systematic and brilliant at

handling tough situations. She also felt, Melissa too would be better off seeing her father first up.

The element of unexpectedness would probably help her be at ease, not seeing her mother but

her father instead. She was not sure, whether she should say sorry first or thanks to Melissa‟s

father. She dozed off thinking about it as the sedative took her in.

**

CHAPTER 3

Melissa wakes up at 5.30 in the morning and gets ready for her first day of yoga session. The

night conversation with the young yogi is still in her mind. The Acharya assigned him to her for

all her training and anything she wished to know and learn. The old man could not speak much

in English but said to her that her father was a benefactor of the yoga ashram, therefore, she

would be provided with special facilities. The young yogi was assigned for her personal and

exclusive training and help.

The young yogi had come to her cottage the previous night and asked her if she was interested in

learning yoga meditation. He had asked her to tell him why she had thought of coming here,

what she wished to learn and anything particular she wanted to know about. She had no ready

answer and seeing her baffled, the yogi had asked her to tell him next morning. She thought

about it. She was not sure whether he knew about her or her recent past. She could not make up

her mind whether to tell him everything or not. She thought, if she told her that she was feeling

very low and her father sent her here to redeem and rejuvenate in a completely unknown milieu,

he might think very poorly of her. As she readies to leave her cottage to see the yogi, she makes

up her mind.

Two large mats are laid under a huge mango tree, around two hundred meters away from the

ashram. In the backdrop, light red shade has appeared in the sky atop the mountains. The

morning light is sufficient to see the meandering narrow pathway, cleared of grass, leading to the

mango tree. Melissa can see the young yogi is sitting in a meditative body posture and facing

him, good ten feet away is a mat meant for her. She sits on it and feels the sensation in her heart.

The breeze was comfortably cool and there was a mix of aromas around. It was a new experience

for her. The elements of nature have started to nudge her senses and the resultant shades of

consciousnesses make her happily baffled, as she has not met theses elements in such raw and

close proximity earlier.

“What should I call you?”, Melissa starts the conversation.

“Call me Shiv”.

“No, I mean, if there is a particular norm or way to call teachers here, I shall do it. I wish to

follow all norms here.”

“Shiv is okay”, he says in a low but deep voice. “There are no norms and rules. You have to

follow what makes you have improved and deeper audience with yourself. You should also

accept that I am not your teacher; I am just a facilitator. As I had asked you earlier, you must be

sure, what made you come here, what you wish to know and attain. I shall simply facilitate.”

Melissa keeps looking at his calm face. He has large eyes and Melissa had noticed that they had

a feminine appearance. He always talked in low but deep resonating voice. His tall and well-

toned body had soft looks and his long sleek hands always gestured, while he said something.

What amazed Melissa most about him was his lips, which moved very little, when he spoke. As

Melissa had rehearsed, she tells him that she came here because her father wished her to spend

time in a place near nature and learn good things about yoga.

“You know Shiv”, she says, trying her best to match his tone and style. “I am happy with this

place but I really do not know what I can learn about yoga and anything else, which could be of

benefit for me. I think, you have to be more than just a facilitator to me and actually be my

teacher.”

“Melissa, there is an old proverb, which says; nobody can teach anything to anyone, however,

anyone can learn anything. The idea is, learning is a receptive mechanism of consciousness and

this reception is in the part of the receiver, not the dispenser. Knowledge, wisdom or ideas are

scattered all around. What becomes your learning is what sinks in within your consciousness and

that happens when you accept and happily receive something as utility.”

“You mean to say that I must have the clarity of notion about what has utility and benefit for me

as this alone can make me learn something? But what about kids, who do not know what is good

for them. At the start, someone must decide for them what is good or bad. The parents and

teachers do it for them.”

“I agree. Being a child is considered the most suitable state of consciousness for learning. They

have the innocence of objective faith and that makes reception as something very natural and

spontaneous. From mind perspective, they do not have anything to unlearn and that is why

anything, which is there for them, becomes their automatic learning. This too is not ideal but

beautifully facilitative. A child has no option but to accept everything he or she is doled out as

learning. However, when maturity comes at a later stage of life, they have more difficult task of

unlearning a lot many things, which they made a part of their knowledge pool. You are not a

child, though innocence of faith still holds out as a good useful facility for you. You already have

evolved and matured in a particular way. For you, there are sets of utility and ideas of

beneficiality, which may be subjective to you but they are very much part of your consciousness.

Even when you put in an innocent faith of a child, a new learning, which does not work out to be

in linearity with your already accepted domains of utility and beneficiality, cannot be accepted

by your subconscious mind.”

Melissa looks deep into his eyes. She is not sure. The man is a mystery to him. His voice and

mannerisms are very assuring and the way he puts in his words, seems very honest and sincere.

However, what he said, she could not clearly understand and that is why, there is a sense of

confusion in her about how she should take him. For a woman, judging comes natural. She has to

be very sure of the deep intent of a man she would rest her faith on. It is her instinct. Nature

designed her this way. Here, she is not even sure what this man is actually wanting from her.

Does he want her to have faith in him? Does he intend to lead her to a trap situation, where she

could drop her guard and get influenced by his ways? Is he scheming something? What is he up

to?

He accepts her silence. He of course has a scheme for her; surely wants something out of her. He

smiles and this makes her more suspicious. She finds it hard to hide her emotions. He is reading

them all, as morning light is now good enough to make her face gleam.

“Melissa, this is the difference. A child is an option-less receptor. We as grownups are used to

relying more on our intelligence than our innocence. We are adept at option building.

Intelligence is all about option building over probable shades of a meaning, which a set of words

install. That is why I said, you already have a wisdom in your consciousness, which has been

useful and beneficial to you so far. May be, somewhere, it could not be helpful to you, in

protecting and prolonging your interests; I cannot say with surety as I do know nothing about

your life and past. However, I believe, utilities are neither created nor dumped overnight. If you

could decide, what you think is in your extended utility, I shall have the ease in facilitating them

to you.”

Melissa feels relieved that he does not know anything about her and her past. She can now make

her moves better. However, she is still not sure, what she wants new in her life. She thinks, she

can take a chance with him. May be, she should let him take her where he wishes to and then

have a judgment later, whether she can trust him or not.

“You do not need to stress yourself over what I have been saying. This surely is not my purpose.

You need to trust me on that. I must tell you that your father has been a very special person for

this ashram and Acharya. We all just wish to make your stay here very meaningful and useful for

you. It is good that you have liked this place and happy about your stay here so far. So, you can

take your time to decide what you wish to attain out of your sojourn here.”

“Thanks Shiv, I appreciate your words. May be you are right, I need some time to think.”

“I wish to tell you something, which I request you listen with innocence and not intelligence. I

told you I could not be your teacher, not because of any ego or negativity. For humanity, wisdom

is not yet a finality; probably it can never be. I have been trained in many things, including yoga

but I know that everything is evolving and new insights into all wisdoms are being added. Being

a teacher means; I know and can give you that. This however is not true. Learning is always on

for me. As I said, I can just be a facilitator. You can know so many things here and from me.

However, what utility they could be is what you make of. That is why I have been insisting that

you decide everything. Life learning is no curriculum and cannot be institutionalized. You frame

your questions and I shall attempt to give you answers to the best of my abilities. Then again,

you have to come up with more questions to settle down to the utility and fruition of the answers,

which you may accept as beneficial to you.”

“What if I do not have questions? Why can‟t answers be accepted as surety of utility?”

“Then it shall fall in some different domain, which shall be more difficult for you and probably,

this shall lead you to more confusion. It shall be the domain of complete trust and faith. You

shall start accepting what I tell or extend to you as knowledge. Your mind already has lot many

referrals for good and bad, right and wrong, utility and futility. The new knowledge may stand in

conflict and contradiction to your referral-pool, resulting in confusion and more conflicts. This

approach is amenable only for kids, who do not have previous referrals in their mind. They

accept what is given. Only when they grow and mature, they prune it and unlearn as per their

rationality of subjective utility. You have already matured in a particular way. You are not a

blank mind.”

“Okay, but you will help me with questions too?”

“I told you, I am a facilitator. I shall facilitate everything for you but you have to be the finality

on the utility of the ultimate beneficiality of anything you accept as learning.”

“Why you insist on me having to be the finality? I think, if you have acquired knowledge after

years of training and persevered learning, you can confidently extend to me as good thing?”

“Melissa, what stays with you as wisdom is what your mind accepts and internalizes as utility for

your larger wellness. Old wisdom says, nothing external to you actually exists and what you

internalize is the only reality. We shall talk about it later. Let me say that you can start on this

hypothesis of mine, to build a theory, which you can challenge later, if you do not find it useful

for you.”

“Okay, I accept. So, what is next for the day?”

“Yes. Close your eyes, sit in a way you feel comfortable, keep your body perfectly erect and still

like a rock. Try to switch off your mind, concentrate on your breath, feel it going deep down

your body and going away. Gradually, let the feeling sink in that you are one with the nature

around. If you start feeling any pain, stop and go for a walk.”

She follows the instructions. As she closes her eyes, her mind starts racing up thoughts after

thoughts. She gets mired into them, completely forgetting to focus on her breathing. In a few

minutes, her back starts aching. She opens one of her eyes to see what he is doing. She sees her

walking towards the ashram. She rises and starts to walk away from him. She needs to address to

her thoughts. Too many issues on a single day and she has to make up her mind.

**

CHAPTER 4

Melissa spends good part of the day meeting different people of the ashram, asking them what

brought them here and what they were learning. She finds a strange commonality. Most came

here after they had trouble in their lives. Their focus was taking to yoga meditation and spiritual

way of life to come out of their sadness and emotional instability. They felt, their worldly

troubles would be settled, if they gave themselves in to spiritual ways. They were given a

regimen and they followed it, without asking anything.

Melissa feels bad that she is also part of the crowd. She also came here after a mishap in her life.

She consoles herself that she came here just to escape from the chaos back home. She did not

need a cure but just peace of mind and a place where people could not recognize her and her

past. She however realizes that she is being given a special status and that is why, she was

provided an exclusive trainer and he is not making her follow a fixed regime. Rather, he is being

good enough to leave it on her discretion as what and how she wishes to get benefit out of the

available resources. She feels more assured of Shiv and his persistence as she begins to

understand that he is treating her differently and in some special way.

Late evening, she calls her mother and as expected, her mother has nothing assuring to tell her.

She rather asks her to enjoy the nature and peace. She tells her that learning is always optional. If

she feels unsure about it, she should tell Shiv that she does not wish to learn anything specific

and she would pick up on her own, if she thinks there is something she can learn there. She even

suggested that she should ask her father about it, as he knew the place and people.

Melissa calls her father and tells him about her predicament. She asks him to help her. She tells

him that she is very comfortable here and as her mother said, she also thinks, learning is optional

for her as what she wants is peace and anonymous life for some time, which she has already

attained here. She tells him that she thinks, she can spend a month here and get back to her best

self as the natural environment and plenty of time with herself shall make it happen. He assures

her that he would give it a thought and would share his views, sending her an e-mail within an

hour. An hour later, she reads the mail:

Dear Melissa,

I am not averse to endorsing your views, as what matters is your peace and wellness. It is good

that you have liked the place. I talked a short while ago to both Acharya and Shiv and they too

feel, you should focus on what makes you feel good and in touch with your inner wellness. That

is why Shiv has been insisting that you decide it.

However, I must tell you what I would do if I were in your place and as I have been visiting this

place, I have actually done it there.

Melissa, you have been born and brought up in America and this country has been a great model

of modernity and scientific ideas. However, many in America feel, everything is not fine with

this exclusivity of worldview. They feel, it is a case of too much too soon for America. In the

history of civilizations, America is relatively a new nation. It has a history and culture of

modernity but does not have ancient ones. You as an American have little idea of what precious

things ancient cultures and civilizations have given to humanity. The place you are, India, had

thriving and very intelligent civilization dating back 5000 years. Indian culture, philosophies,

religion, spiritualism, social ideas etc are well documented and they have immense utility now.

Even contemporary and modern science has now become highly assimilative and integrative of

all these ideas.

For example, what most Americans and western world understands of Yoga is just a set of

physical postures (asanas) and meditation techniques. However, Yoga is one of the most

evolved, highly objective and even very scientific philosophies. What the western world takes of

Yoga is only its spiritual and health benefits. Yoga however is one beautiful and complete way

of life – a highly assimilative worldview, which has immense benefit for larger humanity in

modern age of materialist and consumerist consciousness.

Science is still working on the core mechanism of human consciousness and sense of subjective

self. In their search, new science has now accepted the integration of philosophies and

spiritualism as it is now a wider belief that realism of this world and human lives cannot be

understood by restrictive and singular methodology of pure science of physics and biology.

When I am in the ashram, I just sit with Acharya and listen to him. I ask him whatever comes to

my mind and then assess what he says. An individual‟s consciousness is ever-evolutionary

realism and is somehow a function of interaction between mind and milieus. More you extend

the horizon of your milieu of awareness, larger and stronger becomes the boundaries of your

consciousness. This process is what ancient wisdom terms as „learning‟ and not what we refer to

in modern context of institutional learning in schools, colleges and other institutions. This

learning is true life-learning and this benefits in the sense that it lands you closer and closer to

the ultimate bliss of life and living, beyond available external matters. This bliss inside the

higher consciousness is where one reaches and stays forever.

You do not actually have to think in terms of learning. Acharya has assured me that the young

yogi named Shiv is well versed with not only Yoga philosophy and traditions but also is very

knowledgeable person in entire oriental culture as well as modern traditions. I think, if you just

open up yourself to receive whatever is there in India as something new and unique for you, you

can come back as considerably rejuvenated person. Somehow, you have to trust the young yogi.

Still, it has to be your decision.

Just relax, open up and try to enjoy whatever new realisms come your way, while you stay there.

Your dad.

Melissa reads it twice. She is not sure what her dad wants but she is sure that dad has faith in

Shiv and he thinks this young yogi has something, which she can benefit from. She thinks of

meeting the Acharya but it is already late. She walks to the pond and sits there for a while

thinking.

She contemplates what her dad said, in his letter about American worldview being

predominantly modernist and scientific and realism being beyond this worldview. She cannot

relate this idea with her own wellness and benefit. May be, she thinks, dad is right when he says

that western worldview is overly modernist because it is relatively new; but how the Indian

ancient worldview can add to her wellness. The world she has seen and lived has given her

everything. What happened to her is an accident that can happen to anyone. Why then dad feels

she can be better off if she opens herself to new worldview, that too, thousands of years old.

She doubts such ancient and old ideas can have any relevance in contemporary modern world.

And why he says science is accepting ancient ideas in its new approach. How can science relate

to those old and outdated ideas, which were formulated by people thousands of years back, when

they had almost no knowledge of even basic facts about the world and life? She is not sure but

she feels world over people are accepting scientific and modernist ways of life and this is surely

not reversible. She thinks, her dad made her more confused instead of solving her predicament.

Still, she believes her dad cannot be wrong, as in the last one month she could see how he took

care of her and was always present, when she needed him the most, leaving everything behind in

London for her. She walks back to her cottage and tries to sleep. She decides that she would take

the call next morning.

Melissa was a brilliant child. Her father had realized quite early that Melissa observed things

very minutely and was real genius at picking up subtle and latent intents as well as energies. She

was only five or six years of age, when he would take her to places with him and she would

silently observe people, events, places and activities. Later, she would ask him questions, which

would amaze him but he was extremely happy to answer her in a way as if he was lecturing his

postgraduate students. He treated her like an empress and made her imbibe all those behavior and

action mannerisms, which suited an empress.

Melissa‟s dad had a plan for her. He knew what was in store for him in his marital front and he

wished to ingrain a character and personality in her, which she could grow even when he would

not be with her. He treated her like an empress and intentionally chose to associate her with only

those things and ideas, which were not mainstream and populist. He had a notion that many, who

chase populism, in turn get chased by psychosis. He wanted Melissa to develop a sense of

distaste for whatever was populist and mainstream in society so that when she would grow up,

she could remain shielded from the malaise of populism and related psychosis.

The inevitable somehow got delayed to his amazement and Melissa‟s mother finally divorced

him when Melissa had turned 12. She took her to USA, where her parents lived and where she

belonged. Melissa‟s dad was very satisfied. He had been successful in creating a subconscious

layer in his daughter‟s mind, which he knew should always be her first instinct, whenever she

would face any crises and conflict in her life. It already showed up. As Melissa left her dad‟s

home in London, she said nothing, silently observed her mother and father.

As she was about to leave, her father went down on his knees in front of her, held her hands and

kissed them softly and she remained rooted, showing no signs of unsettled emotions, like an

empress. Her father looked at her and said smiling, “Melissa, always remember your dad‟s

words. An empress is one who rules the people and is never ruled by them. People may be

unkind and bad to you or in general, as they are just common people. But, you are an empress. In

grief and joy, you have to be always above them, showing only forgiveness and compassion. An

empress is an empress because she receives her sustenance for goodness not from people; rather

it is within her soul. Always keep your soul in a special way, making it a mark for the people to

follow. Never allow it to do what people do as an empress is always special and rules over

people by being naturally above them.”

She kept looking at his face for a while, without blinking her eyelids, even while her mother

waiting for her in the car honked. She moved her right arm gradually, tapped her dad‟s left

shoulder gently and turned to walk towards the waiting car. After a few steps, she came back to

him and gently wrapped him with her white shawl. She pushed his chin up with her tender hands

and then finally walked away from him. He attempted in vain to hold back his tears of deep

assurance that his daughter shall always remain an empress, he wished her to be. Melissa showed

no tears. She gently waived at him as the car moved away.

The next 16 years, Melissa‟s dad could know little about her. Her mother ensured that she grew

up totally away from his influence. In the last three years however, he could know lot more about

her from the gossip magazines and tabloids.

Melissa‟s mother had never liked her dad pampering her like an empress. She made Melissa live

a common girl‟s life in USA and pushed her in to everything, which the popular culture lined up

for every teenager her age. Melissa never complained nor did she ever resist anything. However,

she could never be part of anything around her in the milieu. Melissa‟s mother would receive

complaints from her teachers about her exclusivity and non-assimilative behavior and attitude.

As she grew, she was labeled more as a maverick than a stupid dumb. She never was an

iconoclast but kept her exclusivity very much afloat in all aspects and areas of her life.

As Melissa‟s mother got fed up with her ways and gradually got busy in her career, Melissa and

her mother developed an easy relationship of peaceful non-interference in each other‟s life.

Later, when Melissa moved to another city for her studies in acting and movie making, both

shared their lives through sms and e-mails. Melissa made it a point to tell her if there was

something wrong with her. This was just out of her notion that she must be informed about her

troubles as it might have repercussions on her, she being her mother. Like an empress, she kept

most things to her. Deep inside her subconscious, her dad survived like a royal guard, who

always reminded her, “An empress is an empress because she receives her sustenance for

goodness not from people; rather it is within her soul”.

Probably, in the last three years, when she landed herself in the mainstream of celebrity business,

she lost touch with her original skin. The sudden spate of name, fame and huge money as well as

her self-worth in the mass-driven populist world of glitter and glamour probably made her drift

away from her instinctive fortress of exclusivity. It was in such state of indecisiveness that she

allowed a rush of people in her life and one of them was this billionaire young man. It was he

who sneaked into her life and in her drift, may be, she allowed him access to her house and later

in her life.

Melissa was always a slow person and as her dad had instilled in her a consciousness of an

empress; she excelled when she took things in a highly selective way and dealt it with royal

details of attention and purpose. However, after her second movie fetched her Oscars and she hit

the mega celebrity status overnight, it was surely far too much, she was prepared to handle in a

possible royal way. She gave in to this swarm of unsettling populism and for over a year, she

could feel, first time in her life, things happened to her and not the usual way, when she

consciously chose things and made them happen in her own royal ways.

She drifted and gradually, her royal guard inside her; her dad‟s consciousness, started to take a

backseat. Success made her mother come close to her and as her mother was a true icon of

populism, Melissa too started to get in touch with a culture of following all those benchmarks,

which populism lines up for every mega successful person. Thankfully, the billionaire man in her

life, on whom she had started to rely, chose to dump her and first time in her life, she did

something, which her dad had foreseen way back and had warned her against. She ceased to be

an empress on that fateful night when she took overdose of sleeping pills and behaved like a

populist icon. This did not kill her but her dad was happy to notice that the accident surely ended

a journey, which Melissa had dangerously embarked on, much against her character and

consciousness. Melissa was equally agitated over her act and had realized that she needed to

redeem herself and relocate her life to the road she had always taken in her life. She was quickly

back to her consciousness as an empress but her empire was still in trouble. She wanted a break

from everything that surrounded her and as her dad proposed a stay at a Yoga Ashram in India,

she liked the idea. She also knew, she needed to trust her dad more now. She had found her

again.

**

CHAPTER 5

Melissa sleeps till late in the morning. She is expected to be with Shiv for her daily sessions at

six in the morning but it is already seven when she wakes up by knock at her cottage doors. It is

Shiv asking whether she is fine. She looks at the watch, extends her apology to Shiv and asks

him to come in. He asks her to take her time to get fresh and ready, as he would wait outside. She

comes out of her bed and opens the doors for him. She insists Shiv to come in.

“Shiv, I am terribly sorry for being late. I slept late at night and forgot to put alarm on the clock.”

“I know. I understand. You do not need to be sorry. Your father had called me last night. I

anyway was going to tell you that you do need to take it easy. I believe, you should relax and not

trouble yourself with issues, which can be happily postponed. Important it is that you feel well

and in complete harmony with your consciousness. We can start when you are ready.”

“Thanks Shiv, I appreciate your patience with me. Are you busy? Can you sit with me for a

while?”

“Sure. I need to tell you that you are special for us here in this Ashram and you should always

keep it in your mind that if I and facilities here could be of any help to you, we all shall be too

happy.”

Melissa sits on her bed assessing what Shiv said, as he moves out and calls someone to bring the

morning tea for her. She asks herself, is he being especially kind and good to her or he is the way

he is? She finds no reason to distrust him and as her father wished her to trust him, she thinks,

she can take some initiatives with him.

“Shiv, can I ask you something personal”, Melissa asks him looking at the cup of tea, which he

offers her.

“Questions are always good if answers are accepted with innocence of mind consciousness”,

Shiv replies with a smile, which makes her relaxed.

“Are you what you are with me or are you being something out of your way to me just because

you said, I am a special guest here because of my dad?”

“I shall give you the honest answer but I request you that whatever shall come to your mind after

listening my answer, you shall tell me”.

Melissa nodded in affirmative.

“Most people are usually two persons within one body. They move between consciousnesses as

per their elements of nature and nurture. You can call these elements as instincts and culture.

Most of their lives, people behave and act in a way, which at one point of time is available for

decision to their minds – an autonomous mix of their nature and nurture. I have been very lucky

that I have been trained to be largely independent of both these elements. This enables me to

have a facility where neither instinct, nor my cultural elements decide my long-term conscious

behavior and acts. Rather, in my deep consciousness, I myself decide, what should ideally

present the decision-matrix for my mind. This enables me to have infinite shades of personalities.

Usually, I am a reclusive person but it has been my practice to be a mirror personality to the

person I interact with. That helps me reach the person and be of help and utility to him or her.

This neutrality, objectivity and plasticity of consciousness is a position of compassion, from

where one becomes a catalyst for wellness to others, even while retaining his or her own true self

deep inside.

“Shiv, If I ask you, can you be with me what you are in your usual way, I mean what is your true

nature and personality, is it wrong to ask?”

“No, it is not wrong. I told you, it is your choice, which matters to us. However, the issue at hand

is your benefit and utility. What I am is what suits me in my own worldview. It however may not

be what may benefit you. You are here for a short time and your father told us that you wish to

have a quiet and leisurely time here. It is therefore important that you decide what we can do or

what we should not, which could make your stay here more meaningful and beneficial for you.”

“Shiv, you say you are with me to help me get the most out of my stay here. You also said that

any question I ask would be right if I accept their answers with innocence. Well then, I assure

you that I shall accept all your answers with innocence and now I ask you to be with me what

you are in your true and natural consciousness.”

“Okay, I accept.”

“Well, now that you have accepted it I ask again, tell me how you attained this facility of being

the conscious decider of what should ideally present yourself with your decision-matrix at any

point of time in your life.”

Shiv smiles at her question. He could not see it coming this soon. He is rather happy that Melissa

picked that up so smartly. He however wishes to be sure.

“Melissa, are you sure you wish to ask this question because the answer cannot be simple and

short. You shall have to go into so many details about related issues then only you can reach to

the right answers. And, all throughout, you shall have to keep your innocence as well as faith

intact that you are heading to the right answers.”

“This is rather good for me. My dad thinks, there are so many things that I can learn here and he

believes you have loads of them. It is always good that one question can lead me to a wider field

of details and possible learning. I think, once you introduce me to different ideas, I shall have the

ease in picking up what you say shall be of utility for me. I really think, I have chosen the right

question”.

“It is good that you are confident of your question. However, this is only one small part of the

overall preparations for reception of answers. As I told you, learning comes natural and easy for

kids but for grownups, the toughest part is unlearning. You already have an established

worldview and the culture you have lived in and have been successful in, have ingrained deep in

your subconscious. Your subconscious mind already has loads of referrals, which automatically

comes up before your mind consciousness as primary decision-matrix for right and wrong. It

shall need huge amount of innocence and trust within you, which could help you override your

instinctive as well as cultural decision-matrix for the utility and fruition of any new answers and

learning. The stage where you rise above the elements of nature and nurture starts with initially

forced consciousness of innocence and faith. Later, it becomes an automatic and first instinct

after lots of practice, enabling smooth assimilation of new learning.”

It is long discourse for Melissa and as words queued up for entry into her mind, she keeps quite

for a while. She understands only a part of what Shiv said, still grappling with many words, he

said. He is closely watching her face and reads her well.

“Melissa, the first innocence is acceptance of the fact that mind is not omnipotent. It is a poor

processor of information it is fed from different sensors of body. You first need to consciously

put ahead your innocence like a kid and say with child-like simplicity that you did not

understand something. Your mind cannot process an input, which it does not already have in its

memory of experiences. You speak French to me and I won‟t even blink as my mind cannot

process it. Secondly, when you say you could not understand it, you need to have total faith in

yourself that you shall never take it as your ignorance. There is nothing called ignorance in this

universe. It is just that all minds receive something for the first time and then only it becomes

available for subsequent value summation.”

“Yes Shiv, you are right. I am beginning to understand that while I am with you, there shall be

many firsts for my little mind. Probably, dad is right as he told me that while in USA, I have

experienced only one side of the larger worldview. He said, I needed to be exposed to different

worldviews. Be sure, now on I shall always tell you if I do not understand anything. As you said,

I shall make a conscious effort to make my innocence upfront.”

“It is not that you do not know something. Everything is within us therefore, in true sense,

everything is available for you to know that I can ever know. The only difference is, both you

and me have a large piece of land full of diamonds. I was fortunate to have a mind training,

which enabled me to dig them out and bring them on surface. Your diamonds are there too, but

still beneath the land, which you can dig out, whenever you like.”

“Shiv, let me tell you this, not with innocence of a child but out of a woman‟s curiosity to make

this diamond metaphor a bit simpler for me. I want my diamonds. I know you may have plenty

of them but I can be happy with one large one”, she said smiling.

“You shall have plenty of them. Diamonds actually belong to women.”

“Then make this digging thing simple for me to understand.”

“This is the core trouble with all enterprises of life. There can never be one simple aspect of

anything. Things always are multidimensional and it takes a convergence of all these dimensions

at one point of time to create a utility. For example, everyone has a piece of land full of

diamonds, however, only that person shall begin to dig for it, who has the knowledge that

diamonds are precious. Otherwise, it is just a stone. If a farmer has this land who does not know

the worth of diamonds and is obsessed with fertility of his soil for cultivation, shall throw them

away along with other pebbles and weeds. Other farmer may have the knowledge of the worth of

diamonds but he may not have the knowledge that in nature, diamonds do not come as polished

and shining. He shall dig and even find them but still throw them away taking them as any other

useless stone. Another farmer may be knowledgeable of all these still, he may not have the

patience to dig deep and discern between real diamond and loads of other stones that may come

up during digging. He may stop digging mid-way. In digging wisdom, we all face such troubles.

It takes multidimensional elements of preparations and readiness, all being in one person at some

point of time, for the treasure of diamonds to become available.”

“At which stage of preparedness and readiness, you think I stand?”

“It is a difficult decision. You know the best. What I wish to tell you is, what is of utility and

benefit to someone in his or her life, is independent of the real and true worth they have. It is you

and me who create worth in anything. Then we pursue it and devote our lives in having them and

that too in plenty. A diamond does not have any worth on its own. It has worth for humans. A

monkey shall find it, taste it and then throw it away. For the monkey, an apple is million times

more worthy and precious that this hard, tasteless stone.”

“This means, our lives, whatever we all do with our lives and what we chase life-long, have

worth and value only to the extent, we assign them and believe in it?”

“Not even that. Most people do not even assign their own value and worth to what they do and

achieve in life. The contemporary culture, they are born in and brought up, usually decides the

benchmarks of utility and worth for all pursuits of their lives. The worth of diamond is a cultural

benchmark of utility. In the culture of all other living species of Earth, other than human, it is

almost worthless like any other stone. There is a worldview of all other species, other than

humans, where value and utility of all pursuits by all members of the species are decided by their

natural instincts, which ensures their survival. In humans, the instincts are also there and they

decide utility and value of human pursuits too. However, most of human pursuits are decided by

popular cultural benchmarks of utility and worth, which humans themselves create and keep

changing.”

“My dad always told me to keep away from populism. Probably, he wanted me to decide my

own benchmarks of utility and self-worth. You know Shiv, from childhood; he always called me

empress and expected me to present myself as one. I think, he also meant what you are telling me

now.”

“Melissa, most men and women live their lives and base their decision about right and wrong on

the basis of a mix of their nature and nurture – the instincts and culture. It looks like; their

consciousness is a function of an interaction of the two broad elements of instincts and culture.

However, this is only a small portion of the self – the larger consciousness. There are infinite

shades of one‟s consciousness, which one can decipher and it is like digging them from the land

of one‟s consciousness. This is a very difficult task. One has to completely unlearn the cultural

consciousness, which usually accounts for the bulk of one‟s popular consciousness. Then, one

has to assign completely new sets of values, utility and worth to all those natural instincts, which

usually make auto-decisions for us. Then only, the doors of multiple shades of higher

consciousnesses open up.”

“So, finally, we have come back to the same point. What I could understand is – there is a super

consciousness like realism, within us, which becomes largely independent of both instincts and

culture. This super consciousness of the self is the facility of being the conscious decider of what

should ideally present yourself with your decision-matrix of real and true utility and worth at any

point of time in your life.”

“You are almost there.”

“But Shiv, this still leaves my question unanswered. Now I truly wish to know how one can

reach to this stage of super consciousness.”

“It is really good that you keep faith with your question. However, from here, you shall need

both faith and courage of conviction to journey to the answer.”

“Why this courage element, are we moving to some dangerous territory?”

“Dangerous is the extreme word, yes, there is the element of uncertainties. I explain it to you and

it shall be completely on your discretion, whether you wish to take this mind journey or not.

From here, we shall have to enter a domain, where even science is not sure. Naturally, what we

shall deal with is the domain of philosophy. We have to deal with the question of consciousness,

about which even science still searches for answers. The ancient Indian philosophy offers

answers but not amenable to finality in a way science accepts. These philosophical ideas are very

much available for practical tests on realistic grounds, yet they are only self-evident, not

amenable to across the board evidences, which a scientific fact must have. As you are from a

culture where scientific evidences matter for very utility as well as finality of an idea, you shall

need the courage of conviction to travel faithfully with the new idea of self and life worth.”

“Hmmm… I understand. Is that all Shiv? Anything else, which I should be cautious of?”

“Yes, there is another aspect of this new learning, which needs larger courage. In search of this

super consciousness, which you wish to arrive at, you may confront a completely novel set of

realisms about consciousness and life. These realisms and their experiences can be destabilizing

for you initially as you shall not be used to it. They may even be in conflict and contradiction of

your existing cultural ideas and worldview. This can be destabilizing, as your current

consciousness shall have to battle with them. It is only very natural that when your decision-

matrix goes for a complete makeover, your consciousness shall stand in a domain of

uncertainties. Your subconscious mind shall prompt you to reject and run away from the new

ideas and inputs. It shall engender a sense of futility of enterprise in your conscious mind. Your

previous matrices may stand to lose ground and this shall instill a sense of loss and void within.

You shall need the courage of conviction to accept a new self, which shall grow within you,

standing to reject or renew your existing self, which you have evolved over long years and which

has been so dear to you.”

“Shiv, to be honest, I cannot understand much of what you say about the new experience, which

are lined up on road to the super consciousness. I cannot even perceive of the experiences, you

are cautioning me against. I cannot visualize them right now.”

“I understand that Melissa. There are so many experiences, which we have for the first time and

it is only our nature to be cautious of them. Once you visualize them, the initial fear goes away.

You must take time to think over what we have discussed today. We can talk about it next day.”

“You are right. Shiv, can I ask you, what your feelings were, when you started your journey on

the road to super consciousness thing. You too might have been unsure, cautious and timid.”

“I started when I was quite young and I was not given a choice. I had complete faith in my

teacher and I followed him, where he took me to. There was fear but not about the new

knowledge but about whether I shall be able to stand up to the expectation of my teacher or not.

A child does not usually have conflict in mind; he is led by faith in his superiors. Adult learning

however has loads of conflicts and less faith. One thing, I can now say is, knowledge is

unsettling and a trouble only when you are halfway through it. Complete knowledge is always of

larger utility and peace of mind. My teacher used to tell me, knowledge always tests the

eligibility of a person seeking it. Knowledge, like nature, tests the pursuer with all hardships and

trouble so that only those arrive to it, who are the best. It is like survival of the fittest. My teacher

used to tell me, the fittest for wisdom is one who only accepts optionalessness. Knowledge has to

be optionless in life, only then the journey to it becomes self-energized.”

“Shiv, you mean to say, it is only the journey to super consciousness, which is fraught with

uncertainties and unsettling feelings. Once I reach there, it will be gone. During the journey, I

have to keep full faith on you.”

“Melissa, it is not about you having faith in me. It is rather a misnomer. The faith you have to

have is on you that you can accept the optionlessness of wisdom with conviction. The faith you

need to have is on the idea that until you reach the destination, you shall not sit on the judgment

of the journeys and its pains and pleasures. You need to have faith on the ultimate utility of the

finality of the enterprise, which you shall launch, when you take the road to super

consciousness.”

Melissa looks confused. She is unable to put all the ideas in single linearity, which he presented.

She is not doubting Shiv anymore. However, she realizes that he is probably a bit reluctant as he

might be unsure of her abilities to understand what he can make her learn. Shiv is continuously

watching her face.

“Melissa, I am sorry, if I have burdened you with unnecessary ideas and issues. The whole idea

is to make you happier and in better peace and harmony with yourself. I hope you understand

that whatever I am doing, is for your wellness. I wish you to believe me that ignorance never

causes pain and trouble to people and others. It is always part knowledge and half-baked wisdom

of people, which lands them in major troubles. The troubles you see all around are not because of

seven billion people on this planet being ignorant. The trouble is, most of us are happily egoistic

about our half-truths and part knowledge. True knowledge and wisdom is always assimilative

and integrative. If we see conflicts and competitiveness all around, it is not because of ignorance

but because of the intelligence of people and their zeal about accepting them as only true

intelligence. That is why, you might be feeling that I wish you to be fully ready for accepting

wisdom in its holism or simply be happy with what you are. Wisdom is optional at the outset;

however it is optionless, once we enter its domain.”

“Shiv, I appreciate your views and I wish to assure you that I am not doubting you and your

words. You probably said it right. I need to have faith in myself. I probably doubt my own

readiness for the journey. May be, you are right when you say I need my courage of conviction.

May be I am not completely understanding whatever you wish me to understand. I will do what

you said. I shall work on my preparations first. I shall work to get myself ready.”

“Take your time and while you work it out, always believe that there is nothing alien about

anything new you learn and accept as wisdom. Because as, I said earlier you already have them

inside you. Wisdom is just a facility to decipher and discern, what is already within us. It is just

that, as you expand the horizon of your consciousness, new realisms get unraveled to you.

Wisdom does not create anything; it simply reveals them to us. Science also does not create

realisms; it only unravels them. Similar it is with philosophy and any new idea. Once they are

revealed, you shall find that everything unraveled to you is what you already felt you had but

now they express and present themselves in dimensions, which shall be novel and very

satisfying. There are wisdoms, which are self-evident; making them provable and replicable is

the domain of science.”

“Yes Shiv, I am beginning to get your ideas and words. I think, I can work it out.”

“Melissa, I think you already know it; still I remind you. An empress is an empress because her

superiority gets sustenance not from virtues people load on her, rather the virtues are all within

her soul. Virtues find expression in the consciousness of the empress and not in the people‟s

minds, she rules. You already have this consciousness of an empress. You just have to be natural

and stop resisting your soul. Just be the empress you are.”

Long after Shiv goes away, Melissa remains puzzled as how could Shiv say similar things, which

her dad kept telling her all the time, when she was a child. How could he also call her an empress

like her father? She keeps thinking about Shiv and his talks with her. Late in the day, when she

goes for a walk, she finds him playing with kids of the ashram. She suddenly thinks of her

father. A little girl is chasing Shiv and he runs around. He fakes a fall and the girl is ecstatic

catching him up. He picks her up and tosses her up in air and they both laugh uncontrollably.

Melissa keeps watching him. He looks to her so much like her dad. Suddenly, she feels Shiv was

right. She needs to be the empress of her dad. She has the courage and faith in her.

Back in her cottage, Melissa feels a sense of strength coming back to her. After the mishap in her

life a month back, first time, she felt at ease and composure to reflect on it. She had been

avoiding thoughts over what she did and how things happened after she was dumped by her

fiancé. She begins to think, she has to be the empress of her destiny. She shall have to redeem

her empress mode, as her dad trained her to be. She cannot be swayed by milieu and

circumstances like a common person. She remembers how she erred when she was dumped. Had

she been in the state of super consciousness like Shiv, she too could have been strong and poised

like what Shiv looks like. She resolves to be her dad‟s empress. She cannot anymore be a puppet

of populism. She shall brave all, and she starts to believe, Shiv is probably the right person to

help her redeem and reinvent herself. He is so much like her dad. The way he is patiently and

calmly taking her step by step to newer ideas, and detailing every aspect with openness, Melissa

feels, she can be with him as an innocent child, which he thinks is required for her new learning.

She even understands that Shiv has been successfully making her believe in herself and her

strengths. He never rushes in with his believe, never trying to impress upon her something which

she may not be comfortable with or feel odd about. She grows in confidence with him. She has

seen so many men in her life and most of them either put up pranks or faked to impress upon her

their egoistic attainments and superiority. Being in the celebrity business, Melissa has seen the

game of one-up-manship among men and women in its bare and crudest forms. Shiv is a pleasant

exception to this all. He treats her with so much respect and equality. In her celebrity life or

otherwise, she always met people, who treated her as a person with all her past baggage. Shiv

however always treated her with her present state of consciousness, never ever showing any

inquisitiveness about what she had been. For her, it was a pleasant change as there was someone,

who interacted with her as a person and not as a woman and celebrity. Still, he puts in so much

respect and care for her, even when he has known her for just two days. It was so much like her

dad who treated with so much respect and equality even when she was just a small kid. Her dad

also believed in her and her discretion, even when he detailed about all possible aspects of any

issue, for which she needed to take a decision. Her dad would always say, an empress must take

her own decisions and own it, whatever be the outcome. Melissa smiles at the commonality Shiv

has with her dad. He is also treating her like an empress, urging her to own her decisions. She

makes her decision. She shall also own it.

**

CHAPTER 6

Shiv finds Melissa ready and waiting for her when he goes to her cottage at six in the morning to

wake her up. He smiles at her and understands that she has made her mind to walk on the road to

new beginning. Her body posture exuded her confidence and her face lighted up with the

conviction of her resolved state of mind consciousness. Apparently, she was in a state of better

poise than she had been in last few days. She walks up to receive him.

“Shiv, I won‟t give you any reasons to complain from now on. I am now ready.”

“May the rising Sun bless you with light and warmth in your consciousness for you to embark on

a self-energized journey, which unravels novel and nourishing life experiences.”

“Thank you so much Shiv. Every morning with you is pushing me to something novel but today,

I feel, I am more with me in a state, which you have been telling me to be, a state of better poise

and harmony with myself. Can you tell me; is it because of this beautiful place, your soul-

searching words or something else?”

“Melissa, this is something like a magic, which works for all of us and we usually are so

oblivious of our own potential as the master magician. The magic is within you, nothing external

to you has any impact on you. It is like, you have unconsciously orchestrated a magical

symphony, are ecstatic to experience the music and then look for who played it for you!”

“Oh my God! Shiv, why should you always give me credit for everything nice, which happens to

me? What I have done? I am just what I am!”

“Come with me, let us walk to the place where we sat on the first day. I shall explain it to you,

while we walk. Melissa, the magic is what you have created and benefitted from. Our

consciousness is a strange entity. The entire scientific community is working to unravel the

mystery of the consciousness; how it is the way it is. Still, there are realisms, which are self-

evident and you can corroborate by experiencing it yourself. Deep within our consciousness are

the instinctive choices of flight and fight. Once your conscious mind decided that you have to

face it and fight it out, come what may, your entire body-mind mechanism spreads this resolve to

every cell. As we walk, you can smell the morning fragrances of flowers blossoming all around.

As the flowers bloom, the entire milieu simply becomes a facilitative catalyst to spread the

fragrance. Similarly, once your conscious mind blossoms your resolve that you are going to face

it with conviction, the neuro-electrical and neuro- chemical milieus within your body-mind

mechanism starts to spread the fragrance and every cell of your existence cam smell it. The

magic is ethereal. It expresses itself in settled and deep emotions of singular consciousness. You

created the magic and it spread to your being and now that every cell of your being sings and

dances with the joy of the magic, you feel the tangible freshness in your overall consciousness.”

“Shiv, you know, it is so amazing. You seem to already know what I can ask as I feel, you

always have your answers ready. Can I do the same? Can I be like you?”

“Melissa, I have already told you, you and I are same in potentials. You too have your diamonds

and they belong more to you than me. Always remember; call it God‟s design or evolution‟s

choice, the fact remains that the feminine elements in nature are always superior, as they happen

to be the energy behind all evolutions. You are at any point of time, far better positioned and

endowed for the reception of intangibles of life and the environments surrounding lives.”

“Shiv, as you have allowed me to say things with innocent honesty, I must say that this idea of

yours does not seem self-evident. This world has preponderance of male elements. Feminine

entities are still struggling for their rightful place.”

“Melissa, you are right in observing that. However, this is only a worldview of the contemporary

human culture, which is less than few thousand years old. Moreover, the space human culture

occupies in the colossus of the cosmic realisms is very miniscule. If you consider feminine

elements of the larger cosmos, not what you see around you in our relatively nascent global

society, the dominant influence of feminine elements is self-evident. Even in human society, it

has been accepted that women are the definitive stamp in shaping up evolution of cultures.

Above all, if you keep asking me questions with the same honesty and innocence, it shall surely

energize the evolution of more meaningful communication between us. This you can see as self-

evident and self-corroborative fact (Smiles).”

“Shiv, as you keep encouraging me to ask questions, I have one last question, before we sit down

and start my learning session. We have been talking with each other without you asking me

anything about my life and me. I also know nothing about you. Do you know anything about

me? Shall it facilitate my learning from you if I happen to know more about you?

“Melissa, there are so many cultural conventions, we all follow, which actually serves us in a

limited way, more in societal interactions. These are somehow more for convenience of

interaction, rather than deeper utility of meaningful communication. I go into a jungle, find a

river flowing with beautiful surroundings and I simply sit there and enjoy its serenity and

magnificence. The river and I do not even talk. May be she is not even registering my presence

but I am receiving the charming and stupendous expressions of her splendor. I do not enquire

about her whether she is descending from glaciers atop mountains or is just a seasonal stream,

emanating from rainwater storage as her source. We do not need to interact but we communicate

in a very fruitful way. Her personality infuses in me a rejuvenation, which needs no words.

However, when I have to drink water from the river, I shall need to enquire whether the water is

safe, pure and not with assimilated effluence. When I am communicating with you, we do not

need this particular utility. Our personalities are successfully doing it without name, address and

other cultural information. However, if I know more about you and you about me, there is no

harm but surely, it shall not be facilitative to what we are already doing well. This apart, I must

tell you Melissa that if you feel comfortable with the idea that we should know more about each

other, I surely shall be happy. Whatever makes you happy, I am with that.”

“Shiv, I assure you that I am a good river and very much drinkable,” Melissa says laughing.

Shiv stops and watches her laughing. He is happy for her. She really looks more beautiful than a

river full of water. He makes a decision in his mind.

“Melissa, suddenly a thought has come to my mind and I share it with you with utmost

innocence. If you don‟t like the idea, you should tell me frankly.”

“Sure Shiv, I am a river now and I shall flow my own way. You have no choice now!”

“Since you came here, you have not moved out. There is a big and very beautiful river named

Ganges, just ten minutes drive from the Ashram. I think, you would like sitting on the banks of

the river. It is early morning and there will not be many people. I have a motorbike and if you

like, we can go there. And if you like, you can tell me about you on the river bank. There is

nothing that you would like to know about me. I am just a simple yogi.”

“I accept the idea but with a small change. You shall tell me about you when you sit on the

riverbank. I know, you like rivers and Ganges shall make you speak, okay?”

“I accept.”

There is probably no better positioning of wellness and deep-seated joy than a man pampering

and showering affection on a woman like a child and the woman being in total reception of the

assurance of her man muffling her in paternal coverage. Melissa drops her celebrity guard and

woman parentheses. The overbearing aura of warmth and care of Shiv‟s persona makes the little

girl in Melissa come out in the golden sunshine. The elemental platform of riverside; Himalayan

hills standing close by as sentinels, invites Melissa to come out of her castle of kingdom and

paint the landscape with colors of her heart.

The chemistry of cathartic charisma between the male and female elements of the cosmos has a

strange juxtaposition. When the male elements engender the symmetry and supposition of

sincere canvas of situationality, the female elements sense the fertility of fruition and unleash the

colors of life to paint the picture of perfection. The template this symbiosis of male-female

elements engender, lines up the cosmic energies to fill in all utilities and finality of fruition. The

best and mystically stunning part of all this is that at the point of symmetry of this symbiosis, the

karma of consciousness melts away, as the process is self-energized. Nothing remains the

„subject‟ of action; nothing stands as „actionable‟ as the fusion of male-female elements itself

become the „almighty‟.

Melissa unleashes herself and Shiv is always there encouraging to stretch her wings. The

riverbank, Shiv takes her to, is slightly away from the township and early morning, no one is

there. Shiv holds her hand and takes her into river. She looks in the eyes of Shiv. She can trust

him. He asks her to take small and slow steps. A few meters inside the river, there is a large

boulder and he makes her sit on top of it. The gushing water is making loud sound and morning

breeze is adding its music to the symphony. Shiv joins his palms to scoop river water and offers

it to Melissa. She holds out her right hand and Shiv empties it on them. Shiv asks her to sprinkle

the water on her. She obeys like a little girl. Shiv tells her that this has a symbolic significance as

people come to river and sprinkle its water on them to make a new start in their lives by

purifying themselves of past wrongs. It is a ritual to resolve a new and better beginning in life

after washing their souls of the ills they might have unconsciously or consciously done in the

past. Melissa is thrilled by the idea and asks her to do the ritual one more time, as she too would

repeat the same resolve. She wants a new improved beginning of her life. Shiv does it and after

she is finished with her ritual, he too sprinkles some water on her. Melissa closes her eyes in

reception of his blessings.

Shiv asks her to step down atop the boulder so that he could take her to the tea stall. It is nippy

midstream and he is concerned that Melissa might catch cold. She does not wish to budge but

Shiv keeps his hands extended to her. Carefully, he takes her out of the waters and leads her to

the teashop.

Shiv takes her to the outskirts of town. The shops have started to open up and Melissa could not

resist a look. Melissa loves the beads, things made of wood, saffron dresses and above all the

small handicrafts made of metal. She rues she has not taken money with her. Shiv assures her

that he has the money and she can buy anything she wants. She accepts his moneys as if it were

his dad‟s. She buys loads of metal rings, earrings, bands, beads and wood items like a child. A

strange idol catches attention of Melissa and she enquires about it from Shiv. He tells her that it

is Ganesha, the Hindu God of Intelligence and wellness. She likes the small thumb sized idol of

Ganesha and asks Shiv can she buy it. She knows he never says no.

Shiv offers to buy a white salwar kurta, the traditional Indian dress and she tells him with an

innocent face that she likes all of them on the display. She also wants one of saffron color with

silver embroideries all over. Shiv never says no. He asks the shop owner to take measure of

Melissa and ensure that what she buys could fit her size. He moves on to other shop to buy a

large bag to carry everything she is buying. Melissa meanwhile grabs everything that fits her

size. She asks for their prices and then calculates their value in dollar terms. It is still just a few

dollars.

Shiv finally takes her to a small eatery on the roadside where she tastes traditional Indian

breakfast of poori sabzi and jalebee. She watches with curiosity a man with huge pot like belly

rolling a small flour ball into round shape and then deep-frying it in a large cauldron. It pops up

like a round ball. Most amazing was the way he waved his hands to weave a complex twist of his

wrist, putting in white syrup like thing from a pouch into oil and then dipping the fried twisted

shape into thick sugar syrup. The hot red curry, with which she eats the poori, served in a plate

made of fresh green leaves, lights up her face. The jalebees are so sweet and juicy, Melissa wants

more but Shiv asks her to stop as he fears she is not used to such spicy food. Melissa ignores

Shiv and goes to the big-belly man asking for more. She wants to learn how to make the

jalebees. The man hands over the pouch and offers her to try her hands at making the jalebees.

She pours in a scary shape in the oil and the man serves it to her after dipping it in the sugar

syrup. She tastes it and proudly offers a bite to Shiv. He gives her a big thumbs-up.

Back in the Ashram, Melissa dumps herself on the chair of her cottage, breathing heavily in

excitement, while Shiv arranges her buys on the corner table. As Shiv leaves her cottage, she

rises up and grabs his arm to stop him. Shiv turns back to look at her happy face.

“Shiv, thank you so much for this experience. You have given me so much and I want to ask for

more. Can I ask you to be my friend? Is it wrong to ask?”

Shiv smiles and says in mock bewilderment, “If I am not your friend, how can I eat such a

daunting jalebee you made and still smile in appreciation? Can anyone, who is not a friend, do

that?”

“Shiv, you are such a bad man”, Melissa replies in mock anger.

“Yes Melissa, now you know you have made a terrible friend”, Shiv says smiling, as he walks

away from her.

Melissa is very happy. She now knows, Shiv was saying it right when he said, there were so

many cultural conventions, we all followed, which actually served us in a limited way. Even

when she spent hours with him, she never felt the need to ask anything about Shiv‟s life and past.

And now, she has made him her good friend, knowing nothing about him. Shiv was right, she

accepts, you do not ask the name, address and other facts to a river or a mountain. Melissa

remembers her moments when she was sitting on the boulder midstream the Ganges. She

visualizes herself as the river and Shiv as the tall Himalayan mountains surrounding the river.

The female-male elements are beginning to find its symbiotic symmetry. She is oblivious of the

alchemy of cosmic charisma. The river, which sources its flow from the mountain top glaciers, is

perennial and creator of civilizations. The river-mountain symbiosis is cosmic chemistry.

Elements just line up in reverence of the energy of this alchemy.

**

CHAPTER 7

Late night, Melissa gets a phone call from her dad, which makes her concerned. The evening

tabloids in London carried a picture of Melissa making Indian sweet at a shop on their front

page. The picture was credited to an international news agency. Her dad cautioned her that as the

picture caption identified the place as Rishikesh, the paparazzi might soon find her and trouble

her peace.

Melissa becomes nervous. Now that the media knows where she is, within a day they will get to

find about her stay in the ashram. She has been so happy with her peaceful stay here. She fears,

the media would create unpalatable stories about her stay in a yoga ashram. A month back, she

had enough of it when media speculations made a circus out of her plight. She is not sure, how to

handle this situation. She decides, she will wake up Shiv, tell him everything about her past and

the latest developments. She is confident Shiv will help her.

“Shiv, I am sorry, I troubled you with all this but I had to”, she says after briefing him about

everything about her life and the mishap in her life.

“Melissa, it is me who should say sorry to you. I took you to the town and this trouble for you

happened because of me.”

“No Shiv, it is not your fault. It is my trouble and I have created every bit of it.”

“What do you want now? I mean, why you seem so nervous about media knowing where you are

and what you are doing.”

“Shiv, you don‟t know them. They are so intrusive. They shall follow me everywhere and take

my pictures. It becomes impossible for you to breathe when they chase you like a prey.”

“You are right Melissa, I have never faced them in my life so I cannot even imagine. I have only

read about them. However, my point is, you are here in our ashram and having peaceful time

with yourself; it is not something wrong or weird. Everyone has the right to go anywhere and do

whatever one likes. So, you can call a press conference here, allow the media to take pictures and

tell them that you are here to spend some peaceful time and they should respect your privacy.”

“Shiv, you cannot understand all these celebrity business and gossip news hunt. Nobody is

interested in what I say. They are not like you Shiv. They do not sit near a river asking nothing.

They jump into the river, stomp every inch of it, drain every drop of water out of it and then dig

into the dry riverbed to find gossip materials. People do not accept celebrities as anyone. They do

not associate anything normal and regular with them. That is why gossips about celebrities are

read and believed more than their own words. I have travelled thousands of kilometers to run

away from them. I cannot just give up.”

“Melissa, if you are sure, you do not want them, then, there is only one solution to this trouble.”

“No Shiv, please. I do not want this solution. I do not wish to run away from here. I have found

my precious peace and poise here. I feel rejuvenated here. I have just found you as my good

friend. I still have to learn a lot from you. How can I run away from this place?”

“Okay Melissa, if you do not want this option, you have to consider a way out, which shall need

your courage, trust on me and permission from your father. I tell you the option; you think about

it calmly, share it with your father and seek his opinion.”

Melissa looks at him expectantly. She desperately wants to get out of this situation.

“Melissa, suppose, there is a magic, which transports you and me to a place, which is even better

than this ashram and where nobody can trouble you, I think you should be happy. I can assure

you, this new place is many times more beautiful, serene, splendid lap of nature and people

around will be few and simple like rivers. There you will have the perfect peace and poise to

continue your rejuvenation and learning.”

“Shiv, unleash the magic right now and take me to the place.”

“Melissa, you cannot hurry with your decision. You have to ask for your father‟s permission. I

shall have to seek permission from Acharya. Your mother too needs to be informed. The local

police official comes daily to enquire about you as Embassy people have instructed him for daily

reports about your well-being here. We cannot just move away. You just need to trust me. We

can manage the whole situation very well. I own the responsibility of this trouble and believe me,

I can manage it all.”

Melissa watches Shiv in admiration as he briefs her about a place 150 kilometers north of

Rishikesh town, where there is a small village in the lap of a beautiful valley. This is the paternal

village of Acharya and he has a small wooden house there. The village is not in the tourist map

and the village has only around 25 houses. He tells her that in Acharya’s house, his brother‟s

family of four lives in the ground floor and the upper floor is kept locked for Acharya, who visits

once every year in summers. He assures her that she would feel safe and secure with the family,

who will take good care of her. He tells her that he would live in another household. The district

town is only 25 kilometers away and she can visit it whenever she has to call her family, mail

them or buy anything. Only Acharya will have the information about this, so she can stay there

till she likes.

Melissa nods like a little girl, carefully listening to him and feeling so relaxed. Inside, she is so

happy to find that Shiv is taking extra care to convince her that she shall be safe in the new place

and there shall be good and simple people taking care of all her comforts. She can feel that Shiv

wants to ensure that she has every small information and support to make her confident about

taking her decision to move away from the place. She wants to tell Shiv that she does not need

them as she has total confidence and faith in him. She wants to tell him that a woman can sense

the evil in a man within seconds and she is now sure, her new friend is as reliable as her family.

However, as she is relaxed now and very confident that she has come out of the trouble, she

decides to tease him a bit. The woman in her comes forward and plays pranks with the man she

has found the trust in.

“Shiv, you know, I have an afterthought. These media people are also humans, and they do it for

their living. I cannot deny them their precious livelihood. I think; I should give them some nice

and racy gossips. If I escape from this place without telling anybody, riding on your motorbike

right now, this shall become great news for paparazzi, when they shall arrive here, looking for

me. There will be headlines in tabloids and newspapers all over – Hollywood star runs away with

a Yogi! This shall be good feedstock for series of wild gossips for at least a week. After all, the

paparazzi will have to spend so much money coming here looking for stuffs and I am a celebrity,

I have a responsibility towards them!”

Shiv smiles and looks at her affectionately. He is happy that Melissa is now relaxed and in good

mood. It is time he paid her back for her innocence and trust she showed on him. He moves close

to her, grabs her hands and gently drags her towards the door.

“Madam Celebrity, in 34 years of my life, I have never been to jail and it would not be a great

headline when the same tabloids will say – Yogi hauled and jailed for kidnapping Hollywood

star.”

“What a brilliant idea Shiv! This is even better! Now I really want to run away with you right

away. You do not understand Shiv, you will become a celebrity yogi, once you land in prison. It

is all the more better for me because the paparazzi would then chase you and I shall live in

lasting peace!”

Shiv affectionately pulls her out of his room, even as Melissa keeps dragging her feet back and

keeps teasing him about how it is good for both of them to run away without telling anyone. Shiv

takes her to her cottage and makes her call her father first; who agrees to the plan as if he was

actually waiting for it. Her mother gets irritated by the news and asks her to take whatever steps,

which could keep the media from gossips as it would be trouble for her political career. She is

confident that as Melissa‟s father has okayed the plan, it would be safe for her. Shiv then takes

her to the bed, switches off the lights and turns towards the door.

“Do not rise early, sleep well. We shall move late in the day.”

„Shiv, can I ask you a question?”

“Melissa, the journey tomorrow will take seven hours and you can ask as many questions as you

want then. You must sleep now. You need lots of rest for…”

“Are you taking all these troubles for me and helping me out just because my father has been a

benefactor to this ashram”, Melissa interrupts him.

“Melissa, the answer is there but it may not be available now. Keep the question alive and I

promise, you shall get the right answer later. Meanwhile, you can accept a smart answer, which

is – it is a friend paying his friend back because she manufactured the most amazing jalebee in

the world for him.”

“Shiv, you are such a bad friend”, she says in mock anger. “You too keep this threat alive that

someday, I shall runaway with you and land you in prison. And then I shall visit you in jail

everyday with more amazing jalebees, which I shall make especially for you.”

“Madam Celebrity, I never have any doubts about your genius.”

“Shiv, I am hungry, I want poori sabzi and jalebees now”, Melissa persists with her teasing

mood. She is in no mood to let Shiv slip away.

“Close your eyes and you shall find plenty of them in your dreams. Good night!”

Shiv shuts the door of her cottage behind him.

Melissa sleeps minutes after he leaves. A woman assured of wellness has no place for dreams in

her sleep. Melissa sleeps like a kid. Shiv however does not.

Shiv is slightly concerned. The day with Melissa and the way she presented herself with him

makes him think of everything. There is an instinctive design in everyone. It works and the

mechanism does not usually manifest it to the person as most things are happening in the

subconscious. It is like, the food one eats continues to go through different stages of body‟s

metabolism but the person cannot tell which stage the food has reached in the long tracts.

It is nature‟s design of selection of inevitable. A woman teases a man if she finds him worthy of

her selection for proximity, affection and intimacy. It seems like an instinctive mechanism,

which unconsciously a woman does to ensure the suitability and utility of a man as her possible

selection. This mechanism seems to test the selection in twin ways. First, it works on a

supposition that a man, who is reciprocally interested in the woman, alone can match symbiotic

and symmetrical emotions to the teases of the woman. Secondly, it tests the essential and

ingrained character of the man as a reliable selection. If he has the patience, sincerity and

personality resources to emerge winner from the tests of teases from the woman, she shall sense

it like a powerful aroma. It is very usual for a woman stretching her mannerisms and action-

behavior to unbelievable limits of extreme teases to test the finality of selection.

Shiv is concerned because Melissa had initiated this instinctive mechanism towards him and she

was so innocently oblivious of it. As Shiv reciprocated to her teases and pranks, she

unconsciously upgraded the scale of her innate mechanism. Shiv understands that he is happiest

making her happy and smile but he was doing it for something, which he cannot tell it to her. He

could never think of doing anything, which could make Melissa feel bad and unsettled. He is

working towards making Melissa a person, which could land herself in real joys and real

happiness of life. However, what Melissa is leading to, is not what he has the brief for.

Shiv goes to his room and makes the important call. He speaks on the phone in calm but in a

serious tone. Something the person from other side of the phone tells him and he smiles and

looks relaxed. He makes another call and asks for something. He waits for ten minutes for the

return call. The phone call makes him laugh and he thanks the person from other side of the

phone profusely. He looks at the wall clock and it is three o‟ clock. He takes out his small mat

and sits in meditation. In two hours, he will have to move out and prepare for day‟s journey with

Melissa. He must see and brief Acharya about the developments before he starts his routine of

meditation and prayers at five.

**

CHAPTER 8

Melissa instantly falls in love with the new place. The place is too good to be real. As it is in a

painting, every element of the landscape looks markedly accentuated. Melissa has never been

such close to raw and wild nature at its sharpest and best. She jokes to Shiv that it seems she has

died and come to heaven with him. Shiv has been a regular here. He belongs to this place.

The village, situated on a small stretch of almost flat land, where around 25 small wood and

stone houses stood, is a narrow valley. All houses are lined up laterally, close along the steeply

rising mountain, which protects them against chilly winds in winters, when snow covers the

village. All houses face downwards, where a spiral of cultivated land descends down. The

villagers do the terrace farming in these lands. On the right end of village, jungles start and

inside the jungle, a river stream descends down with huge force from mountaintop. Melissa can

easily listen to the musical sound of waterfall nearby. The sky above looks like a small blue

umbrella as grey mountains surrounded the horizon from all sides. After somehow warm and

slightly humid climes of Rishikesh, Melissa particularly likes the dry and pleasantly cold milieu

of the village. The traditional welcome rituals of the villagers thrill Melissa.

She however is slightly irritated as since she arrived here, Shiv seems to have left her and is busy

mingling with villagers. He disappears for good two hours and Melissa is anxiously waiting for

him in her room. Finally, he arrives after it is dark.

“Melissa, I must say sorry to you. I should have been with you but I could not avoid the

villagers. I know you must be angry with me and you should be. You know Melissa, I was born

here; these people know me since my childhood. My parents died in cloud burst, when I was just

four years old. I too was washed away in flash floods and Acharya saved my life. Since then, he

has taken care of me as his own child. These villagers are always thrilled beyond expectation

when I visit them once a year with Acharya. As I have come here way ahead of my regular

scheduled visit, they are all so excited and I cannot avoid them. They all are like my big family.

They are so loving and as nobody is alive in my family; they all accept me as their own family

member. And all of them have so many questions to ask.

“Oh God, Shiv, it is your village? You were born here. That is why you are so beautiful and so

amazing like the place. You are so lucky. And where is your house where your parents lived? I

want to see the place.”

“Melissa, this place is very symbolic of life, as it unravels for all of us. This place looks so

beautiful, like life seems to us initially. However, this place has a history of untold miseries and

mishaps. Almost every family here has lost one or two members the way I lost my parents. It is a

hard life for all of them here. The soil is poor and wild animals often destroy their meager crops.

They survive on herbs they all collect from the jungle and sell it to a cooperative in the district

town. It is risky when they venture deep into the forests for herbs, as wild animals in jungle often

attack them. The winters are very harsh and they remain cut off from rest of the world almost

eight months of the year. Their best friends are the cattle and sheep but it is tough to keep them

in good health. Still, they survive and remain happier than most in the world because they are all

one big family, always united and supportive to each other. They sing and dance; and show it to

the harshness of life that men and women can be happy, if there is love and compassion in their

lives. I come here every year just to learn from them and life here. I am truly indebted that I

belong to them.”

“Shiv, you are right. I am also like this village and everyone else, who accept me as a celebrity,

are like occasional visitors, rank outsiders like me. They do not know the miseries and troubles

of the girl who lives in the garb of the celebrity. Shiv, the only difference is, this village still

dances and sings, braves it all and lives happily. I also sing and dance but I am mot as brave as

these people are. I am not happy the way they are. Probably, I am not as simple, beautiful and

full of vitality like them. But Shiv, I know, you can and you do see a stupid girl in me. I want to

be like you, like your people. I want to be brave and beautiful like them. I know, you understand

what it takes to be like that. You have gone through the life. And I also know, you are now my

beautiful friend. You shall make me like you. You can lead me to the knowledge and

experiences, which shall enable me to imbibe all this. May be, it will be tough for me. May be I

am not good enough to be like you and your people but I know Shiv; you have the patience and

compassion to stay with me as my teacher and friend.”

“Melissa, never ever repeat what you have said now. You are many times more able, endowed

and empowered than me and we all here. As I told you earlier, you have your diamonds within

you and they truly belong to you. You just have to dig them out. The people here look happier,

simple and more beautiful but it is what they have to be in their natural disposition. They have no

option. They are lucky not to be exposed to the evils and distractions of life. You are far superior

to all of us as you have braved the most complicated and conflicted social and economic

environments on the planet and still retain the innocence. You think I am better than you but put

me to the rigors of celebrity life for a day and I shall definitely lose my wellness and goodness

within a day. You have been into it for years and still you have the innocence and simplicity to

appreciate the pains of others and value of alternative worldviews. It is very tough. I know, it is

what only a woman can do, as she is the empress of the elements, which make this cosmos. The

beauty, you see in these people are situational and not cultivated in adverse situations and

milieus. You are far more beautiful as yours is painfully cultivated and meticulously persevered

even in the worst of milieus. Melissa, the credit must go to your dad as he sowed in you the seeds

of an empress. You are truly a magnanimous and brilliant empress, who has the affection and

compassion for people, even when they have not been particularly kind to you.”

“Shiv, don‟t pamper me like dad. I know I am a stupid but now I am better off as I have a friend

in you who shall take me where I must belong. I do not belong where I am. I need to learn from

you what is this place in life I must belong.”

“Madam Celebrity, this small place called Hollywood is not where you belong and it surely has

not made you a celebrity. You are a real celebrity beyond these petty limits. You just being a

simple, innocent and stupidly beautiful girl, land yourself to be the ultimate celebrity of the

universe. The trouble is, you just do not know your true potential. You know, what made you

come here. It is not your Hollywood celebrity status but your stupid innocence. When you were

making this amazing jalebee in front of the shop, a stringer photojournalist of an international

new agency was passing by. He did not even recognize you, as he has never seen a Hollywood

movie in his life. He took the snap as he thought a beautiful and innocent girl, who looked like

an empress, was making this silly jalebee in a small dingy sweet shop. He simply sent the

pictures to his bosses at New Delhi office with a caption – a beautiful foreigner learning artistry

of Indian sweet making. The bosses at Delhi headquarters recognized you and flashed it globally,

within seconds. So, little empress, you are a born celebrity. Whatever you do, it will become a

celebration for all lesser mortals like me; even when you make the most terrible jalebee in the

world. Do you understand, what your stupid friend is telling you?”

“Shiv! How could you know that? Oh my God, I am such a huge trouble for myself! You see

Shiv, how stupid I am; I always create trouble for myself and then run away from it like a kid.

But be sure, I am not running away from this place. But Shiv, this jalebee, I want to have more. I

promise, I won‟t make them before I learn to make them well.”

“Melissa, have you ever heard a story of an empress or princess, who has not landed herself in

trouble. It is only natural for an empress to be in perpetual trouble. A lesser mortal like me has to

handle his ten cents but an empress has to handle her huge empire. It is only natural that your

troubles shall be bigger.”

“Shiv, stop calling me an empress! I do not want to be one. I want to be like common people,

with their little pains and little joys. I am more than willing to exchange the empire of the

empress with the joys of the jalebee girl. As you said, even when I am doing a silly thing like

making a jalebee, I am a celebrity. Better it is that I stay as your stupid jalebee girl than a

Hollywood celebrity.

“But Melissa, you made such a terrible jalebee, you shall have to toil hard to learn the art”, Shiv

teases her.

“Mr. Yogi, I did not get the Oscars for my first movie. This time, you bet I can hit it right. You

do not know my potential. I shall learn it here and then shall open a jalebee shop in busy New

York streets. I am bound to be a mega hit as a jalebee girl!”

Late till mid-night, Melissa talks with Shiv, even when he keeps asking her to go to sleep. She is

not tired, rather feeling so much energy within, in company of Shiv. A little girl in her has found

her pampering and very compassionate father in Shiv, after a long gap. She talked like a little

girl, revealing to Shiv all her deep feelings about everything she faced in her life and how she

always battled with loneliness all her life. She asks many questions to Shiv and like a patient

father, he calmly and elaborately answered her. Shiv finally convinces her that they shall talk

every night after dark, as there shall not be anything else they could do after sun sets. In daytime,

he promises her that he would take her to places and show her the world he grew up in. She is

happy, as she trusts; Shiv always does what he says. She sleeps like a small kid.

In the next seven days, she spends in the village; Shiv ensures that she is taken to all such

locations, where nature stands in such colossal form and disposition that it completely engulfs

the sense of existence of a person. He takes her to jungle where the waterfall descended on

ground with immense force. He makes her sit on a large stone facing the mighty waterfall and

asks her to close her eyes in meditation. Melissa is reluctant as fatal fear grips her. He grabs Shiv

like a baby and does not want to let him leave her in meditation. Shiv patiently assures her and

slowly, she starts to sit in meditation. Shiv sits just behind her and keeps assuring in sedate voice

that she should keep telling her deep consciousness, while her eyes are closed that she cannot be

intimidated by anything. He makes her resist her fears. He keeps his hands on her head, gently

tapping her hair to assure her of his presence. She gradually starts the process Shiv wants her to

go deep into.

After continuous practice, she shall feel the poise within. The fear shall dissipate and she will

lose her talks with her conscious self. The roar of the waterfall shall turn into a soothing music

and she will begin to feel a void inside, which is the vacuum, where consciousness leaves the

body-mind observance and assimilates with the cosmic vacuum. It is the moment, all layers of

consciousnesses fall in linearity and the unity of self readies the being to take the journey to a

stage which in Yogic philosophy refers to as „kaivalya (absolute only-ness)‟, where a person is

with one ultimate consciousness and in perfect aloneness with it – the higher consciousness.

Melissa also feels the change in her every day. She has almost perfected her timing to be in

perfect synchrony with changing roles of Shiv vis-à-vis her in a single day. Her day starts with

Shiv being in her teachers role, making her bear pain to stretch her for the yoga asanas, Shiv

makes her do. When he is the teacher, he is insistent and unwavering. Melissa has learnt to

respect his roles. She stretches her efforts to perfect the yogasnas. Later in the day, when Shiv

takes her to places and tells her about different aspects of life and other learning, he is very

friendly and she knows, she can take liberty with him. And after the Sun sets and they talk in her

room, she is the pampered kid and Shiv has to run for cover like an exhausted father.

Within a week, Melissa discovers two very distinct developments in her personality and she

writes about them in her dairy. Usually, whatever she feels, she tells it to Shiv but this she

chooses not to tell him and instead, write in her diary.

She writes:

Every day, there are so many new things I am seeing, observing, experiencing and learning that I

am really not sure, which one feeling I can say I like best. Today, as Shiv has gone to town to

fetch things for tomorrow‟s feast, he has planned for the villagers, I have the time and I thought

about it for hours. Definitely, I can say that two things, which I have learnt here, are amazing and

I am truly happy that it came my way. Surely, I need to master them.

I can say that first attainment for me has been that now I am far more comfortable with myself. It

is Shiv‟s personality, which made me understand this simple thing. He performs so many roles in

a day. He is a great cook, a yoga expert, a great teacher of life, a truly beautiful friend, a hugely

family man and favorite of all kids. He sings so well with village women and knows almost

everything about farming. Still, in all his roles, he remains his true self, never ever drifting under

the influence of the action-behavior of the role. Anything he does has a strong stamp of his core

personality of detached affection and compassion. This I learnt from him and he made me

decipher the whole mechanism about it. I was never the same while I multi-tasked myself. I can

clearly remember and now I have no qualms in admitting that while I was a daughter, an actress,

a celebrity, a friend, girl at home, etc, I was completely different persons. Honestly, at times, I

overlapped it all. I got into the skin of every role I performed. This was like, I was assaying

different characters in a movie, even while I was in real life. There was me in everything I did

but there was not a singular and central me in anyone of them. I was in a perpetual drift of

consciousness, faking my being, in all of these, without ever being sure; what of these different

me was the real and true me. Now I know, this made me fear things. How stupid I feel of myself

remembering how I buckled under an unknown fear and anger when my fiancé dumped me. How

nervous I felt when the paparazzi were behind me. How low and frustrated I felt when all my so-

called friends and well-wishers took to media to fuel horrendous gossips about my life and my

personality. Now I know, I feared them all and ran away from them because I was not sure who I

was. I accepted myself as people around made me label myself. And this I did against my

childhood training, which my dad so carefully instilled in me. He made me the empress and

made me be sure not to bow to the populism and social benchmarking of success and failures.

Shiv redeemed me. He is so much like dad. With him and in this amazingly beautiful place, I

have deciphered my real and true consciousness. Now, I am ready and willing to face anything in

my life. I am not afraid of the paparazzi. I am not running away anymore. I am very comfortable

with myself. Shiv has made me confident of my innocence and honesty. I know, I am still not as

affectionate and compassionate as he is, but he tells me that my innocence and honesty shall

make me arrive where he is. I trust him.

I have learnt from Shiv, how still to be you, even when you perform all possible roles and tasks

of life. Everything you do, may want you to be in different moulds of your personality, still,

there should always be a strong stamp of your core and singular consciousness in all of them.

Shiv is gearing me towards a consciousness, detached from the elements of milieus within and

outside me, but I am not at it. I feel, even deep within, where I am supposed to be in unity with

my singular consciousness, I cannot feel detached to Shiv. I feel him being around me

everywhere. And I want it this way. I have become so used to his fragrance around me. I am

happy he is there in my consciousness. This is so catalytic for me. I have not grown in this new

wisdom like Shiv. I am still a little girl and I need him around. He is such a beautiful friend. I

still have to go miles in this new journey and I need a compassionate teacher like him.

The second thing I learnt from Shiv is something so amazing. I had never realized that you are

the happiest when you are perfectly lonely deep within. For years, I battled with loneliness and

found it a burden on my soul. Here, with Shiv, I realized why my dad always wanted me to keep

away from populism and cultural benchmarks. I now realize why he called me an empress. Shiv

also calls me an empress. I realized, being an empress is not about external attainments of

kingdom, name, fame and moneys. It is about a consciousness position, where one is content,

confident and consistently in reception of one‟s treasures within. The difference is so subtle and

intangible. When I was in celebrity mode, I was onto overdrive of action and reaction. There was

so much of attainment to achieve and so much attainment to defend. All the time, there was an

empress, who in her subconscious mind worked overtime for external attainments of kingdom,

name, fame and utilities. The subconscious was busy in action-reaction overdrive. However, my

conscious mind wished for peace and leisure. The conflict created split consciousnesses. That is

why, whenever I was alone, I felt uneasy and unsettled. How could I enjoy peace and leisure of

loneliness, when inside, the grind was on, working intangibly for the fear of the empire I was

presiding over. The grind of action-reaction never left me alone and that is why, even when I

should have been happy and at peace with my leisure, I felt unsettled and nervous. I can now

understand why people all over the world fear loneliness most.

I am still an empress but now I am in singular consciousness of reception of self; very much

happy with my attainments deep within. I know, my empire is my deep consciousness and my

real attainments, my real diamonds as Shiv says, are my innocence, my simplicity and honesty,

my affectionate and compassionate self. This I have to grow but whatever I have within me, it is

going to remain there for good. I do not have to be in overdrive of action-reaction to defend it

and sustain it. I now enjoy my loneliness. Shiv makes me sit in meditation. Or even with my eyes

open at a place for hours. I have learnt to be in absolute reception of tangible and intangible

elements around me. When you are in this state of consciousness, everything talks to you. The

mind is not acting or reacting to milieus and elements around you but simply imbibes them. I sit

on the top layer of the deep terrace farms, for hours all alone and I truly enjoy my peace and

leisure.

Shiv taught me a very interesting idea. He is a great cook and every day, he makes something for

his people in the large kitchen of the house I stay. He always takes me along and I am so thrilled

learning all these lovely local dishes. I asked him once, didn‟t he feel bored and tired of cooking,

which most men and even women consider drudgery. He revealed to me a great truth. He said,

when you did something all alone, you felt bored and accepted it as drudgery. If you have a

company, the same work becomes a festival and joy. Shiv told me, he was never alone as he

always had the intangible company of affection and compassion for the people and of the people

he cooked for. He cooks for all his people and they eat it together. Every day, it is a party going

in the village and they all bless him. Shiv told me, before he entered the kitchen, even when he

was alone; he was joined by the joys and blessings of his people, for whom he wants to cook. He

said, when he cooked only for himself, he felt being lonely and the cooking became boring; a

definite drudgery. This is the lovely idea of emotional and ideational company, which one

always can have, even while physically one is alone, is something I really appreciate. I was so

thrilled the day I finally made jalebees for the whole of village, which Shiv arrangement for.

Everyone was so happy and they all blessed me. I worked for hours in the kitchen but never felt

bored and toiled. I now understand, one can never be lonely when the heart and mind is

populated with affection and compassion for everyone. People become lonely because they keep

beautiful emotions of mind away.

I know, I have to grow into this art. This artistry of joy of loneliness has to be perfected. I admit,

I am never actually lonely. Shiv always encourages me to go for a walk all alone and consciously

feel being all alone in the entire cosmos but I have not done it yet. This place is so open that

anywhere I go, I can see Shiv around, even some distance away; still so near me. In fact, Shiv is

so caring; he never leaves me completely alone. I think, I am happy being all alone but just Shiv

being around me. As he is around, I feel focused to my new learning and feel the sense of

perfection in my endeavors. After all, he is my teacher of life. His presence is catalytic, never a

distraction. In fact, I feel very secure with Shiv‟s fragrance muffling me when I am journeying

into the new experiences.

**

CHAPTER 9

Shiv hates to do it. Especially with Melissa, who trusts him like an innocent child. In ancient

Indian philosophic and religious traditions, the worst crime one could commit was breach of

trust. Even modern law considers it as grave offence. Shiv knows, he has no way out, even if he

wished to tell the truth to her. He had to do it the way his chief conspirator wanted. He was just

carrying the orders.

He has the latest instruction to wrap it up fast as he had to report to his original duties shortly. He

has to speed it up and do it in a way Melissa could not sense. He decides to do it tonight. She has

already informed Melissa that they would talk something serious tonight.

As the dark descends on the village, Shiv enters Melissa‟s room. This is the time when usually,

Melissa behaves like a kid and Shiv pampers her. Shiv however has a different plan.

“Melissa, I have things to say to you but if you are tired or otherwise not in good mood to listen

to me, we can postpone it.”

“No Shiv, I am perfectly all right. I can never be as tired not to listen to you. Tell me what you

want to say.”

“You have to be very attentive as what we shall discuss tonight is serious and shall need your

perfect focus and attention.”

“Okay, anyway, in the dim light, I can only see you, nothing else.”

“Melissa, first thing I have to tell you is a big sorry and I also request you not to ask why.”

“But I shall ask why! How can I accept a sorry, if I do not know the reason?”

“Consider it a charity, you extend to a poor yogi and charity is done without asking anything.”

“No! Shiv, forget it, I am not charitable. You are not only my dear friend but also my teacher.

How can a student accept a sorry from her teacher?”

“Melissa, above everything, you are an empress and it is fit for an empress to forgive.”

“Then I demand the reason. If I am an empress, then nobody says no to me!”

Melissa loves to tease Shiv and show him her childlike pranks. She loves being pampered by

Shiv. She keeps arguing with him and finally makes him withdraw his sorry.

“Shiv, you are such a bad person. I have no words to thank you for what you have done to me. I

cannot tell you, how happily endowed I feel with you and with what you extended to me in such

short time. I cannot even think of you being wrong at the first place. An apology is something I

can never except from you. I have always received treasures from you. Are you feeling sorry to

take me to this heavenly place and making me learn so much? Tell me!”

“Madam Genius, I withdraw my apology for now but, I request you to keep alive this sorry for a

future date when you would probably agree to accept it.”

“Shiv, please, if you talk like that, I shall feel that you are no more my friend. Is this the serious

thing you wished to talk? I am not talking to you!”

“Okay, sorry for saying this sorry. Even if you do not talk to me, I shall remain your friend,

forever. Anyway, tonight, you do not need to talk, you just need to listen.”

“I shall accept the sorry for your sorry only when you compensate for the wrong. You have to do

it by promising that even if I do limitless and craziest of stupidities, you shall always be my dear

friend and never leave me.”

Shiv looks at her. He leaves his chair and sits by her side on her bed. She turns and faces him. He

takes her right hand in his left hand and taps gently with his right hand. She looks in his eyes.

There is enough light in the room for her to see his eyes getting moist. A woman is designed to

read a man‟s heart through his eyes. She reads the oceans of compassion in his eyes. The child in

her gives way to the woman in her. She could not see the guilt in his eyes but her heart soaks

with gratitude from the drops of water, which lines his eyes.

“Shiv, I am sorry. I am truly very sorry. I accept whatever you say. I am such a stupid girl. God

knows why I start behaving like a little girl, when I am with you. Believe me, I trust you more

than anything. I accept your sorry, I do. I know if you say it, there must be a good reason for it.”

“Melissa, I am so fortunate that you have always been in brilliant reception with me. But,

tonight, I have to say things, which you need to consciously assimilate. There shall be times

when you would like to ask questions; you may find something I say as untenable to you. You

have to allow them all to slip in. It is not that I am saying or giving this to you. In fact, whatever

you say you have attained here, are your own reception, not my communication. The realism is

just the reverse of it. You are in automatic reception of them because you have attained a

consciousness positioning, where things similar and naturally symmetrical are automatically

drawn to you. It is one realism, you shall learn to master in days ahead. Tonight, in the darkness,

there are realisms, elemental situationalisms lined up in queue. You need to open all your doors

for them, consciously checking any urge to block them. Later, when you assess their utility for

your final acceptance, you can use your discretion for rejecting any of them.”

“Shiv, I promise you, I shall assimilate anything you say. But you also have to promise that later,

when it shall be time for my discretion to assess their utility, you shall be there with me as my

teacher and good friend.”

“Even this is your discretion and reception. This place, the life here, the people, even me, you

have liked and enjoyed because you found utility in them. This is what we shall talk tonight. I am

very confident that you are in a consciousness of ultimate reception for it. You are very

intelligent and truly knowledgeable in your own right but true learning does not need them. What

it needs is what you have loads of them and that is why I call you an empress. You have the

innocence and honesty to be most eligible for all learning of life and all realisms around you. The

environment here and days you spent here are just the right catalyst for it.”

Melissa anticipates that Shiv has something for her, which he wants her to imbibe and assimilate

in her best of innocence. A woman reciprocates best to innocence and compassion. She feels his

compassion muffled around her innocence and she does not wish any space between the two. She

inches closer to Shiv and feels his breathe. Shiv bows his head in complete deference of the most

precious thing coming his way – the innocent trust of the empress.

The soil is ready and in absolute anticipation of the seed and this extends the energy for the seed

to ascend to its best potential. This is springtime for the nature. All elements are in perfect

attendance of the primordial union of soil and seed. The seed shall dissolve its utility and fruition

into the soil and the soil shall attain its finality. The cosmic conspiracy shall once again win; it

has always!

“Melissa, we are dealing with something, which has its origin around 3000 years back. For

others, it shall be almost impossible to visualize a time that far in history. You can however

understand it and feel it in your consciousness. It is close to where we are now. It is about

people, who lived in similar world 3000 years back. The nature then was even wilder and far

more intense then and they had far more leisure time than we have here. There were very few

people around and naturally, the level of proximity and intimacy between them was far deeper

than today. As you understand it best, in such world and life, it becomes so much easy and

available to observe even the most intangible of feelings, emotions, ideas, patterns and

structures. I consciously made you to live the isolation, leisure and detachment here so that you

could register it in your deep consciousness. You can now easily visualize a life in history that

far. Our ancestors had little distractions of modern and contemporary life. As population pressure

on natural resources was very little and needs of life were few, they had loads of quality leisure

time. The poise they had within and utility they accepted of this precious leisure, led them to be

keen observers of every little thing around. They could decipher a design, a pattern in almost

everything that happened or presented themselves to them. Humans have the most developed

facility of observance and imagination. These two innate facilities made our ancestors decipher

so many patterns in the nature and in their lives. They started to put them into actionable ideas. It

is also very natural and we all even today do the same. Those were days, when our ancestors

only had the human tools of observations and imaginations as means of corroboration. However,

they had the genius to engender such ideas, which were self-evident and self-corroborative in

their immediate milieus. They beautifully picked up symbols and metaphors from nature to

elaborate and substantiate their ideas. They are part of philosophic and spiritual traditions but

actually, they also happen to be the crude resource for scientific enquiry and substantiation. The

core philosophy is based not on ideas, which modern contemporary world can label as pure

imagination of idle and primitive minds. They can be accepted as observations of realisms,

present in the cosmic mechanism and in the microcosm of human lives and their social living by

people, who had the most receptive mind consciousness. That is why the core philosophy seems

so self-evident and self-corroborative. The core idea emanates out of a realism, which is finality

even today and shall always remain the ultimate finality. This finality is mortality.”

“Shiv, why should you talk about death in such a beautiful night!”

“We are not talking death; we are into life and its meaning. Trust me. Once we reach the end of

it, you shall find that it is the most beautiful thing to talk about.”

Melissa trusts him. She knows, when he initiated her into new experiences, she was reluctant and

unsettled. Now she cherishes them. She understands, probably this is going to be the most

difficult experience of her life and that is why, Shiv is keeping her hands grasped between his

hands. He wants her to travel the road. If he is there, she fears nothing.

“Melissa, take only small steps with me towards the destination. Join me in my consciousness.

We need to put aside our consciousness, which is so used to popular modern ideas and

benchmarks. It is a popular way of thinking that death is the end. We shall accept it as the

beginning of life. We are just accepting the basic premise as one final truth and that is why, the

inevitable has to be accepted as the beginning of all ideas of life. When the assumption is right,

the idea has better chances of being right. The core Indian philosophy starts with finality as the

initiation of all ideas of life. That is why it is self-evident and self-corroborative. Our worthy

ancestors could decipher that even in the definitive and inevitable pattern of mortality; there was

overall continuity and immortality, which permeated in the milieus around them. They could

decipher that in nature, there were elements, which remained continuous and immortal in totality,

even while part of it decayed in cyclic mechanism. This masterly observation was made

available to the genius of imagination and it could be unraveled to them that every life on earth

too had core elements, which were continuous and immortal, even when part of it decayed in

time. This core observation engendered the idea of two distinct but simultaneous elements of the

cosmic realism – the mortal and discontinuous and; the immortal and continuous. They also

discovered that within human life too, the same twin elements existed. The body was mortal and

aligned to discontinuous cosmic elements but the elemental consciousness deep within was

immortal and aligned with continuous elements. The subjective feeling of me, the self as distinct

and different from other human being was just a virtual bridge between the twin realisms of

mortality and immortality. This core idea became the cornerstone of a philosophy, which is

enshrined in the cardinal Indian spiritual system. The yoga philosophy also adheres to this core

idea. Yoga in ancient Indian language of Sanskrit means union of the immortal elements within a

human being with the cosmic elements of immortality. Yoga is a process of attaining the union

of jeevatma (the soul of living beings) with parmatma (the ultimate soul). This core idea also led

to a belief-system, which decided the ultimate utility and purpose of all lives. Yogic philosophy

presents a self-evident and self-corroborative idea of why and what is the true way of living

one‟s life.”

Shiv pauses to gauge whether Melissa has any questions. She has none. She is not into this mode.

She keeps looking in his eyes and occasionally watches his lips. She knows, whenever Shiv

makes her learn something good, it is always meant for her wellness and excellence. The only

thing, which comes in her mind, is the abruptness with which Shiv brought up this talk. She

postpones the question. Shiv continues.

“The core idea was tested empirically in the social milieu. The best laboratory to test and

validate any idea empirically is the human body-mind mechanism itself. The patterns of human

action and behavior corroborated the idea and they finally became a social practice and part of

the larger culture of that time. The culture this core idea evolved, accepted that in life, everyone

is naturally inclined to maximize joys and minimize pains. It was accepted that self-welfare is the

cardinal goal of life for every living being and this is attainable through self-interface or self-

dialogue (aatma-sakchhatkar). The wise of our civilization empirically observed that living

beings are in constant and causative relationship with elements of nature. This nature also exists

in microcosmic form within living beings. In nature, there are both mortal and immortal

elements. They observed that mortal elements are usually expressed in tangible matter and

immortal ones in intangible form. They deciphered that human being could attain their lasting

and continuous wellness only when they establish a relationship with immortal and intangible

elements of nature and life. The philosophy they engendered says – true and lasting relationship

can happen only between similar and generic elements. This is the idea, yogic philosophy

practices in totality and perfection. Yogic philosophy maintains that even the matter shall finally

lead to a-matter, tangible shall lead to intangible and mortal elements shall lead to immortal

elements. This is because, empirically, true and lasting relationship can happen only between

similar and generic elements. The five senses of body mechanism shall initially orient a person to

consumption and gratification. However, the same five senses automatically and finally leads to

the realization that these consumptions and gratifications are ephemeral and mortal. This is self-

evident and self-corroborative as every human knows that mortality is inevitable and the ultimate

realism. Yogic philosophy admits it as self-evident for all that all pleasures of body and all joys

of gratifications have the inbuilt and inherent energy advocating against it. The energies of

attachments and gratifications are entwined with the inverse energies of detachment and

renunciation. That is why, within a human being, the desire and will to have a life of absolute

detachment and renunciation is as powerful as the desire and will for a life of attachment and

gratification. The philosophy, which enshrines the ideals of purpose of life as attainment of

perpetuity of wellness, therefore extends this empirically self-evident and self-corroborative fact.

It says that every human being should consciously opt for a relationship with only the intangibly

expressed continuous and immortal elements of nature, both within the nature of the body-mind

consciousness as well as the nature outside in physically and tangibly expressed domain. It says

that anyone can decipher the practical realism that the flow of energy of gratification is also

joyous but it ends up in the finality of pain and emptiness. Whereas, the energy flow of detached

consciousness keeps augmenting like a flame in the fireplace, which is self-energized by constant

offering of renounced elements of consciousness.”

“Shiv, usually philosophy is something most of us believe as some utopian ideas not amenable to

test of practicality. However, what you say seems so plausible and reasonably evident. However,

what comes to my mind is, if this realism about human nature and life realism is so self-evident

and self-corroborative, why then the whole world is doing just the reverse of it. Everyone is onto

gratifications and consumptions and still they say the world is becoming a far better place to live

as more and more people are having greater personal resources and purchasing power. And as

you said, this gratification joy is as potent an energy as the renunciation is.”

“This is something, which you can say is a natural question. It seems very natural that if there is

a goodness and larger wellness idealism for humanity, it must be followed by all. But, as you

said, most of the people do just the opposite of the idealism. Then surely, it seems like the right

conclusion that as majority of people do not accept it and follow it, it can never be an idealism

and never a self-corroborative idea. We shall deal with the question in a very pragmatic way; not

as philosophy but as prevalent realism. As I told you earlier, we shall take it step by step. The

first step is the very pragmatic and self-evident realism that the powerful energy of joy in

consumption and gratification is entwined with its end in pain and discontinuity. There is this

famous metaphor of equating it with the joy of itching. It starts with so much pleasure when we

scratch an itch. If we continue with it, it finally ends up in sharp pain and even bleeding in very

short time. The idea is that the very core and perennial realization of painful mortality and regret

of any gratification joy, even while we are at the peak of its enjoyment is there from the very

start. The fruit of gratification has seeds of pain and regret of its inevitable discontinuity loaded

within it. Yogic philosophy lists three broad types of grief and pain for humans. As it is the

essential nature of a tangible gratification element, the person who starts enjoying it has this grief

and pain well on in his or her mind that this joy shall finally land him or her in trouble. It is in

fact instantaneous. People globally know that more people are dying because of overeating and

overindulgence. The moment you overeat, you start feeling uneasy. As is human instinct, there is

also a sense of guilt after the action, which we happily ignore but it is stored in the subconscious.

This is first type of grief. The second grief emanates out of the mortality and discontinuity of the

very element of tangible gratification. If I have million dollars, I am always stressed and in

perpetual consternation that this money I may lose in business or in other way. Worse, the

moneys may be robbed or authorities may take it away as tax. Worst enough; I am also unhappy

that my neighbor probably has more wealth and better prospect of being wealthier than me. The

third grief is that when I have once got the taste of a particular gratification, it is stored in my

memory and subconscious mind. When finally the gratification is no more available to me, its

memory becomes an excruciating source of grief and pain.”

“Shiv, I truly understand and accept this thus far. I have personally gone through all this and that

is why, it is more than self-evident to me. I presume, every one of us have our own set of

practical experiences in life, which can truly corroborate the realism, which you mentioned. I

think, the next step to this progression is why and how still, majority of people continue to be in

this gratification and consumption worldview, even when the ultimate futility of it is so

empirically self-evident and self-corroborative.”

“Melissa, this part of the question has answers, which are still evolving. Science has been into

understanding the consciousness of living being and especially humans. Psychology as well as

yogic philosophy has answers but they cannot be accepted as finality because, mechanism of

mind consciousness in its entirety has not yet been fully understood and proven. However, we

have reasonably plausible answers in parts. They at least explain to good extent what you asked

about. They are part answers but together, they make up for a sustainable answer. We all need to

accept answers about decision-making and choices of human consciousness in a very open and

relative way. The first fact remains that all gratification actually begins with an instant and

intense joy. The itch, when we start scratching, extends intense and instant joy. At the point of

start, the joy part is tangible and overridingly present. The impending pain is intangible and

latent, as the joy rules the senses. It is first nature of every living being is to accept and invite

joy. There are so many good and joyous things in this world, which start with pain, and in them,

the joy part is latent, which ultimately prevails in long run. However, people usually never accept

their utility. Part of scientific community believes that it is the way our brain is designed and has

evolved to work. Brain is, unlike other human organs, not a single organ but a cooperative of

layers of it. Its working is very complex and probably has a randomized decision-making matrix.

They however maintain that it is primarily reactive and does not register the time-space

dimensions. This makes our subconscious usually decide for us and as it is good at reacting to

five senses and assigns only instant utility as basis for value-summation, most of us have an

innate consciousness to accept the first and immediate utility of an action or behavior, without

assigning weight and utility to long-term consequences. This is something, which comes to us

through conscious and continuous mind training. The conscious mind needs to be trained to

come out of the instant action-reaction mode and short-term utility of it. Both science as well as

philosophy believes that humans have the decisive advantage of having the faculty and facility of

observance and imagination, to postpone an action-reaction decision-making of subconscious

mind. Humans have evolved to this stage of modern wisdom only because of this facility.”

“Shiv, it seems so contradicting and conflicting. On the one hand, you say, we came this far in

our march to civilization because we have the intelligence to imagine beyond the instant

gratification and reactive instincts. Still, majority of us are so ignorant that we cannot see the

latent trouble in most of our culturally labeled utilities and joys. I have heard how most living

beings risk their dear lives and are even predated, just for the instinctive urge of mating. For

mating, they do such activities, which make them vulnerable against predators. One can

understand that they do it because they do not have the faculty of imagination to postpone or

purge their instinctive action-reaction body urges. But even humans do it, most of them. They

risk their lives for instant self-gratification. Why this contradiction Shiv?”

“There are so many answers Melissa, but unfortunately no single final answer as we still do not

completely know how and why the mind consciousness of humans work the way they do. As I

said, there are part answers still we can have a framework of explaining this contradictory

behavior. The top scientists of today say a very interesting thing. They say, when races become

too intelligent, they become extinct. This somehow explains the latent energy behind evolution

of human consciousness. It is not that science is warning against human intelligence, their

ingenuity and inventiveness now. More than 3000 years back, philosophy of human minds

warned against this. The fact remains that for most people, it is first intelligence to react to their

five senses as they give them the very intense and primary joys of consumptive satisfaction. This

first intelligence has, over the years become adept, procrastinating the latent intelligence, which

warns against it and reveals the painful side of it. Then, there are other socio-psychological

reasons. We live in such a huge and diverse society that most of us are almost detached with

others. In this village society, there are only 75 people and even in a short time of a week, you

have almost known all of them and they come across you every day. In such small societies, it is

very evident and visible to all, how wrong ultimately falls back on the wrongdoer, even when in

short-run, it may seem to bring joys. Therefore, people can see and the truth is self-evident.

However, in our huge and modern contemporary society, we never know what happens even to

our immediate neighbor. At best, we can know about neighbor‟s joys but never their pains. Our

intelligence of maximizing joys and minimizing pains has made us confined to individual joys

and pains. This somehow blinds us of what ills and troubles this modern culture of over instant-

self-gratification is engendering. People all over the world know about your success, name and

fame. They knew what you attained and how you were felicitated for your attainments. However,

nobody wants to know what pains and troubles you went through because of the same

attainments. There is this intelligence of average people, which urges them to label a subjective

blame to other‟s pains. They would always say, he died of liver disease because he boozed too

much. I take just a few drinks and I am very careful about my diet. There is a tendency to make

others failure subjective so that we could dissociate ourselves with it. However, the same

intelligence wishes to make all successes as objective so that it could be associated with all. So,

it is their intelligence, not ignorance, which makes Melissa‟s success as something anybody

could have but her failure as something she created for herself. There are so many independent

explanations of how we all behave and how things are what they are now. All answers however

emanate out of the mechanism of human consciousness, which we are still not able to understand

perfectly. This in turn allows the free flight of fanciful advocacy for our subjective intelligence

and inventiveness.”

“Shiv, now I understand why you always insist on me putting my innocence and honesty to the

front of my consciousness. I understand why the tree of human intelligence should always be

solidly rooted in the soil of innocent honesty. You know Shiv, I always was an innocent empress

my dad made me to be. However, as I grew in the milieu, where everyone was in a race for

intelligence, I thought, it is ideal for an empress to be way ahead of the people in intelligence. I

strived for it and made my mark. I think, somewhere, I lost my royal innocence and crown of

stupid honesty. That is why I faced the troubles like a silly girl.”

“Melissa, you did not lose your innocence. It was just pushed to disuse. Your father wished you

to be like an empress to keep away and aloof from the populism of generic intelligence, which

has come to stay as the cornerstone of all popular societal benchmarks of modern society. For a

while, you dabbled into this populism and that too with great success. You still are the innocent

empress, your father nurtured with so much care and affection. If not, you would not have been

here and journeying the road to a destination, you have almost arrived at.”

“No Shiv, I feel, I have taken a small first step on the road. But I wish to travel the whole

distance and I know, you shall take me to the destination. Shiv, I am so happy and can I be a bit

proud that very initially, I asked you the right questions and it is all the more valid now. You

remember, I had asked you in the Rishikesh ashram to tell me, how to be in a super

consciousness, which enables the self to decide the matrix of all decision-making of action-

behavior, independent of the innate instincts and subconscious mind. How you attained this

facility of being the conscious decider of what should ideally present yourself with your

decision-matrix at any point of time in your life. You see Shiv, I am so good at keeping the

questions alive, which you asked me to do.”

“Melissa, you are not just good, you are brilliant, a true genius. Always remain with your genius

of innocent honesty and simplicity. An empress is special because of that. You are very special.”

“Thank you so much. Now you answer my question.”

“Not now dear empress. It is already too late. We shall talk about this tomorrow morning when

we shall go to jungle and sit near the waterfall. That shall be the ideal backdrop as the answer

involves discussion about nature.”

Shiv goes out to arrange for dinner. She feels his warmth in her hand. All of a sudden, she looks

for a mirror in the room. She wants to see herself. She smiles at the thought that ever since she

came here, she never looked at a mirror. There was none anyway. Melissa remembers, she was

so conscious of her looks and image. She thinks, she did not actually look at herself in the mirror

but at someone, who was a movie star and she checked it quite often to ensure that she looked

like the way people had her image of. Now that she believes, she is one, deep inside her

consciousness, who roams around in the wild nature unconcerned and free. She is one who

enjoys her simple and honest talks with Shiv. She is one who now trusts, her consciousness is

what makes her beautiful as Shiv always says, she beautiful because she is innocent and simple.

She wonders, whether Shiv finds her beautiful in other ways too. She is not concerned, just

curious. She knows deep inside, Shiv sees her as an empress and all empresses are beautiful. She

has no doubts over Shiv‟s words that she is brilliant. She does not wish to ask him anymore. She

is confident, Shiv is caring her so much and pampering her in unimaginable ways not because

her dad probably helped the ashram or Acharya in a big way. He is doing it because he likes her

and appreciates her innocence, honesty and simplicity. She believes, these are the diamonds Shiv

said she had in her and she just needed to dig them out. She decides to wear her diamonds always

as Shiv liked them and liked her for that.

**

CHAPTER 10

The consciousness is a stupid engineering; its mechanism is so intricate and mystically

multidimensional that it keeps people in constant state of flux; engendering layers of realisms,

not amenable for linear understanding of individuals. The elements of milieus outside body-mind

mechanisms keep interacting with disposition of consciousness within. This action-reaction

cyclicality engenders, which mind stores as intangible experiences and memories in the

subconscious. The totality and wholeness of it is a person‟s culture, which sets the boundaries of

his thought-action-behavior domain. As the milieus change in the course of life‟s randomized

journeys, the patterns of its interactions with disposition alters synchronically. This energizes the

incessant cyclicality of learning and unlearning, which keeps an individual‟s overall culture of

consciousness in continuous flux. This flux has the energy of creation and destruction, making

and unmaking going in an intertwined way.

In the last ten days, so much has changed drastically in Melissa‟s outer milieus. Her inner

disposition has also undergone the altered states of consciousnesses. Her culture of

consciousness is in a state of continuous and intense flux. The learning she is undergoing has

cyclically energized a very emphatic process of unlearning. The empress in flux, is in the

unsettled domain of making and unmaking. It is only very natural for Melissa that she has

unconsciously picked up one common thread in all these processes and stick to it for her poise

and wellness. It is Shiv, which is the common factor in all changes in her life, be it the change in

her milieus or in her disposition. He is always the catalyst in her consciousness of cultural flux

she has landed herself. Unconsciously, she has started to cling to him. She feels poised and in

perfect wellness, hugging the fragrance of Shiv and his persona, which keeps muffling her deep

consciousness.

Melissa, as Shiv says, is innocent, not intelligently ingenious to decipher elemental realisms of

life. She is definitely new to the idea of the male element of nature being the initiator of

nurturance and not provision. The males often accept and even pride themselves in donning the

role of a provider, even when their essential nature has to be of nurturer. Genetically too, the

male DNA initiates the process of nurturance of body, which the female DNA goes on to make.

Melissa has been in a culture of male element being associated with passion and provision. With

Shiv, she is beginning to unlearn it and accept Shiv‟s nature of compassion and nurturance. The

female elements unconsciously take to creation when the male elements initiate the process and

ensure a milieu of nurturance and compassion. Melissa has already triggered of the engendering

of creation of something, which comes natural to a woman, when the elemental nurturance of

man sets up the milieu for her artistry.

Oblivious of her inner and subconscious state, Shiv is moving ahead with his plan, which the

chief conspirator has assigned him. He needs to wrap it up fast. Shiv takes Melissa to the jungle

early morning and this time, he takes her to the other side of the cliff, where the river stream

flows calmly over almost a flat slope, before falling from the cliff to form a waterfall. It is calm

there. Melissa walks idly, following Shiv and when he walks a distance ahead, she runs like a kid

and grabs his arms.

“Shiv, I was thinking, if I have to gift you something, I cannot, because I really don‟t know, what

you like most. If you tell me, about your likes and dislikes, it shall be easy for me.”

Shiv does not respond. He does not even look at her. He stops, looks around and finally decides

to sit at a place, which is close to river stream and opens to stretched landscape. He gestures to

Melissa to sit in front of him. As she sits close to him, he picks up a little pebble and puts it in

her hands.

“Melissa, I wish to have a gift from you, which is most precious for me but I know, you shall

give it to me only when you join my consciousness to instill the same value and worth to it,

which I see in it. The pebble in your hand was a huge boulder, placed on the mountaintop,

thousands of years back. The melting glacier brought it on the course of the river, which

corroded it for thousands of years. The boulder has now transformed into a pebble and thousands

of years from now, it shall drift down with the river flow and finally turn into sand particle.

However, despite its journey from the mountaintop to the doors of the sea, it shall retain its core

and essential character. The melting, the corrosion, the drift and metamorphosis of life-living

cyclicality are nature‟s inevitable and randomized processes, which every entity has to go

through. They all shape and design differentiated destinies for different entities. However, lucky

and blessed are those, who retain their character in the entirety of the cosmic causality. If you

think it right and feel what I feel, you can give this pebble as the most precious gift to me with

your innocent and honest blessings that I could be like this pebble and retain my character, in all

the undulations of life, till I dissolve into the doorstep of death. A woman is a mother and a

mother‟s blessing always has certain fruition for her child.”

“Shiv, this is not fair. I cannot agree to it. I want this gift from you. I need it more than you. You

have to take this pebble back in your hand and then give it to me as the most precious gift, with

lots and lots of your blessings; rather all your blessings to me. A man is also a father and a

father‟s blessing always has certain fruition for his daughter. I know that. My dad surely blessed

me and that is why, I am here and now I am going to receive this most precious gift of my life.

You too said it to me in Rishikesh ashram that all diamonds naturally belong to women. This is

my diamond and they belong to me. Do I remind you that I am an empress and you are a yogi?

Diamonds always belong to empresses. Give it to me!”

Shiv cannot resist a smile. He takes the pebble from her hand, dips it in the river water, wraps it

in a fresh leaf and gives it back to her. She clutches it in her palm.

“Melissa, put the pebble back in the river, then only it shall complete its destined journey.”

“But this is my diamond, you gave it to me! It belongs to me now, the river anyway has plenty of

them. Shiv, this is not fair!”

Shiv knows how to best handle her innocent pranks. He rises, takes her hands in his,

affectionately pulls her up and tenderly drags her towards the river. In the river water, he

gestures her to drop the pebble. She places the pebble carefully along a larger stone and gestures

to Shiv that she would pick it back, when she would come alone here. Shiv smiles and pulls her

back to where they seated before.

“Melissa, last night, you had asked a question and now you yourself have answered it. You

wanted to know, how this super consciousness within, enables the self to decide the matrix of all

decision-making of action-behavior, independent of the innate instincts and subconscious mind.

How one attains this facility of being the conscious decider of what should ideally present

oneself with his or her decision-matrix at any point of time in life. You have done it right now.”

“No no. I have not done anything. I was not even onto the question, how can I answer it?”

“You have Melissa. I explain it to you. You accepted a pebble as diamond; inspired a worth and

utility of value of a diamond in a useless pebble, and you felt joy about its possession. And then

you agreed to renouncing it for a larger joy. This way, your super conscious prevailed over your

instinctive and cultured self, engendered a novel matrix of a decision-making, independent of

and beyond your intelligence, disposition and instinctive nature, which otherwise would never

ever accept the utility of a pebble at par with a diamond. Within your consciousness, there is a

culture, a nature and innate judgment mechanism, which usually assigns values and decides the

utility of an entity. They would usually have decided that a pebble is worthless and a diamond is

precious. However, your super consciousness overruled all fixed parameters of your conscious

and subconscious minds and came forward as the conscious decider of what should ideally

present you with your decision-matrix at this point of time in life. Your super consciousness

aligned with continuous and immortal intangible entity, renouncing the mortal value and utility

of the tangible matter. This is something available to humans only. This facility is your super

conscious mind. This facility is essentially a function of imagination, which is duly supported by

memories of experiences we have. Early humans succeeded in evolving fast and better by using

their power of imagination to win over all obstacles. We have the facility to imagine ourselves

out of the body and even out of the milieu to intangibly position ourselves in a situation, which is

virtual and then weave possibilities to turn this virtual realism into a largely realistic one. In

Indian spiritual philosophy, the ancestors prescribed a mechanism to be in exalted state of this

super consciousness. It is essentially, a patterned way to make your intangible power of

imagination highly focused, pure and objectively holistic. Indian philosophy stresses on purity

and objectivity of the super consciousness as this power is open to use and misuse. They

empirically observed that this facility is very powerful and can be used for evil mechanisms.

Mythologies all over the world have stories of powerful evil forces, which also used this same

facility of imaginations for their devilish attainments. Even today, the world over, the trouble is

the same. The power of imagination of humanity is enhancing fast but unfortunately, many of the

creations of the super consciousness are drifting into evil practices.”

“Shiv, this seems a complex notion. I shall need simple explanations.”

“Melissa, I try my best to make it all simple, though it is somehow a complex idea as it involves

multidimensional factors. This is not explainable in scientific language and terms as science is

still not in the stage of finality. What I explain to you are in terms of spiritual philosophy, which

is at the core of ancient Indian worldview. Science also explains the same mechanisms but uses

different terms and frameworks. The Indian spiritual philosophy maintains that there is a

continuous and complex interaction always going on between nature and humans. It defines

nature as drishya, something, which is seen and observed. It constitutes of two parts – the first

being the tangible factors in external environment, which includes the contemporary culture, in

which a human being lives. The second part is the intangible factors of body‟s intrinsic nature or

disposition. This intrinsic disposition has three attributes – sato gun (receptive mode), rajo gun

(action mode) and tamo gun (inertia mode). These three attributes are simultaneously present in

all humans, even while different people may have different mix of the three attributes. Even

science says, people can be identified as of a particular shade of consciousness, depending on

amount and intensity the three attributes of reception, action and inertia in a person. One single

person can be in different shade of consciousness, at different stages of life, as there are changes

taking in the quotient of the three attributes. The society or larger physical milieu, we live in,

also has these three attributes of reception, action and inertia. It is self-evident that in a small and

simple society, where material pursuits are very limited and small population naturally has larger

proximity and intimacy between them, the predominant attribute of the milieu shall be reception.

This shall make the society and its people in larger internal wellness but external discomfort.

However, in the unmanageably large and complex societies, we live today, where there is a

deluge of material pursuits to attain, the predominant attribute of milieu shall be action and in

many societies, where physical comfort and personal attainments have become high, the

predominant attribute shall be inertia. It is only natural and self-evident that such later societies

shall have more conflicts, larger competitiveness, greater violence and less tolerance and stability

but better external comforts. This is so self-evident for all of us. Every attribute comes with an

associated package of societal culture and individual behavior-action. A person living in a

society where reception is predominant attribute shall behave differently than a person living in

the society where predominant attribute is action or inertia. It is empirically observable to all that

the nature or drishya is a realism, which is in continuous change as the attributes and elements

constituting it are mutually contradictory in nature. Modern psychology too accepts this. A

person, who has a dominant consciousness of action, may eventually realize its futility and shall

accept the utility of reception mode. The vice-versa is also possible. The same is true with

societies. In contemporary American society, the predominant attribute is action, even while

large part of it has inertia, because of larger availability of comforts. It is only natural that many

there are fed up with existing milieu and look for a life in reception mode. Indian society has

largely been in the dominant attribute of reception. However, as material well-being is rising, it

is going the old American way and now attributes of action and inertia are taking over. This

change is cyclic with newer elements being introduced in every new cycle.”

“Shiv, it is gradually becoming clear to me as why we all behave in a way, which a dominant

culture prescribes to us. Societal personality becomes an overriding consciousness for most of

us. The popular benchmarks become a rule for us. Probably, this is why dad always asked me to

rise above the populism and be my own decision-maker.”

“Now, we come to another important aspect. There is a realism, which is called drishta, the

consciousness, which sees and observes that intelligence of a person, which his or her current

consciousness lands him or her in. The consciousness has been referred to as the observer of

human intelligence, which decides the matrix for any decision of life, in the larger realism of

drishya (nature and culture). The Indian spiritual philosophy observes that the drishya and

drishta (nature and consciousness) are continuously interacting with each other in a cyclic

causality, in which, each affects other and in turn gets affected. The randomly multidimensional

juxtaposition of drishya and drishta (nature and consciousness) engender different cyclical

expressions of disposition. These cyclical expressions are infinite and all of them lead an

individual to pains and troubles. This is because, as we talked earlier; these expressions link the

self with discontinuous and immortal elements of drishya and drishta (nature and

consciousness). The interaction of drishya and drishta (nature and consciousness) elements leads

an individual to both gratification as well as renunciation. The Indian spiritual philosophy

maintains that this cycle of gratification and renunciation is such a naturally intense and powerful

realism that most people on earth remain attracted to it and become a part of the cyclic drift.”

“And how to come out of this cyclic causality of gratification and renunciation? How this super

consciousness becomes a reality, which I think you say, takes one away and aloof from this

powerful drift?”

“Melissa, this is the difficult part of the entire idea of consciousness. This is probably an idea,

which is tough for the consciousness to imagine. The practice of it is far more difficult. The yoga

philosophy says, there is a state of super consciousness, which is called „kaivalya‟. This Sanskrit

word has almost no parallel word in modern languages. We can say, it literally means a state of

singleness, a conscious position of only-ness. For us, it is difficult to understand its true meaning

as since long; we have been accustomed to collective and mutual existence and awareness of

self. There is so much of contemporary culture within our conscious and subconscious minds.

We are so used to our consciousness in complete collaboration and concomitance with our

external as well as internal environments that for us, an idea in the domain of total and perfect

singleness and only-ness is beyond even imagination. The idea, as elaborated by Indian spiritual

philosophy enshrines that super consciousness is a state of being, where there is complete and

perfect lack of any connection, causality and coexistence between the drishta and drishya. The

subject, the consciousness, which observes the nature and the decision-making matrices of life,

becomes completely free and detached from the causality and utility of external as well as

internal milieus and nature. This super consciousness is a state of singleness and only-ness – the

kaivalya state of consciousness. The idea is; in both the consciousnesses of gratification as well

as renunciation, if there is a causality and utility of the subject with object, the consciousness

acquires the element of ego and sense of self, as distinct and different from others. This ego has

to go in the state of super consciousness, as this element of sense of self is actually a mortal and

discontinuous element. Kaivalya is a state of consciousness, which is devoid of ego and sense of

self as this state is the true element of immortality and continuity. The singleness and only-ness

has only a singular element of continuity and immortality. This sense of self, needs to go away

then only one can truly attain the state of kaivalya, the state of singleness and only-ness. This is

very tough. There have been people on earth, who attained greatness and even understood the

utility of it all. They became saints and helped the masses. Still, they could not devoid

themselves of the sense of self, and this made them create rifts between different persons. The

evil, which all cultures portray in human beings is this sense of self, which remains attached to

egoistic attitudes. Kaivalya is possible only when this sense of self withers completely. Even

greats are affected by the attributes of inertia and they stop practicing when they attain greatness.

This dooms them and humanity. Kaivalya needs to be practiced lifelong. This is the state, in

yogic philosophy, where jeevatma (human soul) unites with parmatma (cosmic soul). This is

what they called yoga, the union. The different asanas are different ways to discipline your body

and consciousness to arrive at the state of kaivalya. This is also something, the spiritual

philosophy of Geeta, the chief holy book of Hinduism says. Somehow, the modern concepts of

psychosynthesis and psychoenergetics also work around the similar ideas.”

“Shiv, you yourself say this and I too can realize that this attainment of super consciousness of

kaivalya is truly very difficult. I understand that innate nature of we all are so oscillating and in a

state of constant flux, it is really tough to discipline the consciousness to lift it to such heights. If

only there could be a simple way to get there!”

“Melissa, you forget that you are an empress. An empress has everything at her wish and

command. If she wants something, she shall have it. If you want the simple way to it all, you can

have it. Why do you think there is a very stupid yogi with you here?”

“Oh God! How true! I am an empress. Shiv, you are such an amazing friend. Had I found you

earlier in my life, I would not have been into these troubles. You always bail me out, even before

troubles start to trickle in. You just tell me simple steps at arriving at this kaivalya state of

consciousness. I shall follow them as you would say.”

“Empress, there is a price to it. You have to promise me that after I tell you the simple way, and

when we shall go back to your room, there is something waiting for you there, which you shall

accept with a consciousness, which we are talking about.”

“Promise Shiv. I promise I shall do what you say.”

“There is a cardinal rule to the success of every enterprise of life. At the start, every enterprise

looks huge and tough. Human mind, as we discussed, is not good at seeing far ahead. Therefore,

it is always advised to take small steps towards achievement of part of the enterprise and set aim

for smaller goals. Your innocence and honesty is your best preparations to attain your goals. The

simple idea is; it is your imagination, which makes you a winner, when you have to make any

important decision in life. This imagination puts you above and aloof from the immediate

milieus, culture and body-mind instincts, which often either blur your judgment or keep you in a

flux. Worse, it makes you drift with it, beyond your conscious control. You have to use your

power of conscious imagination to accept your being and self as someone, not only your body,

not only your mind, not only your milieus and not even the interaction between them. You have

to accept it as some super consciousness, which observes each of your thought-action-behavior

matrices from a position above and aloof from all the dimensions of your consciousness and

being. This enables you to hold every emotion, instinct and ideas back for a while, sit over them

with an objective and independent super consciousness. As this super consciousness is a

receptive mode facility, you shall be endowed with a power to observe and control all your

instinctive and culturally induced thought-action-behavior of action-reaction mode. As you keep

practicing to remain in this super consciousness self, you shall finally attain the kaivalya realism.

Then, this super consciousness shall become you single and only consciousness. This is the stage

where, you become the conscious decider of what should ideally present yourself with your

decision-matrix at any point of time in your life. This small step you have already experienced

when you accepted the gift of pebble as the most precious thing of your life. You used the power

of imagination to instill a value and utility in an entity, which otherwise, from the point existing

worldview has none. This is a sure facility for personalizing your own wellness and making them

independent of milieus, culture and instincts. Anything you wish to attain in life, in societal

milieu, which cultural benchmarks label as worthy, you shall decisively find yourself in

competition and conflict with so many others, who want the same attainment and that too

exclusively. The success of the enterprise shall only partly depend on your efforts and merits as

there shall always be many factors in milieu and people, which shall be equally decisive. That is

why success in our societies are exception, not a rule. However, when you wish to attain

something, which is possible only just by your simple and innocent resolve, you shall be always

successful. Like your resolve to find utility and worth in a pebble is only your own personal

attainment. This enterprise is successful any number of times you do it. Moreover, the worth you

have created in a pebble shall always remain with you as this is an intangible utility, nobody can

take away from you, unlike a real diamond. The ancient philosophies tell us to align ourselves

only with these intangibles as utility because; our own consciousness has worth only as

intangible. Our consciousness is intangible and continuous and that is why, it shall find lasting

and continuous wellness only in intangible elements. That is why, the philosophy prescribes, true

and lasting relationship can happen only between similar and generic elements.

“So, my power of imagination is my most precious endowment?”

“It is Melissa but this power has to be protected against misuse. This is best ensured when you

have innocence and honesty of character, which you already have. You need to be cautious that

you keep yourself in milieus, both internal and external, which are conducive to protecting and

prolonging your innocence and honesty. If not, then this power of imagination shall always be

involved with your ego and sense of self, which shall then lead you away from objectivity of

imagination. The kaivalya state shall be unavailable, as this sense of self shall put you in the

groove of subjectivity, making you trapped in the cyclic causality of action-reaction. It is equally

important that the body-mind entity remains ensconced in a conducive internal and external

environment. This is crucial initially. Once you have attained the kaivalya state, you can live in

any milieu, as you would then rise above all to be affected by them. Initially, you have to keep

away from contemporary milieus and culture of gratification and action-reaction mode.”

“Hmmm…! Shiv, tell me, if you have to buy this land, where we are sitting right now, whom

you have to knock to? I want this whole land to build a house here.”

Shiv smiles but says nothing. He rises, takes her hand and it is a repeat show. She is unwilling to

move and Shiv has to pull her affectionately and tenderly all the way to her room, where he has

to unravel to her the next stage of the plan, his chief conspirator has designed.

**

CHAPTER 11

Melissa reads both the mails twice, which Shiv hands over to her, as she comes back to her

room. One is from Acharya of the Rishikesh ashram, who addresses it to Shiv, asking him to

come back as soon as possible as he is very ill and need to be taken to specialist hospital for

further treatment. The other is an e-mail print, which her father has sent for her in Shiv‟s email

account. It requests her to come back soon as her mother is worried for her and needs her back as

soon as possible. Shiv tells him that he had found her father‟s mail when he had gone to town

and checked his email. Acharya’s letter was delivered to him by a special messenger.

Shiv leaves her with the letters. Melissa realizes why Shiv looked in a hurry to talk about all

these ideas, as he knew they did not have time together. She understands that Shiv cannot stay

here, as he has to be with Acharya and take personal care of him. She can easily ignore her

mother‟s call but she knows, she cannot stop Shiv from going as his duties towards the ailing

Acharya was primary and of utmost importance to him. After his parent‟s sudden demise,

Acharya had raised him. He was both father and mother for him. She understands the

inevitability of her separation with Shiv but as everything comes so suddenly, she is unable to

accept it. The very idea of Shiv not being with her even for a moment never came to her mind in

all these days. Unconsciously, she had accepted that it was just a beginning with him and

everything around him. The idea of Shiv going away from her and she going back to USA is

something she had never entertained. She looks for him but he has apparently left her with her

ideas. She moves out of her room and walks alone to her favorite spot on top of the terraced

farms, which offers a wide-open vista she likes most.

Gradually, as she accepts the inevitability, she begins to race up her mind to work out a

possibility, which could keep her with Shiv. She has a hunch that Shiv would rush back to

Rishikesh early tomorrow and that is why she only has half the day and night to work out a plan.

After much thought, she could come up with only one solution. She tells herself that in fact, this

is not a solution, rather something, she truly desires. She is rather very happy at the genius she is

in deciphering this simple idea, which would be solution for not only this problem, rather all her

troubles. She is even irritated by the thought this idea should have come earlier to her. She feels

Shiv so much part of her consciousness now that it comes as a natural progression to her. In her

deep consciousness, she feels now that the idea was already imprinted and what is a natural next

step is to just formalize it.

In her innocence and simplicity, she is not even registering Shiv as something distinct and

different from her own consciousness. Like a child, she is happy that she will take it into her

pocket, something she likes and will take home. Kids never believe their parents cannot give

them anything they wish. Shiv has always pampered her like a kid and never said no to her.

Melissa has it that she does not have to ask for something she already has. She thinks, she just

has to tell it to him to inform that she is taking it home for her.

She walks back to village looking for Shiv. She is told that Shiv was looking for her desperately

and as he could not find her near her room, he left a message for her that he was going to the

town to arrange for back journey tomorrow and inform both her father and Acharya that they

were coming. She is told that Shiv would be back by evening. She is happy and goes back to her

room to pack her belongings.

Shiv comes back from town with so many small gifts for her, which were made by local artisans.

He tells her that everything has been arranged and they will leave early morning. She is in mood

to see the gifts and know about anything. She takes his arms and pulls him to her room. It is

beginning to get dark in the room and Shiv wants to get a candle. She does not want it and asks

him to sit with her on the bed as she wished to talk something important. Shiv complies and

looks at her.

“Shiv, I have a brilliant idea. I thought over it when you were away. When we reach Rishikesh,

you shall immediately move away with Acharya to where ever he can have the best treatment. If

he is willing, we can take him to USA straightaway for better treatment. Then we all can go

together. If not, then you can take him where he wishes and I shall go to London and spend some

time with my dad. I really wish that. Later, when Acharya is well and in good health, you will

come to London. Together, we shall travel the entire Europe for months. Then, we shall go to

Rishikesh and get married in the ashram. After that, we shall come back to this beautiful place

and live here till I have the fill of it. Right now, I am ready to leave this place to come back. And

Shiv, when we shall come back, we shall build a wooden house of our own because we shall

come here every year and spend some time. You know….”

Shiv looks at her in full admiration and gratitude; while she keeps talking about all things, she

had thought of, while Shiv was away. She does not wish to leave any small detail of her future

planning unspoken, so that Shiv could feel assured and at peace. She has taken upon her the

responsibility of every bit of future planning as she feels, as Shiv has taken care of her in his

place, it shall be her turn to do it all for him, when he shall be in her place.

Shiv is completely at loss how to handle this unexpected development. He had never imagined

that Melissa could be thinking over this possibility. This is something even the chief conspirator

had not anticipated of, whose plan Shiv was carrying off. Marrying Melissa is impossibility for

him. However, he never imagines to land Melissa even in slightest pain. He is faced with the

toughest challenge of his life. He has to say no to Melissa and still ensure that she is not pained

by his refusal. It would not be easy for him. He cannot tell her the truth and surely cannot agree

to marry her. He is however, very confident of her trust in him. He knows she will understand

him.

Melissa stops her talk and turns to look at Shiv, as he lights a candle in the corner of the room.

She was so engrossed in her words that she did not realize when Shiv slipped away in the dark to

get a candle. Shiv comes back and sits in front of her. She looks at him with expectation.

“Melissa, I know, you do not need to be reminded that if there is anything, which is a possibility

for me, I can sacrifice anything in this world to do it for you. You are so special for me. I want

you to believe me when I say that you are special for me and I wish to do anything for your joys

not because your father has done so much for Acharya, the ashram and even me. It is because

what I have received from you in the last few days, I have been with you. What an empress picks

up becomes a precious thing. You made a stupid thing like me so precious by the touch of your

innocence, honesty, simplicity and so much of golden trust on me. You know Melissa; small

boys here play in the night, when the moon is full. The boys keep an empty matchbox and when

moon rises up in the sky, they hold the matchbox in line with the moon and then close it. They

all celebrate that they caught the moon inside the matchbox. They know it well that it is

impossible; still they are hilariously celebrative of their big attainment. For me, you are like the

moon, which I know is impossible for me to get. I am not even blessed like the small kid who is

happy catching the moon in the matchbox. I do not even have this matchbox. But I have

something, which you have given me – your unflinching trust and confidence on me. And this I

hold out to you with utmost belief that you shall understand me. Melissa, there are ways people

get and feel a bond. You and I are not in a bond of togetherness and proximity because we are

very good friends or we can acquire a nomenclature of some social utility of pairing. You know

it very well that we have shared our deep consciousnesses with each other. You already are in

total and perfect reception of the reality that similar and generic elements are in perfect and

inseparable union. This happens because, we have similar consciousnesses and they have already

merged. Our intimacy and singular consciousnesses are not suitable for nomenclatures. However,

there are factors and situations in physical milieus, which we have to respect and observe. The

innocent imagination of the super consciousnesses within us is beyond boundaries and therefore

does not deem anything as impossibility. However, the body-mind realism operates within

boundaries of physical milieus. What you said is something not possible. It is an impossibility, as

it has to be a reality within the physical milieu, which does not allow it. You have all the rights to

ask me why this is impossible, when your innocence and simplicity clearly sees it as a natural

progression. Here, I very innocently request you to keep your question alive as why it is

impossible. You need to trust me that you shall have your answers in time. Acharya says, don‟t

get stuck to a question and move ahead. If you do not find the right answer, it does not mean

there isn‟t any. May be, it does not come right there because you are still not ready for it. It shall

get unraveled to you when you are ready. I know, you have always trusted me and my decisions.

Just keep your questions alive. Do not allow the questions to prevail over your objective

consciousness. You have the ultimate gravitation pull of innocence and honesty, which shall

draw all answers to you in time. And when they shall come, you shall feel happy and satisfied.”

Melissa does not say anything. Her mind is too busy figuring out what Shiv told her. She remains

in complete trust with him but surely, she wants to figure out, what he wishes her to look at. She

knows, Shiv cannot be dishonest to her. She accepts that what Shiv told her was his innocent

consciousness, which he has shared and that is why, it is easy for her to accept his intents. She

just wants to figure out, what could be there in the physical milieu, which Shiv points out as the

boundary of impossibility.

Shiv moves away and after half an hour, he comes back with a plate of food for her. He sits in

front of her on her bed and gestures her to eat. She gestures back her reluctance. He takes small

morsels of food from the plate and affectionately puts them in her mouth. She accepts them. Shiv

draws back the strands of her tresses falling on her face, gently with his hands. She keeps

looking at his face. He is calm and unaffected by whatever happened between them. After a few

morsels, she stops eating and Shiv holds her chin with his left hand and holds the morsel in his

right hand close to her mouth. She loves the way he pampers her and cannot let go any chance of

receiving them. She opens her mouth and he ensures that she finishes the plate. He makes her

sleep in her bed and tucks the blanket below her chin like a child. For a while, he taps her

forehead to make it clear to her that she needs to sleep well. Few minutes later, when he thinks

she has slept and starts to move away, she opens her eyes. Innocence is what she has in plenty

but she does not keep the treasure with her; she gives it to Shiv.

“Shiv, I am sorry.”

“Sorry for giving me your kingdom and making me the richest stupid on earth? Melissa, just be

with your innocence and honesty; let the elements in time-space be in complete attendance with

your innocence. You shall see the magic that shall unravel to you. Sleep well, let potentials and

possibilities wake up and do their bit. Put aside your action-reaction consciousness and remain in

the super consciousness of total reception. Good night empress.”

**

CHAPTER 12

Shiv moves way with Acharya the same evening they arrive at the Rishikesh ashram. Melissa

takes her flight to New Delhi and from there, she has her flight to London the next day. Her

father receives her at the airport and he observes that Melissa is calm but looks drifted. Her

thoughts are still with Shiv. He asks her questions and she answers them in few words.

Later, when Melissa settles down in her room, her father comes to her and sits in front of her. He

takes her hands in his, as Shiv would do. She smiles.

“Melissa, I have observed you are not in your usual self. If there is something, you wish to talk, I

shall be happiest.”

“Dad, you probably think, I am in poor mood or sad, but you need to believe me, I am very

happy. I have never been as happy and satisfied with my life and this is because of you. In the

last few days, I have got so much and so many beautifully amazing things happened to me, I

really feel blessed and special. However, it is my fault that I wish things to be in a certain way,

which probably is beyond me. But I am not unhappy or complaining. I accept, I have to learn so

many things in my life and practice to perfection many things I have learnt. I know he is right

when he says that there are potentials and possibilities, which are lined up in time-space milieus.

I understand that possession of something we all consider very dear in our lives is a culturally

ingrained notion, I have to unlearn and accept that merger and union of one‟s consciousness with

that dear idea is far more permanent and satisfying. But I need to practice this idea. Nothing

comes to you if you understand but do not practice.”

“Melissa, it hugely interests me to know in detail as what my daughter has learned and what she

wishes to practice. Moreover, I am more anxious to know who is this he, you just referred.”

“Dad, you know him, it is Shiv I am talking about. He is the yogi of the ashram. He was with me

all along my stay there in India. You know dad, this stupid billionaire chased me and kept

pushing himself in my life. I accepted him as then it looked, he was a nice fit into my life, which

I was not very happy of but lived in absolute flux. When he dumped me for a younger girl, I was

actually very angry. My hurt ego was so much larger than life that it led me to hurt myself. I

distinctly remember, I was so upset and angry with me for being such a fool to accept a greater

stupid in my life, who finally became successful in making me an icon of ridicule. It was my

anger against me that unconsciously made me to hurt myself. I felt so bad at myself. Then, there

is a man in my life, who made me realize my true worth and with him, I discovered so many

novel dimensions of life and living. If I can say it, actually, he nurtured me like a father,

provided me like a mother, realized me my potential as a catalytic friend, made me learn in an

unassuming way so many good things of life and above all, like the objective nature, he

introduced me to my true and deepest consciousness. I could not even register how and when I

merged my consciousness with him and as it happened, I thought, it was only natural that we

become partners in life. It is so strange. It is almost impossible to describe this consciousness

with words. If you ask; if I love him, I would say, I cannot say yes. If you ask me if I want to

marry him, I would say, I cannot say yes. It is just that I find him within me; very much like my

own deep consciousness and that makes me wish a simple thing – I want to be with him all the

time. I told him that we should get married and live together forever. In fact, I did not tell

anything like that. I imagined this to be the way we need to be. He said, this was not possible.

You know dad, you might think that I would have felt very sad and angry. You may think that a

girl, who was hoping to be second time lucky with a man, must have felt extreme disappointment

and even anger when she was rejected a second time. No; this is the difference I want to tell you.

Not even for a second, he made me think of it this way. Even after he said no, he was the same

for me and I know; this realization is deep within my consciousness that after that fateful

evening, he is what I am living every moment of my life and shall live with he being with my

consciousness. He has taught me the brilliant idea of powerful imagination as the magical facility

of my super consciousness. He has taught me to respect the boundaries of physical milieus. I am

practicing it every moment to master the artistry.”

Melissa‟s dad carefully listens to her. He is so happy. He thanks Shiv for everything he did for

his daughter. However, this new angle was not something he had anticipated. He had never

imagined that Melissa could ever think of marrying Shiv. He now has to play the ultimate part of

the game plan, he had orchestrated, which Shiv executed brilliantly.

“Melissa, I have to say something to you. I had thought that I would say sorry to you first, before

telling this all but now I know, my beautiful daughter has a consciousness, which is above and

beyond the sorry.”

“No dad, you do not need to feel sorry. I am rather so grateful to you that you made me visit

India and the ashram, where I met Shiv. You are the best dad in the world.”

“Melissa, I tell you everything and then you shall decide how good or bad I am. I start with

something, which also started in India and at the same place, where you visited in Rishikesh.

There used to be a seasonal river near the ashram, which has now dried up and they have

preserved it in a pond. When you were only six years old we visited the place and your mother

was then with me. One morning, I saw you playing with a boy, who was around 11-12 years of

age, near the river. You played a game in which you were his wife and you told the boy to make

a house with the sand. The boy made it for you but you did not like it. You destroyed the sand

house and ran away from him. The boy kept saying sorry to you but you did not look back. The

boy sat there sad. I went to him and consoled him. Later, when I enquired about the boy from

Acharya, he told me that the boy was an orphan as his parents were killed in a natural calamity

when he was only four. Since then Acharya was keeping him with him and taking care of all his

needs. I asked him to send him to a good school and offered to pay for his school and educational

expenses. The boy did very well in his studies and later, I got him to shift to London and

sponsored his college education here. We had separated by then and you were in USA. This boy,

whom you once made your husband, is now a junior professor of psychology with a prestigious

college here. You call him Shiv.”

Melissa could not believe what her dad was telling her. She is now beginning to feel why Shiv

always looked to her as someone she knew before. She regrets not remembering how she played

with him when she was only six.

“Dad, you are definitely the best dad in the world and more than that you are so kind and

compassionate. Now I know, why Shiv always reminded me of you. He has picked up so many

things from you. You know, he also calls me an empress. And he pampers me like you. But why

didn‟t you tell me all this before? Even Shiv did not.”

“Melissa, it was all my plan, Shiv cannot be blamed. He was very reluctant to do all this, as he

never lies. I made him do it because I thought, this way you would learn things better from him.

Shiv has told me everything. We had never thought that you would become so fond of him and

would like to marry him. Shiv could not say yes to you. I do not take it this way but he feels, I

have done so much for him and he respects me so much that he could never think of marrying

you, as you are my daughter. I do not know what he would have done, if you were not my

daughter. When he told me everything, I asked him whether he would like to marry you, if I gave

the permission. What he said makes me unsure, whether he loves you and wants to marry on his

own will. He said to me that I was like his father and he would obey what a father decided for

him.”

“This you leave on me dad. I know him. I told you, we share our consciousnesses.”

“But Melissa, he is truly a yogi and an academician. I have watched him all his youth days. I do

not think he even knows how to be with a young girl. I am afraid; he has never even kissed a girl.

I have never seen him with any girl. I am not sure how good a husband he could be, even though

as a person, he is what every father would like to have as a son-in-law.”

“This you leave on me dad. It is rather truly a blessing for me. A man should always learn life‟s

practical things from the woman he has to be with all his life. I am so happy I shall make him

learn things. He made me learn so many big things in life. I can surely make him learn small

things. I shall call him right now. You know dad, whenever I asked him some question, where he

would have needed to lie, he told me to keep the questions alive, as answers would come later. I

want to tell him, now I have all the answers.”

“Melissa, you cannot call him. He is not available on his Indian number. In fact, his leaves were

suddenly cancelled and he had to come back to resume his classes in the college. That is why, I

had to fabricate the story about Acharya’s illness. He is fine and in his Rishikesh ashram. Shiv is

not with him. He arrived a day before you here and right now, he is probably sleeping in the

guest room in the basement.”

“Melissa jumps on the bed with joy. She hugs her dad. He is too happy for his empress. Melissa

rushes downstairs but stops before the door of the guest room. She gathers herself, waits to calm

her breathe and suddenly feels a bit shy. Slowly, she moves and pushes the doors. It is open. She

moves in to find Shiv sleeping on the bed. She carefully and slowly sneaks into his blanket. She

inches close to him to ensure he remains sleeping. She feels his breath on her face. He looks so

beautiful. She gently kisses him on his lips. Shiv can no more feign his sleep. He opens his eyes

smiling at her. She cannot face his eyes. She buries her face in his chest. He pulls her close to

him.

After a while, Shiv realizes, he has to complete something, which he had left unaccomplished.

“Melissa; once there was a princess, who kissed a frog and he turned into a prince. The prince

then proposed to the princess. Now that you have kissed me, it is my turn to propose. Will you

marry me?”

“No!”

“Why?”

“Dad has told me everything. I made you my husband 22 years back and look how long we have

been married. It is time I think ahead and look for babies. This all happened because of you Shiv.

You are such a bad husband. Had you reminded me of our marriage earlier, I would have

graduated from a wife to a mother by now!”

Shiv is happy that she is happy. He does not need to say sorry to her; she would not accept.

The singularities of life have elemental eccentricities of happening and un-happening; almost as

weird and randomized as love. The elements of one‟s own life and that of the equally precarious

milieus are both patterned as well as un-patterned. The juxtaposition of symmetrical possibilities

amid the larger probabilistic asymmetry of arbitrary milieus engender such beautiful marvels of

life-living experiences, which people can accept only in one way – the destiny! The true and

lasting relationship can happen only between similar and generic elements. Destinies shape this

way. What destiny has in store for all of us shall be decided not by factors outside in our near

and far milieus, rather by what we finally accepts as something, which is our own internal

positioning of consciousness. The moment, we accept, love happens and destiny is signed in.

#####

Accept My Gratitude

Writing something is a daunting task as there is always a lurking apprehension of it not being in

utility for some readers. I however feel at ease, because of my faith in magnanimity of readers. I

am happily sure; you shall forgive if my efforts could not be up to your expectations. Thank you

so much for being with me and allowing me to share with you. Wish you an empowered life;

with the prosperity of the consciousness.

**

About The Author

People say, what conspire to make you what you finally become

are always behind the veil of intangibility. Someone called it

„Intangible-Affectors‟. Inquisitiveness was the soil, I was born

with and the seeds, these intangible-affectors planted in me made

me somewhat analytical. My long stint in media, in different

capacities as journalist, as brand professional and strategic

planning, conspired too! However, I must say it with all

innocence at my behest that the chief conspirators of my making

have been the loads of beautiful and multi-dimensional people, who traversed along me, in my

life journey so far.

The mutuality and innocence of love and compassion always prevailed and magically worked as

the catalyst in my learning and most importantly, unlearning from these people. Unconsciously,

these amazing people also worked out to be the live theatres of my experiments with my life.s

scripts. I, sharing with you as a writer, is essentially my very modest way to express my gratitude

for all of them. In my stupidities is my innocence of love for all my beautifully worthy

conspirators!

**

Other Titles By Santosh Jha

Onlyness

Literary Fiction: A novella about life-living choices from the perspective

of a very successful contemporary woman: Word- 38,000 approx:

Language-English

Short Description:

Dumped by her billionaire fiancé, a resplendently beautiful woman, the

reigning royalty of Hollywood‟s dream factory, lands herself in all sorts of

woes – hospitalization for slipping pill overdose, bad Press, peer group

backstabbing and paparazzi. She escapes to anonymity at India's Yoga capital but the threat of

paparazzi follows. A young yogi bails her out and detours her to an unusual world where he

introduces her to the super consciousness of „Onlyness‟ within her. The redeemed empress

unconsciously discovers her true elements being in linearity with that of the yogi and believes,

she may be second time lucky. However, more shocks await her.

The singularities of life have elemental eccentricities of happening and un-happening; almost as

weird and randomized as love. The elements of one‟s own life and that of the equally precarious

milieus are both patterned as well as un-patterned. The juxtaposition of symmetrical possibilities

amid the larger probabilistic asymmetry of arbitrary milieus engender such beautiful marvels of

life-living experiences, which people can accept only in one way – the destiny! The true and

lasting relationship can happen only between similar and generic elements. Destinies shape this

way. What destiny has in store for Melissa, the empress, who finds a yogi in her new and

metamorphosed life, shall be decided not by factors outside in her near and far milieus, rather by

what she finally accepts as something, which is her own internal positioning of consciousness.

The moment, she accepts, love shall happen and destiny shall be signed in.

**

Back To Bliss: A Journey To Zero

Literary Fiction: Novel: A Love Story In Contemporary Culture Of

Conflicts: Word- 78,000 approx: Language-English

Short Description

Battling against hypocrisies, sadomasochism and perfunctory pursuits of

pop benchmarks of successes, he refuses the passion-oriented male

worldview of karma and life‟s purposes. Metamorphosed by compassion,

that love‟s innocence fills him with, he opts for a journey that takes him far away from the

stupidity of self-worth, calculated in terms of personal utility, individualistic possession and

unfettered consumption. Does he arrive?

**

Autobiography Of A Duffer

A witty but insightful narration of „normal‟ and „orderly‟ cultural realisms

of contemporary world, from the perspective of a young duffer. This duffer

believes; a normal person should know how this world looks to a stupid,

whom the world loves to label „abnormal‟ and „disordered‟, to truly

visualize realities of benchmarking. This duffer‟s wife asked him to make it

different; he truly does it!

**

Naked Solutions Of Dressed Up Life Woes

Non-Fiction: Empowering Consciousness, Life Wellness, Personal

Excellence: word- 23,000 approx: Language-English

Short Description

The world we live in; is what it is, neither good nor bad. It is people, who

are the „Theatre‟ of all pains as well as joys. The human mind is the most

capable and instinctively galvanized mechanism to solve big problems.

Still, the same human consciousness is the most potent trouble. The core

trouble is, modern day problems are so „dressed up‟; partly by our complex environment and

partly by our consciousness that we fail to see the „naked‟ reality of the nature of problems. We

can see them clearly, if we „undress‟ them. It is an art, we all can master. How?

**

Habitual Hero: The Art Of Winning

Non-Fiction: Empowering Consciousness, Life Wellness, Personal

Excellence: word- 19,000 approx: Language-English

Short Description

In all of us, there is this definite „winner‟, the genius of this universe.

However, this champion is what we can label as „Random Warrior‟, as it

wins but not always. We all have the determination, patience, courage,

discipline and the mastery to be a sure and sustained „all-weather-all-

season-Hero‟. However, as many of us miss the knowledge and acceptance of this „mechanism

of winning‟, this warrior turns out to be only a „random‟ winner, unable to sustain the artistry of

winning, to qualify as a „Habitual Hero‟.

**

Maya And Leela: Utility In Life’s Futility

Non-Fiction: Empowering Consciousness, Life Wellness, Personal

Excellence: word- 21,000 approx: Language-English

Short Description

Most of us, living in modern contemporary world of complexities,

conflicts and confusion, have questions as what a good and righteous

person should consider as „perpetual-utility‟ in life, amidst the general

feeling of „futility‟ of everything around. What is this singular life and

living positioning, which can make us live the life in a perpetually joyous state of consciousness,

endowed with „true utilities‟, shunning away all those „futilities‟, which land us in pain and

regret?

**

Why We Flop In Love

Non-Fiction: Empowering Consciousness, Life Wellness, Personal

Excellence: word- 20,000 approx: Language-English

Short Description

Love is ideally accepted with three elements of Mystery, Magic and

Marvel. The three „M‟s‟ land most of us in inexplicable troubles and

pains of love. The magnificent dualism is – love‟s mystery makes it

flamboyantly attractive and joyful. Still, the mysticism engenders loads

of confusion, making many of us flop in love. Success of love is in non-dualistic positioning,

which is simple and practical realism, most of us refuse to accept.

**

Wisdom Of Wellness: Perpetuity Of Poise Of Purpose

Non-Fiction: Empowering Consciousness, Life Wellness, Personal

Excellence: word- 20,000 approx: Language-English

Short Description:

One needs to be in lasting physical, emotional and ideational wellness.

Tips, pills, and „shoulds‟ abound; still, wellness is elusive. Wellness is

largely a function of emotional „poise‟ of consciousness. Wisdom of

wellness is in being the „master of mechanism‟, „internalizing‟ the

multifaceted life-living realisms and then, creating a personalized model of wellness. Nothing

„external‟ helps.

**

India Beyond Stampede Of Stupidities

Short Description:

An analytical commentary on how energies of ideas for socio-

political changes, create a stampede of stupidities, when they are

reactive and participants of change fail to observe assimilative

perspectives, compromising the sanity of system, which could weed

out loads of aggression, chaos and conflicts from the soil of struggle.

A global reality, elaborated with India as a case study.

.

**

Youth Sanity In Crazy Culture

Non-fiction: Life Choices for Wellness, Youth Issues of Sexual Behavior,

Personal Excellence: word- 17,000 approx: Language-English

Short Description:

In contemporary culture of hypocrisy, conflict and confusion, where even adults are in a flux

over benchmarks of real success and self-worth, the young being advised about sanity and

sensibility, lands as big joke for them. The youth needs a worldview, enabling them to see

through the hypocrisy and perplexity of pop culture, offering them a date with real intelligence

and life realism.

**

Decipher Destiny: Decode God’s Will

Non-fiction: Empowering Consciousness, Life Wellness, Personal

Excellence: word- 20,000 approx: Language-English

Short Description:

There is a mechanism to all „probabilities‟ in life, which we call God‟s will.

This mechanism has its own energy and patterns of possibilities. Those,

who succeed, decipher this mechanism and the patterns, which are there for

anyone to see. We attain success and excellence, as we align our personal energy with this

energy of the cosmic mechanism. God‟s will is then in linearity with our wish.

**

Redeem & Reinvent The Art Of Lost Wellness

Non-Fiction: Empowering Consciousness, Life Wellness, Personal

Excellence.

Short Description

The world we live is what it is, neither good nor bad. It is neutral and

objective. Wellness is largely individual onus. As we acquire and practice

those life skills, which make life wellness a beautiful journey for us, our

mind is attuned to them. We then have an auto-mechanism for larger

wellness. Time to test our Life Skill Quotient (LSQ)!

**

Karta: Life-Inspiring Essays On Cognition, Consciousness & Causality

Short Description

The essays in this book unravel the Karta (subjective consciousness) from

the perspective of the new thinking of 3Cs – Cognition, Consciousness and

Causality. The effort is to make you – the Karta, assimilate the core idea

as how a holistic, assimilative and integrative perspective of the 3Cs helps

you in attaining and enhancing personal excellence and wellness. Makes

you meet a new empowered you.

**

Enter 2014 A New You

Non-fiction, Personal excellence and empowerment.

Short Description

Five simple steps, which can make us a super person, endowed with

required skills and personal resources to: Solve our problems; Be a winner

in life situations; Be great in love and relationships; Have a personal

spiritual wellness model and Accept a worldview that makes us cool and

collected, to have a happier and better New Year 2014.

**

Do Write To Me.

sjwrite@gmail.com

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