Funny Quotes From Mothers
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- 1. PowerPoint Show by Andrew
- 2. If there were noschools to take thechildren away fromhome part of thetime, the insaneasylums would befilled with mothers.
- 3. Children seldommisquote. In fact,they usually repeatword for word whatyou shouldnt havesaid.
- 4. It kills you to seethem grow up. ButI guess it would killyou quicker if theydidnt.
- 5. You know yourchildren are growingup when they stopasking you where theycame from and refuseto tell you where theyare going.
- 6. Never have children,only grandchildren.
- 7. Sex education maybe a good idea in theschools, but I dontbelieve kids shouldbe given homework.
- 8. Insanity ishereditary you getit from your kids.
- 9. You can learn manythings from children.How much patienceyou have, for instance.
- 10. If you want childrento keep their feet onthe ground, putsome responsibilityon their shoulders.
- 11. A mother takestwenty years to makea man of her boy, andanother womanmakes a fool of himin twenty minutes.
- 12. When my kidsbecome wild andunruly, I use a nice,safe playpen. Whentheyre finished, Iclimb out.
- 13. As a child, myfamilys menuconsisted of twochoices: take it, orleave it.
- 14. A child can askquestions that a wiseman cannot answer.
- 15. Give a small boy ahammer and he willfind that everythinghe encounters needspounding.
- 16. Always be nice toyour childrenbecause they are theones who willchoose your resthome.
- 17. The first half of ourlives is ruined by ourparents, and thesecond half by ourchildren.
- 18. Human beings arethe only creatureson earth that allowtheir children tocome back home.
- 19. Cleaning your housewhile your kids arestill growing is likeshoveling the walkbefore it stopssnowing.
- 20. It is amazing howquickly the kidslearn to drive a car,yet are unable tounderstand thelawnmower,snowblower orvacuum cleaner.
- 21. If evolution reallyworks, how comemothers only havetwo hands?
- 22. Telling ateenager thefacts of life islike giving afish a bath.
- 23. A two-year old is kindof like having ablender, but you donthave a top for it.
- 24. Before I got married Ihad six theories aboutbringing up children;now I have six children,and no theories.
- 25. A person soon learnshow little she knowswhen a child beginsto ask questions.
- 26. Having one childmakes you a parent;having two you are areferee.
- 27. The truth is thatparents are not reallyinterested in justice.They just want quiet.
- 28. We spend the firsttwelve months ofour childrens livesteaching them towalk and talk andthe next twelvetelling them to sitdown and shut up.
- 29. Teenagers complaintheres nothing to do,then stay out all nightdoing it.
- 30. Few things are moresatisfying than seeingyour children haveteenagers of theirown.
- 31. If you have neverbeen hated by yourchild you have neverbeen a parent.
- 32. People who saythey sleep like ababy usually donthave one.
- 33. The hand that rocksthe cradle usually isattached to someonewho isnt gettingenough sleep.
- 34. When you havebrought up kids, thereare memories youstore directly in yourtear ducts.
- 35. The trouble withlearning to parenton the job is thatyour child is theteacher.