LEARNING GOALS

• 1. BEGIN TO TRACK CONFLICTUAL INTERACTIONAL PATTERNS IN SESSION

• 2. IDENTIFY AT LEAST SOME ALTERNATIVES FOR STRUCTURING CONFLICTUAL INTERACTIONS

• 3. LEARN HOW TO “TALK ABOUT TALKING” IN PRE-DISCLOSURE DISCUSSIONS

• 4. MANAGE DISCLOSURE OF DEBT AND GAMBLING RELATED SECRETS.

COUPLES IN CONFLICT

TENDENCY IN PROBLEM GAMBLING TREATMENT TO

AVOID SEEING COUPLES DUE TO POTENTIAL CONFLICT

COSTS OF NOT PROVIDING SERVICES WHEN CONFLICT IS HIGH

MANAGING CONFLICT IN SESSION AND ENSURING SAFETY BETWEEN SESSIONS

ROUTINE ASSESSMENT FOR IPVAS NOTED IN PAST FAMILY THERAPY LESSONS, COUNSELORS MUST SCREEN FOR INTIMATE PARTNER

VIOLENCE DURING THE FIRST SESSION OR SOON AFTER.

SAFETY PLANS

NEED TO BE CREATED WHENEVER THERE IS RISK OF VIOLENCE.

TAKING A META-VIEW

• PATTERNS OF INTERACTION

• COUNSELOR AS PART OF THE THERAPEUTIC SYSTEM

• KEEPING THE BROADER SYSTEM AND SOCIETAL CONTEXT IN MIND

Ameliia attunes to and accomodates

Jane

Jane responds in a power-over move

David supports Jane's position

Amelia shuts down or futher

accomodates

Jane's position and voice is further

legitimizaed

POWER AND ATTUNEMENT PATTERNS

Lisa lodges a complaint/makes a bid

for attunement

Don dismisses the complaint as

unimportant/fails to attune to LIsa

Lisa modifies her complaint to

accomodate/attune to Don and repeats

Don fails to acknowledge Lisa's attempt to

accomodate and again dimisses Lisa's

complaint/request

Lisa escalates andrepeats in order to be

heard in hopes Don will attune to her needs

Don shuts downcommunication without

attuning to Lisa

SOME RELATED TASKS

• TAKE A META-VIEW OF INTERACTIONS IN THE THERAPY ROOM

• TRACK PATTERNS OF INTERACTION

• NOTICE YOUR OWN CONTRIBUTIONS TO COUPLE INTERACTIONAL PATTERNS

• RECOGNIZE POWER DYNAMICS AND WORK TO SUPPORT JUST RELATIONSHIPS

• IDENTIFY HOW GAMBLING IS TAKING ADVANTAGE OF EXISTING COUPLE INTERACTION AND HOW

GAMBLING IN TURN AFFECTS INTERACTION

• MANAGE OWN ANXIETY WHEN FACED WITH CONFLICT BETWEEN OTHERS

STRUCTURING COUPLE INTERACTION

INTERRUPTING INTERACTIONS IN WAYS THAT ATTEND TO POWER AND RELATIONSHIP DYNAMICS

ENACTMENTS: WHEN TO ASK COUPLES TO TALK DIRECTLY V TALKING TO THE COUNSELOR

PAUSING FOR MEANING, INTENTION, EMOTION

COACHING COUPLE INTERACTION

VIDEO EXAMPLE

SOME RELATED TASKS• IDENTIFY PATTERNS OF INTERACTION INHERENT IN REPETITIVE COUPLE CONFLICT

• INTERRUPT INTERACTIONAL PATTERNS IN WAYS THAT KEEP CLIENTS ENGAGED IN TREATMENT

• ATTUNE TO EACH PARTNER’S FEELINGS, NEEDS AND EXPECTATIONS WHILE TAKING THE SIDE OF BOTH

• ASSESS THE LEVEL OF TENSION IN RELATIONSHIPS TO DETERMINE HOW TO STRUCTURE ENACTMENTS

• KNOW WHEN TO SEE MEMBERS OF A COUPLE INDIVIDUALLY AND HOW TO BRING THEM BACK TOGETHER

TO SHARE AS APPROPRIATE

• DELIVER OR RESTATE MESSAGES IN WAYS THAT ENCOURAGE DEEPER UNDERSTANDING AND ACCEPTANCE

SECRETS

Talking about talking

Impact of secrets

Disclosing in ways that build trust

PLANNED AND UNPLANNED DISCLOSURE

•IMPACT OF DISCOVERING SECRET

•FORCING DISCLOSURE

•PLANNING AND SUPPORTING DISCLOSURE

QUESTIONS AND COMMENTS