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X3 Rock Your FamilySession 4: Iʼm the Parent... ...dealing with teenagers
Ten Commandments of Rock Your Family
Ten Commandments of Rock Your Family• Commandment #1: I am the parent and you are not
Ten Commandments of Rock Your Family• Commandment #1: I am the parent and you are not
• What does it look like to train/instruct and build a relationship with your teenagers?
• At 13, teens become addicted to freedom
I Am The Parent
• At 13, teens become addicted to freedom
I Am The Parent
• They are becoming adults
• At 13, teens become addicted to freedom
I Am The Parent
• They are becoming adults
• We should expect them to pull away
• At 13, teens become addicted to freedom
I Am The Parent
• They are becoming adults
• We should expect them to pull away
• They have to
• Sometimes the harder we push our values on them, they harder they push against it
I Am The Parent
• Sometimes the harder we push our values on them, they harder they push against it
I Am The Parent
• Allow them freedom to choose their values
• Sometimes the harder we push our values on them, they harder they push against it
I Am The Parent
• Allow them freedom to choose their values
• This creates tension
• Sometimes the harder we push our values on them, they harder they push against it
I Am The Parent
• Allow them freedom to choose their values
• This creates tension
• Engage with them
I Am The Parent
• This is the age when you start asking tons of questions
I Am The Parent
• This is the age when you start asking tons of questions • With teenagers, “Rules without relationship equals rebellion”
I Am The Parent
• This is the age when you start asking tons of questions • With teenagers, “Rules without relationship equals rebellion”• You enter their world
I Am The Parent
• This is the age when you start asking tons of questions • With teenagers, “Rules without relationship equals rebellion”• You enter their world• To engage with them means to pursue them
I Am The Parent
• If youʼre a dad with a daughter, date your daughters
I Am The Parent
• If youʼre a dad with a daughter, date your daughters
• A way to cultivate a relationship with your teen is to listen
I Am The Parent
• Get them to talk
I Am The Parent
• Get them to talk
• Donʼt judge their answers
I Am The Parent
• Get them to talk
• Donʼt judge their answers
• Donʼt critique or complain
I Am The Parent
• Get them to talk
• Donʼt judge their answers
• Donʼt critique or complain
• The key is to build the relationship
Homework
• Go to your teen and apologize
Homework
• Go to your teen and apologize
• Write down three ways you can engage with your teen
Homework