Eap tutorial 4

English for Academic Purposes

Tutorial 4

Chapter 4Drafting

Academic Language Centre

Planyour rp or essayTitle: TV Can Be Good for YouTS: Television provides replacement voices that

ease loneliness, spark healthful laughter, and even educate young children.

A. Television eases loneliness. TV: companion to elderly and reduces confusion and

depression (Bondevik and Skogstad, 1998) (Evidence 1: study ) TV reduces feelings of isolation and loneliness (New

Zealand study 2005) (Evidence 2: study )

B. TV: positive effect on health Effects of laughter on health (e.g. Griffith, 1996)

(Background for claim B) Examples of comedy programmes (Evidence for comedy on

TV) Laughter inspired by TV as healthful as laughter by

live comedy (Laliberte, 2003) (Evidence 1: study )


Essay planC. Television can educate children1. Education television programmes: information at various

cognitive levels a. Sesame Street : source of leaning (Illustration

supporting claim) 2. TV can inspire imaginative play important for children’s

cognitive development (Thakkar et al. 2006) (Evidence : study )

D. Harm of TV Violent + anti-social behaviour (e.g. Reeks, 2005) (Anticipation of

objection) Children cannot develop language properly by watching TV

need for actual interaction (Pinker, 1998) (Anticipation of objection)

TV not an entirely positive force, but not entirely negative force either (Response to objections)


Conclusion

• Include TS again: In this essay, it was argued that Television provides replacement voices that ease loneliness, spark healthful laughter, and even educate young children.

• Briefly recapitulate findings, possibly highlighting main finding.

• May /may not end by saying some questions remained unanswered, open prospects for future study.

Thesis statement (in bold)- “(1) Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone is a great

story that develops around the legend of the Sorcerer’s Stone, a long sought after substance that would transform any metal into gold and bestow immortality. (2) In telling the story of the Sorcerer’s Stone, the novel also touches on many universal themes, such as overcoming difficulties, dealing with conflict, relating to authority and learning new ideas. (3) Choosing just three themes to analyze from Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone was a difficult task because so many themes are fully developed in the novel. (4) However, the three significant themes that I chose to explain from the Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone novel are the power of love, the importance of friendship, and courage on the hero’s journey.”(source: http://academicenglishcafe.com/ModelEssay5.aspx)

Subsequent paragraphs in this essay:1. “The first important theme in the

story is the power of love…….”2. “Friendship is another prevalent

theme……”3. “Crafted from the history of alchemy,

the story of the Sorcerer’s Stone is ancient and captivating, and the story shows Harry courageously travelling on the hero’s journey to solve the mystery…….”Source: http://www.academicenglishcafe.com/model-essay-5.html

Conclusion

“By modeling the positive actions and choices of the main characters, Harry, Ron and Hermione, the novel uses the themes of love, friendship and the hero’s journey to entertain as well as inspire us to deal with the events of our lives courageously.” Source: http://www.academicenglishcafe.com/model-essay-

5.html

Thesis statement (in bold)- “Assignment essays are developed from set

questions that give students a period of time to research a topic and produce their answer with references to their sources of information. While there are some disadvantages with using assignment essays as an assessment tool, there are sound educational purposes underpinning this practice. This essay examines the reasons why assignment essays are beneficial for student learning and considers some of the problems with this method of assessment.”(source: http://www.une.edu.au/tlc/aso/aso-online/academic-writing/sample-essay.php)

Subsequent paragraphs in this essay:1. “Assignment essay tasks are set to

assist students to develop mastery of their study subject……”

2. “Using assignment essays for assessment supports student learning better than the traditional examination system…..”

3. “As an assessment tool, assignment essays have some disadvantages for lecturers and students……”http://www.une.edu.au/tlc/aso/aso-online/academic-writing/sample-essay.php

Conclusion(Thesis statement) “To conclude, it seems that assignment essays continue to have a prominent role in tertiary education as an assessment tool.” (1) “This is mainly because they are very effective in developing knowledge and writing skills for subject areas.” (2) “Also, assignment essays can be less stressful than examinations as they allow students to show their understanding of content in less pressured circumstances.” (3) “On the other hand, the time consuming nature of writing and marking essays points to some disadvantages that also need to be considered.” (Conclusion) “The weight of evidence, however, supports the writing of assignment essays for student assessment because this approach has such positive and proven effects for improved student learning.”source: http://www.une.edu.au/tlc/aso/aso-online/academic-writing/sample-essay.php

Concluding paragraph:- Organisation is the opposite of the

introductory paragraph: specific to general

- Relates back to the thesis statement- Summarises the main arguments

without repeating phrases and sentences

- Offers recommendations, shows the wider relevance or implications


Paragraph requirements:A good paragraph is:unified, i.e. it deals with one idea only, represented in the topic sentence (usually the first)well-developed, in that it contains enough support for the main point in the form of explanation, clarification, illustrationCoherent, i.e. it is logically organised and easy to follow (it flows).


Example of paragraph lacking unity:

"Zombies are becoming an important part of popular culture, perhaps as a way of coping with some of the common fears in modern North American culture. Films like Shaun of the Dead and Fido blend comedy with aspects of horror and romance, but still focus on zombies. Simon Pegg has gone on to do other films and is a popular and talented comedic actor. Hollywood is taking advantage of resurgence of interest by remaking several old horror films as well. Television shows like “The Walking Dead” are popular with a wide demographic. Cable channels like AMC and HBO are making more and more quality television programs that deal with difficult and controversial topics in a way that is both entertaining and enlightening.”(source: http://cstudies.ubc.ca/writers-workshop/writers-toolbox/paragraph-unity-and-coherence.html)

Paragraph coherence:- Linking words and phrases

- Repetition of key words and phrases

- Summary words

- Use of grammatically parallel constructions

- Use of pronouns (he, they, our, this, that, their, etc.), reference words

- Predictable paragraph organisation• Topic sentence in first position (80%)• accepted to controversial, general to specific, problem –

solution, cause –effect, etc.)

- Sentence patterns (given – new)

- Punctuation


Example of paragraph lacking coherence

“Canadian software companies face several tough challenges in the new millennium because of ‘brain drain,’ and the monopoly held by their American counterparts. However, the Canadian dollar is getting stronger. ‘Brain drain’ is a bad thing. Our greatest resources are leaving. Microsoft is squeezing out its competitors. In comparison, if the ‘brain drain’ continues, Canadian companies will find it difficult to produce innovative software. If the dollar doesn’t stay strong, it will hurt us. It will help the Americans.”(Source: http://cstudies.ubc.ca/writers-workshop/writers-toolbox/paragraph-unity-and-coherence.html)

Rewritten version“Canadian software companies have been facing several tough challenges recently because of ‘brain drain,’ and the monopoly held by American corporations. ‘Brain drain’ is a catchy new term for the practice of American companies enticing brilliant Canadian doctors, scientists, researchers, programmers, and business people to cross over the border into the United States. The U.S. firms lure the Canadian talent with the competitive research and business edge that many such companies have as a result of industry monopolies. Simply put, Canadian companies are being soundly beaten because they find themselves on a playing field that is not always level.”(Source: http://cstudies.ubc.ca/writers-workshop/writers-toolbox/paragraph-unity-and-coherence.html)

Coherence and summary words:As warm surface waters flow north they cool and get saltier which makes them denser. This denser water sinks and returns to the south at depth. The Gulf Stream is part of this circulation system. (= summary word).

Other examples: phenomenonmethod

(create your own list of summary words while reading)


Pronouns

• Pronouns usually refer to other words, called their antecedents

• An antecedent and a pronoun must refer to the same thing.

• A pronoun's antecedent may be either a noun or another pronoun.

Example

- The argument presented by Jones is unclear because it focuses on a continent rather than on a single country.

- Jones and McCarthy agree that the research carried out by Jones is unclear. In their analysis they point out that focusing on a single country leads to a better argumentation.

Linking words and phrases- Coordinating conjunctions link two parts

of the sentence in a neutral way, without giving extra emphasis to the logical connection between the ideas (and, or, so, but, etc.)

- Subordinating conjunctions link an independent clause with a dependent clause or v.v. (if, since, although, etc.)

- Conjunctive adverbs make the logical connection between two complete sentences (however, in fact, finally, etc.)


Paragraph length- Paragraphs should be approximately

the same length- The length of a paragraph depends

on the total length of the paper


Collocations

• Groups of words that frequently occur together

• Natural combinations of words

• Examples:•blonde hair•strong argument•commit a crime

Why are collocations important?• Helps to make your English more natural

• Enriches your understanding of language

• Increases your vocabulary range

(Source: O’Dell, Felicity & Michael McCarthy. English Collocations in Use: Advanced. Cambridge: CUP, 2008. Print.)

Collocations in Academic English (1)

- Noun - Noun- critical analysis- background reading- literature review- working hypothesis- full explanation

Collocations in Academic English (2)

- Verb-Noun- research indicates- submit a report / essay- present findings- draw a conclusion- select a research topic- do/conduct research