Study Guide

November 13-15, 2013

“IN THE END WE WILL NOT REMEMBER

THE WORDS OF OUR ENEMIES

BUT THE SILENCE OF OUR FRIENDS.”

Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.

The Shape of a Girl by Joan MacLeod

A Wharton Center Theatre Production

Produced & Directed by Bert Goldstein

Braidie, a teenager struggling both at home and in school, tells her story about making

the tough choice between standing by while her best friend bullies another student or standing up

for what’s right. Actress Paige Hernandez transforms into Braidie, who shuttles between the

current day and the past and back again, trying to piece together the complex puzzle her life has

become. She speaks to her absent, older brother, seeking his guidance, slipping into multiple

characters as she relives an innocent past gone increasingly wrong. Set on the beach where

everything good once seemed possible, Braidie must decide whether there is such a thing as an

innocent bystander, and whether the penalty of speaking up will be too high a personal cost. The

Shape of a Girl is a dynamic one-woman play that examines the frightening realities of teenage

relationships, aggression and a young woman’s battle with inaction. Originally inspired by the

1997 murder of a Canadian high school student, playwright Joan MacLeod’s beautiful and

tightly written play looks at the way little incidents of childhood cruelty can escalate, and the

role an individual can have in stopping it.

“Gripping.” – The New York Times

Not Waving but Drowning by Stevie Smith

Nobody heard him, the dead man,

But still he lay moaning:

I was much further out than you thought

And not waving but drowning.

Poor chap, he always loved larking

And now he’s dead

It must have been too cold for him his heart gave way,

They said.

Oh, no no no, it was too cold always

(Still the dead one lay moaning)

I was much too far out all my life

And not waving but drowning.

The Shape of a Girl

Credits

The Shape of a Girl

By Joan MacLeod

Produced and directed by Bert Goldstein

A Wharton Center Theatre Production

CAST

Braidie Paige Hernandez*

Stage Manager: Katherine Nelson

Set design and construction: Bart Bauer

Costume design: Holly Iler

Lighting and sound design Daniel C. Walker

The Time: Winter 1997

The Place: On and around an island near Vancouver, British Columbia

The Shape of a Girl premiered at Alberta Theatre Projects (Calgary), a co-production with

Green Thumb (Vancouver), as part of the PanCanadian PlayRites Festival, 2001

The Shape of a Girl is staged by arrangement with Pam Winter, Gary Goddard Agency, 10 St.

Mary’s St. #305, Toronto, CN, M4Y IP9, goddard@canadafilm.com,

www.garygoddardagency.com

*Ms. Hernandez appears courtesy of Actors Equity Association.

Wharton Center would like to acknowledge the sponsors of our

Act One School Series Production:

Capital Region Community Foundation’s Youth Action Committee

Michigan State Medical Society

Mid-Michigan MRI

Wharton Center Inner Circle

Worthington Family Foundation

Without their generous support, these performances would not be possible.

Acknowledgements

The Wharton Center and the MSU Federal Credit Union Institute for Arts &

Creativity would like to thank the following individuals and their organizations for

their participation on The Shape of a Girl.

Kevin Epling

Big Ten Network – Associate Producer and Manager

Karen L. Pace

Program Leader MSU Extension – Health and Nutrition

Glen R. Stutzsky

Senior Clinical Instructor

MSU School of Social Work

Janet R. Olsen

Program Leader

Social and Emotional Health and Nutrition Institute

MSU Extension

Ben Pineda

8th

Grade Social Studies and 8th Grade Decisions teacher

Haslett Middle School

Lisa Fine

Co-Director- Center for Gender in Global Context – MSU

Wendy Sellers

Legislative Chair at Michigan Coordinated School Health Association

Kris Koop Ouellette

Interim Assistant Director, MSU Federal Credit Union Institute for Arts &

Creativity

Crysta Harper

Institute Intern

Braidie played by Paige Hernandez

Biography

Paige is a multifaceted artist, who is known for her

innovative fusion of poetry, hip hop, dance and

education.

As a master teaching artist, Paige has taught

throughout the country, to all ages, in all disciplines.

To date, she has reached approx. 10,000 students,

from Pre-K through college, in over 100 residencies,

workshops and performances. She has been

recognized in many organizations, including the Wolf

Trap Institute for Early Learning through the Arts and

Arena Stage, where she was awarded the Thomas

Fichandler award for exceptional promise in theater

education. The Huffington Post also named Paige a “classroom hero” because of her outstanding

arts integration and work with STEM initiatives.

Paige is a proud member of Actors Equity Association and has performed on many stages

throughout the country including DC: Arena Stage, Folger Theatre, The Kennedy Center, Fulton

Theatre (PA), Ohio Theatre (NY), Manship Theatre (LA), Paramount Theatre (TX), Cleveland

Playhouse (OH) and many others. She has collaborated with The Lincoln Center (NY) and was

commissioned by the National New Play Network in 2012.

As a critically acclaimed dancer, Paige’s choreography has been seen all over the world, most

notably in Imagination Stage’s Zomo The Rabbit (Helen Hayes Nomination), P.Nokio: A Hip

Hop Musical, Cinderella the Remix, and The Kennedy Center’s American Scrapbook, Knuffle

Bunny (premiere, national and international tours) and Jason the Invincible.

As a hip-hop education advocate, Paige has shaped various educational workshops, including

Props for Hip Hop at Arena Stage and Keep it Moving, at Wolf Trap. Both workshops help

teachers to understand the fundamentals of hip-hop while incorporating the culture into their

curriculum.

With her company B-FLY ENTERTAINMENT, Paige has written and performed several

original works including Liner Notes, The Nayika Project, 7th Street Echo and All the Way Live!

To date, she tours her children’s show Havana Hop and her solo show, Paige in Full: A B-girl’s

Visual Mixtape throughout the country. Visit www.paigeinfull.com;

www.bflyentertainment.com.

NOTES FROM THE DIRECTOR OF THE SHAPE OF A GIRL

WHAT IF…….?

We’ve all played that game, you know, what if?

What if I hadn’t said that to her….

What if I had studied harder……..

What if I hadn’t been so quick tempered…..

What if I had the courage to step in and do something…..

It’s a theme that runs throughout The Shape of a Girl and it is the real dilemma that Braidie has to grapple

with. It’s the dilemma that eats away at her conscience and the dilemma that finally forces her to act. Yet

we all play the game. I have.

When I was in middle school in the early 1970s there was a strange kid named Brian who had an obvious

mental disability. The most obvious characteristic of whatever his affliction might have been was that he

would easily become extremely agitated. He would say things that seemed incoherent, his face would turn

red, and he was fraught with a tremendous amount of tension and anxiety that manifested itself in wild

gesturing. He sometimes became so agitated that he would drool as he was yelling at whoever was

tormenting him.

I distinctly remember walking the halls of the middle school I attended watching kids deliberately kicking

his locker, laughing in his face, knocking books out of his hands -- all for the amusement of watching his

reaction to the bullying. They thought it was hilarious.

Okay, I was no angel in middle school but I never actually did anything to Brian. Deep down I felt bad for

him. But there I stood, all through the years, witnessing this ugly display of bullying and abuse. I never

tried to stop it or stand up for him. I never tried to befriend Brian, sit next to him at lunch, or even say

hello to reassure him that not everyone was out to get him. It wouldn’t have been cool to be the “retard’s

friend.” Frankly, I didn’t want their abuse either. Yeah, I had lots of excuses. Like Braidie in The Shape

of a Girl “my body has turned to concrete. I can’t move. I can’t shout. All I can do is see.” I did nothing

and neither did anyone else.

I hadn’t thought of Brian much lately until I started working on The Shape of a Girl. As I follow Braidie’s

journey in the play, Brian was conjured up in my memory. In retrospect I wish now I had stepped in and

done something. Yeah, what if……but I didn’t.

The play opens up a golden opportunity for your students to give this some thought and perhaps some of

them will indeed have the courage to step up and do something in a similar situation. It’s never too late to

avoid that nagging “what if.”

Bert Goldstein, Director, The Shape of a Girl

An Interview with Actress Paige Hernandez by Crysta Harper, MSU Residential College in the Arts and Humanities

Crysta: Tell me a little about yourself. Where are you from and how

did you first get into acting?

Paige: I am from Baltimore, Maryland. I got into acting as a child…it

sounds like a cliché. For me, it started out with oratory and dramatic

reading competitions. We read from speeches, poems and things and I got

a really big kick doing it. I went on to win all these competitions,

regionally and then nationally and that experience just pushed me in the

direction of theater. In high school, I majored in theater at the Baltimore School for the Arts, the

same place Tupac Shakur, Jada Pinckett-Smith, and many others went. From there I went to

study theater and broadcast journalism at the University of Maryland College Park.

C: Have you worked in television?

P: I did! I was an investigative reporter for a local ABC News affiliate, but after trying that on

for a time I decided that it wasn’t for me. I just decided to pursue acting which was the best

decision I ever made.

Studying in College Park was great because it was close to Washington D.C. which is, I believe,

the third largest theater market in the U.S. We have over 80 professional theaters with lots of

opportunities for fellowships and apprenticeships and where I got a ton of experience.

C: You’re working on The Shape of a Girl right now. Is there anything else you are

working on in conjunction?

Yeah! I have the great fortune of having my own company, called B-Fly Entertainment. That

came to be because of my one woman show, Paige in Full: A B-Girl’s Visual Mixtape. I started

developing, creating and writing projects, then producing my own pieces, including several

children’s shows, like Havana Hop and All The Way Live! I also have great shows that include

adult audiences, called Liner Notes and one I’m currently working on called Nayaka Projects.

My company specializes in elevated arts for the hip hop generation. Your entire family can enjoy

all of my shows because they’re multigenerational, multicultural and they are all based and

grounded in hip hop.

C: You mentioned that you have done a lot of solo work on stage and The Shape of a Girl is

a one-woman show. What attracts you to those types of projects?

P: Actually I used to be terrified of solo shows. I think every actor is until they actually try it on.

I have a director in particular to thank for it, named Danielle Drakes. She convinced and coaxed

me to do my first one-woman show and how to approach it in a way that was definitely

digestible. It can seem like a lot to memorize and go through emotionally. However, it’s very

rewarding and fulfilling work because you have to stay completely committed or you lose your

audience. The minute you check out, they check out -- and this is magnified in a solo show. So

it’s about being in a place of complete engagement.

C: How does The Shape of a Girl differ from the one woman shows you’ve done in the past?

P: The Shape of a Girl is super relevant right now, both because of the topic, and that the play

takes inspiration from recent, real stories. For me, that raises the stakes even higher. I’m

representing not just a general idea or something vague, but something very specific. I know that

this show is going to be very impactful. There are going to be students and grown up audience

members who will relate to it. It’s different because it’s grounded into something so tangible. If

the audience hasn’t gone through bullying themselves, they’ve seen it, they know of it, they have

experiences, and they can speak to it. This show really touches on all of those points.

C: Let’s talk about that. What message do you believe The Shape of a Girl is trying to get

across? What do you personally want the audience members to walk away with after

watching the show?

P: I want audience members to walk away with the self-empowered knowledge that we always

have a choice. No matter what our role in a certain situation or circumstance, we always have a

choice.

C: What are you doing to prepare for The Shape of a Girl?

P: I just finished reading Under The Bridge which is the true story about the murder of Reena

Virk, an important inspiration for the play. It gives a really detailed account of what teenage life

might have been like in British Columbia in 1997. It chronicles what kids were dealing with in

pop culture, in their family lives, and what their background is -- and what Braidie’s background

could have been -- as a teenager. Then, I’m looking into the group female dynamic, something

that fascinates me as a woman. Like what it means to be a part of a clique, and the role cliques

have and how people achieve different status in those groups. How do these girls operate and

what does being in that kind of group mean to them? How does it affect them for the rest of their

lives? I did a play several years ago called The Children’s Hour. It’s a classic by Lillian

Hellman and it’s pretty much the same concept presented in The Shape of a Girl. It’s about a

group of girls in a boarding school and one of the girls is violently bullied. Reading that script

again, and drawing on those similarities helps guide the choices I make in working on this script.

C: You’ve performed on a lot of important stages, including Kennedy Center, Lincoln

Center, and the Paramount Theater. What was your favorite place to perform and why?

P: That’s so hard! They’re all so great. Some places are great just because the food was

awesome… I know that sounds crazy! Other places were great because of the amazing staff and

venue. I’m gonna say the one that always makes its way up to the top is Wellesley College, an

all-women’s school where Hillary Clinton and a couple other famous woman graduated. We did

this great cultural exchange presentation. My background is black, Cuban, and Chinese, and

Wellesley was able to bring student groups from the African American student union, Latina

student union, and the Chinese student union. In my one-woman show, I talk about what it

means to be of three different cultures and heritages. To look out in the audience and see myself

in a mirror represented through these groups was amazing. In the show I speak in Chinese and I

speak in Spanish and during these moments each section of the audience was going bananas!

I’ve never before had an audience get what I was doing to that degree.

C: Do you have any big future plans?

P: I would love to start touring internationally. Hip hop, the basis of my theater company, is very

universal. I’d love to tap into all the different countries and organizations abroad that are all

about championing the purity of hip hop. That’s an awesome plan for the future!

To learn more about Paige Hernandez, visit her website at www.paigehernandez.com.

An Interview with The Shape of a Girl Playwright Joan MacLeod

from onebigumbrella.blogspot.com

Joan MacLeod’s plays include Jewel, Toronto, Mississippi,

Amigo’s Blue Guitar, The Hope Slide, Little Sister, 2000, The

Shape of a Girl and Homechild. She is the recipient of two

Chalmers Canadian Play Awards, the Governor General’s

Award, the Betty Mitchell Award and the Jessie Richardson

Award. For seven years she was a playwright-in-residence at

Toronto’s Tarragon Theatre. The Shape of a Girl has been

produced continually since its premiere at Alberta Theatre

Projects in 2001 including a sold out run on Broadway and a

recent production at the Sydney Opera House. Joan also writes

poetry, prose and for television.

Since 2004 she has worked at the University of Victoria as an

Associate Professor in the Department of Writing. Her work

has been translated into eight languages. This spring Joan will

be the Senior-Playwright-in-Residence at the Playwrights Colony at the Banff Centre. Joan lives

in Oak Bay with her thirteen-year-old daughter Ana and her husband Bill.

What scares you? What can't you write about? The fear of not being able to write is constant and always building. Every play that I finish – or

story or poem – seems miraculous. I write about family all the time but I can’t write about my

husband or daughter in a direct way.

How do you deal with praise? I keep thinking of the last scene in that movie Babe (sheep farmer and Babe-the-pig who thinks

he’s a sheep dog – note beforehand that the pig is a noble creature in that movie). At the end of

the movie after Babe has wowed everyone herding sheep etc. the farmer turns to Babe and says

‘That’ll do pig.’ Babe looks up at the farmer, feeling proud and worthy. That’s exactly what

getting a compliment from Richard Rose is like – a rare event but it means everything.

With criticism? I keep announcing I’m not going to read reviews anymore. But I always cave in and it always

feels awful when I get a bad one. And all those clichés are also true – I remember the bad ones

best. From now on I am NOT reading anymore reviews.

Where would you like your work to be produced? My play ‘The Shape of a Girl’ had a good run in the States. I’d like to have more plays that cross

that border and have a life.

How do you write? Pen or keyboard? I write my first drafts, for the most part, in long hand in these little note books. I hate sitting at a

desk. I also have always loved the physical act of writing. I am forever buying new pens, the

perfect notebook, that sort of thing. I put things into the computer as I go but I don’t create much

on the keyboard until after the first draft. I’m afraid the computer will make things look too good

too soon.

What would you like academics to write about your work in 50 years? If they remember that I have a body of work that will be enough. If my work, which is rooted in

a time and place that’s specific, is still relevant – great.

What inspires you? I seem to have made a habit of writing about events that often have actually happened, that

shouldn’t have happened – Reena Virk’s murder, the Ocean Ranger sinking, our immigration

policies etc. I like to take a good hard look and then figure out a way of making those stories

personal.

“Ultimately

Reena was

attacked…by

8 teenagers…”

Joan Macleod’s play, The Shape of a Girl, was inspired by the real-life events

of a girl named Reena Virk. Below is her story.

Reena Virk Story:

Senseless Teen Violence – Senseless Waste By Corey D. Steinberg - August 2009 Double Diamond Law - Whistler, BC

YRABC General Counsel

On November 14, 1997, Reena Virk was a 14-

year old girl of East Indian descent, raised in a

highly religious (Jehova’s Witness) family. She

lived outside Victoria, BC, in Saanich; a quiet,

little Vancouver Island community, where she

attended Shoreline Secondary School. She

questioned the religious teachings of her parents,

and lived a more secular lifestyle, similar to

other girls in her school. She has been described

as wanting acceptance from her peers, but

instead faced “harassment and name calling.”

She was ridiculed for being a larger girl,

reportedly called “pudgy” and “overweight.” She

was humiliated for alleged body-hair, reportedly

called names such as “beast” or “the bearded

lady.”

In November 1997 Kelly Ellard was a 15-year

old girl, perhaps a ‘bit of a partier,’ but by no accounts a bad girl, having had no known run-ins

with the law. Ellard was more popular than Reena. Ellard also disliked Reena, profusely.

At that time, Warren Glowatski was a 16-year old, living alone in a trailer in Saanich. He was

supported by money sent by his father who had left Saanich

to marry a woman in Las Vegas. Warren was somewhat of a

‘wannabe-gangsta.’

On what proved to be her last night on Earth, Reena had been

invited to a party by girls from her school, ostensibly to enjoy

a good time, but really as a ploy to teach her a lesson for

(possibly) being interested in a boy that other girls considered

off-limits. The party travelled to various locations. Ultimately

Reena was attacked, “swarmed,” at the south end of the

Craigflower Bridge in Gorge Park by eight teenagers - seven

girls including Ellard, as well as Glowatski.

Photo: Reena Virk

During the brutal assault, Nicole Cook stubbed out a

cigarette on Reena’s forehead, and someone attempted to

ignite her hair on fire. Mercifully, an onlooker persuaded

the group to set Reena free, and she was able to flee to the

north end of the bridge. Ellard and Glowatski (at Ellard’s

request) followed and resumed the attack, punching and

kicking Reena in the abdomen, face and head. This

second assault, and young Reena’s short life, ended

shortly thereafter when Ellard and Glowatski dragged

Reena into the Gorge Waterway, where further blows and

stomps were administered. Then, as Glowatski watched,

Ellard held Reena’s head under water until she drowned.

(One witness reported, Ellard later bragged she smoked a

cigarette as she stood on Reena’s head, drowning her.)

For the following week, rumours proliferated around

Shoreline Secondary School, heard by students and

faculty alike. No one contacted Saanich Police, who were

investigating Reena’s unexplained disappearance. The

police detained Ellard on November 22, 1997;

interrogating her for more than three hours, in the

presence of her mother and step-father, Susan and George

Pakos. Although Ellard initially denied knowing Reena,

eventually she admitted to taking part in an assault upon

her.

Reena’s murder received considerable attention in the

media, and the courts.

The six girls, apart from Ellard, who took part (dubbed by

the media the “Shoreline Six”) were convicted of assault

and sentenced in fairly short order in British Columbia

Provincial Court. Each served up to one year in jail.

Ellard was convicted of second-degree murder and

sentenced to serve seven years in prison.

Glowatski was tried as an adult and convicted of second-

degree murder on June 2, 1999. He served seven years of

a life-sentence, and has since been paroled. (He has also

since made contact with and gestures of amendment

toward the Virk Family).

Questions for the

Classroom:

Questions for

the Classroom:

-Discuss Reena Virk

and her family’s

situation after

reading this article.

-How does The

Shape of a Girl

represent this story?

- What are the

similarities and

differences?

- What were the

consequences in this

story?

- Have you ever

experienced or

heard of a story

similar to this one?

Explain.

-How did the media

affect this crime?

Why was it so

highly publicized?

Bullying

What is Cyberbullying? Cyberbullying is bullying that takes place using electronic technology, including such devices

and equipment as cell phones, computers, and tablets as well as communication tools including

social media sites, text messages, chat, and websites.

Examples of cyberbullying include mean text messages or emails, rumors sent by email or

posted on social networking sites, and embarrassing pictures, videos, websites, or fake profiles.

-86% of children aged 12-15

report that at least some

form of bullying has

interfered with their studies

moderately or severely.

-In schools where there are

anti-bullying programs,

bullying is reduced by 50%

-By age 24, 60% of bullies

have been charged with

crime.

Why Cyberbullying is Different Kids who are being cyberbullied are often bullied in person as well. Additionally, kids who are

cyberbullied have a harder time getting away from the behavior.

Cyberbullying can happen 24 hours a day, 7

days a week, and reach a kid even when he or

she is alone. It can happen any time of the

day or night.

Cyberbullying messages and images can be

posted anonymously and distributed quickly

to a very wide audience. It can be difficult

and sometimes impossible to trace the source.

Deleting inappropriate or harassing

messages, texts, and pictures is extremely

difficult after they have been posted or sent.

Effects of Cyberbullying

Cell phones and computers themselves are not to blame for cyberbullying. Social media sites can

be used for positive activities, like connecting kids with friends and family, helping students with

school, and for entertainment. But these tools can also be used to hurt other people. Whether

done in person or through technology, the effects of bullying are similar.

Kids who are cyberbullied are more likely to:

Use alcohol and drugs

Skip school

Experience in-person bullying

Be unwilling to attend school

Receive poor grades

Have lower self-esteem

Have more health problems

Sally: You’re a

loser. Nobody

likes you.

Real Kids Talk about Real Experiences Adam, 10

I’ve been pushed, shoved, hit, and called names. It’s been

going on for two years. I hate going to school now.

When I was in grade three, I got glasses, and kids started

teasing me by calling me “four eyes.” That wasn’t nice,

but I could handle it, I mean, it hurt my feelings but it got

worse in the older grades. It got physical.

There’re five guys who beat me up all the time. They are

in the same grade as I am. It usually happens at recess

when the teacher isn’t looking. They go after me because

they think I’m weak. Since I have glasses, they think they

are tougher than I am.

When they attack me, it happens out of the blue. We’re not in an argument. They just see me and

decide to pound or push me.

Sometimes they threaten me. One of them said, “I’m going to bring a knife to school tomorrow

and cut you up.” Another time, they said, “We’ve all decided to beat you up after school today,

so get ready to be hurt.”

I told the principal on Monday, and she said, “Many times you have lied, Adam, so why should I

believe you now?”

I tell the teachers and the principal, but nothing gets better. Sometimes the teachers tell me, “If

you don’t want to get beat up, stay inside for recess.”

At least my parents believe me, and I have a couple of friends who see it happen. We stand

together, but it isn’t always enough. The gang just likes bullying! They like to get people to show

emotion. If they make somebody cry, they laugh and say, “I just won!”

My mom tries to help. She calls the school and she calls the principal, but the principal doesn’t

believe her, even! The principal will say, “You can’t prove Adam was hurt on school property,

so there’s nothing we can do about it.”

I have bruises a lot. One time I was shoved so hard to the ground they thought my nose was

broken.

I come home from school and I feel angry and can’t relax. My mom knows when I’ve had a bad

day because she says I take my anger out on my sister and I look really sad.

The way I make myself happy again is to look forward to growing up, to getting my driver’s

license, and buying a farm. I’m going to be a farmer. That makes me happy.

Millie, 14

I’m not sure when the bullying started – grade three or four, maybe. It was mostly in grade four

and five, and it went on into secondary school, on and off.

I was excluded from my friends. They’d be talking and I’d come up and they’d go quiet. They’d

tease me. At first it was joking-teasing, but then it got more serious and they wouldn’t stop, even

when I asked them to.

They’d be talking about me behind my back, telling little jokes about me. They’d do this to a few

people.

It was weird sort of a game they were playing. Like, a whole recess would go by and no one

would talk to me. These girls were all my friends, and sometimes they’d be friendly and include

me. Other times, all of a sudden, no one would talk to me and I’d be left standing alone on the

playground. I never knew from recess to recess what would happen. It felt out of my control, and

I’d dread recess.

Sometimes I’d go and hang out with other girls, girls I hadn’t really hung out with before, but

that felt awkward. I felt like they knew I was being shunned by my friends and were only talking

to me out of pity. I don’t know if that was true or not, but that’s what I felt.

It was around this time that I really got into reading. I’d take a book out to recess and find a place

to sit by myself.

When I look back on it, I think it was deliberate. I’d go out for recess, look for my friends, see

them, and head toward them. They’d see me, then they’d turn and walk away. Or they’d start

running around and completely ignore me.

When they’d tease me, it was about my appearance. I hit puberty early and had bad acne when

no one else did. I got my period in grade four, and the whole thing was really new to me. My

mom told me what to expect, of course, but you don’t really know until you go through it. So I

went to a teacher when no one else was in the classroom and told him I had my period and might

have to go to the bathroom more than I normally would. He said, okay, no problem, you don’t

even have to ask, just go.

- What is making it difficult for the teachers to be

sympathetic to Adam?

- -If you were in Adam’s situation, what could you do to get

the teachers’ attention?

- If they can’t help, what else can you do?

- What does Adam do to keep his mind off the bullying?

But apparently someone was walking by and overheard, and they twisted it completely and

spread it all over the school. So that was another reason I wanted to keep to myself.

I try not to think about those days too much. I don’t know why they behaved like that since we’d

been really good friends up until then. I tried to talk to them about it a couple of times, but they

just said, “Oh, we were just teasing – can’t you take a joke?”

People can change, though. Kids who used to tease me became my friends. A lot of them came

to my thirteenth birthday. My mom and I talk a lot about how we don’t always know what we’re

doing when we’re young, and when we get older, we make better decisions. So you should never

give up hope. If you’re in a terrible situation now, it can change and get better.

- What could Millie say or do when her friends are

friendly one day and unfriendly the next?

- Do you agree with Millie and her mom that we don’t

always know what we’re doing when we’re young?

Making Good Choices

Analyze Outcomes

What is the probable outcome of this choice?

What outcomes are highly unlikely?

What are the likely outcomes of not choosing this one?

What would be the outcome of doing the exact opposite?

Thinking in terms of long-term outcomes – and broadening your thinking to include negative

outcomes – can help you find clarity and direction while facing your big decision.

What can get in the way of making good decisions

Having the skills for thinking through decisions makes a good decision more likely, but it

doesn’t guarantee one. Other things can get in the way. For example, strong feelings can cloud

clear thinking. So when a child is frightened, angry or overwhelmed by negative feelings the

chances of making a good decision are reduced. Having skills for managing feelings can help

children to calm down and make better decisions.

Some children have impulsive temperaments and find learning to think through their behavior a

particular challenge. These children especially benefit from learning skills that help them to think

before they act. Certain kinds of thinking can also interfere with good judgement. It is not

uncommon for younger children in particular to be over-confident about their abilities and this

can contribute to poor decisions at times. Being competitive can mean children want to prove

themselves in front of others and so lead them to make rash decisions.

Prejudice or hostility towards particular individuals and poor social skills also contribute to poor

social decision making.

Helping children to make good decisions

A good decision is one that, on balance, is most likely to lead to a positive outcome for everyone

concerned. Children learn to make good decisions with adult guidance and when given

opportunities to practice making decisions for themselves. By talking through the steps for

decision making adults can help children learn how to think decisions through.

They also help them understand the important things they need to consider when making

decisions. The story in the accompanying resource sheet, titled Helping kids to choose wisely,

describes how nine year old Zak got into a panic because of a poor decision. He had completely

forgotten about his homework and gone off to play at a friend’s house instead. Now he wants his

Grandma to write a note to the teacher because he is worried he will get into trouble at school for

not finishing his homework in time.

What To Do

What to Do If You’re Bullied

There are things you can do if you are being bullied:

Look at the kid bullying you and tell him or her to stop in a calm, clear voice. You can

also try to laugh it off. This works best if joking is easy for you. It could catch the kid

bullying you off guard.

If speaking up seems too hard or not safe, walk away and stay away. Don’t fight back.

Find an adult to stop the bullying on the spot.

There are things you can do to stay safe in the future, too.

Talk to an adult you trust. Don’t keep your feelings inside. Telling someone can help you

feel less alone. They can help you make a plan to stop the bullying.

Stay away from places where bullying happens.

Stay near adults and other kids. Most bullying happens when adults aren’t around.

Protect Yourself from Cyberbullying

Bullying does not always happen in person. Cyberbullying is a type of bullying

that happens online or through text messages or emails. There are things you can

do to protect yourself.

Always think about what you post. You never know what someone will forward. Being

kind to others online will help to keep you safe. Do not share anything that could hurt or

embarrass anyone.

Keep your password a secret from other kids. Even kids that seem like friends could give

your password away or use it in ways you don’t want. Let your parents have your

passwords.

Think about who sees what you post online. Complete strangers? Friends? Friends of

friends? Privacy settings let you control who sees what.

Keep your parents in the loop. Tell them what you’re doing online and who you’re doing

it with. Let them friend or follow you. Listen to what they have to say about what is and

isn’t okay to do. They care about you and want you to be safe.

Talk to an adult you trust about any messages you get or things you see online that make

you sad or scared. If it is cyberbullying, report it.

Stand Up for Others

When you see bullying, there are safe things you can do to make it stop.

Talk to a parent, teacher, or another adult you trust. Adults need to know when bad things

happen so they can help.

Be kind to the kid being bullied. Show them that you care by trying to include them. Sit

with them at lunch or on the bus, talk to them at school, or invite them to do something.

Just hanging out with them will help them know they aren’t alone.

Not saying anything could make it worse for everyone. The kid who is bullying will think it is ok

to keep treating others that way.

Get Involved

You can be a leader in preventing bullying in your community.

Find out more about where and when bullying happens at your school. Think about what

could help. Then, share your ideas. There is a good chance that adults don’t know all of

what happens. Your friends can go with you to talk to a teacher, counselor, coach, or

parent and can add what they think.

Talk to the principal about getting involved at school. Schools sometimes give students a

voice in programs to stop bullying. Be on a school safety committee. Create posters for

your school about bullying. Be a role model for younger kids.

Write a blog, letter to the editor of your local newspaper, or tweet about bullying.

Discussion Questions

- What does Braidie’s home life have to do with how she

acts?

- Today social media has brought out a new type of

bullying called Cyberbullying. What can we classify as

cyber bullying and is it just as hurtful as bullying face to

face?

- What was the overall message of the play?

- Study Reena Virk’s situation. Was this play an ode to

her? Do you think it helped to illuminate some issues

we have with bullying and how to fix them?

- What motivates people to bully others? What

justifications do they make for themselves, what

justifications did Braidie make for herself?

- How did the media affect Braidie’s outlook on her

situation?

- When did she realize that Adrienne was wrong?

- Did Braidie’s silence make her innocent?

- Why do you suppose the author chose a one-woman

show to depict this story? Do you think it was more

powerful with just one person on stage, or would it have

been better with more?

Resources

National Resources

National Hopeline Network

Phone: 1-800-SUICIDE

1-800-784-2433

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline

Phone: 1-800-273-TALK

1-800-273-8255

Youth America Hotline – Counseling for Teens by Teens

Phone: 1-877-YOUTHLINE

1-877-968-8454

The Trevor Project – Crisis intervention & suicide prevention

for lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, and questioning youth

Website: www.thetrevorproject.org/

Phone: 1-866-488-7386

IMALIVE – An Online Crisis Network

Website: www.imalive.org

Lifeline Crisis Chat

Website: www.crisischat.org

Resources

East Lansing Area

The Listening Ear Crisis Hotline

Website: www.thelisteningear.net

Hours: 24 hours / 7 days

Phone: 517-337-1717

How MSU Is Trying To Reduce Bullying

http://knowledgenetwork.alumni.msu.edu/anti-bullying/anti-

bullying.html

Join the drug and violence prevention coalition in your county to collaborate

with community partners in directing resources to bullying prevention:

Clinton (http://www.drugfreeclinton.org/ )

Eaton (http://www.eatondrugfree.org/)

Ingham (http://www.drugfreeingham.org/ )

Please contact Wendy Sellers, Comprehensive School Health Coordinator, at

wsellers@eatonisd.org or 517-541-8768 if you would like technical

assistance, support, or additional resources.

A Brief History of

Wharton Center Theatre Productions

- THE JACK SPRAT LOW FAT WORLD TOUR 2009-2010

- THEORY OF THE MIND 2010-2011

- GARDEN OF JOY 2012-2013

-THE SHAPE OF A GIRL 2013-2014

Bibliography

Excerpted Interview with Joan MacLeod. http://onebigumbrella.blogspot.com/2009/03/umbrella-

talk-with-playwright-joan.html

Ellis, Deborah. We Want You to Know: Kids Talk About Bullying; Google Books. N.p., n.d.

Web. <http://books.google.com/books?id=oRt1ExaLxTcC>.

Freeman, Lisa. Bullying & Abuse Statistics in Michigan USA Abuse Bites But True Love Heals.

N.p., n.d. Web. <http://www.abusebites.com/home/abuse_bullying_statistics>.

Skye, Jared. Cyber Bullying Statistics; Love To Know Safety. N.p., n.d. Web.

<http://safety.lovetoknow.com/Cyber_Bullying_Statistics>.

Bullying Statistics Sears. N.p., n.d. Web. <http://www.sears.com/anti-bullying-statistics/dap-

120000000283435>.

KidsHealth; What Kids Say About: Bullying. N.p., n.d. Web.

<http://kidshealth.org/kid/feeling/school/poll_bullying.html>.

Michigan Suicide & Crisis Hotlines. N.p., n.d. Web.

<http://www.suicidehotlines.com/michigan.html>.

What You Can Do: Stop Bullying. N.p., n.d. Web. <http://www.stopbullying.gov/kids/what-you-

can-do/>.

Wounded and Hurt Kids Talk about Being Bullied N.p., n.d. Web.

<http://www.jaredstory.com/woundedkid.html>.