R E D E F I N E DF B C S TA R KV I L L E F E B R U A R Y 2 0 1 5
A S TO RY O FD I S C I P L E S H I PA c o n v e r s a t i o n w i t h
J o B e t h D o d d s .
P. 8
B I B L I C A LM A R R I AG EW h a t m a k e s a
m a r r i a g e s a c re d ?
P.1 0
S E R V I N G T H R O U G HG U E S T S E R V I C E M I N I S T RY
We l c o m i n g p e o p l e t oF B C S t a r k v i l l e .
P.1 4
BiblicalMarriage
2 F E B R U A R Y 2 0 1 5 | I s s u e 2
CHILDREN’S BUILDING
OPENING!FEBRUARY 8THNEW SUNDAY MORNING SCHEDULE
SUNDAY SCHOOL 9:45 AM
WORSHIP SERVICES8:30 & 11:00 AM
CONTENTS
B I B L I C A LM A R R I AG E
W h a t m a k e s a m a r r i a g e s a c re d ?
A S TO RY O FD I S C I P L E S H I PA c o n v e r s a t i o n w i t h
J o B e t h D o d d s
8CHURCH STAFFC H I P S T E V E N S S E N I O R PA S TO R | [email protected]
C L I F TO N C U R T I SA S S O C . PA S TO R O F PA S TO R A L C A R E & FAC I L I T Y A D M I N .
D R . TO M J E N K I N S A S S O C . PA S TO R O F M U S I C & M E D I A | [email protected]
N AT H A N TAY LO R U N I V E R S I T Y & M I S S I O N S M I N I S T E R | [email protected]
N E I L T U L LO S YO U T H M I N I S T E R | [email protected]
L E A H F R A N C E S E ATO N DIRECTOR OF CHILDRENS MINISTRY | [email protected]
C H A R I T Y G WA LT N E Y DIRECTOR OF PRESCHOOL MINISTRY | [email protected]
B O B BY D ’A L E S S A N D R O DIRECTOR OF MEDIA & TECHNICAL ARTS MINISTRY
4 First Word from Chip Stevens
FEATURES5 Youth Relationships
8 GATHER: From Visitors to Sunday School Teachers
16 GO: A Journey to East Asia
OUR CHURCH FAMILY18 Book Review: The 5 Love Languages
19 Our Church Family Updates
20 Parents Page/Upcoming Events
21 Calendar
S E R V I N G T H R O U G HG U E S T S E R V I C E S M I N I S T RY
We l c o m i n g p e o p l e t oF B C S t a r k v i l l e .
4 F E B R U A R Y 2 0 1 5 | I s s u e 2
hen you think about February, you generally think about Valentine’s Day. From passing out small cards with candy attached in elementary school to buying a special gift or dinner for your spouse, the month of February has been an opportunity to show appreciation to the one we love. One thing’s for sure: love gets a lot more complicated when you get past cards and candy.
For the month of February, the sermon series is entitled Marriage:Redefined. We will look at what God’s Word says about life before marriage, about God’s desire for marriage, what God’s Word has to say about same-sex relationships, and how to have a marriage that lasts. Each of these messages will help us really take a closer look at God’s heart regarding marriage. In a world that sends so many conflicting messages about what love is, it’s imperative that we, as a church, know truth so we can live it and communicate it. I hope you’ll join us each Sunday for worship.
In this month’s edition of Redefined, you’ll find guidance for parenting dating youth, a book review of The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman and an article based on an infor-mal church survey about Biblical marriage. In addition to the calendar and events for February, you’ll also find stories about how God is working in the lives of people at FBC.
We are so excited to move into the new Children’s Building on February 8. With the new building comes a new schedule. With the new schedule comes new opportunities to GATHER, GROW, GIVE, and GO. We hope you’ll take advantage of these opportunities for you and your family to grow in your relationship with Christ and to invite others to do the same. These are exciting days.
Thank you for allowing us to GATHER…GROW…GIVE…and GO with you!
FIRST WORDFROM CHIP STEVENS
Twitter: @fbcstarkchip
F B C S TA R K V I L L E . C O M 5
outh pastors have a front row seat to teenage couples falling in love at summer camp or some other youth event. Within hours they become convinced that their new crush is the love of their life. Girls begin making wedding plans, and it’s all great until the bus pulls back into the church parking lot just in time for them to break up.
The teenage years are a time of constant change. As they are transitioning from childhood into adulthood, they are constantly seeking out and discovering what they like and don’t like. Soccer was their favorite sport, but now it’s baseball, and it’ll be football within a few months. They are discovering what subjects or hobbies interest them. They are becoming aware of how God has gifted them. Therefore, it should come as no surprise that how a teenager feels about a particular guy or girl won’t last long either. Thankfully, teens don’t have to go through this stage of life without the influence and guidance of moms, dads, and other adults who care for them. While parents cannot control the emotions of their teenager; that does not mean that moms and dads should throw up their hands in surrender on the topic of youth relationships.
If you were to read the various parenting books for parents of teens, you would find a wide variety of opinions on the topic. Some writers express that teenagers should abstain from dating altogether, while others write that there's nothing wrong with teenagers dating as it helps prepare them for a future marriage by discovering what to look for (or avoid) in a future spouse. Scripture does give moms and dads some guidance - not necessarily a how-to-list for handling teens and dating, but it gives some principles for how to guide them.
Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one. You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might. And these words that I command you
today shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise. You shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes. You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates.
- Deuteronomy 6:4-9
Scripture teaches us that parents are to be engaged in regular conversations with their teenagers. Your own love for the Lord should be spilling over into your conversations with your teen no matter the topic of discussion - sports, school or dating. That doesn’t mean it’s an easy
YOUTHRELATIONSHIPS
B Y N E I L T U L LO S
NEIL TULLOS has served as our Youth Minister since 2014. You can connect with him on Twitter @neiltullos or on The City.
conversation. Here are a few ideas that might help with your teen:
• Set a pattern worth copying - Display a marriage/dating relationship/singleness that gives your son or daughter a good pattern to follow in their own life. Create a high level of expectation for your child in their dating relationships.
• Have an ongoing conversation rather than “the talk” - Have an open line of communication where your son or daughter has the freedom to have honest conversations about dating.
• Pray - If your teen is dating there is no doubt that your prayer life has increased, but even more than that, begin praying now for the type of person your teen is becoming and for their future spouse. Let your teen know that you care deeply about who he or she is becoming and for the type of person that they will choose to marry one day.
To stay engaged with what is happening each week in our youth ministry and how to continue the conversation in your home, join our Youth Parents Group on The City. Each week, parenting resources are published to help you parent your teen.
"Your own love for the Lord
should be spi l l ing over into your
conversat ions with your teen no
matter the topic of d iscuss ion
- sports , school or dat ing."
- Nei l Tul los
GATHERF B C S TA R KV I L L E
B Y L E A H F R A N C E S E ATO N
or many of us, Sunday comes with the expectation of attending Sunday School and a service of worship. However, Sunday School is relatively new in the life of the Christian church. It began in England in the late 1700’s as a way to teach and educate children who worked in
factories and could not attend school. What began as a way to teach children how to read and write
quickly became an avenue for the advancement of the Gospel. By the 1900’s, Sunday School was an integral part of the education ministries of the Church. This is still true for FBC Starkville. It is through Sunday School that the life of our church happens; where we are able to gather with people in the same station of life; and where we learn from and support each other.
FROM VISITORS TOSUNDAY SCHOOL TEACHERS
F B C S TA R K V I L L E . C O M 7
Of course, the worship experience offers an opportunity to learn and hear Biblical instruction, and perhaps in the midst of a busy schedule, it can be easy to forgo Sunday School and simply attend worship. Yet, if you’re like me, there have been moments when you just want to raise your hand in the middle of a sermon and say, “I’m going to need a little clarification on that,” or “Can we just explore that thought for a minute?” This is why Sunday School is important and vital to our walk with the Lord. It allows us to open the door for discovery, discussion, and accountability. In these small groups, we can share the good and the bad, the victories and defeats.
In the span of six months, Jeremy and Sarah Nicholas have gone from visitors to Sunday School teachers. Jeremy and Sarah have been teaching for three weeks, and we talked together to discuss their heart for our church and their desire to lead in Sunday School.
The Nicholas family moved to Starkville in June 2014 after feeling the Lord’s calling for Jeremy to accept a position at Starkville Academy. After their children attended VBS, Jeremy and Sarah began visiting FBC and found a home in the Cook Class. After expressing to friends how much Sarah enjoyed hearing Jeremy teach, it wasn’t long before he was contacted about teaching a class. Jeremy and Sarah discovered a few years ago that they had a passion for working with couples. It was through Sunday School that they were able to connect with and encourage each other.
Because of his career, Jeremy and Sarah are experienced in visiting churches. He recalled, “We have had three churches in the past six years; we’ve done the visiting thing. Because of this, we know the difference it makes when someone is intentional. We want to make sure we are making connections, sending letters, and getting to know visitors outside of the church as well.”
“We never want to underestimate the power of a phone call. We want to give visitors a personal invitation and an opportunity to join our class,” added Sarah.
It is very clear that Jeremy and Sarah have a desire to reach people through their class. They do not see Sunday School as something to simply “check off the list.” It is where they can build sincere and authentic relationships centered on growing in the Lord. “When a visitor
comes to our class, we want them to feel like they are at home with family, rather than on display,” Jeremy explained.
“The more involved you become in Sunday School and in church, the more you really soak up and get out of it. The church people become your ‘people,’ those that you can’t live without. So you vacation together and hang out together… You become intimate in ways that you would miss out on if you were not connected,” said Sarah.
Don’t miss out on the relationships, accountability, and growth that comes from connecting with a small body of believers within the church! The Nicholas Class is a couples class for the 20’s to 40’s. They would love to have you join them, and there are many other classes available.
HOW DO I FIND A SUNDAY SCHOOL CLASS?If you would like more information on joining a Sunday School class, please contact Emily Washburn at (662)323-5633 or [email protected].
LEAH FRANCES EATON has served as our Director of Children since 2013. You can connect with her on Twitter @LeahFrances or on The City.
8 F E B R U A R Y 2 0 1 5 | I s s u e 2
GROWF B C S TA R KV I L L E
B Y N E I L T U L LO S
or most of us, we can point to a few specific relationships as a major part of our spiritual growth. This might be a Sunday School teacher, neighbor, or grandmother who has helped us grow in our relationship with the Lord. For some, it was an informal relationship, but for others, we sought out a relationship with someone because we knew that person could help us grow.
One such person in our church family is Jo Beth Dodds. She’s a seventeen year old senior at Starkville Christian School and the daughter of Russell and Haley Dodds. She plans to at-
tend Mississippi State next year. In addition to being an active member of our youth ministry, she has been in a mentoring relationship with Renee Young for the past two years.
Nei l : How did you and Renee begin this discipling relationship?
Jo Beth: I was in 10th grade when I met Renee. She was a college student, and I thought she was the coolest person I had ever met. One Wednesday night during our youth worship service, I felt prompted by God to ask her if she would meet regularly with me. I was really nervous and thought that she would be too busy to meet with me, but she was excited about it, and we began meeting weekly.
Nei l : How has meeting regularly with someone a few years older than you helped you mature in your faith?
Jo Beth: Renee is able to understand what I am going through because she’s been through similar experiences, but she has the vantage point of having already lived through decisions I am facing and can give me wisdom on what I should do.
Nei l : What do you do when you meet together each week?
Jo Beth: We meet once a week at Renee’s house at 6:30 a.m. for breakfast and coffee. We are typically reading through a book of the Bible together, so each week we would have read a chapter, and then we would discuss it together.
Nei l : Is there something specific that Renee has taught you that has really helped you grow in your relationship with Jesus?
Jo Beth: One thing she has taught me is how to journal. Renee is really creative, so we made journals together. She’s taught
A STORY OF DISCIPLESHIPA c o n v e r s a t i o n w i t h J o B e t h D o d d s .
F B C S TA R K V I L L E . C O M 9
was working along side of me or anyone that seemed down. That night, we had a barbecue for the community, and through that, I could see the church’s and pastor’s heart for reaching their community. I went to thank them and just encourage them for what they were doing. Through that
conversation the pastor asked me to come back to serve the church as an intern. If it wasn’t for Renee’s prayer card she’d written for me, probably none of that would have happened. I also think God has used the other mission trips I’ve been on with the church (Haiti and Chicago) along with serving here in Starkville through things like painting bathrooms or helping with a sports camp. I remember one night at summer camp, when I was in the 7th grade, we were discussing what we had learned that day and I began to have this feeling that I would, one day, go on an overseas mission trip.
me how to write down my thoughts as I read the Bible, and to write down my prayers. Journaling has been a big help to me because it helps me to remember what I’ve read. I’m able to go back and reflect on what God has been teaching me.
Nei l : What is it about Renee that has made such a big impact on you?
Jo Beth: She’s honest. She opens up with me. She’s a friend, but she’s not scared to tell me what I need to hear rather than what I want to hear, and she does it in a loving manner.
Nei l : What are your plans for this summer?
Jo Beth: I'll be spending two months this summer in Brierley Hill, England. It’s a small town about two hours from London. This past summer, our youth ministry went there on a mission trip, and while I was there, the church we were serving asked me if I would be interested in coming back this summer to serve as an intern.
Nei l : What will you be doing while you are there?
Jo Beth: I’ll be doing a little bit of everything - discipling youth, leading small groups, serving in their coffee shop, and serving the homeless.
Nei l : Can you see how God used your spiritual growth through your relationship with Renee as well as other events to help bring you to this point to where you would leave home for a summer to serve?
Jo Beth: When I went with the youth group to England this past summer, Renee made me a prayer package. For each day I was there, she had written a prayer for me. On the third day, the card that she had for me was on encouraging my teammates. I set my mind to encourage everyone who
HOW DO I GET INVOLVED?If you are interested in volunteering with the
youth ministry contact Emily Washburn at [email protected].
NEIL TULLOS has served as our Youth Minister since 2014. You can connect with him on Twitter @neiltullos or on The City.
Nei l : How is going to England for the summer causing you to trust God more?
Jo Beth: Being away from my family for two months is going to be a really big deal for me. I also have the thought “Why is God sending me when He could send
anyone?” Of course the financial issue is a big deal. I’m trying to figure out how God is going to provide the finances for me to go. I’m also having to learn to wait on his timing.
Nei l : How could our church family pray for you as you prepare to go?
Jo Beth: One way to pray for me is that I need to be prepared to be in a non-Christian environment. I’ve gone to a Christian school, so I’m used to being in a Christian environment. I also see this summer as preparing me for college and sharing my faith more boldly.
Pray for Jo Beth as she undertakes this mission opportunity and calling from the Lord. Brierley Hill is a suburb of Birmingham, England. The pastor, Andy Hobson, has found in research that only 1% of the suburban population in Brierley Hill is evangelical Christian. If you are interested in assisting financially with Jo Beth’s support or with any of
our church mission projects, please contact Nathan Taylor, Minister of University and Missions at [email protected].
10 F E B R U A R Y 2 0 1 5 | I s s u e 2
hat makes a marriage? True love? Common goals? We all know the ‘process’: first dating, then ‘popping the question’, then an engagement filled with planning for the big day. Then, of course, there’s the ‘big day’: giving the bride away (in an only-wear-it-once dress), the exchanging of vows, the musicians, the
reception, and finally the honeymoon. Is that what makes a marriage?
Marriage is one of the basic building blocks of society. In fact, it is extremely rare to find a society that, in one way or another, doesn’t utilize a form of it. Every civilization has celebrated marriage with some sort of ceremony, law, or tradition with ‘jumping the broom’ and ‘tying the knot’ in civil, private, or religious unions. In fact, the first recorded marriage contracts date from over 4000 years ago in Mesopotamia. For about 3000 years, marriage was basically a business contract. The first Christian ceremonies didn’t begin until the late 12th and 13th centuries and marrying for love is a recent development that’s only been around about 100 years! For centuries
the church didn’t have much to do with weddings. A civil ceremony was the norm for the well-to-do and the common folk might just proclaim their marriage, move in and move on with life.
So what makes a Christian marriage different? We took an informal survey of a few members of First Baptist Church to see what they had to say about marriage in the 21st Century. A few selected responses follow but you can read an interesting compilation
of all the responses by visiting www.fbcstarkville.com.
As I read the wonderful replies to our survey questions, I was struck by the amount of wisdom, experience and love that poured through each response. No one should feel alone in their private marriage struggles. Broken and breaking marriages are a reality at FBC Starkville. There are many marital problems that become opportunities for us to dig ourselves into holes from which we can’t seem to escape. As one
reply said, “Stubbornness only gets the hole bigger, deeper and darker.” We are not perfect people, but there are many who stand ready to support, encourage, love, and pray for each of us to fulfill God’s purpose in our marriages.
“Ok….sacred is a good Bible
word…. .but today who real ly
knows what i t means? When we
attended the Song of Solomon
study, one th ing that stood out
to us was the idea of marr iage
being holy and not a mechanism
des igned to make you happy.”
BiblicalMarriage What makes a marriage sacred?
B Y D R . TO M J E N K I N S
F B C S TA R K V I L L E . C O M 11
a man and a woman, and then a life lived to put their relationship with God and with each other above all else. Even though the Bible may not state all of these requirements in one verse, the teaching, taken as a whole, speaks to all of these.”
What advice do you have for a couple seeking to have a Biblical or sacred marriage? The most common answer to this question includes three points:
• Prioritize your relationships: God is first, spouse is second, all else is third.
• Spend time in prayer, bible study and worship both individually and with your spouse.
• Surround yourself with people who will encourage and challenge you in your marriage.
One husband added, “Practice service, love, and forgiveness. Be willing to share what God is doing in your life daily. Use
Historically, marriage has been around a long time and in many different civilizations and cultures. As an institution, is it intrinsically sacred? What makes it sacred? One reader replied, “A sacred marriage is when couples intentionally invite God to join and bless their union and commit to live their married lives to honor and bring glory to Him. I say ‘intentionally’ because anyone can hire a preacher to ‘do their wedding’ or go to the Justice of the Peace at the courthouse for a “legal” marriage.”
Another wrote, “Sacred is defined as ‘dedicated to a religious purpose.’ I think a marriage is sacred because it is an act of worshiping God. It displays love, compassion, forgiveness, teamwork, service etc. daily. Love alone comes from God.”
And a third stated, “Ok….sacred is a good Bible word…..but today who really knows what it means? When we attended the Song of Solomon study, one thing that stood out to us was the idea of marriage being holy and not a mechanism designed to make you happy.”
Recognizing that, as Christians, we are people of the Word, we seek to follow Biblical mandates regarding our life and actions. The Bible does provide guidelines for marriage. What constitutes a Biblical Marriage? Many responded with the concept that marriage is between a man and a woman only, but others went deeper.
“A Biblical marriage is a promise before God between two equally yoked Christians,
your home and family as a platform for ministry.” Another wife responded with, “You have to remember God’s place in your marriage - your marriage isn’t just about you. Author Gary Thomas suggests that God intends marriage to make us holy more
than He wants for it to make us happy. Too many people divorce because their marriage no longer makes them happy, and they forget (or choose to ignore) the fact that marriage is something in which we persevere in order to glorify God and to grow in holiness.”
Finding the right marriage material is always a big topic, especially in our university town. With hundreds of students in attendance each week, what advice would you give a young single man or woman seeking a Biblical
marriage? This question received many, many answers from wiser older couples, but some very thought provoking answers came from young singles themselves.
Here is some timely advice from a young lady. “My main piece of advice is to never rush God's plans - God has every detail of your life planned out already. We just have to trust. Not everyone is getting married right out of college, and that is okay. Not everyone is called to marriage, and that is okay too. Everyone's journey is different. I know that God hasn't allowed me to meet my spouse yet because God desires me to focus on Him alone. For people who are much younger and beginning to date, I would say be extremely careful. You have to set boundaries from a VERY young age because temptation never sleeps. The things you do now are the things you will one day have to reveal to your future spouse.”
Another single wrote, “Embrace your time as a single person. Don't spend it hunting for the right spouse. Instead, use that time to work on yourself; focusing on becoming the type of woman or man that God desires for you to be. Then when the time is right according to God and if it's his will for you, you will be ready to receive the spouse God has prepared for you.”
“DON'T SETTLE! Too many people are quick to get married for all the wrong
“Pract ice serv ice, love,
and forgiveness .
Be wi l l ing to share
what God is doing
in your l i fe dai ly.
Use your home
and fami ly as a
p lat form for ministry.”
P.C. & BARBARA MCLAURIN
STATUS: MARRIED ALMOST 45 YEARS
TIPS FOR A LONG-LASTING MARRIAGE
1. It's OK to disagree, and you will do it
in a civil (and perhaps even "lovingly
humorous") manner.
2. Ask God daily, what can I do to make my
spouse's day better?
3. Know that one of the best ways to love
your children is by loving your spouse.
12 F E B R U A R Y 2 0 1 5 | I s s u e 2
reasons. (ie. It's the next step after college; We've been dating for so long; all my friends are getting married; my clock is ticking and I want a family; pressure from family and friends; He'll take care of me; I love him/her; we've already slept together so we might as well; things will be better once we're married; etc.).
Marriage is so much more than having kids, being in love, sex, etc. It's a partnership for LIFE! If you base your decision to get married just on a feeling, then you're basing it on sinking sand. Feelings change. Looks change. Finances change. People change. So, when two people decide to marry, it needs to be because that's the point God has lead each of them to. Let it be a God-decision, not a personal decision. You're heart may fail you but God never will.”
A young man, wrote, “The best advice I have received is that you must have the courage and the backbone to pursue a Biblical marriage. Do not settle for someone who is not centered on God’s word or who is selfish. It may take longer than you think, but if you persist, you will find it. Do not give up on your pursuit, and don’t accept anything less than a sacred, Biblical marriage. I am currently taking my own advice here!”
Anyone who tells you their marriage is perfect is not telling you the truth. The theologian Martin Luther once said, "Good God, what a lot of trouble there is in marriage! Adam has made a mess of our nature. Think of all the squabbles Adam and Eve must have had in the course of their nine hundred years. Eve would say, 'You ate the
apple,' and Adam would retort, 'You gave it to me.'" Contemporary writer Zig Ziglar wrote, “Many marriages would be better if the husband and the wife clearly understood that they are on the same side.”
So what are some tips for a long - lasting marriage? Again, we received many wonderful responses to this question.
• Build a friendship - it's truly a comfort to journey through life with one's best friend.
• Forgive often, and remember how often you have been forgiven by God.
• Pray together.
• Set clear boundaries for extended family members' input. Learn to lean on each other, not on anyone else.
• Look for ways to serve each other.
Be accepting, and trust God to work. Ruth Graham Bell said, "It's my job to love Billy; it's God's job to make him good."
We learn from mistakes, from our own and those of others. Here is one surprising but very honest answer. “GREAT COMMUNICATION!! That was the hardest for us and a large cause for the divorce.”
Another common answer was to stay centered on the Word. One wife wrote, “Ponder the smaller Books of the Bible -- Philippians, Hebrews, Colossians, James and John for their nuggets of wisdom and answers. Memorize ones that answer your heart-felt questions. Read the verses out loud to yourself; you will hear and this re-enforces what you are reading.”
Here’ another great suggestion: “Share life, dreams, desires often. Carve out time to just be together! Make special memories of things you enjoy doing together. I read several years ago…. Make Saturdays a memory, don’t clean house, mow the yard, wash clothes, and do regular task. If you are 40 one has probably already lived half of the Saturdays one will ever have. Do something special together... take a day trip, go hiking, go to a concert /play, visit a garden, go antiquing together, go camping or take a walk in the woods, go to a game with special friends, pack a bag, get in the car and go somewhere ….ask,. where do you want to go and go…..Make a memory together!
CLIFTON & CATHY CURTIS
STATUS: MARRIED 29 YEARS
Each person needs to recognize his or her
complete dependence on God as he or she
lives life and grows as part of the couple. The
foundation also needs to be sure--the rains
and the storms will come, but the marriage
built on God's Word will stand the onslaught.
(Matthew 7:24-25)
BUZZ & ALICE BENNETT
STATUS: MARRIED 13 YEARS
It's the only covenant you make outside of the
covenant you made with the Lord when you
became saved. So it's a covenant relationship.
It’s a pure union that demonstrates how Christ
loves us. If we are called to serve others in our
covenant relationship with Christ, then we are
called to serve our spouse in our covenant of
marriage.
F B C S TA R K V I L L E . C O M 13
We had some beautiful responses from widows and widowers. Let’s close with a reminder that the time to work on a marriage is today, for we are not promised tomorrow.
“Our marriage was not a perfect one and there were times I wanted to throw in the towel and leave. Work out your problems! We did... and when the doctor told my husband he only had three to six months to live, he looked at me and said, ‘We’ve had a GOOD life.’ Enough said - to be able to see that all the hard work we put into that marriage came to a loving end. Yes, we did have a good life but not without GOD…and not without trying. Faith, Hope and Love and the Greatest of these is LOVE.ˮ
Since I read this article, we have tried to do this and have made some wonderful memories and trips together.”
A question of 21st century gender roles in a marriage provoked two separate responses. Some replied with thoughts on same-sex marriages: This issue is “very complicated, but the Bible teaches there is nothing new under the sun! LGBT situations really hurt and cause confusion (Satan's work). Sin is sin, BUT we are to love the sinner and hate the sin. If we run off family when there is divorce, LGBT situations, etc how can we witness to them? Condemnation is not love. This takes a fine line and MANY prayers of Christian friends to help those in any painful relationship.”
Others thought of the male-female roles within a marriage: “Marriage is a partnership which means you have to help each other out. There may still be roles that people think a woman should do or a man should do, each couple has to look at their situation and decide that. There is not a one answer for all people. Again it comes back to “two shall become one”. If God is in the center of the marriage, 21st or 22nd, or 19th century does not matter, with God’s guidance, a couple will want to help each other around the house, with the kids, with whatever every day issues that come up.”
One man wrote, “I think we have distorted the roles and do not understand the Biblical role. I will never forget an example a friend gave to me.. He and his wife would discuss decisions as partners. However, when it came time for the decision, she made him make it. He tried to pass the choice to her on one occasion and she told him, “you are not passing your responsibility on to me for this decision.” He told me that he felt the full weight of his decision before God. It was a sobering reminder to me of the heavy responsibility that the husband has in leading his family in a Godly fashion. While it seems to some that the man is lord, nothing could be further from the truth. When a husband can realize that his decisions are accountable to God and that his family is his responsibility before God, it should make us cowards and stay on our knees.”
NATHAN BALL / STATUS: SINGLE
As a single young man I am pursuing marriage
from a Biblical perspective because I simply
believe that His way is best. I love the verse in
Colossians 1:17 that says "He is before all things
and IN HIM all things hold together." I think a
lot of marriages in America are falling apart
because they are built more on emotions than
on the solid foundation of the Bible. A Biblical
example of true love is given to us in Christ's
love for the church. I hope to love my wife
and my family one day with this type of love
that is committed and focused on something
greater. That's what I think Biblical love is all
about. A surrender and an understanding that
everything is created for the glory of God
above all else.
Below are a few great ways of being intentional and getting creative with your next date night. Here are a few suggestion.
• Date Night in a Box. Gather your spouse's
favorite movies, snacks and games for a
night in!
• Kid Swap. Find another couple to watch
your kids so you can spend time together
on the town or a quiet night at home.
Then find a night where you can watch
the other family's kids!
• Ultimate March Madness Date. Fill out
your brackets and get ready for a little
competition!
• Date Night Exchange. Plan a romantic and
fun evening for another couple as they
plan one for you!
For more great ideas for your date nights check
out Pinterest.com and search FBC Starkville.
MARRIAGE RESOURCESBelow are several recommended resources
for single and married couples.
• Love and Respect
- by Dr. Emerson Eggerichs
• The 5 Love Languages
- by Gary Chapman
• The Meaning of Marriage
- by Timothy Keller
• When Sinners Say I do
- by Dave Harvey
• New Rules for Love, Sex & Dating
- by Andy Stanley
DR. TOM JENKINS currently serves as our Associate Pastor of Music and Media. You can connect with him on Twitter @DrTJenkins or on The City.
DATE NIGHT IDEAS
14 F E B R U A R Y 2 0 1 5 | I s s u e 2
GIVEF B C S TA R KV I L L E
B Y M A R K YO U N G
F B C S TA R K V I L L E . C O M 15
hen people arrive at First Baptist Church on any Sunday morning, they will be sure to find someone waiting to greet them as they enter through the doors for worship. The Guest Services or ‘greeter’ ministry of FBC longs to make sure this happens.
The team of smiling faces that make up this ministry use the gifts that God has given them in
order to serve the body of believers at FBC.The mission of this ministry is to prepare people for worship and
Sunday School. This team of greeters seeks to accomplish this by giving each person a warm welcome, putting a smile on each and every face, and joyfully helping members and guests in any way possible.
James Henley, Chairman of Ushers and Greeters for the Sanctuary, said, “If someone doesn’t have a smile, it’s our job to give them one.”
James shared that putting a smile on a person’s face starts at the front door, where a greeter will be sure to open the door, shake hands, and greet the attendee by name. If a person is lost and does not know where to find a Sunday School class or does not know where to sit as he or she walks into the crowded sanctuary, a greeter is there to help this person find his or her way to a classroom or guide this person to a few open seats during worship service. For this reason, James explained, that greeters need to know where each Sunday School class is located throughout the church.
In addition, many church members attending the second service may take for granted the cleanliness of the sanctuary. This is credited to the diligent service of the guest services ministry. Between services, they are there to walk up and down the aisles and pick up any trash left in the pews, place the hymnals back in place, and make the sanctuary look neat and clean just as it did for the first service.
Grady Mitchner and Cathy his wife have been serving in the greeter ministry for over 20 years. You can find them located in the
HOW CAN I JOIN THE GUEST SERVICES MINISTRY?If you would like more information on joining the Guest Services
Ministry please contact Emily Washburn at (662) 323-5633 or email her at [email protected].
MARK YOUNG has served as our Youth Ministry intern since 2012. You can connect with him on Twitter @MPYoung17 or on The City.
Applegate foyer greeting and helping people as they walk to worship or Sunday school.
Grady shared that the greeter ministry seeks to give each person special, personal attention.
“We want them to feel like they’re the only person,” said Grady. No matter if you are a member, visitor, or university student,
the greeter ministry will see to it that you receive a warm, friendly welcome and a smile to go with it.
Grady said, “We want people to feel at home.”Each greeter can be spotted on Sunday wearing a large name
badge. If you see one, feel free to ask for help of any kind. They are there to warmly assist you.
God longs for each member of the church to give of himself and herself in ministry. At First Baptist, we are always looking for eager and willing people to be a part of the guest services ministry. With the opening of the new Children’s Building, there has never been a better time to serve your church in this ministry.
SERVING THROUGHGUEST SERVICES MINISTRY
We l c o m i n g p e o p l e t o F B C S t a r k v i l l e .
16 F E B R U A R Y 2 0 1 5 | I s s u e 2
or two weeks during the summer of 2014, Mitsy Bailey and a team of five others from FBC Starkville followed the Lord’s call to travel to
East Asia. While there, they met with and encouraged a group of college-aged believers.
During their time, the team had the opportunity to worship with these young believers and join with them in small group Bible study. With tears in her eyes, Mitsy shared that worshiping with these believers “gave [her] a picture of what Heaven would look like someday.”
Mitsy found that her eyes were opened to how often we take the blessings in our lives
GOF B C S TA R KV I L L E
B Y K I M B E R LY K E E L
for granted. She explained that, “there’s so much that [we] could do without,” and by the time she came home, she was met with “Redefined priorities.”
Her advice to anyone considering following the Lord’s call to spread the Gospel overseas is simple: “go.” She also asks that our family at FBC Starkville pray for these students “not to lose faith, to put God first, and always to go back to the Bible for instruction.”
Beyond encouraging fellow believers, Mitsy had the opportunity to interact with non-believers as well. She admitted that the people over there are “starving for the message” of the Gospel. From her experience, she was reminded that “we don’t need to hide our light – we have a responsibility” – and that responsibility is to show the love of Christ to those around us.
KIMBERLY KEEL is a senior marketing major from Atlanta, GA. You can connect with her on Twitter @kimbokeel14.
A JOURNEY TO EAST ASIA
F B C S TA R K V I L L E . C O M 17
CWJC is a ministry of the WMU and is sponsored
by the GTBA. CWJC provides scripturally based
job and life skill training and Bible study for
women from Clay, Lowndes, and Oktibbeha
counties. The Spring classes for both Level 1
and Level 2 are underway. Our volunteers and
donations come from Christians in the GT
community. We thank God continually for the
many ways FBC and its members support this
ministry. If you are looking for a ministry that
impacts women in our community, please call
Rita Usher at 662-722-3016. Please pray for
CWJC and how God would lead you to help.
The purpose of the Women on Mission groups
at First Baptist Church is to challenge believers
to understand and be radically involved in
the mission of God. Since missions is ministry
outside the church, these groups concentrate
on needs in our community and the world.
In February, the Houston Mission Group
will share God's love with the residents of
Montgomery Gardens through a Valentine's
Day Party. The International Friends Group
will host a Valentine's Day Party for the
internationals to whom they minister using this
opportunity to share God’s love with them. The
Reed Mission Group is collecting items needed
for crafts requested by a missionary in Italy for
use in their ministry of sharing God's love.
If you would like more information about
connecting with one of these groups, contact
Marion Duncan, 323-6448.
MISSION SPOTLIGHT
2015 MISSION OPPORTUNITIES
FORT COLLINS, COAUGUST 2-7
STORYLINE CHURCH
CHILDREN'S BASKETBALL CAMP
EAST ASIAMAY 10-20
RELATIONAL/COLLEGIATE OUTREACHSIGN UP DEADLINE IS FEBRUARY 22ND.
*PARTNERSHIP WITH CALVARY BAPTIST CHURCH
GTBA WORLD CHANGERS
JUNE 22-26GOLDEN TRIANGLE
YOUTH MISSION TRIPJUNE 22-26
MISSION FIRST
JACKSON, MS
More information and opportunities to come in the months ahead. Contact Nathan Taylor for more details at [email protected].
FAMILY NIGHTFEBRUARY 8 | 5:00 PM
The February family mission project will
focus on an outreach partnership we have at
College Station Apartments. Several of our
university students moved into this complex
with the intention of reaching out to their
neighbors, especially the international
population that lives in the area. We will be
putting together Valentine’s Day goodie
bags that these students will pass out to
their neighbors.
Thank you for taking part in this special
opportunity that we have to reach the
nations here in Starkville! Attend this
wonderful, eye-opening event!
FEBRUARY MISSIONOPPORTUNITY
ORPHAN CARE MINISTRY TRAINING
SATURDAY, FEBRUARY 28
1:00-5:00 PM | OUTREACH CENTER
If you have interest in being part of the creation
of FBC’s orphan care ministry, join this
training with Rick Valore of 200 Million Flowers.
Please contact Nathan Taylor with questions
18 F E B R U A R Y 2 0 1 5 | I s s u e 2
ave you told your spouse that you love them? Chances are, you have! According to the book The Five Love Languages, by Gary Chapman, saying
the words “I love you” to your spouse is important, but how you show that love can be the key in effectively communicating your love to your significant other.
In his book, Chapman identifies five ways that individuals best express and receive love. Chapman refers to these ways as “love languages.” These five love languages are: Words of Affirmation, Quality Time, Receiving Gifts, Acts of Service, and Physical Touch. Understanding these love languages, identifying your own love language and that of your mate, and speaking each other’s preferred language are the ways in which marital love can grow and endure, and will keep your spouse’s “love tank” filled.
Here is a brief description of the five different love languages, some simple ways to show love to someone whose language is being described, and what should be avoided when dealing with a person who speaks one of these languages.
WORDS OF AFFIRMATION: The person who best feels love through this language places a high value on the words that are either spoken or written to them. Compliments, encouragement, kind words, praise, words of affection, and thoughtful hand-written notes will really show this person that they are loved. Conversely, criticism, mockery, or cutting remarks—even made in jest—should all be avoided with the person who feels love best through Words of Affirmation.
QUALITY TIME: The individual who needs Quality Time with their spouse to feel loved needs one-on-one, face to face, uninterrupted time in order to have their emotional needs met. Taking walks together, quiet dinners, and trips away will make this type of person feel loved. And for the most part, it is the time together, and not the activity itself, that will speak most loudly to this person. Long periods of time apart should be avoided when one spouse has Quality Time as their primary love language.
RECEIVING GIFTS: This is the person who feels love best when someone gives him or her something. More specifically, the person who feels most loved by receiving a gift does not want a gift that is a payment for something they have done or a bribe to get them to do something, but instead they will feel most loved when they receive something simply because the other person wants to give it to them. And to this person, neither size nor cost will necessarily matter. Wildflowers picked alongside the road, given with care, are enough! Moreover, failing to give a gift for a special day or anniversary to someone for whom Receiving Gifts is their love language should be avoided.
ACTS OF SERVICE: The person for whom Acts of Service is their primary love language will feel the most loved when someone helps them or does things for them—without any strings attached, nor any expectations that they will give of their time in return. Random acts of kindness, helping out with house or yard work, or simply running errands for them will really tell them that they are loved. Above all for a person whose primary love language is Acts of Service, one should never ignore his or her requests for help, nor neglect this person in order to help out someone else.
PHYSICAL TOUCH: For this individual who requires physical touch in order to feel loved, kisses, hugs, cuddle-time, pats, touches, holding hands, and snuggling will speak most clearly. They need physical touch each and every day and without it, they may feel physically depleted. Withholding physical touch in anger will have a profound negative effect on this person, and should be avoided.
In general, all of these different ways of showing love should be present in healthy marriages. Most people have both a primary and a secondary love language, and will tend to show love to his or her spouse in the way that they themselves want to be shown love. However, learning how one’s spouse best receives love will insure that each spouse’s emotional needs are being met and that each partner is communicating their love clearly in a manner that their spouse will understand.
Want more information? Read Gary Chapman’s book The Five Love Languages. You can also visit the website: 5lovelanguages.com for an online assessment of your own love language. Parents, this information can also be used to show your child that you love them. See either the website or the book The Five Love Languages for Children, by Gary Chapman and Ross Campbell.
CHARITY GWALTNEY has served in Children’s Ministry at FBC since 2004.
You can connect with her on Facebook and The City.
BY CHARITY GWALTNEY
B O O K R E V I E W :
The 5 Love Languages
F B C S TA R K V I L L E . C O M 19
OUR CHURCH FAMILY
CONGRATULATIONS TO• Phillip and Amanda Coleman on the birth of their precious baby
boy, Ethan Foster Coleman.
• Adam and Amy Knight on the birth of their precious baby girl, Natalie Knight.
SYMPATHY TO• Straton Karatassos and family, on the death of
wife Harriet Karatassos.
• Jim and Phyllis Tompkins and family, on the death of Jim’s mother.
• John and Leanne Long on the death of Sarah Long.
• Mac & Judy Moody and family on the death of Mac’s aunt Inez Boyles.
• Jody and Catherine Ray and family, on the death of Jody’s father.
• Dr. Jerry & Diana Turner and family, on the death of Jerry’s Aunt.
• Polly Earnest and family, on the death of husband Sam Earnest.
• Friends and family, of Leona “Topsy” Wells.
• Dinah Jenkins, on the death of her Aunt Carolyn.
GIVING REPORT
JAN. 4 | $38,729.56
JAN. 11 | $25,798.70
JAN. 18 | $33,242.20
JAN. 25 | $21,373.87
SUNDAY SCHOOLATTENDANCE FOR JANUARY
JAN. 4 | 804
JAN. 11 | 903
JAN. 18 | 968
JAN. 25 | 965
LUNCH BREAK MENUS
FEBRUARY 4Baked chicken breasts,
loaded mashed potatoes, green beans,
green salad, rolls, and dessert.
FEBRUARY 11Soup and salad bar,
bread, crackers, and dessert.
FEBRUARY 18Spaghetti, steamed broccoli,
salad bar, garlic bread, and dessert.
FEBRUARY 25Meatloaf, mac and cheese,
turnip greens, rolls, and dessert.
20 F E B R U A R Y 2 0 1 5 | I s s u e 2
KIDS
PARENT ORIENTATIONFEBRUARY 1 | 9:00 AM
2ND FLOOR OF CHILDREN'S BUILDING
FBC KIDSWEDNESDAY NIGHT | 5:45 PM 2ND FLOOR OF CHILDREN'S BUILDING
All 1st - 6th Graders are invited to join us this semester as we learn to study God’s Word and hide it in our hearts. We will have games, activities and more each Wednesday! You won’t want to miss it!
CHILDREN'S CHURCHFEBRUARY 23 | 8:30 & 11:00 AM2ND FLOOR MULTI-PURPOSE ROOM OF CHILDREN'S BUILDING
PARENTS PAGE
UPCOMING EVENTSSWEET TUESDAYFEBRUARY 3 | 7:00 PMHOW SWEET!
You don't want to miss this "sweet" social, dipped in chocolate! We will also be preparing Valentines for delivery to residents of our local nursing homes. Home of Mitsy Bailey, 20 Lakes Blvd.
FAMILY NIGHTSUNDAY, FEBRUARY 8 | 5:00 PM OUTREACH CENTER
Join us as we begin the evening with Family worship and a mission project. We will focus on an outreach partnership we have at College Station Apartments. We'll be putting together Valentine’s Day goodies bags that these students will pass out to their neighbors.
PRESCHOOL ROTATION
TRAINING SESSIONFor all who volunteer on the Preschool Rotation at 8:30 am or 11:00 am.Attend one of these sessions in the Fellowship Hall:
• Sunday, Feb. 15 | 5:00 pm
• Wednesday, Feb. 18 | 7:00 pm
SENIOR ADULT VALENTINES BANQUETFEBRUARY 12 | 11:30 AM | $5
Charles Shelton, an Elvis impersonator, will be our entertainment and a pork loin lunch. We hope you will join us!
LADIES NIGHT OUT
FEBRUARY 27 | 6:00 PM
All ladies of FBC are cordially invited to FBC Women's Ministry Ladies Night Out, a time to grow in our love of the Lord and each other and have lots of fun, too! This "grow and go" event will be hosted in various homes of our First Baptist Ladies all over Starkville! To sign up go to fbcstarkville.com.
SPORTSMAN'S BANQUETMARCH 1 | 5:00 PM
STARKVILLE SPORTSPLEX | COST: $5
The FBC Men's Ministry desires to unite men and boys in the Starkville community as we celebrate the outdoors and share the gospel of Jesus Christ. Admission includes a pulled pork meal. Our guest speaker this year is Bryant Bush; he is one of the chaplains for the Atlanta Falcons and is an incredibly dynamic speaker. We will have a drawing to give away several firearms to adult attendees and gift cards to youth attendees.
PRESCHOOL
PARENT ORIENTATIONFEBRUARY 1 | 9:00 AM2ND FLOOR OF CHILDREN'S BUILDING
ZIP FOR 3S-K5SUNDAY NIGHTS | 5:00 PM1ST FLOOR MULTIPURPOSE ROOM
Zip into God’s Word on Sunday nights with Bible study, music, crafts, recreation, snacks and a ton of fun!
MUSIC, MISSIONS, AND MOREWEDNESDAY NIGHTS | 5:45 PM1ST FLOOR CHILDREN'S BUILDING
Worship God Wednesday night with a little bit of singing and basic music skills, a little bit of missions and missionary stories, a little bit of Bible learning and crafts, and a whole lot of fun!
YOUTH
SUPER BOWL PARTYFEB. 1 | 5:00 PM | OUTREACH CENTER
The Super Bowl is one of those events each year where folks are looking for a place to get together to watch the game and hangout with friends. Our Outreach Center will be open from 5:00 pm until 30 minutes after the game for teens to come and watch the game. We’ll provide food & drinks. At halftime, we’ll have a guest speaker share his testimony and present the Gospel.
This month
be intentional
with your time
by adding to
your calendar
opportunities to
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NEW SUNDAY SCHOOL LOCATIONSSTARTING SUNDAY, FEBRUARY 8 | 9 :45 AM
FIRST FLOOR
LA
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Mens
STAIRS
STAIRSCHILDREN’S
BUILDINGENTRANCE
R100FELLOWSHIP HALL
R102 R103
R104
R105R106R107
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R203R204
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R301
R302 R303 R304
R305R306
FIRST FLOOR
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A108A110
A111A112A113
A113A
A11
2B A111A
A109
A115
ELEVATOR
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A317
A31
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STAIRS STAIRS
APPLEGATE BUILDING
FIRST FLOORGrace/Ruth Class | A108
Bain Class | A109
Denson Class | A110
Friendship Class | A111
Johnston Class | A111 A
Naomi Class | A112
Mary/Martha Class | A112 B
Dorcas Class | A113
Joy Class | A113 A
Berean Class | A115
THIRD FLOORSingles Class | A310 A&B
Herring Class | A311
Usher Class | A312
Bushby Class | A314
Ladies Class | A315
M&M Class | A316
Empty Nesters Class | A317
International Class | A318
RAY BUILDINGFIRST FLOORGraduate Class | R102 - R103
University Class | R104 - R107
SECOND FLOORNearly & Newly Wed Class | R202
Young Married Class | R203
Open Door Class | R204
THIRD FLOORWashburn Class | R301
Taylor Class | R302
Nicholas Class | R303
Knight Class | R304
Reed Class | R305
Cook Class | R306
*Lydia Class meets in the chapel
P E R I O D I C A L S
106 East Lampkin St. Starkville, MS 39759
FBCSTARKVILLE .com | 662. 323. 5633
FBCSTARKVILLE
@FBCSTARKVILLE
@FBCSTARKVILLE
Sunday, March 1st | 5:00 pm | Sportsplex | $5
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