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Introduction Meditation, Mindfulness
and InsightSession 4
Compassion
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Compassion - quotes
It is one of the most beautiful compensations in life…
that no man can sincerely try to help another without helping himself.
……….Ralph Waldo Emerson
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Unguided Meditation
Choose any meditation that you have learned and Diaphragmatic breathing Body Scan Mantra
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Awareness
NegativeCircumstance
NonJudgmental
Skip theDrama
Forgiveness
InsightClarity
Psychology
CompassionAwareness/Mindfulness
Equanimity
AcceptanceOf things we
can not change
InspirationSacred
StrategicActions
Stop Be Mindful Be ConsciousDetach Disidentify Observe Think
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Do not suppress emotionsAnger, hatred, grief, jealousy!
Suppression Pushing things away that we don’t want Is counter to acceptance / letting go / non judgmental
What you can do: Slow down your breath which calms and centers you Become aware of it
Focus and observe how it impacts you physiologically – Breathing? Tightness in Chest?
Break apart the thoughts and emotions and find the core issue
Observing an emotion is different from BEING DRIVEN by it
Goal is NOT to ignore the emotions but avoid reactivity – (actions that you would regret)
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Balance - A violin string should not be too tight or too lose
Emotional driven vs. Emotional suppression Acceptance vs. striving Judgmental – Condemnation
Insightful decisions for YOU based on healthy values
Avoid judging OTHERS - Do not be dismissive of values that are not yours
Avoid creating unnecessary drama Compassion for others and for yourself
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Pain is inevitable
Suffering is optional
PainCircumstances=========
Losing loved onesIllness
Financial LossPhysical PainRed Lights
AttitudesPersonal Filter
Personal History Complexes======
Sense of Doom=== OR ===
Sense of Well Being
Suffering======
Mental AgitationHopelessnessAnxiety, fear
Anger
Equanimity
OR
OR
Drama=====Stories of
VictimizationInadequacy
Clarity===========Open Perspective
ConfidenceOptimismPresenceThe drama is a magnification of reality!
90% of the things that we worry about never happen
Min
dfu
lness
Medita
tion
The blue circles areThe self inflicted
suffering
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The process of this class. Develop Mental Discipline – through
meditation practice Your experiences during the week should
constantly reinforce Understanding of Awareness – “The observer”
As long as you ARE CONSCIOUS of your emotional state, you ARE aware
Letting go – Acceptance – Non Judgmental No additional Drama that perpetuates mental agitation
which is the second arrow - Unnecessary Suffering No Dogma – No answers
Patient observation of your actions and reactions will lead you to answers that are best for you!!!
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Compassion
Love anything. Hate anything. The effect you have on the external might be negligible, the effect on you, monumental.
.... Cheri Huber – The Key
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Compassion from a meditative perspective
Compassion inspires you to do things for others that you wouldn’t do for yourself.
The person being compassionate receives tremendous benefit.
It is an experience You feel it in your heart It can be triggered by
Holding a new born child Experiencing first love.
Can become an instinctive response to others Others can sense your compassion through
your body posture, smiles and “vibes”
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Compassionate Communication
Paying attention and really listening is a way to honor others.
Be sensitive to others “real” agenda. Are they asking for:
Advice or sympathy? Even well intentioned advice can be taken for
condemnation Be aware!!! – Beware - Are your responses?
Helpful Honest and truthful For the right reason With the proper tone at the right time Showing interest in them or changing the spotlight to
yourself?
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Compassion
“All of those who are unhappy in the world are so as a result of their desire for their own happiness.
All of those who are happy in the world are so as a result of their desire for happiness of others.” …. Shantideva
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Compassion as an antidote to anger
Anger and hatred change us physiologically and HARM US
Finding ground for compassion The more thoughtless others are the more likely it is
that they are suffering. Battering husbands –were abused children Focusing on compassion when appropriate liberates
you from the impact of hatred. This doesn’t mean that you have to love and
admire everyone the same. We all feel differently towards Mother Theresa and
Hitler
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Compassion – stretching it It is easy to have compassion for a starving
child but hard to have for someone who insulted you.
Go where you can go and go slowly1. Loved ones2. Liked ones3. Neutral ones4. Mild dislike5. Dislike strongly
We are neutral to most people and this is the easiest area to grow our compassion.
Sometimes just noticing, listening to and respecting others can be extremely supportive.
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Disinterested Love and Compassion
Without the need for reciprocity. People sense the difference and
respond accordingly We need to be honest about it to
ourselves.
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Not a door mat!! Now when we talk about how we should
develop tolerance towards those who harm us, we should not misunderstand this to mean that we should just meekly accept whatever is done against us. [Laughs] Rather, if necessary, the best, the wisest course, might be to simply run away--run miles away!
--from "The Art of Happiness: A Handbook for Living" by His Holiness the Dalai Lama and Howard C. Cutler, M.D.
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The taste of compassion: An experience
It’s a feeling like calmness and serenity that can be cultivated by: Quotes / Prayers Compassion Meditation
Receiving love from others Sending love to others
Chanting Feeling a direct connection to those around you.
Ritual - Zen Pictures of loved ones
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Experience love and compassion
Just look at the picture and breathe slowly.
Feel a sense of love and compassion
Everyone you ever met was once this precious.
Keep this picture in mind as you meet everyone.
Now close your eyes
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Compassion Meditation Sit in an erect and dignified posture. Bell - May all beings.. – relax all parts of your body – bell Visualize something that represents unconditional love, light,
love flow, all of the body. Bell - Breathe naturally – feel your body filled with love. Feel free of regrets about the past and fear of the future On the in breath breathe in light and love. On the out breath – compassion the waves of love to someone close to you, to yourself, to neutral people, heal your pain, Send it to the whole world. Show the next foil and read it before Bell, stretch, open eyes, bring your awareness to the next
activity.
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Shantideva On Compassion
Altruism, that ocean of great good,That seeks to place all beings in the state of bliss, And every action for the benefit of all: Such is my delight and all my joy.
Through these actions now performed, And by all the virtue I have just amassed, May all the anguish of every living being Be wholly scattered and destroyed!
For all those ailing in the world, Until their every sickness has been healed, May I myself become for them The healer, companion, the medicine itself
Raining down a flood of food and drink, May I dispel the ills of thirst and famine! And in the ages marked by scarcity and want, May I myself appear as drink and sustenance!
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ContinuedMy body, thus, and all my goods besides, And all my merits gained and to be gained, I give them all away withholding nothing, To bring about the benefit of beings. I freely offer up my existence to all beings, Though I be harmed, insulted or disparaged, May I be free from all traces of self-cherishing!
So let beings do to me Whatever does not bring them harmWhenever they catch sight of me, Let this not fail to bring them benefit.
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Question
Comments on your experiences through the picture, meditation or quote?
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Guidelines for meditation Make it a habit
At least once a day even for one or two minutes Find a balance between – Trying too hard and laziness Non judgmentally - Eliminate unnecessary drama
Be kind to yourself! There are times when you need to grieve and to be angry,
don’t judge / condemn yourself for being human! You are your own authority - Go at your own pace Fill your mind in the first stage of meditation Every meditation is a good meditation Beginners mind Be patient Don’t make meditation one more thing that makes you
feel bad about yourself!
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Important!!! Meditation an opportunity to practice
letting go
Meditation produces minor annoyances Boredom, Itchy nose, wandering minds
Annoyances become a chance for you to find equanimity in spite of these circumstances
You don’t want these negative things But you can be calm, focused and relaxed in spite of them See if you can create an internal or external smile anyway
Every time you get upset think: “Wow, what a great opportunity to practice letting go!!”
Meditation provides the opportunity to practice your ability alter the state of your mind.
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Meditation -- Doing it right
“If your energy is continually going into Patient self observation From moment to moment, Whether your attention is on the breathing or
on other objects, and You are bringing your attention back each
time it wanders without giving yourself a hard time
Then you are doing it right”
.. Jon Kabat-Zinn
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Stressful Situations Simple Meditation techniques can make a
TREMENDOUS impact to your physiological responses.
Become aware of your body – your breathing and posture The Body Scan is GREAT for this
Breath slowly - Slow down your breathing and heart rate. Sit up Straight Release the tension in your body. These things stop the adrenalin from flowing.
Leads you to a sense of calm and equanimity – in spite of the circumstances
When you are calm you can think more clearly and make better decisions.
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Dealing with Physical and Psychological Pain
Make the pain the point of focus and explore it Does it change over time How broad is the sensation How severe What is the pain tingling, hot cold Does it pulsate If it is intense and you need to change position make the
change slowly and mindfully Why does this work?
Your are not dramatizing the situation you are experiencing it
The experience is usually not as painful as the drama we create.
For psychological pain notice the impact on your body, tightness in chest, breathing, any sensation.
Get out of your mind and rejection and into your sensations.
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Guided Body Scan Close your eyes Ring Bell. May all beings have-Relax feet-Sit in an erect and dignified
posture, posture, back, head, hands, tongue, feet Bell Move focus of your attention to your breath, On the in breath focus on , On the out breath focus on -You are in a
nurturing environment Gently move the focus of your awareness to your toes Feel the sensation, hot, cold, tingling, nothing Now Gently move … feet, calves, thighs, back, chest, hands, arms, If your mind wanders…. Nothing to do, nothing to become Is there any pain… Relax, Be kind to yourself Move focus of your attention to your breath, Nothing to do, nothing to become On the in breath focus on , On the out breath focus on Keep eyes closed, bell, move fingers toes, Maintain your awareness.
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Guided Body Scan Close your eyes Ring Bell. May all beings have-Relax feet-Sit in an erect and dignified
posture, posture, back, head, hands, tongue, feet Bell Move focus of your attention to your breath, On the in breath focus on , On the out breath focus on -You are in a
nurturing environment Gently move the focus of your awareness to your toes Feel the sensation, hot, cold, tingling, nothing Now Gently move … feet, calves, thighs, back, chest, hands, arms, If your mind wanders…. Nothing to do, nothing to become Is there any pain… Relax, Be kind to yourself Move focus of your attention to your breath, Nothing to do, nothing to become On the in breath focus on , On the out breath focus on Read the poem on the next page. Keep eyes closed, bell, move fingers toes, Maintain your awareness.
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"You do not have to leave your room.Remain sitting at your table and listen.Do not even listen, simply wait.Do not even wait, be quite still and solitary.The world will freely offer itself to you to be
unmasked,it has no choice, and it will roll in ecstasy
at your feet" --- Franz Kafka