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HABIT 5#:SEEK FIRST T0 UNDERSTAND,
THEN TO BE UNDERSTOODBased on Stephen Coveys7 Habits of Highly Effective People
ListeniBy Jasyanthri Nadaraja
Knowledge Sharing_28092012
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Ineffective: I listen with the intent to replyEffective: I listen with the intent to
understand
Principle#: To communicateeffectively, we must firstunderstand each other
Behaviour:1. Diagnose Before
Prescribe2. Listen Empathically3. Seek to be understood
from the othersperspective
Results:1. Greater influence with
others2. Solutions to complex
problems3. Clarity on real issues4. Faster problem solving
Key to effective interperso
nalcommunication
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Autobiographical Listening
Levels of Listening:
(1) IGNORING / SPACING OUT
(2) PRETEND LISTENING
(3) SELECTIVE LISTENING
(4) ATTENTIVE LISTENING
Mind wandering / daydreaming
Not paying attention butpretending to Hearing only what you want to
hear Listening with intent to reply
v 5TH Level The Highest Form ofListening
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Filtering what others sayTypical Responses:
AutobiographicalResponses
i. Advisingii. Probing
iii. Interpreting
iv. Evaluating
- Counsel & OfferSolutions- Asking from our referenceframe- Explaining based onexperience- Judging
e.g. Experiences; Stories; Prejudices/ Biases;and Values
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Wanting to listen and wanting tounderstand the other person
Through Empathic Listening
Definition: EmpathyWHAT:(i) Putting yourself in another persons
situation
HOW:(ii) Reflecting what the other person feelsand say it in your own words
Effective Listening
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* Discern when not necessary or appropriate
Empathic ListeningEMPATHIC LISTENING RESPONSES
(1) Repeat what was just said
(2) Rephrase content Repeat in your ownwords
(3) Reflect feelings - Express what you think the
other feels.(4) Rephrase and reflect feelings (combine 2 &3)
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Listening As ACommunication
Tool
Empathic listening is about usingALL these aspects of communication
at the same time.
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Reading the SignsOur body language, tone of voice, and feelings communicate more loudly
than the words we use.
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Listening with your eyes
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Judge content, not delivery The Poor Listener: Tunes out if delivery is poor The Good Listener: Judges content, skips over
delivery errors.
Keep your mind open The Poor Listener: Reacts to emotional words The Good Listener: Interprets emotional words;
does not get hung up on them
Listen for ideas The Poor Listener: Listen for facts The Good Listener: Listen for central theme
Keys to Effective Listening
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Resist distractions The Poor Listener: Is distracted easily The Good Listener: Fights or avoids distractions;
tolerates bad habits in others; knows how to
concentrate.
Hold your fire The Poor Listener: Tends to enter into argument
The Good Listener: Doesnt judge untilcomprehension is complete
Thought is faster than speech; Use it
The Poor Listener: Tends to daydream with slow
ContKeys to EffectiveListening
THE END
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THANK YOU
FORLISTENING!
Q&A???