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Presentation content developed by:
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PleasantPositive
UnpleasantNegative
High
Emotion
En
ergy
Low
How are you? Mood Meter
Energy ___Energy ___
Mood ___Mood ___
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Mood Meter ResultsMood Meter Results
EmotionE
nerg
y
4PleasantUnpleasant
High
Emotion
En
ergy
Low
Sad
HappyAngry
Calm
Content
Pleased
Afraid
Annoyed
Bored Tired
Surprised
Does it matter how you feel?
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Success factors: Must have
IntelligenceIntelligence MotivationMotivation Technical KnowledgeTechnical Knowledge
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Success factors: Helps to have
Specific skillsSpecific skills Certain experiencesCertain experiences Emotional IntelligenceEmotional Intelligence
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You might have heard of EI / EQ
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The science of EI …
Began in 1990 by Salovey & MayerBegan in 1990 by Salovey & Mayer
“Mayer, Salovey, Caruso’s approach sets the gold standard.”
- Dr. Catherine Daus & Dr. Neal Ashkanasy
Emotional intelligence is "the ability to monitor one's own and others' feelings and emotions, to discriminate among them, and to use this information to guide one's thinking and action".
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Emotional intelligence theory
IDENTIFYIDENTIFY
USEUSE
UNDERSTANDUNDERSTAND
MANAGEMANAGE
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Emotional Intelligence is:
A hard skillA hard skill A form of A form of
intelligenceintelligence
WhereWhere You think about You think about
emotions, andemotions, and Emotions help you Emotions help you
thinkthink
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Emotional Intelligence relates to:
Greater empathy for othersGreater empathy for others More positive behaviorsMore positive behaviors Less ‘negative’ behaviorsLess ‘negative’ behaviors Better quality social Better quality social
relationshipsrelationships Enhanced communicationEnhanced communication Social supportSocial support Vision, charisma, teamwork …Vision, charisma, teamwork …
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Emotions have meaning and importance
1. Occurs due to a change in the environment1. Occurs due to a change in the environment2. Occurs automatically and quickly2. Occurs automatically and quickly3. Changes attention and thought3. Changes attention and thought4. Certain physical 4. Certain physical feelingsfeelings5. Motivates behavior 5. Motivates behavior
Serves an Serves an adaptiveadaptive function function
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Emotions drive relationships
The primary function of emotion The primary function of emotion is to mobilize the organism to is to mobilize the organism to deal quickly with important deal quickly with important interpersonal eventsinterpersonal events..
Events include: threats, attacks, Events include: threats, attacks, alarms, courtships, social contact, alarms, courtships, social contact, isolation, greetings, appeasement, isolation, greetings, appeasement, dominance, submission, and play.dominance, submission, and play.
Robert Plutchik, psychologistRobert Plutchik, psychologist
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Emotions are universal …
Darwin Darwin The expression of the The expression of the emotions in man and animalsemotions in man and animals (1872) (1872)
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Emotions have universal meaning
HappinessHappiness Gain something of valueGain something of value
SadnessSadness Lose something of valueLose something of value
SurpriseSurprise Something is happeningSomething is happening
AngerAnger Blocked from getting somethingBlocked from getting something
FearFear Possible threatPossible threat
DisgustDisgust Rules are violatedRules are violated
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English Deutsch Français Italiano EspagnolAfraid Verängstigt Apeuré Impaurito Atemorizado
Angry Ärgerlich en colère Arrabbiato Enfadado
Happy Glücklich Heureux Felice Feliz
Sad Traurig Triste Triste Triste
Surprised Überrascht Surpris Sorpreso Sorprendido
Disgusted Ekelerfüllt Dégoûté Disgustato Asqueado
Calm Ruhig Calme Calmo Calmado
Bored Gelangweilt Ennuyé Annoiato Aburrido
Interested Interessiert Intéressé Interessato Interesado
Excited Erregt Excité Eccitato Excitado
A common emotional language A common emotional language ……
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But, there are individual and group differences
Emotional sensitivity:- Ability to pick up emotional signals - Varies from person to person
Specific causes of emotions:- Can vary from person to person and across groups
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Specific causes may differ
DisgustDisgust
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Emotional Differences
When we When we expressexpress these emotions: these emotions:
- - Differs from culture to culture Differs from culture to culture
- These are called - These are called displaydisplay rules rules
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Emotional display rules
Emotions Emotions expressed at workexpressed at work
AngerAnger HappinessHappiness
53%
19%
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Do you know if you are emotionally intelligent?
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People are poor judges of their own intelligence and very poor judges of their emotional intelligence
Self-rated IQ Self-rated IQ versus IQ testsversus IQ tests
Self-rated EI Self-rated EI versus EI Ability versus EI Ability testtest
Self-Report EI x MSCEIT Scores
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Measuring EI: MSCEIT
Mayer-Salovey-Caruso Emotional Mayer-Salovey-Caruso Emotional Intelligence TestIntelligence Test
MSCEIT is an IQ test for emotionsMSCEIT is an IQ test for emotions
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Objective EI Tests
Have “right and wrong” answersHave “right and wrong” answers Objectively scoredObjectively scored Based on fact that emotions are dataBased on fact that emotions are data
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Identify Emotions
Anger Anger
SadnessSadness
HappinessHappiness
DisgustDisgust
FearFear
SurpriseSurprise
Non
eN
on
e
Perh
ap
Perh
ap
ss Pre
sen
Pre
sen
tt
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Your score:
Anger Anger
SadnessSadness
HappinessHappiness
DisgustDisgust
FearFear
SurpriseSurprise
Non
eN
on
e
Perh
ap
Perh
ap
ss Pre
sen
tP
resen
t
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Use Emotions
Anger
Sadness
Happiness
Which emotion would be most useful Which emotion would be most useful to have someone agree to help you to have someone agree to help you with a difficult and time-consuming with a difficult and time-consuming project?project?
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Your score:
Which emotion would be most useful to have someone agree to help you with a difficult and time-consuming project?
Anger
Sadness
Happiness
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Understand Emotions
1. A client feels frustrated.1. A client feels frustrated.
2. Repeatedly asks you for information.2. Repeatedly asks you for information.
3. He is getting annoyed.3. He is getting annoyed.
4. You ignore the request.4. You ignore the request.
5. The client will feel: 5. The client will feel:
Disgust
Anger
Sadness
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Your score:
1. A client feels frustrated.1. A client feels frustrated.
2. Repeatedly asks you for information.2. Repeatedly asks you for information.
3. He is getting annoyed.3. He is getting annoyed.
4. You ignore the request.4. You ignore the request.
5. The client will feel: 5. The client will feel:
Disgust
Anger
Sadness
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Manage Emotions
The client keeps asking for more and more The client keeps asking for more and more information about the same product. How information about the same product. How effective would each of these actions be in effective would each of these actions be in addressing client concerns?addressing client concerns?
Address each of the issues in order of their importance.
Find out what is making the client anxious.
Demonstrate that the concerns are unfounded.Demonstrate that the concerns are unfounded.
Not
At
All
A L
ittl
e
A L
ot
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Your score:
Address each of the issues in order of their importance.
Find out what is making the client anxious.
Demonstrate that the concerns are unfounded.Demonstrate that the concerns are unfounded.
A L
ittl
e
A L
ot
Not
At
All
The client keeps asking for more and more information about the same product. How effective would each of these actions be in addressing client concerns?
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Applying Your EI
High EI: apply your abilitiesHigh EI: apply your abilities
Low EI: Low EI:
DevelopDevelop
CompensateCompensate
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Identify Emotions
Identify emotions in self and othersIdentify emotions in self and others Express emotions accuratelyExpress emotions accurately
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Identify Emotions
We often don't share feelings information.We often don't share feelings information.
We may cover up how we feel in order to protect We may cover up how we feel in order to protect others. others.
We say that everything is fine when it is not.We say that everything is fine when it is not.
We claim that we're not worried, when we are.We claim that we're not worried, when we are.
However, such deception is easy to spot. However, such deception is easy to spot.
We don't protect our clients or family in this way, but We don't protect our clients or family in this way, but instead, we create an atmosphere of mistrust. instead, we create an atmosphere of mistrust.
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Relevance
Enhances communicationEnhances communication Enhances quality of Enhances quality of
relationshipsrelationships Source of info about your clientSource of info about your client Sends information to clientSends information to client
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Identify Emotions Questions
Pay attention to emotion cues?Pay attention to emotion cues? Pick up on emotional signals?Pick up on emotional signals? Read people accurately?Read people accurately? Accurately express my emotions?Accurately express my emotions?
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Identify Emotions Exercise
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Use Emotions
Use emotions to help you think in Use emotions to help you think in different waysdifferent ways
Match the right emotion to the taskMatch the right emotion to the task
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Use Emotions
What Negative Moods Do For ThinkingWhat Negative Moods Do For Thinking Provide us with a clear focusProvide us with a clear focus Details examined more efficientlyDetails examined more efficiently Search for errors is enhancedSearch for errors is enhanced
What Positive Moods Do For ThinkingWhat Positive Moods Do For Thinking Expands our thinkingExpands our thinking Helps generate new ideasHelps generate new ideas Encourages us to consider Encourages us to consider
possibilitiespossibilities
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Use Emotions: Specific influence of emotions
Emotion ImpactAnger Fight
Disgust Reject
Fear Avoid
Sadness Give up
Surprise Pay attention
Happiness Explore
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Relevance
Emotional connectionEmotional connection Communicate, motivate and Communicate, motivate and
inspireinspire EmpathyEmpathy
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Use Emotions Questions
Consider how client’s moods impact Consider how client’s moods impact his decision making?his decision making?
Is this the right time for this Is this the right time for this discussion?discussion?
Match the mood to the situation?Match the mood to the situation?
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Use Emotions Exercise
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Understand Emotions
Understand the causes of Understand the causes of emotionsemotions
Understand complex emotionsUnderstand complex emotions
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Relevance
Insight into othersInsight into others What bothers them?What bothers them? What worries them?What worries them? What makes them What makes them
happy?happy?
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Understand Emotions Questions
Do I truly understand the client?Do I truly understand the client? Understand myself?Understand myself? Do I engage in emotional what-if Do I engage in emotional what-if
planning before important meetings?planning before important meetings?
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Understand Emotions Exercise
Emotion Cause You Other
AngerAnger ObstacleObstacle
DisgustDisgust DistastefulDistasteful
FearFear ThreatThreat
HappinessHappiness Gain somethingGain something
SadnessSadness Lose something of valueLose something of value
SurpriseSurprise Unexpected eventUnexpected event
InterestInterest
? ?
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Manage Emotions
Emotions contain data, so stay open Emotions contain data, so stay open to feelings to feelings
Good decisions and actions require Good decisions and actions require emotion.emotion.
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Relevance
Ironically, the feeling that something is real, Ironically, the feeling that something is real, true, and right comes not from the true, and right comes not from the reasonable neocortex, but from evolutionary reasonable neocortex, but from evolutionary older, older, emotionemotion centers of the limbic cortex. centers of the limbic cortex. MacLeanMacLean
Far from interfering with rationality, the Far from interfering with rationality, the absence of emotion and feeling can absence of emotion and feeling can break break down down rationality and make wise decision rationality and make wise decision making almost impossible. making almost impossible. DamasioDamasio
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Manage Emotions Questions
Pay attention to what your feelings Pay attention to what your feelings are communicating to you?are communicating to you?
Stay open to unpleasant feelings?Stay open to unpleasant feelings? Get at the deeper meaning of client Get at the deeper meaning of client
communications?communications?
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Manage Emotions
Consider a few recent decisions.Consider a few recent decisions.
Have you ever made a decision where the Have you ever made a decision where the logical arguments were strong, but you logical arguments were strong, but you had a bad feeling about the situation?had a bad feeling about the situation?
Have you made a good decision where Have you made a good decision where you had a feel for the right thing, even you had a feel for the right thing, even though the numbers did not support the though the numbers did not support the decision? decision?
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A blueprint for emotions…
IDENTIFYIDENTIFY
USEUSE
UNDERSTANDUNDERSTAND
MANAGEMANAGE
What emotions are you, and others, experiencing?
How are these emotionsdirecting and impacting thinking?
What caused these emotions? How might these emotions change?
How do you manage your emotions and other’s emotions?
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Manage Emotions Exercise
Emotional Blueprint CaseEmotional Blueprint Case
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Key Points:
A focus on emotion does not A focus on emotion does not make you weak or vulnerable.make you weak or vulnerable.
Emotions are dataEmotions are data
Signals about relationshipsSignals about relationships
Use the BlueprintUse the Blueprint
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An emotionally-intelligent conclusion
Does it matter Does it matter how we end a how we end a meeting?meeting?
A phone call?A phone call? A conference?A conference? This sessionThis session?? PleasantUnpleasant
High
Low
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Positive, energetic
Generate ideasGenerate ideas
Consider possibilitiesConsider possibilities
PleasantUnpleasant
High
Low
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An emotionally-intelligent conclusion
I feel great.I feel great. I am full of I am full of
energy.energy. I am I am jumpingjumping
for joy!for joy!
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