Why Good People Fail eBook Beta

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This book is presented to:

Why Good People Fail

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Also by LLOYD LUNA

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(DVD)Do You Have A Life of Your Own?

(DVD)Break Me Up

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L L O Y D L U N A

WHYGOOD

PEOPLEFAIL


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LLOYD LUNA

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Copyright 2011 by Lloyd A. Luna. All rights reserved.

Published by LLOYDLUNA Corporation, Manila, Philippines.

Cover Design 2011 by LLOYDLUNA.

Photos by: Great Image Services Corporation

No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or

transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying,

recording, scanning, or otherwise, except as permitted, without either the prior

written permission or authorization by the publisher.

Requests to the publisher for permission should be addressed to The Publisher,

LLOYDLUNA Corporation, 1745 Dian St., Makati City 1235 Philippines, Tel. (632)

505.5336, Fax (632) 846.1089.

Limit of Liability/Disclaimer of Warranty: While the publisher and author have used

their best efforts in preparing this book, they make no representations or warranties

with respect to the accuracy or completeness of the contents of this book and

specifically disclaim any implied warranties of merchantability or fitness for aparticular purpose.

Neither the publisher nor author shall be liable for any loss of profit or any other

commercial damages, including but not limited to special, incidental, consequential,

or other damages.

LLOYDLUNA also publishes its books in a variety of electronic formats. Some

content that appears in print may not be available in electronic books. For more

information about LLOYDLUNA products, visit our web site at www.lloydluna.com

ISBN: 9789719347439

Printed in the Philippines.

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http://www.lloydluna.com/http://www.lloydluna.com/http://www.lloydluna.com/


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Dedication


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Introduction


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Introduction

Chapter 1:

Always be careful

19

Chapter 2: Define who you are 37

Chapter 3: Change your perspective 45

Chapter 4: Qualify your responses 53

Chapter 5: Strengthen your connection 59

Afterword

139Acknowledgment 143


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Introduction

Have you ever met a good personkind,

humble, lovely, loving, generous, sweet,

caring, hardworking, thoughtful, patient,

open-minded, dependable, reasonablebutbroke?

Sure, you have. Its because in this world,

there are just too many of them. You see

them often while youre at home, in the

office, in coffee shops, in school, in the

church.

They are everywhere, too. Chances are you

work with them as well. Some of them are


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your friends, your classmates, your

associates, your seat mate, or your golf

buddy.

The truth is we see these people everyday.

And in several occasions, they approached

us for some advice. Whether we are the bestperson to counsel or not, we try to appease

them and share some words with them.

Thats why you are friends. Where those

words are coming from doesnt matter. We

are there to comfort them.

However, we also know that in some cases,

we are on the same place as they are thus

facing the same set of problems, sometimes

even harder.

Whoever is asking for an advice from

whom isnt as important getting an adviceitself. Most of the time, we get them for

free over lunch or coffee.

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Despite those wisdom you get from people

you talk to, the goodness that you have in

your heart, and the countless opportunities

out there, something seems to always go

wrong.

Why is that?

Is it because one just luckier than the other?

Is it because one was born with riches while

the other with ditches? Is it because one has

a complete education and the other is a high

school dropout?

Why is it that regardless of our status in

life, we sometimes find ourselves hopeless

and helpless? While money can solve many

problems, it can create problems which it

cant solve. While popularity matters to

most people, it cant guarantee anything.There were celebrities who opened up a

business only to get bankrupt after. There

were politicians who also put up their own


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but failed. We know of people with PhDs

and masters degree who ventured into

something and suffered the same fate.

How can you connect the idea that many

people fail despite their goodness?

So the question now becomes, Do we even

have to be bad to succeed? Unfortunately,

bad people, like the good ones, fail, too.

So whats the deal here? What do you need

to be to succeed? Do you need to be good

or bad?

While the answer to the question, Why

good people fail? seems to be complicated,

I found a simple yet profound answer.

Surprisingly, the answer doesnt suggest

that you need to be bad to succeed becausethey are many bad people who fail, too.

Good people fail because they are careless.

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This book is fundamentally about what

people thought doesnt matter but would

have proved to be one of the many causes

of success from bottom up.

Let me tell you a centuries-old story.

Once upon a time, there were two good

people who dreamed of having their own

house. Because of the goodness of their

heart and probably the clarity and

authenticity of their intention, they were

blessed with all the resources they need to

build what they desire. There came the

money and the people they need for their

dream house.

These two good people were given an equal

opportunity to put up their house whereverthey wish. They can choose to build in the

mountain, in the shore, in the cityliterally

any place they please.


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The first good person decided to build his

house immediately. I think I already have

everything I need. I will start building my

dream house, he said.

Because he has the finest building materialsand the best people at his disposal, he was

able to build an incredible house in no time.

In the morning, he would see the sun rising.

At night, the majestic view of the sky is

incomparable.

Indeed, it was something worth envying

about!

But he built his house on the sand.

The second good person decided to build

his house, but not too fast. He gathered histeam of equally talented people and

discussed how theyd use every resource at

their disposal. They looked around the city

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and carefully studied the location where

theyll build the house. It took them

sometime and it took them a lot of work.

Then, there started the construction true

enough after a couple of months, they are

able to build such an amazing place to livein. He enjoyed the view and hes satisfied

with the result.

He built his house on the rock.

One day, a strong typhoon came. The house

of the first good person was not spared from

it. It was blown away to the seas. He was

left with none. On the other side of the

valley, the second good person found his

house braving the storm, withstanding the

gusty wind. It stood still and he was safe.

Two good people given with equally

talented workers and incredible resources

landing on different fate. Why is that?


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Because one doesnt have to be bad to fail.

He only needs to be careless.

Everyday, we are faced with choices that

we thought dont matter as far as our future

is concerned. We thought its still far andyes, we thought little things dont really

count. We dont care about lifes tiniest

details. We feel they would only waste our

precious time.

Really, there seems to be nothing wrong in

disregarding little things or little decisions.

Its only until we are down to the bottom

when wed realize that sometime in the

past, we forgot the things would have

mattered.

Its too late.

This book aims to explain to people the

reason behind every failure and why good

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people, while they are truly good, fail and

get broke. Understanding the reason and the

things people should be mindful about can

help prevent them from the dangers that

carelessness brings.

As you read on, youll discover smallthings that build grand successes and small

mistakes that cause heartbreaking failures.

Because this book is also about the things

you must fix if youre already sick and tired

of being good but broke, you can expect

some tips and unsolicited advice that cover

carefulness.

I believe that carefulness is to success and

carelessness is to failure.

I know you are a good person. Most peopleare. But when you get sick and tired of

being good but broke, you need to start to

care to the smallest of details.


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Thats because good people only succeed

when they put an extra care on to

something. That includes caring for your

life, for the people you love, and for the

world.

The Author

Manila, Philippines

September 10, 2011

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CHAPTER 1

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Alwaysbecareful

Carelessness is the root of all failures whetheryou are a good or a bad person.

The story of two good people with the sameblessing but with different fate is a lesson

about carelessness. Im sure somehow, we

lived a life similar to either the first or

second good person.

When I was still a kid during my first boyscout camp experience, I may have

forgotten everything that was taught except

for one. The scout leader said whatever

happens, remember your ABC, which

stands for Always Be Careful.

I didnt know that such ABC works well in

real, older life. I thought its only at that

camping site in Inaclagan Village, Gumaca,

Quezon that carefulness was a golden rule.


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Regardless of what you do and why you do

it, you only have to be careful to avoid as

many failures as you can. Just a seemingly

simple mistake can ruin everything that

youve built.

It seems like your level of care defines your

level of success. No matter how bright,

talented, and skillful you are, a little

carelessness may take you down the drain.

Before you knew it, youve already lost

almost everything that youve built and

mattered. Im sure it hurts.

Most of us dont pay attention to details as

much as we pay attention to bigger pictures

like whats in and whats hot at the moment.

Wed rather focus on the dream than takesmall steps to achieve it. When you say you

want to become an engineer, you dont stay

at home, meditate, attract every positive

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energy from the universe, and things like

that.

Instead, you go to school and get that

degree.

While inside the school, you dont meditate,attract every positive energy from the

universe, and things like that.

Instead, you pick up the books and read.

Pick up the pen and write. Study your

lessons and recite.

With enough prayer and planning, Im sure

youll get the degree. But certainly not by

focusing on your goal but on little steps that

lead you to the goal.

Like any bad person, we can easily be takenout of the world.


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A couple of years ago, my mentor and I was

talking about life. His idea of life is about

avoidance. When we walk in a mall, he

said, you dont try to bump to the person

coming your way. You pick another space

so that you dont bump at each other.

The thing about life, he stressed, is that like

any one else, it takes only one bullet for us

to die.

Such conversation reminds me to keep it

cool while in the middle of a heavy traffic.

If I become impatient and cut here and

there, I may find someone getting really

pissed off. If the person has a gun, he may

go down the car and confront me. Should

he choose to point the gun to my head and

pull the trigger, my being a good person

may not deliver me from probable death.

My impatience in a traffic situation may

take me to the grave no matter how good I

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!It takes only one

bullet for someone

to die whether he

is good or bad.


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am. Thats a simple mistake causing a total

failure.

How many people die everyday when

crossing the street? Unthinkable. Do you

think most of the casualties are good

people? I think so. But why did they die?The reason can be mostly attributed to lack

of care. If you dont follow traffic rules,

youd rather be ready to face whatever

circumstance is there for you including

death by carelessness.

Really, why do we have to be careful?

Its not just we want to avoid as many

failures as we can. We also want to go on

with our life looking for possible success

somewhere in the journey.

Am I suggesting that carefulness is one key

to success? Well, yes. If at all you so

wonder why some good (and bad) people


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make it. It seems like our bottom line is

highly relevant with care.

Let me tell you something.

The difference between an ordinary and an

extraordinary person isnt the result of theirperformance. Besides, the result is simply

defined by how they did it. The difference

lies on the operating prefix, extra. In most

cases, they put extra care, extra effort, extra

time, and extra attention to what is visibly

insignificant to ordinary eyes. That little

extras practiced every day makes them

extraordinary.

The news is they were not born with

extras. Nobody was born with such a

concept. We learn about it. We apply it

because we know something better willhappen when we do. Interestingly, it is by

choice that they add something to what they

do like a little concern if you will.

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Is it easy to put a little extra care on your

project? Of course. If youve been out for

the longest time, would you want to have an

extra time for your loved ones? Sure. If you

know youd benefit from something, would

you put an extra effort to make it work? O,absolutely.

However, if you knew also that you

wouldnt get anything from it, would you

still choose to put it an extra care?

Probably not.

Its because almost by default, whether we

accept it or not, most of us are trained to

ask, Whats in it for me? before we

perform a certain task.

Such philosophy is a philosophy of the

careless. Asking a wrong question yields a

wrong answer. Therefore, being lousy about


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our thinking process means losing some

parcels of success and happiness. In fact, it

takes you away from your goal.

Most people think that by doing something

as instructed, only the one giving the order

benefits from it. In real life, though, whenwe do a certain task, its not other people

who only benefit from it. If you think about

it for a second, youd realize that everything

youve done in the past have defined who

you are now. That is supposed to be

beneficial for you, too.

But since you think youre not getting

anything from it, you lost that moment

when you can exercise your own creativity

that can take you a step closer to your goal.

Whether you did it with love or hatred, you

still did the work. The result shows all thedifference and the people whove seen it

can tell who you are base on what youve

done.

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A masterpiece isnt made by a heavy heart.

It can only be made by a caring heart.

If you did something against your will, but

did it anyway, youve failed to recognize

the opportunity in it. Every work we take isa chance for us to show our goodness. No

matter where we are. No matter how light

or heavy the work may be.

Can you complain? Sure. However, if you

dont have any other choice but to do it,

whats the point of complaining? Would

that even help you get the job done?

I rest my case.

The thing is we need to be careful with our

philosophy. But what is philosophy?

A couple of years ago when a good old

mentor of mine introduced me to


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!A masterpiece isnt

made by a heavy

heart. It can only

be made by a

caring heart.


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philosophy, I didnt pay much care. What

do I care about Plato or Socrates? For me,

they were too intellectual to follow. Ive

had my philosophy class in college, like

most of us had, and we know how it works.

Its probably one of those boring subjects

next to Mathematics.

Anyway, he had these lessons about life,

business, and success, which I was not sure

at the time if it can have any bearing on

what Id like to do. Nonetheless, I listened.

Please take note that I listened, which didnt

mean that I understood what he was trying

to explain about philosophy.

But somehow and somewhere along our

conversation, I came across a beautiful,

sound, and profound statement that goes

like this:

If you have a question, dont look for

the answer. Look for the reason

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because when you find the reason,

youll automatically find the answer.

If youre in the middle of something and

youve heard such a wonderful, highly

intellectual line, would you not stop for a

while and ask, Sorry, what was it again?

I did.

Thats when I appreciated the role of

philosophy in my life. Philosophy, I

realized, is my set of beliefs. I do things in a

certain way based on those beliefs. If

something you tell me to do is not within

that set, I wont do it wholeheartedly. Or,

probably Ill do it but with doubt and

suspicion. Why? Because my self tells me

its not supposed to be that way or its not

how it should be done. It just wouldntconnect.


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Philosophy is about asking questions and

challenging answers so we can come up

with a better answer, a better view, and a

better understanding of life.

Boring, is it not? Yes, but certainly

necessary.

Thats when I started to work on my belief

system. I challenged my assumptions. I

challenged what Ive learned from all those

years in school. I challenged my view in

life.

I started to ask questionin fact, the right

questions.

Why am I doing this? Why am I here? Im a

good person yet Im in pain, and scarce, and

frustrated with my life. I have the skills butwhy cant make it somehow. Im not a bad

personnot a thief or a murdererbut why

cant I live my dream?

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Then, all questions pointed me back to

care. I may be a good person but because

I didnt care as much as I needed to, I dont

become anything. I let each day pass

without getting much from it. I engaged in

word war instead of broadening myunderstanding of people. I engaged in mud

slinging instead of building someone based

on his goodness. I engaged in unproductive

activities like wasting my time and little

money in the mall going around and

watching as many movies I can afford

instead of reading books and getting into

seminars.

Why would someone like me come up with

such a poor judgment? Because I didnt

care. And, I felt nobody would bother to

care either.


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When I started to care, like some of us do, I

slowly see the opportunities around. That

little care caused huge changes in my life.

A simple idea of carefulness will surely

work at least as far as our survival is

concerned. If youre a driver, youd ratherbe careful. A devastating accident is just

somewhere in the road. If youre a doctor,

youd better be careful. You can claim a life

in seconds. If youre a teacher. Be careful.

Even without you knowing it, youre

shaping a new generation.

This is being careful. This can take you to

where you want to be. This will make you

become what youd like your self to be.

Always be careful.

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CHAPTER 2

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Define

who

you

are

If youre a good person, its not automaticthat you know your self well. Therefore,you create a room for failure.

Your idea about who you are and what youare made of guides every step you take

toward success or failure. That means if

your self-image is low, I can assume that

your life is somewhere in the low as well.

I have an interesting fable to tell you tomake you realize how important knowing

your self-image is. By that, I mean knowing

really who you are. Why? Because what

you believe about who you are is shaping

your destiny!

One day, a scorpion looked around at the

mountain where he lived and decided that

he wanted a change. So he set out on a

journey through the forests and hills. He


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climbed over rocks and under vines and

kept going until he reached a river.

The river was wide and swift, and the

scorpion stopped to reconsider the situation.

He couldn't see any way across. So he ran

upriver and then checked downriver, all thewhile thinking that he might have to turn

back.

Suddenly, he saw a frog sitting in the rushes

by the bank of the stream on the other side

of the river. He decided to ask the frog for

help getting across the stream.

"Hellooo Mr. Frog!" called the scorpion

across the water, "Would you be so kind as

to give me a ride on your back across the

river?"

"Well now, Mr. Scorpion! How do I know

that if I try to help you, you wont try to kill

me?" asked the frog hesitantly.

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"Because," the scorpion replied, "If I try to

kill you, then I would die too, for you see I

cannot swim!"

Now this seemed to make sense to the frog.

But he asked. "What about when I get closeto the bank? You could still try to kill me

and get back to the shore!"

"This is true," agreed the scorpion, "But

then I wouldn't be able to get to the other

side of the river!"

"Alright then how do I know you wont

just wait till we get to the other side and

THEN kill me?" said the frog.

"Ahh...," crooned the scorpion, "Because

you see, once you've taken me to the otherside of this river, I will be so grateful for

your help, that it would hardly be fair to

reward you with death, now, would it?!"


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So the frog agreed to take the scorpion

across the river. He swam over to the bank

and settled himself near the mud to pick up

his passenger. The scorpion crawled onto

the frog's back, his sharp claws prickling

into the frog's soft hide, and the frog slidinto the river.

The muddy water swirled around them, but

the frog stayed near the surface so the

scorpion would not drown. He kicked

strongly through the first half of the stream,

his flippers paddling wildly against the

current.

Halfway across the river, the frog suddenly

felt a sharp sting in his back and, out of the

corner of his eye, saw the scorpion remove

his stinger from the frog's back. Adeadening numbness began to creep into his

limbs.

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"You fool!" croaked the frog, "Now we

shall both die! Why on earth did you do

that?"

The scorpion shrugged, and did a little jig

on the drownings frog's back.

"I could not help myself. It is my nature.

Its who I am."

Then they both sank into the muddy waters

of the swiftly flowing river.

Your personal belief about who you are is

defining your destiny. If anything, you need

to be clear about your identity because we

all now know that we behave based on it.

People who live in depressed areas are

more likely to stay there unless they changetheir belief about who they are.


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On the other hand, people who lived in

exclusive villages are more likely to stay

there so as long as they can sustain it.

Why is this so?

Because they have a different picture aboutwho they are. The main reason people live

in a depressed area isnt because they are

incapable of getting away from it but

because they see themselves unworthy of

anything more than what they have at the

moment.

Do you know of a person who are given

with something but refused to accept it

because he feels he doesnt deserve it?

In many occasion, we have seen this

happening right before our very eyes.Because we feel unworthy, it would be a

slap on our face when we take it. Therefore,

we say no. Frankly, I wouldnt blame

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anybody for choosing this action because

its only logical to get what you deserve

and therefore refuse what you dont

deserve.

But the issue is no longer about your

acceptance or refusal. The issue, becausewe are now philosophical, boils down to

what you can do to deserve something.

This is where we step back and start anew.

This time, with an extra little care.

Remember, if you dont care about your

self-image, expect no one else to care.

We begin by examining the portrait weve

created and believed in about who we are

for the longest time.

Take a case of a poor (or rich) person mostlikely to remain poor (or rich) unless he

decided to change his picture in his mind.

Everyday, he brings such picture with him


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everywhere he goes. So, when he talks to

someone, he talks based on what he thinks

he is.

When you have a conversation with a poor

person, you may not probably see a genuine

confidence in him not because hes bad butbecause the mental picture he has about

himself is sad, dirty, unworthy, messed up,

and poor little guy. These things simply tell

him, You cant be confident. Look down.

Be apologetic.

Its a different case when you start a

conversation with a person who grew up in

an exclusive village. His mental picture

about himself might be loved, valued, and

taken care of. Now, thats an instant source

of confidence that tell him, You can be

confident, kid. Look directly to the eyes.Look up.

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This is a case of two good people with

different mental picture about who they are.

Interestingly, our self-image magnifies

reality by a couple of timesthe worse

becomes worst, the better becomes best.

Mentally speaking, that means, if you

belittle your self, you dont belittle your selftwice. You belittle your self more than two

times. So, in our example, the first one

magnifies his emptiness and the other one

his fullness. In the next five years, if say

nothing happens and they dont alter their

respective beliefs, who will fail?

The good news, however, is we can change

the way look at our self instantly. You can

wake up tomorrow morning with a renewed

mental photo about who you are.

Nobody can stop you from creating anddeveloping a brand new mental picture of

your self. It happens inside your mind.


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Feel free to have a self-talk with your self

(in private please), and say, I may not have

more money but Im not poor. In fact, Im

on my way to work on my talent and skills

so I can attract more money any time soon.

The other way of doing that may be, I maynot have expensive clothes to wear today

but this is clean and neat enough and I

smell fine. Im on my way to work harder

on my talent and skills so I can afford to

buy better garments soon.

That can start a build up of a better self-

image about who you are. When you start

changing your belief about who you are,

everything else changes with it.

Besides, you cant afford to forever look

down on your self and feel sorry or youllforever take that downward direction.

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Our self-image influence how we live our

lives. We need to take good care of the

quality of this image because all our actions

seem to depend primarily on such picture. If

you think you are a bad (or a good) person,

youd act think and act like one. Thats it.

Since self-portrait is important, it goes hand

in hand with self mastery. Having a clear

portrait of who you are may be useless if

you dont put anything to work. Thats why

you need to master your self.

Self-mastery is knowing your self more

than anybody else thus having sound clues

on why and how to respond to any given

stimulus at any time so that you achieve

your objective.

In the field, its familiarizing your self withevery weapon at your disposal so you know

what to use in a particular situation.


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In business, its mastering your every

resource, your balance sheet, your numbers,

your markets, your competition, and many

more things in between so youd know

what to do better next.

In politics and governance, its knowingyour constituents, your detractors, your

supporters, the media, government

agencies, instrumentalities and bureaucracy

so you can lead better (and hopefully get

elected again after your tenure).

So no wonder many people would fail

because they dont have an idea about the

resources they have at hand not to mention

that most of them are dont even realize

that they are capable of performing miracles

in their lives.

Lets check why people are so stagnant if

not so going downhill in many cases. One,

they are afraid that something may not

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work rather than being excited if something

goes right. The shadow of fear seems to be

stronger than that of courage. Two, while

they are interested with the reward should

they finish something, it looks like the task

is so overwhelming that theyd rather forget

the reward and pick an easier task. Three, aslong as they are comfortable, they arent

changing anything.

The deal is when youre clueless about your

capabilities, you cant do anything at all.

Its failure by default.

More than two thousand years ago, a Great

Teacher was born. He lived among us so we

can understand what love and care truly

mean. In one of His many teachings, we

heard something about our body as a

temple. My understanding is we need tomake sure that the temple is clean, pleasing,

and presentable. The only time it can

happen is when we take good care of it.


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His coming, I think, gives us a couple of

reasons to always remember who we are

and what we are made of. One, we are

created on His own image, thus, we should

be beautiful. Two, we are first loved, thus,

we can love. Three, we are worth theTeachers life, thus, were not cheap and

unworthy.

We have a spiritual accountability to see to

it that we care about our self-image. After

all, we live our lives based on our identity.

Once youve got a solid identity that gives

you the confidence to achieve your dreams,

always remember who you are.

Whenever I think about my own identity as

an important tool for success, Im remindedby an old fable, The Monkey and the

Dolphin. It reminds me to stick to who I

am.

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A sailor, bound on a long voyage, took with

him a Monkey to amuse him while on

shipboard. As he sailed off the coast of

Greece, a violent tempest arose in which the

ship was wrecked and he, his Monkey, and

all the crew were obliged to swim for theirlives.

A Dolphin saw the Monkey contending

with the waves, and supposing him to be a

man (whom he is always said to befriend),

came and placed himself under him, to

convey him on his back in safety to the

shore.

When the Dolphin arrived with his burden

in sight of land not far from Athens, he

asked the Monkey if he were an Athenian.

The monkey replied that he was, and that hewas descended from one of the most noble

families in that city.


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The Dolphin then inquired if he knew the

Piraeus (the famous harbor of Athens).

The monkey assumed that Piraeus is a man

so it answered, I knew him very well. In

fact, he is an intimate friend.

The Dolphin, indignant at these falsehoods,

dipped the Monkey under the water and

drowned him.

Those who pretend to be what they are not,

sooner or later, find themselves in deep

water.

You dont want to be a good person whos

dying because you fail to define who you

are. You want to be a good person who

knows your self very well without

pretension, hesitation, or reservation.

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CHAPTER 3

Changeyourperspective

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If youre a good person, it doesnt meanthat you have a proper view of the world.

Two good people can have a different view

about the world and the people living in it.

Therefore, its important to always evaluate

our views and check our perspectives

toward something.

How important is your view of something?

Let me share this centuries-old story.

There was once a farmer who owned a

beautiful plot of land at the back of his

farmhouse. It was fenced up, so to prevent

trespassers from entering it.

One fine day, a group of boys decided to

climb over the fence and started to play ball

on that beautiful plot of land.


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This naturally displeased the farmer, as the

boys were trampling on his land and

damaging it.

The farmer walked out into his backyard to

chase the boys away, but no matter how

hard he tried, the boys simply ignored him.

Being a rather old man, he realized after a

while that it was pointless for him to

continue trying.

The boys just would not go away. As so, it

went on and on.

Every day, the boyswould climb over the

fence and play ball on his beautiful plot of

land. This anguished the farmer greatly.

One fine afternoon, as the boys wereplaying on the plot of land, the farmer

walked out to meet with them.

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He didnt say anything. He just gave each

boy a dollar coin and walked back into his

farmhouse.

Naturally, the boys were puzzled.

Nonetheless, they each kept their dollar

coins, and continued playing

ball.

The next afternoon, as the boys were

playing on the plot of land, the farmer again

walked out to meet with them.

He didnt say anything but this time he gave

each of the boys

two dollar coins and

walked back into his farmhouse.

This puzzled the boys even more. Why is

the old farmer giving us money? they

wondered. Nonetheless, they continued

playing ball.

This went on for a few more days.


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Each day, the boys would eagerly await the

farmer to appear from his farmhouse to give

them dollar coins.

True enough, each day while they were

playing ball,the farmer would give each of

the boys one more dollar coin than theprevious day.

This went on for five consecutive days.

However on the sixth day, the farmer

stopped appearing from his farmhouse.

The boysreceived nodollar coinsthat day.

Every one of them went home that evening

disappointed.

On the seventh, eight, ninth and tenthday,

the farmer still did not appear.

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On the eleventh day onwards, the boys

never came back to the beautiful plot of

land everagain.

The story tells us the importance of

perspectivesour view of the world and

everything that happens in it.

During the first days, the boys were

enjoying the game. Later, they were

enjoying the dollars. Its a sudden change of

perspective. When they did, they changed

the entire scene.

The joy of playing ball has become less

important than the joy of getting dollars.

In this age of history, people now have the

access to express such views in many ways.

Technology has leveled the playing fieldamong nations, races, and classes. We can

easily share our views to the world in just a

click of a button.


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At the same time, technology has been also

giving us a hard time in narrowing down

our focus. Media has been deeply

penetrating our individuality giving more

information than we can absorb. In the

process, we lose our sound judgment.Sometimes, we are confused on which to

believe. Some even no longer wants to

believe.

I agree you can be a good person. But

without a proper view of life and the world,

you may fail. Your perspective tells you

what to focus on. Thats why if your

perspective is poorly crafted, based on the

quality of media you are subscribed to for

example, you dont focus of what truly

matters to you. The next thing you know

youre bleeding and desperately failing nomatter how good you are.

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Many people still believe that the world is

unfair. In fact, some even said that life is

unfair. Perhaps.

Why not? People dont always give whom

the credit is due. Many others dont play the

game by the rules. A bunch of cheaters andliars is out there waiting to strike and if you

are caught unprepared, you probably would

blame somebody or something else for

being a victim.

Whoever told you that life is unfair gives us

an impression that at least once in that

persons life, he became a victim.

Our view of the world is mainly influenced

by our experiences with people. In dealing

with people, whether they are your family

or friends or associates, we can only wishthat they treat us fairly. Hopefully, we can

agree on a certain set of rules and

everybody plays by it no matter what.


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But that can only go as far as your ability to

wish is concerned because in reality, while

many wont break the rule, they would

either bend it, work around it, or create a

new rule that makes the old rule irrelevant.

Whether they get a nod from you for thenew set of rules is their call.

When this happens, a good person may find

himself on the losing edge and would

eventually complain. So, instead on

focusing on the game, hes now focused on

the rules, which were just altered a while

ago without his approval.

Once lost, a good person may easily

exclaim, Its unfair! Well, probably it is.

On second thought, probably, its just the

way it is.

The idea of trying, losing, and winning isnt

something new. Im sure we all have a fair

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share of what its like to failin finance,

relationships, academics, business, or

spirituality. Such summary of those often

painful experiences shape our perspectives.

Whatever we have become in our individual

journey is something we figure out on our

own. Im sure many of us have stoppedtrying after failing several times.

If blame game can solve our problem, we

have probably nothing to talk about

anymore. Unfortunately, blame game

doesnt help. Do you blame the economy

for your inability to find a job in a hyper

competitive market? Do you blame your

school for not solidly preparing you for the

workplace? Do you blame your government

for being so corrupt and so negligent of its

people?

Why do you think good people fail in a

struggling economy? Its not because the

economy is struggling. Its because people


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are not valuable enough for companies to

take on board.

Why do you think good people cant easily

find a job after graduation? Its not because

the school didnt prepare them. Its because

the students didnt equip themselves withskills that were not provided by the school.

Why do you think people fail as far a

governance is concerned? Its not because

of non-performing politicians and members

of the bureaucracy. Its because we elect

and put them in the position.

We have tried and failed using the blame-

game formula. In short, if our perspective

leans toward pointing our finger to

something or someone for our misfortune,

then we have no other way to go but down.If our view of life is about the ugliness of

something, then nothing else is beautiful.

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In shaping our perspective, we should learn

to put together the lessons weve learned

from our long list of experiencesgood

and badand start building a stronger

position on a certain life issue. Without a

strong stand, you can easily be swayed and

made believe by influential people aroundyou. Who these people are is something

else. We have to sit down and list down our

values and what we value the most. By

doing this, we can make a wiser decision

should nature decides to make fun out of us

again.

Can you reframe your mind so you can

have a fresh perspective? If you follow the

story of the farmer and the kids, you know

its as easy.

But something is difficult when you areabout to do an easy task. The idea of doing

something easy makes us feel its less

important, thus, we neglect it. Thats one


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reason why we fail in the long term. Our

view of an easy task makes us think that it

can be done later. The result is obviously

inaction.

If we can twist our perspective in many

ways that we havent tried before, our liveswill change dramatically.

Our everyday decision is highly dependent

on what we can take from our archive of

memories. Such collective perspectives, if

crafted carelessly, can bring us more harm

than good.

Put an extra care on how you establish your

logic, how you frame and refine your

perspectives, and how you view the world

and the people around you and sure

everything else will change for you.

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CHAPTER 4

Qualifyyourresponses

A good person who responds poorly to agiven stimulus is a good person whos

failure is at hand.

Have you heard of a person who didnt like

to be successful (or rich) because its hardto be one? My problem with that is nobody

would know if one goal is difficult to

achieve a person hasnt tried to be one yet.

Our responses to a certain stimulus almost

guarantee us of what fate is in store for us.

Take the case of a careless goat in this old

story, The Fox and the Grapes.


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One hot summer's day a Fox was strolling

through an orchard till he came to a bunch

of grapes just ripening on a vine which had

been trained over a lofty branch. "Just the

thing to quench my thirst," it said.

Drawing back a few paces, he took a runand a jump, and just missed the bunch.

Turning round again with a one, two, three,

he jumped up, but with no greater success.

Again and again he tried after the tempting

morsel, but at last had to give it up, and

walked away with his nose in the air,

saying: "I am sure they are sour."

It is easy to despise what you cannot get,

isnt it?

How we respond to everything that happens

in our life is a prelude to what we canachieve in this world. Thats why its

important for good people to revisit the role

of cause and effect in our lives.

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Why do plants, animals, human beings, and

practically all living organisms do what

they do? The answer points us back to our

science subject. When we were still in

grade school, we were taught about

stimulus and response or cause andeffect.

In a day, you make tens and thousands of

responses on tens of thousands of stimuli

around you. If youre not so keen on

qualifying and finding out your response,

you may have been responding poorly in a

supposedly door of opportunity.

That means, your response to an event or a

person can either be your passport to

success or your free ticket to failure.

If you have been responding the same way

on a similar situation or person over and

over again, you cant expect a different


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result unless the stimulus that caused it

responded to your response.

Since cause and effect is a very important

topic for good people to understand, lets go

and discuss it piece by piece.

Stimulus is anything that evokes a specific

functional reaction. In science, it is defined

as a change in an external or internal

environment which causes and organism to

react. In real life, stimulus can be an event

or a person that causes us to move or do

something.

Interestingly, there are two types of

stimulus. One is external and the other is

internal. Lets write down some examples

and make some distinctions.

When you are hungry, you eat. When you

are thirsty, you drink. When you are late,

you rush. When you are caught lying, you

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apologize (or lie again, which is not

recommended).

In the cases above, we respond on an

internal stimulus. In other words, the cause

is internal and therefore not influenced by

an outside force.

When a rabbit gets scared, it runs away.

When you are cold, you put on a jacket.

When it starts raining, you take out an

umbrella.

In our examples above, we respond on an

external stimulus, meaning, what caused the

subject to react comes from the outside of

the subject.

The good news is we can choose how to

respond to any stimulus. We can respondusing either learned or instinct behavior.

Learned behavior are actions we take based

on what we knew from our past while


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instinct are simply natural responses we

take in a given situation.

Talking and reading are basic an example of

learned behavior. Nobody was born who

knows how to talk and read. Animals

behavior to run away from danger is aninstinct because there is a need for safety.

We dont have to remind poor people, who

can only eat once or twice a day, to survive

because survival is an instinct behavior. But

to transition themselves from being poor to

being rich needs

In most cases, we use learned behavior to

respond on something. When we decide

consciously on either getting even or taking

revenge, we can think of probably effect of

such decision. Most good people dontthink about this. The instinct is to get even

and fight back.

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Im not suggesting not to fight back though.

If you feel it is the best thing to do and you

make your self liable to what most likely

will happen, go ahead and make your day.

But the issue isnt fighting back, getting

even, taking revenge, or staying put and

letting things pass. The issue is, Are youprepared to take the consequence of such

action? Will such response make you

anything? What do you become in such

cause-and-effect process? What do you

get from it? Will it worth anything?

Will it cost you something?

Heres what I think is one great learned

behavior in response to, say, an argument or

a fight, both physical and verbal. We should

have learned that getting even is only a

waste of time and energy. Every time we

take revenge, it doesnt guarantee that itwill be to our favor this time. So, whats the

point of getting even? Simple. We fight

back to serve the ego well.


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If we havent learned that revenge brings

more harm than good, we will do it over

and over again because our instinct can

only suggest that once we get aggrieved or

offended, we must fight back.

This is not to say that instinct is wrong. In

many ways, instinct can be a very powerful

choice. However unlike animals, we misuse

our instinct and sometimes use it to justify

our mistakes. Whats better about animals is

they seem to have a discipline in using their

instinct ability to respond.

Let me give you a comparison.

Animals will naturally find or make

themselves a home because they need a

shelter. Some good people would rather goto the government and ask for a shelter.

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Animals will naturally look for food and

water on their own. Some good people

would rather wait for food and water.

Animals will naturally migrate if they feel

they need a new place to live. Some good

people would rather migrate and relocate asmandated by the government, sell the

properties provided for them, and then go

back to the city.

Animals will naturally store food for the

rainy season. Some good people wouldnt

be interested in saving something for the

coming season much less be aware as to

when to store food.

Proper use of instinct can go a very long

way. Your ability to discipline your self in

polishing your responses to any event thatgoes your way will make a huge difference

on how you live your life. Not having

control over those responses makes you


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susceptible to failure regardless of how

good or bad you are.

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CHAPTER 5

Strengthen

your

connections

A good person with a bad connection willlikely fail.

Our ability to get along with people is

important. But whats even more importantis our ability to choose which circle wed

like to belong. You may have thousands of

friends and each of them under poverty line.

You may have a hundred friends and they

live in abundance.

Your circle of friends is telling you two

things: the kind of person you are and the

kind of life you live.


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You see having too many people to share

your pains, suffering, and agony doesnt

mean having the right people to help you

out. It only means they are many and

chances are you are one of them.

The thing is you cant depend much onpeople with the same status as you have.

Uninformed and incompetent people

leading others who are similarly incapable

have proven to be true in centuries. In fact,

one teaching asked, "Can a blind man lead a

blind man? Will they not both fall into a

pit?

And it went on saying, A student is not

above his teacher, but everyone who is fully

trained will be like his teacher."

If you find out how most peoplesurrounding them live their lives, youll

likely discover the way you live your life,

too. And youll have a clue as to where you

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are. In other words, the people you always

associate your self with gives you an almost

precise idea of who you are and what you

can still become.


to be successful (or rich) because its hardto be one? My problem with that is how he

did know its difficult if he has never been

there before. It very difficult for a poor

person to encourage the same poor person

to become rich. He doesnt know how it

feels and looks like. End of story.

How does your connection look like? Who

surround you most of the time? Are they on

to live their dreams or they just dream to

achieve something? Are they really with

you and would want to support you all the

way up?

For some people, these questions may

sound discriminatory. Why not? Why


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question the characters of my friends or the

quality of their lives? They are good people

and they are always there for me. They are

the only ones who understand me. My

secrets are safe with them. They are my

family now and I find refuge in them.

First, I dont say they are bad people. I

always people in the innate goodness of

everyone. Second, I dont say nobody else

can understand you. Third, I dont mind if

they are your family.

Nonetheless, there an opportunity here. Let

me give you some ideas to think about.

How much money they have in the bank

gives you a clue on how much you have.

Youre almost in the same income level.

How determined they are gives you an idea

on the level of your determination. Theirlifestyle is more or less your lifestyle, too.

It means if youre overspending (translate:

spending on top of what you are getting

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every pay day), thats because they are

probably are.

How careless they are gives you a mirror

image of how much you care about your

self, your dreams, and your life.

You only have two choices here: Abandon

the people who keep you from carrying out

your mission and achieving your dreams or

stay with them. Make that call.

In other words, every relationship we create

is a stepping stone to either success or

failure. These stones serve as a building

block of this path.

How you built your connections in the past

speaks about who you are now and how

you plan to build a new path is entirely upto you. Well, every now and then you can

get some people to advise you but please be

careful about what you take because theres


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a huge chance that the person advising you

dont know exactly what you have in mind.

We are in a continuous creation of this path.

Without these relationships or connection,

its almost impossible for us to advance

farther.

Its sad to note that many people destroy

relationship and are very much busy

destroying many others rather than building

their own for reasons like insecurity,

jealousy, envy, or hatred. I know there are

more reasons but I dont think they do more

good to them.

I always believe destroying relationships is

a waste of time. The time and energy you

use to destroy it is the same time and

energy you use to build one.

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If you think your connection isnt helpful,

you dont have to destroy it. Just leave it

there and it will die naturally.

The interesting thing about building a

relationship is that you dont know much

surprises go with it. In no time, youllrealize how small this world is! Thats why

you cant afford not to go out and make that

connection. Every person leads to another.

You dont know when this newfound

connection can come in handy. But Im sure

youll need it sooner than you think.

Without realizing it, people fail because

they build terrible connections. Worse, they

dont know that thats what they are

building!

Now, heres the crossroads: Whichrelationships do we strengthen and which

do we spend a little time on?


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I hope you have a plenty of time to think

about that. Unfortunately, we all have a

limited time so I hope you can decide as

soon as you can.

While in primary school, we were asked to

solve problems in a certain way. Ourteacher gave us the step-by-step process on

how to do it. Lets recall the steps.

First, identify the problem. Second, identify

what are given. Third, identify which

operations to be used. Fourth, solve the

problem. Fifth, compare your answer with

your seat mates. If you have the similar

answer, you may have gotten it right. The

fifth one is optional.

Feeling more mature and therefore more

intellectual than before, we didnt stickmuch with this problem solving method. As

we grow old, we tend to complicate things.

So, our problem solving is no longer a four-

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step-method. We added more steps that

sometimes make us stuck somewhere. But

rationalizing so much and considering

unnecessary details, we get paralyzed.

Good people are not exempted to the rule.

Both good and bad person will haveproblems and will have to solve them. How

do you solve them?

We think that the trend is the main thing. I

other words, we put more value on things of

lesser value.

Watching television seems to be more

important than creating a bonding time for

family. Wed rather turn it on all night than

to have a family board meeting. A family is

an organization. Theres a board and theremust be a meeting.


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The thing is more often than not, we

thought we are still OK and nothing to

worry about. The next thing we realize our

son is into drugs and our daughter is failing

her school subjects.

A simple assumption that youre OKdoesnt seem to matter, does it? But its

carelessness right there. It begins that

process known as failure.

How much time have we spent working on

a day job that pisses us off? Or, a job that

simply pays us twice every month? How

long have we been studying something that

is so far from what we like? Or, taking a

subject that was merely somebody elses

choice? We need an exit strategy.

It seems like staying in a job that we dislikedoesnt matter. Oh yeah, so as long as we

are paid. We put on a very little effort.

Why? We dont love it anyway. Whether

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you perform well or ill, you still get the pay

so why work harder?

Would it matter if you work harder than

your boss? Would someone notice you

when you only do a little? Would anybody

care at least as far as your job is concernedexcept probably for the company owners?

But keeping a job that you are forced to get

along with by your family, your boss, or

your partner in the next five years is

carelessness. Its not sound. Its ugly. Thats

a wasted five years, which you could have

spent on developing something for your self

like, say, an enterprise.

Well, you know, you can charge it to

experience. Of course. You can always do

that. But thats five years. And it meansstarting on a blank canvas. Sure, youve got

lessons in those years, hopefully. However,

why go through the process of trial-and-


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error when you can try to succeed by

simply being aware of your work interest?

And what about our studies

Everything rises and falls on caring. It is the

very foundation of success and happiness.

If you dont care, what happens? You dont

become part of anything. It is only by

showing that extra little care that you

partake in something.

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Acknowledgment

You may be a good person without the

right connection. You may fail.


to be successful (or rich) because its hard

to be one? My problem with that is how he

did know its difficult if he has not been

there yet.

In my life, Ive been blessed with good

people who were always there to share my

joys and pains, my successes and failures,

my delights and disappointments. Believe

me when I say that these people I keep asfriends, mentors, and advisers are the best

there are. To them, I would like to express

my abiding thanks and gratitude.


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Above all, however, I would like to give

special acknowledgment to those who have

obviously helped me in making this book

what it is:

To my creator, my dear God, who has givenme the gift of writing and speaking. I wish

to thank You profusely for every blessing

that has come my way. May this life You

have given me serve as a consistent

reminder of your love to your people.

And to my family, particularly to my dad

Victorino Luna, whos now retired from

being a tricycle driver and is now a full-

time husband, cook, and a father. To my

mom, whos a retired public teacher, I

appreciate your support and prayers. This

life is nothing but a product of your loveand faith in me. To my sisters, Celeste and

Claire, I appreciate that way you challenge

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me. You know Ill accept every challenge. I

love you all!

My business associates and long-time

friends Ian Barcelona and Pocholo

Gonzales, youre nothing but a rare human

beings. What I mean is a rare blessing that Isee every so often. We always make it

through ups and downs, dont we? Or God

has simply his ways of uniting us together

to make other peoples lives fascinating.

To my editor, Mr. Jose Carillo, I thank you

for yet another successful surgery of my

manuscript. Your passion in copyediting

makes this masterpiece even more

engaging!

To my Facebook Fans (and Twitter

followers) and former students, may youcontinue to enjoy life as it happens and may

you find your meaning!


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