Whitmore/Stevenson: Strategies for Engineering Communication 1 of 34 Revising Sentences for Connection Repetitive Structures Parallel Sentence Structure

Whitmore/Stevenson: Strategies for Engineering Communication 1 of 34

Revising Sentences for Connection

Repetitive Structures Parallel Sentence Structure Vague “This” Transitional Tags


Unnecessary Repetition

This critique is structured around the models identified in the MSAT Project Management course notes presented by Mr. G. Robinson of E.M. Sciences Ltd. A specific model identifying the organizational boundary and defining the internal and external components forms the basis of this critique. The focus of this critique is limited to the internal organizational components which includes the following subjects: Mission, Structure, Leadership, Rewards, Systems & Processes, and Relationships. The external components of the model -- e.g., threats, opportunities, and demands -- are beyond the scope of this critique. This critique focuses inside the organizational boundary.



This critique is based on a model identifying organizational boundaries and defining the internal and external components of the organization.1 The external components of the model (e.g., threats, opportunities, and demands) are beyond the scope of this critique which focuses solely on the following internal components: Mission, Structure, Leadership, Rewards, Systems & Processes, and Relationships.

1G. Robinson. 1995. MSAT Project Management Course Notes. E.M. Sciences Ltd.



The length of the transistor that can function as a long

channel device is strongly related to its junction depth. The

junction depth, of the boron source/drain implant, can be

reduced by lowering the implant energy. However,

lowering the implant energy increases the channeling

probability for boron ions. The channeling probability for

boron ions . . . .



The length of the transistor that can function as a long

channel device is strongly related to its junction depth.

Lowering the implant energy (and thereby increasing the

channeling probability for boron ions) reduces the junction

depth of the boron source/drain implant. The channeling

probability for boron ions . . .


Parallel Sentence Structure

In order to improve our facilities, we must do the following:

• repair our existing PCs

• purchase 11 more hard drives

• security is insufficient

• expand our operating hours



In order to improve our facilities, we must do the following:

• repair our existing PCs

• purchase 11 more hard drives

• increase system security

• expand our operating hours



Examples of coordinators in parallel structure

and as well as

or rather than

but neither . . . nor

yet either . . . or

so not only . . . but also



The system survey report will describe, in general, the

current system activities, the problems that the current

system is experiencing, and to present options and make

recommendations to you and other decision making

authorities.



The system survey report will describe, in general, the

current system activities and the problems that the current

system is experiencing. It will also present options and

make recommendations to you and other decision making

authorities.



This discussion prompted me to contact PTE for further

information and the support package that PTE can offer for

PC/FOCUS.



This discussion prompted me to contact PTE for further

information and for the PC/FOCUS support package.



The purpose of this paper is to critique our current projectmanagement structure. This critique will discuss thefollowing topics:

1. My vision of the company as an optimal organization.2. Strengths and weaknesses of current practices.3. The effects of the current structure on the projects, the

employees, and the organization as a whole. 4. Finally, I will recommend ways to improve our structure

and bring us closer to our mission.



The purpose of this paper is to critique our current projectmanagement structure. This critique will discuss thefollowing topics:

1. My vision of the company as an optimal organization.2. Strengths and weaknesses of current practices.3. The effects of the current structure on the projects, the

employees, and the organization as a whole.

Finally, I recommend ways to improve our structure andbring us closer to our mission.


Vague “This” Subjects

The use of lower wind speeds in the dispersion model

tends to predict higher ambient concentrations. This is an

additional reason to use Northland meteorological data in

the dispersion model.



The use of lower wind speeds in the dispersion model

tends to predict higher ambient concentrations. This

conservative approach is an additional reason to use

Northland meteorological data in the dispersion model.



RNB is a large, well managed technology company with

dedicated people possessing generous amounts of skill

and experience. This has been externally validated by our

ISO 9000 certifications and SEI level 2 rating.



RNB is a large, well managed technology company with

dedicated people possessing generous amounts of skill

and experience. These attributes been externally validated

by our ISO 9000 certifications and SEI level 2 rating.



The next recommendation is to clarify the rewards

structure. This is required to maintain motivation on

projects where many extra hours are required and no

overtime policy exists. This can be critical for commitment

from employees.



The next recommendation is to clarify the rewards structure

in order to maintain motivation on projects where many

extra hours are required and no overtime policy exists.

Providing rewards can be critical for commitment from

employees.


Using Transitions

Isaac Newton wrote Principia to explain his theories of

motion and gravitation. However, tomatoes grow best in full

sunlight. So doctors are required to take the Hippocratic

oath. Consequently, we must learn to more clearly explain

what we mean.


Using Transitions

Isaac Newton wrote Principia to explain his theories of motion and gravitation.

Tomatoes grow best in full sunlight. Doctors are required to take the Hippocratic oath. We must learn to more clearly explain what we mean.


Using Transitions

Transitions Uses

and, or, nor, furthermore, indeed, also, moreover, in fact, first, second, in addition

To add to a previous point.

for instance, for example, for one thing, similarly, likewise

To illustrate or expand on a point.

therefore, thus, so, and so, hence, consequently, on the whole, all in all, in other words, in short, in conclusion

To summarize or emphasize a point.

frequently, occasionally, in general, specifically, in particular, usually

To qualify or illustrate a point.

but, however, yet, on the contrary, not at all, surely, no

To shift to a different point of view or signal a contradiction.

although, though, whereas To make a concession.

because, as, since, for To connect an explanation to a statement.

if, provided, in case, unless, lest, when To qualify and restrict a more general idea.


Transitions

Partial list of prepositions

SPATIAL

about, above, against, around, at, behind, below, beneath, beside, between, beyond, by, down, from, in, inside, into, on, off, out, outside, over, through, to, toward, up, upon, with

TEMPORAL

as, after, before, during, since, till, until

COMPOUND

according to, along with, due to, except for, in addition, in front of, in order to, in spite of, on account of, instead of, with regard to

OTHER

except, for, like, of


Transitions

Partial list of conjunctions

COORDINATING

and, but, for, nor , or, so, yet

CORRELATIVE

both/and, either/or, neither/nor,

not only/but also

RELATIVE

that, which

SUBORDINATING

after, albeit, although, as, as a result of, as far as, as if, as soon as, as well as, because, before, even though, if . . . (then), inasmuch as, insofar as, once, only, since, so as, so far as, though, unless, when, whenever, where, whereas, whereby, whereof


Transitions

Partial list of adverbials

also, consequently, finally, firstly, further, furthermore, hence, hereafter, however, indeed, initially, likewise, moreover, nevertheless, previously, secondly, subsequently, thereafter, thereby, therefore, therein, thus, while


Using Transitions

As the electrode was connected, a short circuit occurred on the board.

Could mean either of the following:

Because the electrode was connected, a short circuit occurred on the board.

When the electrode was connected, a short circuit occurred on the board.


Using Transitions

Since the electrode was connected, a short circuit occurred on the board.

Could mean either of the following:

Because the electrode was connected, a short circuit occurred on the board.

After the electrode was connected, a short circuit occurred on the board.


Using Transitions

Injuries of this type have become a severe problem for the

pharmacy. There is no equipment available on the market

for the IV admixture.


Using Transitions

Injuries of this type have become a severe problem for the

pharmacy because no equipment is available on the market

for the IV admixture.


Using Transitions

There are real risks to whistle blowing. Sometimes we

must blow the whistle.


Using Transitions

Even though whistle blowing has real risks, sometimes we

must blow the whistle.


Using Transitions

There is not much peer-to-peer interaction. This has resulted in strong relationships between the R&D manager and the individuals on the team and weak relationships among members of the group. People in R&D are not used to interacting as peers. The focus has been on domain expertise, which has resulted in pockets of expertise that lead to bottlenecks because expertise is not shared. Individuals start to feel ownership for individual components of the system. This creates technical dedication, but creates situations where individuals are taken as the authority that discouraged the technical exchange of information among the group. Because of the technical focus in R&D, it is easy to ignore the concerns and needs of the customer. On many occasions, with customer-focused projects, there has been direct contact between R&D and the customer. In order to maintain a customer focus, it is important for R&D teams to maintain a good relationship with the customer.


Using Transitions

A lack of peer interaction has led to strong relationships between the R&D manager and individuals on the team but weak relationships among team members. Although the focus on domain expertise encourages people to feel ownership for components of the system, it also creates situations where individuals are viewed as authorities. Consequently, technical dedication is encouraged while exchange of technical information is discouraged. In other words, we have pockets of expertise and bottlenecks in the flow of information because expertise is not shared. Technical focus in R&D can also lead to problems in relationships with customers, whose concerns and needs are often ignored. Note, however, that on many occasions our customer-focused projects have provided direct contact between R&D and customers. If we pay more attention to customer relations, we shift the focus in R&D from domain expertise to customers and thus encourage much needed peer interaction.

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Whitmore/Stevenson: Strategies for Engineering Communication 1 of 34 Revising Sentences for Connection Repetitive Structures Parallel Sentence Structure