When in Doubt—Ask for HelpAs you raise your grandchild, there may betimes when you need some advice. You mightthink that your grandchild is having a problem,and you might not know how to help him/her.When this happens, be sure to reach out!

For education or other school-related issues: Talk to your grandchild’s school counselor or

social worker. He or she will work with you or putyou in touch with the right person at the school.

For health, emotional, or other wellness issues (includ-ing sexuality and/or substance abuse): Start with your grandchild’s doctor or nurse prac-

titioner. He or she will either have an answer, orwill point you in the right direction. You can alsotalk to a counselor or the school nurse.

For general grandparenting information, informationon childhood behavior and/or mental health issues, orto locate other resources in your area:AARP Foundation Grandparent InformationCenter (GIC): www.aarp.org/grandparents, or toll-free at 1-888-OUR-AARP (1-888-687-2277) Includes searchable information, state fact sheets, lists

of support options, and a free quarterly newsletter

U.S. government’s official Web portal:www.firstgov.gov/Topics/Grandparents.shtml Has many good links for grandparents raising grand-

children, including links to state-level resources

American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP):www.aap.org/healthtopics/behavmenthlth.cfm Offers information on raising emotionally healthy

children and coping with common behavioralconditions and stressful life situations

KidsHealth: www.kidshealth.org/parent/emotions Can help you understand many childhood behaviors

from toddlers to teenagers, including separationanxiety, temper tantrums, and depression

D18761(1206)

RAISING YOUR GRANDCHILDTips for Promoting Positive Behavior …

Today and for the Future

BROUGHT TO YOU BY THE NATIONAL ASSOCIATION OF PEDIATRIC NURSE PRACTITIONERS

AND THE AARP FOUNDATION GRANDPARENT INFORMATION CENTER

“I have found out that raising a grand-son was very important for my ownwell being.

It is difficult at times because of thelower energy level that I have with himcompared to raising his mom. However,his enthusiasm ‘fuels my tank.’ In fact,I enjoy my grandchild more than hismom as I get older.”

—Anonymous

FACT:4.5 million children in the U.S.are being raised in the homes oftheir grandparents.

You Are Not Alone! Are you raising your grandchild? If so,you are not alone. There are 2.4 millionother grandparents in the U.S. who areresponsible for the grandchildren livingin their homes.

As a grandparent caregiver, you may befacing new challenges:

You may have health limitations.

There may be new trends in education ortechnology that are less familiar to you.

Sometimes, you may miss being a “tradi-tional grandparent.” That’s when time spentwith a grandchild is fun and carefree, but youare not responsible for his/her upbringing.

But there is something very important toremember. You are nurturing your grand-child and providing stability. You are makingthe greatest difference in your grandchild’slife, for today and for the future.

And that’s what raising your grandchild is all about.

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Raising Your Grandchild:Three Key Strategies

Raising a grandchild can be challenging.Here are three ideas for making the job alittle easier.

1. Make Communication Your Main Goal

The key to any good relationship is com-munication. One of the most importantrelationships you have is with your grandchild.So don’t wonder what your grandchild is think-ing about. Instead, just ask! For you and yourgrandchild, talk isn’t “cheap.” It’s priceless!

“Model” good communications. Talk aboutyour day first—both good things and bad.Describe how each event made you feel.Then, ask your grandchild to do the same.It may take some practice. But if you workat it, you’ll both get used to communicatingyour feelings.

Cheer your grandchild on! When yourgrandchild makes a good decision, let himor her know how proud you are with a hugor a pat on the back. Seeing your positiveattitude will help your grandchild feelgood, too.

Make ground rules clear, and stick tothem. If your grandchild breaks the rules,question the behavior, not the child. Becalm in talking about what will happen now.Later, talk together about how differentbehavior could have led to a better outcome.Children crave stability, and clear ruleshelp create it.

2. Be Consistent Another word for “consistent” is “reliable.”Make sure your grandchild knows thathe/she can rely on your stable presence.Your grandchild will feel safe, and you’ll bebuilding your grandchild’s character, too.

Provide supervision. Make sure yourgrandchild knows that you know what’sgoing on. Supervise his or her TV andInternet time, and take time to meet yourgrandchild’s friends and their parents.Know how your grandchild spends timeafter school. Let your grandchild knowthat you are “there,” even if you can’t bewith him or her all the time.

Develop a household schedule. Plan forchores, homework, meals, and fun! Haveyour grandchild help with the planning. Thiswill teach him/her about what to do first andhow to follow through on plans. But also be

realistic. Sometimes you can’t get everythingdone. Make sure you and your grandchildfocus on what is most important.

Don’t avoid “sensitive” topics. Just as youtalk about everyday events, you also needto tackle the “tough stuff.” This includesthings like sex or bullying. It can be awk-ward for you, and your grandchild mayresist these “personal” chats. But you needto carry through with “open communication”even when the topics are sensitive. So, makesure your grandchild knows that you arealways ready to listen.

3. Foster Your Grandchild’s Success Even though times have changed, the keysto setting your grandchild on a positiveroad are still the same. Create a setting ofsupport—and enjoy watching your grand-child bloom!

Promote good decision-making at home.Start by helping your grandchild to think andtalk about smaller issues. Have him or herplan meals or get clothes ready for school.With practice, your grandchild will get betterat thinking and talking about decisions.

Talk about the future. What interests yourgrandchild? What hobbies excite him/her?

Talk about how to learn more about theseinterests, and how they can fit in withschoolwork and other activities. Supportyour grandchild, but don’t push. If yourgrandchild is nearing college age, talk aboutoptions together. Meet with the schoolcounselor, attend college nights, and findout about financial aid for college.

Don’t confuse “success” with “perfection.”A happy home must have ground rulesand open communication. But it must beflexible, too. Sometimes, you or your grand-child will have a bad day. Perhaps you willfeel exhausted or overwhelmed. Or, yourgrandchild may have had problems atschool. Know these road bumps will happen.Remind your grandchild that you are afamily and you’ll get through things together.Remember—your grandchild’s success is ateam effort!

This brochure is made possible through the support ofthe AARP Foundation Grandparent Information Centerand through the Nurse Competence in Aging 5-yearinitiative, funded by The Atlantic Philanthropies(USA) Inc., awarded to the American Nurses Association(ANA) through the American Nurses Foundation (ANF),and representing a strategic alliance between the ANA,the American Nurses Credentialing Center (ANCC) andthe John A. Hartford Foundation Institute for GeriatricNursing, New York University College of Nursing.

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