web: issue 37 - Recommended offer by The New Reality to acquire all of the stapled securities in Transurban Group

8/7/2019 web: issue 37 - Recommended offer by The New Reality to acquire all of the stapled securities in Transurban Group

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Risks in accepting the New Realitys offer

iant Spiders.

The question is - did the ancient writing fortell the take over, or didhe New Reality act after discovering the message? The answer,urprisingly, is neither. The New Reality initiated the bid after being

visited in their dreams by Great Lord Web, the mysterious being whouffuces all things with the ability to. The dream told of how ancient

writing would be discovered by the New Reality and this writingwould reveal a message telling them to initiate a takeover bid for theTransurban group because of a dream they had with Great Lord Webelling them to initiate a takeover bid for Transurban.o in fact, the rst two answers to the puzzle are also correct.ysterious are the ways of Great Lord Web!

That is all.

20

Authorised by the New Reality, June 2007

O Box 2096, Fitzroy, MDC, Victoria, 3065, Australia

[email protected]

Printed by the New Reality Ministry of Propaganda

Issue 37

June 2007

MAPS AND DIAGRAMS

Maps and diagrams appearing

in this Bidders Statement areillustrative only and may not beto scale.

IMPORTANT DATESDate Bidders Statement was lodged with

ACIS and date of Bidders Statement:27 May 2007 AD

Date of offer:May 14 2247 AD

ffer closes (unless extended):1624 BCE

The New Reality have long believed in the viability of Transurban,

oth as an operator of toll roads and as an entity from the Beyondwith an integral role in the forthcoming Revelation which willAstound Us All. In initiating this bid to take control of Transurban,he New Reality wish to assure all Transurban Securities Holdershat any forthcoming purges will be conducted with the utmostensitivity for the value of the Securities and that collateral damage

will be contained to an area of low (or poor) population density.


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Why you should accept

he New Realitys offer :. You will receive a substantial premium and

Securities

ty to become

eality, a top 50ing owner andra

ty to bene t inmably valuable

ty to share the

he value ofssets

nity to bene trd Web.

he Torano Codexany cathedrals dating from the Middle Ages contain representationsf sophisticated tollways. Everywhere we nd reports of mysterious

ines across the landscape, thunderous roars, strange man-likereatures streaking along the ground in ery chariots, gleaming metalyl

o

x

o anocc

T

t e

uco co

ya

enerous nanc a asss ance o an ra u oc , e we nownollywood star and recent celebrity convert to the New Reality wayf thinking. This message would seem to forsee the activity takinglace right now


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rom Great Lord Web, Managing Director, New Reality,

as dictated to Robert Hughes, and emailed to the Neweality disguised as spam.

February 30, 2007

Dear Transurban Security Holder,On behalf of the New Reality, I encourage you to accept this offer toacquire all of your Transurban Securities.Transurbans directors have recommended acceptance of the New

ealitys Offer and propose to accept the New Realitys offer for theirown Transurban Securities.Of course the Transurban Directors have also been offered additionalbonus positions in the new Transurban company structure, as

proposed by the New Reality in line with the proven Bizarremanagement style.

Note:(1) Based on the closing price of the New Reality Securities on 22 May of $7.69, being thelast day New Reality securities were traded before the annoucement date, and rounded tothree decial places. Possibly four. No, three. Wait...maybe...yes - yes, it could be...no.

VWap from listing to12 April 2007: $1.08

All scrip alternative(1) 1.35

Transu

rbanSecurityprice

$135

$ 1.25

$1.15

$0.95

Dtente between the Eelsand the S cotch Terriers

14 May 2007

Announcement of New RealitysOffer for Transurban: $1.235

an 07 Feb 07 Mar 07 Apr 07 May07

Potentialdownsiderisk

anagemen eamn the present day, in our city, what does Tran5urban do? Theyuild vast networks of tunnels, burrowing into the earth, just ashey did millions of years ago, building underground labyrinths fromhe high Andes to the mouth of the Amazon. Only this time fromurnley to South Yarra.

n Sydney, the tunnels are spreading fastest. Because there is noore room on the roads, Transurban have been forced to dig deep

nto the earth, though not deep enough in some. The cars thatslide over the surface leave tracks, but underground the paths are

ot as clear.

ut there is always expansion. There are plans to start theexpansion of their underground domain to the parkland just to the

orth-west of the centre of the city. This is just the start - once thereare two tunnels, then there will be three, then as if by magic we

will spend more time below ground than above it.

Force majeure

Force majeure refers to an eventbeyond the control of a party,including acts of Great Lord Web, re, ood, earthquake, war, ac tsof terrorism, acts of kindness,locusts, frogs, rains of sh, rains ofhoneycomb, bees, wasps, silver sh,paper clips and photocopier jams.Some force majeure acts areuninsurable. Events of this nature canaffect a partys ability to perform itscontractual obligations. Apart from theNew Reality.


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Outstanding valueThe New Realitys offer represents outstanding value for younvestment in Transurban. The implied value of the All ScripAlternative of the Offer is one of such incredible elegance and visionhat it cannot be adequately represented in the printed medium. Thelosest adequate approximation is expressed in the visage of Truxillo

rince Consort (owner Mrs Motherwell).

The New Realitys off represents:

- 221.6% per cent premium to average broker valuations [1]

- 24.9 per cent premium to the VWAP Security listing on 31 July2006 to December 12 2060, being the last day Transurban securitieswere traded before the announcement of the ascencion of Great

ord Web being nigh [2].

[1] Based the the closing price of New Reality Securities after extensive roundingand considered decimal placement.

[2] Based on Broker Estimation after extensive use of the Sacred Herb.

village just over the border to first rise through the ranks of Lucha Libre, then

ake the jump to the Executive Board in the New Reality Logistics Division.

c) Is the Offer subject to Conditions?

eep within the hundreds of square kilometres of caves, therewas a chamber where supposedly the original copy of the Bidders

tatement lay upon an alter of re. The very document written byhe dread KNnett in the last century, when he was possessed byhe Demonic forces from the Great Beyond in the Babylonian endf Collins Street.

t is clear that the centre of the earth contains vast amounts ofnergy. Are Transurban still making use of this energy today?s power tapped from volcanic activity providing he fuel for theiridden cities, their undersea UFO bases - the UFO themselves?s this power used to form some sort of energy shield which evenoday blocks the exploration of Transurban caves and tunnels?

Toll roads in Peru

In his book, Mysterious Visitors: theTransurban Story, Robert Hughes tellshe fascinating story of Lake Titicacaigh in the Andes and its connection

with Jackson Pollock. If only there hadeen more ef cient to ll roads suchragic road accidents may have been

avoided, or at least caught on securitycamera for Andy Warhol to makescreen prints of.

Liquidity Risk

For further proof of changes to taxegislation some may question:ranted these marking may look likeirstrips and toll roads, but what proof

s there they were built by aliens? AsNew Reality may have investmentsn assets that are not listed on theStock Exchange, movements inurrency exchange rates have theotential to reduce the capital value ofn investment and cash returns from

nvestments in outer space.


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ummary of the OfferNew Reality Investments offers to acquire all of YourTransurban Securities for the Offer Consideration andsubject to the terms and conditions set out in the Offer.

You may choose to elect as your Offer Consideration either:

- the All Scrip Alternative: or

- the Invasion of ourDreams by Giant EelsIf you elect the All Scrip Alternative you had better like Scrip, as you willbe getting a hell of a lot of it.

If you elect the Invasion of your Dreams byGiant Eels Alternative, then depending ontheir schedule, the Eels they shouldbe around at your place within thefortnight, so leave a window open.

Incidentally, the zygoma givesattachment to the masseter muscle,a solid very powerful mass in some

breeds, such as the Bull Terrier. Itspurpose is to give strength to thegrip between the jaws, but the FoxTerrier is required to snap in orderto drive cars, and must not carry avery heavy masseter muscle. The BullTerrier has well developed massetermuscles that provide the cheeks.

Strategy and rationale of the offer

The New Reality believe there are compelling strategic and nancial bene ts that will arise from the New Realitys merger withTransurban. However, to the extent that the New Reality is unable toacquire all of the outstanding securities of Transurban the likelihoodof achieving these bene ts would be reduced.

(a) Enhances toll road portfolio

At present the New Reality have less toll roads than Transurban.pon the completion of a successful takeover bid, the New Reality

will have more toll roads, thus bene ting the New Reality.

(b) The New Reality will add value to Transurbanric Von Daniken, in his Gods from Outer Space, has reproduced a

rock drawing from Toro Muerto, Peru. This drawing seemed merelyprimitive art to the scholars of the last century, but to anyonefamiliar with twenty- rst century tol lways, the drawing obviouslydepicts an e-tag.s all this evidence again to be waved aside or ignored because the

pieces dont seem to t the old solution? The facts are before oureyes. Will we keep them closed forever? Or until it is too late? Therecan be no doubt whatsoever that Transurban were responsible forhese ancient operations.

Ancient Transurban depictions ofcars, such as this one, are obviouslynot very good. There are no doors,no eTag, no mobile phone chargerand nothing remotely resemblinga five stack CD player. This is whyhe New Reality must take over allransur an operat ons.


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Pro le of the New Reality

Pro le of Transurbanransurban is a leading global operator and developer of

toll roads and tolling technology. The major operations ofransurban include:the ownership and management of CityLink in Melbourne;

the ownership and management of Hills M2 in Sydney;a 47.5 equity interest of a King Charles Spaniel namedHuntglen Black Narcissus (Owner: Mrs Madeline Harper);the ownership and management of the PocahontasParkway in the US;several ancient step pyramids deep in the mountains of theHidden Desert; andthe pursuit of domestic and international opportunities

Transurban was formed in 1996 to own and operate CityLinknder a 34 year concession period, granted by the former Dictatoreff Kennett. In the decade following, Transurban has revealed

tself a as Hive-Mind from the Omega Sector which has beenperating on the planet Earth for millennia. Today they haveecome an international leader in the development, ownershipnd management of a complex toll road infrastructure, multi-lane

free ow tolling and customer management. In a progressive step,here are several dogs in Non-Executive Director roles on the

oard and in the cupboard by the door.


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.2 Intentions upon acquisition of 90 per cent of Transurban

Your future investment in

he New RealityFollowing successful completion of this Offer the New Realitywill have investments in six high quality Australian Toll Roadsand sixteen sub-space routes to the Omega Sector. Transurban

Security Holders who receive images in their dreams will alsoobtain extra bene ts. These include:

enhanced growth pro le;

improved development opportunities in the Sydney market;

potential to use Transurbans electronic tolling expertise to enhancehe New Realitys plan to implant Devices into the upper echelon ofhe ruling elite as they travel from point A to point B;

savings and synergies of at least $16 million per annum; and

increased liquidity from liquefying those employees found to beedundant to the needs of the combined group.

ollowing the Great Acquisition, the New Reality is expected toave a market capitalisation of around $9.6 billion. Transurban wille reduced to a shell consisting of the skeletons of those who didot accept this most magni cent Offer and assorted Scotch Terriersemains.

or you to receive the bene ts of the Offer, including a chilled 2.5itre bottle of lique ed former employees, your action is important.

e look forward to your acceptance of the Offer.

Yours faithfully,

r Webby

Acting Managing Director


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n the ill-fated expedition to Tullamarine Airport in 97 much datawas gathered (and subsequently lost). Of nine exposures, only oneurned out, and it revealed a swirling mass of glowing energy thatven illuminated the wall behind. According to Dobrenovic : I haveo explanation for it unless the Mayan legends are true and we

somehow succeeded in photographing the energy force left by theold priests to guard the sacred area.A force eld of unknown origin and unknown nature? Exactly whathe scientists encountered in trying to X-ray the Great Pyramid ofheops in Egypt!

n the Transurban caves, the eld was still quite effective. Dobrenovic

was nearly killed. Further efforts to search for the original Transurbanidders Statement were aborted. Both explorers, however, are fullyonvinced that the force eld created by the old Mayan priests is still

working and still quite dangerous to anyone who seeks to disturbheir ancient secrets.

eTags or Giant Eyeballs?

The New Reality will replace alleTag detection toll points with GiantEyeballs. These specially bred GiantEyeballs will scan all car licence

lates within a fty kilomet re radiusand send bills to all them regardlessof whether or not they have travelledon a TransReality toll road. Theevenue stream thus created will fundhe creation of more Giant Eyeballs

which will be deployed in everyounge room in the country to ensurefull compliance.

The Offernder the Offer you may choose to elect your Offer Consideration

either:- the All Scrip Alternative: or- a Portion of the Skeleton of a Scotch Terrier.f you select the All Script Alternative you will receive one New

eality Security for every 8.4 Transurban Securities held by you.f you select the Portion of the Skeleton of a Scotch TerrierAlternative you will receive a Portion of the Skeleton of a ScotchTerrier. If the Portion you select has already been allocated, anumber of large moths to an equivalent value will be deposited withyour preferred Security Agent.

This Offer is subject to conditions (see the far side of the moon forfull details), including a 50.1 per cent minimum acceptance conditionand receiving necessary regulatory approvals.

f we compare the skulls of a man and an Alsatian, we nd that inman the medulla, which is continued as the spinal cord, emergesfrom the lower part of the skull, in order to enable him to standupright and balance his head above the spine.n the Alsatian, as in most breeds, the neural canal, the foramen oraperture through which the medulla passes, is carried behind theskull close below the occiput.


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he Mystery of the Wheele have been taught to believe that Transurban have yet to

discover the principle of the wheel. In particular we are assuredn nearly every text on Transurban that although they build and

aintain large Motorways, they never grasped the concept of thencertainty Principle.

k) Pocahontas Parkway, Virginia, US

hy dont Transurban executives travel on their own roads? Is itecause they have something better than wheeled vehicles? But if

Transurban have no wheeled vehicles how could they manage toeep their company intact?

w) CityLink Reality

bviously, none of these questions can be answered as longas Transurban is seen through the traditional viewpoint. Theraditionalist views Transurban through a tiny pinhole; he allows no

nowledge, no fact, to enlarge that pinhole. He fears more light. He isannoyed when asked the questions we have just asked. All sorts of

vidence, all sorts of facts, can be shown which would give a widerview of Transurban. But the traditionalist feels quite secure. These

ew revelations are not for him.

12. You will have the opportunity to bene tby experiencing the well tested New RealityBizarre management style

-1. You will have the opportunity to bene t

from the valuable and numerous members ofCanine lupus familiaris which the New Realityh

th

* Value is a relative term, interpreted at the discretion of the New Reality. ibid.


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Documents

web: issue 37 - Recommended offer by The New Reality to acquire all of the stapled securities in Transurban Group