Wallace Rose Novel

7/29/2019 Wallace Rose Novel

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WALLACE ROSE

WALLACE

ROSEMARKFADER

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WALLACE ROSE

Preface

Wallace Rose started out as something that I would only

write when I was in a bad mood, or having a bad day.

Writing anything was my escape after a long day. Writing

took up the hours of the days that I felt lonely. And some

days, I would get so into it, that I would be up past

midnight trying to hit a goal of a certain number of pages,or words. The original idea of it was for me to just write

down the problems I felt that I have been having. Writing

down my problems had helped me through a lot for several

years. I did this in a previous project that I calledDoes

That Shoe Fit, and it was pretty much just me complaining

about everything. I shared the project with people I felt I

could trust, but in return, I received a bunch of criticism.Sure, that was my fault. Everything about it was more

personal and those people who criticized it were ignorant

about some of the things I went through. I didn't care about

what I wrote, it was the fact that I worked so hard getting

that done. It really disappointed me that people attacked the

work and addressed it as distasteful. I stopped writing forsix months after that.

When writingDoes That Shoe Fit, I've had people ask what

the story was about, and really, it wasn't a story. It was

more like a giant diary that also contained actual research I

did that involved teen behaviors. I put that on the back

burner at 30,000 words and decided that I would actuallytry to create a story that kind of uses some of the quotes,

thoughts, opinions and ideas fromDoes That Shoe Fit.

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I've written the short novel very carefully, implementing

many literature elements, including concepts and themes,symbols, foreshadowing events, flashbacks and dialogue

conversations. Be sure to look for them while reading.

There are some things you may be able to pull out that I

didn't even realize.

I've debated releasing Wallace Rose and allowing otherpeople to read it. I knew before starting this, that the story

and the events within it would be controversial. Wallace

Rose really does explore touchy topics, which include

suicide, depression, and individuals that struggle in the

social world. I want you to remember that names,

characters, places, and events are all fictional. While some

characters may parallel or compare to people, I do notexploit or expose anyone in any way possible.

With that being said, I will not be welcoming any criticism

of the plot or story concept. You have the right to criticize

the work ethic I put into the writing ofWallace Rose.

I would like to thank those of you who were by my sidewhile I wrote this. I appreciate the tiny amount of support

that actually got this story into existence, even though most

of you did not really acknowledge what the story was

about. I appreciate and thank those of you who showed

interest in reading the book as I wrote it.

Once again, thanks a bunch. I hope you enjoy it.

Mark Fader

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Man is fueled by passion,

motivation, affection,compliments, work ethic, and other

essentials

that build up their well being.

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1Standing in the midst of the low-saturated green of

the grass, I turned around to see Sienna approaching me.

She was all by herself and it was just the two of us. I

haven't seen her in practically a year. She never really

changed. She was just as beautiful as the last time I set my

eyes on her.

It was a windy afternoon under a gray early fall sky.The leaves from nearby trees dropped, swinging like a

pendulum toward the ground, and afterwords remained

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still.

As Sienna came closer to me, she was able to

recognize who I was after the events of last year. Drawnupon her face was a slight smile with a scar behind it. She

had a bouqet of flowers, and I assumed that she was here

for the same reason I was. She set the flowers in front of

the grave. Sienna didn't say a word to me at first. We didn't

know what to say. It wasn't even necessary to start a

conversation, but by Sienna's look, she really wanted to saysomething meaningful.

I saw that she was wearing the ring that I had

originally bought for intentions of proposing to my former

girlfriend. The ring meant much more to her than it would

have to me and Brooke. The ring has a bit of a story behind

it. I felt the need to say something in order to break the

silence between the two of us.Tears began to stream down Sienna's cheek as we

stared coldly at my best friend's name engraved into a

stone. Wallace Scott Rose. Below was his year of birth,

and his year of death. Seeing his date of death was heart-

dropping, considering that it was only a year ago. I couldn't

help but think how strange it was. I knew this person. I'veseen him before plenty of times. I've heard his voice. I

knew his laugh. I knew his dreams. I didn't just know this

person like any other person would know someone.

Wallace was one of the closest friends that I had. I am not

saying that to respect him, it was genuine.

I wanted to wake up from a nightmare that seemed

like a year, but this was all a reality. I know that Sienna wasthinking that this should have never happened just as much

as I was.

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When I looked back over to Sienna, who was to my

right, she looked at me as though she was begging for

something. I couldn't tell what, but she suddenly embracedme, and began to flood my shoulders with tears.

At that time, we only had ourselves. You think that

after a year of being without your friend, you can be strong,

but there are constant reminders; all of the good times. All

of the thinking resolves into sadness, and tears, and if any

luck, a little smile, remembering the good things.To this day, it's still unbelievable. To be honest, I

thought that Wallace was a bit of a coward, but it's

debatable that what he had done defied his cowardice. I just

never thought that Wallace would do something so terrible.

I honestly thought that he joked about some of the things he

said he wanted to do. He gave off the vibe that he was

strong enough to go on through a day, no matter how hurthe was.

Before I began to cry myself, I turned away from

Sienna. I began walking away and out of the cemetery. I

needed to go back and study, but I couldn't get my old

friend off my mind. I knew that he was right beside me,

enchanted at my presence. I felt him there with me as I wasleaving. Perhaps he wanted me to stay a little longer.

I turned around and Sienna faced Wallace's

tombstone with a handkerchief close to her face. The sight

of Sienna, basically a widow, made it more somber. A

yellow leaf came down, swinging in the air in front of me. I

turned back around and headed toward my car.

With the wind and the fall of leaves came amourning sky. I remained in my car without moving. The

windshield collected an accumulation of tears, perhaps

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from the angels.

As I sat motionless in my car in a pensive state, I

observed Sienna appearing outside of the cemetery gates.Her ash blonde hair blew in the wind and darkened from

the rain. From the wetness outside, nobody could tell that

she was crying. She was in pain, just like me. I wished

there was something that I could do for her but I don't want

to associate myself with her at all. She was Wallace's girl.

She will always be Wallace's girl.I was just sitting in my car remembering all of the

good things and some of the bad things about Wallace. I

didn't think about anything else. I didn't think about anyone

else after Sienna had disappeared from my view. The rain

began to come down harder. If Wallace was there that day,

he would enjoy it. He loves a rainy fall day. This isn't a lie.

He would totally be happy if he was here.There was a hidden humor within Wallace that I

only knew. I knew that he was funny. He had a sense of

humor that was obscured by his own lack of confidence and

self-pride. During the necessary times, he was quiet,

especially in school. When he did speak in times that he

usually wouldn't, he always had half the group break out inlaughter, and another half asking what did he say?

I would say for the most part that Wallace was weak

about himself, but strong about all of the other things. He

seemed to acknowledge his imperfections and tried to

polish himself. He wanted to be someone who was better

than himself. That someone wasn't himself though. I liked

Wallace for who he was, and I would assure you that a lotof other people that knew him liked Wallace Rose as the

Wallace Rose he was born as. Sure, he didn't stand as tall as

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his peers and he set himself apart from the rest. Wallace

Rose was defiant. He was personal with everyone and he

didn't mind what he shared with who.Wallace never really showed his weaknesses or his

flaws until suddenly before his tragic exit. I knew him for

such a long time; since childhood, I believe. Wallace Rose

was just Wallace. He was happy about the way his life was

going. I would say in his young years, he was one of the

biggest introverts that I had ever met. He didn't talk a lot,only to his parents. I used to ask him so many questions

because nobody knew about him. I wanted to be the first to

befriend Wallace and I'm quite glad for having done so.

I would get on the bus everyday in middle school

and sit next to Wallace. I lived down the street from him. I

sacrificed my time that I could have used sitting with a

close friend of mine named Gildroy Booker. I tried tointerrogate Wallace, but he never answered me, unless it

was a yes or no question, then he'd nod his head. He always

had a book that he read on the bus, but I doubted that he

actually read them. They were his shield from society on

the loud and noisy bus. I understood Wallace's method, and

decided to give up. I doubted that anyone would everdiscover Wallace Rose, until high school.

I hadn't seen Wallace since the seventh grade. Since

then, he had his father take him to school so he didn't have

to sit around in a bus full of people. I remember though, my

first day of sophomore year in high school, a loud, and

robust gentlemen came into my biology class. He would

pop in as the last person before the period began. Healways made some remark, comment, or question in which

no one replied to. I didn't even know it was Wallace until

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half way through the year. This was probably because I

never really kept track of names. There were too many

people that I didn't know.I was shocked to discover that this talkative

classmate was Wallace. He had this unbelievable

enthusiasm, this vitality, and this incredible sense of humor

that he delivered to nobody. I was the only one who

laughed at any remark he made.

Before I totally understood that I sat next to Wallacein biology, I thought of him as a selfish 'womanizer.' The

teacher liked him, and always had to humorously or

politely ask him to quit talking. There were girls all around

us in the corner of the classroom, and Wallace did nothing

much in biology but talk to them. Sadly, the girls really

didn't act that interested in him. They never really replied

thoughtfully to his comments or to anything he said.From sophomore year in high school and on, I was

able to become friends with Wallace. He talked way more

than I would have expected. He said everything that he

thought and he never really had a filter. We began to hang

out with each other after school. Wallace turned out to be

incredibly cool. I still don't understand how he wasn't likedby many. People change for the worst, but Wallace Rose

changed into something incredible. I tried asking Wallace

about his past, but he never really explained why he was

such an introvert. For a short period of time, many people

were curious about what inspired Wallace to break out of

his shell. Wallace never really answered that question. That

remained the only mystery about him.Other than that, Wallace and I were always together,

and we were often with Gildroy as well. All through high

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school, Wallace would ask us to go downtown with him to

see a movie. Often times, we would run into some girls that

we knew from school and Wallace spent a lot of timetalking to them while Gildroy and I listened in or talked to

each other on the side. We were Wallace's wingmen, and

we both knew. We didn't really mind. It was Wallace, what

else could you expect?

Despite all of the times that Wallace coincidentally

ran into all of these pretty girls, nothing really happened. Infact, the girls would often be more interested in me and

Gildroy. Gildroy met his girlfriend, Leslie, from an

encounter that Wallace made. We were with him as usual,

and I knew that Wallace was very unhappy with what was

going on.

My first impression of Wallace was that he was

good at this whole dating thing, but he told me that heactually had trouble with relationships and he never knew

why. He said that he was strongly disliked by a lot of the

women he knew and that their friendships were often short

and estranged. For some reason, I never bought that. He

wasn't doing something properly.

More surprisingly, I discovered at the end of mysenior year in high school that Wallace was going to the

same university as I was. It wasn't surprising that he was

going to the same university, but it was more surprising that

he was actually going to a university. His older brother did

nothing after high school for five years before he applied to

a two-year college and got a simple job. He easily found a

girlfriend who had a lot of money.Wallace seemed to be stored with much energy that

he saved for the perfect times. He cared about his success

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and his future as much as he did about having a relationship

with a beautiful girl. He never acted awkward around

anyone unless he was surrounded by awkward people. Hespent most of his freshman year in college pulling all-

nighters, studying, maintaining a status quo of a man who

knew what he wanted. Wallace had dreams that he would

not give up. He would go far until he could die happy.

Defiantly, Wallace's intelligence increased, and his

scores on exams actually outnumbered those of the extremestudents who came into the university with a consistent

GPA of four-point-zero in high school. I believe this was so

because he didn't have a social life, so he spent a lot of his

time building a dream that he knew he could achieve.

There were many times that he slipped and almost

hit rock bottom because he was reminded that he didn't

have support from a particular person. I always told himthat I supported him, but he insisted that I wasn't the person

he actually wanted support from. I tried asking him who he

wanted support from but he avoided explaining, ultimately

because it was extremely absurd.

I still remember the night that Wallace began to

slowly deteriorate. It was the end of our freshman year incollege and it was a nice summer evening. Wallace wanted

to go out, and I knew why, of course. I agreed to go out

with him. There was something tacit about our plans.

Wallace knew that I used him as a wingman, and I knew

that Wallace used me as a wingman. We were practically

each other's wingman. I did this because I just wanted

Wallace to be satisfied. I didn't want to see Wallace strugglebut I honestly didn't know what to do. I couldn't help that I

was liked more than Wallace was. What's even more worse

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is that I was the kind to take women for granted. I guess

that was attractive. I'm not sure. Wallace surely did not. A

relationship was the only thing that Wallace wanted. Hehad everything else that he needed.

I was curious about Wallace and his struggle. I

wondered if it was something that all people went through,

or if it was just actually a problem with Wallace. So on that

summer night, I decided to change a little. I decided that I

wanted to start a loyal relationship with a beautiful girl. Iwanted to do this primarily to put myself in Wallace's

shoes. I wanted to see how simple it was for me in hopes

that I could help Wallace.

Things changed at the end of my freshman year in

college. I was ready to find someone just to be with. I didn't

intend on founding a serious relationship in which the word

'love' is used so much that it would be burnt out. I wasn'tthat kind of person.

It was early in the summer, when the weather was

still mildly chilly at nightfall, but nice enough to hang

around the town by the campus. You could find anybody

with anyone downtown. They walked up and down the

sidewalk or sat at tables outside the coffee shop or the sushirestaurant. It was all talk. We never had the chance to catch

up with what everyone was doing and how they were

dealing with this, or that and so on.

Wallace was the one who insisted that we go out

that night. Obviously, I understood and agreed to follow

along. From that very night, I discovered that sitting around

downtown during the evening and early nightfall was oneof my favorite things to do.

Nightfall was arriving as Wallace and I took a seat

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at a table outside a bar and grill restaurant. We enjoyed the

smell of the busy cafs and the noise from conversations

that wheeled on by us. I was content with the way it was;Me and Wallace, and nobody else.

How do I look? Wallace asked me, seemingly out

of the blue. The silence between the two of us was broken.

You're fine, Wallace. You don't need to ask. I

assured him.

Wallace kept his eyes away from me, and focusedon the people that walked by. Sometimes he would pretend

that he wasn't looking at a particular person when they

looked at him. He moved into a candid posture and would

often times remain that way, looking at the blank screen on

his unlit phone.

Most of the evening was actually quiet. It was just

Wallace and I, sitting at a table. There were several familiarfaces up from campus but that still wasn't the usual. I had

seen some people from my lecture classes. I received some

heys from them, but no one was interested in stopping to

catch up with what Wallace and I were doing.

It seems that they have figured out that I am with

you this evening. Wallace said remarkingly, with a littlelaugh. I laughed with him but I had to disagree with his

self-degrading jokes. Wallace never really had a filter for

putting himself down. He did it in a way that made him

seem less depressing. Wallace had told me that those jokes

make him feel better because it makes people realize that

he himself is aware that he 'sucks' or is a 'loser'. People

would always disagree with him. I don't know if theirdisagreement was just a help to satisfy Wallace and his

need for attention, or if they were being genuine about it.

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Wallace once told me that he doesn't expect a lot out

of people, especially when he would complain, jokingly,

about his life. He didn't want reassurance. He just wantedsomeone to laugh at him and his jokes. For some reason,

this actually made Wallace feel better about himself. I

never saw him as one to seek attention. He called himself

unattractive, not because he was down, but because it was

his honest opinion about himself. He didn't want people to

beg to differ, he wanted someone to genuinely agree withhim. I never met a single person who 'genuinely' agreed to

any negative thing Wallace had said about himself.

Luck would come to Wallace eventually. Sometimes

you really just have to wait it out. Patience is sometimes

painful, but it's best to ease it out and wait it through. And

it's also the luck with people. It's just a fact that some

people get certain things sooner than others. That would bethe case with me on that very night that Wallace and I went

out together.

A girl that I relatively knew saw me and Wallace at

the table. She called us out and hurried over to sit with us.

As she came closer, my near-sighted vision saw the

beautiful Brooke Schumacher. There was an open seatbetween Wallace and me that she sat in.

Were you here all by yourself? I asked her. I was

curious, for she seemed to have been downtown for a

while. She showed up without anyone else.

I came here to look around at the stores. She said,

with the delightful voice that seemed to catch my ears.

The conversation between the three of us wasn'treally that special, but that didn't mean that I didn't like

Brooke. I did. I know that it would sound clich, but there

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was something different about Brooke that made her stand

out from the rest of the crowd. I was able to get Brooke's

number and I was eager to get back to the dorm that nightto call her.

Wallace, on the other hand, was being very absurd

about the situation. He played it off cool in the presence of

Brooke, but when we got back to the dorm room, he nearly

exploded.

I could tell that within his anger was a sadness, ayearning to give up.

How do you do that? Wallace asked me, angrily.

I just don't get how you can do that and achieve it and

when I do it I get these weird looks from people.

You didn't even ask her for her number. I simply

told him. I was ready to hear what Wallace had to say back.

That would just look weird, like I'm interested inher. he said.

Well, be honest, I said, are you interested in

Brooke?

What if I was? He remarked.

I would say that you could just ask for her number.

She didn't look at me all weird. I explained to him.Well, you're Ross McKay. I'm Wallace Rose. We're

two different people. One of us is liked by everyone and the

other isn't. Take a good guess at who's who. I didn't want

to answer Wallace's frustrating question.

Look, Wallace, I said, it seems to me that you're

wanting someone to come to you. You want someone to ask

foryournumber. You're just waiting instead of doing. Itried to explain to him.

You should know how I feel, Wallace said, I've

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given up long ago on chasing. It's better to just be chased

instead. But then again, I'm never chased by anyone.

There's nothing to me to chase. Wallace sighed.You'll just become a nobody even more, Wallace.

I gave him as much advice as he needed. A lot of people

may know you but they don't know who you are. Wallace

looked up at me. If you set a ground for yourself, defined

yourself, and made yourself even more noticable, then

maybe people will begin to know who you are. People willlook up to you and respect you. Wallace smirked.

People can't look up to me, Wallace said, wearing

a strange smile on his face, people will look down to me

because I'm shorter than everyone else.

The both of us laughed.

I knew that my words of advice that night wouldn't

help Wallace. There was just something about Wallace. Itwas mysterious. The dark clouds that hung on Wallace until

his ending began to form some point from that night. This

fade of early summer evening to cool summer night was a

threshold. I feared that Wallace was heading toward a bad

direction. I feared that things were going to change. I feared

that Wallace was going to crash and burn eventually. Henever had been the same since college. His sense of humor

faded away and his vitality evaporated into the thin air.

Wallace Rose was no longer the Wallace Rose that he once

was.

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2The rain poured down mildly as I began to drive

away from the cemetery. Today is Sunday. I don't work

today. I don't have any errands to run today. I felt like

calling up Sienna to see if she wanted to go out just to eat

or something. I don't know exactly how she would befeeling. Maybe I won't bother her. I know that she was

traumatized at what happened. I wanted to respect that.

I really need some company or something to occupy

my time. I wanted to think about some of the things that

Wallace was doing because I didn't understand. As I drove

around town, I decided that I would head downtown andmake a pass by the college we once attended together.

I remember the night I told Wallace that I was

considering a relationship with Brooke. The entire

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conversation, nearly word-for-word, played out in my head

as I took the highway downtown.

I walked into the dorm after going on a date withBrooke. Wallace was sitting in a chair not really doing

anything. He just stared out the window, looking at nothing.

Where have you been? He turned and asked me.

On a date with Brooke. I answered. Wallace

remained stagnant.

I'm thinking about asking her out, I said. Whatdo you think she'll say? I asked for Wallace's opinion. He

rolled his eyes at me, and then he let out a sigh.

What is it, Wallace? I said, slightly bothered by

his reaction.

You want to start a relationship... He said, almost

in a whisper.

I'm sorry if you liked Brooke, I don't know what Ican tell you -- I said, and Wallace interrupted.

It's not that-- Wallace insisted.

I'm sorry that you're not in a relationship. You can

get in a relationship really easy. You're just making it hard

for yourself.

Look, Wallace stood up from a chair he wassitting in. People seem to think that I'm oblivious about

the things that come with a relationship. I'm not. Wallace

began to walk around the room. You're going to end up

bringing her here every day. You're going to come in here

and act like the two of you can do whatever you want.

You're going to crash into your bed, and start sucking faces,

and--No, that's not the case. I insisted him.

Well, I'm going to have to leave. That's fine if I

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had a place to leave to while you guys are having your love

time. Wallace said.

I'm not going to make you leave. I said.So you want me to watch the two of you make love

while I run to the end of my chain and bark? Wallace

asked, sarcastically and demandingly.

I won't do that here, I assured him.

You won't resist, my friend. Wallace argued. We

both knew that that was true.You can go on dates with us.

Third wheeling it! Wallace exclaimed.

Or find someone to go with you-- Wallace let out

a pretense laughter that led to a pretense crying-laughter.

Who would want to go on a date? With me? He

asked.

Anyone. I stated.You're a good comedian, he laughed. A good

comedian.

Wallace was beginning to be in denial of everything

that was true or possible. It was hard to convince him of

something or make him believe good things would happen.

I started to hypthosize that maybe that was the actual rootof his problems. It's well-known that not everyone likes to

be around someone who is pessimistic. Wallace was as

pessimistic as pessimistic gets. And his negative attitude

remained stubborn.

After being around Wallace for all of those years, I

actually began to understand some of his problems but I

was well aware that he didn't work hard to solve them.Sadly with all of his struggle, Wallace's favorite

things were romance, love and relationships. He wanted to

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be a lady's man but he failed to give his best gifts to people

because he just couldn't do it. To this day, I still don't know

if it was a problem of Wallace's own that kept him fromdoing this, or if he was criticized on the low and avoided.

Wallace assumed that people didn't like him and wouldn't

want to be near him. I think his attitude and thoughts about

that actually kept people from actually liking him.

At the end of our freshman year in college, Wallace

told me that in his nineteen years of living, he only hadbeen in two relationships; One was in middle school and

the other was in high school. Wallace's first relationship

spawned during times that he wasn't bothered by

relationships. He never really hoped to be in one and he

never really waited for one. Wallace's first relationship

came to him. Perhaps that explains Wallace's high

expectations. Wallace dated a girl that he really didn't likewhen he was in eighth grade. However, through time,

Wallace fell in love with her. The relationship only lasted a

month, and Wallace was devastated when it ended. He

called the day before their break-up the last day he can

remember actually being content about his life.

Nonetheless, the ball was rolling. Wallace loved thefeeling of a relationship. He enjoyed exchanging romantic

comments and always having someone by his side. Sadly

enough, he struggled for three long years before his second

and last relationship. I remember during sophomore year,

he finally got another girlfriend but it wasn't as exciting for

him. He told me that he had to ask her out and she would

have felt bad if she said no to him. That relationship, too,would only last a month before Wallace was fed up of the

lack of liveliness and romance. And that was it.

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Wallace became a dating tramp again. He flirted

with every nice-looking girl but nothing really happened as

a result. Wallace seemed to have been trying but he mostlikely expected someone other than him to make the next

move. Nobody would. I would tell Wallace that if he liked

someone, he should tell them. He said that he couldn't

because the answer would most likely be a polite rejection

and things would get awkward.

I thought about it, but came to the conclusion thathey, it's life. Stuff like that will happen quite often. It has

certainly happened to me. In fact, some things about the

past year have been awkward.

Also, going to the streets downtown was getting old

for me, and I couldn't think for Wallace. He kept on

wanting to go because he kept his hopes up. If I were him, I

would have given up on going downtown and figured outanother place to go. The smell of sushi and hamburger was

getting old. Seeing the same people up and down the streets

was getting old. I recommended to Wallace that we stay on

the college campus because it was a fact that more people

stayed around there.

Perhaps the only real reason I grew disinterested ingoing everywhere with Wallace was because I wanted to

spend some time with Brooke. I hadn't asked her out yet

and Wallace always pulled me away from the possibility.

He didn't want me to start a relationship with her until he

started his own relationship with someone else. But I knew

that I would be waiting an extremely long time.

Brooke and I were friends for a while. We got toknow each other that night we ran into each other

downtown. I called her all the time and we would spend

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three or four hours on the phone just talking about

ridiculous things. I really liked it though. I used to lose so

much sleep because I just wanted to hear Brooke's voice allnight. I know it sounds like bogus, but I still think that it is

true. I've had relationships with many girls in the past and I

never really cared for them. When I met Brooke, something

was different. I can confess that it wasn't even her looks

that captivated me. Through her beautiful face was an

inside that possessed an even greater beauty. I was dumbenough to tell her that once. I learned that that is only what

is said by the heart. It sounds too fictional and strange from

the tongue.

I remember in the fall that year, I had to keep things

on the low from Wallace so that I could actually talk to

Brooke and ask her out. While Wallace stayed at the dorm

room to study, I left to a football game with Brooke. It wasa home game, so it was near the campus. It was one of my

ideal kind of nights. Brooke made that night even better.

It was one of those nights in the fall that ended up

sort of bitter and cold without really expecting it. I brought

a zip-up sweater with me to the game just in case. I learned

from Brooke, however, that games weren't her kind ofthing. I felt a little bad about that. I had a better idea.

A little ways outside of town was a nice, large lake.

Many people called it the Y-Lake, because the lake was

shaped like a large, bubbled letter Y. The lake also had a

wooden dock built about fifteen or twenty feet in.

I parked my car far from the lake's edge and both of

us got out. Brooke looked toward the sunset that triggeredthe pinkish purple sky. We walked along the lakeside before

reaching the dock. Brooke looked over at the lake's water,

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and so did I. We were surprised to find a crimson-colored

rose floating on by. I went to pick up the rose and I softly

shook it so it was a little dryer. I let Brooke hold on to it.She accepted it with a smile.

I really like this. Brooke said. She looked to me

and the sky's colors reflected onto her eyes. I noticed that

she didn't have a jacket or anything, so I let her borrow my

zip-up. We walked up to the edge of the dock, and we sat

there next to each other with our feet barely hovering thecold water.

Wallace is going to hate me for this. I accidentally

said to myself out loud.

Hate you for what? Brooke asked.

I I told him that I'd be back by now. I was able

to cover up the reason... Or at least I thought I was.

Didn't you tell him you were going to the game?She asked.

Yeah. I said.

Well it's still going on. Brooke told me, smiling.

It's not like he knows you're here.

Yeah, you're right. I said. Her eyes looked to me

again. Is something wrong? She asked me. She could tell

that I was thinking about something. Several things were

beginning to run through my mind. All of the what if's

sprang into mind as I was ready to ask Brooke. I think she

knew what I was thinking and wanted to start a moment.

I was just thinking about Wallace. I said. I didn't

speak after that. I just kept thinking. I needed to organizemy mind.

Wallace is a turd. Brooke suddenly commented. I

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was actually surprised but I didn't know if I should have

been offended. I looked at her in a way that seemed to

frighten or worry her, as though she shouldn't have saidthat. I could tell that she wanted to take back what she said.

I know. He is. I let out. I smiled a little bit and

Brooke looked toward the sunset.

Well, Brooke started, He speaks his own little

language. I call it the language of complaining. There was

a pause. I didn't know how to reply to it. We both knew it tobe true.

I feel bad for him. What is he even doing right now? Did

he go to the game?

No, he's just sitting back at the dorm room. He

didn't want to come with us because he didn't want to be a

'third wheel'.

Oh. Brooke said. She didn't comment much onthat because the third wheel thing kind of hinted the notion

of us both being together. I knew she was waiting on me to

say something about it. But I was turning into a coward.

I'm sorry. I said.

For what? Brooke asked.

Well, I don't know. That seemed kind of awkward.I explained to her.

How was it awkward? She asked. I thought of

girls going through this process of questioning as a famous

thing that all girls do right before the moment.

Because we're like, I don't know how to explain it,

you know what I mean. I said. I thought that it was a bad

idea to say that without explaining further.Yeah. She said. She let out a nervous laugh.

I took Brooke's hand and had her stand up with me.

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My heart began to race and I picked up the rose that I had

found drifting at the edge of the lake.

Brooke, I have something to ask you. I announcedin a shaky, stuttery voice.

Yes? Brooke asked in an exciting tone.

Will you be my girlfriend? I asked. I was turning

red like the crimson rose, I could feel it. I offered the rose

to her again.

Of course I will! She cried. She hugged me. Shealso threw the dying rose out and it softly crashed back into

the waters of the Y-Lake.

It was that easy. All I could think was 'really?' But at

the same time I was excited. Brooke was also happy.

Brooke looked at me with her saphire blue eyes. Her white

teeth shined. Her face was the color of the sky, and so was

mine. We were both blushing at the incident. We hugged.Brooke pressed against me tightly and behind her I looked

at the lake. My eyes caught the crimson rose, floating,

practically dead, in the lake.

After a brief moment, Brooke spoke.

Were you trying to tell me that Wallace would have

been disappointed in you if we were together?He always is. I said with a sigh. I noticed that my

heart's pace returned to normal and my usual complexion

was returning to my face. I began to look at the rose,

floating in the water. I never made the connection with it

that I can make now.

I looked back at my girlfriend and smiled. We held

hands as we walked down the dock. We made a stop andlooked over at the sun, starting to go down further more.

So Brooke and I were together at last. I couldn't tell

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you how happy I was that day. I honestly thought it wasn't

possible after seeing Wallace struggle so much with what I

did so easily. I did start to wonder and feel bad for him. Idon't think I could picture him actually asking someone out

the way I did. He was just too awkward for it more

awkward than I was about Brooke.

I was quite a happy person that night. I drove back

to campus with Brooke. It seemed like a typical Friday

night. Eventually, the game was over and everyone else atthe campus began to head back. Many people came back in

large groups. I knew that there were going to be some crazy

parties all over campus. The rush and excitement of the day

made me really tired. I wanted to sleep.

I walked Brooke to her dorm building.

Well, goodnight. Brooke said in an adoring,

tiresome voice.Goodnight, Brooke.

We both just looked at each other and smiled big.

We were practically awkward. It hasn't been long. I knew

then that the awkwardness will die down and it will be

typical.

The next thing on my mind as I headed back to my

dorm was telling Wallace. If I told Wallace, then he would

be disappoined, jealous, or envious. If I didn't tell him, then

he'd find out. He'll get mad that I didn't tell him. I made up

my mind that I would just wait a little before telling him.

Maybe somehow over time he would just catch on that

Brooke and I were together as a dating couple.When I opened the door to the dorm room, I found a

group of people in the dorm room with Wallace, one being

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Gildroy. Gildroy was waiting for me. We had plans to hang

out late that night. The other people were with Wallace,

studying for chemistry.Ross! Gildroy called out, in a greet. Some of the

people in the room looked over, then went back to their

discussion. Wallace seemed to have been leading them,

teaching the small group. Wallace always had study

sessions like these, but they were during the wrong times. I

really wanted some sleep. I wasn't able to sleep when Iwanted to that night due to the study group session and the

fact that I had plans with Gildroy.

I'm a little tired. I said.

Good luck with relieving that, Gildroy remarked,

you can't sleep through a discussion of oxidation states.

Is that what they're talking about? I asked.

Yep. I don't even know what it is, but I've beenlistening for the past half hour. Gildroy explained. Say,

how did you like the game? Gildroy added.

I didn't see the ending. I told him.

Really? Did you fall asleep? Where did you go?

I went to the Y-Lake with Brooke. I explained to

him. Gildroy squinted and grinned at me.How'd it go? He asked.

We're dating now, I said, I asked her out while

we were standing on the dock.

That's good stuff! Gildroy was proud of me.

There was a constant announcement of chemical

compounds and plus numbers and minus numbers. I just

wanted to lay down and give Brooke a call.Well, hopefully they'll be done with their study

session soon. Gildroy said. I'll catch you tomorrow or

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something.

Alright, have a good night. I told Gildroy

goodbye and he left the dorm room.The study session with Wallace and his classmates

seemed interminable. I wanted to get some sleep. I was

excited for the next day, although I should have been

studying too.

I began to observe Wallace and listen to him. One of

the things that a lot of people didn't know about Wallacewas his leadership qualities. He had the capability of being

a public speaker, or even a teacher. He led the study session

group like he was a lecturer. He always seemed to know

what was right and what was wrong and he never hesitated

with anything he said. Wallace was one of the people that

just understood things easier than others. Wallace

understood the complicated things, but he never understoodthe simple things.

Wallace always helped me with my homework. He

knew how to do things and he really showed himself as

someone who actually cared about what went on around

him. He was all about success. He wanted to prosper and he

understood that many of his peers around him haddisoriented priorities. Throughout high school, Wallace

motivated himself and associated himself with the smart

and intelligent kids. I wouldn't say Wallace turned into one

of them, but he was already one of them before he found

them.

There were even times when Wallace tried to

motivate me to do better in school. He offered it to me but Ididn't want it. I was starting to think about it and I felt bad.

So I lost my lethargy, got up out of the chair I was resting

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3Sienna's phone rang. And rang. And rang.

Hey, this is Sienna. I'm sorry I couldn't pick up the

phone. I'm likely busy right now. Leave a message! It was

a different kind of message. I'm not going to bother and

leave a message. Sienna isn't busy. She's upset. Iunderstand that. She'll see that I called her. Maybe she'll

call later. I had to control myself though. I put a quarter in

the slot outside of my car. I'm just going to sit in the car and

think about my friend. Hopefully I'll remember something

good. I picked up from my previous thoughts. I thought of

the beginning of our senior year in college. It was just overa year ago.

My sophomore and junior years in college seemed

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to make a run past. Things remained the same, only this

time, I was a little older, and so was everyone else. Wallace

and I were seniors and the fall was beginning. Classes wereabout to be back in session after what seemed to be a rather

short summer. Nothing significant had really changed since

the beginning of my sophomore year in college.

Well, maybe some things did change. I was

beginning to find out who I was and what I wanted to do

for a living. The previous year was a year about setting theanchor down. Many of my friends were choosing to be

engineers. Honestly, I was just ready to get out of college. I

wasn't even thinking about what I wanted to do.

I started to think about what everyone around me

was doing. My girlfriend was trying to get a certification,

or degree in the field of medicine. Wallace was working

with chemistry as he was in the beginning. I decided that Iwould get into engineering. I didn't want to think too long

on it. I didn't really have a choice.

Thinking about this time made me think of a day

that knocked up my perspective a little bit. I used to think

that Wallace was just being a little absurd. I mean, he is

with some things, but I learned that Wallace was right aboutsome things.

When I came back to the dorm room during

breakfast, the room seemed to be a little extra cleaner than

it was when I left. Wallace was cleaning up the room, and

he seemed to be packed up for some occasion.

Going somewhere? I asked.

Hey, Wallace said, I've been wondering if youwanted to go out of town this weekend with me to see my

parents. I was confused. Wallace spoke again. I don't

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assuming the truth that Gildroy was trying to come and

swipe me away from him.

Would you like to go out of town with us? I askedGildroy.

Sure, where exactly to? He inquired.

Well, we're going to Wallace's parents' house to

meet them. Maybe we can have some fun afterword. I told

him.

How are you guys getting there? Gildroy asked.I looked at Wallace. He didn't give an answer.

I'd drive you guys down there if you want.

Gildroy alyways offered things despite the fact that I often

forgot about our arrangements.

That works. Wallace said, busy with cleaning the

large overlooking windows.

Outside the sky was gray. It looked as though it wasabout to rain. The air seemed a little dry and it was a still

hot. Summer was beginning to fade into the mild

September. Gildroy, Leslie, Wallace and I walked out to the

student parking lot of the campus. We really didn't get into

the car yet. We had a conversation. There was always too

much going on and not enough time to catch up with goodfriends and old friends. Asking what's up was always

annoying. The answer was always the same, not much

kind of thing. Here at the university, it was what are you

majoring in?

We went around in our little circle in the parking lot

discussing what we wanted to major in. When Wallace said

that he was majoring in chemical engineering, Gildroypretended to have a spasm.

Chemical Engineering? Gildroy asked, shocked.

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I heard it takes a lot. Good luck.

Wallace looked at him with a straight face. I don't

see the problem with that.There isn't a problem with it. Gildroy said. It's

just really hard.

People just think that things are difficult because

they don't want to put effort in things. It's not that it's hard

or difficult, people are just too lazy. There was a long

silence.He's right on that one. Leslie added. Medicine is

also difficult unless you're passionate about it.

We got in the car. Gildroy began to drive us away

from the university. We were heading back to the place

where we grew up. The small town in which we were

raised was just about ten miles away. The problem with

Wicke's Village was that there was nothing really there. Itwas an empty little town. As teenagers, we had nothing to

do on the weekends. Gildroy and I would often take a bus

and leave town. Wicke's Village was part of Waterglade,

which was the main city. Downtown Waterglade was

beautiful, especially at night. So far, I've only spent time

there twice, or maybe three times. In order to get home, wewould have to pass through Waterglade, and possibly the

downtown area.

As we were on the highway, the rain began to pour

down a little more. The daytime sky got a little darker with

the company of bright flashes and thunder.

Are you serious? Gildroy demanded, commenting

on the weather.I love this. Wallace said. Nobody heard him,

because he was cut off by Leslie.

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I hate the rain. Leslie sighed. I looked over at

Wallace, who was with me in the back seat. Being cut off

or unheard made him mad. I understood. If someone heardme say something while being cut off, I would be

humiliated. But everyone seemed to listen to me. I couldn't

help it in Wallace's case.

Well I heard that Kurt was having a party. Gildroy

announced while driving. He flipped on the windshield

wipers and the tears of the sky were flicked off.Who's Kurt? Leslie didn't know Kurt. I wasn't

really familiar with Kurt either.

Kurt is my roommate's brother. You know Keith,

don't you? I soon became familiar with him. I met Kurt

once when I visited Gildroy in his dorm room.

Well he's throwing a party. I'm guessing that his

party will be at his dorm room. I'm not throwing one inmine. Gildroy spoke, looking out at the highway.

There was a storm brewing in front of us. I wasn't in

favor of storms, but I thought this one looked nice. I was

sure that the warm temperatures made it look wild the way

it was. The sky was dark and the lightning was purple. It

had an electric look. It went well with the song that wasplaying on the radio.

Through the darkness, I saw a green road sign that

marked Wicke's Village five miles away. Gildroy didn't

take the downtown route as I would have expected.

Everything was starting to look familiar again. A shopping

center emerged in front of us while we were still on the

highway. The fascination was disintegrating into theemptyness of Wicke's Village. Wallace was looking out the

window as we passed the high school we all attended

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together. I looked over at Wallace, and saw the flirty

sophomore in him. I remember at that point he smirked. I

knew that he thought about the way he was in high schooljust as I did.

After all, there seemed to be more to Wicke's

Village than I expected. Perhaps it was because I saw more

in my college years. Nevertheless, it still didn't have a lot

compared to the other places I have been before.

Gildroy seemed to know where to take us. Wallace'shouse was not that far into town. It was in the large house

neighborhood. My parent's home was a few blocks away

from Wallace's. I lived in a mildly large house in a

neighborhood that surrounded Wallace's.

The car came to a halt at a large white house. The

leaves were soaked into the lawn where two large trees

stood, with a small cement pathway in between that led tothe large front door.

This is the place. Wallace said.

Let me know when you want to be picked up.

Gildroy advised the both of us.

You sure you don't want to come? Wallace asked.

I'd like to see my parents. I might stop by if I havethe time. Gildroy explained. I felt a little like Gildroy,

wanting to see my own parents since it was convenient.

And of all honesty, I preferred to have Brooke with me too.

Wallace and I walked up the cement pathway, and

under the clash of branches that two trees made. Wallace

rung the doorbell and after a moment, a scrawny woman in

her late forties or early fiftees opened the door. A familiarsmile marked her face; It was Wallace's mother. Behind her

emerged the heavier Bill, Wallace's father.

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money with William's parents. Wallace told me that his

brother had so much money, that he really didn't know what

to spend all of it on.Frankie Livingston-Rose is the name of Wallace's

mother. She was rather scrawny, like Wallace. Frankie

never went to college. As a teenager, she worked at book

stores and was even a waitress at a couple different

restaurants. She had her first son as a teenager in high

school. This was William's older brother, Walden. Wallacetold me that he had only seen Walden once or twice. He

was five years older than William, and William was three

years older than Wallace. So Walden was about eight years

older than Wallace. Wallace also told me that he lives out of

state, but he doesn't know what state he lives in. Walden

was the actual mystery of the Rose family. He carries a

different last name because Frankie and his father separatedbefore Frankie met William and Wallace's father.

Bill, Wallace's father, seemed to have an admiration

for me. He would always treat me like one of his best

guests at the house. He offered me a dinner before asking

his own son. Well, he would ask William, me, then he

would ask Wallace. I expected that was a 'treat your guestsnicely' thing. Back then, William had changed into guest of

the house because he moved out and lived with Alexis.

Wallace got his looks from his dad. The only thing

that was different was that Bill was rather larger. He was

more meaty than his son. Otherwise, he was practically

Wallace at an older age, with receding, gray hair.

We all took a seat at the large table in the diningroom. A chandelier hovered over the table's center. Alexis

and William were already sitting at the table. William's

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face, almost identical to Wallace's, looked over at me and

his younger sibling.

Wallace Rose. William cried out contemptuously.Wallace looked his way.

How do you do?

I'm good. Wallace answered him with an obvious

lie. William seemed to pick on his younger brother the

entire time we were there. I didn't really like William for

that. Stop it! Alex demanded her boyfriend to stop.

We're delighted to have you, Ross. Bill said to

me.

Thanks. I replied.

So you're in college I hear? This was a funny

question that Bill asked me every year that I visited.

Yes, yes I am. Did you forget?Bill let out a laugh. I am getting quite old, my

friend. I laughed nervously. Wallace didn't say a word. He

looked at the lightning outside the window. I knew that he

didn't want to be here anymore. Coming here was a big

regret. I began to see that Wallace was right about the

neglect that he went through.So, what are you going to major in, boy? Bill

asked. I wasn't sure who he was addressing his question to.

I looked over to Wallace. Wallace looked over to his father,

who I found was looking at me.

Oh, I'm majoring in engineering. I told him.

That's excellent! What kind of engineering? Just

plain engineering?I don't know yet. I said.

Well, you better find out. You don't have forever,

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boy! Bill gave me the advice that I thought over myself.

And what about my son? He looked over to

Wallace.Chemical Engineering. Wallace didn't speak much

around his parents.

Bill was surprised. After a moment, he laughed.

Chemical Engineering? What're you going to do

with that how are you going to get a major in that? He

asked. Bill seemed to mock him for the difficulty of themajor.

I'll get it. Wallace said. You don't have to believe

in me. I'll do it and I'll prove you wrong. Wallace looked

at his father with menacing eyes and a straight face.

I didn't mean to anger you, boy. Bill objected.

Take it easy. If you think you're going to get it, just think

you will. Who knows? Maybe you'll get it. Bill took a biteof steak.

Well, it is kind of difficult. Alexis added. I

actually changed my major from Chemical Engineering.

I'm really good at stuff, and I knew I was going to fail on

the first day.

I'm going to get it. Wallace said, angrily. I don'tthink any of you actually have worked as hard as I have for

the past two years. I don't even care anymore. You treat me

like I'm not even a part of the family. Wallace was making

a point. You treat Ross like your son. Did you get us

mixed up? Wallace was addressing his father, more than

he was his mother.

Honey, all of us acknowledge you as part of ourfamily. You're a Rose. Frankie tried to reassure her son.

Wallace took out his phone and called Gildroy. As

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4Within the souring rain of the night emerged the

lights of Gildroy's car. It had taken him some time to drive

over to Wallace's house. Perhaps Wallace and I thought so

because we were almost getting soaked. My phone rang,

but I didn't answer it. It was Gildroy giving the signal thathe was here. We had already seen his lights.

I walked toward the car and Wallace followed

behind. In the car, we didn't speak of what happened.

So, how was it? Gildroy asked.

Pretty good. I said, speaking before Wallace had a

chance.Oh, yeah. Wallace added. His sarcasm was

obvious, but nobody asked him about it or spoke to him. I

could hear the rain pouring outside. Drops hit the top of the

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car and streamed down the windshield. Bands of water

could be seen through Gildroy's headlights. Gildroy drove

off and away from Wallace's home and into the desolaterainy night.

Much of Wallace's home was surrounded by a

cluster trees and only a few other large houses. From the

backyard of my own house, I used to be able to see some of

the tops of the houses protrude into visibility, noting that

people lived behind the line of trees.In my childhood, I do remember always wandering

and sneaking in behind the trees with several friends. When

I first noticed the forest area I always wanted to walk into

it. I loved going on adventures. Some times I used to

approach the trees so close on my own but my mother

insisted that I stay away. I never really listened to her when

it came to that. My curiosity bent me, or pulled me into thewood.

There was really only one occasion that I went into

the wood all by myself. I would only get through two trees

then turn around. The next time I went through the wood

was when I was with Wallace. He was taking my to his

house. I thought about that during the moment Gildroy

drove us away and toward my house. The complex things

that we were fascinated with as children seem to become

simple in the future. The woods and the neighborhood

within seemed to be a grand mystery to me. It always had

an influence on my childhood and it left me wondering

what was inside. But now, it's simply a neighborhood tome. My attention has been drawn away from the fine

details of the neighborhood.

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We made a pass by my house and I tried to get a

look at the front through the darkness. To me, it looked a

little different than usual. I thought at first that it wasbecause I never really looked at it during the night. The

windows were completely black. That only had to mean

that my parents and family were all sleeping, or that they

were gone somewhere.

The rain began to settle down once more. We were

approaching lights of signs. We were in the middle ofWicke's Village where all of the stores were located

together.

So, how does that place sound? Gildroy pointed

to a nice little diner that I had been to at one point in my

life.

Sure thing, I told him, I liked it there.

Good stuff? Gildroy turned over quickly to viewme.

Yes, definitely.

Wallace? Wallace answered with simply a nod,

looking out of the car window.

How about you? He looked over to Leslie. Leslie

obviously approved of it.As a young adolescent, I was taken to this restaurant

by no other than Gildroy, and I do believe that Wallace was

familiar with the place. It was, in a way, like a sports bar.

There were dim colored lights that made the place look

kind of purple and there were TV screens everywhere.

The restaurant actually provided a pretty large menu

with a variety of things. It took me some time to findsomething that I wanted to eat that night.

Wallace Rose. Gildroy looked to Wallace.

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Wallace looked up from his constand head-down position.

What's up? Wallace shrugged.

Well, I'm sitting in Wallace was interrupted.Kurt! We were just talking about your party!

Gildroy exclaimed when Kurt Abraham approached with

another woman.

Oh yeah, he said, you know, I kind of want to be

generous and make it a show up and drink thing instead of

a B.Y.O.B.Do you have the money for that? Gildroy asked.

Of course. Well, I hope so. Kurt answered him

quick and re-assuringly.

Well, take a seat. Gildroy welcomed the two to

the table.

I wish I could, but thanks anyways. Kurt told us

that he couldn't stay.We can stay for a while. The lady with Kurt

assured him.

Well I have to go Andrea, he told the girl, you

can stay. The girl didn't say anything back.

Kurt walked away, leaving Andrea with us. She took

a seat right next to Wallace. That made me smile a little bit.I tried to aim my smile at Wallace, but he wasn't looking.

Wallace. Andrea called him in a soft voice.

Wallace looked to her, confused.

Do I know you? Wallace asked Andrea.

You may not know me, but I know you. Andrea

smiled at Wallace. Everything seemed mildly alright for the

two of them. My hopes or Wallace Rose began to go up.I tried to remember the kind of person that Andrea

was. I felt as though I knew her from somewhere. She

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reminded me of someone that I went to middle school with

perhaps high school. I did find it remarkable that she

actually knew Wallace. It was even more remarkable thatWallace had no clue who she was.

Andrea gave off a decent first impression. She had a

look of innocence that reminded me of Wallace himself.

The two of them seemed ideal to me at the point.

Of course, Andrea really didn't stay around for a

while, but her story was an interesting one. There was aquick ending to it, presumably from Wallace's own faults.

But Andrea herself was a cradle of flaws.

Who's going to be at the party? Gildroy asked. He

looked at all of us in curious hopes on an answer. I don't

know about you guys, but Leslie and I are going.

You all should come. Andrea spoke up again.

What day of the weekend is it? Leslie asked.I believe it's going to be on Saturday. The parties

always fall into Sunday morning. It's just a tradition.

Gildroy seemed to have made the statement up. Perhaps it

was a tradition that nobody really paid attention to.

Anyone else think it's so strange that it's already

senior year? Leslie brought up.What're we going to do next year? Gildroy asked.

Where does the time go?

What are you guys going to be doing next year, or

in the future? Andrea asked, with her question specifically

addressing Leslie.

I want to be a nurse. Leslie told her.

Really? That's what I was thinking about doing!Andrea exclaimed.

It takes a lot. There's just too much to remember.

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Leslie advised her.

Is it as hard as chemistry? Andrea asked.

I don't know.Chemistry isn't that hard. Wallace spoke.

What? You're so nutty, Wallace. Andrea looked

back over at Wallace. Wallace let a grin on his face.

I could help you with chemistry if that's what

you're taking. He added.

Sure! Andrea said excitingly. I could really usesome help.

I'm sure that all of this makes engineering look

easy. I joked.

Engineering isn't too bad. Well, I guess it depends

on what type of engineering you're trying to get a degree

in.

That's true. I agreed. Electrical Engineering, Iheard, is a piece of cake.

Wallace's phone rang. However, Wallace remained

still in his position, not bothering to answer.

Gonna get that? Wallace asked Andrea.

That's not my phone. Andrea told him. To

Wallace's surprise, he found that it was his phone ringing.Someone had called him, and it was a number that he said

that he was familiar with.

I'm awfully surprised, Wallace exclaimed,

nobody ever calls me. Wallace then walked out to take

the call. As Wallace walked away and out the doors, there

was a silence. Andrea looked over the direction in which he

left. In her eye was a spark of interest. I had to saysomething.

What do you think of Wallace? I asked, smiling.

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Listen, I listened in to what Gildroy had to say,

she's not good enough for Wallace.

And by that, you're telling my that Wallace isn'tgood enough forher? I argued.

Andrea isn't a trustworthy girl. Gildroy told me,

and Leslie seemed to be in agreement.

Why? I interrogated them about Andrea.

Did you see her with Kurt there? Gildroy asked

me. Of course. I simply answered him. What about

her and Kurt?

That's like the third guy that I only know of that

she talks to. Gildroy looked over to Leslie. She sleeps

with Kurt, doesn't she? Leslie nodded. I sighed.

And Troy. Leslie added.

That's wonderful. I said, shaking my head.I don't want Wallace messing around with her for

that reason.

I understand.

She's so disgusting. Leslie said. Andrea's the

epitome of a whore.

Yeah. Gildroy said with a sigh. Sex is her onlypleasure. She's one of those who lives on pleasure.

What? I turned disgusted.

Her and Troy I don't even want to talk about it.

Leslie said.

It turned out that Andrea wasn't the right person for

Wallace. I had a harder time trying to tell tha to Wallace. I

didn't know how I was going to approach it, but I was surethat I would have to let him know as soon as possible. I

knew that if I waited too long, he would be devastated.

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Andrea had many relationships running and I

assumed that none of her men were aware about what she

was doing. I was sure that some of her men knew and didn'treally care. The problem is that there a lot of people who

don't have a superego. Many of the people that Wallace and

I knew were powered by their own Id. People would

blindly seek for pleasure, not aware of what consequences

may come.

Nobody really cared and that seemed to bother me.I'm sure it bothered Wallace as well. The value of non-

material things seemed to shoot down. Nothing mattered to

anyone anymore. It was all about what felt good. It's why

there were so many college parties. I'm sure Kurt was all

about his Id. It was no wonder why he was with Andrea.

They both satsfied each other and nothing else seemed to

disgust me more than that.It was also unbelievable that so many people sought

for pleasure. I've been to only a few college parties and I've

came to realize that Wallace and I were really the only ones

at Waterglade University that didn't attend every party. I

would see the entire school in one setting. It really

saddened me. I never rejected going to at least one or twocollege parties. It was a part of the college life. But there

were some people who were so sucked into the parties that

they forgot why they were even in school.

During the ride back to campus, Gildroy and his

girlfriend continued to tell me things about Andrea. She had

a lot of stories for someone who was known little. She had

nicknames, like the Amsterdam Andrea. I've been toldthat she was restless with her hobbies and no matter how

much she got done in a day, she was never satisfied. And

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her main man, Troy, also slept with other women. Andrea

didn't care about that; she didn't mind.

She was trying to play nice with Wallace and I letthat happen. I didn't want to prevent it though, because it

would seem like I was preventing women from speaking to

Wallace. I would have had to deal with Wallace

complaining about how much his life seemed to suck. Well,

you could do anything for Wallace, and like a liquid, he'll

fill in any empty spot.When I got back to the dorm, I called Brooke and

she was able to get into the mens' dorm and into my dorm

room.

Where's Wallace? Brooke asked. She seemed to

notice Wallace's lack of presence immediately. I did as

well.

He's out, talking to a girl. I said. I didn't dropdetails on the situation. Brooke smiled.

It's about time. She said. When do you think he'll

be back?

You know, I said, I don't really know.

I never really had Brooke at my dorm that much. It

was a promise I made to Wallace at the beginning of oursophomore year, which was two years ago. I think I did the

best I can. I knew eventually that he would have to deal

with me and Brooke once or twice or even more.

Brooke began to walk around the dorm, checking

the place out as we had little talks. One of the things she

seemed to like most was the large window that overlooked

the campus. The cloudy days always seemed to turn intoclear nights. The stars were visible and the moon was likely

a crescent.

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There was something magnificent about what we were

doing. It mounted off all of the stress that the both us had.

Oh, Ross. Brooke gasped to me. This is perfect.Although Brooke and I didn't take it to much extreme, it

was pleasurable. It was just the two of us, embracing each

other naked.

Some days, I look back on that night and question if

what we did was even right. We were both there for each

other when we needed it, Brooke and I. There's just thosetimes that all of us need a little pleasure after a long hard

day. Brooke made me feel good about myself, she made me

feel a whole lot better that night, and truly, it was just about

her presence. I felt as though I could've gotten by that night

without the affection we gave each other.

Eventually, things would accelerate, and I knew it

would accelerate quickly. My hands took on a life of theirown as they began to touch Brooke. We were no longer in

control of each other. It was a game of grabbing and

tugging, entirely in pursuit of pleasure.

The door came to an opening where the silouhette

of Wallace Rose appeared. His glasses cast a glare from the

light of the window the reflected on the surface. All hecould see was the bare back of Brooke, sitting on me.

Brooke turned around to see Wallace, then scurried under

the bed covers like a little mouse. Suddenly, Wallace was

gone.

I have to go get him. You're going to have to

leave. I told Brooke. I rushed to get my clothes back on.

Brooke did the same.I can't stand him. Brooke angrily grunted. He

always finds a way to ruin everything. Brooke stormed out

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If life wasn't about relationships, you wouldn't be

in one. Now, I know it's true that relationships don't revolve

around everything. I'm going to be a chemical engineer. I'mgoing to be making a lot of money, but who am I going to

share it with? Wallace looked back at me, then back at my

reflection in the window. I look back at my past, I look for

my faults and fear for what may result in the future.

Priorities, Wallace. I told him. Brooke isn't the

most important thing to me. My education and family comebefore Brooke. But Brooke is still an important part of my

life. I want to marry her and have a family with her. It's not

a huge likelihood, but then again, you never know how

things may turn out.

All of my things are in check. Wallace assured

me. I'm just trying to find someone who I have the

potential to start my life with after next year.I'm sure she'll come along, Wallace.

I could make a list of reasons. Wallace said. But

I'm not going to bother. Wallace walked away from the

window to lay down on his bed.

I could make a list of reasons why you're the

perfect man. And I must agree with you to say that thissociety is, in a way, corrupt.

You're right. Wallace said. Wallace removed his

large glasses and squinted. The world just seems to spin

on pleasure, pain, money... Wallace pondered. ...terror,

violence, all kinds of things.

It's screwed up. I agreed with him.

In the end, nobody really cares about anyone elsebut themselves. Wallace looked back at the window,

where nothing but darkness could be seen. Sure, we never

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I'll have to think about it. That was the last thing

Wallace said about the party. Suddenly, something came to

mind an incident that happened earlier that sparked somecuriosity.

Hey, who called you earlier today?

Oh I totally forgot about that! Wallace recalled.

It was actually an important call.

What was it about?

In a couple months, I'll be doing a presentation onSuicide Awareness some time in October, or even late

September. I want you to go to it.

As long as you come with me to this party. I told

him. Even if Wallace bailed out on me, I felt the

responsibility to show up. I would go to his presentation

regardless of his decision for me.

Fine. Wallace said. Count me in and thanks.Wallace walked over to flip off the lights. The black

window turned into a screen of stars and lights. The dorm

room went from bright yellow to dark blue in a split

second.

So what exactly is the speech supposed to be

about?It's just a motivational thing a thing to reassure

those out there who need it. After a little moment, Wallace

added, I don't want to give a lot away. Just stay tuned and

show up. I'm hoping that you'll like it.

Over that night, I did a lot of thinking. The events of

the day, as usual, seemed to replay in my head. I started

thinking about Wallace walking in on me and Brooke. Ithought about what could have happened intstead. I thought

about Wallace himself and some of the things he said. I was

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6The rest of the day was a lazy day. I sat around and

just anticipated the night. I waited for Wallace to return

from wherever he went earlier. I was going to give him a

friendly reminder that he had somewhere to go that night.

Wallace walked into the dorm room while I let timego by. He looked very professional and prepared for some

event. He gazed over at me.

What time? He asked.

Just be at the hall by Kurt's dorm at sun-down. I

told him. That's when the party starts.

I'll be there. Wallace assured me. He walked overto the window and stared out for a moment. He then walked

off and into the bathroom. Two minute later, he came out,

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I don't know what he's doing. Gildroy continued.

Have you seen Keith?

I haven't seen him. I said.Well nevermind, Gildroy said suddenly, there he

is! A young man who looked like he could be a surfer

appeared before Gildroy. Keith was Gildroy's roommate at

the time.

Where's your brother? Gildroy asked him.

Oh, he should be back soon, he said, I think he'sgetting more stuff for the party. He gave the circle a

strange wink and walked off.

Elswick! Gildroy called out as a few people

walked by. There were several loud shouts of chug and

more foul language.

Gildroy pointed to another circle on the other side

of the room.There's Walter Thorne and Oscar, two friends I

have known for a while. Gildroy then shouted for them to

come over. I wasn't a fan of being around too many people.

Conversations really weren't that interesting when they're

with a bunch of people. You never get a chance to speak

and you're always spoken over. I'm not a fan of constantinterruptions and cut-offs. I liked hanging out in small

groups where I could actually socialize with my peers. I

shared this thought with Wallace as well. I was beginning

to become curious as to where he was again. I was hoping

that he didn't cheat me out.

The two gentlemen approached our circle. They

gave Gildroy a powerful handshake.Good to see you, Gildroy. One of the men said.

Nice to see you again, fine sir. The other man

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shook Gildroy's hand again.

Well, this is Ross. Ross McKay. Gildroy

introduced me to the gentlemen.Walter Thorne. Walter shook my hand.

Oscar McKee. Oscar shook my hand as well.

Good to meet you all. They took part in our circle. Both

of the men appeared as outsiders to me. They didn't appear

to be drinking. They had no cups and they were dressed up.

I could tell easily that the two gentlemen were closefriends. They looked as though they could be related.

We stood in our circle having small talks. From

being in the circle I learned that the two gentlemen were

paid to entertain for the summer. They were both looking to

major in science courses, but I really don't remember what

specifically. I could hear shattering glasses over the loud

music playing. Voices of Waterglade filled the halls andmade noise. I was surprised that staff members hadn't come

by to end the party. I understood, though, that most of the

staff members let them happen because it would be a

failing effort to end them once and for all.

See that lady over there? Walter pointed to a

beautiful young woman.On a scale of one to ten, how does she look?

Why are you asking me? My girlfriend was no

more than five feet from me. I hadn't yet spoke to her.

One to ten, pal. Oscar added in. I was already

frustrated with them.

I take it as an eleven! Walter giggled. They both

left to talk to her. Then, I had to take a second look. Therewas something about her that I would have never admitted

there at the time. Her light blue eyes looked at mine from

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the other part of the room. The girl had a small body with

golden blond curly hair set against a pretty blue dress. I had

fallen in love with her right there. It was a thing that Iwould have never shared with anyone. It was just between

me and that girl. She looked at me as the men approached

her. Suddenly, the moment was over as she turned her light

blue eyes toward the men.

Ross? Brooke brought me back to reality.

Everything alright?Yeah, I'm I'm having a little buzz right now. I

said at that moment. Brooke kissed me on the cheek and

locked her arm around mine. My thoughts about Wallace

returned and my eyes began to wander again, undoubtedly

aiming at this other girl. I felt ashamed that I was already

occupied with Brooke. My eyes should have gazed for her

and Wallace. But my eyes were bound toward this beautifulpiece of heaven. She turned her head once again toward

me. She smiled at me. I smiled back. Brooke questioned

my smile. My answer was the buzz of course.

Do you see Wallace? I asked Brooke.

No. Do you see someone? Brooke asked. I

remember it being a trick question that I did not answer. Iwas indeed buzzed, but it wasn't by the alcohol in my cup.

Gildroy was gone and I wasn't sure where he went.

One of the other men also disappeared from my sight.

Then, I saw Leslie come up toward Brooke.

Have you seen Gildroy? Leslie asked the both of

us.

He was just here. I was trying to find him. I said. Iwas trying to defend myself to make Brooke believe that I

wasn't gazing at some other young woman.

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Aside from the beautiful woman, my eyes set on

Wallace. He was in the corner, by his self. He had a cup of

something, undoubtfully water. I pretended not to noticehim for some reason. I was hoping someone else would see

him. I didn't want to make myself look like I was trying to

track him down. I would possibly just run into him. I was

curious as to why he just stood there all alone and didn't

even bother engaging with anyone at the party.

Wallace had a fear of danger, but he had this strangedeath wish. He was curious as to how death worked. Some

nights, we would talk about some deep things. Wallace

wondered what death was like and if it was possible to have

a type of consciousness within or after death. However,

Wallace feared a threatening danger that promoted death. I

thought about what he may have been thinking as he sipped

his red plastic cup, silently, surrounded by the obnoxious,inebriated crowd. There was a glare in his glasses that I

always seemed to have caught.

Gildroy returned with the girl, but not the other two

men. Gildroy had become even more intoxicated.

Sienna? Brooke suddenly asked. Sienna. What a

pretty name.Brooke! Sienna walked by and my vision seemed

to have become a blur. Both of the girls embraced each

other. I didn't know all of the friends that Brooke had, nor

did I know the people that Brooke knew at all. I didn't

allow the relationship between me and Brooke to become

strained with control; whether that was control from her, or

control from me.I heard that Sienna Crawford was looking for a

particular fellow. Gildroy said, wobbling his head around.

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Here he is. Gildroy brought Wallace over to their

circle. This is Wallace Rose. Wallace, meet this fine young

piece of art. Her name's Sienna Crawford. Now, Sienna,meet this hands

Documents

Wallace Rose Novel