Camping is nature’s way of promoting the motel business.Dave Barry2

The Waiting Room Book has something interesting for everyone.Whether you’re a bona fide trivia expert, or just enjoy a good chuckle,

you’re guaranteed to find something to satisfy.This publicationis supported by the following:Beaver’s Pharmacy 5Everything Medical 3Keuka Family Practice 7Lake Country Estates, Inc 6Lattimore Physical Therapy 11Nicholson Pharmacy 13Owl Homes 7Ponderosa/Bath 3St. James Hospital Pulmonary Rehab Program 10St. James Mercy Health System 16Wegmans Pharmacy 4

WAITING

ROOM

B O K

• Humor • Puzzles • Trivia • FUN FOR ALL AGES!• Distributed to all advertisers...the Waiting Room Book is for YOUR

patients and their children to enjoy in your waiting room.• Filled with Humor, Puzzles, Trivia, Games, Riddles and much, much more.• LONG SHELF LIFE! Your advertisement will be seen in the Waiting Room

Fun Book for one full year!

For details and to reserve your space, just call Jack Kinney at Kinney Enterprises, Inc. • Bath, NY • 607-776-7909

* Space Options are available to fit every budget.Display sizes range from 1/4 to 1/3 to 1/2 to full pages, and Smaller Block Ads.

* All Display Ads also have optional 5 Month Split Billing for added convenience.* Spot Color is available - Make Your Ad Standout!!

DON’T BE LEFT OUT OFNEXT YEAR’S VERY SPECIAL PUBLICATION!!

The TribuneEVENING

Dr. Jones goes to the retirement home for his monthly rounds. He sees Joe and asks him, “Joe, how much is three times three?” Joe responds “59.” He goes over to Tom and asks, “Tom, how much is three times three?” Tom responds, “Wednesday.” He finally goes over to John and asks, “John, how much is three times three?” “NINE” replies John. “That’s right ...now how did you come to that answer?” “It was easy...I just subtracted 59 from Wednesday!”

You’re in great health

Fatherhood is pretending the present you love most is soap-on-a-rope.Bill Cosby 3

7108 E. Washington St., Ext.Bath, New York 14810607-776-8000109 Chemung StreetCorning, New York 14830607-936-2044

382 W. Morris St., Bath, NY607-776-4381

ProudlyServing

ProudlyServing

Storytelling is an important part of Native American culture and history.Many tribes tell the stories of their parents, grandparents and great-grandparents through oral histories, dances and ceremonies that preservetheir culture and heritage for future generations.

The Tlingit tribe from the Pacific Northwest coast of Canada and Alaskahas told its stories for centuries by making beautiful totem poles.

A totem pole is a tall sculpture that is made from a huge tree. An artistcarves a totem pole with pictures of wildlife, nature, mythical creaturesand even people. Often, whatever is put on the top of the totem pole isthe creature of the most importance, and what is put on the bottom is theleast important.

Animals often depicted on totem poles are eagles, bears, seals, mooseand salmon. All of these animals can be found around the areas wherethe Tlingit tribe lives.

Follow the directions below to make your own paper towel totem pole.

• One paper towel tube (empty)• Construction paper• Scissors• Crayons• Glue

First, color and cut out the totem pole faces that are to the left: bear,eagle, turtle and person. If you like, you can draw your own animals,too!

Then, decide which order you would like the animals on the totem poleto be in. Remember, the most important goes on top.

Next, glue your animals on the paper towel roll in the order you decide.Use the construction paper to add wings and arms to your animals.Draw the wings so they stay connected in the middle, cut them out, andglue them to the back of the paper towel roll.

Native Americans used totem poles to tell history

Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way when you criticize them,you are a mile away from them and you have their shoes. Jack Handey4

30-dayprescriptions*

90-dayprescriptions*

antibiotics*with prescription

A line is a dot that went for a walk.Paul Klee 5

7 Main Street, Canisteo(607) 698-4641

Beaver’s Pharmacy

...and you thought delivery was just for pizzas.

Homebound? Elderly? We’ll be happy to deliver your prescription --at no charge to youin Hornell & Canisteo.

Keep your dollars in thecommunity:Support independent pharmacies.

You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today. They left a little note on mywindscreen, it said ‘Parking Fine.’ Tommy Cooper6

Beautiful................................Quiet

Mobile Home CommunitySales & Service

New & Used Homes

Available For Sale...Setup & Ready for YOU!

Ask about our Storage Units

Corner of May & E. Washington StreetBath, NY • Phone: 607-776-7187

Lots available in Savona Estates!

Answers:1.Aboatwithtwinhulls;2.Ashootofaperennialplant;3.Asleepdisordercharacterizedbysuddenepisodesofdeepsleep;4.Excessivetalka-tivenessorwordiness;5.Smalltoolusedtoclampabloodvessel.

BANANAGRAMUse the three letters on the right to fill in the blank spaces

of four-letter words below.

E

O

T

S

R

P

N

1.

2.

3.

4.

QUIZYOURSELF

Here are some of thewords NationalSpelling Bee winnershave spelled correctly(and the year theywon) to take home thetop prize. Can youguess what they mean?

1. Catamaran (1959)2. Ratoon (1966)3. Narcolepsy (1976)4. Logorrhea (1999)5. Serrefine (2007)

O Q S B L E N D T J

U U O S L Q J F B X

Q A S K X B B F R B

D B N B R F V G I E

W U S E M Q B X D E

B S X L B R I B E B

L I G I I B B N E R

I N J E G P H V V O

N E U V P F A B X T

D S Q E X H T U J H

E S T U E S P Z C E

C K N B O K S Z G R

B

BEE

BEHAVE

BELIEVE

BIG

BLEND

BLIND

BRIDE

BROTHER

BUSINESS

BUZZ

WORD FINDCan you find these “b” words?

Life is what happens when you’re busy making other plans.John Lennon 7

Keuka Family Practice AssociatesSpecializing in “Family” Medicine

Caring For Families For Over 32 Years

Dennis O’Connor, MD Curtis Cranmer, MDWerner Brammer, MD Laurence Torpey, MDCynthia Ripple, FNP Karen Welch, FNP

7573 State Route 54 • Bath, NY 14810(607) 776-2247Officer Hours:

Monday-Friday 8am-5pm

Route 54 N - Bath, NY(607) 776-4191 • 800-298-2230* Doublewides * Singlewides

* One Level and 2 Story Modulars by Colony, Commodore, Astro,

Penn West & New Era Sales & Service OPEN 7 DAYS A WEEK!

After Hour Appts. Available

WeWillNOT BeUndersold!!

HOURS:Mon.-Thurs: 9-7

Fri: 9-5Sat: 9-4

Sun: 12-4

The Scripps National Spelling Bee is June 2-4.During the bee, 274 kids ages 8 to 15, allphenomenal spellers from across the country, willcompete to be named spelling bee champion. Theywill be asked to spell challenging words aloud –like isthmus, rebuttal and limousine – and whenthey make a mistake, they’re out!

Contestants in the National Spelling Bee workhard year-round to become the best spellers theycan. Do you think you could make the cut?Challenge yourself on some of the same words thecontestants answered in the 2009 Bee at theScripps National Spelling Bee website:www.spellingbee.com/sample-test.

Try this spelling game to help warm up your brain to learnchallenging words.

Sample answers for Group 1: Ace, race, rat, man, hat, ant, tan,rent, care, march

Sample answers for Group 2: Top, sit, oil, girl, pig, lips, pistol,grip, soil, stir

GROUP 1

A C E H M N R T

____________________

____________________

____________________

____________________

GROUP 2

G I L O P R S T

____________________

____________________

____________________

____________________

LOOK AT THE LETTERSBELOW. How many words canyou make using only the lettersprovided in each group? Writethe words you can find in thespace below each group. Thereare many answers (Group 1 has217 possibilities, and Group 2has 176!), so if you are doingwell, grab a sheet of paper andkeep going!

I used to think I was indecisive, but now I’m not so sure.Unknown8

The following are regrettably phrasedclassified ads that have been placed in newspapers

throughout the world.* "Man wanted to work in dynamite factory. Must be willing to travel."* "2 female Boston Terrier puppies, 7 wks old, perfect markings, 555-1234. Leave mess."* "Washing machine: free to good home."* "No matter what your topcoat is made of, this miracle spray will make it really repellent."* "Free Yorkshire Terrier. 8 yeards old. Hateful little dog."* "German Shepherd 85 lbs. Neutered. Speaks German. Free."* "Free ducks. You catch."* "Amana washer $100. Owned by clean bachelor

who seldom washed."* "Snow blower for sale...only used on

snowy days."* "2 wire mesh butchering gloves: 1 5-finger, 1 3-

finger, pair: $15"* "Shakespeare's Pizza - Free Chopsticks"* "Georgia peaches, California grown -

89 cents lb."* "Tired of working for only $9.75 per hour? We

offer profit sharing and flexible hours. Starting pay:$7 - $9 per hour."* "Vacation Special: have your home

exterminated."* "Get rid of aunts: Zap does the job in 24 hours."* "Carpal Tunnel Syndrome - Free Sample!"* "Toaster: A gift that every member of the family

appreciates. Automatically burns toast."* "Save regularly in our bank. You'll never reget it."* "This is the model home for your future. It was

panned by Better Homes and Gardens."* "Christmas tag sale. Handmade gifts for the hard-

to-find person."* "Wanted: Hair-cutter. Excellent growth potential."* "Wanted: Preparer of food. Must be dependable,

like the food business, and be willing to get hands dirty."* "Mother's helper -- peasant working conditions."* "Buy your new bedroom suite from us, and we will stand behind it for six months."* "Dinner Special -- Turkey $2.35; Chicken or Beef $2.25; Children $2.00."* "His and hers bicycles, $25 each or both for $55."* "Now is your chance to have your ears pierced and get an extra pair to take home, too."* "We'll move you worldwide throughout the country."* "Tattoos done while you wait."* "Dog for sale: eats anything and is fond of children."* "Stock up and save. Limit: one."* "Wanted to buy: fishing net, must have no holes."* "TO LET: 4 bedroom house close to town. No poets."* "Used Cars: Why go elsewhere to be cheated? Come here first!"* "3-year-old teacher need for pre-school. Experience preferred."* "Auto Repair Service. Free pick-up and delivery. Try us once, you'll never go anywhere again."* "Illiterate? Write today for free help."* "Girl wanted to assist magician in cutting-off-head illusion. Blue Cross and salary."* "Semi-Annual after-Christmas Sale."* "And now, the Superstore--unequaled in size, unmatched in variety, unrivaled inconvenience."* "We will oil your sewing machine and adjust tension in your home for $1.00."

When choosing between two evils, I always like to try the one I’ve never tried before.Mae West 9

Kid Quotes

Sometimes kids say things in innocence that are simply hilarious. Here's an assortment of selectedquotations from kids.

* "I'm being haive!" -- 2 year old son, when his mother told him told to behave* "I'm not an oxymoron!" -- 7 year old* "TNT." -- Given as an answer for a written spelling bee, when the teacher called the word "dyna-

mite."* "I'm glad I'm finally eight. This is the oldest I've ever been in my entire life!" -- 8 year old son.* "Oh, well Mom said all I had to use was the sponge and dish detergent." -- 12 year old daugh-

ter, when her father told her he used elbow grease to get the dishes clean* "Do they look after the Pokemon?" -- City kid, when asked what a gamekeeper does.* "Why don't you get some expensive money?" -- 3 year old daughter, when told by her mother

that she could get a small toy but that the ones asked for were too expensive* "I have a rock in my nose." -- 2 year old son, greeting his mother after preschool, a full hour

after recess was over.* "There's no one in there." -- 6 year old son, in response to seeing his father hanging pictures

and tapping on the walls to find the support beams.* "Well, sometimes I say something mean to my brother, but I feel really good inside. Does that

mean I'm a hypocrite?" -- 7 year old girl, after a Sunday School teacher explained that a hypocritewas someone who says one thing but feels something else.* "Daddy, did your hair slip?" -- 3 year old son, to his bald but long bearded father* "Daddy picked them up and looked underneath. I think it's printed on the bottom." -- 3 year old

son, when his mother asked how his father knew the genders of four new baby kittens* "How will that help?" -- Kindergarten student, when the class was instructed to hold up two fin-

gers if any of them had to go to the bathroom* "They didn't see it -- it was all cut off!" -- 2 year old son, when his mother was asked how his

grandparents liked his new haircut* "Tell me when you're asleep, ok?" -- 7 year old son, overheard talking to his 5 year old brother.* "I had a fraction in my neck and had to go to the hospital for a long time." -- Fifth grader, to his

class.* "Well you're old, and you're not dead." -- "3 year old son, to his father. The comment followed

an explanation of why the father's grandparents weren't around anymore.* "Are you kidding me?! They go together like balogna and cheese! No, wait. More like mayon-

naise and bread." -- 9 year old girl, when asked if her brother and cousin hang out a lot.* "The box says you can't eat them if the seal is broken. I'm looking for the seal." -- A young son,

examining the contents of a box of Animal Crackers* "Don't kid me, Mom, I know they're my feet." -- 3 year old son, when his mother told him his

shoes were on the wrong feet* "Mommy, you said it would be a shot; instead it was a needle!" -- Boy, overheard at the hospital* "How do you put make up on your mind?" -- Girl, when told she should make up her mind.* "Watch out, Daddy. Mommy's got her eye on you!" -- 4 year old girl, after hearing her mother

telling her father that she'd take an I.O.U. for a promised restaurant dinner.* "I didn't look much -- I've only got little eyes!" -- 7 year old, about to be scolded for peeking at

her Christmas presents.* "When you were my age, you was just a baby!" -- 5 year old.* "Why don't they just do what they did in 1899?" -- On preparing for Y2K in 1999.

Everyone has a photographic memory. Some don’t have film.Unknown10

Although people have been trying to figure out thebest way to ride on two wheels for centuries, bicy-cling really took off in America in the 1890s. As aresult, 1/3 (which means one out of three) of thepatents that were filed at the U.S. Patent Office thatdecade were related to bicycles. People were invent-ing all kinds of bicycles of different shapes and sizes,and some people even rode adult-size tricycles.

1/3FIGURE THIS

Can you namethe five missingparts of thisbike? Write inyour answersbelow.

1._____________________

2._____________________

3._____________________

4._____________________

5._____________________

2

4

1

5

3

ANSWERS:1.PIECEOFTIRE;2.SEAT;3.HANDLEBARS;4.PEDAL;5.SPOKESWHAT’S MISSING?

Just because nobody complains doesn’t mean all parachutes are perfect.Benny Hill 11

YOUR ROAD TO RECOVERY STARTS HERELattimore Physical Therapy.Lattimore Physical Therapy is an outpatient orthopedic physical therapy clinic

dedicated to personal patient care and providing the highest quality rehabilitative treatment.We specialize in manual physical therapy and sports medicine for all

age groups using state of the art programs and services. Lattimore Physical Therapy has been serving the community for the past 15 years. We are the

largest privately owned practice with 13 locations in Monroe, Livingston County, and serve Steuben County. We offer extended hours of operations for your convenience and usually can accommodate same / next day evaluations.

CommonlyTreated Conditions include:» Pre & Post-Surgical Rehab» Motor Vehicle Injury» Arthritis & Joint Pain» Orthopedic & Sports Injuries» Workers Compensation Injuries» Mckenzie Certified Back & Neck Pain» Balance Deficits & Chronic Pain Conditions

Visit www.LattimorePT.com for more info & other locations

Dansville Physical Therapy40Village Plaza • Dansville, NY • (585) 335-2456

Avon Physical Therapy& Sports Rehabilitation490 Collins Street, Avon

(585) 226-2480

Lattimore of GeneseoPhysical Therapy

4577 Morgan View Rd., Geneseo(585) 243-9150

Livingston FitnessOur Fitness Center Is Open To The Public!

Riding a bike can be dangerous, but if you follow these rules youwill have a safe and fun ride:• Wear a helmet. Make sure it fits properlyover your forehead.• Make sure you have reflectors on yourbike, and wear brightly colored clothingso cars and other bikers can see you.• Make sure your shoelaces, backpackstraps or clothes don’t get caught inyour chain.• Don’t wear headphones. You have touse your eyes and ears to be aware ofeverything around you while riding.• If you are riding on the sidewalk, watchfor cars coming out of driveways, alleysand side streets.

P A D S G O G Y H B

I J K A O Z P S A R

X Y R F Q V K E N A

T I R E S U D A D K

K K K T U F G T L E

F W H Y G H F T E S

B I C Y C L E A B A

V E C K N M B B A U

B O N T L F E H R Z

M B H E S J L R S Y

I Q H A R V L B E N

P R E F L E C T O R

B

WORDFINDCan you findthese bicyclewords?

BELLBICYCLEBRAKESHANDLEBARSHELMETPADSREFLECTORSAFETYSEATTIRES

1 Always wear a helmet.2 Make a complete stop when youare first entering a street. Makesure to look both ways for traffic.3 Ride on the right side of theroad in the same direction as cars.4 At a crowded intersection, getoff your bike and cross at thecrosswalk.

5 Stop at all stop signs and redlights, just like the cars.6 If you are riding with more thanone person, always go single-file.7 Don’t ride too close to parkedcars. Sometimes, doors can opensuddenly.8 Use a bike lane whenever youcan, and don’t ride on busy streets.

Bike to Work Week isMay 17-21. Adults allacross the country willride their bikes to behealthy and help theenvironment. DuringBike to Work Week,ask your parents if youcan ride your bike toschool. If they say yes,be sure you followthese rules of the road.

THE RULES

A SITE TO SEEHead to www.nysgtsc.state. ny.us/Kids/kid-bike.htm to learn more about how to be safeon your bike, skateboard, inline skates andscooters. This site has fun puzzles and color-ing pages.

I have met a lot of hardboiled eggs in my time, but you’re twenty minutes.Oscar Wilde12

Doctors' Comments On Patient Charts:* "Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year."

* "On the 2nd day the knee was better and on the 3rd day it disappeared completely."

* "The patient has been depressed ever since she began seeing me in 1993."

* "Discharge status: Alive but without permission."

* "The patient refused an autopsy."

* "The patient has no past history of suicides."

* "Patient has left his white blood cells atanother hospital."

* "Patient's past medical history has beenremarkably insignificant with only a 40 pound weightgain in the past three days."

* "She is numb from her toes down."

* "The skin was moist and dry."

* "Occasional, constant, infrequentheadaches."

* "Patient was alert and unresponsive."

* "I saw your patient today, who is still under our car for physicaltherapy."

* "Patient has two teenage children but no other abnormalities."

* "Skin: Somewhat pale but present."

* "Patient was seen in consultation by Dr. Blank, who felt we should sit on the abdomen, and Iagree."

* "By the time he was admitted, his rapid heart stopped, and he was feeling better."

* "When she fainted, her eyes rolled around the room."

* "The patient will need disposition, and therefore we will get Dr. Blank to dispose of him."

* "The patient expired on the floor uneventfully."

You grow up the day you have your first real laugh -- at yourself.Ethel Barrymore 13

I am so clever that sometimes I don’t understand a single word of what I am saying.Oscar Whilde14

Dogs have owners. Cats have Staff.Unknown 15

• Humor • Puzzles• Trivia

• FUN FOR ALL AGES!

• Distributed to all advertisers...the Waiting Room Book is for YOUR patients and their children to enjoy in your waiting room.

• Filled with Humor, Puzzles, Trivia, Games, Riddles and much, much more.• LONG SHELF LIFE! Your advertisement will be seen in the Waiting Room Fun Book for one full year!

For details and to reserve your space, just call Jack Kinney at Kinney Enterprises, Inc. • Bath, NY • 607-776-7909

* Space Options are available to fit every budget. Display sizes range from 1/4 to 1/3 to 1/2 to full pages,as well as Smaller Block Ads.

* All Display Ads also have optional 5 Month Split Billing for added convenience.* Spot Color is available - Make Your Ad Standout!!

DON’T BE LEFT OUT OF NEXT YEAR’S VERY SPECIAL

PUBLICATION!!

Answer to puzzle on page 13 Answer to puzzle on page 13

There is no half-singing in the shower, you’re either a rock star or an opera diva.Josh Groban16