Understanding Your Teen:Adolescent Development

Presented by Danusia Nedilskyj, PhD. Clinical Psychologist

SJHS Parent Night, October 6, 2014Ps

OUTLINE

• The Adolescent Brain

• Stages of Adolescence

Normal Development of your Teen

Warning Signs

Risk Factors

Communicating with your Teen

THE ADOLESCENT BRAIN

BRAIN DEVELOPMENT

Uneven pace

Back to front Physical coordination first, reasoning and impulses last

(Prefrontal Cortex)

Does your teen... Have difficulty controlling his/her emotions?

Have a preference for physical activity?

Exhibit poor planning and judgment (rarely thinks of negative consequences)?

Exhibit risky or impulsive behaviors?

STAGES OF ADOLESCENCE

Early: 11-14 years

Middle: 15-17 years

Late: 17-21 years

ERIKSON’S PSYCHOSOCIAL STAGE OF DEVELOPMENT

Identity versus role confusion Exploring independence and developing a sense of self

Transition from childhood to adulthood

Crisis resolved, leading to strong sense of self, independence, and control

OR...

Crisis not resolved leading to unstable sense of self , confused about selves and future

WHAT IS IMPORTANT TO 11-14 YEAR OLDS??

Changes in their bodyHaving friendsPrivacy

WHAT IS IMPORTANT TO14-17 YEAR OLDS??( Middle Adolescence)

Fitting in

Fitting in

Fitting in

WHAT IS IMPORTANT TO 17-21 YEAR OLDS??( Late Adolescence)

Future goals (work, school)

Relationships (1-1)

Family

WHAT IS TYPICAL TEEN BEHAVIOR?

Identity

Privacy

Desire to control

Peer interactions

Mood changes

Sexuality

ATYPICAL BEHAVIOR

Academic Red Flags Sudden drop in academic achievement

Cutting classes, tardiness, or truancy

from school

Behavioral Red Flags Sudden change in friends

Problems with authority, poor conflict resolution

Excessive dependence

Poor impulse control

ATYPICAL (cont)

Emotional Red Flags

Sudden mood swings

Feeling down, hopeless, worthless

Signs of frustration, anger or stress, difficulty concentrating

Poor self-esteem or lack of motivation to succeed at school

Hearing voices or seeing objects/people that are not there

Physical Red Flags

Signs of self harm (scars on hands, stomach, thighs; burn marks)

Aches and Pains

Rapid weight loss or weight gain

Excessive fatigue

RISK FACTORS FOR MENTAL DISTRESS

Genetic factors Low esteem Having a learning disability Isolation Having chronic medical condition (diabetes, cystic fibrosis, cancer) Substance abuse Family history of mood disorder Home conflict (i.e., divorce, parents who use substances,

unsupportive family Extreme academic pressure Exposure to trauma: Assault/rape, bullying, domestic violence,

community violence, child abuse, chronically chaotic environment.

TALKING WITH YOUR TEEN

Love and Connect Their world is changing, make sure your love doesn’t.

Monitor and Observe Pay attention to their activities, your involvement matters

Guide and Limit Remember to be both firm and flexible

Model and Consult (with teachers, pastor, pediatrician, etc). Be a good example for your teen

HOW TO TALK-COMMUNICATING WITH YOUR TEEN

Use connection, not separation, to encourage compliance

Don’t teach, JUST LISTEN

Stay Calm

Keep Talking!

Emphasize strengths

and what they’re doing

RIGHT.

Focus on self-awareness and

self-regulation instead

of “bad behavior”

REMEMBER

Your teen WILL make mistakes--NORMAL!!

YOU will make mistakes—NORMAL!!

Important to check your own emotional reactivity to your teens mistakes.

RIGHT-SIZED MISTAKES VS. WRONG SIZED MISTAKE

Ex. of a “right-sized” parenting mistake—overreacting when you worry about your child’s safety VS. “wrong sized mistake”---they got a C or lower on a quiz or paper.

Oftentimes, overreacting (and possibly even under-reacting) to a “right-sized” mistake can lead to the teen shutting down and withdrawing from you, trusting you less, etc.

Each time you communicate with your teen is an opportunity to learn from it and find ways to strengthen that bond even more the next time. “Nothing’s finished, nothing’s perfect, and nothing lasts”—Wabi-Sabi

WHO CAN SUPPORT?

Talking to school personnel

Ask about available supports: tutoring, after school programs, special education services

Talking to physician

Ask about normal adolescent development, ensuring healthy behaviors (substance abuse, reproductive health, screen for mental health issues)

Referring to mental health services

Check with insurance carrier for benefits, Info line (211), inquire about private practice providers, have your child assessed to rule out certain factors (i.e., ADHD, Learning Disability, Depression or Anxiety, Language Disorder

Parent Support

Other parents, church or social groups, parenting classes are all valuable resources to remind you that you are not alone!

QUESTIONS? COMMENTS?

THANK YOU