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Police Locomotive | 7 Day Live Music Guide | Christmas Dodges
Bullet
VOLUME ONE
ISSUE TWELVE
12 .27 .12
HeHADN'TstoppedChristmasfromcoming!IT
CAME!Somehoworother,itcamejustthesame!
DrSeuss
SS
Crush the line every week at The happy cow, The Black whale
pub,PRickly pear lounge, scores sports bar & grill or buffalo
wings & rings.
take your shot at $10,000! Hurry, the deadline to turn INyour
Week 17 picks is Saturday at 5pm!
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2 TX CITIZEN
table of contents
1st WordGet out of jail, free!
5Himmel, Ink
Our in-house Jew denies theWar- on -C hr ist mas.
Advice fromUncle Esel
Got a problem? You will.
12
11
15Last WordColby runs down the ramicationsof the Sandy Hook
tragedy.
4
MusicFlashback Interview:Dave Jorgenson
7
MegatorialThe Christmas thatalmost wasnt.
10
The CountysMost WantedLook mom! Daddys in the paper!
Ask a MexicanGustavo offends in two languages.
Your Horoscope,Featuring the Heavenly Bodies
Dont make a move without it.
14
8Citizen SoundcheckThe ONLY guide of its kind forthe NB/SM
Metroplex!
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W RD
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TXCITIZEN.COM 3
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651 S. Walnut
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April is backat Mollys Salon!
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830.237.7835
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First o all, I want to thank New
Braunels Police Chie Tom
Wibert or putting me on
his Christmas card list. Its
an especially nice gesture
considering the wringer
weve put him through, in
this very column, over the last
year. The tank, the tear gas, the tow-
truck iasco the man is nothing i not
a good sport, and must be given major
props or having the ability to remaincool under pressure -
which, when you
think about it, is probably a quality you
want in a police chie.
The rst thing I thought when I opened
the card was Good lord. The cops have
a reakin locomotive engine to go with
the tank. I was then taunted by my co-
workers, their aux-paranoid hypotheses
being that the Chie was letting me know
that I am on his radar and should watch my
step, or, more likely, that Wibert is himsel
taunting me - providing me with a taste o
my own medicine, so to speak. I, as the
most rational thinker in the oce,
saw it or what it was right o
the bat: A ree pass or every
time I get pulled over by a
New Braunels cop.
I carry it with me
everywhere now. Any time
I nd mysel about to pay the
price or a lapse in good judgment,
Im just going to whip it out and show the
attending ocer that Tom and I are tight,
and assure them that they can go back toarresting real,
inner-tube-foating-in/beer-
and-soda-can-drinking-rom/potato-chip-
bag-eating-out-o criminals while I nish
my gas station robbery. Or whatever. So
ar I havent had the opportunity to test the
pass, but, lets ace it, sooner or later Im
going to punch a Golden Tee machine and
itll come in handy as heck.
\m/
Mike Reynolds
Publisher/Editor-in-Chie
W RDST
MIKE
REYNOLDS
WITH
/TXCitizen
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4 TX CITIZEN
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MONDAYDECEMBER 31
THE GEORGES END OF YEAR
ROCKABILLY DANCE PARTY SPECIAL!Feat. The Georges + The
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8pm $5
There is not, and Never HasBeen, a War on Christmas
America is becoming
more secular. But the
religious are ghting
tooth and nail or what
they think is their rightul
place at the top o the American heap. For
years they have been claiming theres a war
on Christmas and that non-believers are trying
to take the religion out o CHRISTmas, as
many o them write it.
But there is no war. There never was awar on Christmas.
When I was a kid, I looked orward to
Christmas all year long. Though I was raised
a reormed Jew, Christmas was where it was
at. The songs, the decorations, the parties, the
presents. My mother converted to Judaism,
so her side o the amily was Christian and
obviously celebrated Christmas as most
amilies do, with a tree, presents and a big
gathering. My ather, though Jewish, also
celebrated Christmas with a tree, presents
and a big gathering.
His mother loved the season or the same
reasons most o us do. Its pretty, she told
me when I asked why they did Christmas in
a Jewish household. I would go to get a tree
and give the man one dollar. Id take whatever
tree hed give me or that dollar. Usually, it
was missing an entire side, but what did itmatter? We put it in
the corner anyway.
I loved how pretty everything was and
how happy people were. Christmastime is
just so much un!
We had a Christmas tree in our house.
We decorated it as a amily. We had lots o
ornaments. Each year, my brothers and I would
get a new one to add to the tree. Christmas
morning, wed run downstairs and tear openthe gits rom Santa
Claus. Wed check to see
that he ate all the snacks we put out or him
and the reindeer. Mom would make a big
breakast. Wed get dressed, play with our
new toys and get one o the toys taken away
by Dad because we were ghting like brothers
do. Then wed head to Moms parents house
or an aternoon with my grandparents, our
aunts, uncles and seven cousins.I remember cold cuts or lunch.
Dinner
was at Dads parents house. We would have
more presents with two aunts, uncles and
our cousins. I remember brisket or dinner.
It was a wonderul, wonderul day lled with
laughter, ood and presents.
Some would categorize my childhood
Christmases as being too commercialized.
And theyd be wrong. Yes. We gave and
got presents. But we hugged and kissed and
enjoyed our amily. And thats important to do
on Christmas. There was no religion at all during
the day. But I always knew that Christmas was
the celebration o the birth o Jesus Christ, who
many considered to be the Son o God and the
Messiahincluding one ull side o my amily.
I always knew, even as a Jewish kid
playing the Nintendo game Santa gave me,
that i it werent or Jesus, there would be noChristmas. And that
would mean no Mike
Tysons Punch Out.
Everyone knows that Jesus is the reason
or the season. Amazon.coms CEO is a
guy named Je Bezos. Hes not a Jew, not
a Muslim and most likely went to church to
pray to, and about, Jesus. I bet he knows that
i Jesus wasnt around, his company would
not be the success it is today. Thank you,
Jesus, he might even say every Black Friday.
Calling a pine tree decorated with lights
and ornaments a holiday tree is ridiculous.
Its a Christmas tree. Its origins are German.
The rst o these trees were set up in the
town squares where men and women would
meet to dance and probably hook up, then
set the tree on re. So, i you want to talk
about sticking with traditions, lets head to
Rockeeller Center to get laid and burn things.Santa Claus is not
the bad guy. I believe in
Santathe spirit o what he stands or anyway.
Just like I believe in many o the teachings o
Jesus. But I also believe in the teachings o my
grandather Pete McGreehin, a Christian who
was born o Israeli decent and grew up getting
teased and picked on by kids who called him
a no-good, lthy, rotten Jew.
I just laughed at them. They didntknow the dierence between a
religion and
a nationality. Theyd call me a no-good,
lthy, rotten Jew then get on their knees to
pray to one. Ha!
No one is trying to make Jesus to go
away. No matter how secular this country
becomes, believers still attended midnight
mass on Christmas Eve. Even an atheist has to
recognize that Christmas is only a result o Jesus
Christ. This war, its all in your heads. Many
doth protest too much, me thinks. What is it that
Jesus said in Matt, chapter seven? Something
about not pointing blame or aulting others
without recalling your own aults and the blame
that may belong to you. I think He was saying,
Dont show your ass and start trouble.
No, there is no war on Christmas. Enjoy the
peace time. Jesus would. Hed also say thank
you or the git you got Him rom Amazon. I bethed even help me
decorate my treeeven i
His goal was to convert me to Christianity.
David Himmel has sung with Judy Collins, had lunchwith Dick
Cheney and was once beaten up by a girl.Despite all that, David is
generally known as a sweetguy. Read more rom him at
himmelink.com.
HIMMEL, INK.
Not the tightest graphic analogy, but man, we
just couldnt pass this one up.
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6 TX CITIZEN
Back in September, Mike Reynolds had thepleasure o sitting down
with Dave Jorgensonbeore his gig at Tavern in the Gruene, andthe
ensuing interview took an immediate turnthat qualifed it as First
Word material. We
think its good enough to rerun. Enjoy.
Mike Reynolds: Where you rom?Dave Jorgenson: Im rom Kansas.Mike:
Really? What part?Dave: North, north eastern. Like around
Topeka and Lawrence.Mike: You ever been to Cawker City to
see the Worlds Largest Ball o Twine? Ohman, its so cool.
Dave: No, I never have. I should go there,though. I did see the
Worlds Biggest SwimmingPool in Coeyville. Well, they said it was,
theywere probably screwing with me, though.
Mike: Been to the Worlds LargestMcDonalds on the Will Rogers
Turnpike?
Dave: No, but Id like to go there.Mike: Its pretty alright,
except when you
get inside, its a McDonalds. So what broughtyou to Texas,
then?
Dave: To play music. Its supposed to be
the live music capital o the world - well, Austinis. It was
either here or Nashville. At the timewhen I moved, a couple o guys
in the band,the girls we were dating, their jobs couldtranser down
here. So we were like, Letsgo down there. I played in the area,
around
Austin, or a long time. I moved here in 1997,and Ive been
playing ever since.
Mike: You live in New Braunels now?Dave: I live in Kyle.
Mike: So youre Austin adjacent.Dave: Yeah. I like to be close to
Austin,but not in Austin. I like Kyle, its a smalltown. I grew up
in a small town. So it makesme eel like Im home more, not in the
city. Ilived in Austin or a while, and I needed toget out o
there.
Mike: So what have you been doing?You play just around here?
Dave: Ill play pretty much whereeversomeone calls me up to. I
went to China in2008 to play. I went to Australia that year,too. Im
going to Spain to play next month.So, I go play anywhere.
Mike: How does a country music guyget booked into going to play
in Spain andChina? I mean, China? Really? China? Howdo you get
booked into going to China?
Dave: Its crazy. People, they go to thewebsite. I get a lot o
hits on the website,and theyll call me up. Actually, I
represented
Houston, they were sister cities, and they justpicked us out o a
bunch o people, I guess.They gave me a call, and I got picked todo
that. That was really cool. We were likeroyalty over there. It was
a bunch o acts romall over the world. Like, they had Aborigines
rom Australia. There were opera singers romRussia, dancers rom
Greece.
Mike: Youre a cultural oddity to them.Like a two-headed cal.
Dave: Well, they made sure we wore ourcowboy hats. We had to
have cowboy hats.They wanted the yee-haw and all o that. But,hey,
it was a ree trip to China! We did twoshows, and played a total o
six songs, thewhole time, that was it.
Mike: Did you eat dog?Dave: Not that Im aware o. I hope I
didnt. I did go to some pretty scary restaurants,though. The
last day I was there, they hadtaken us to all these nice places, we
hadour own guide and our own bus that took usaround and everything.
The last day we werethere, we could do anything we wanted to do.So
I told her I wanted her to take me to, like,her little hamburger
joint in my hometown, youknow, where she would go. So, she took us
tothis place, and it was pretty scary.
Walking in, there were all kinds o cageswith like dogs and cats
and snakes andeverything you could think o around the bottom
o this place. We went up there and ate. It was atrip. I tried to
approach it open-minded. BeoreI went, I said, I dont know what Ill
be eatinghal the time, but Im going to try it. There wereonly a
couple o things I didnt try. I could tellwhat they were. I was
like, Naw. Nope. Not
gonna do it. I didnt want to oend anybody,but no. It was cool,
though, it was.
Mike: Whats the vile thing youve eatenwhile out o the
country?
Dave: Probably, uh, what is that meat pieor whatever down in
Australia?Mike: Vegemite?Dave: Yeah.Mike: Oh, Vegemites horrible.
What is
that? Its like rancid meat. Like peanut butterthats been let out
too long.
Dave: Yeah, its bad. Its like rottenhamburger in a potpie. Its
unny, when I wentover there, the people I stayed with, I toldthem I
wanted to try some Vegemite. And theytold me, No, you dont. And I
was like yeahI do, Im over here, I want to try it. They wereright.
I didnt want to try it.
Mike: What kind o crimes have youbeen a victim o while on
tour?
Dave: You know, nothing really.Everywhere Ive gone, everybodys
beenreally nice. Especially China. They rolled outthe red carpet
over there.
Mike: Well, o course they rolled out the
RED carpet.Dave: Exactly. But it was kind o cool
being at the beer joint and having peoplewatch you. Theyd stand
up there and watch
you. They had them on the street corners,they were
everywhere.
FLASHBACK INTERVIEW: Dave Jorgenson has never eaten dog.
Probably.
Mi e: W at o t e next six mont s oo And in hind sight, I think
people want to hear I wanted to get it, even though I thought
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7/30/2019 TX Citizen 12.27.12
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Mi e: W at o t e next six mont s oolike or you?
Dave: For the last year and a hal, Ivebeen playing with a band
out o Austin prettyregularly. I got to where I wasnt playing awhole
lot on my own, and I kind o backed o.Theyve been playing in Austin
since 1976,theyre called Peoples Choice. Its mostlycover stu. They
play almost every weekend.Their singer got really ill, and
eventually
passed away with cancer. So I went in andstarted helping them
out. And it turned out, Ido about 90 percent o their shows now
andabout 10 percent o mine.
I still like to play at least our or ve showsa month o my own.
Theres like our or veplaces that I still play at a lot. I play here
atTavern In the Gruene a lot. I play at Bos Barnin Salado. I play
the Thirsty Horse in SanAntonio quite a bit. And the Stetson Bar
and
a place called The Stockyards, both in SanAntonio. Those are the
ones I keep regularly,but, like I said, its just whoever calls. Ill
goplay whereever. It dont bother me any.
Mike: Whats communist beer like?
Dave: It was pretty good. Tsingtao. I you
get a chance, try it. Tsingtao, not Chingao.
Thats something totally dierent.
Mike: You got records? A website?
Dave: You can always see where Im
playing at the website, davejorgenson.com. Ihave two albums. The
rst ones called Then
& Now. I made it quite a while ago. Most
people like that one more than the other one it
seems like. And I think its because they heard
it rst. Like, anybody who knows me rom the
rst one, they love it, and then theyre like,
I dont know about the second one. And
anyone whos got the second one rst is like,
Oh, that old albums no good.
Mike: I you listen to the White Album
rst, then go pick up Rubber Soul, youre not
going to be happy with The Beatles
Dave: People evolve, you know, what
they do. I like to think thats a good thing.
When I did my rst one, I didnt know what I
was doing, and I learned a lot. I knew more
o what I wanted to do on the second one, so
I believe the second one is a little bit more like
me, but I think theyre both good. Theyre allmy own songs. I
didnt use any song writers
on them. I had all these songs I was sitting on,
and I was going to pay to make an album, I
didnt want to do somebody elses junk, you
know. I might as well get my own stu done.
And in hind sight, I think people want to hearsomething they
recognize.
When Im doing a show, and I tell people
Im going to do one o my own songs beore
I do it, nobody gets up, they look at me like
they dont know what the hells going to go
on. But i I just do a song, the whole dance
foors ull, people are having a good time,
and they dont even know. Then, ater Im
done, Ill tell them that that was a song omy album, theyre over
here or sale, and its
dierent. Oh, and my second albums called
We Have a Winner, I orgot about that one.
Mike: Do you play all the instruments?
Dave: I play acoustic and I sing. Ive
messed around with other instruments, but
thats what I do when I play. I almost always
have a guitar player, a bass player, a
drummer and a steel player with me when I
play. On occasion Ill get someone else, like akeyboard or a
ddle, but pretty much always
have my ve-piece.
Mike: Does your guitar have a name?
Dave: No, not really, but its been all
over the world. It looks like its been beat to
hell. The guitar that I made the leather pick
guard or got stolen. (Dave is also a leather
worker, and made a pick guard and shoulder
strap or his guitar.) Ive been to China andeverywhere, and
everything was ne, but I
got ripped o in South Austin. And it makes
me sick, because I put a lot o work into that
thing. But, I did make the strap or this one,
my Tak (Takamine). This guitar that I use all the
time, I bought it in 1992 when I rst started
playing. Its got a hole in it where I play it. Its
kind o cool.
Mike: Youre rockin a pretty sweet mic
and stand.Dave: I had a riend o mine make the
mic stand or me. I have barbed wire in my
little logo, and I told him I wanted a big,
gigantic piece o barbed wire or a mic
stand. At rst, it was just metal, and I was like,
Thats not nearly white trash enough, I want
it to be chromed. So, I took it down the road
rom where I work at and had them put some
chrome on it. The eet are actually railroadspikes. I used to
have an old-time microphone,
and I tried, unsuccessully, to put LEDs in it to
make it light up. Im not very good at that, I
guess. So, I was just looking online at cool
mics, and I ound this one.
I wanted to get it, even though I thoughtit would probably sound
awul, but it actually
sounds really good. Its made by a pretty
reputable company. Its a Heil Fin. They had
blue and red and white, so I got the white
one. I thought I could play in a beer joint with
it, but also play a wedding, and it would look
good. Im not so sure red would look so good
at a wedding.
Mike: Kiss has Beth. Bon Jovi has
Wanted Dead or Alive. Bob Segers got
Turn the Page. Clearly the rigors o touring
turns some musicians into whiney babies. Do
you have a road song?
Dave: No, but I have a song about my
job, (Rat Race on the album We Have a
Winner). Honestly, Id love to be on the road.
For a while, six or seven years, when we rst
started playing when I was in Kansas, we
used to play a lot like in Wyoming, Nebraskaand New Mexico. We
traveled a lot. And
thats what Id really love to do.
Mike: You ever been to Douglas,
Wyoming? Home o the Jackalope?
Dave: I dont think so. But Ive played
in Rock Springs, Wyoming, the Home o
10,000 Nationalities, at least thats what it
says on the sign going into town. It was crazy.
That place was a little scary, playing up there,
but a lot o un. Good times.Mike: What else you up to?
Dave: Id like to get another album going
in the near uture. Ive got a ton o songs Ive
done. Im thinking about recording it in a
dierent way than my other two, so Im kind
o taking my time on that, looking around or
a place to do it. I want to do a little bit more
o what I want to do. Not that the other two
werent done well. But, I cant put one o my
albums in and listen and not cringe when I
hear certain things. My goal would to be able
to listen to my album, the whole thing through,
and think that its all good, not have to cringe
at all. Nobody else hears it, its just me.
Mike: Whats your avorite beer?
Dave: I drink a lot o Dos Equis. Im not
really much o a beer guy. I drink Southern
Comort pretty religiously.
Mike: And were on the record that youdid not eat dog, to the
best o your knowledge?
Dave: No, I did not. And I dont condone
it. I wouldnt have done it i I would have
known I was doing it. But, over there, you just
kind o go with the fow.
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Live Entertainment
Full Bar
Pool Tables Darts
367 Main Plaza
830-625-6605
NEW!Smoke free lounge upstairs!
SILK SCREENING
T-SHIRTS
BAGS
KOOZIES
SCHOOL SPIRIT
& MUCH MORE!
[email protected]
786 S Castell Ave #DNew Braunfels, TX 78130
-
7/30/2019 TX Citizen 12.27.12
8/168 TX CITIZEN
Thu 12.27Adobe Verde
Garrett Heinrichs8pm
AJs Ale HouseRock & Roll Sing Along Piano Bar Show9pm
Billys Ice HouseMario Flores & The Soda Creek Band8pm
Black Whale PubBlues Buzzards9pm
Cheatham Street WarehouseDry River religion9:30pm
Gruene HallJohn Arthur Mar tinez1pm
Cody Canada & The Departed8pm, $20
Oma Gruenes Secret GartenJam Night w/ The Kinfo lk6pm
On The Hal Shell Oyster BarJunior Nash9pm
Phoenix SaloonLucas Taylor
5pm
Rileys TavernPeppers Blues9pm
River Road Ice HouseBig Red Drum Showcase8pm
Tavern in the GrueneScott Wiggins
8pmTriple Crown
Erickson6pmCarlton Pride & Mighty Zion8:30pm, $5
Uptown Piano BarAshley Stone8pm
Fri 12.28Adobe Verde
Colt Landon Baker8pm
AJs Ale HouseRock & Roll Sing Along Piano Bar Show9pm
Billys Ice HouseMatt Begley9pm
Black & Tan PubVlad the Impaler, Dealan Lloyd Boules8pm
Black Whale PubTBA9pm
Cheatham Street WarehouseJordan Minor & F riends9pm
Gruene HallBo Porter Trio1pmReckless Kellyw/ William Clark
Green8pm, $22
Oma Gruenes Secret GartenPeppers Blues6pm
On The Hal Shell Oyster Bar3 Man Front9pm
Phoenix SaloonSteven Vee & Kori Free & Friends5pm
Rileys Tavern
Ratliff Dean Thiebaud9pm
River Road Ice HouseThe Damn Quailsw/ Horseshoes & Hand
Grenades8pm
Tavern in the GrueneMonty Guitar Tyler8pm
Triple CrownJoel Hofmann Band6pm
Are You Crazy?, Those Nights,T-Bone & The Bluetones, Ghosts
of Dixie9pm, $5
Uptown Piano BarBarry Adams8pm
Vino en VerdeMarty & the Must Haves8pm
Sat 12.29
Adobe VerdeBrandon Bolin8pm
AJs Ale HouseRock & Roll Sing Along Piano Bar Show9pm
Billys Ice HouseThe Crooks8pm
Black & Tan PubMarty & the Must Haves8pm
Black Whale PubT-Bone & The Blue Tones9pm
Cheatham Street WarehouseAdam Johnson Band9pm
Gruene HallFlat Top Jones1pmRoger Creagerw/ Jason Cassidy9pm,
$25
The Happy CowJackson Par ton8pm
Oma Gruenes Secret GartenLesti Huff1pmBackwater Boulevard6pm
Phoenix SaloonEnd of Year Rockabilly Dance PartyThe Georges8pm,
$5
Rileys TavernAmanda Jo Cevallos9pm
River Road Ice HouseKyle Reed Bandw/ Hunter McKithan & The
Offenders9pm
Tavern in the GrueneTBA9pm
Triple CrownIzzy Cox, The Death Dodgers,
AC & The Bad Bi llys, The Flametr ick Subs8pm, $5
Uptown Piano BarJohn Maclean8pm
Vino en VerdeIsis the Voice9pm
Sun 12.30Adobe VerdeAriell e Nico le8pm
Gruene HallSeth Walkerw/ The Peterson Brothers12pmCasey Donahew
Band8pm, $20
Oma Gruenes Secret GartenKim Meeks & Her Bad Habits
2pmPhoenix Saloon
The Al Barlow Show2pmTBA7pm
BROUGHT TO YOU BY
-
7/30/2019 TX Citizen 12.27.12
9/16TXCITIZEN.COM 9
Fri 12.28
AntonesCowboy Mouth
w/ The Preservation, Miggs
8pm, $15-$100
The Continental ClubClub Lineup:
The Blues Specialists, 6:30pm
Two Tons of Stee l, 10pm, $10
Two Hoots & a Ho ller, 12am
Gallery Lineup:
The Robert Kraft Trio, 8:30pm
The Mike Flanigin Trio, 10:30pm, $5
Floores Country StoreBob Schneider & Whiskey Myers
8pm, $20
Red Eyed Fly
Federation of Horsepowerw/ Chris Gates & Gatesville, The
Heroine,
ESE
9:30pm, Outside
Sams Burger JointBand of Heathens
w/ Drew Kennedy
8pm, $15
Stetson BarTexas Thunder9:30pm
Thirsty Horse SaloonSmall Town Habit
8pm
Sat 12.29
AntonesHayes Carll
w/ Corb Lund, John Evans
8pm, $20-$160
The Continental ClubClub Lineup:
Redd Volkart, 3:30pm
Jones Fami ly Singers, 9:30pm, $15
The Relatives, 11pmPeterson Brothers Band, 12:30am
Gallery Lineup:
Scarlett Olson, 8:30pm
The Mike Flanigin Trio, 10:30, $5
Floores Country StoreJason Boland & The Dir ty River
Boys
8pm, $20
Red Eyed FlyPeter Reed & the Back Road Kingsw/ Hey, Girl
9pm, Inside
Holy Ka-Kow
w/ Pocari Shred, Descendants of Erdrick,
Deserts of Mars, Ethereal Architect
8:30pm, Outside
Sams Burger Joint
Del Castillow/ Ruben V
8pm, $20
Stetson BarChris Saucedo & New Age Outlawz
9:30pm
Stubbs BBQBlack Bone Child
w/ Megabig
9pm, Inside, $8
Thirsty Horse SaloonNick Lawrence Band
8pm
Mon 12.31
Billys Ice HouseWes Nickson8pm
Black & Tan PubSteven Roloff
8pm
Black Whale PubTBA
8pm
Cheatham Street WarehouseNew Years Eve Party Pot Luck Supper
Doctor G & The Mudcats9pm
Gruene HallDanny Brooks Band1pmStoney LaRue
w/ Brandon Jenkins8pm, $65
The Happy CowHill Country Gentlemen8pm
Phoenix SaloonBig New Years Eve Ex travaganza
Javi Garcia8pm
Rileys TavernThe Beaumontsw/ Shakey Jake9pm
River Road Ice HouseKyle Reed Band
8pm
Tavern in the GrueneMidnight River Choir
8pm
Texas Music TheaterRay Wylie Hubbard
w/ Uncle Lucius8pm, $40 for Reserved Seating
Triple CrownPeppers Blues6pmLesser Antilles, Chasca, Buzz n
Bangs10pm, $5
Vino en VerdeMatt Pfannstiel9pm
Tues 1.1Billys Ice House
Steven Roloff & Kyle Reed8:00pm
Cheatham Street WarehouseFirst Tuesday Blues Jam9pm
Gruene HallSouth Austin Moonlighters12pmWalt Wilkins & the
Mystiqueros4pm
Guy Forsyth8pm
Rileys TavernManzy Lowry9pm
Tavern in the GrueneRoots & Branches of Americana7pmThe
Blooms9:30pm
Wed 1.2Cheatham Street Warehouse
Kent Finlays Songwriters Circle9:30pm
Gruene HallBo Porter1pmThe Georges6pm
Rileys TavernTyler Cannon9pm
Uptown Piano BarJohn Maclean8pm
OUTOF
BROUGHT TO YOU BY
COMAL COUNTY SASK A MEXICAN!
-
7/30/2019 TX Citizen 12.27.12
10/1610 TX CITIZEN
By Gustavo Arellano
Dear Mexican: Long time reader,
rst time writer. I need some advice. My
wie, (whos a hal-Mexican L.A. native,
just so you dont think were a couple o
white hipster dickheads), and mysel,
(whos white, but an immigrant, so Ihope that lowers my dickhead
actor
a little), have had it up to our orejas
with our Hispanic neighbors music.
He plays it so loud, being in our living
room is like being in a bass bin lled
with tubas.
I have asked him directly (at 11
p.m. on a Sunday) to turn it down,
which he did, but now every time he
sees us come home, he either starts
it up, or cranks it up i its already
playing. Te thing is, hes not having a
esta. Ever. Hes a sad little man sitting
all alone in his garage, getting drunk
and scrolling through his iunes. I
dont want to hate this sad, little man,
but its getting out o hand.
Our Mexican riend inormed us
that the music he was playing was ElSalvadorian, and really
ghetto. Im
not sure o the genre or origin mysel,
but it sounds like banda and cumbia
made with a cheap Casio, packaged
with low-res artwork and possibly sold
at truck stops. See how depressing
this is getting? I I were to blare the
traditional music o my homeland at
earsplitting volume every night, people
would be burning egies o Rush onmy doorstep without blinking an
eye.
I dont want or need silence. I
love music. Im a musician mysel. I
just want to be able to have a drink
and a smoke with my wie in our
yard without having to yell over top
o his music. Can you suggest a good
approach to get him to turn it down?
Call the cops? Id rather not. Fight re
with re? I have access to a PA system
that could bury the whole block, but
Im not that guy. Hes that guy. Any
advice is greatly appreciated.
Not that guy
Dear Hoser: You say youre not
a pendejo hipster, but then you prove
yoursel otherwise. Trotting out your hal-
Mexi wie as proo that youre not racist
is the rst indicator, (dont you know that
Mexicans are the biggest racists against
Mexicans?), then you say your tormenter
listens to El Salvadorian music, a genre
that must exist alongside Britishtarian at
your local record store.
Despite being a musician, you cant
distinguish between banda and cumbia, even
though the ormer is a genre while the latter
is a rhythm, and then speculate that the music
is pirateraas i thats somehow shameul.Then you top it o by
name-dropping Rush
pinche pendejo gentriying hipster!
Despite all these sins, I do eel or you.
Your vecino is a pendejo, especially ater
youve asked him politely beore to turn the
volume down and he now cranks it up as a
chinga tu madre to ustedes. Calling the cops
is a waste o everyones tiempo, and Im
tempted to tell you to learn how to conductconversations at
ear-splitting volumes like any
good Mexican (ask your wie). But, still: you
asked nicely, and the neighbors a jerk. So
do what any Mexican once spurned would
do: call la migra.
Dear Readers: As usual, gracias
again or a wonderul 2012. Withouyour eternal love, hate, and
purchases
o my books, Id be just another Mexican
working in an industry thats going the
way o the Olmecs. Feliz Ao Year, and
to a chingn 2013!
MOST WANTED
$200REWARD
COMAL COUNTY S
BENDER,
SHERI MICHELLEFemale 504 180 lbsDOB: 10/22/1976CHARGE: Failure
toappear for motion torevoke for theft of
firearm
DEVINE,WAYNE LELANDMale 510 145 lbsDOB: 01/13/1955CHARGE:
Drivingwhile intoxicated 3rdor more
GONZALES,
FLORENTINORICHARDMale 509 160 lbsDOB: 05/03/1952CHARGE: Four
countsof indecency with achild and four counts ofaggravated
sexualassault of a child
GARCIA, ESTELLAGUADALUPEFemale 502 170 lbsDOB: 07/02/1990CHARGE:
Credit cardor debit card abuse
ARMENDARIZ,
MARISSA NATALIAFemale 502 185 lbsDOB: 04/21/1994CHARGE: Credit
card
or debit card abuse
HODGES,
DOUGLASMale 511 190 lbs
DOB: 03/29/1975CHARGE: Motion to
revoke for theft ofproperty over $1500under $20,000
MEDINA, ANTONIOPEREZ JR
Male 510 135 lbs
DOB: 01/06/1993
CHARGE: Theft of
property over $1500
under $20,000
MARTINEZ,BENITO III
Male 510 270 lbsDOB: 01/10/1984
CHARGE: Motion torevoke probation for
burglary of habitation
NINES,
DEBORAH LYNNFemale 507 180 lbs
DOB: 02/25/1965CHARGE: Burglary
of habitation
MORALES,MARCOS RIVAS
Male 508 170 lbs
DOB: 01/22/1962
CHARGE: Theft of
property under $1500
with two or more
previous convictions
The names listed have been released in accordance with the Texas
Public Information Act Code 552.001 st.seq.annotatedPublic Record
and Information disclosure statues. This is a true and accurate
account as of Monday, December 17, 2012at 11:00 am and may not be
current by the time it is read. Do not try to apprehend anyone. For
anonymous tips and rewards,
please contact Crime Stoppers at: 24-Hour Phone number
830.620.3400; Mon-Fri 8am to 5pm 830.620.3411. These are
listings of criminal warrants with the Sheriffs Office and are
not indicative of guilt or innocence. Officers are to verify
thestatus of each warrant prior to making an arrest. Any person is
innocent of wrongdoing unless proven guilty in a court of law.
FOR INFORMATION LEADING TO THE ARREST OF COMALCOUNTYS MOST
WANTED.Callers will remain anonymous.
830.620.3400 - 24-Hour
830.620.3411 - Mon-Fri 8am to 5pm
-ARR
ESTED
-
-ARR
ESTED
-
Ask the Mexican at [email protected], be his an
onFacebook, ollow him on Twitter @gustavoarellano or ask him a
video
question at youtube.com/askamexicano!
ASK A MEXICAN!SPECIAL YEAR-END EDITION
-
7/30/2019 TX Citizen 12.27.12
11/16
MEGATORIAL
-
7/30/2019 TX Citizen 12.27.12
12/1612 TX CITIZEN
According to the ront page o the Herald-
Zietung last Thursday, NBU had stolenChristmas just another
inaccuracy rom the
Houston-owned paper, as Christmas went
o without a hitch this Tuesday. There was
stung and everything.
The story that ollowed that headline
was about the Knights o Columbus Keep
Christ in Christmas banner debacle, and
the protest it spawned the day prior to the
article. NBU had removed the two signsrom City property, as they
didnt conorm
to the utilitys standard or the use o those
spaces namely that they be used to
promote undraising events or local non-
prot organizations and riends o ans o
esus lled the downtown plaza to make their
dissatisaction known. The act is, there are
no takebacks when it comes to the highly-
popular deity, and once the word Christ
is printed, it cannot be removed or relocatedor any reason
without being considered an
outright act o war against the baby Jesus.
Heres what everyones missing here:
The signs werent taken down because o
what they said they were taken down or
what they didnt say. They didnt say Come
to the Keep Christ in Christmas Fundraiser
at the K.O.C. Hall this Friday Night at 7.
That would have almost certainly passedmuster (youve got to be
creative when
dealing with this stu).
Despite what youre hearing, this is
not the City, or NBU, coming down against
local Catholics out o some kind o long-held
German Protestant prejudice, or punishing
the Catholic Church in general or its loyalsupport o President
Obama or two straight
election cycles. The idea that NBU would
have allowed the signage had it been
placed there by Oakwood Baptist is nothing
short o preposterous, (probably), so lets put
that one to rest as well.
NBU was also accused o actually taking
Christ out o Christmas, which, while the
utility does wield signicant power aroundtown, is impossible.
You cant take the Christ
out o Christmas anymore than you could
remove the X rom Xmas. Or City Manager
Michael Morrison rom City Hall. Cant be
done. This stu is permanent.
Both banners were moved to private
property immediately ollowing their removal
rom NBUs overhead cables across Landa
Street and Seguin Avenue, but the act that
they were taken rom one place and reset atanother, (in the case
o Landa Street about
100 eet away), apparently put the holiday
itsel in grave jeopardy. Religious statements
hung on private property are not nearly as
potent as ones displayed on public property.
It makes a dierence. And rankly, we cant
argue the logic put orth by the protesters.
Per the Herald, heres what they had to say:
Were tired o every other source ospirituality being condoned
while Christians
have literally been crucied
Patricia Jones well reasoned argument
comes in response to the Citys insistence
that Buddhist, Muslim, Hebrew, Hindu and
Scientologist clergy be allowed to lead
prayer in Council Chambers prior to everyCity Council meeting,
and then carry out
the crucixion o a Christian as part o the
consent agenda.
Pastor Chuck Huckaby o First Protestant
Church added this cogent analysis o the
situation when asked about the organizers o
the event, which was well-publicized in local
media or days ahead o time:
This is spontaneous. No one knows whothe leaders are so it must
be the Holy Spirit.
Indeed it must. No question about it.
From now on thats going to be our stock
answer to readers who ask questions we
dont eel like researching and theyd
better not press us on it, because, hey, who
are they to question the Holy Spirit? Nobody,
thats who. So watch it, buddy.
Here are a ew nuggets o reason
rom our Facebook coverage o the story
atacebook.com/txcitizen:
the (people) that go through the
motions o CHRISTmas and dont believe in
what the holiday stands or really bug the
poo out o me!
Who cares what you want, (name
withheld). CHRISTmas predates you and the olks
on here who are anti-Christ The MAJORITY o
people in this town, whose wagons were hererst, brought
Christianity with them. NBU needs
to listen to the MAJORITY.
(Name withheld), something tells me that
I am living a FAR more blessed and charmed
lie than you. In act, with my little Google
tools and what not, I already know that to be
true. The dierence in me and you......I giveALL o the honor and
glory to Jesus Christ!!!
I am sure the Angels are rejoicing
that Heaven is receiving little innocent souls
rom the recent tragedy. That is a glory-lled
moment that an atheist will never understand.
December is a time to rejoice. Lets not cast
our pearls beore swine. Merry Christmas!!
We have to back our reader up on the
above statement. We interviewed severalatheists or this piece
and couldnt fnd any tha
understood the glory o rejoicing in the wake
o a mass child murder. Shockingly, not one o
them was willing to acknowledge any o the
obvious good that immediately ollows a kid
shooting, and seemed insistent on ocusing
only on the evil o the act and the grie o the
amilies aected. We were stunned by thei
moral blindness, to say the least.
Well close with this one, whichunortunately sums up the entire
problem with
this community, which is being plundered by
a ew elite individuals:
I only all o the energy spent by olks
commenting on this thread could be ocused
on the mess at City Hall, you might have a
chance to save your City.
On a related note, NBU is expected
to soundly reject next years proposed Its2013 - Keep Satan in
Santa banners, a
decision that should provide cold comort to
those whose 2012 holiday was destroyed
by NBUs ham-handed, yet ultimately utile,
attempt to remove Christ rom Christmas.
MEGATORIAL
-
7/30/2019 TX Citizen 12.27.12
13/16TXCITIZEN.COM 13
BE NICE!BE NICE!
-
7/30/2019 TX Citizen 12.27.12
14/1614 TX CITIZEN14 TX CITIZEN
HAPPY COWa n u d d e r k i n d a p l a c e
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FORGREATOFF
ERS
&GIVEAW
AYS!
Your Birthday this WeekWITH THE "HEAVENLY BODIES", HELEN AND
EILEEN CUNNINGHAM
Hey kind Capricorns! The stars tell me 2012 was a
bad bag of skunk barely worth flushing down the
toilet as the cops ran up the stairs and kicked in
your bathroom door. However, those same stars
say for 2013: Papa's got a brand new bag of good
fortune! I see a new illegal enterprise on thehorizon, like the
show Breaking Bad, only without
the bad stuff. I'm not saying you should start selling
drugs. But if you did, the stars say it would work
pretty well. Happy New Year!
Dear Capricorn,
The new year is nearly upon you and I. Another
year older, more withered, aged, and alone. But
don't feel down! Take my advice: just pierce the
pineal gland of someone society won't miss and
mix it into your favorite cocktail. You will feel
and look younger. This doesn't have anything todo with astrology
at all. This is just something I
actually do every year to stay alive, and now,
you can too!
BE NICE!YOU GET
MORE TOYS
THAT WAY!
BE NICE!YOU GET
MORE TOYS
THAT WAY!
830.358.7200
180 W. Mill St. Ste 200New Braunfels, Texas
(Across from McAdoos)
830.620.47001714 Hunter Road
Gruene, Texas(Next to Adobe Verde)
&
-
7/30/2019 TX Citizen 12.27.12
15/16TXCITIZEN.COM 15
Power Grab
Not surprisingly, the mass shooting at Sandy
Hook Elementary School has ignited a heateddiscussion about gun
control and the security
o our children. Though its early, and emotions
are still running high, or many people animportant part o the
healing process will
be trying to do somethinganythingthat
might help to make sense o the tragedy, or
oer hope or a greater meaning to it all. This
is the same reason we oten see trite religiousplatitudes passed
about; they oer some
limited salve to the psyche. None o this willreally make the
loss any less devastating or
those who suered it, but it oers a orm osocial contact that is
welcomed even when it
is not helpul. Politicking and activism will not
bring one child back to the arms o a parent,
and barring that, any other action will becold comort to be
sure. Still we try. Even the
president is getting into the act.
In his address to the vigil in Newtown,
President Obama began by oering hissympathies. As a ather
himsel, it was easy
to see that Obama was aected deeply as he
stood at the podium. Ending at that would have
been appropriate, but it wouldnt have been
politically prudent. Ater a calamity such asthis, people want
answers. They want solutions.
They want to be sure that this will never happen
again. And, when you cant give them any o
that, youd better come up with something.
For Obama, this something was a vagueand generalized call to
action. He suggested
that we are ailing our children and that we
have to do more, that we cant tolerate this
anymore and that although the problem isa complex one that will
not be solved easily,
we have an obligation to try. My greatest
concerns were the ollowing two quotes: I
will use whatever power my oce holds andI there is even one step
that we can take
to save another child I know rom pastexperience that whatever
power means
whatever overreach I can get away with, and
I know that when we talk about saving justone child, that
critical thinking skills have
been shelved in avor o emotive expediency.
Let us assume or a moment that
whatever power the president has is
essentially unlimited. (I have no doubt that hewill.) What could
he do to make sure this
doesnt happen again? I can think o about
a hal dozen things almost immediately.
What i we were to relocate all elementary
schools classrooms to bank vaults? They
would likely be sae there. How about a SEAL
team or each and every school or retrotting
all schools so that they are impenetrable
underground bunkers? Think o how this willimprove the
unemployment rate and stimulate
the economy. Perhaps we should just do away
with elementary schooling altogether; therecertainly wouldnt be
any more elementary
school shootings i we did that. O course, the
president isnt talking about any o this; hes
talking about gun control.
There isnt anything wrong with that, at
least not as ar as he has gone so ar. I do hope,
though, that he will choose good leadership
and careul debate over demagoguery when
it comes time to do something. I dont want
the president to do whatever is in his power
or do whatever it takes to save just one child.
I want him to make good policy decisions,
preerably based on constitutional limitations
and veriable acts.
In that vein, Id like to correct just a ew
o the allacies I have heard bandied around
or the last week:
This tragedy could have been avoided
i the assault weapons ban o the 90s
had not been repealed.Im araid that just isnt so. First o
all,
the weapon used in the Newton massacre
wasnt part o the assault weapon ban o
the 90s. Secondly, there is no evidence that
suggests that this crime couldnt have been
committed with any number o weaponsor no traditional weapon at
all. Timothy
Mcveigh managed to kill quite a ew more
people without ring a shot. The truth is thatperect saety is a
antasy. We might limit the
number o these types o events, but we will
never end them completely.
These events (school shootings) are
becoming all too common.
Uh, no. These events have always been
rare, and they are still rare. School violencehas, in act, been
down over recent years.
The latest ew may represent a spike, but
there is no evidence to suggest this is a trend.
Our culture is where the problem lies.
We have either spent too much time
watching TV and playing video games
or too little time praying to God.
I cant say this isnt true, but I can sa
that there isnt any real evidence to suppor
it. I would like to think that God could oesome more inventive
and spectacular orms
o smiting i he really wanted to, and ther
doesnt seem to be a real uptick o violencin recent years that
can be tied to culture. This
nicely debunks the notion that we currentl
ace a crisis as well. Look at homicide rates
or the United States compared to othe
countries. Its actually quite scary. We are,and have been
consistently, a violent country.
The graph over long stretches o time is nearlfat; at best it
might be lowering a bit.
Many countries in Europe and othe
areas o the world dont have this
problem because they have stricter gun
control laws.As I mentioned in the last correction, i
is certainly true that we have more violenc
than most developed countries around th
world. The reason why is questionable abest. While gun ownership
rates are lowe
there, they have been or quite some time.
There are also distinct cultural dierences to
consider. Add to this that the United States is
more diverse than just about any country in thworld (racially,
economically, ideologically),
and it becomes very hard to say what actors
account or our tendency toward violence.
Guns are a convenient target, but there is
good evidence to suggest that they are not thactual culprit. The
Swiss, or example, hav
lots o guns, but dont seem as predisposed to
violent action as we are.
I have run out o space, but there ara lot more allacies to clear
up. I will work
on some more next week. As always, i you
have a point to make o your own, the TX
Citizen Facebook page at acebook.com/txcitizen is a great place
to do it. You can
also send me a Facebook message i youdlike to address me
directly.
You can read more rom Kelly Colby at
yourfrstshrug.blogspot.com.
Welcome to kindergarten! Therell be coee and ree pens at
recess.
C ll U F All Y L i N d !
-
7/30/2019 TX Citizen 12.27.12
16/16
Check out these listings & more online at
DLeeEdwardsRealty.com1111 N. Walnut Ave. New Braunfels, TX
78130
2660 E Common St New Braunfels, TX 78130 3400 sq ft. Offinished
office space for lease. Ready for your busienss!
242 Lake Forest - Very Nice 3BR, 2BA in Canyon Lake - $1250
2755 Maple Tree St New Braunfels, TX 78130 GreatInvestment
Opportunity! Clean, well maintained duplex onMaple Tree. Each unit
is a 2/2/1. Total monthly income of$1550.00! Come see it while it's
still available!
MLS #: MD191080A List Price: $171,852
1642 FM 2673 Canyon Lake Over 2000 sq ft. of spaceavailable for
immediate lease in Old Thyme Plaza, one of
Canyon Lakes prime locations!!!
7090 Chimney Rock - Great Double Wide Mobile with over1200 SF,
on 1.248 acres in Canyon Lake - Only $875
617 Encino - Lovely 4BR, 2BA on hill top in New Braunfels-
$1475
Call Us For All Your Leasing Needs!
Residential & Commercial!
DUPLEX
FOR RENT
DUPLEX FOR SALE OR LEASE
FOR RENT
LEASE SPACE
FOR SALE OR LEASE
FOR RENT FOR RENTFOR RENTFOR RENT
LEASE SPACE
2144 Gruene Rd New Braunfels, TX 78130 Great
InvestmentOpportunity! Clean, well maintained duplex on Gruene
Rd.beside Torrey Park. Each unit is a 2/2/1. Total monthly incomeof
$1550.00! Come see it while it's still available!
MLS #: MD191077A List Price: $181,288
UNDER CONTRACTUNDER CONTRACT
For rental and leasing info,please call Frankie Matos
830.515.5101
For purchase info, please call Lee Edwards 830.620.7653
