Tolerances

“What comes to mind when you see or hear the word tolerances?”

Definition:• capacity to endure• the allowable deviation from a standard • The point at which a Family Teacher/Treatment Parent determines

that a behavior is inappropriate is referred to as there level of tolerance.

• diminish limit-testing behaviors• clarify expectations• promote self-control• youth view you as more fair/ feel safe• allow for more teaching• decreases staff stress• aids in implementation of treatment plan

• Maximize Youth Success• Program Philosophy

Rationales for Low Tolerances:

Traditional Tolerance in Youth Care

• Traditionally, tolerances have been high in child care because:– Sympathy versus teaching– Youth condition Staff– Nurturing versus Teaching– Belief that youth can’t– Response to Severe Outbursts

Negotiating Tolerance Levels• One of the obvious ways of determining your tolerance level and

explaining it to the youth is by establishing a set of rules in your home.

– This process does have some pitfalls.• The rules must be age appropriate.• Too few rules produce a lot of gray areas which can cause conflict between

the Family Teacher, Associate Family Teacher, and youth.• Too many rules can produce a system that is too complicated for either the

Family Teacher or youth to remember.

• Looking at the guidelines for determining appropriate and inappropriate behavior, sit down by yourself and determine:

– How many rules are you willing to enforce and with what consequences?– Make individual lists and be specific.– Sit down and discuss each of your rules and rank them as to importance.– Establish a permanent list that is mutually satisfying and All are willing to

enforce.

unacceptable

acceptable

High Tolerances

Sympathy vs. Teaching

Nurturing vs. TeachingBelief That Youth Can’t

Youth Condition StaffResponse to Outbursts

Signs of High Tolerances

• Teaching Ratios above 11:1

• Youth moving up motivation system without having achieved basic skills

• Loud noise levels in the home

• Staff listening to complaining and whining vs. teaching

• Staff being called by nicknames

• Increased youth arguing

• Youth consumers

• Organization and maintenance of self and home is poor

• Violations of house / Youth Village rules allowed

• Do not intervene in other Family Teacher’s interactions

• Do not give staff members feedback in front of the youth

• Make sure they are in shape to receive it

• Start with a positive or empathy statement

• Be specific• Give rationales• Use “I” instead of “You” statements• Allow the other person input• If it can’t be given in a calm voice

tone, WAIT!• Be encouraging

Things to Avoid

unacceptable

acceptable

Interferes with RelationshipsViewed as Punitive

Not Seen as FairDoesn’t Demonstrate Concern

Avoidance BehaviorsNot Youth Preferred

unacceptable

acceptable

We will accept socially appropriate behaviors which will benefit the youth

at home and in the community.

Teaching Low Tolerances• Model• Be specific• Support with rationales• Set clear rules and expectations

– Preventively teach– Praise and reinforce approximations– Explain alternative behavior– Respond to rather than react to behavior

• Sympathy and understanding are essential components of working with youth. – There is such a thing as too much understanding, namely when it leads to tolerating

misbehavior.• Youth with behavior problems tend to teach staff not to deal directly with their

problem behaviors. – Youth teach this by:

• Intensifying their problem behaviors initially when staff confront them;• Punishing staff who try to deal with a problem behavior by avoiding future interactions

with that staff member or by arguing that the staff member is picking on them unnecessarily, or

• Arguing that the staff member does not really care for the youth and that the staff is showing a lack of concern or care by emphasizing the youth’s inappropriate behavior.

Results of InconsistentTolerances

• Youth confusion:– Youth don’t understand your expectations– Makes it harder to learn a new skill.

• Less effective treatment• Creates tension and conflict among staff• Creates tension and conflict between youth and staff• Youth view staff as unfair• Can Result in tolerating inappropriate behavior.• Family Teachers/Treatment Parents need to maintain tolerance levels

that exist in the community.• Do not tolerate any behaviors which can cause negative consequences

for the youth who live in their homes. – By tolerating inappropriate behavior:

• A Family Teacher actually is teaching the youth inappropriate behaviors. • The failure to teach appropriate behaviors is both ineffective and unfair to the

youth.

Feedback Process• Constantly evaluating youth behavior

– From this evaluation: • Family Teachers/Treatment Parents provide youth with feedback on which behaviors

might be helpful or appropriate, and which behaviors might be unhelpful or inappropriate to their success both in and outside the home.

• Feedback is how tolerance levels are communicated to youth.• It is critical to be descriptive in your definition of appropriate and

inappropriate behaviors when giving feedback to youth, so that the youth will have an accurate perception of the tolerance level.

• Observing when you praise, correct, cons equate and when you feel comfortable with a youth’s behavior:

– you can determine your personal tolerance level. – if you find you are correcting, teaching or cons equating less frequently than you feel some

internal reaction of discomfort, then your tolerance level may be too high. – if you feel you are continually correcting, teaching, or cons equation, it may mean your

tolerance level is too low.

To determine if a behavior is appropriate or inappropriate, you will:

• Decide if it makes you uncomfortable:– If it bothers you, it will bother someone

else.• Conflicts with the norms of society

(laws, etc.)• Breaks a rule in the Teaching-Family

home• Is physically harmful to any living

being• Is an extreme emotional outburst• Causes discomfort or embarrassment

to others• Puts the reputation of the home in

danger• Will lead to negative consequences for

the youth• Is not appropriate for the

circumstances under which it occurs

• Use social Validity:– From your experience, you know if a

behavior is important– You know when something is trivial, or

that most people in society would think is unimportant

– The behavior will cause the youth not to be accepted in any positive part of society

Area of Acceptance

• If we will accept socially appropriate behaviors which will benefit the youth at home and in the community, then we will:– Respond with corrective teaching when a youth’s behavior

crosses out tolerance level, and– Respond with effective praise when a youth’s behavior does not

cross out tolerance level– Your role as a Family Teacher or Treatment Parent is to decide

when the youth’s behavior crosses your tolerance line, and react to it with praise or correction.

WHAT WILL YOU ACCEPT???

Notes

Low Tolerance Levels

• What is the effective range for your positive to negative ratio?

• What does “Does not reflect appropriate discrimination” mean?

Cons equating Appropriate and Inappropriate Behavior

• With the group, use your tolerance level to decide if the behavior calls for Effective Praise or Corrective Teaching. You can assume that the youth in the example have been in you home for at least a month.

– “Will you help me with my homework?” Jan said in a pleasant voice.– “Hello, my name is Mark. It’s nice to meet you, “ he said while looking

down without offering a handshake.– “Fine, whatever, “ Amy said after I told her no.– John looked at me, smiled and said “Thank you,” when I told him he

tried hard on his home visit.– Tyler yelled down the stairs for Jose to come up to the family room.– Alexa Greeted her caseworker by saying “Hey, whaz-up?”– Trevor rolled his eyes when I told him to set the table.

Cons equating Appropriate and Inappropriate Behavior

– Tony used a calm voice and said, “I know you were concerned about me coming home late, but I think the consequence I earned is too high.”

– When Mary saw that my arms were full, she opened the door and said, “may I help you?”

– Nancy reclined on the floor next to her boyfriend when he came over to watch a video.

– Nancy Reclined on the floor next to her boyfriend when he came over to watch a video.

– Simon turned up his radio so he could hear his music over his roommate’s radio.

– Susan said, “We was going to go to the store, but we don’t know where it’s at.”

– John was ready for school with his hair washed and combed, and his clothes clean and in good repair.

– Nathan put his elbow on the table and reached for the mashed potatoes at dinner.

Cons equating Appropriate and Inappropriate Behavior

– Henry pulled his hair back in a pony tail and put in his gold stud earring.

– Miguel said, “Is it alright if I make a long distance call to my friend?”

– Anna’s room contained an ink picture with the words “death,” “blood,” and “kill.”

– Time wore his pants in a large size with the waist pulled sown to his hips.

– June said “okay” and got her books when I asked her to get ready for study hour.

– Jason Sighed and looked down when I told him he earned a negative consequence.

Negotiating Tolerance Levels

• Another common pitfall when establishing tolerance levels in you home is when the Family Teacher and the Associate Family Teacher are unable or unwilling to maintain those rules. This can cause major conflict between Family Teachers and is readily perceived by the youth, the old adage of “divide and conquer.” some rules to remember here are:

• A balance between your personal discomfort and the actual communication of your tolerance level is one way to determine the appropriateness of tolerance. Another means is by the principle of “social validity.” Social validity broadly defined is the convergence of a youth’s behavior with the norms of the larger society in which he/she will be living. For example, historically, Boys Town youth were permitted to be irregularly punctual for campus jobs because the jobs were not crucial and because they were to serve the youth.. Even though this was appropriate for Boys Town, The principle of “social validity” would judge this inappropriate because employers outside Boys Town would not tolerate erratic work attendance. Any time we allow institutional concern or past troubles a youth has had to tolerate inappropriate behavior, we are violating the principle of “social validity” and have a tolerance level that is too high for the youth to learn important skills.

Tolerance

• The Teaching-Family Model operates upon the principle that inappropriate behaviors most frequently are signs that the youth does not know the appropriate behavior for that situation. So, the basic task of the Family Teacher is to teach the youth new skills and appropriate behaviors where inappropriate behaviors of the youth occur.

• Before a Family Teacher can teach appropriate behaviors, he/she has to have the ability to perceive and describe the inappropriate behaviors being demonstrated by the youth in the home. This skill allows the Family Teacher to decide when to teach new appropriate behaviors and new skills.

• As a Family Teacher identifies opportunities to teach more appropriate behaviors, he/she is making the discrimination between what is perceived as appropriate youth behavior and what is seen as inappropriate youth behavior. Essentially, the Family Teacher is letting the youth know which behaviors will and will not be tolerated. Each Family Teacher will make the discrimination between appropriate and inappropriate based upon his/her own level of tolerance of youth misbehavior.

• Of course, every Family Teacher will establish different levels of tolerance, based upon their own experience and willingness to tolerate certain inappropriate behaviors. Historically, staff in institutions learn to tolerate many inappropriate behaviors from youth in the program. There appears to be several major reasons for this phenomenon:

• Institutions frequently establish their major purpose to be the taking care of youth, rather than teaching new skills to youth. Staff often times believe that youth in institutions are not capable of performing at levels of appropriateness which are normally expected of individuals by society and consequently, set goals lower.

• Staff who work with problem behaviors tend to attend more to grossly inappropriate behaviors (e.g., running away, fighting, vandalism) than to those behaviors which are more subtle…

• …(e.g., frowning and looking away when cirticized, using one-word answers to questions, unpleasant facial expressions and voice tones, mumbling under the breath when receiving instructions). While grossly inappropriate behaviors my be the reason why some youth are placed in institutions, it is their inability to perform the more subtle, appropriate social behaviors that results in their lack of success in social situations outside of the institution. Staff tend to tolerate the subtle inappropriate social behaviors when youth exhibit many more grossly inappropriate behaviors.

Determining between appropriate and inappropriate behaviors

• Once a Family Teacher has determined whether a behavior is inappropriate or not, he/she needs to communicate that tolerance to the youth. It is this communication of tolerance levels that is critical to teaching the youth appropriate behavior. This communication takes the form of feedback from the Family Teacher to the youth, when the Family Teacher defines for the youth which behaviors were appropriate and which were inappropriate.

• Family Teachers let their youth know which behavior will be tolerated in various ways. Whenever a Family Teacher tries to teach a new skill to a youth, he/she is describing to the youth appropriate and inappropriate behaviors.

• …(praise for appropriate and disapproval for inappropriate behavior) teacher the youth which behaviors are to be tolerated under various circumstances.

• …Every time a Family Teacher cons equates a youth for his/her behavior, the tolerance level is being communicated. Also, when a Family Teacher praises a youth for doing a task or practicing a skill, the Family Teacher’s tolerance level for behavior is communicated.

• Besides teaching youth which behaviors are tolerated by means of the formal teaching interactions and behavior cons equations, It is important for Family Teachers to realize that every mode of feedback.

• The determination of Family Teacher’s tolerance levels is critical so that opportunities to teach new skills and more appropriate behaviors can be identified. As those behaviors are taught to youth, the youth will come aware of which behaviors are appropriate. Tolerance, then is taught to the youth, and the Family Teacher’s descriptive feedback and consequences are the means by which youth learn which behaviors are to be tolerated.

Tolerances

This training presentation is available for download at:www.utahparenting.org

© 2007 Utah Youth Village.