tips for long-lasting relationships

“We live, work and play together which can be intense,” Maureen says. “We love spending time with the family, we enjoy food, wine and sharing the fun times. It means we have a strong relationship.”

Maureen and Leo’s tips for long-lasting relationships

• Try to see things from your partner’s point of view. Have some empathy and understand what’s happening in their lives

• f you’ve made a mistake, say sorry. Don’t sulk!

• It’s easy to stop communicating so make time to talk – and listen - to each other. If you’ve got young children you often talk about them but not each other so make a point of finding out how each other’s days have been.

Meet MaureenMaureen Smith has been married to Leo for 50 years. They met at a dance at Stockport Town Hall when they were just 17 and 19.

“He asked me to dance a number of times,” remembers Maureen. “I thought he was different to the other boys. In the early 1960s you were either a Mod or a Rocker and he was a bit of a Mod which appealed to me. He got the last dance of the evening so I must have known then he was special!”

They were married two years later. Leo’s job soon meant they had to move across the Pennines to Hull. “There were a lot of tears when we told our families because you only used to move round the corner in those days,” says Maureen. “It was the first challenge we faced as a couple but in many ways it made us stronger. We had to stand on our own two feet.”

Three children followed and several more moves around the country before they settled in Billericay in Essex. But it wasn’t all plain sailing.

...but sometimes relationships need a little help. The day to day stresses of working, bringing up children, caring for older relatives or money worries can cause tensions. So how do you deal with them? And what are the secrets of being happy together for years to come?

More advice from older people for successful relationships

Being best friends“I’ve been married before and Alan was the only one I was friends with before we got together. We were friends for about 18 months and it’s made a real difference to our relationship. We don’t always share the same taste in music or have the same views but we accept that we’re never going to agree.”

Carol, 69. Married for 16 years

Give and Take “The secret of a successful relationship is give and take. One of you can’t rule the roost. You have to listen to each other and take each other’s advice.”

George, 96. Married for 61 years

“We met at school. He went into the Royal Air Force as part of his National Service and I really missed him. We wrote each lots of letters. Times were hard when we were first married but you had to just keep going. There’s a lot of give and take and we never row. But I did once throw a saucepan at him in a fit of rage!”

Enid and Ron, both in their 80s. Married for 60 years

“We’ve had shouting matches, everyone does,” says Maureen. “I remember when the children were small and I hadn’t had a day out on my own for seven months. Leo had promised he would be home from work early. He was three hours late and had had a couple of pints of beer on the way. I was furious and I lashed out at him. We didn’t speak for about a week. He didn’t think it was a big deal, he’d been dis-tracted by a friend and hadn’t meant to be late. But my day to myself had just disappeared.”

The couple now run an Italian cookery school and spend time with their three children and seven grandchildren.

Trust and respectTed worked away on the oil rigs so he was only home for three and half months of the year. I would get so excited when I knew he was coming home! He was my first boyfriend and I was his first girlfriend. When he retired and he was here all the time he would get on my nerves a bit! But we never took each other for granted. We would always show each other respect and we trusted each other completely. And we had a sense of humour... Jill, 67. Married for 50 years

Let’s give the last word to Leo. “The key thing is to marry the right woman! When it comes to choosing, follow your instincts and you won’t go wrong. And eat good, fresh food. It’s one of the things we love to do together.”

Love is a wonderful

thing...

More relationship

adviceRelate can help with your

relationships and family issues. Visit their website at

www.relate.org.uk

About WRVSWRVS is Britain’s largest charity working with older people. Its 40,000 volunteers help people get more out of life, by helping them live independently at home and get involved in their communities If you have an older relative, friend or neighbour who is lonely or isolated, contact us on 0845 601 5964 or visit www.wrvs.org.uk and see how WRVS might be able to help.

About the WRVS Nationwise campaignPeople of all ages are finding things tough at the moment. But older people have seen it all before and know a thing or two about getting through hard times. To share their experience across the generations, the charity has launched WRVS Nationwise, a web-based campaign created by older people to offer tips and advice to help all of us cope with life’s ups and downs.

Visit www.wrvs.org.uk/nationwise for wise words of advice on budgeting, dealing with bereavement, entertaining children on a budget, and how to get a week’s meals out of just one chicken!

Post your top tip online at:www.wrvs.org.uk/nationwise

Email your top tip to: nationwise@wrvs.org.uk

Tweet your top tip using #Wisetips

Or post it to: Nationwise Freepost, WRVS, Beck Court, Cardiff Gate Business Park, Cardiff CF23 8RP

Please exercise your common sense when considering these tips and whether to take any of the steps that may be suggested in them. The tips have been provided by members of the public who have contributed to our WRVS Nationwise campaign so whilst we hope you will find them helpful, we cannot make any promises about their accuracy or completeness and we don’t accept any responsibility for the results of your reliance on them.

What’s your top tip or piece of advice for coping in tough times?