The Nuts and Bolts of TEACHing

Gaining Confidence as a Teacher and Passing that on to Your Couples

Tessa McEwen and Eileen Wood

Here’s a useful acronym:

T E A C H

T stands for …

T is for Time-Management

Greeting, Initial remarks

Chart review,Clarifications,Corrections,Definitions and RulesEmotional,Spiritual,Relational,Confidence IssuesNext appt, Wrapping up

Greeting, Initial remarks

Greeting, Initial remarks

Next appt, Wrapping up

Next appt, Wrapping up

Chart review,Clarifications,Corrections,Definitions and Rules

Chart review, etc

Emotional,Spiritual, etc

Emotional,Spiritual,Relational,Confidence Issues

• What is the length of a regular cycle? A long cycle?

• How many BIP can you have in a regular length cycle? A long cycle? How do you identify a BIP?

• How do you chart for intercourse before Peak?

• How do you chart for intercourse after Peak?

• What are the 3 criteria for Peak?

Is it Peak with just one or two days of a change? Is it Peak if the last slippery day is followed by "wet"?

• What is more important to observe: sensation or appearance?

• How do we make our observations?

• In what situations might we expect delayed ovulation (long cycles)?

• What are the 4 Rules of the Billings Ovulation Method?

• How do you chart when rules are relaxed?

• What does "alternate evenings" mean?

• What are the 4 types of bleeds?

• How do you chart for menstruation bleed vs. any other bleed? What rule do you use for each?

• What kind of variations might one experience in her descriptions?

Q&A Refreshers during follow-ups

Encourage clients to participate in more beyond their time with you …

• Invite them to join BOMA-USA• Celebrate NFP week and invite families for gathering

T is for Time-Management

T is for Time-Management

• In the first few follow-ups, take time to build trust and rapport

Why?

• “These early stages in the encounter are critical for subsequent persistence,” 

(Ryan et al, 2011, p. 197).

• "Value behavior discrepancies come to light when values & goals are reflected on.

• "...within a supportive and affirming context, without threat or judgment, people are invited to come face to face with themselves, to reflect on their own behaviors, attitudes & values." (N.

Turner, Professor, University of Chicago).

Explore values, goals, and balance expectations

EXERCISEWhat are the three most important values you try to live by?

How do you hope your life will be different a few years from now?

What do you hope our work together will accomplish?

T is for Time-Management

E stands for …

E is for Education

Opportunities for Teacher Continuing Education:

❑ Teacher Training/Extension Course

❑ Conference

❑ Listen to conference talks on NFP

❑ Read WOOMB and BOMA newsletters

❑ Connect with other teachers

❑ Join a committee through BOMA

It is important to keep a written log to review on a regular basis.

A stands for …

The Life of a New NFP Teacher

A is for Advertising/Awareness

Okay, so maybe things did not actually happen exactly like in our little cartoon.

People are not exactly tripping over themselves and banging down our doors for our services.

Instead, we probably feel little more like Joseph in the Old Testament after he was thrown in prison.

A is for Advertising/Awareness

Close every door to me, Hide all the world from meBar all the windows, And shut out the light

Do what you want with me, Hate me and laugh at meDarken my day time, And torture my night

If my life were important I would ask “Will I live or die?”But I know the answers lie far from this world

Close every door to me, Keep those I love from meChildren of Israel, Are never alone

For I know I shall find, My own peace of mindFor I have been promised, A land of my own

A is for Advertising/Awareness

Enough of the pity party already!

We have work to do …

A is for Advertising/Awareness

Let’s get down to business, To defeat the HunsDid they send me daughters, When I asked for sons?

You’re the saddest bunch I ever metBut you can bet before we’re throughMister, I’ll make a man out of you!

Tranquil as a forest, But on fire withinOnce you find your center, You are sure to win

You’re a spineless, pale, pathetic lotAnd you haven’t got a clueSomehow, I’ll make a man out of you!

A is for Advertising/Awareness

Let’s move on to actually spreading the word!

Personal contact

Website & social media

Religious connections

Medical community

Natural health providers

C stands for …

C is for Charity

Pope St. John Paul II truly saw everyone as made in the image and likeness of God

We need to emulate that understanding and interact with our couples in a much deeper way beyond the chart corrections.

During each encounter with our clients, we want to help them to “become the best version of themselves” as Matthew Kelly says.

C is for Charity

Strive for agape love by interacting on all the dimensions of the person:

A – agape S – spiritual P – physical I – intellectual R – relational E – emotional

We want to encourage our couples to:~ ASPIRE to marital holiness and happiness~ ASPIRE to God’s design for human love~ ASPIRE to live out all of God’s commandments, including those related to marital sexuality

Fr. Joseph Hattie, Chaplain, WOOMB Canada, Whom Should We Teach?

“NFP should be taught to anyone who asks and who has reached an age where he or she can understand the knowledge requested, because teaching it is a labour of love that makes further love possible.”

“I quote an astute observation made by an Irish doctor several years ago while speaking to a BOM teacher, ‘The challenge is the need for your service – not the present or past demand for it, but the unreached, unsupported, untaught, untouched couples whose lives need to be renewed by your input.”

C is for Charity

o Empathyo Genuinenesso Unconditional Positive Regard

“The research evidence has kept piling up, and it points strongly to the conclusion that a high degree of empathy in a relationship is possibly the most potent factor in bringing about change and learning.” -Carl Rogers’ A Way of Being

C is for Charity

• “...being rigid, uncertain, critical, distant, tense, and distracted,” may contribute negatively to the relationship.

(Ackerman & Hilsenroth, 2001, p. 171)

Take a moment to think of everyone you have interacted with (including yourself) that at any point in time possessed these above.

Discord can arise from the teacher’s mood or approach: Tired, Angry, Hungry, Distracted, Urgent Problems (Simply apologize, affirm, and shift focus)

C is for Charity

Ambivalence is normal:

Directing (uses the ‘Righting Reflex’)

“I’m in charge and I decide what we do.”

*GUIDING*

“Let’s work together.”

Use reflective listening. Name the emotion you hear in their story and in their voice.

Always ask permission: “Mind if I offer some feedback?” | “What do you think?”

Following

“What would you like to talk about today?

C is for Charity

Miller & Rollnick,Motivational Interviewing:Helping People Change

What if they're hesitant to commit?Assess their level of: Importance, Confidence, and

Commitment1. On a scale of 0 to 10, with 0 being "not ____ at all" and 10 being "very highly ___", how ____________ is it to you to make the change?" (Your rating: ____ )

2. Why is it (your rating) and not 0? Please list all the reasons you can think of: ______________.

Barriers to Change: What are some of the internal (inside of you) and external (outside of you) factors that hinder you from making this change in your life?1. Label each "I" for internal or "E" for external: ________________________________________

______________________________________________________________________________

2. Brainstorm small steps you can take in order to begin overcoming each of the barriers _______

_____________________________________________________________________________.

If your barriers were lifted, what would life look like? (Be realistic) ______.

Dr. Henry Cloud & Dr. John Townsend

“Their philosophy is awesome, healthy, rich, solid, and nonjudgmental. Some of the families we work with are really damaged. We must learn how to phrase things with mercy and truth, and truth without charity is brutality. People need to be listened to, acknowledged, and their emotions validated,” - LeeAnn Kinderwater

Senior BOM Trainer, Canada

C is for Charity

H stands for …

H is for Help

There is no shame is asking for help when needed:

Charting Supervisor / Senior Teachers

BOMA-USA (Sue)

Senior teachers in Canada or Australia

Facebook groups: “Billings Instructor Lounge,” “NFP Support: Billings Style,” “BOMA-USA Teacher Network”

Medical (Billings Ovulation Method) Dr. Mary Martin - www.womenshealthok.com (identifying underlying health issues)

Dr. Lek-Lim Chan, Dr. Martha Garza, Dr. John Worden

Darcy Hemstad - www.thefertilitygirl.com (nutrition/wellness)

Relational Counseling | Retrouvialle.org (divorce risk) | Elizabeth Ministry

(miscarriage/addiction)

Spiritual Fr. McCaffrey (NFP Outreach)

Local priest who is faithful to NFP

Summary of TEACH Acronym

T – Time-ManagementE – EducationA – Advertising/AwarenessC – CharityH – Help