114
The Funny Grandma Cookbook 2017 Edition Originally published Christmas 1991

The Funny Grandma Cookbook · Funny Grandma Cookbook Betty Ann (Crutchfield) Wheat has become known by other names over her life, notably as Grammy. Funny Grandma was assigned to

  • Upload
    others

  • View
    2

  • Download
    0

Embed Size (px)

Citation preview

Page 1: The Funny Grandma Cookbook · Funny Grandma Cookbook Betty Ann (Crutchfield) Wheat has become known by other names over her life, notably as Grammy. Funny Grandma was assigned to

The Funny Grandma

Cookbook

2017 Edition

Originally published Christmas 1991

Page 2: The Funny Grandma Cookbook · Funny Grandma Cookbook Betty Ann (Crutchfield) Wheat has become known by other names over her life, notably as Grammy. Funny Grandma was assigned to

Introduction to the 26th Anniversary Edition of the

Funny Grandma Cookbook

Betty Ann (Crutchfield) Wheat has become known by other names

over her life, notably as Grammy. Funny Grandma was assigned to

her by grandson Adam many years ago, as a way to distinguish her

from his other grandmother. Grammy created the original Funny

Grandma Cookbook for Christmas 1991, the year it was decided that

gifts would be handmade; a truly memorable experience for all

involved. The cookbook was a gift to Grammy’s own children, and as

the oldest grandchild was only 6, it was aimed at growing families.

About 10 years ago, Grammy had the idea to reprint the book for the

next generation, the grandchildren. Because she wanted to edit and

add to it, a digital file was created by scanning one of the original

books. What follows is a product of painstaking review and editing

of, and minor additions to the original. A few imperfections remain

and some of the images may seem a bit off, but Grammy’s charm

and wit are retained intact. In addition to the original recipes, a tab

has been included for other, favorite family recipes from Aunt Carol

and others.

Finally, an exciting 21st Century addition: the domain

FunnyGrandma.com has been acquired and a digital copy of the

cookbook has been uploaded to it, so it can be accessed from literally

anywhere.

Humbly,

Uncle Eric, Christmas 2017

Page 3: The Funny Grandma Cookbook · Funny Grandma Cookbook Betty Ann (Crutchfield) Wheat has become known by other names over her life, notably as Grammy. Funny Grandma was assigned to

To My Family – Christmas 1991

With Love,

Special thanks to Frances Center who has spent almost as much

time, as I’ve spent typing these recipes for me.

Page 4: The Funny Grandma Cookbook · Funny Grandma Cookbook Betty Ann (Crutchfield) Wheat has become known by other names over her life, notably as Grammy. Funny Grandma was assigned to

People who have made cooking fun for me are.....

Grandma Randall, whose bread stuffing, ginger cookies and

cranberry sauce we still enjoy.

Pi Crutchfield, whose biscuits and pie crusts were without

rival. She never used a recipe and I never learned her magic,

but everything we did together in the kitchen was always fun.

Miss Finney, my junior high Home Economics teacher, who

really sparked interest in nutrition and who showed me how to

make my first fruitcake.

Paco Crutchfield, who was loyal to my earliest cooking efforts

by always taking second helpings and who loved fruitcake and

homemade jams.

Pi Wheat, who was the only other person I ever knew who

baked fruitcake and made jam. We had many a conversation

concerning this. It was she who turned me against the use of the

dreaded pectin in jam. We also are indebted to her for German

Red Cabbage and Barley Pilaf.

Dad, who took up where Paco left off in being willing to eat

everything I cooked (except my first blueberry pie) and in

loving fruitcake. Also he almost always has said at the end of

every meal “Thank you, that was really good.”

Liba, who was the reason that I ever did learn to make pies and

pie crusts. When she was in seventh grade, she asked if I’d

teach her how to make a pie and I told her I couldn't because I

had no pie crust sticks. “Isn’t there some other way we could do

it?” she asked.

Annie, whose gingerbread boys awed me each Christmas. Her

designs were so involved and intricate that I always thought I

should call in some magazine to photograph them.

Carol, who was the reason I learned how to bake breads and

Page 5: The Funny Grandma Cookbook · Funny Grandma Cookbook Betty Ann (Crutchfield) Wheat has become known by other names over her life, notably as Grammy. Funny Grandma was assigned to

that was fun. Carol took naturally to cooking for crowds,

wanting to triple every recipe she came across. This often came

in very handy.

Katie, (of the green chili fingernails) was a special challenge

and slow to take to kitchen activities. Once she got started

cooking with me, the result was a work of art or crazy and

always entertaining.

Kelly, who inspired “birdie beaks” and who introduced me to

garlic, olive oil, herbs, wine and serious cooking –also truffles

and candied orange peel which I had always wanted to try.

Jim, who is enthusiastic about barbecue beef and round steak

and who has introduced me to such delicacies as catsup on

turkey and whipped cream on waffles.

Eric, who barbecues perfect turkeys on the grill and has made

me think twice before using salt with such abandon.

Chuck, (of modest appetite) who is fun to cook a meatloaf or

roast chicken for. I’ve seen him consume seconds and thirds.

Henry, David, Ben, Adam, Molly, and Jane, who have

rediscovered “birdie beaks” and gingerbread boys and make

their grandma happy.

And all my friends with whom I have shared and traded recipes

over the years.

Page 6: The Funny Grandma Cookbook · Funny Grandma Cookbook Betty Ann (Crutchfield) Wheat has become known by other names over her life, notably as Grammy. Funny Grandma was assigned to

BEVERAGES, APPETIZERS

Caruso Wassail (Joan Caruso)

Dad’s Frozen Daiquiris

Eggnog

Sangria

Lemonade In A Blender

Fruit Punch

Canapes

Antipasto

Deviled Eggs

Gazpacho

Page 7: The Funny Grandma Cookbook · Funny Grandma Cookbook Betty Ann (Crutchfield) Wheat has become known by other names over her life, notably as Grammy. Funny Grandma was assigned to

CARUSO WASSAIL

2 Oranges –stud with 2 dozen whole cloves each and bake on a

tray in 350 degree oven for 25 minutes.

Mix in large pot and heat to a boil:

2 qts. apple cider

½ C. lemon juice

1 C. orange juice

1 #2 can (2½ cups) pineapple juice

1 stick of cinnamon

¼ C. sugar

Set warm oranges into mixture and stir in 1 - 2 cups Applejack

brandy. Serve warm. Delicious

DAD’S FROZEN DAIQUIRIS

6 oz Minute Maid frozen limeade concentrate

½ blender filled with ice

4-5 jiggers of rum

Crack ice cubes into pieces or use crushed ice. Whirl

everything in blender on high speed until it is like snow. Serve

at once.

(Margaritas: add tequila instead of rum)

Page 8: The Funny Grandma Cookbook · Funny Grandma Cookbook Betty Ann (Crutchfield) Wheat has become known by other names over her life, notably as Grammy. Funny Grandma was assigned to

EGGNOG

(approximately 5 quarts)

12 eggs

1 C. sugar

2 qts. half and half

1 qt. whipping cream

2 C. bourbon

1-2 C. brandy

Beat eggs until light colored –about 10 minutes. Add half and

half and beat for 5 minutes. Add whipping cream and beat 2 – 3

minutes longer. (If you do not mind getting another bowl dirty,

whip the whipping cream separately until it begins to thicken

and then add to egg mixture.) Beat sugar in a little at a time

during all this beating.

Finally, gently beat in the bourbon and the brandy and you’re

finished. Pour into (in the sink) large containers, cover tightly

and store in the refrigerator. It is ready to serve, but flavor

improves if chilled for several hours or overnight.

Pour into a pitcher and serve in punch cups with a grating of

nutmeg in each cup.

At Christmas, we gather up every silver baby cup in the house,

polish them to a high sparkle and use these. Plastic disposable

cups work fine too. Cardboard milk cartons are good for storing

eggnog in fridge.

Page 9: The Funny Grandma Cookbook · Funny Grandma Cookbook Betty Ann (Crutchfield) Wheat has become known by other names over her life, notably as Grammy. Funny Grandma was assigned to

SANGRIA

1 small can frozen lemonade

1 small can frozen orange juice

1 lemon sliced thin

1 lime sliced thin

1 large bottle red wine (Hearty Burgundy is fine)

In large pitcher, mix lemonade and orange juice using a total of

2 cans less water than instructions on cans. Add sliced fruit and

wine and chill for several hours if there is time. Serve over ice

cubes.

LEMONADE IN A BLENDER

4 Lemon juice ice cubes

½ C. sugar

2 C. water

Whirl in blender (with lid in place) until sugar dissolves.

Page 10: The Funny Grandma Cookbook · Funny Grandma Cookbook Betty Ann (Crutchfield) Wheat has become known by other names over her life, notably as Grammy. Funny Grandma was assigned to

FRUIT PUNCH

(about 5 quarts)

1 large can pineapple juice

1 large can apricot nectar

1 large can frozen lemonade

2-4 lemonade cans water

4 bananas

1 large bottle Squirt

Mix lemonade with water, add canned juices and chill in

refrigerator. Puree bananas in blender with ½ C. of the juice,

pour into ice cube tray and put in freezer for about one hour (or

more) until slush forms. Add banana cubes to punch and stir to

mix, add Squirt and stir gently.

Serve ASAP. This is great for homeroom parties, crowds of

kids and so good adults like it too. You can make lemonade and

cubes early and chill cans of juice and Squirt before leaving,

toss cubes into lemonade, lug everything in a box to wherever,

mix it right on the spot and serve. Don’t forget the opener! If

you add ice cubes use less water. Cranberry juice can be added

or substituted for apricot nectar.

Page 11: The Funny Grandma Cookbook · Funny Grandma Cookbook Betty Ann (Crutchfield) Wheat has become known by other names over her life, notably as Grammy. Funny Grandma was assigned to

CANAPES

(or Tiny, Cute Sandwiches)

1 loaf thin sliced white bread

1 loaf thin sliced wheat bread

Use cookie cutters (round is the easiest) to cut many pieces from

bread slices, put in Tupperware with tight lid to keep soft. Also,

use whole slices and cut off crusts and then cut into 3 rectangles

or 4 triangles after sandwiches are built.

Creamed cheeses: use 3 separate small bowls, whip until fluffy

and add different ingredients to each bowl. My favorites are

chopped nuts, bacon bits, fresh herbs (parsley, water cress,

tarragon or basil) or finely minced olives. You can also use

plain cream cheese. Deviled ham is good too. Also, minced

egg salad.

Spread fillings on bread rounds. These can be topped with

another round. But the fun begins (especially if Katie is

visiting) when you add various veggies to open faced rounds.

Good toppings are sliced radishes, cucumber slices, sliced

olives, herb sprigs, bacon pieces, asparagus tips, ham or turkey

cut to fit bread shapes. Add lids to some, use all the shapes and

a variety of colors and textures.

Keep in sealed Tupperware until needed. Arrange in a creative

manner on a large platter. These are time consuming but not

difficult at all. For some reason people flock to these. Katie’s

plates look like a work of art but all look pretty and disappear

quickly.

Page 12: The Funny Grandma Cookbook · Funny Grandma Cookbook Betty Ann (Crutchfield) Wheat has become known by other names over her life, notably as Grammy. Funny Grandma was assigned to

ANTIPASTO

Use a large serving tray. Line with red or green leaf lettuce.

Spinach or butter lettuce also looks good. Arrange ever so

attractively an assortment such as:

Radishes Peppers (red, green, yellow)

Black Olives Italian Pickled Peppers

Green Olives Deviled Eggs

Celery filled with Herb cream cheese

Pepperoni –cubes or slices

Cheese cubes (Swiss or Mozzarella is great)

Little Green Onions

Can be made several hours ahead of time. Cover tightly and

refrigerate until time to serve.

DEVILED EGGS

Boil 6 eggs very gently for 15 minutes. Cool eggs in cold water

and peel. Cut each egg in half and put hard yolks into

bowl. Mash egg yolks with fork, add:

1 t. mayo

1 t. mustard

1 t. vinegar

1 green onion finely minced

salt

Stir until well mixed and smooth. Put yolk mixture into each

egg white half. Store tightly covered in refrigerator until ready

to serve. Sprinkle lightly with Paprika. (be sure whites are kept

dry; they can be set on paper towels until served.)

Page 13: The Funny Grandma Cookbook · Funny Grandma Cookbook Betty Ann (Crutchfield) Wheat has become known by other names over her life, notably as Grammy. Funny Grandma was assigned to

GAZPACHO

1 No. 2½ can (3½ cups) tomatoes

1 12 oz. can Snappy Tom

1 sm. clove garlic

2 T. vinegar

1 t. Worcestershire sauce

¼ C. fresh parsley

1 small onion

1 small can green chilies

1 t. salt

¼ t. pepper

Put above ingredients into blender and whirl until smooth.

Finely chop:

1 bunch green onions

2 green peppers

1 bunch celery

1 hydroponic cucumber

Add these diced vegetables to above mixture. Chill for several

hours. Serve in cups as an appetizer. Can be served in soup

bowls with hot rolls for a light meal.

Page 14: The Funny Grandma Cookbook · Funny Grandma Cookbook Betty Ann (Crutchfield) Wheat has become known by other names over her life, notably as Grammy. Funny Grandma was assigned to

SOUPS, SALADS

Albondigas Soup

Senate Bean Soup

Navy Bean Soup

Split Pea Soup

Turkey Soup

Beef Soup

Jello Salad with Pears (Sheila Kuelbs)

Cranberry Jello Salad (Auntie Pos)

Macaroni Salad

Chicken Salad

Sliced Tomatoes with Basil

Cucumber with Dill

Herbs

Vinaigrette Dressing (Liba)

Page 15: The Funny Grandma Cookbook · Funny Grandma Cookbook Betty Ann (Crutchfield) Wheat has become known by other names over her life, notably as Grammy. Funny Grandma was assigned to

ALBONDIGAS SOUP

2 pounds lean ground meat

2 eggs

½ C. flour

1 medium onion diced

1 can (7 oz.) chopped green chilies

2 14½ oz. cans S & W Cut up Tomatoes

1 t. ea. garlic powder, salt and chili powder

1 qt. water

2 cans beef broth or

2 T. beef bouillon with 6 cups water

salt, pepper, garlic powder, oil

Sauté onions in a little oil in a large soup pot. When limp, add

chilies, tomatoes and seasonings, with water and broth and salt

and pepper to taste. As that comes to a steady boil, wet hands

and combine meat, eggs, flour, salt, pepper and garlic. Form

into one-inch balls but do not brown. Drop balls into pot one by

one, keeping the soup at a boil. When all are added, turn heat to

low and simmer, tasting to adjust seasonings. Cook 45 minutes.

Serves 8.

Page 16: The Funny Grandma Cookbook · Funny Grandma Cookbook Betty Ann (Crutchfield) Wheat has become known by other names over her life, notably as Grammy. Funny Grandma was assigned to

SENATE BEAN SOUP

1 pound dried navy beans

1 smoked ham bone with some meat on it or a

sizable ham hock

3 cooked and mashed medium potatoes

1 C. chopped onion

1 C. chopped celery

2 cloves garlic, minced

Water

Wash beans and soak overnight in a large kettle in water to

cover. Next morning, add water to make 5 quarts. Add the ham

bone or hock. Simmer 2 hours or until beans begin to mush.

Add the potatoes, onion, celery and garlic and simmer 1 hour.

Remove ham bone or hock. Cut up ham meat and return to

soup. Season to taste with salt and pepper. Makes about 4½

quarts. I’m usually in a hurry so I add ½ cup Potato Buds

instead of real potatoes.

Page 17: The Funny Grandma Cookbook · Funny Grandma Cookbook Betty Ann (Crutchfield) Wheat has become known by other names over her life, notably as Grammy. Funny Grandma was assigned to

NAVY BEAN SOUP

1 pound dried navy beans

2 ham hocks or 1 ham bone

1 onion, diced

1 large green pepper, diced

1-1½ C. celery, diced

1 garlic clove, minced

4 tomatoes, peeled and cubed or

1 14½ oz. can S & W Cut up Tomatoes

Parsley, minced

Oil

Water

Check over navy beans and remove the one tiny rock they hide

in each package. Wash beans, put into large pot, add six cups

water and soak overnight. In the morning, add the ham hocks or

bone to pot. Add water to cover and bring to a boil. Lower heat

and simmer two to three hours or until meat is very loose on

bones. Remove meat and cool.

In separate skillet, sauté onion, green pepper, celery and garlic

in small amount oil. Cook gently for about five minutes. Add

tomatoes to skillet and one cup liquid from beans. Cover and

simmer for 45 minutes.

Remove ham from bones and cut into small pieces. Put all the

vegetables from skillet plus meat into pot with beans. Add salt,

pepper and parsley the last 15 minutes and cook 15 minutes

more. This is good with cornbread and a fruit salad.

Page 18: The Funny Grandma Cookbook · Funny Grandma Cookbook Betty Ann (Crutchfield) Wheat has become known by other names over her life, notably as Grammy. Funny Grandma was assigned to

SPLIT PEA SOUP

1 pound dried peas

2 qts. water

1 ham bone

1 C. celery, chopped

½ C. onion, chopped

½ C. carrots, diced

1 bay leaf

Salt

Pepper

Wash, sort, and salt and pepper peas. Add water. Soak

overnight. Add ham bone, vegetables and bay leaf and heat to

boiling. Reduce heat, cover and simmer 2½ hours or until

tender. Remove bone, cut off meat and dice. Mash vegetables

or put thru blender or colander to thicken. Return meat to soup.

Season to taste with salt and pepper.

Page 19: The Funny Grandma Cookbook · Funny Grandma Cookbook Betty Ann (Crutchfield) Wheat has become known by other names over her life, notably as Grammy. Funny Grandma was assigned to

TURKEY SOUP

Thanksgiving turkey carcass

Celery (including leaves and the base of the stalk)

2-4 carrots, sliced

2 onions, quartered

1 C. dried barley

Water

After Thanksgiving, cut all usable meat off bones and store in

refrigerator or divide into baggies and send some home with

each guest. Store turkey carcass in refrigerator overnight. In

the morning, put bones into a very large pot and cover with

water. Toss in celery base, several stalks of celery (sliced),

celery leaves, half of the carrots and onions and simmer covered

for about 6 hours.

Put a colander into another large pot and set in the kitchen sink.

Using thick pot holders and being careful to avoid the hot steam,

pour bones and broth into colander. Throw out everything in

the colander. Put the broth back on the stove and bring to a boil

to reduce the liquid.

Put one cup barley with correct amount of water (read package)

in separate pot and simmer, covered, until tender. Add barley

and water to broth along several stalks of celery (sliced) and the

other half of the carrots and onion. Cover and simmer until

veggies are tender.

Cut up at least two cups of turkey into smallish cubes. Add this

to soup and cook just long enough to heat the meat. Add salt

and pepper to taste and serve. A perfect day-after-Thanksgiving

supper with leftover rolls and pie. It may even be better the next

day.

Page 20: The Funny Grandma Cookbook · Funny Grandma Cookbook Betty Ann (Crutchfield) Wheat has become known by other names over her life, notably as Grammy. Funny Grandma was assigned to

BEEF SOUP

2 packages of soup bones (neck bones or rib bones

have the most meat)

1 carrot, sliced

3-4 carrots, grated

2 onions, one quartered, one diced

1 garlic clove

celery (including leaves and the base of the stalk)

1 C. barley

1 14½ oz. can S & W Cut up Tomatoes

2-3 C. green cabbage, thinly sliced

½ C. fresh parsley

Fresh thyme

Water

Put bones into large pot and cover with about two quarts water.

Put sliced carrot, quartered onion, garlic, celery base, several

stalks of celery (sliced) and celery leaves into pot. Cook in the

same manner as for turkey soup eventually pouring broth

through a colander into a large pot. Save all the beef bones and

set aside to cool. Throw out what is left in the colander. Put

strained broth on stove, bring to boil to cook down a bit.

Cook barley as for turkey soup and add to beef broth. Add

tomatoes, diced onion, grated carrots, a cup or two of sliced

celery stalks and cabbage, cover and simmer until veggies are

well cooked.

Cut all meat off bones and add to soup. (Diced, leftover pot

roast can be added if more meat is wanted.) Cook long enough

to heat meat. Add salt and pepper to taste. Add parsley and

several sprigs of fresh thyme the last 10 minutes of cooking if

desired.

Page 21: The Funny Grandma Cookbook · Funny Grandma Cookbook Betty Ann (Crutchfield) Wheat has become known by other names over her life, notably as Grammy. Funny Grandma was assigned to

JELLO SALAD WITH PEARS

1 small package lime jello

1 #2½ can (3½ cups) pears

8 oz. cream cheese

2 T. cream

2 C. whipped topping

Heat 1 cup pear juice (from the canned pears) and dissolve jello

in the juice. Put pears in blender and puree. Whip cream

cheese with cream. Stir jello with pears into cream cheese until

well mixed. Pour into mold. Refrigerate for 1 - 2 hours.

When cool and thick, fold whipped topping into mixture and

chill until set. (I usually leave it overnight.)

Unmold by putting pan in warm water for a moment or two.

Cover with a plate and carefully slide out of mold onto plate.

Immediately put in fridge and chill again to firm up.

This is so good I don’t know why I don’t make it once a week.

Page 22: The Funny Grandma Cookbook · Funny Grandma Cookbook Betty Ann (Crutchfield) Wheat has become known by other names over her life, notably as Grammy. Funny Grandma was assigned to

CRANBERRY SALAD

1 small package raspberry jello

1½ C. boiling water

1 medium orange, peeled and cut in small pieces

½ C. crushed pineapple

¼ - ½ C. chopped nuts

1 can whole cranberry sauce

Mix all ingredients and chill until firm. This fills a 9 x 13 inch

pan or a bundt type pan.

To unmold, set pan in a sink full of warm water for about 10

seconds. Invert on a plate and it should fall out. Chill for

several hours again in fridge.

Page 23: The Funny Grandma Cookbook · Funny Grandma Cookbook Betty Ann (Crutchfield) Wheat has become known by other names over her life, notably as Grammy. Funny Grandma was assigned to

MACARONI SALAD

1 16 oz. package of salad macaroni

2 T. oil (olive or canola)

1 T. apple vinegar

1 C. celery, diced

1 C. onion, diced

½ C. pimento olives, sliced

1 C. mayonnaise or Miracle Whip

¼ C. juice from olives

2 T. milk

Cook macaroni following instructions on package. Drain when

cooked and put into large bowl. Add oil and apple vinegar and

set aside.

Prepare veggies and stir into macaroni. Mix mayo, olive juice

and milk together and add to macaroni mixture while it is still

warm. Cover tightly and chill for 5 hours in fridge. Stir salad

several times while it chills.

Salt and pepper to taste.

Page 24: The Funny Grandma Cookbook · Funny Grandma Cookbook Betty Ann (Crutchfield) Wheat has become known by other names over her life, notably as Grammy. Funny Grandma was assigned to

CHICKEN SALAD

2-3 C. cooked chicken diced

1 C. celery, finely diced

½ C. onion, diced

1 7 oz. can water chestnuts, sliced

1 C. mayonnaise

¼ C. milk

1 T. apple vinegar

Mix all ingredients in large bowl. Season with salt and pepper

to taste.

Option: Add several tablespoons of fresh basil, chives, parsley

or tarragon.

Chill for several hours in refrigerator and serve. Good with

deviled eggs, fresh fruit cup and hot rolls.

Page 25: The Funny Grandma Cookbook · Funny Grandma Cookbook Betty Ann (Crutchfield) Wheat has become known by other names over her life, notably as Grammy. Funny Grandma was assigned to

SLICED TOMATOES WITH BASIL

Fresh tomatoes

Vinegar

Oil

Salt

Cracked pepper

Fresh basil

Put fresh tomatoes into a pot of water that has been brought to a

boil. Remove tomatoes in 20 seconds and peel them.

Slice all the tomatoes into a wide shallow bowl. Sprinkle with a

little vinegar, oil, salt and cracked pepper. Wash and dry fresh

basil and snip a liberal amount over the tomatoes. Cover with

saran wrap and put into refrigerator to chill until serving time.

CUCUMBER WITH DILL

Fresh cucumbers

Lemon juice or vinegar

Salt, pepper

Sour cream

Fresh dill

Slice cucumbers (peeled or not) into a bowl. Sprinkle with

lemon juice or vinegar, salt and pepper. Stir in small amount of

sour cream and a bunch of fresh dill snipped into tiny pieces.

Cover and store in refrigerator until serving time.

Both of these are good when these vegetables are at their best.

Page 26: The Funny Grandma Cookbook · Funny Grandma Cookbook Betty Ann (Crutchfield) Wheat has become known by other names over her life, notably as Grammy. Funny Grandma was assigned to

HERBS

Fresh: Pick, wash and snip into whatever dish you want. If

being used in cooking, add the last 5 -10 minutes of

cooking.

Dried: Pick, wash and blot dry with paper towels. Set on dry

paper towel and cover with another. Put in microwave

on regular temperature and cook (I assume they are

rotating) for 4 minutes or until dry and crisp. Cook and

pull leaves off of stems into a wide dish (they tend to

scatter). When cool, put into small airtight jars. Thyme,

oregano, tarragon are especially good to dry.

Vinegars: Use mild vinegar. Use a large glass bowl. Fill with

freshly washed herbs of choice. Pour vinegar over herbs

and heat in microwave. Cover and let cool for 2 days.

Remove herbs. Pour into smaller bottles into which you

add an attractive fresh sprig or branch of herb that has

flavored the vinegar. Screw lid on tightly. Ready to use

for salads.

Page 27: The Funny Grandma Cookbook · Funny Grandma Cookbook Betty Ann (Crutchfield) Wheat has become known by other names over her life, notably as Grammy. Funny Grandma was assigned to

HERBS

Wreaths: Sometimes your herbs can just get away from you and

need to be pruned. Don’t toss out thyme or oregano. It

makes a great small wreath. Put it in your kitchen

window and use as needed. Or just let it hang there and

be cute.

Bouquets: Herbs are good in all kinds of bouquets. Even if you

have only a few flowers, can make a nice sized

arrangement. Scented geraniums and mint are nice,

especially with several roses. Some herbs wilt for about

an hour. Try putting your bouquet in the icebox (Pi

Crutchie style) to revive them more quickly. Dill is

pretty all by itself. Just experiment.

Butters: Stir into soft butter: minced chives, tarragon, parsley,

thyme or rosemary. Good on crackers, meat sandwiches

or when roasting or grilling.

Page 28: The Funny Grandma Cookbook · Funny Grandma Cookbook Betty Ann (Crutchfield) Wheat has become known by other names over her life, notably as Grammy. Funny Grandma was assigned to

VINAIGRETTE DRESSING

¾ C. olive oil

5 T. wine vinegar

1 clove garlic, minced

1 t. dry mustard

1 T. fresh tarragon leaves

Put into glass jar with tight lid and shake well to mix.

Page 29: The Funny Grandma Cookbook · Funny Grandma Cookbook Betty Ann (Crutchfield) Wheat has become known by other names over her life, notably as Grammy. Funny Grandma was assigned to

MAIN DISHES

Jim’s Green Chili

Taco Casserole

Enchilada Casserole

Meat Loaf

Meatballs in Sour Cream Sauce

Pot Roast with Dry Onion Soup

Stayabed Stew

Round Steak

Lamb Stew (Pi Crutchfield)

Lamb Shanks (Pi Wheat)

Pork Chop Casserole and Peppers

Pork Chops with Apples and Peppers

Barbecue Sauce (Pi Wheat)

Chicken Casserole

Shrimp and Rice Casserole

Clam Casserole

Holiday Strata

Page 30: The Funny Grandma Cookbook · Funny Grandma Cookbook Betty Ann (Crutchfield) Wheat has become known by other names over her life, notably as Grammy. Funny Grandma was assigned to

TOP TEN MEALS

During Growing Up Years

Requirements:

1. Loved by all 5 kids

2. Easy or quick or both

3. Cheap

4. Nutritious

5. Liked by Dad

1. Clam Casserole, Dad’s favorite and so it’s #1

2. Taco Casserole

3. Tacos, chicken or beef

4. Spaghetti or Lasagna

5. Jim’s Green Chili

6. Pork Chops with Potatoes

7. Baked Chicken with Mushroom Soup

8. Pot Roast with Dry Onion Soup

9. Meatloaf (if onions did not show)

10. Shrimp and Rice Casserole (the most often requested

birthday meal)

Page 31: The Funny Grandma Cookbook · Funny Grandma Cookbook Betty Ann (Crutchfield) Wheat has become known by other names over her life, notably as Grammy. Funny Grandma was assigned to

JIM'S GREEN CHILI

1 chuck roast, 2 to 3 pounds

1 pork roast, 2 to 3 pounds

3 T. flour

3 cloves garlic, diced

3 large onions, diced

2 6 oz. cans green chilies

2 8 oz. cans (jars) Ortega Taco Sauce

2 8 oz. cans Ortega Green Chili Salsa

2 C. water

2 T. lemon juice

Cumin, salt, pepper and oregano

Cube meat and discard fat and gristle. Flour meat and then

brown slowly and thoroughly with garlic, onions and seasonings

to taste. Do this in a heavy pot to prevent scorching. Add

chilies, sauce, salsa, water and lemon juice. The lemon juice is

indispensable.

Simmer at least 2 hours before serving. If you feel it needs

thickened, add a little corn meal. Makes about 20 green chili

burros. We use flour tortillas. The chili freezes perfectly.

Page 32: The Funny Grandma Cookbook · Funny Grandma Cookbook Betty Ann (Crutchfield) Wheat has become known by other names over her life, notably as Grammy. Funny Grandma was assigned to

TACO CASSEROLE

1 pound, lean ground meat

1 14 oz. can Ranch Style beans

1 8 oz. can tomato sauce or salsa

1 4 oz. can chopped green chilies

1 medium bag Fritos

2-3 C. Longhorn cheese, grated

3-4 tomatoes, diced

½ head iceberg lettuce, thinly sliced

Salt

Sprinkle salt into skillet and add ground meat to brown. Stir

with a fork until well browned and crumbled into fine bits. Add

beans, tomato sauce and green chilies. Mix well and for as long

as it takes to fix the rest of this meal.

Poke a hole in Frito bag to let air out, and crush chips while they

are inside bag. Grate cheese onto a plate. Put tomatoes into a

bowl. Put lettuce into another bowl. Set out salsa.

Now put together this casserole using a 2 quart bowl: Put one

third chips in bottom, one half very hot meat mixture next and

then add half cheese. Repeat same layers again and top with

remaining chips. Cover bowl with lid or aluminum foil and

wait for 5 minutes and it is ready. Put serving onto dinner plate

and cover with lettuce, and salsa.

Leftovers heated in the oven (covered) are just as good but

different. The original is crunchy (like tacos) and the oven

heated version is like enchiladas because chips will be soft.

Page 33: The Funny Grandma Cookbook · Funny Grandma Cookbook Betty Ann (Crutchfield) Wheat has become known by other names over her life, notably as Grammy. Funny Grandma was assigned to

ENCHILADA CASSEROLE

12 corn tortillas, cut in half

1 onion, finely diced

1 8 oz. can salsa

1 8 oz. can tomato sauce

1 4½ oz. can chopped green chilies

2-3 C. longhorn cheese, grated

Salt, pepper, chili powder

1. Boil water in a medium sauce pan. Quickly dip each

tortilla into boiling water and set on paper towels to

drain.

2. Dice onion and set aside.

3. Make a sauce by heating salsa, tomato sauce and green

chilies plus one can water in a sauce pan. Simmer for 5 -

10 minutes. Season with chili powder, salt and pepper if

desired.

4. Grate the cheese and set aside.

To assemble the casserole: put small amount of the sauce in a

1½ quart round casserole. Layer several tortilla pieces on the

sauce, add more sauce and sprinkle with onion and cheese.

Repeat these layers and finish with cheese. Put into 350 degree

oven and bake for 30 minutes or until it bubbles and cheese

melts. Remove from oven and let sit for about 15 minutes

before serving. Good with bean tostados, tacos or tamales.

Add diced cooked chicken to the layers for a main dish.

This can be put together in the morning in a crock pot. Layer it

all in, turn pot on and ignore it for about 6 hours or until it looks

done.

Page 34: The Funny Grandma Cookbook · Funny Grandma Cookbook Betty Ann (Crutchfield) Wheat has become known by other names over her life, notably as Grammy. Funny Grandma was assigned to

MEAT LOAF

(really quick)

2 pounds ground meat, the leanest

1 C. bread crumbs –sour dough is great

1 pkg. dry onion soup mix

1 8 oz. can tomato sauce (or ½ C. catsup plus ½ C.

water)

Mix bread crumbs, soup mix and tomato sauce together in a

bowl. Break up ground meat into bowl and mix all ingredients

up with a fork. Pack into a loaf pan. Bake in oven at 350

degrees for 1½ hours.

If you want this done sooner, put into muffin pans, set on cookie

sheet (to avoid drips) and bake at 375 degrees for 25 minute or

400 degrees for 20 minutes.

Page 35: The Funny Grandma Cookbook · Funny Grandma Cookbook Betty Ann (Crutchfield) Wheat has become known by other names over her life, notably as Grammy. Funny Grandma was assigned to

MEATBALLS IN SOUR CREAM SAUCE

1 pound lean ground beef

1 C. soft bread crumbs

1 egg

¼ C. milk

1 T. onion, minced

1 t. steak sauce

1 t. lemon rind, grated

½ t. garlic salt

¼ t. pepper

3 T. butter

1 green pepper, finely chopped

3 T. flour

1 19 oz. can cut up tomatoes

1 C. sour cream

½ t. seasoned salt

Mix first nine ingredients (beef through pepper). Shape into 24

balls and brown in 2 T. of the butter in a large skillet (or set on

cookie sheet with sides and bake in 375 degree oven for 20

minutes). Remove meatballs.

Add remaining 1 T. of butter to drippings in skillet. Add green

pepper and cook 2 – 3 minutes. Blend in flour. Stir in

remaining ingredients. Put meatballs back into skillet. Bring to

boil and simmer on low for 25 minutes, stirring occasionally.

Makes 4 – 6 servings. These have a wonderful flavor.

These can be cooked in a crock pot on low for 6 – 8 hours.

Sometimes I don’t even sauté anything. Add the sour cream at

the last and cook another 30 minutes on medium.

Page 36: The Funny Grandma Cookbook · Funny Grandma Cookbook Betty Ann (Crutchfield) Wheat has become known by other names over her life, notably as Grammy. Funny Grandma was assigned to

POT ROAST WITH DRY ONION SOUP MIX

2½ -3½ pounds pot roast

1-2 packages onion soup mix

Trim fat from pot roast. Open the soup mix and stir it in the

package to mix well. Sprinkle about 1/3 of the soup mix onto a

very large piece of aluminum foil. Place the meat in the center

of the foil. Sprinkle the rest of the soup mix on top of the meat.

Fold the foil tightly around the meat being careful to seal it in

the center and both ends so that it will not leak.

Put into a baking pan and bake it at 300 degrees for 3 hours or

200 degrees for 9 hours; it really doesn’t matter. This is so

tender.

Page 37: The Funny Grandma Cookbook · Funny Grandma Cookbook Betty Ann (Crutchfield) Wheat has become known by other names over her life, notably as Grammy. Funny Grandma was assigned to

ROUND STEAK

Buy a whole or half slice of round steak and ask the

butcher to bone it and run it through his tenderizer two

times

Oil

Flour

Salt, pepper

1 14½ oz. can S & W Cut up Tomatoes

1 onion, diced

Celery, sliced

Carrot, sliced

New potatoes, halved

Trim fat from meat and cut into serving sized pieces. Heat oil in

electric skillet. Dip meat on both sides into flour, salt and

pepper. Brown both sides slowly in skillet, turning when

golden brown. Add tomatoes, onion, celery, carrot and

potatoes.

Simmer, covered, for 1 - 2 hours. Check to make sure liquid

does not evaporate. Liquid should be much reduced and

thickened. Meat should be very tender. Meat seems to be tough

if I cook it too fast or too slow. A simmer is what does the job

right.

Page 38: The Funny Grandma Cookbook · Funny Grandma Cookbook Betty Ann (Crutchfield) Wheat has become known by other names over her life, notably as Grammy. Funny Grandma was assigned to

STAYABED STEW

1-2 pounds beef stew meat

1 C. carrots, sliced

2 onions, chopped (or boiling onions)

2 raw potatoes, sliced

1 t. salt

¼ t. pepper

1 can soup and ½ can water

Any herbs you want

Mix these things up in a casserole dish that has a tight lid.

Put the lid on and put in a 275 degree oven. Go do something

else for 5 hours. It will cook happily all by itself and be done in

5 hours.

Page 39: The Funny Grandma Cookbook · Funny Grandma Cookbook Betty Ann (Crutchfield) Wheat has become known by other names over her life, notably as Grammy. Funny Grandma was assigned to

LAMB STEW

It’s not always easy to find cubed lamb meat, but it does make a

really tender, delicious stew.

1-1½ pounds lamb, cubed

1-2 onions, chopped

1 package raw, pealed baby carrots

1 can chicken broth

½ small lemon, juice only

1 package frozen green peas

½ C. fresh parsley, minced

Oil

Salt, pepper

Flour

In an electric skillet, brown floured and seasoned cubes of lamb

in several tablespoons of oil. When nicely browned, add

onions, stir into meat and flour and cook until onions are clear.

Add carrots, one chicken broth and lemon juice. Simmer,

covered, for about one hour, stirring several times. Add water

or more broth if necessary. Add peas and parsley, cook for

another 15 minutes and serve. Good with rice or noodles and

rolls.

Page 40: The Funny Grandma Cookbook · Funny Grandma Cookbook Betty Ann (Crutchfield) Wheat has become known by other names over her life, notably as Grammy. Funny Grandma was assigned to

LAMB SHANKS

Lamb shanks

1 onion, diced

1 can Franco American Beef gravy (yes,

That’s what it needs!)

1-2 t. curry powder

Flour

Butter

Brown floured lamb shanks in butter in electric skillet. When

browned on all sides, add onion, gravy and curry powder.

Cover and simmer on low for 3 – 4 hours until meat is tender

and loose on bones. Add some flour and water to thicken gravy

if necessary. Serve with Barley Pilaf.

Page 41: The Funny Grandma Cookbook · Funny Grandma Cookbook Betty Ann (Crutchfield) Wheat has become known by other names over her life, notably as Grammy. Funny Grandma was assigned to

PORK CHOPS WITH APPLES & PEPPERS

6 pork chops

¼ c. flour

½ t. garlic salt

1 t. paprika

1 green pepper, sliced into 6 rings

3 apples, cored and halved

½ C. water

1 T. brown sugar

2 T. Worcestershire sauce

Oil

Put chops, flour, salt and paprika in bag and shake. Brown

chops slowly in 2 T. oil on both sides. Set one green pepper

ring and one apple half on each chop.

Mix water, brown sugar and Worcestershire sauce. Add to

meat. Cook covered and slowly for 40 minutes. Don't boil it.

Just simmer gently. Very tender and tasty.

Page 42: The Funny Grandma Cookbook · Funny Grandma Cookbook Betty Ann (Crutchfield) Wheat has become known by other names over her life, notably as Grammy. Funny Grandma was assigned to

PORK CHOP CASSEROLE

6 lean pork chops

6 potatoes

1 T. Lawrys Seasoned Salt

2 T. oil

Flour

Flour pork chops. Brown slowly on both sides in oil in heated

electric skillet. While chops brown, peel potatoes, slice thin and

layer into a 9 X 13 inch pan. Sprinkle potatoes with seasoned

salt. Place browned pork chops on top of potatoes in a single

layer.

Pour 1 cup hot water into skillet and stir to scrape loose

browned bits left in pan. Pour mixture over chops and potatoes.

Cover tightly with foil and bake in 375 degree oven for 45

minutes. Remove foil and bake for another 15 minutes.

Page 43: The Funny Grandma Cookbook · Funny Grandma Cookbook Betty Ann (Crutchfield) Wheat has become known by other names over her life, notably as Grammy. Funny Grandma was assigned to

BARBEQUE SAUCE

1 T. butter

¼ C. onion, chopped

½ t. pepper

½ t. sugar

1 t. dry mustard

1 t. paprika

4 t. Worcestershire sauce

1 t. Tabasco sauce

1 C. catsup

½ C. water

Melt butter in skillet, cook onion until clear. Add other

ingredients, bring to a boil and simmer for 5 minutes. Good

baked over spare ribs or for barbecue beef sandwiches. Simple

and amazingly good!

Page 44: The Funny Grandma Cookbook · Funny Grandma Cookbook Betty Ann (Crutchfield) Wheat has become known by other names over her life, notably as Grammy. Funny Grandma was assigned to

CHICKEN A LA KING

½ C. mushrooms, chopped

½ C. green pepper, chopped

¼ C. onions, chopped

4 T. butter, oil or margarine

4 T. flour

2½ C. chicken broth (or broth and milk)

1 2 oz. jar pimentos (optional)

2 egg yolks

2 C. cooked chicken, diced

Salt, pepper

Melt butter in skillet and cook mushrooms, peppers and onions

for about 5 minutes. Add flour and stir until smooth. Add broth

slowly and stir until mixture bubbles. Add small amount of

broth mixture to 2 beaten egg yolks and stir briskly. Add egg

mixture to skillet and stir until thick. Add pimentos and chicken

and cook on low until everything is hot. Salt and pepper to

taste. Serve over rice or toast.

This can be put into a casserole, topped with biscuits and baked

at 450 degrees for approximately 20 minutes or until golden

brown. This has a very good flavor.

Page 45: The Funny Grandma Cookbook · Funny Grandma Cookbook Betty Ann (Crutchfield) Wheat has become known by other names over her life, notably as Grammy. Funny Grandma was assigned to

CHICKEN CASSEROLE

1 chicken, cut up or 2 packages of breasts,

drumsticks and thighs

1 can cream of mushroom soup

Put chicken pieces into a 9 X 13 inch casserole in a single layer.

Spread undiluted soup over all the pieces of chicken. Cover

with foil and bake at 350 degrees for one hour. Remove foil and

cook until top looks lightly browned. This is so easy and kids

love it.

Page 46: The Funny Grandma Cookbook · Funny Grandma Cookbook Betty Ann (Crutchfield) Wheat has become known by other names over her life, notably as Grammy. Funny Grandma was assigned to

SHRIMP AND RICE CASSEROLE

1 C. uncooked, regular rice

2 t. curry powder

1 t. mustard seeds

½ C. butter or margarine

2 pounds raw shrimp, shelled and deveined

½ t. salt

1 C. dry white wine

2 T. lemon juice

Water

Heat curry powder and seeds in butter in large skillet for 2 - 3

minutes. Stir in shrimps and sauté for 5 minutes. Remove

shrimps with slotted spoon and set aside. Add rice to drippings,

heat gently, stirring constantly until golden. Add salt, wine and

lemon juice and water to make 2 cups liquid.

Turn heat to low, cover and cook approximately 25 minutes

until rice is done and moisture is almost gone. Add shrimps and

stir into rice, cover and heat on low for 5 - 10 minutes until

shrimps are hot. This is quick and easy and good enough for

company. Ready to serve in less than an hour. Serves 4 -6.

For a larger group, add 1 more cup of rice. You don’t have to

increase the amount of shrimp.

Page 47: The Funny Grandma Cookbook · Funny Grandma Cookbook Betty Ann (Crutchfield) Wheat has become known by other names over her life, notably as Grammy. Funny Grandma was assigned to

CLAM CASSEROLE

1 16 oz. package macaroni (small shells)

1-2 cans minced clams

1 8 – 12 oz. can mushrooms, sliced or pieces

½ C. fresh chives or green onions, sliced thinly

¼ C. fresh parsley, chopped

1 cube butter or margarine

Salt and pepper to taste

Boil macaroni per directions, drain in colander and rinse in

warm water. While macaroni is cooking, melt butter in pan,

sauté chives or onions gently. Add drained mushrooms and

saute for a few more minutes. Add clams with their juice and

simmer until hot. Add salt, pepper and parsley and cook about 3

or minutes until very hot. Put macaroni into clam mixture and

mix well. Serve immediately. Good with fresh fruit cup and

rolls.

Page 48: The Funny Grandma Cookbook · Funny Grandma Cookbook Betty Ann (Crutchfield) Wheat has become known by other names over her life, notably as Grammy. Funny Grandma was assigned to

HOLIDAY STRATA

10 slices day-old white bread, quartered

10 oz. baked ham, chopped fine (about 2 cups)

6 oz. sharp Cheddar cheese, grated (1½ cups)

1C. finely diced red and/or green bell peppers

1C. sliced scallions or green onions

8 large eggs

3 C. milk

1t. dry mustard

1t.ea. salt, pepper and paprika (or to taste)

Arrange bread in overlapping rows in the bottom of a buttered

3 quart oblong baking dish. Sprinkle with ham, cheese, peppers

and scallions. Beat eggs in a large bowl. Beat in milk, mustard,

pepper and paprika. Pour egg mixture over ingredients in baking

dish. Cover and refrigerate at least 1 hour or overnight.

Heat oven to 350 degrees. Bake 50 to 60 minutes, or until egg

mixture is set and a knife inserted in the center comes out clean.

Remove from oven and let stand 5 to 10 minutes before serving.

Makes 12 to 16 servings. Good for brunch.

Page 49: The Funny Grandma Cookbook · Funny Grandma Cookbook Betty Ann (Crutchfield) Wheat has become known by other names over her life, notably as Grammy. Funny Grandma was assigned to

VEGETABLES AND FRUITS

German Red Cabbage (Pi Wheat)

Broccoli and Cheese Casserole (Carol Gary)

Two Corn Casserole

Roasted Vegetables

Scalloped Tomatoes (Pi Crutchfield)

Salsa

Squash, Bacon, Cheese Casserole (Aunt Gloria)

Barley Pilaf (Pi Wheat)

Applesauce (Pi Crutchfield)

Fourth of July Salad

Cranberry Sauce (Grandma Randall)

Fresh Fruit Jam

Page 50: The Funny Grandma Cookbook · Funny Grandma Cookbook Betty Ann (Crutchfield) Wheat has become known by other names over her life, notably as Grammy. Funny Grandma was assigned to

GERMAN RED CABBAGE

1 small head red cabbage

½ C. water

½ C. vinegar

2 T. bacon grease

¼ C. Port wine

Slice cabbage thinly and chop a bit. Put first four ingredients in

a large pot and cook for 3 hours. Add port wine the last 20

minutes.

This can be put in crock pot and cooked all day - on high for an

hour or two and then on low.

Page 51: The Funny Grandma Cookbook · Funny Grandma Cookbook Betty Ann (Crutchfield) Wheat has become known by other names over her life, notably as Grammy. Funny Grandma was assigned to

BROCCOLI AND CHEDDER CHEESE CASSEROLE

1 16 oz. pkg. frozen cut-up broccoli

1 C. mayonnaise

2 eggs, well beaten

2 C. cheddar cheese, grated

1 onion, finely diced

1 C. cracker crumbs

1 can cream of mushroom soup

Mix all ingredients in large bowl. Pour into a buttered 9” X 13”

pan. Bake at 350 degrees for 25-30 minutes or until golden

brown. Wonderful dish.

Page 52: The Funny Grandma Cookbook · Funny Grandma Cookbook Betty Ann (Crutchfield) Wheat has become known by other names over her life, notably as Grammy. Funny Grandma was assigned to

TWO CORN CASSEROLE

1 cube butter, melted

1 C. green bell pepper, chopped

½ C. chopped onion

1 17oz. can cream style corn

1 17oz. can whole kernel corn, drained

1 C. yellow corn meal

3 eggs, well beaten

1 C. milk

1 C. sharp cheddar cheese, shredded

Salt and pepper to taste

Sauté chopped vegetables with butter in small skillet. In

large bowl, combine corn, corn meal, eggs and milk.

Stir in vegetable mixture. Pour into buttered casserole.

Sprinkle the shredded cheese over top.

Cook at 350 degrees for 55-65 minutes or until a knife

put into center comes out clean.

Page 53: The Funny Grandma Cookbook · Funny Grandma Cookbook Betty Ann (Crutchfield) Wheat has become known by other names over her life, notably as Grammy. Funny Grandma was assigned to

ROASTED VEGETABLES

1-3 T. olive oil

1-3 T. fresh rosemary, stripped off stem & chopped

Salt and Pepper to taste

Many different vegetables can be roasted. They can be mixed

or be all of one kind. It is best to roast vegetables of

approximately the same needs for cooking time. Or you can add

more tender types the last 20-30 minutes.

Good combinations are potatoes, winter squash, celery root,

carrots, beets, celery and those odd varieties that many in our

family are fond of - Brussels sprouts, rutabagas, celery root, and

even turnips.

Peel veggies, if needed, and cut into good sized chunks. Put in a

cookie tray or large pan (with sides). Pour olive oil over all,

sprinkle with chopped rosemary, salt and pepper and toss until

all vegetables are coated. I have given up using a spoon and just

dive in with hands - does a better job. Put tray (or pan) into a

preheated 400-degree oven for 45 minutes - to 1 hour. Check

them twice and turn them with a pancake turner. Check for

doneness with a paring knife. Brown and crisp is good.

Easiest and, I think, best are potatoes, washed, not peeled and

cut in halves or quarters. My favorites are new or sweet

potatoes, and also butternut squash. I buy it already cubed at

Trader Joe’s. These all tend to cook more quickly.

Other herbs and seasonings can be used. Brussels sprouts are

good with a bit of vinegar mixed in the olive oil. Chopped

parsley tossed over the finished veggies is nice. I have never

used butter, because I’m told that it will burn.

Page 54: The Funny Grandma Cookbook · Funny Grandma Cookbook Betty Ann (Crutchfield) Wheat has become known by other names over her life, notably as Grammy. Funny Grandma was assigned to

SCALLOPED TOMATOES

2 cans S&W cut up tomatoes, drain slightly

1-2 C. crushed Ritz crackers

2-3 T. butter or margarine

Melt butter in skillet and toast cracker crumbs, stirring

frequently. Put 1 can tomatoes in a 1½ quart casserole, salt and

pepper and put ½ of the crumbs over the tomatoes. Add second

can of tomatoes, salt and pepper and top with rest of the crumbs.

Dot with butter and put uncovered into 350-degree oven for 30

minutes or until tomatoes bubble and crackers look crispy.

Very good with pork roast.

Page 55: The Funny Grandma Cookbook · Funny Grandma Cookbook Betty Ann (Crutchfield) Wheat has become known by other names over her life, notably as Grammy. Funny Grandma was assigned to

SALSA

1 15 oz. can S&W cut up tomatoes (as is or

whirled in blender

1 small can chopped green chilies

1/3 C. onion, finely diced

¼ C. fresh cilantro

Salt, pepper, tabasco, minced garlic to taste

Mix all ingredients and store in glass jar with tight lid. Keeps

for 1 – 2 weeks. Good on everything except ice cream.

Page 56: The Funny Grandma Cookbook · Funny Grandma Cookbook Betty Ann (Crutchfield) Wheat has become known by other names over her life, notably as Grammy. Funny Grandma was assigned to

SQUASH CASSEROLE

6-8 slices bacon

6-8 summer squash, yellow crookneck or scalloped

or both

1 onion, diced

Fresh, minced garlic

Salt and pepper

1-2 C. cheddar cheese, grated

Fry bacon until well done, drain, reserve grease and set aside.

Wash and dry squash. Sauté squash in small amount of bacon

grease. Add garlic, salt, pepper and small amount of water.

Cover and steam until very tender. Remove lid and stir until

liquid evaporates. Crumble bacon over squash. Sprinkle cheese

over all. Put lid on 1 – 2 minutes until cheese melts. Serve

immediately.

Page 57: The Funny Grandma Cookbook · Funny Grandma Cookbook Betty Ann (Crutchfield) Wheat has become known by other names over her life, notably as Grammy. Funny Grandma was assigned to

BARLEY PILAF

2 medium onions

1 15 oz. can mushrooms, drained

¼ pound butter

1¾ C. barley

4-6 C. chicken broth

½ t. salt

Heat butter in electric skillet. Cook onions until clear. Add

mushrooms and cook a few minutes longer. Add barley and

cook until light brown. Stir often while barley browns. Add

broth, cover and simmer until barley is tender. If mixture starts

to get dry, add more broth. After broth is added, this can be

baked in the oven in a covered casserole at 350 degrees for 1 1/2

hours, instead of a skillet.

Note: using fresh mushrooms will result in a gray color.

Page 58: The Funny Grandma Cookbook · Funny Grandma Cookbook Betty Ann (Crutchfield) Wheat has become known by other names over her life, notably as Grammy. Funny Grandma was assigned to

APPLESAUCE

6 Golden Delicious apples (the best variety)

½-1 C. Sugar

Lemon juice

½ t. each, cinnamon and nutmeg

Water

Peel apples, cut into quarters and remove seeds. Put apples into

large pot and add about 1 cup water and a squeeze of lemon

juice. Cover and cook gently about 20 minutes, or until tender.

Remove from heat and mash apples slightly. Add ½ - 1 cup

sugar and maybe a ½ tsp. of cinnamon and nutmeg. Stir to

blend. Pour into a bowl and cool. Taste and adjust seasonings.

Store covered in fridge. Easy and very delicious.

Page 59: The Funny Grandma Cookbook · Funny Grandma Cookbook Betty Ann (Crutchfield) Wheat has become known by other names over her life, notably as Grammy. Funny Grandma was assigned to

FOURTH OF JULY FRUIT SALAD

Fresh strawberries and/or fresh raspberries

Fresh pineapple and/or bananas

Fresh blueberries

Sugar

Whipped cream or Cool Whip

Wash all fruit except bananas. Put all berries in a glass serving

bowl, sprinkle with a little sugar and stir gently. Put in

refrigerator for about 20 minutes. Add bananas and pineapple

just before serving and mix gently. The red, white and blue

colors are perfect. Serve with whipped cream or Cool Whip on

the side for added cholesterol.

Grammy with Adam and Molly

Page 60: The Funny Grandma Cookbook · Funny Grandma Cookbook Betty Ann (Crutchfield) Wheat has become known by other names over her life, notably as Grammy. Funny Grandma was assigned to

CRANBERRY SAUCE

1 bag fresh cranberries

1 C. sugar

1 C. water

Pick over cranberries and discard any unfortunate ones. Wash

and put into a pot with the sugar and water. Cook over medium

heat and stir frequently until mixture boils. Lower heat and boil

gently for about 10 minutes or until skins pop. Remove from

heat, cool slightly and pour into clean, hot, glass jars. When

cool, put lid on jar and store in refrigerator.

Page 61: The Funny Grandma Cookbook · Funny Grandma Cookbook Betty Ann (Crutchfield) Wheat has become known by other names over her life, notably as Grammy. Funny Grandma was assigned to

JAM

We make apricot, peach, strawberry or blueberry when the fruit

is in season and on sale. You will also need sugar, lemons,

paraffin, jars, giant spoon and tongs.

1. Wash fruit. Blueberries need no other preparation.

Strawberries need to be cut in half. Peaches need to be

dipped into boiling water for 30 seconds and skins

slipped off. Seeds need to be removed from apricots and

peaches before they are cut up. Fruit should be ripe but

not overripe. A little under ripe fruit is good as it

contains more pectin which will make jam thick.

2. Wash jars in hot soapy water and rinse carefully. Pour

boiling water into each one (or dip into a large pot of

boiling water) and drain on clean teatowels. If you have

a good dishwasher, you can skip this process and run the

jars through the wash and dry cycle. Use them hot right

out of the washer.

3. Measure fruit carefully. Do not make in batches of more

than 8 cups. Put prepared fruit into large pot and set on

stove over a medium heat. Mash fruit with a potato

masher. When juice begins to form in a few minutes,

add ½ - 1 cup sugar for every cup of fruit measured.

Add juice of about half a lemon and stir until sugar

melts. Bring to a boil stirring frequently. Watch the

mixture making sure it does not foam up and boil over.

If it starts to do this, stir or remove from heat until it

calms down. You want it to boil gently during this stage

but not over the sides of the pot so you need to adjust the

heat. Stir while this is going on to make sure the fruit is

not sticking (burning will be next).

Page 62: The Funny Grandma Cookbook · Funny Grandma Cookbook Betty Ann (Crutchfield) Wheat has become known by other names over her life, notably as Grammy. Funny Grandma was assigned to

JAM

(continued)

4. I’m guessing, but in about 20 minutes the fruit should

begin to look clear and thicker. Test some by putting a

spoonful in a cold dish (which you’ve been keeping in

the icebox). Chill the test jam for a few minutes. If it

looks like you want your jam to look, it’s ready to ladle

into the jars. Proceed with the greatest of care. Boiling

sugar can cause extra bad burns. Fill each jar about ½

inch from the top. Leave room to pour melted paraffin

over to seal the jar. When cool, gently wash any spilled

jam off of the outside of the jars and put in a row on

your kitchen counter to admire. The colors are really

beautiful.

5. This is a nice job for two people especially if children

are around. One needs to tend the boiling hot caldron

constantly. Kids should not be in the kitchen while jam

is being poured. Paraffin melting is a worry also! I

usually did this at night or when everyone was at school.

I store the jam in the refrigerator but it can be kept on a

cupboard shelf.

Page 63: The Funny Grandma Cookbook · Funny Grandma Cookbook Betty Ann (Crutchfield) Wheat has become known by other names over her life, notably as Grammy. Funny Grandma was assigned to

DESSERTS

Fruit Crisp (Janet Campbell)

Fresh Apple Cake (Ginger Allingham)

Carrot Cake (Pat Fridena)

Sherry Cake (Ginger Allingham)

Pumpkin Sheet cake (Bernadette Galvin)

Chocolate Cookie Sheet Cake (Pat Fridena)

Whipped Cream Pie

Pumpkin Pie (Pi Crutchfield)

Mincemeat

Pie Crust (Pi Crutchfield)

Pumpkin Bread

Orange Poppy Seed Cake (Ann)

Plum Pudding (Margaret Barr)

Holiday Cranberry Bread (Joanne Pernu)

Scotch Whiskey Cake (Ginger Allingham)

Orange Rum Cake

Lizzies (Mary Higgins)

Thumbprint Cookies

Soft Ginger Cookies (Grandma Randall)

Gingerbread Boys (Ginger Allingham)

Bourbon Balls (Mary Higgins)

Mice (Margaret Lea)

Page 64: The Funny Grandma Cookbook · Funny Grandma Cookbook Betty Ann (Crutchfield) Wheat has become known by other names over her life, notably as Grammy. Funny Grandma was assigned to

DESSERTS (continued)

Austrian Crescents

Shortbread Cookies

Lemon Bars

Sugar Cookies (Margaret Lea)

Cocoa Peanut Logs

Praline Bars

Apricot Bars

Molasses Crinkles

Chocolate Cheese Drop Cookies

Danish Sugar Cookies

Cornmeal Sugar Cookies (Carol)

Chocolate Shortbread (Carol)

Brownies (Janet Campbell)

Date Cooky Pillows

Fudge (Auntie Pos)

Candid Orange Peel

Nut Goodie Bars (Joanne Pernu)

Truffles

Honey – Butter Sauce (Aunt Tucky)

Hot Fudge Sauce (Pi Crutchfield)

Page 65: The Funny Grandma Cookbook · Funny Grandma Cookbook Betty Ann (Crutchfield) Wheat has become known by other names over her life, notably as Grammy. Funny Grandma was assigned to

FRUIT CRISP

1 C. Bisquick

½ C. sugar

½ t. cinnamon

¼ C. margarine, melted

1 15 oz. can of pie fruit

Spread fruit in square pan. Mix Bisquick, sugar, cinnamon in

bowl and pour melted margarine over it. Toss quickly and

crumble over fruit. Bake 25 minutes at 400 degrees. Serve with

ice cream. Tastes great, takes almost no time to prepare and

good enough for company. Ingredients are easy to have on

hand.

Page 66: The Funny Grandma Cookbook · Funny Grandma Cookbook Betty Ann (Crutchfield) Wheat has become known by other names over her life, notably as Grammy. Funny Grandma was assigned to

FRESH APPLE CAKE

1¼ C. oil

2 C. sugar

¼ C. milk

2 eggs, well beaten

3 C. apples, chopped

3 C. flour

1 t. baking soda

1-2 t. cinnamon

2 t. vanilla

1 C. nuts, chopped

Mix oil, sugar, milk and eggs. Add apples and vanilla. Add dry

ingredients and nuts. Bake in large tube pan (Bundt or ring pan)

at 350 degrees for 1 – 1½ hours. Cool before removing.

Page 67: The Funny Grandma Cookbook · Funny Grandma Cookbook Betty Ann (Crutchfield) Wheat has become known by other names over her life, notably as Grammy. Funny Grandma was assigned to

CARROT CAKE

Beat together:

2 C. sugar

1½ C. oil

Add:

4 eggs

2 C. flour

2 t. baking soda

1 t. salt

2 t. cinnamon

Add:

3 C. carrots, grated

½ C. raisins, soaked several hours in enough bourbon

to cover

½ C. walnuts or pecans, chopped

Grease 2, 9” or 3, 8” round cake pans and line them with a circle

of waxed paper. Pour mixture into pans. Bake at 350 degrees

for 35 minutes (9” pans) or 25 minutes (8” pans). Remove from

oven when cake springs back when you touch it and cool for 10

minutes. Ice when completely cool.

ICING

1 box powdered sugar

¼ C. margarine

1 8 oz. package cream cheese

2 t. vanilla

Mix all ingredients together and beat until fluffy.

Page 68: The Funny Grandma Cookbook · Funny Grandma Cookbook Betty Ann (Crutchfield) Wheat has become known by other names over her life, notably as Grammy. Funny Grandma was assigned to

SHERRY CAKE

1 package yellow cake mix

1 package instant vanilla pudding, 4 serving size

¾ C. oil

¾ C. sherry

4 eggs

Butter

Cinnamon

Granulated sugar

Powdered sugar

Combine first five ingredients and mix on medium speed for 10

minutes. Butter Bundt pan (ring pan) and coat with cinnamon-

sugar. Add ½ of batter, more cinnamon-sugar and rest of batter.

Bake 45 – 60 minutes at 350 degrees. Let cool 10 minutes and

turn out onto plate. Dust with powdered sugar.

Page 69: The Funny Grandma Cookbook · Funny Grandma Cookbook Betty Ann (Crutchfield) Wheat has become known by other names over her life, notably as Grammy. Funny Grandma was assigned to

PUMPKIN SHEETCAKE

Beat together:

4 eggs

2 C. sugar

1 C. oil

Add:

2 C. flour

2 t. baking soda

2 C. pumpkin

2 t. cinnamon

½ t. salt

Mix well. Bake in jelly roll pan at 350 for 25 – 30 minutes. Ice

when cool:

ICING

3 oz. cream cheese

¼ C. margarine

2 C. powdered sugar

1 t. vanilla

1 T. milk

Page 70: The Funny Grandma Cookbook · Funny Grandma Cookbook Betty Ann (Crutchfield) Wheat has become known by other names over her life, notably as Grammy. Funny Grandma was assigned to

CHOCOLATE COOKIE SHEET CAKE

Mix in a bowl:

2 C. sugar

2 C. flour

4 T. powdered cocoa

1 t. cinnamon

Bring to a full boil and set aside:

1 C. water

2 cubes (8 oz.) butter

½ C. Crisco (shortening)

Add to flour mixture:

2 eggs

½ C. buttermilk or sour cream

1 t. baking soda

1 t. vanilla

Pour hot liquid into flour and egg mixture while still hot. Mix

and pour into greased and floured sheet cake pan. Bake at 400

degrees for 20 minutes.

ICING

1 box powdered sugar

4 T. powdered cocoa

1 T. vanilla

1 cube (4 oz) butter, melted

4-5 T. milk

Beat all ingredients together until smooth. Pour on cake and

spread as soon as it comes out of the oven and let cool.

Page 71: The Funny Grandma Cookbook · Funny Grandma Cookbook Betty Ann (Crutchfield) Wheat has become known by other names over her life, notably as Grammy. Funny Grandma was assigned to

WHIPPED CREAM PIE

1 C. real whipping cream

3 oz. cream cheese

¾ C. granulated sugar

1 t. vanilla

1 package frozen strawberries

1 baked pie shell or graham cracker crust

1 T. cornstarch

Whip cream to very soft peaks. Add softened cream cheese, ½

cup of the sugar and vanilla. Whip until stiff and all ingredients

are well-blended. Pour into cooled pie shell. Place in

refrigerator.

To prepare strawberries, thaw and drain over sauce pan to

reserve juice. Add ¼ cup sugar and cornstarch to sauce pan and

cook over low heat until thickened. Remove from heat and

allow to cool. Return strawberries to thickened mixture when

cool. Pour strawberry mixture over pie and refrigerate several

hours.

Page 72: The Funny Grandma Cookbook · Funny Grandma Cookbook Betty Ann (Crutchfield) Wheat has become known by other names over her life, notably as Grammy. Funny Grandma was assigned to

PUMPKIN PIE (makes two, 9-inch pies)

4 eggs

1 No. 2½ can (3½ cups) Del Monte pumpkin

1⅓ C. sugar

1 t. salt

1 t. cinnamon

1 t. powdered ginger

1 t. nutmeg

4 T. butter, melted

1¾ C. hot milk

1 uncooked pastry shell

Beat eggs slightly, add pumpkin, sugar, salt and spices. Mix

well. Add melted butter, hot milk and stir thoroughly. Pour

into uncooked pastry shells. Bake in hot oven (450 degrees) for

15 minutes. Reduce heat to moderate (350 degrees) and

continue to bake for 35 minutes, or until the pie filling is “set”

and the crust nicely browned.

Page 73: The Funny Grandma Cookbook · Funny Grandma Cookbook Betty Ann (Crutchfield) Wheat has become known by other names over her life, notably as Grammy. Funny Grandma was assigned to

MINCEMEAT (FOR PIES)

6 apples, peeled and chopped in food processor

3 pounds raisins, chopped in food processor

1½ C. almonds, blanched

7 oz. candied orange peel

3½ oz. candied lemon peel

8 oz. dates, finely sliced

2 C. apple juice

Juice of 1 lemon and 3 oranges

3 C. brown sugar

2 t. ground cinnamon

1 t. ground nutmeg

1½ t. ground cloves

1½ t. ground allspice

Chop apples, raisins, almonds, orange peel and lemon peel in

food processor. Cook all ingredients for 10 -15 minutes, stirring

often. Add:

1 C. brandy

1 C. butter, melted

Ready to use. Will keep in fridge for 3 months or in freezer for

one year.

Page 74: The Funny Grandma Cookbook · Funny Grandma Cookbook Betty Ann (Crutchfield) Wheat has become known by other names over her life, notably as Grammy. Funny Grandma was assigned to

PI PIE CRUST (for 1, 9”, two-crust pie)

2 2/3 C. sifted flour

1 t. salt

1 C. Crisco (shortening)

6 T. water

Mix dry ingredients. Stir in water one tablespoon at a time

using a fork or pastry blender. Press together into a ball and

knead a few times. Roll out one-half of the dough on floured

board about 1-1/2” larger than pie tin for bottom crust. Roll out

other half ½” larger than pie tin for top crust. Bake per

directions for type of pie being made.

MOM PIE CRUST (for 1, 9” two-crust pie)

Use 3 Betty Crocker pie crust sticks. Mix per directions and

hope for the best.

Page 75: The Funny Grandma Cookbook · Funny Grandma Cookbook Betty Ann (Crutchfield) Wheat has become known by other names over her life, notably as Grammy. Funny Grandma was assigned to

PUMPKIN BREAD

3 C. sugar

1 C. vegetable oil

1 2/3 C. pumpkin (1 pound can)

4 eggs, beaten

3½ C. all-purpose flour

2 t. baking soda

2 t. salt

1 t. baking powder

1 t. ground cinnamon

1 t. ground nutmeg

1 t. ground cloves

1 t. ground allspice

2/3 C. water

Grease two 9” x 5” x 3” loaf pans; dust lightly with flour; tap

out any excess. Combine sugar, oil, pumpkin and eggs; beat

until light and fluffy. Sift together flour, baking soda, salt,

baking powder, cinnamon, nutmeg, allspice and cloves. Add to

pumpkin mixture alternately with water; mix until blended.

Turn into pans. Bake in moderate oven (350 degrees) 45 - 60

minutes, or until centers spring back when lightly pressed with

fingertip. Cool loaves in pans 10 minutes. Turn out onto wire

rack; cool completely.

Page 76: The Funny Grandma Cookbook · Funny Grandma Cookbook Betty Ann (Crutchfield) Wheat has become known by other names over her life, notably as Grammy. Funny Grandma was assigned to

ORANGE POPPY SEED CAKE

¼ C. poppy seeds

2 C. flour

1 t. baking powder

1 t. baking soda

1 C. butter, softened

1 C. granulated sugar

3 eggs, separated

1 t. orange brandy

1 C. sour cream

Grated rind of 1 orange

Cream butter, sugar and egg yolks until fluffy. Add orange

brandy, sour cream, orange rind and poppy seeds. Mix flour,

baking powder, soda. Add to bowl and blend well. Beat egg

whites until soft peaks form, and blend in to batter. Pour

mixture into tube pan (Bundt pan) (buttered and floured). Bake

at 350 degrees for 50 minutes.

GLAZE

½ C. sugar

¼ C. orange juice

1/3 C. orange brandy

Cover hot cake with glaze while still in pan. Let soak until cool.

Remove from pan onto cake rake.

Page 77: The Funny Grandma Cookbook · Funny Grandma Cookbook Betty Ann (Crutchfield) Wheat has become known by other names over her life, notably as Grammy. Funny Grandma was assigned to

PLUM PUDDING

1 C. flour

1 C. sugar

1 C. suet, chopped

1 C. nuts, chopped

1 C. dates

1½ C. currants

2 C. raisins

1 C. bread crumbs

1 t. each: cinnamon, nutmeg

½ t. each: allspice, cloves, salt

1 C. milk

2 eggs

Mix all dry ingredients well. Beat eggs and milk, add to dry

ingredients and mix well. Put into well-greased, covered pans.

Steam in large pot of water on stove top for 2½ hours. Remove

from pans while hot. When cooled, wrap in waxed paper or

store in airtight tins. To serve: steam again or reheat in

microwave. Serve with Nutmeg Sauce or Butter Sauce.

HOT NUTMEG SAUCE

½ C. sugar

1 T. cornstarch

¼ t. each: nutmeg, salt

1 C. boiling water

2 T. butter, melted

1½ T. lemon juice

Mix sugar, cornstarch, salt and nutmeg. Gradually add water.

Cook over low heat until thick and clear. Add butter and lemon

juice and blend well. Serve over plum pudding. Also good

over apple dumplings.

Page 78: The Funny Grandma Cookbook · Funny Grandma Cookbook Betty Ann (Crutchfield) Wheat has become known by other names over her life, notably as Grammy. Funny Grandma was assigned to

HOLIDAY CRANBERRY BREAD

Sift Together:

2 C. flour

1 C. sugar

1½ t. baking powder

½ t. baking soda

1 t. salt

Combine:

Juice and grated rind of one orange

2 T. shortening

Enough boiling water to make total of ¾ cup

Add:

1 egg, well-beaten

Blend liquid into dry ingredients. Stir only until flour mixture is

dampened.

Add:

1 C. nuts, chopped

1 C. raw cranberries, halved

Pour into greased, 9” x 5” x 3” inch pan. Push batter into

corners leaving center slightly hollowed. Let stand 20 minutes

before baking. Bake at 350 degrees 60 to 70 minutes. Cool

before slicing.

Page 79: The Funny Grandma Cookbook · Funny Grandma Cookbook Betty Ann (Crutchfield) Wheat has become known by other names over her life, notably as Grammy. Funny Grandma was assigned to

SCOTCH WHISKEY CAKE

1 pound brown sugar (2 1/3 C. firmly packed)

¾ C. margarine or butter

7 eggs

3 C. flour, sifted (I do)

¼ C. flour, sifted

2 pounds Muscat raisins, seeded

3½ C. pecans

1 T. cinnamon

2 whole nutmegs, grated

1 T. baking powder

½ C. bourbon

Cream together butter and sugar. Add eggs. Add 3 cups of

flour and other dry ingredients alternately with bourbon. Toss

raisins and nuts in ¼ cup of flour until well coated. Add to

batter and stir gently until well mixed. Grease 3 loaf pans or 1

very large ring pan (Bundt pan) and line bottom(s) with waxed

paper. Pour batter into pan(s). Bake at 275 degrees for 2½ - 3

hours until cake shrinks from sides of pan and top springs back

when lightly pressed with finger. This cake is the absolute best.

Page 80: The Funny Grandma Cookbook · Funny Grandma Cookbook Betty Ann (Crutchfield) Wheat has become known by other names over her life, notably as Grammy. Funny Grandma was assigned to

ORANGE RUM CAKE

1 C. butter

1 C. sugar

1 t. baking soda

1 C. buttermilk

2 grated rinds of oranges

1 grated rind of lemon

2 C. nuts, finely chopped

2 eggs

2½ C. flour

2 t. baking powder

Heat oven to 350 degrees. Grease 9” or 10” diameter tube pan

(Bundt pan). Cream butter until fluffy, add sugar, grated rinds

and eggs gradually. Beat until very light. Mix dry ingredients,

sift and add alternately with buttermilk in small amounts beating

each time just until blended. Pour batter into pan and bake

approximately 1 hour. Sides should shrink from pan and cake

spring back when pressed with finger. Remove from oven and

while hot, pour the following glaze slowly over the cake:

1 C. sugar

Juice from 2 oranges

Juice from 1 lemon

¼ C. rum

Strain juice and mix with sugar in a saucepan. Bring to a boil

and stir until sugar dissolves. Remove from heat, add rum.

Let cake stand for a day or two before serving. Remove from

cake pan and put on plate. This is tricky: I use 2 plates. I dump

the cake out on one, set the other on the cake and turn it over if

there is a top (as in a Bundt pan). Sprinkle with powdered sugar

and serve. Good for a pot luck or buffet. I used to bake this for

New Year's Eve.

Page 81: The Funny Grandma Cookbook · Funny Grandma Cookbook Betty Ann (Crutchfield) Wheat has become known by other names over her life, notably as Grammy. Funny Grandma was assigned to

LIZZIES

15 oz. seedless raisins (1 package)

½ C. bourbon or orange juice

¼ C. butter or margarine, softened

½ C. light brown sugar, packed

2 eggs

1½ C. regular all-purpose flour

1½ t. baking soda

1½ t. ground cinnamon

½ t. ground nutmeg

½ t. ground cloves

1 pound (4 cups) pecan halves or broken walnut

meats

15 oz. currants (1 package)

1 pound candied cherries

Confectioner’s (powdered) sugar (optional)

Stir raisins and bourbon together and let stand 1 hour. Preheat

oven to 325 degrees. Cream butter, then gradually beat in

brown sugar. Add eggs, one at a time, beating well after each.

Mix next 5 ingredients (flour thru cloves) and add, mixing well.

Add raisins and bourbon, nuts, currants and cherries and mix

well.

Drop by teaspoonfuls onto buttered cookie sheets. Bake about

15 minutes. Remove to cake racks and cool. Makes about 10

dozen.

To Store: Store in airtight containers. Just before serving,

sprinkle with confectioner’s sugar, if desired. Can be frozen.

Page 82: The Funny Grandma Cookbook · Funny Grandma Cookbook Betty Ann (Crutchfield) Wheat has become known by other names over her life, notably as Grammy. Funny Grandma was assigned to

THUMBPRINT COOKIES

Sift Together:

1½ C. flour, sifted

¼ t. salt

Cream:

¾ C. butter, gradually adding

1 C. packed brown sugar

Blend In:

1 unbeaten egg yolk

½ t. vanilla

Add:

the dry ingredients to the wet and mix thoroughly. Chill

1 hour for easier handling.

Shape:

dough into balls, 1 inch in diameter. Place on ungreased

baking sheets.

Press:

deep hole in center of cookie with floured thimble,

finger or thumb.

Bake:

in 375 degree oven about 10 minutes.

Put scant (1/2 t.) raspberry jelly into each hole and return to

oven until jelly barely melts (maybe 5 minutes). Remove and

cool before storing. (I usually triple this recipe.)

Page 83: The Funny Grandma Cookbook · Funny Grandma Cookbook Betty Ann (Crutchfield) Wheat has become known by other names over her life, notably as Grammy. Funny Grandma was assigned to

SOFT GINGER COOKIES

1 C. butter

1 C. granulated sugar

1 C. cream, soured with 1 t. white vinegar

1 C. molasses

2 eggs

5 C. flour, sifted

½ t. salt

1½ t. baking soda

2 t. baking powder

1 t. ground ginger

1 t. ground cloves

1 t. ground cinnamon

1 T. powdered cocoa

Cream butter and sugar until fluffy. Add eggs and beat well.

Beat in molasses and all spices. Add flour and cream

alternately. Chill dough for several hours. Drop by heaping

teaspoons onto greased cookie sheet and bake at 350 degrees for

10 to 12 minutes.

GLAZE

When cookies are cool, they may be iced with this glaze:

1 cup sifted powdered sugar

strained lemon juice

Mix until smooth.

Page 84: The Funny Grandma Cookbook · Funny Grandma Cookbook Betty Ann (Crutchfield) Wheat has become known by other names over her life, notably as Grammy. Funny Grandma was assigned to

GINGERBREAD BOYS

2 C. butter or margarine

2 C. brown sugar

1 C. molasses

4 eggs

9 C. flour

3 t. baking soda

2 t. each ground ginger, ground cinnamon

1 t. each ground nutmeg, ground cloves, salt

Gingerbread boy cookie cutter

Cream butter and sugar. Beat in molasses and eggs. Add

spices, baking soda, salt and flour and stir until well mixed.

Chill for several hours or overnight. Roll out dough 1/8” thick

and cut out boys. Set on greased cookie sheets. Make eyes,

nose, etc. on each boy with a pointed toothpick before baking.

Bake in 325 degree oven for about 10 minutes. Remove from

sheets while still warm and cool on wire racks. When

completely cool, store in an airtight tin.

Page 85: The Funny Grandma Cookbook · Funny Grandma Cookbook Betty Ann (Crutchfield) Wheat has become known by other names over her life, notably as Grammy. Funny Grandma was assigned to

BOURBON BALLS

4 T. cocoa

1 C. powdered sugar

2 T. light corn syrup plus enough bourbon to make

½ cup

1½ C. vanilla wafers, crushed

¾ C. pecans, finely chopped

½ C. powdered sugar (for dredging)

Stir together cocoa and powdered sugar. Stir in syrup and

bourbon mixture. Add wafer crumbs and nuts and mix

thoroughly. Roll mixture into small balls and dredge in

powdered sugar. Store in airtight tins.

MICE

1 C. margarine

¾ C. powdered sugar, sifted

1 t. vanilla

¾ t. salt

1 C. rolled oats

2 C. flour, sifted

½ C. nuts, finely chopped

Mix all ingredients in bowl. Press into “mouse shapes” with

fingers. Bake on greased cookie sheet at 325 degrees for 25 - 30

minutes until very lightly browned. Roll in powdered sugar.

Page 86: The Funny Grandma Cookbook · Funny Grandma Cookbook Betty Ann (Crutchfield) Wheat has become known by other names over her life, notably as Grammy. Funny Grandma was assigned to

AUSTRIAN CRESCENTS

1 C. walnuts or pecans, finely ground

1 C. butter (soft)

¾ C. sugar

2½ C. all-purpose flour, sifted

1½ t. vanilla extract

Combine all ingredients, and knead quickly to a smooth dough

with fingers. Shape 1 teaspoon of dough at a time into small

crescents, about 1½ inches long. Bake on ungreased cookie

sheets in pre-heated moderate oven (350 degrees) until slightly

browned, about 15 to 17 minutes. Cool for 1 minute. While

still warm, roll cookies in powdered sugar.

Page 87: The Funny Grandma Cookbook · Funny Grandma Cookbook Betty Ann (Crutchfield) Wheat has become known by other names over her life, notably as Grammy. Funny Grandma was assigned to

SHORTBREAD COOKIES

1 C. butter

½ t. salt

¾ C. firmly packed brown sugar

2¼ - 2½ C. flour, sifted

Cream butter and salt. Gradually add brown sugar, creaming

thoroughly. Blend in flour to form a stiff dough.

Divide mixture into four parts; shape each into a ball. Place on

ungreased baking sheets and flatten into circles, about ½ inch

thick. Flute to form scalloped edges. Prick lines on circles with

fork, outlining 12 wedges on each.

Bake in slow oven (300 degrees) 25 to 30 until light golden

brown. While warm, cut along pricked lines but do not cut all

the way through. Cool; break into wedges. Makes 4 dozen

cookies.

Page 88: The Funny Grandma Cookbook · Funny Grandma Cookbook Betty Ann (Crutchfield) Wheat has become known by other names over her life, notably as Grammy. Funny Grandma was assigned to

LEMON BARS

2¼ C. all purpose flour, sifted

½ C. powdered sugar, sifted

1 C. butter or margarine

4 eggs

2 C. granulated sugar

1/3 C. lemon juice

1 grated rind of lemon

½ t. baking powder

Powdered sugar, sifted

Sift 2 cups flour and ½ cup powdered sugar. Cut shortening

into flour/sugar until mixture clings together. Press into 13 x 9

inch baking pan. Bake at 350 degrees until lightly browned,

about 20 to 25 minutes. Remove from oven.

Put eggs, sugar and lemon juice in blender or into bowl for

blending with electric mixer. Blend until thick and smooth. Sift

remaining ¼ cup flour and baking powder, and add to egg

mixture; add lemon rind; blend well. Pour over baked crust.

Bake at 350 degrees 25 minutes more. Sprinkle with sifted

powdered sugar. Cool; cut into bars. Makes about 30.

Page 89: The Funny Grandma Cookbook · Funny Grandma Cookbook Betty Ann (Crutchfield) Wheat has become known by other names over her life, notably as Grammy. Funny Grandma was assigned to

MRS. LEA'S SUGAR COOKIES

1 pound butter

1 C. brown sugar

1 C. white, granulated sugar

3 eggs

6 C. flour

1 t. vanilla

1 t. baking soda

Cream butter and sugars. Add other ingredients and mix well.

Chill, roll out and cut into shapes, or use cookie cutters. Bake at

350 degrees 8 to 10 minutes.

COCOA PEANUT LOGS

1/3 C. peanut butter

4 C. Cocoa Krispies

1 C. (6 oz.) semi-sweet chocolate pieces

Melt chocolate pieces and peanut butter over hot, not boiling

water. Stir until well blended and remove from heat. Add

Cocoa Krispies. Press mixture into a 9 x 9 inch pan. Put in

refrigerator until hard (1 - 2 hours). Cut into log-shaped bars.

With one more cup of Cocoa Krispies, this fills a 9 x 13 inch

pan. This is a quick cookie for homeroom parties, etc.

Page 90: The Funny Grandma Cookbook · Funny Grandma Cookbook Betty Ann (Crutchfield) Wheat has become known by other names over her life, notably as Grammy. Funny Grandma was assigned to

PRALINE BARS

Combine:

¾ C. margarine, melted

1 C. nuts, chopped

Add:

2 C. brown sugar

2 eggs, well-beaten

1 C. flour

½ t. baking powder

Bake in greased 9 x 13 inch pan for 30 minutes at 350 degrees.

Cut while warm. These are easy and really delicious. Good

enough for company and good with ice cream.

APRICOT BARS

1½ C. flour

1 t. baking powder

1 t. salt

1½ C. oats, quick or regular

1 C. brown sugar

1 C. butter, melted

1 C. apricot preserves

Combine dry ingredients. Pour butter over and toss quickly.

Press 2/3 of mixture into bottom of ungreased 9 x 13 inch pan.

Spread with preserves. Sprinkle remaining mix on top. Bake at

350 degrees for 30 minutes.

Don’t put preserves too close to edge; it will burn. Currant or

raspberry jelly is good too.

Page 91: The Funny Grandma Cookbook · Funny Grandma Cookbook Betty Ann (Crutchfield) Wheat has become known by other names over her life, notably as Grammy. Funny Grandma was assigned to

MOLASSES CRINKLES

Mix thoroughly:

¾ C. butter, softened

1 C. brown sugar (packed)

1 egg

¼ C. molasses

Stir In:

2¼ C. flour, sifted

2 t. soda

¼ t. salt

½ t. ground cloves

1 t. ground cinnamon

1 t. ground ginger

Chill dough. Heat oven to 375 degrees. Roll dough into balls

the size of large walnuts. Flatten balls with bottom of drinking

glass dipped in granulated sugar OR dip tops in granulated

sugar. Place, sugared-side-up, 3 inches apart on greased baking

sheet. Bake approx. 13 minutes just until set but not hard. Do

Not Over Cook. Makes about 4 dozen cookies. Should be soft

and chewy.

Page 92: The Funny Grandma Cookbook · Funny Grandma Cookbook Betty Ann (Crutchfield) Wheat has become known by other names over her life, notably as Grammy. Funny Grandma was assigned to

CHOCOLATE CHEESE DROP COOKIES

1½ C. granulated sugar

1 C. butter or shortening

3 oz. cream cheese

1 egg

2 T. milk

1 t. vanilla

½ t. salt

2 squares unsweetened chocolate, melted

2¼ C. flour

1½ t. baking powder

½ C. walnuts, chopped

Cream sugar, butter and cream cheese. Add egg, milk, vanilla,

salt and chocolate and mix well. Add flour, baking powder and

walnuts and mix well. Drop by teaspoons onto cookie sheet.

[missing baking time and temperature] Do not overcook. They

should be chewy and soft.

DANISH SUGAR COOKIES

2 C. granulated sugar

2 C. butter

2 eggs

2 t. vanilla

4 C. flour

1 t. baking soda

1 t. cream of tartar

Cream sugar and butter. Add eggs and vanilla and mix well.

Add other ingredients and mix well. Form balls and put on

greased cookie sheet. Flatten with drinking glass dipped in

cinnamon-sugar and sugar. Bake 8 - 10 minutes at 350 degrees.

Page 93: The Funny Grandma Cookbook · Funny Grandma Cookbook Betty Ann (Crutchfield) Wheat has become known by other names over her life, notably as Grammy. Funny Grandma was assigned to

CORNMEAL SUGAR COOKIES

1 C. butter

1 C. granulated sugar

2 egg yolks

1 t. grated lemon peel

1½ C. flour

1 C. yellow corn meal

Beat butter and sugar until fluffy. Add egg yolks and lemon

peel and beat. Add flour and cornmeal and stir until well mixed.

Chill dough for 3 – 4 hours. Roll out on bread board sprinkled

with sugar or roll out between layers of waxed paper to 1/8 inch

thickness. Cut shapes or use cookie cutters. Sprinkle cookies

with sugar before baking. Bake at 350 degrees for 8 -10

minutes. Cool slightly but remove from cookie sheet while still

warm. These are good for Fall events. Autumn leaf, acorn and

pumpkin cookie cutters are good. These can also be iced if

desired.

Page 94: The Funny Grandma Cookbook · Funny Grandma Cookbook Betty Ann (Crutchfield) Wheat has become known by other names over her life, notably as Grammy. Funny Grandma was assigned to

CHOCOLATE SHORTBREAD

½ c. butter, softened

8 T. sugar

1 t. vanilla

5 T. powdered cocoa

1 C. flour

Cream butter until pale and fluffy. Add sugar and vanilla and

beat well. Sift flour and cocoa together (do not skip sifting),

add to butter mixture until smooth. Chill dough until firm

enough to roll. On a sugared surface, roll out dough to 3/8 inch

thick. Cut cookies and bake on greased cookie sheet at 275

degrees for 30 minutes. This is the best chocolate cookie that I

know of.

Page 95: The Funny Grandma Cookbook · Funny Grandma Cookbook Betty Ann (Crutchfield) Wheat has become known by other names over her life, notably as Grammy. Funny Grandma was assigned to

BROWNIES

2 C. granulated sugar

2 squares, bittersweet baker’s chocolate

1 C. margarine

4 eggs, well beaten

1½ C. flour

1 t. salt

1 t. baking powder

2 t. vanilla

1 C. nuts, chopped

Melt butter and chocolate together in heavy pan over low heat.

Add sugar gradually. Add eggs, vanilla and nuts. Add flour,

salt and baking powder. Bake in 9 X 13 inch pan in 350 degree

oven for 25 - 30 minutes.

Page 96: The Funny Grandma Cookbook · Funny Grandma Cookbook Betty Ann (Crutchfield) Wheat has become known by other names over her life, notably as Grammy. Funny Grandma was assigned to

DATE COOKY PILLOWS

1½ C. brown sugar

½ C. butter or margarine

1 egg

1 t. vanilla

2½ C. flour

1½ t. each: cream of tartar and baking soda

½ C. milk with 1½ t. vinegar added

Cream sugar, butter, egg and vanilla. Mix flour with cream of

tartar and soda. Add flour mixture and milk alternately to

creamed mixture and stir until blended. Cover and chill at least

8 hours. Roll out dough one portion at a time and keep rest of

dough in fridge. Use a heavily floured board and work quickly.

Cut out round cookies and set on greased cookie sheets. Top

with 1 teaspoon date filling (see below) and cover with a second

cookie. Bake at 350 degrees for 12 minutes or until lightly

browned. Cool on wire racks. Store in airtight tins. A

delicious cookie but dough is soft and hard to handle; Katie and

Carol declare it to be among their greatest challenges.

DATE FILLING

¾ C. orange juice

½ C. granulated sugar

2 C. dates, chopped

½ C. nuts, finely chopped

Gently boil all ingredients for 5 minutes, stirring to prevent

burning. Add nuts. Let cool before using.

Page 97: The Funny Grandma Cookbook · Funny Grandma Cookbook Betty Ann (Crutchfield) Wheat has become known by other names over her life, notably as Grammy. Funny Grandma was assigned to

FUDGE

1 jar marshmallow cream

3 small packages or 1½ large package chocolate

chips (small)

¼ pound margarine

4½ C. sugar

1 large can Carnation evaporated milk

1 t. vanilla

1½ C. nuts, chopped

Put marshmallow, chocolate chips and margarine in large bowl.

Mix sugar and milk in pan over low heat; boil for at least 14

minutes, stirring constantly. Pour over mixture in bowl. Beat

until cool, adding vanilla and nuts. Pour into buttered plates or

large pan. Put into refrigerator. When firm, cut into squares.

Makes 5 pounds.

Page 98: The Funny Grandma Cookbook · Funny Grandma Cookbook Betty Ann (Crutchfield) Wheat has become known by other names over her life, notably as Grammy. Funny Grandma was assigned to

CANDIED ORANGE PEEL

1 large, navel orange

3/8 C. sugar

Water

Preheat oven to 250 degrees [??]. Cut bottom and top off

orange and discard. Slit skin of orange into quarters from top to

bottom and peel orange. Cut peel lengthwise into 1/8 inch wide

julienne strips.

Put orange peel strips into saucepan with enough cold water to

cover and boil over high heat for 5 minutes. Drain, rinse under

cold water. Repeat the procedure two more times.

Return peel strips to saucepan, add sugar and ¼ cup water and

bring to boil over medium heat. Reduce heat and simmer until

liquid evaporates and sugar glazes rind strips. Stir often during

this phase. It takes 20 -30 minutes. Lay peel strips to drain

separately on a cake rack set on a cookie sheet or waxed paper.

When completely cool, pack in an airtight container at room

temperature. Keeps for 3 months. Good to eat as is or to use in

fruit cakes or cookies or dipped in chocolate.

Page 99: The Funny Grandma Cookbook · Funny Grandma Cookbook Betty Ann (Crutchfield) Wheat has become known by other names over her life, notably as Grammy. Funny Grandma was assigned to

NUT GOODIE BARS

1 6 oz. pkg. butterscotch chips

1 6 oz. pkg. chocolate chips

½ C. butter

¾ C. peanut butter

1/3 package miniature marshmallows

8 oz. salted peanuts (or more)

Melt butterscotch and chocolate chips, butter and peanut butter

together in double boiler (or microwave). Butter a pan and

cover with marshmallows and peanuts. Pour chocolate mix over

marshmallows and nuts and cool in refrigerator.

TRUFFLES

1½ pounds semisweet (baker’s) chocolate

½ C. heavy cream

3 T. Grand Marnier (liqueur)

½-1 C. powdered sugar

½ C. unsweetened cocoa powder or ground nuts

Melt chocolate in top of double boiler over simmering water.

Add the cream and brandy and stir until blended. Cool to room

temperature, beat in sugar. Chill till firm, not hard. Shape into

balls. Roll in cocoa or ground nuts. Store in airtight container

in refrigerator.

Page 100: The Funny Grandma Cookbook · Funny Grandma Cookbook Betty Ann (Crutchfield) Wheat has become known by other names over her life, notably as Grammy. Funny Grandma was assigned to

HONEY – BUTTER SAUCE

½ C. butter

1 C. powdered sugar

3 T. honey

2 T. cream

Cook in double boiler slowly until sugar is dissolved. Good

over mince-meat tarts, apple dumplings or plum pudding.

HOT FUDGE SAUCE

1 C. cocoa

1 C. sugar

½ C. margarine or butter

1 C. milk or cream

pinch of salt

1 t. vanilla

Mix together all ingredients except vanilla. Bring to rolling

boil, stirring all the time until thick. Remove from heat. Add

vanilla, stir until smooth.

You can also cook this in a double boiler over barely simmering

water for about 15 minutes. This way you don’t have to stir it

constantly, just 2 or 3 times.

Page 101: The Funny Grandma Cookbook · Funny Grandma Cookbook Betty Ann (Crutchfield) Wheat has become known by other names over her life, notably as Grammy. Funny Grandma was assigned to

BREADS, MISCELLANEOUS

Dad’s Pancakes

Dad’s Waffles

Waffles a la Kissler

French Toast

Syrup (Pi Crutchfield)

Cinnamon Toast

Granola

Raisin Bran Muffins

Oatmeal Muffins (Joan Caruso)

Graham Cracker Muffins

Pumpkin Muffins

Seven Week Bran Muffins (Joanne Pernu)

Mexican Corn Bread (Pat Fridena)

Bread Stuffing (Pi Crutchfield)

Page 102: The Funny Grandma Cookbook · Funny Grandma Cookbook Betty Ann (Crutchfield) Wheat has become known by other names over her life, notably as Grammy. Funny Grandma was assigned to

DAD'S PANCAKES

He uses only Hungry Jack Buttermilk Pancake Mix. Follow

directions and use Dad’s expert light touch. He says to wait

until bubbles form before turning Pancake. They are done when

underside is light brown. Don’t turn more than one time or they

get tough.

DAD'S WAFFLES

He uses only Bisquick. Follow directions. Make sure waffle

iron is hot enough. Pour batter to cover just slightly over one

half the area on the waffle iron surface. Gently shut the lid and

find something else to do for about 5 minutes. After the light

goes off, he waits another minute. Open lid and use a fork to

pull waffle loose from top half of the iron. He lifts waffle off

with his fork. Eat while hot.

WAFFLES A LA KISSLER

Hot waffles covered with butter, fresh, sweetened mashed

strawberries (one tablespoon sugar) and topped with whipped

cream. Some family members are known to put syrup on before

piling on the strawberry and whipped cream layers. This

awesome concoction is served in the spring when our

strawberries are ripe [there was bed of strawberries years ago

along the south side of the house]. We also have bacon or

sausage, fresh orange and /or grapefruit juice and coffee. No

one eats lunch.

Page 103: The Funny Grandma Cookbook · Funny Grandma Cookbook Betty Ann (Crutchfield) Wheat has become known by other names over her life, notably as Grammy. Funny Grandma was assigned to

FRENCH TOAST

Wheatberry bread (or other firm bread)

3 eggs

1 C. milk

1 t. sugar

1 t. oil (optional)

1 t. vanilla

½ t. cinnamon

½ t. nutmeg

Break eggs into blender. Add rest of the ingredients and whirl

for about half a minute. Pour into a wide bowl that a slice of

bread will fit into.

Melt butter on griddle. Soak one slice in bowl for a short time.

Hold the bowl over the griddle if you think the bread will drip

on its way from bowl to griddle. Cook over medium heat until

bottom side is golden brown. Turn over and cook until the

second side is golden. Serve immediately with butter and syrup

or fresh applesauce.

Page 104: The Funny Grandma Cookbook · Funny Grandma Cookbook Betty Ann (Crutchfield) Wheat has become known by other names over her life, notably as Grammy. Funny Grandma was assigned to

SYRUP

4 C. granulated sugar

½ C. light brown sugar (optional)

2 C. water

1 t. vanilla

1 t. maple flavoring

Combine sugar and water. Stir until dissolved. Bring to a boil,

lower heat, cover and boil gently for 10 minutes. Remove from

heat, cool slightly and add vanilla and maple flavors. Stir only

until mixed; makes about 1 quart. This keeps indefinitely in

refrigerator but is best used at room temperature. This costs a

fraction of “real” syrup from the store and tastes just as good. I

store it in syrup bottles that I’ve saved or in a glass jar with a

good lid.

CINNAMON TOAST

1 slice bread

Butter

Cinnamon sugar mix (1 part cinnamon : 3 parts sugar)

Toast the bread, and butter it while hot. Sprinkle cinnamon

sugar mix liberally over the buttered toast. Put toast into toaster

oven or in regular oven until sugar mixture bubbles. Remove,

cut into birdie beaks. Make sure sugar is not too hot before

serving (or Adam will test it and burn himself.)

Page 105: The Funny Grandma Cookbook · Funny Grandma Cookbook Betty Ann (Crutchfield) Wheat has become known by other names over her life, notably as Grammy. Funny Grandma was assigned to

GRANOLA

6 C. regular, uncooked, rolled oats

1/2-1½ C. wheat germ

½ C. nonfat dry milk (optional)

1 C. nuts: almonds, pecans or walnuts (can be mixed)

1/2-1 C. sunflower seeds

½ C. vegetable oil

1 C. honey (or ¼ C. honey plus 1/3 C. brown sugar)

1 t. vanilla

1 t. cinnamon

½ t. ground cloves or ground nutmeg

1-2 C. dried raisins, dates, currants or apricots

Toast oats, wheat germ, dry milk powder and nuts in shallow

pan in 300 degree oven for 15 minutes. Heat oil and honey (or

brown sugar) in small saucepan until warm (and brown sugar is

dissolved). Add vanilla and spices, stir into oats and toss until

combined. Spread in thin layers in several pans. Bake in 250

degree oven 15 - 30 minutes, stirring 2 times. Remove from

oven, stir in dried fruit and cool completely before storing in

airtight containers.

Page 106: The Funny Grandma Cookbook · Funny Grandma Cookbook Betty Ann (Crutchfield) Wheat has become known by other names over her life, notably as Grammy. Funny Grandma was assigned to

RAISIN BRAN MUFFINS

1¼ C. flour

3 t. baking powder

½ t. salt

½ C. sugar

3 C. Kellogg’s Raisin Bran

1¼ C. milk

1 egg

1/3 C. vegetable oil

Stir together flour, baking powder, salt and sugar. Set aside.

Put Raisin Bran and milk into mixing bowl. Stir to combine and

let soak for 1 – 2 minutes. Add egg and oil and beat well. Add

dry ingredients and stir only until combined. Put batter into 12,

greased muffin pan cups. Bake in 400 degree oven about 25

minutes. Serve warm.

Page 107: The Funny Grandma Cookbook · Funny Grandma Cookbook Betty Ann (Crutchfield) Wheat has become known by other names over her life, notably as Grammy. Funny Grandma was assigned to

OATMEAL MUFFINS

Soak together for 1 hour:

1 C. rolled oats

1 C. buttermilk or soured milk

Mix together thoroughly:

1/3 C. butter

½ C. brown sugar

1 egg

Sift together:

1 C. flour, sifted

1 t. baking powder

½ t. baking soda

1 t. salt

Stir oats and milk mixture and flour mixture alternately into

butter-sugar-egg mixture. Put batter into 12, greased muffin pan

cups. Bake at 400 degrees for 25 minutes.

Page 108: The Funny Grandma Cookbook · Funny Grandma Cookbook Betty Ann (Crutchfield) Wheat has become known by other names over her life, notably as Grammy. Funny Grandma was assigned to

GRAHAM CRACKER MUFFINS

1 C. graham cracker crumbs (about 16 crackers)

2 T. sugar

pinch of salt

1 egg, beaten

1 t. cinnamon

2 t. baking powder

½ C. milk

2 T. margarine, melted

1 C. nuts, chopped

½ C. currants, raisins or chopped dates

Whirl crackers in blender (or use commercial crumbs; I do that

because it’s easier). Mix with sugar, salt, baking powder and

cinnamon. Add milk, eggs and margarine. Stir just until

blended. Put batter into 12, greased muffin pan cups. Bake at

400 degrees 20 - 25 minutes. These are really good.

Page 109: The Funny Grandma Cookbook · Funny Grandma Cookbook Betty Ann (Crutchfield) Wheat has become known by other names over her life, notably as Grammy. Funny Grandma was assigned to

PUMPKIN MUFFINS

1 egg

¾ C. milk

1 C. canned pumpkin

½ C. vegetable oil

2 C. flour

2 t. each: ground cinnamon, ground nutmeg, ground

cloves

1/3 C. sugar

2 t. baking powder

½ t. salt

½ C. raisins, currants or nuts (optional)

Heat oven to 400 degrees. Grease bottoms of 12 medium

muffin cups. Beat egg, stir in milk, pumpkin and oil. Add in

remaining ingredients all at once and stir just until mixed.

(Batter should be lumpy.) Fill muffin cups and bake about 20

minutes. Remove immediately from pan.

Page 110: The Funny Grandma Cookbook · Funny Grandma Cookbook Betty Ann (Crutchfield) Wheat has become known by other names over her life, notably as Grammy. Funny Grandma was assigned to

SEVEN WEEK BRAN MUFFINS

2 C. 40% bran flakes

2 C. boiling water

1 C. margarine

3 C. sugar

4 eggs, beaten

5 C. flour

5 t. baking soda

1 t. salt

1 qt. buttermilk

4C. Kellogg’s All Bran cereal

Raisins, dates or currants (optional)

Pour boiling water over bran flakes, set aside to cool. Cream

margarine, sugar and eggs. Add cooled bran flakes. Sift

together flour, baking soda and salt. Add buttermilk and All

Bran cereal. Stir to mix with large spoon; do not use mixer.

Cover and store in refrigerator.

When ready to bake, use without stirring. Bake in greased

muffin tins at 375 degrees for 20 minutes. Makes 6 dozen

muffins. Batter will keep for seven weeks.

Page 111: The Funny Grandma Cookbook · Funny Grandma Cookbook Betty Ann (Crutchfield) Wheat has become known by other names over her life, notably as Grammy. Funny Grandma was assigned to

MEXICAN CORN BREAD

1 can creamed corn

¾ c. milk

1/3 c. shortening, melted

2 eggs, beaten

1 C. corn meal

½ t. baking soda

1 t. salt

1 4 oz. can, diced green chilies

1½ C. cheddar cheese, grated

Mix all ingredients. Pour into 9 x 9 inch greased pan (can use

pie pan also). Bake 45 minutes at 400 degrees.

Good with Navy Bean or Albondigas soup. Leftover pieces are

delicious topped with salsa and heated in the Micro. Tastes like

Green Corn Tamales.

Page 112: The Funny Grandma Cookbook · Funny Grandma Cookbook Betty Ann (Crutchfield) Wheat has become known by other names over her life, notably as Grammy. Funny Grandma was assigned to

BREAD STUFFING

(enough for a 20 lb. turkey)

20 C. bread crumbs - french bread is good

2 white or yellow onions, diced

1 bunch celery, thinly sliced (leaves too)

2 sticks (1/2 pound) butter

3-4 C. broth

3-4 T. poultry seasoning

2 t. salt

1 t. pepper

Sauté onions and celery in butter in heated skillet. Sprinkle in

salt, pepper and poultry seasoning. Pour butter mixture over

bread crumbs and toss well. Sprinkle broth over crumbs and

mix again until all crumbs are moist. Pack lightly in turkey.

Any extra dressing can be baked in a casserole covered tightly

with foil.

Page 113: The Funny Grandma Cookbook · Funny Grandma Cookbook Betty Ann (Crutchfield) Wheat has become known by other names over her life, notably as Grammy. Funny Grandma was assigned to
Page 114: The Funny Grandma Cookbook · Funny Grandma Cookbook Betty Ann (Crutchfield) Wheat has become known by other names over her life, notably as Grammy. Funny Grandma was assigned to

Paco and Grammy, Thanksgiving 2008