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The Enneagram Global Summit™ The Enneagram as a Path to Wholeness

Cheryl Richardson Jessica: Welcome everyone. This session is titled "The Enneagram as a Path to

Wholeness," and our faculty is Cheryl Richardson. Cheryl is a New York Times best-selling author and her books include: Take Time for Your Life, Life Makeovers, Stand Up for Your Life, The Unmistakable Touch of Grace, and The Art of Extreme Self-Care. She hosts a lively and engaged online community at cherylrichardson.com and at Facebook.com/cherylrichardson. Cheryl, thank you so much for being with us today.

Cheryl: Thank you, Jessica, for having me. I'm really happy to be here and always happy

to talk to you and to talk about the enneagram. Jessica: Well, that might be a really good place to start, Cheryl. Why is it that you like

talking about the enneagram? Cheryl: Boy, I have to say that I was thinking about this before I even came to this

interview. I was introduced to the enneagram many, many years ago through Helen Palmer's work and then reintroduced to it again probably ten years ago now through Russ and Don's work. It's been, especially in the last ten years, really an integral part of my life and an integral part of my relationships. It's provided a beautiful kind of spiritual framework for how I view the world. And it's taught me a lot about myself and assisted me on my own path to wholeness. And I'm deeply grateful for the teachers and this body of work that has been brought forth. I say to my students and my audiences all the time now that it's so rare to find a tool that you are introduced to where you instantly feel at home, and you instantly feel like you've got something that you can rely on to support you in the evolution of your own consciousness. That's been my experience. It's deepened my relationships. It's deepened my work as a coach. It's deepened my own spiritual practices and my own personal growth work which is primary to me and what's most important to me.

And so that's why I love to talk about it. As much as I think of a type reflecting

the spiritual essence of who someone is, I think of the enneagram as a whole reflecting the spiritual essence of humanity. And I just think that's an awesome thing. I just think it's a really beautiful process for understanding ourselves and each other better. Who doesn't want to talk about that? I just think it's a great conversation. It's a conversation that takes people deeper and I'm somebody who likes that. I like deeper conversations especially as I get older. I have much more of an interest in the kinds of conversations that allow us to understand

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ourselves in a more authentic way on a deeper level. And that just give it a kind of richness and meaning to this crazy existence that we all experience here on this circling, spinning ball, you know. That's my long answer to your brief question.

Jessica: Thank you. And you know, you have this really beautiful phrase where you said,

"You felt that the enneagram as a whole reflects the spiritual essence of humanity." Do you experience that it's all the essence qualities perhaps of the nine types together that is what helps bring people to a path of wholeness like yourself?

Cheryl: Yeah, I always think about us as individuals as sort of the microcosm of existence

and then there's this macrocosm of humanity on earth. And then you could think of earth as a microcosm of an existence that's actually part of this macrocosm of the universe and this infinite universe. I do feel like the enneagram itself is a pathway development, I guess I would say, that begins with the individual. With me on an individual level, when I first began studying the enneagram of course I was very interested in my own type and I'm a type Two. And I was interested in my own type and really exploring what did it mean to be a type Two? What did it mean to grow up as a type Two?

I looked through the lens of the type Two at my life, choices I made, the

challenges I was faced with, the lessons I've learned, the career that I've chosen and the body of work that I've studied. It just always makes me smile to think that my whole, the whole body of work in the first half of my life around self-care and getting your needs met was exactly what I needed to learn as a helper. I was, of course, also very interested in my wings and how that influenced my own development and growth and who I was. Then the instincts came into play. I really took it on in individual level. And I found now ten years later that I think of the enneagram, I think of my individual experience with the enneagram in a more holistic way. I really do see all of the nine types within me. And I actually use the nine types now, the energy of each type to help me grow, to evolve and to more fully embrace the gifts that I've come here to share, the expression. Not just the gifts, but the expression of my own essence in the world. It's gone from that small individual self place to individual type even to, wait a minute. This body of work with its types, its wings, its instincts and all of that, this body of work actually can be a framework for the universe that is me, as well as it is the framework for the universe that holds all of humanity. Does that make sense?

Jessica: Absolutely. So, in that, I assume that you're looking at both the higher aspects of

each type, but also the challenges of each type and the ways that we need to learn to balance the different instincts and the different types in order to, as you put it, be a catalyst for personal and spiritual growth.

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Cheryl: Yeah, you know, when you just said the instincts, so I'm about yes, the types, the challenges each type faces, the gifts that each type has to offer and then we bring in the instincts. There's a way in which I'm going to get a little sort of esoteric here I guess because it's just where I've intuitively feel to go. There's a way in which we know that time is not linear. That it actually really doesn't exist. That there's this multidimensional existence. Everything is happening at once simultaneously. And there's a way in which the study of the enneagram feels so much like that to me, that it's timeless and it happens all at once. And we have to try and think of it in terms of a linear constructive process because we're human beings here in body on planet earth and we got to try and make sense out of it.

I'm taking just a piece of this multidimensional world to speak about right now

and that is in terms of the energy of the types. In my own life, as I've studied each of the types, let me back up and say this. One of the best things I ever did, Jessica, without even realizing that it was going to be a best thing was in the very beginning after a couple of years of studying the enneagram more deeply, I actually invited a colleague and dear friend of mine. Her name is Ellen Wingard. I've mentioned her before on my summit talks. I invited her to my home and I invited several close friends who were interested in the enneagram. They have heard me talk about it and they were like, "What the heck is this thing you keep talking about? We want to learn more."

And Ellen came and she's a beautiful enneagram teacher, very poetic and artistic

and she's a Four. And just beautiful in the way that she captures the essence of the enneagram. And we spent a whole day with her and it turns out we were really lucky that in the room, I think we had just about all nine types covered except for maybe type One. I'm a Two now with the One wing. So, I kind of had it covered a little bit, right? And we spent the whole day with her and she worked with each one of us to understand. It was sort of a basic understanding of our individual types, the challenges, the gifts and all of that. And what was wonderful about that is it gave us all a common dialogue. We were all very close friends. It gave us all a common dialogue. We were all equally fascinated by what we were learning. We were all equally interested in delving more deeply into our individual types, our wings, the instincts and all of that. And it has lived and breathed through us.

[0:10:09] And one of the things that's been really helpful for me is interacting with friends,

close friends of mine who share a common language of the enneagram and who represent the different types. Because it's really brought it to life right in front of my eyes, right in my daily life. And I really recommend that as a practice. It kind of reminds me of when I first started coaching 25 years ago, nobody knew what a coach was. I mean the only thing a coach was a coach for sports team. And there were 10 or 12 of us in the United States that were developing, co-creating

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the curriculum for Coach University at the time. And we would meet every single week on the phone, 10 or 12 of us, and we would coach each other. We would go through the process that we were developing and we really deepened. We steeped in this world called coaching and we really deepened our experience. Confidentially, respecting privacy, we would share cases of clients that we were working with and coach each other through different perspectives. And it was some of the best early training I received. And so today, if I was someone either just beginning to learn about the enneagram or somebody who's been really steeped in your own individual type, I would really invite you to even consider forming some kind of a group where you try to bring in people who reflect the different types and really meet with each other on a regular basis. And talk about yourselves, the challenges you feel faced with and the gifts that you feel, just your life as a type whatever it is.

I think that would be a very practical and I'm a very practical gal. I always say

that. It’s a very practical way to help bring what I'm talking about into physical form, to bring it into our minds, our bodies and our souls so that we can begin to call upon the energy of the nine types. So that's what I do. I've really learned so much about each type through the loving connections I have with close friends of mine. Then, of course, it just trickles down into my professional relationships. A lot of times, if I'm working with a client, if it's appropriate, I'll introduce them to the enneagram. It just opens this whole world. I know you know what I'm talking about, Jessica. I'm sure that you do that. In my own life, I start to pay attention to when is the energy, for example, of type One reflecting itself in my life? What's going on? I might be under stress or I might be, if I think about type One, for example, there are some days I just wake up and I'm so critical of myself. And I've watched myself monitoring my behavior, judging it and then critiquing it.

And I'll just notice, "Oh, okay, the unbalanced part of the type One is really living

and breathing through me right now. And what do I need to do?" Of course, the answer always is first and foremost presence. I feel totally aligned when Russ talks about the fact the enneagram is the study of everything that keeps us from presence. I just think that's such a brilliant perspective and one that I'm sure many of the teachers share. It's really about stopping, breathing and saying, "Okay, what's going on here?" And just noticing that this energy is up for me, is activated in some way. That's what I would say, it's activated. And what do I need to do? How can I love that one part of me more? If I bring the energy of love to this harsh One, what's going to happen? What am I going to do differently? And sometimes it's just talking in a more loving way to myself. I'm a big fan of putting your hand over your heart and having a conversation with whatever part of me is feeling scared, activated and needing to be harsh and critical. Just doing what I can to get into a more balanced state to return to integrity. The gift of the One, I really see, is integrity which is the kind of

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fundamental base of coaching. The other thing that I want to point out that I noticed, and I'm giving One as an example and we can go through the different types, the different nine types. I'm using One as an example right now, but I want to say is this and this goes back to kind of multidimensional perspectives that I was talking about. I also recognize the importance of brain science in this and the fact that each time a type is activated within me, what also gets activated is an old neural network.

There's a way in which I think. There are habits and behaviors that are born from

how I think from the neural programming that is reflective of a particular type. And one of the things I'm also looking at in addition to a practice of presence, I find regardless of what energy is activated in an unhealthy way within me, sitting down for even just ten minutes, set an alarm, getting quiet, turning everything off and just restoring myself to a centered place helps me to notice the old neural networks that have been triggered and the thinking that goes along with that because suddenly I'm not in present time. When these old networks get triggered we're not in present time. We are now reacting from an old pattern or place. I'm very interested in that moment because I've always been fascinated with the brain for a long time. And even more so now, I'm interested in breaking those neural network, breaking that pattern and reforming something new. Really looking at how I speak to myself and what I do differently right now in order to take energy away from that old neural network that's not serving me and give energy to a new neural network that I can form that is going to really help to bring the gifts of that type energy to life within me. Are you with me so far? Does that make sense?

Jessica: It does, absolutely. Cheryl: Okay, I'm inviting those listening to begin to appreciate and to integrate into

their lives the gift that the whole of the nine types has to offer. I do think it's probably important in the beginning to really understand your own type. It's a beautiful path to personal development to understand, "Oh, this is me in a healthy state. This is me when I'm reaching that turning point where I could start to lose energy and lose balance and move down into an unhealthy state." I think that's extremely valuable. And then the next advanced conversation is how do I begin to notice when other types are activated within me and what do I need to do? How do I behave when that happens and where am I moving toward? What am I interested in? What direction do I want to head in terms of getting to the healthier, more balanced place of that type? Did you want to say something?

Jessica: No, so you're actually using the enneagram to invite yourself into expanded

states of behavior. Like you can just sometimes notice for instance maybe the Seven energy is missing in you in a particular situation or you need to use the

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Seven energy to be with a different situation. And then it helps almost like a role model for you. Is that right?

Cheryl: That's right, yeah. It also makes me think of, I assess internal family systems

therapy, right, which is all about recognizing the parts of us that are protecting the old wounds and the young parts of us. In some ways, this is sort of like an enneagram internal family system. So, it is. It's looking at, how can I call upon the energy of certain type at different points in my day or in my life to support me? I talk about the One really. Whenever I'm in this place of judging or being critical towards myself especially, but also towards others. It's my know-it-all place where I just think I've got all the answers. And my tone of voice changes, I'm justifying my behavior, I'm wanting to be right and all of that. I mean that can just wreak havoc in relationships. I especially experienced this in my relationship with my husband. He'll say to me, "Don't One me." And I know exactly what he means and in that moment, it's like, "Okay, wait a second." For me, I think I'll often just sit down and say, "Okay, what am I afraid of here? Where do I need kindness and more tenderness?" And maybe not only for me, but from someone as well. And the case of my husband, I might sit down and say to him, "Let's have a conversation about what I might be afraid of because clearly that's getting activated." I want to get into a more balanced, non-reactive state where I can feel like I can really own the truth of what's going on for me. And in coaching, as I said earlier, we always start with integrity.

[0:20:04] That's how I was trained early on. Where is the client out of integrity in their

lives? Where are they saying yes when they really needed to say no or where are they not handling things that really need to be handled to create a solid foundation? And I may ask myself some of those questions. You might ask yourself some those questions. What do I need to restore my integrity right now to feel more grounded, centered, non-reactive and more loving to myself and others? Self-awareness is so much of this. Just becoming aware, and this is why the enneagram is so powerful. We have a body of work that allows us to become aware of when we are plugged in to old neural networks that do not work.

Jessica: Yes, and unconscious patterns that we didn't even know existed. Cheryl: That's right. That's exactly right. And for the Two, because I am a Two I know this

so well, that the moment I start to feel resentful, angry, unappreciated or just resentful is a big one for me. If I'm feeling just stressed like angry because I've got too much on my plate, let's say, or I'm now trying to figure out, "Okay, how do I get commitment handled while still having some space in between?" And I start to manipulate my schedule even let's say. I know that I need to stop, take a breath, just get into a place of presence. And really for me and I think for a lot of Twos, it's so much about boundaries. Where do I have boundaries in my life that protect my space, my care and my needs? And where do I have boundaries that

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protect other people's space, their care and their needs? And so when I'm feeling short-tempered, irritable or agitated, I know that chances are I'm not taking good care of myself somewhere. And I need to go back to the basics of it too which is, "Wait a minute. What are my needs? What needs are not being met that need to be met? Where do I need to pull back?" I'll do very practical things like open my schedule and say, "Okay, what do I need to cancel this week or what do I need to reschedule?" Often times it's cancel versus reschedule. It was just something I think as a Two I've had to also really learn that an advanced skill is to learn how to sit with wanting something when it's not a good time to have it so that you have more space than you need. And I find as a Two that the more space I have, the more I'm able to come back to that truly loving and compassionate place that has no attachment to it being acknowledged for it or just getting love or whatever. But just that beautiful altruistic place of giving and love and compassion because it just feels so good and it feels so right as a Two.

And then as a Three, I would say for me, well, I would say for me because I feel

so very sensitive to speaking for others. But I would say that even when I think about the clients I've worked with and the people in my own life, the minute you start to experience sort of the performer energy, busy, overdoing, rising to the occasion, trying to triumph, being over the top in some way or it might be talking too much. I'm thinking about some of the clients I've worked with who just overpower people with their doing-ness, their answers and their desire to be seen as the achiever. The minute you get into that energy of being over the top, performing or worshiping at the altar of efficiency, I think it's a time once again to take a deep breath. Notice that that's going on and come back to, "Wait a second." Come back to the body. Come back to feeling. Let me come back to just sitting in the seat of body and noticing what's going on here and connecting to my own inherent worth that exists regardless of anything I say, do or think, but just exists. And those neural networks are really tricky because if you've been a doer, a performer and achiever, always jumping through the next hoop for people, those networks, like a lot of our networks are really well grooved deep and strong. And so that's why self-awareness is what allows us to catch ourselves. And then you can return to a more authentic grounded place. Threes are such gifted communicators when they're able to communicate from that grounded authentic place. And they are incredibly efficient and effective when it's in service to their higher self and not in service to the desire to be appreciated, loved or seen as valuable in some way. So that's the gift of, I think all of the types are visionary in a lot of ways. But some of the Threes that I've worked with, I just see as this incredible people who are able to synthesize a lot of information and are really able to communicate so beautifully and so effectively the vision that they have for their particular line of work, let's say, for their family or whatever it is. And it's rooted in an authentic place. I think that that's so important.

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Type Four, there's a way in which some of the Fours that I know are the most loving, just brilliant, creative and kind people. And there's a way in which the Four energy, when I catch myself being sort of floaty. I'm going to say floaty. That's going to be my new technical term. Floaty Four where it's like this sort of amorphous kind of energy where I don't quite know what's going on. I don't feel grounded. Also falling into fantasy, both negative and positive fantasy. Just this sort of amorphous place of just imagining the worst that could happen or the best that could happen. For me, one of the biggest ways I know the Four energy is so activated is when I feel a deep sort of sense of melancholy or sadness that a part of me just wants to live in. It doesn't want to really get out of or is having a hard time getting out of. I know that I need to especially pay attention to the thoughts that I'm thinking and begin to disengage from them. Disengage from the stories that I'm telling myself, the fantasy of how hard the world is or how harsh the world is for example. And recognize that the real gift, the Four is my growth point, the gift. I know that I'm doing my best work when I can connect with my sensitivity in a grounded way, when I can dive down into that world of emotion, vulnerability and truth and come up with something that I write that is universal. I'm authentically looking at: what's making me melancholy? What's the sadness about? What is it to love about sadness and melancholy, let's say, or to love about the state that I'm in? And how do I not stay down there?

I love when Russ talks about the emotional fondue. How do I not stay down in

that fondue, but instead bring myself up and bring with me wisdom that will serve humanity in some way? That the gift of the Four is to be able to just step outside of themselves at some point. You’ve got to stop and say, "Wait a minute. What's going on here for me? And how can I use what's going on in support of humanity? And up comes this beautiful universal sharing that touches people. I know when I'm in the right Four energy, I'll write a blog for example. Every Sunday I write a blog and I talk about my own life, a story from my life, a story from someone's life that I've been involved with or something that happened that becomes a metaphor for our growth or our spiritual development. I can get plugged into that Four energy. I'll know that I'm on the right track. I can feel my heart fully in it. I'll know when I type a line or two that that's the healthy Four that's creating art that will serve humanity because it's true and it's unfettered by my own, floaty yuckiness. Yuckiness isn't really what I want to say, but that kind of heaviness. That's what I want to say. It's unfettered by the heaviness and instead it's become this jewel that speaks to people. And then I will get feedback with others and I know it's not a common occurrence, but now and then I'll produce a blog where I know I'm tapping my growth points there. I will get feedback from people that will affirm exactly what my experience is. "Thank you so much. That really touched a deep place in me," or, "That's something that I've been feeling and thinking about for a long time. And it's good to know I'm not alone." That sort of thing happens.

[0:30:16]

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Jessica: I'm really loving this perspective that you're bringing to everyone, Cheryl, that they can watch their behavior, how they're doing different things or reacting to different things in their life. And actually identify it as coming from the energy emotional structure and neural pathways of a particular type. And then the enneagram gives them tools and a pathway to work with that to transform it. It's a wonderful model, thank you.

Cheryl: You're welcome. And I would encourage people. What I've done and I did it even

for this talk is I just took a giant piece of paper and I put two columns: gift and growth. I numbered one through nine. I looked and I said, "Okay, if we look at the growth point, how do I know when I'm being called to grow from that type energy?" And then you just write down whatever occurs to you. And then what gifts will I return to when I practice presence and when I address these qualities or characteristics that are getting activated when I'm being invited to grow? Then I'll list the gifts under the gift side. I can go through this list and say for example that if I look at the One, and I find that out of the list, I can circle words. I can say for the One, for example, is self-critical for me. That's the way my One energy really gets activated. For Two, resentful. That's how I know I'm in an unbalanced state. Three, performer. I'm performing instead of connecting or I'm just performing mindlessly, unconsciously and I need to just pull back and stop myself. And so I think that that's another great exercise that you can just take a piece of paper and make the two columns. List how that energy is activated in your life when you're being called to grow and what will happen as a result. If you answer the call, how will the gifts begin to reflect themselves? And then circle words for each one. That can be just a great reminder, kind of like a trigger word to remind you of the importance of, most of all, getting your butt in the chair and being quiet for ten minutes at least.

Let's move on to the Five and this is interesting. I'm married to a Five. I've said

that before. And this is what's been so helpful is I have a front row seat into the gifts that the Five has to offer me. And I literally go to my husband, Michael, and say to him, "Honey, I just had a situation yesterday, a very difficult situation." I said to him, "I need your Five perspective here because I'm a Two and I know that I'm in this too deep. Can you really help me?" I know that with the Five energy, there's an invitation for growth. The Five energy is being activated when I want to isolate, when I want to resist help, when I feel cut-off from the world, when I'm feeling scared and feeling this need for comfort in a smaller world unless an engaged part of me wants to just kind of stay home in my little favorite room or just isolate in some way. I know that that energy comes up for me big time when I'm dealing with things. If I'm not feeling well, I go right into that Five energy of just put me in a room by myself. Then of course I move into the Four energy which is, "Oh, my gosh. I start catastrophizing. What's going on?" And then I have to say, "Okay, get out of that fondue." That's the isolating. I know that when I learn to just breathe, reach out and have conversations with others

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about what's going on, get different perspectives and be open to receiving help that I feel more connected. I feel more compassionate toward myself, like the high level of the Five. I gain access to wisdom. I think that I love Five. I have not a lot of Fives in my life, but I have a handful of Fives that I just love spending time with. In a balanced state, they're just so incredibly intuitive, compassionate and able to tap into the collective unconscious and bring down wisdom that is so good for individuals and also for humanity. I think those are very powerful and attractive qualities. Those are the gifts of the Five that we can experience within ourselves.

[0:35:13] And the Six, I often laugh. As a tri-type, I'm a Two, One, Six. I like Sixes. Let me

just say that. I like the Six energy too. I know that, and again and I think about the Sixes in my life who, boy, if I need, a Six in a balanced state or if I need constructive feedback that will be delivered respectfully. If I need grounding or if I need good solid advice, I'm going to my Sixes. I know that my Six energy is activated. There's an invitation for growth when I'm feeling anxious or pessimistic. When I'm afraid, and this can show up in everyday life. I have somebody coming to do a major project on my home and I'm so afraid. Okay, are they going to do a good job? Are they really the right people? Are they going to overcharge me? I start to get a little paranoid about that. And then I just laugh and say, "Okay, sweetheart. Let the Six take a nap. Just take a breath here." The Six is going to say, "I'm going to get grounded, I'm going to get clear, I'm going to get a few quotes, I'm going to gather all the information I need and I'm going to make a plan. And then eventually I'm just going to execute that plan. And I'm not going to let the fear, the concern or the paranoia run me." I call upon the Six energy when I need to go into my office and clear my desk or to get things handled, I call upon that Six energy. I get into a balanced state and I really see myself as this very grounded, practical, focused woman at my desk who's going to get things handled. I think it's also really good to look at how we call, like I call upon my One energy if I'm going out. Honestly if I'm going out to shop for something for the house, there's a beauty, elegance and refinedness to that One energy where you can find the perfect thing that will just make a room beautiful. It's interesting to also think about how we call upon the different energies to support us in some way.

For the Seven, I am so aware of the Seven energy in my life as a young girl

growing up when I always felt like, people were having way more fun than I was, there were exciting things happening out there and I just had to find them. And the Seven energy will get activated for me sometimes like on a holiday weekend when most of me wants to just sit, hang out, chill and relax. But there's a part of me going, "Oh but you could do this, you could do that and this might be happening. And you could see these people." There's a restlessness about the Seven energy that when the Seven is activated, there can be this sense of restlessness or this search for the next new shiny thing. Sometimes the Seven

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energy is activated and I know I'm being indulgent in a way that's not good for me. And yet as a Two with the One wing, I call upon the Seven energy a lot because I know that the gift of the Seven is it brings me aliveness. It lightens me up. It makes me deeply grateful for so much in the world that I see. The Seven energy is the gift of spontaneity. And I very intentionally will do things spontaneously. I'll call upon that Seven energy and decide, "I'm just going to go take a break in the middle of the day and do something completely out of the ordinary.” And I know that the gift of that energy is I'm going to feel more alive, more connected and more just having fun and laughing. I mean there's this beautiful kind of vibrant aliveness that the Seven brings that we all benefit from. And so that's the other interesting thing to look at is just like and I'm going back to the multidimensional perspective. Just like the instincts that there's a call to balance the instincts in our lives. Like that's how we come into balance with the balance of the instincts. I think there's a call to balance the types so that depending on what your primary type is, we were looking at some of the other types. And I've done this actually over a year all focused on developing Five energy and Seven energy. And maybe another year I'll focus more on the Eight energy and the Four energy. Just really noticing what are some of the energies that you would really benefit from calling upon that even are outside of your growth type or the type that you move towards growth.

[0:40:27] That's a Seven. And the Eight, again as a Two, Eight is where I go into stress. I

know that the minute I've got too much energy behind something and I'm too loud, I'm too articulate or I've got a tone about me. I just want to move fast. I want to do things too quickly. When I've got too much energy, I know that I need to stop and get centered. I'm too abrupt. When we're just scared and quick to act boastful or willful in some way. If I feel like I need to prove myself so I'm suddenly finding myself listing off some of my accomplishments that I feel somehow worthy of the position that I'm in, the meeting that I'm in or whatever. I know, "Okay, wait a second. Take a breath. Step back. You're just scared. You're getting activated." And you want to move into the more vulnerable, assertive instead of aggressive, more assertive energy of the Eight where I can be more grounded, visionary and more able to be there for others in the right way. And to be direct and clear, but in a loving and compassionate way and in a way that invites people in instead of pushes people away. And there's a word, I don't even know if this is the right word, but I heard Helen Palmer use this word once and I loved this word. And when I think of the best of Eights, I see this in Eights. The Eight's ability to potentiate others. Do you know if that's a real word?

Jessica: Well, we're all using it so we're making it a word! Cheryl: Oh, good, then I love that! I love that. I'm glad because I think of myself even as a

coach that I can call upon. There were times when I'm coaching where I will call upon that beautiful Eight, that magnanimous, loving, compassionate, big Eight

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energy to really help potentiate others. And I have been a grateful recipient. I have a dear friend of mine who's an Eight. And I'm telling you, she's one of my, in times of, particularly in my work arena, the times where I may waver, feel a bit insecure or just not owning my power, she just comes right in like wind beneath my wings, lifts me up and supports me with the language and the actions needed to take. I feel so potentiated by her. And to me that's the beauty of the Eight energy as well. That's what we return to. It's finding that balance between that abrupt, hard, aggressive energy versus bringing in the love and bringing in the presence. And that it being more sort of like that solid, grounded, divine mother kind of energy.

And then there's the Nine, the beautiful Nine. I know that Nine energy is

happening the minute I start disassociating from whatever is going on. If I start to check out or tune out. I think about some of the relationships I was in before I was married where I fell in love with the fantasy of what could be instead of the reality of what was. I was in relationship, I should say, with the fantasy of what could be in that relationship instead of being connected to the reality of what is. And when I catch myself getting lost, tuning out or also I'm going along just to keep the peace. And really overriding my own desires and my own needs to keep the peace. I know that there is an invitation to take a deep breath, to step back and to say, "Okay, wait a minute." Especially with the Nine, presence to me, is like mainlining power to a Nine. Because it invites self-awareness. It reminds them that they actually really do matter. I don't know about you, Jessica, but some of the Nines in my life, I have one Nine who's one of my closest friends. I swear, if I need a piece of wisdom, this is the woman I'm going to go to.

[0:45:16] And we'll go hiking together and we'll spend an hour hiking. All of a sudden in

the middle of that hike, one simple sentence will come out of her mouth and I'll be like, "Holy mackerel! That's the answer to like this last month's question." Of course, we're hiking and we're present in the moment. So being present. I think also the gift of the Nine, doing something creative, imaginative or something that inspires the Nine. I think Nines are such healers. They become even greater healers as they give themselves permission to take space for themselves, to heal themselves and to give themselves the gift of time and attention for their own creative desires. This gift of just creating this peaceful serene environment that is born from important boundaries that are in place so that their own needs are a priority. That they exist and they matter and they don't just write themselves off in service to other people's needs.

I hope that you can get a sense as I speak about this that just get a feel for how

we can begin to really see the activation of each of the energy, each of the types and the energy of each type in our own life. And really looking at what are the gifts that that type and what's the strength of that type that I can call upon to support me in my life right now?

Cheryl Richardson | June 6, 2017 | p. 13

Jessica: It was wonderful how you just said in the last minute, to activate the gifts of

each type in our life. Because I think so often people don't connect the actual patterns and emotions of the gift of each type to actually putting it into action. Like how do you operationalize it? And I really, for myself, Cheryl, I definitely have found that my personal growth and my spiritual development has exponentially increased by having the solid awareness of these nine different ways of being and these nine ways of forgetting who we are. It's almost like a checks and balance system. I can kind of almost go around in any given moment that I'm either expanding or contracting and say, "What's showing up and what's missing to that place of wholeness?" For me, it's been very profound. And for you to have taken the time to articulate this through people as kind of a role modeling, almost modeled, I think is a real gift to this summit. And I really want to thank you for that.

Cheryl: Well, thank you. Thank you, Jessica. It's a good reminder. I think what you just

said also is just so important that it's so easy to forget ourselves and really what I'm saying is let's remember all of ourselves, all parts of ourselves. The profound gift of the enneagram is to help return us to wholeness. As we integrate the energies of each of these types, we really do allow ourselves to operate from a place of wholeness more and more frequently in our everyday lives. So, blessings to you and to everyone listening. Thank you, I appreciate being able to share this with all of you.

Jessica: And we are very grateful to you, Cheryl. © 2017 The Shift Network. All rights reserved.