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The Compassionate Friends
Northern Virginia and DC Chapters
Arlington, Fairfax, Leesburg, Prince William,
Reston, Virginia and Washington, DC
VOLUME 20 , NO. 5 JUNE 2011
The mission of The Compassionate Friends is to assist families in the positive resolution of
grief following the death of a child and to provide information to help others be supportive.
Register Now for the
TCF National Conference
July 15-17, 2011
Minneapolis/St. Paul, Minnesota Compassionate Friends national conferences have always been a great healing experience for bereaved families and TCF’s 34th National Conference, to be held July 15-17, 2011, in Minneapolis/St. Paul, Minnesota, will be no exception. Our members can register for the conference online or by downloading a conference registration brochure from the national website. If you don’t have Internet access, you can call the National Office at 877-969-0010 to be sent the registration brochure.
For full information, visit TCF’s National Website at www.compassionatefriends.org and click on TCF
2011 National Conference—Minneapolis under News & Events.
Bereaved Parents of the USA
2011 National Gathering
This event will be held July 28-31 in Reston, VA at
the Sheraton Reston Hotel near Dulles
International Airport. For additional information,
go to www.bereavedparentsusa.org.
FROM THE EDITOR:
The Washington Post recently published a feature article about “The Sisters of Maine” regarding the two Republican Senators from that state, Olympia Snowe and Susan Collins. The lives and careers of these remarkable women were chronicled in detail. I could not help but note that Senator Snowe has lived a life drenched in tragedy. She lost her mother to breast cancer when she was eight years old. Her father died the following year. She grew up attending boarding school and spending summers and holidays with a widowed aunt who was raising five children of her own. Her first husband, Peter Snowe, was killed in an automobile accident three years after they were married. Twenty years later, she married again and became devoted to her stepson, her husband’s only child. Within two years, her stepson died suddenly at the age of 20 from an undetected heart condition. According to the Post article, “his is the one death that Snowe says still haunts her.”
How astonishing. This accomplished, respected, productive woman — who has suffered a disproportionate amount of grief and loss — is most haunted by the loss of her stepson. I find that incredible. It validates my belief that those of us who lose a child are called to withstand the most difficult loss of all. ~Peggi Johnson
Inside this issue:
Calendar and Contacts 2
Fairfax Chapter 3
Arlington Chapter 4
Leesburg Chapter 6
Prince William Chapter 7
Reston Chapter 8
Washington, DC Chapter 9
Our Children Remembered 10
National resource information will appear in the combined July/August issue of this newsletter.
Page 2 The Compassionate friends • Northern Virginia and DC June 2011
JUNE 2011 MEETINGS
June 1 (first Wednesdays)
7:30 PM Fairfax Chapter
7:30 PM Leesburg Chapter
June 9(second Thursdays)
7:30 PM Arlington Chapter
June 11 (second Saturdays)
2-4 PM TCF Reston
June 15(third Wednesdays)
7-9 PM Washington DC Chapter
June 16 (third Thursdays)
7:30 PM Prince William Chapter
Arlington Chapter
Contact: Lois Copeland
(301) 530-1115
Trinity Presbyterian Church
5533 N.16th St
Arlington, VA
Second Thursdays 7:30 PM
Please send
“Love Gifts” to:
Kent Womack
1013 Riverside Dr.
Woodstock, VA 22664
Fairfax Chapter
Contact: Carol Marino
or Diane Burakow
Chapter Phone:
(703) 622-3639
OLD ST.MARY’S HALL,
next to St. Mary’s Historic
Church and Cemetery
Fairfax Station Rd
and Route 123
Fairfax, VA 22030
First Wednesdays 7:30 PM
Please send
“Love Gifts” to:
Monica Clark
5444 Ladue Lane
Fairfax, VA 22030
Attn: TCF
Leesburg Chapter
Contact: Bev or Bernie Elero
(540) 882-9707
St. James Episcopal Church
Janney Parlor
14 Cornwall St NW
Leesburg, VA
First Wednesdays 7:30 PM
Please send
“Love Gifts” to:
Mrs.Anne Shattuck
224 Walnut Ridge Ln.
Palmyra, VA 22963
Prince William
Chapter
Contact: Ken Adams
(703) 361-6574
Grace United Methodist Church
Library, 2nd Floor
9750 Wellington Rd
Manassas, VA
Third Thursdays 7:30 PM
Please send
“Love Gifts” to:
Melody Ridgeway
9366 Dahlia Ct.
Manassas, VA 20110
TCF Reston (for no surviving children)
Contact:
Nancy Vollmer (VA)
(703) 860-8587
Sharon Skarzynski (MD)
(410) 757-5049
North County Gov Bld.
Reston Police Station Bld.
12000 Bowman Towne Drive
Reston, VA
Second Saturdays 2-4 PM
(for no surviving children)
Washington, DC
Chapter
Contact: Olivia Gunter
(301) 552-2798
The Howard University
The Blackburn Center
2397 Sixth Street, NW
Washington, DC 20059
Third Wednesdays 7-9 PM
Please send
“Love Gifts” to:
Coralease Ruff
3314 Applegrove Ct.
Oak Hill, VA 20171
NEWSLETTER TEAM
Editor
Peggi Johnson
Database Manager
Brenda Sullivan
Treasurer
Kent Womack
1013 Riverside Drive
Woodstock, VA 22664
Reporters
Arlington
Lois Copeland
Fairfax
Katy Frank, [email protected]
District of Columbia
Michelle Lake, [email protected]
Leesburg
Bridget Elero
Prince William
Jennifer Clark
Reston
Kathy Grapski, [email protected]
Regional Coordinator
Kathy Collins
4505 Rachael Manor Drive
Fairfax, VA 22032
TCF National Headquarters
PO Box 3696
Oak Brook IL 60522-3696 http://www.compassionatefriends.org
(877) 969-0010 (Toll-Free)
Arlington Website
http://www.tcfarlington.org
Webmaster: Mary M.Bell
Fairfax Website
www.tcffairfax.org
Leesburg Website
http://www.tcfleesburg.org
Prince William Website
http://www.tcfprincewilliam.org
Page 3 The Compassionate friends • Northern Virginia and DC June 2011
Welcome to our new members
We welcome our new families with open arms:
Michael P. Kimble
of Ft. Myer, VA, father of Hana Kimble
Ana Lowder
of Alexandria, VA, mother of Tera Lowder
Donna Xander
of McLean, VA, sister of Mark Xander
It was a gorgeous, sunny day for the annual Mother's Day Butterfly Release. We released 136 of these beautiful
creatures on the grounds of Historic St. Mary's in honor of all deceased children and for the TCF Fairfax Chapter members who participated to honor their own child.
Thanks to all parents, grandparents, siblings and friends who attended this year, it was a great turn out!
A butterfly lights beside us like a sunbeam, and for a brief moment, its glory and
beauty belongs to our world.
But then it flies on again, and although we wish it
would have stayed, we feel blessed to have seen it.
A LETTER TO AIDAN ON MOTHER’S DAY
By Katy Frank
Dear Sweet Aidan,
I woke this morning to your brother and sister’s hugs and kisses. All was right with the world. And, then, reality set in, the world isn’t right, not in the least. I miss you as much today as I have missed you every day for the last 2 ½ years. And, Mother’s Day just reminds me that a piece of my heart is missing. I say good morning to you every day and good night
to you when I go to sleep, I long to give you a hug and a kiss and to see your sweet smile. But, for now, I have to manage knowing that you are with my mom and dad and that you send me your hugs and kisses in different ways. I remember this poem that I read at your funeral. It breaks my heart and also brings me some peace. For, I will live with this grief until I see you again, but I was blessed to have you even for a short while. I miss you my sweet boy, I love you!!
I’LL LEND YOU A CHILD
"I'll lend you for a little time a child of mine," He said, For you to love the whole while he lives. He may be six or seven years or twenty two or three, But will you till I call him back Take care of him for me?
He'll bring his charm to gladden you And should his stay be brief,
You'll have his lovely memories As solace for your grief.
I cannot promise he will stay Since all from earth return, But there are lessons taught down there I want this child to learn
I've looked this wide world over In my search for teachers true,
And from the things that crowd life's lane I have selected you
Now will you give him all your love Not through the labor vain Nor hate me when I come to call And take him back again.
I fancied that I heard them say "Dear Lord, Thy will be done,"
For all the joy the child shall bring The risk of grief will run.
We'll shelter him with tenderness We'll love him while we may, And for the happiness we have known Forever grateful stay.
But should the angels call for him Much sooner than we planned
We'll brave the bitter grief that comes And try to understand.
- Edgar Guest
Page 4 The Compassionate friends • Northern Virginia and DC June 2011
One Mother’s Reaction to the Death of Her Son
I was listening to NPR‟s All Things Considered several
weeks ago. They were reporting on a story titled, “One
Marine‟s Journey: Activism, Then Tragedy”. I listened
intently to this tragic story of a young marine, Clay W.
Hunt, who heroically served both in Iraq and Afghanistan.
He was discharged in 2009 and after several months was
diagnosed with PTSD. Clay received treatment and
reached out to other veterans by appearing in the award-
winning public service announcement by the Iraq and
Afghanistan Veterans of America.
Clay‟s PTSD symptoms were unrelenting. He died by
suicide March 31, 2011. My heart skipped a beat. How
awfully sad I felt. Then I listened to a statement by his
mother, Susan Selke, “I have many strong feelings about
what happened to my son. Mostly, I am so proud of him.”
She goes on and says, “We choose to look at it that he is
now in a very peaceful state, in a very peaceful place, and
we‟re thankful for that. And we‟re going to miss him
terribly.” His mother actually sounded at peace, without a
sign of anger. This interview took place April 21, three
weeks following her son‟s death.
I found myself thinking, “How would I sound and what
would I say when being interviewed by the reporter?”
When I got home I went on the internet to find additional
information on Clay Hunt and his family.
The Houston Chronicle reported that when he didn‟t show
up for work or answer the phone his mother drove to his
apartment. The EMT‟s found his body. Clay‟s mother
said, “I remember sliding down the wall and just sitting
there and pressing my back to the wall as hard as I could
because I thought this is as close as I‟ll ever be to him
again”. She went on, “I can‟t hug him, I can‟t kiss him, I
can‟t say „I love ya‟ I can‟t touch him again.”
“In my mind, he is a casualty of war,” Hunt‟s mother told
CNN in April. “But he died here instead of over there. He
died as a result of his war experience. He suffered from
survivor‟s guilt.”
I asked myself, “is early grief different when your child‟s
death is publicized and you are interviewed and quoted in
the news?” Does that delay grief? These questions stayed
with me. All I can say is that we all grieve differently.
Circumstances of our child‟s death, our own personality
and family support all play a role in our initial reaction to
our loss and grief‟s long journey. ~Lois Copeland
June
Just like most months, June, has many bittersweet
moments for bereaved families who lost their child,
sibling or grandchild. Special times include Father‟s
Day, graduation, the school year ending, weddings
and summer vacation. These are reminders that our
child is gone. As with every special time, plan ahead
and do what is best for you, not what others think you
should do.
~Lois Copeland, TCF Arlington, VA~
It is so hard to “Welcome” family members to our
meetings for the first time because we are so very
sorry for the reason you are here.
April Meeting—Kendal Schweizer, lost her daughter
Madeleine Grace McGregor, January 2011.
May Meeting—
Sarah Gray, lost her son, Thomas Gray, March 2010
Michael Kimble lost his daughter, Hana, April 2011.
Even if it was sad or painful to attend our meeting,
please come again, it will get easier.
Page 5 The Compassionate friends • Northern Virginia and DC June 2011
When Fathers Weep at Graves
I see them weep
The fathers at the stones
Taking off the brave armor
Forced to wear in the work place
Clearing away the debris
With gentle fingers
Inhaling the sorrow
Diminished by anguish
Their hearts desiring
What they cannot have—
To walk hand in hand
With children no longer held—
To all the fathers who leave
A part of their hearts
At the stones
May breezes underneath
Trees of time ease their pain
As they receive healing tears
…the gift the children give.
~Alice J. Wisler
To All Fathers I hope you have a peaceful and gentle
Father’s Day. Try to remember the happy memories
your child brought into your life.
I do not believe that sheer suffering teaches. If
suffering alone taught, all the world would be wise,
since everyone suffers. To suffering must be added
mourning, understanding, patience, love, openness,
and the willingness to remain vulnerable.
~Anne Morrow Lindbergh
WHERE DOES THE SISTER COME IN?
My brother was killed. He was murdered for no
reason at all.
My pain is so sharp, so close. But THEY think I
shouldn‟t be suffering as much…as much as his wife,
who grieves for her love and her future. As much as
his son, who will never know his daddy. As much as
his parents, who have lost their only son, their first-
born child.
I have lost my closest friend; the man I admired most
in my world; the person I spent most of my free time
with – only for the company; the person I played
Yahtzee with until 2 am, knowing I‟d beat him soon;
the boy I grew up with and followed around
constantly; the love that only a brother and sister can
know; the respect he had for me; the talks and the
personal jokes. I have lost my brother. I hurt just as
much.
~Bridgette Huard~
To fashion an inner story of our pain carries us into
the heart of it, which is where rebirth inevitably
occurs. ~Sue Monk Kidd
Love Gifts
Rhea and Dale Killinger, in loving memory of their
son,
Thomas Phillips
Barbara and John Murphy, in loving memory of
their son,
Richard S. Murphy
From the Combined Federal Campaign:
Kathy Collins, in loving memory of her daughter,
Tiffanie Amber Collins
Stephen M. Reece, in loving memory of his
daughter, Andrea Dawn Reece
Patricia Robertson, in loving memory of her
daughter,
Suzanne Elizabeth Robertson
And we thank three anonymous donors
Page 6 The Compassionate friends • Northern Virginia and DC June 2011
The Many Gifts You Gave Me By Susan Cleveland, Leesburg, VA (In memory of my son Christopher Cleveland 9-15 to 6-24)) You gave me the gift of sight Through this gift I was able to see the world of disabilities through your eyes You gave me the gift of courage With that courage I went back to college to learn to teach children with disabilities You gave me the gift of listening when your speech became slurred. With that gift I was able to listen to others with speech impairments You gave me the gift of patience With that patience I began my work with children with special needs You gave me the gift of kindness To treat people of all abilities with kindness You gave me the gift of love When you were little it was hugs and kisses and as an adult your Mother’s Day letter You gave me the gift of generosity With the gift of the generosity we established Christopher Michael Cleveland Memorial Fund to further research in epilepsy, alopecia, and to support others with life altering disabilities Love Always, Mom
A Letter to Kayleigh
Dear Kayleigh,
We’re coming up on another anniversary. It will be two
years on June 10th since you were taken from us. It’s hard
to believe that it’s been that long since I’ve seen your
beautiful smile, that you’ve taken my hand in yours, that
you’ve kissed the top of my head, that I’ve heard your
laughter and enjoyed our conversations. These are the
things that I miss the most, that I would give anything to
have back in my life. I know I talk to you all the time, but
unfortunately it’s all one-sided. I long for the days when
you would give me your opinion and I would either think
you were absolutely right or I would just laugh it off. I
often wonder how you would deal with issues I’m
struggling with. Am I making the right decisions or am I
totally off the wall? I hope you are steering me in the right
direction.
I’m sure you’ve noticed I’m in the anger stage of my grief.
I’m short-tempered and usually don’t hesitate to let my
feelings loose. This has put me in a very difficult position.
I try to refrain from losing my temper, but I find that I just
don’t care. Things that mattered to me in the past are just
not important anymore. Everything seems so trivial. I’ve
lost my child, how could anything else matter? I’ve talked
to you about this many times, how I hate being angry and
how I wish I could just let things go. I find it impossible. I
wonder how I’ll handle both of your sisters moving. It’s
not like I see them every day or every week for that
matter. But it’s the fact that they are here and if I need to
see them, I can. I guess I need to learn to be more
independent and stop depending on them for their advice
and support. One thing I do know is I have their love.
It’s been two years…everyone keeps telling me it will get
easier, it will never get better, just easier. I wait for that
day. In the meantime, I will keep talking to you, kissing
your picture as I do every day, missing you and most of all,
loving you.
You will remain forever in my heart…Mom
Debbie Plamandon, Leesburg, VA TCF
A Father’s Prayer
I am a man, God, and I have been taught that I should be
strong and show no weaknesses. My wife needs me to be
strong; I cannot and I must not be weak and lean on her.
It is only with you that I can be honest, Lord and even
with you I am ashamed to admit it, but I want to cry. I
can feel the tears securely dammed up behind my eyes
that want to burst. There is a voice in me that shouts. BE
STRONG! BE A MAN! SHOW NO WEAKNESS! SHED
NO TEARS! But there is another voice inside that speaks
softly and somehow I feel it is your voice, Father.
Is it you who tells me that I am also a feeling human being
who can cry if I need to? Is it your voice that tells me that
maybe my wife needs the tenderness of my tears more
than she needs the strength of my muscles? You are right,
Lord, as always. My wife needs to see my grief, she needs
to feel the dampness of my tears and know the aching in
my heart. Then, just as we became one to create this life,
we become one in our grief which mourns this death. I
think I understand now, Lord, it is in sharing the awful
pain of my grief that I become an even stronger man. It is
in sharing my tears that I share my true strength.
O God, help me, communicate my deepest and most
sensitive feelings to my wife so we may become whole
together.
Norman Hagley, TCF, Omaha, Nebraska
A Warm Welcome
Aparna Raghavan and Panneer Perumal, parents of Aadhav Selvam
Page 7 The Compassionate friends • Northern Virginia and DC June 2011
YOUR COMPASSIONATE FRIEND
by Steven L. Channing
I can tell by that look friend, that you need to talk, So come take my hand and let's go for a walk. See, I'm not like the others - I won't shy away,
Because I want to hear what you've got to say.
Your child has died and you need to be heard, But they don't want to hear a single word. They tell you your child's "with God", so be strong.
They say all the "right" things that somehow seem wrong.
They're just hurting for you and trying to say, They'd give anything to help take your pain away. But they're struggling with feelings they can't understand
So forgive them for not offering a helping hand.
I'll walk in your shoes for more than a mile. I'll wait while you cry and be glad if you smile. I won't criticize you or judge you or scorn,
I'll just stay and listen 'til your night turns to morn.
Yes, the journey is hard and unbearably long, And I know that you think that you're not quite that strong. So just take my hand 'cause I've got time to spare,
And I know how it hurts, friend, for I have been there.
See, I owe a debt you can help me repay For not long ago, I was helped the same way. As I stumbled and fell thru a world so unreal,
So believe when I say that I know how you feel.
I don't look for praise or financial gain And I'm sure not the kind who gets joy out of pain. I'm just a strong shoulder who'll be here 'til the end-
I'll be your Compassionate Friend.
Newly Bereaved… Thoughts for you when you get depressed:
Don’t ever try to understand everything—some things will just never make
sense. Don’t ever be reluctant to show your feelings—when you’re happy, give in
to it. Don’t ever be afraid to try to make things better—you might be surprised at
the results. There is always somebody there for you to reach out to. Don’t ever forget that you can achieve so many of the
things you can imagine, imagine that! Don’t ever stop loving.
Don’t ever stop believing. Don’t ever stop dreaming your dreams.
TCF, Orange Coast, CA
Father’s Day By Sascha Wagner from her book “Wintersun”
Warm and sunny day in June
Father’s Day Children, small and grown
Give gifts to father Say thanks to father
Say I Love You. But there are fathers
Whose children are not her To give gifts and say thanks
And say I Love you. Remember the fathers
Whose children are gone, Because they always will be
Fathers at heart.
Graduation Time By Peggy Gibson, TCF Nashville, TN
It’s June and graduation time again. Your child would have been among those wearing the cap and gown, walking down the aisle to the ever stirring ―Pomp and Circumstance‖. Now there is a vacant spot in the line. Should you attend? Can you stand the pain? Will people think you are strange? As always you must follow your heart. So, go if you’d like to and don’t hide your tears. It’s quite all right to miss your own child while celebrating the achievements of others. Just remember: That your instincts are the most important ones; that no one else can make this decision for you, and that it doesn’t really matter what other people think. It was your child who died. This is your pain and you have the right to feel it and deal with it in your own way – and may a bit more healing take place in the doing.
Page 8 The Compassionate friends • Northern Virginia and DC June 2011
WELCOME: Our Chapter would like to welcome Steve Tickner, whose daughter, Sierra Grace, passed away last November 2010. We would also like to welcome Kitty Smith who has had multiple losses and attended one of our meetings. We look forward to seeing both of you again. Mother’s Day Twenty-two members enjoyed getting together at Alfio’s Restaurant in Chevy Chase, MD for a wonderful Mother’s Day dinner. They had a private room and enjoyed talking about and toasting their children and spending time with each other. Thanks to Jeff Petrino for making the arrangements. Father’s Day is just around the corner. To all the Dads out there that keep the stiff upper lip and a strong shoulder for their wives to cry on…this is your day to sit back and remember your son or daughter and all the wonderful times you had together although cut too short. Let’s hope you will smile with the memory of those happy times.
F.A.T.H.E.R.S.
"F" aithful.
"A" lways there.
"T" rustworthy.
"H" onoring.
"E" ver-loving.
"R" ighteous.
"S" upportive.
June June brings thoughts of the school year ending, warm weather, vacations and weddings. Wedding showers can be very hard to attend because you are sort of stuck in one chair and talking all about the upcoming wedding as well as other weddings that may have just occurred. Many times there is no need to explain why you can’t attend, just email them back or call the RSVP line during the day when they might be at work and say you are so sorry but won’t be able to make the shower but will be sending a gift. Receiving a wedding invitation can bring a lot of anxiety. We will not ever have the opportunity to be parents of the bride or groom. It can be a struggle to decide if we should attend or not. I think it was three years after Lauryn’s death before Ed and I attended a wedding, which was very difficult. Over the years we have found some things that have helped us. At church we sit in one of the back rows behind the crowd on the aisle, that way if we feel we need to leave we can slip out and no one knows because they are all looking up front. When we are at the reception we find it is easier if we just step out of the room when the bride and her Dad and the groom and his Mom are going to have that special dance, or maybe for the cake cutting or whatever might take you to that edge of being comfortable. Everyone is watching the bride and groom and they don’t notice that you come and go or that you leave early. You must do whatever you are comfortable with and you can’t worry about what others may think or say. Kathy Grapski
Contact Kathy @ specialkmg@ aol.com or 301-253-
5509 if you would like to put a poem or article on this
page. Deadline is the 10th of each month.
Page 9 The Compassionate friends • Northern Virginia and DC June 2011
JOY COMES IN THE MORNING
TO
DARRIN J. STUBBS
W ell, Darrin, here we are in year 8 of the journey. I
call it a journey because learning to live without
your physical presence is akin to taking a trip to a
foreign land and having no idea of how to speak the
language, read the street signs, nor how to get around.
Despite the fact that I am still very much lost, what I
have learned in those 8 years is that the concept of time
for me has taken on a whole new meaning. Recently, I
have been drawn to the Biblical verse “Weeping may
endure for a night, but joy cometh in the morning”
Psalms 30:5 and I have gained great insight and hope
for the future from these words. Going back to the
concept of time, “my night” of
weeping has for me taken 8
years and “my morning” is
just now within view.
Although there are times
when I still intensely grieve
for you and what your loss
means to our family, I find
that I am coming into the
daylight of hope—hope that
we can still have a wonderful rest of our lives. What I
now experience is transitioning from weeping over your
physical absence (for you are always here in spirit) to
openly embracing the “joy” of your having been here
and what that has meant for all of us—specifically how
you so greatly enriched all of our lives while you graced
us with your presence. When you first left us I thought
that if I dared to envision a life with laughter I would
be dishonoring you. I now understand that if our lives
are the sum of our experiences and you are without a
doubt, the star player in this movie called life, then to
continue on this journey means that you will never be
left out of the script. So, we do move along but you very
much move with us and this revelation has brought me
the “joy that cometh in the morning”. While I know
that I will have many days when I will continue to weep
I now understand that it is equally alright to have just
as many days of joy and laughter. What I also found is
that most often it is the retelling of stories about you
that brings forth the “joy that cometh in the morning”.
You are forever loved and forever missed and I am so
blessed and grateful for the gift of you.
PEACE,
VERONICA C. STUBBS (Loving Mother of Darrin)
Welcome to our New Members:
Nicole Funari (Sibling)
Margaret Jackson (parent)
Michael Kimble (Parent)
Carolyn Miller (Parent)
Jean Pierce (Parent)
Alberta Smith (Parent)
TO MY LITTLE GIRL
I feel like my mind and body are lost and in a world of
confusion, and my heart is in a place where I never wish
upon anyone. When you were born I was so sure of myself.
I had all the answers. Then I took a look into your eyes
and I didn’t have the answers anymore. The first time I
looked into your eyes was the happiest day of my life. You
looked at me with so much confusion and uncertainty. The
world was at the tip of your toes. And you didn’t even
know it. I was so afraid that I would make a mistake and
one day you would need something and I wouldn’t have the
answers. You were my greatest achievement. When I held
you in my arms and you looked me in the eyes and I felt
like you were seeing right through me. You know that I
was puzzled and had no idea. You fell asleep in my arm
and had no worries in your little heart. When I found out
that you were sick I felt the world crashing onto my
shoulders and my heart just stopped. Every second you
were sick I prayed to God wishing that it was me sick and
not you. You were my child and I didn’t know how to help
you. From that moment on I searched and asked God for
answers. Every moment I was with you were moments
that I will never forget. During your first surgery I was so
worried that you wouldn’t make it. I felt sick to my
stomach and my heart was beating so fast and feelings of
confusion in my heart. I thought the first surgery was
hard but the second and third and the fourth were even
harder. With each surgery you had, all of the feelings from
the first surgery were the same but with more uncertainty.
I kept telling myself that everything would be okay and
that we would get through this together as a family. The
doctor told us that you were born with a defected heart.
Your heart may have been defected. But I believe that it
was strong and that you had a will for life. For someone so
small and little you had a hard life and with all the
surgery you must had a strong heart because I don’t know
if I could have went through what you did and still be so
happy and full of life. And for that I will always remember
you as my little girl. Love, Dad
In Memory of Hana Shing-Kimble
Submitted by Michael Kimble
“I am coming
into the
daylight of
hope.”
Page 10 The Compassionate friends • Northern Virginia and DC June 2011
If there are any errors or omissions in the two Our Children Remembered pages,
please contact your local chapter leadership so our data bases can be corrected.
Francis Leo Bofua Geh Jun 2 Annunciatta and George Geh Fairfax
Christopher D "Chris" Morton Jun 2 Samuel & Patricia Morton, Katherine Morton Orf Arlington
Jessica Stein Jun 2 Gary and Doris Stein Arlington
Stephen L Slepetz Jun 3 Stephen L. and Betsy Slepetz Prince William
Aidan Frank Jun 4 Katy and Gary Frank Fairfax
Peter Byron Keller Jun 5 Katherine Dees-Payne Arlington
Jessica Catherine Randall Jun 6 Heide Randall Arlington
Cody Cooper Jun 7 Diane Baldino Fairfax
Denise Henning Jun 7 Anne Marie Zulandi Fairfax
Rachel Kaplan Jun 7 Glenn and Robin Kaplan Prince William
C. Christopher Schupp Jun 7 Norma and John Bobst Prince William
Kelly Czerwinski Jun 8 Stan Czerwinski Fairfax
Paul Frederick Siess Jun 9 Mayhew and Georgette Siess Arlington
Kimberly Dawn Williams Jun 10 Jim and Barbara Williams Prince William
Ashley Myers Jun 12 Wynnie Myers Leesburg
Melissa Kirschbaum Coleman Jun 13 Marti and Ira Kirschbaum Arlington
Kevin Eveland Jun 13 Alyssa and Jeff Eveland Leesburg
Fri B Geh Jun 13 Annunciatta and George Geh Fairfax
Brigid (Sullivan) Healy Jun 15 Paul and Flora Sullivan Arlington
Ian Michael Wyland Jun 15 Rebecca and Michael Wyland Arlington
Ryan Branisa Jun 16 Sylvia Pape Fairfax
Ryan Hanover Jun 16 Anne and Paul Hanover Leesburg
Caroline Leslie Kinskie Jun 16 Christie and Steve Kinskie Prince William
Kevin Eckerman Jun 18 Don and Peggy Eckerman Fairfax
Mike Armand Gress Jun 20 Josie and Chuck Gress Reston
Isaac Maximino Toney Jun 20 Ken and Janice Toney Arlington
Raven Gileau Jun 23 Linda Gileau Fairfax
Maggie Ofuiero Jun 23 Judy and Larry Oufiero Fairfax
Adam Lewis Heitz Jun 24 Theresa & Glenn Heitz Leesburg
Angel Charlene Gaines Jun 25 Melissa Gaines Leesburg
Gregory Dean Williams Jun 25 Jim and Barbara Williams Prince William
Corrin Travis Jun 26 Lynne Travis Leesburg
Anthony Dragotto Jun 29 Frank Dragotto Arlington
Marcelo Marazzi Jun 29 Rosane and Al Marazzi Fairfax
Leisa Reno Jun 29 John and Jane Trimble Fairfax
Kelly Monahan Jun 30 Mary and Dan Monahan Fairfax
Page 11 The Compassionate friends • Northern Virginia and DC June 2011
Fakhri Mohsin Jun 1 Fakhra and Irshad Mohsin Prince William
Christian Norman Jun 3 Jodi Norman Fairfax
Danielle Lyn Tauro Jun 3 Regina Tauro Prince William
Marina Landi Jun 5 Federica Landi Arlington
Michelle Lisa Jun 5 Marilyn Renfield Arlington
Timothy Burks Jun 6 Trudy Burks Prince William
Matthew Lanzaro Jun 6 Marilyn and Robert Lanzaro Fairfax
Tera Lowder Jun 7 Ana Lowder Fairfax
Chris Sudi Akunda Jun 8 Jackie Akunda Fairfax
Abigail Burroughs Jun 9 Frank Burroughs Reston
Jason Kenneth Duvall Jun 9 Kenneth and Sally Duvall Arlington
Jessica Catherine Randall Jun 9 Heide Randall Arlington
Julia Kenney Teresa Jun 9 Mary and Jeff Petrino Reston
Jackie Corry Jun 10 Jack Corry Arlington
Bryan Kelly Jun 10 Sean Kelly Fairfax
Kayleigh Plamondon Jun 10 Debbie Plamondon Leesburg
Ashley Renee Thompson Jun 10 Sam and Robin Thompson Fairfax
Casey Butler Jun 11 Robin Sanford Fairfax
Ryan Branisa Jun 12 Sylvia Pape Fairfax
Sean Campbell Jun 13 Donald and Madelyn Campbell Arlington
Trevor Davis Jun 13 Amy and Brad Davis Leesburg
Sarah Renee Carter Jun 14 Susan Carter Fairfax
Lydia Margaret Petkoff Jun 14 Susan Carter Fairfax
Kimberly Dawn Williams Jun 14 Jim and Barbara Williams Prince William
Ian Michael Wyland Jun 15 Rebecca and Michael Wyland Arlington
Charles Culver "Chip" Kelly Jun 17 Mary Laurie Kelly Arlington
George Noble Jun 17 Kathy And Roger Noble Arlington
Stephen L. Slepetz Jun 18 Stephen L. and Betsy Slepetz Prince William
Isaac Maximino Toney Jun 20 Ken and Janice Toney Arlington
Samuel Jermaine Blanks Jun 22 Samuel and Betty Blanks DC
Brandon F. Carter Jun 22 Gladys and Harry Strother Fairfax
Maxwell Scott Casillas Jun 22 Adrian and Sandi Casillas Prince William
Kimberly Darlene Clark Jun 22 Mark and Jennifer Clark Prince William
Silecia Darlington Jun 23 Jean Darlington DC
Brian Gronenthal Jun 23 Christine Gronenthal Arlington
Kristi Lynn Brown Jun 24 Lloyd and Karen Brown Arlington
Christopher Michael Cleveland Jun 24 Susan and Roy Cleveland Leesburg
Joe Miller Jun 24 Sharon Lightner Fairfax
John Steve Catilo Jun 25 Alejandro and Maria Catilo Arlington
Robert E. Lee Jun 25 Bob Lee Fairfax
Geraldine "Gigi" Olivia Clark Jun 26 Jackie Arias Clark Leesburg
William Patrick Pelasara Jun 26 Toni Horn Leesburg
Jennifer Wysocki Jun 27 Edward and Marlene Wysocki Prince William
Beth Ann Coefileld Jun 28 Lorrie and Warren Fox Leesburg
Mark Berkowitz Jun 29 Alan Berkowitz Fairfax