The world keeps going to a certain direction; the circles ne-ver stop rotating, and the waves that splashed us were our hands…

Destinations are many but the aim is the same…

Abderrahim hssaini

THE BLACK FLAG

THE BLACK FLAG

Abedro took the old rusty rifle from the wooden shelf situated in the corner, and started clea-ning it from the dust that speaks on behalf of many ages gone. The rifle still contains two bullets ready to be fired; he touched the surface of the rifle gently and whispered to himself; only God knows how many souls you have taken, the hands that held you must be full of sins or persistence, I think you should be in a natio-nal museum because there are many men eager to see their ancestor’s heritage, even though It is a huge legacy made by bloodshed and historical violations, yet people deserve to know the price of making a very developed civilization. Before he realized that he spent too much time thinking about the wars that his country waged in the name of peace, a soft voice crawled into his ears announcing that lunch is about to be served .It was the voice that he could distinguish amidst the most annoying sounds, the voice of his wife Dally, the woman most popular in Touriland because she was the only woman who had a chance to go to the university, she often uses some archaic words whenever she gets mad.

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“I’m coming darling; I hope the lamb is not spicy as usual”. He murmured while he was descending the stairs.The rifle was still in his hands, he wanted to move it into his bedroom, he thought that he might use the two bullets one day; he put it under the bed and went to join his wife around the table. “You had some bad nightmares last night right?” Said Dally.“Really, I cannot remember that, was it bad?”“I do not know I was not having the same nightmares, people do not have the same nightmares, maybe they share visions and beautiful dreams but never bad nightmares.”“Yes I saw them coming, creatures in black, they were like crows with legs, carrying chessboards and riding horses without saddles, they wanted to seize the house and take my tractor.”“Well I guess it is the same nightmare you usually have.” “Apparently the same; however slight differences occur every time.”“But they never take anything right? “

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“No I always fight them, using a very strange weapon which I have never seen before; however sometimes an old woman appears from nowhere and shouts :” give them what they want and free your mind from hallucinations .” Those nightmares reflect his anxiety toward life. He drank some mineral water and compli-mented his wife for her good cooking and left.Dally did not reply this time, she put the fork on the empty dish and started interpreting Abedro’s words; she could clearly understand that her husband was going through a hard trial, he is becoming old and weak, then she remembered that the only son they have was taken by force to join the army, she said the grief I had since my boy left the house can turn graves into ashes, almost every woman in town shares the same misfortune. Their daily talks evolve around the black flag; it is the flag raised above the local hospital whenever one of the young men who belong to Touri-land dies in the battlefield. How can a state that wages wars and spreads fear, live in peace? Mothers cannot taste serenity while the black flag still arrogantly flit-ting like a deadly spear that breaches their hearts one at a time. Every minute elapses, brings unpleasant fee-lings and tormenting phobia that stops hearts beats for a while and get revived by hope again.

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Everyday new screams hug the frowny sky. Soldiers die somewhere audaciously believing their death will make their cause legal, and mothers die in Touriland slowly wishing that their tears will not be wept soon. The black flag will never surrender as long as war still devouring new men frequently.Abedro has reached the vast Grijout forest now; it is the only place where he feels cozy or aboard his boat, he usually goes for fishing but when he started seeing nightmares he changed his direction toward the jungle. The sea makes him depressed, he used to be a patient fisherman, spending long hours waiting for an unlucky fish which is going to be tomorrow’s lunch, he changes the bait from time to time putting some highly aromatic spices on it in order to attract big fish, because Dally hates cooking small fish, she always says “one good big fish in a big pot is better than many in a frying pan”. He reclined against a big tree called by the people of Touriland “the love messenger” because its trunk is full of names of lovers who used to come to Grijout so as to be free from the conservative men-tality of their parents, he remembered that his name with Dally is still on the top of the trunk, he looked at their names witch still incredibly readable, he tried to get back that exact moment when they decided

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to write their names on the tree ,it is vividly entrenched in his mind , he etched his name first and then hers because she was too short to reach the top of the trunk. Most of those lovers who etched their names on the tree did not get married; only few ex-ceptions survived. Men sought lust and pleasure and women desired the same but with little love. He closed his eyes for a while and opened them furiously be-cause he does not want to have nightmares again, maybe the nightmares a person has during the day are much worse than those of the night, he thought. The shade of the tree started moving eastward, the sunset is such a desirable view but he did not want to stay few more minutes in Grijout; it is going to be dark soon and Dally will be really concerned if he does not come back home early. On the way to Touriland; Abedro heard two women talking about the black flag, it was raised again in the afternoon, and another family is going to taste grief; this family could be his own and sadness could be his everlasting companion, he mi-ght spend the rest of his life wiping Dally’s tears but he abandoned that thought as quickly as it emerged into his mind in the first time, he knows that his son is a tough man and he will be soon the hero of Touriland. But he does not know that death is the conqueror of

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heroes it defeated kings and emperors before, it is the invincible enemy, the inescapable fate and the absolute truth.Abedro’s feet can no longer hold his exhausted body he feels numb and thirsty, war is also thirsty, only blood will fulfill its unsatisfied hunger , it is such a fas-tidious creature; as long as fire requires more wood to remain ignited, war demands sacrifices and innocent souls. Peace is expensive but humanity is priceless.Dally heard hazy knocks on the door, as if it was made by weak hands which could no longer knock strongly on a big wooden door , wait you old man, Dally said angrily, I always say take your kies with you ,she was ready to blow him up as soon as she will open the door ; however she felt so afraid when she saw his pale face ,he was breathing randomly and his right hand was placed shiveringly over his heart, she took him inside ,he sat on the couch and Dally unfastened his shoelaces , before she could utter a word he as-ked; “are we worshiping the right God ?”. Abedro was a man of religion he spent most of his time contem-plating the universe in Grijout forest; he was always asking questions about the existence of Man; there must be a purpose beyond everything, Man was not created for no reason, there is something hidden and

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only those whom God has chosen can perceive it, space is such an amazing place, yet it cannot emerge by its self,The soup I made today is delicious ; she tried to di-verge from the topic, she did not have a good reli-gious knowledge and she knew that their conversation would be futile, but Abedro insisted, he said:” Dally; I feel that my days are counted and I do not want to die believing in something which does not even exist, pa-radise is not made for ignorant people and I have de-voted my whole life attempting to reach the ultimate truth ;the one that God engraved in pious hearts ,it is the truth that people tend to deny because they can-not accept divine revelations although they know it is the only path to salvation”. For Dally these ideas were obscure, she was frustrated more than ever before, she was like a fly in a spider’s web it was the first time that she experienced total confusion , she wanted to help her husband but her religious jargon was limited and the assumptions she had about the divine truth were uncertain. “Let me tell you something”, she answered, “life is too short but I intend to live every moment of it with you, time is a battery which we charge by hope and optimism; however batteries run out one day, I do not know anything about the divine truth but I believe

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that God was unjust when he took my son away from me, he was my salvation indeed.” her tears leaked out over her cheeks; she wanted to leave but he hugged her tightly he wiped her tears with his thumb and said ;the soup smells good ,let me taste what you have made ,I hope it will not be as salty as your tears ,they laughed spontaneously and they shared hopeful looks ,they were like two strangers on a boat in Venice guided by affection and unrevealed secrets .The soup was just an exit door to avoid the gloomy temper that clung to Abedro’s words; no one of them was hungry. Dally served two bowls full of hot, good smelling soup, but just as ornamenting items that please the eyes and manipulate the nose. Abedro did not want to remain silent for a long time but he could not speak, he had many feelings to be expressed yet he was as mute as a culprit whom the judge sentenced to death, Dally’s silence was devastating him too, he was never in such position before, he knew that Dally was not a woman of short mood change period, she could remain sad for weeks, she was the one who supported him during hard days; long time before they got mar-ried. And now he cannot break the promises he made for her when they were good friends, and he will never forget the oath they both swore to keep while they

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THE BLACK FLAGwere next to “the love messenger” three.”Those days are irreplaceable” he always states happily when Dal-ly reminds him of the hilarious moments they spent together. He wanted to petrify those memories for eternity .The soup has become cold, but their minds still on fire, and only a good conversation could make things right, Abedro stretched his hand toward Dal-ly’s upper lip, he gently touched it and said, there was something on your lip and I removed it now, Dally smiled bashfully, she stood up and started clearing the table, her hands were shivering, Abedro noticed so and he asked her, is everything all right Dally? Im fi,,. She passed out before she could answer him.Few hours later; Dally was in a room in the local hos-pital, Abedro was setting next to her on an old black leather sofa, the doctor told him to go home and get some rest, but he refused even though he was reas-sured that there are two nurses who are ready to watch his wife all night long, Abedro yelled at the doctor and said; I don’t trust nurses they always sleep during their shifts, I will take care of my wife myself , I will never sleep while my wife is in a coma . Doctor Enzo was astonished, he didn’t hear about such love in years, he knew Dally long time ago when they were classmates in A-T Mensouria high school in Touriland .

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Enzo looked at her pale face and all of a sudden he felt that a stream of beautiful moments flew through his heart, he could imagine that Dally was few inches away from him. Before they were close friends even their families were close too, he had a crush on her, he wanted her badly but Dally never gave him a chance to express his feelings. She enjoyed making boys feel di-sappointed. Dally was a girl who worth to fight for and she was indeed the reason of many quarrels that ended up most of the time in the director‘s office. Are you ok Doc?? Abedro asked furiously, he was such a jealous man.Yes I’m ok. She seems so pale, I will inject her with some vitamins, don’t be too concerned she will be fine soon, Enzo was injected by Dally’s love long time ago, her untidy looks still disturb his mind .eventually he realized that Dally belongs to another man now and she must be deeply in love with him. Enzo had already reached the hallway that leads to the hospital’s phar-macy; the hallway was such a long and wearying path, doctors assisted many incidents in the hallway; it is such a horrifying stimulus for bad memories. Many screams were shouted in the hallway, death’s smell is still the aroma that lightens the hallway’s walls.

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Five minutes later doctor Enzo was back to Dally’s room holding in his hand two small bottles. Before he could empty them in the injections Abedro caught his hand and said gently: are you sure these medicines are not expired yet? Enzo looked at him sympathetically, then he replied: Dally’s life will be expired if you didn’t let me do my job, I will never use an expired medi-cine, especially with someone whom I… there was a period of fatal silence, no one could utter a word, it was like if air was blocked out of the room. Enzo and Abedro exchanged few perplexed looks, Enzo had so many thoughts that needed to be expressed yet he was not ready to voice his profound emotions especially that he was certain that Abedro will never hesitate to punch him if he said anything about his wife; that is exactly what Abedro’s wet eyes were saying, suddenly Dally coughed, she opened her left eye slowly, every-thing in the room was blurry except Abedro, he was so splendid and prominent he was surrounded by a circle of magical light ,she knew that he was tired and weak ,that was obvious from the way he looked ,she was quit certain that he did not sleep the whole night long ,she waved at him as if he was too far from her , he was few feet away from her bed but he was never away from her heart , he was that kind of men who would

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sacrifice anything to keep his lady satisfied and safe ,he could never make her feel neglected or abandoned . Abedro sat next to his wife and whispered in her ears “your beauty stills the same it does not diminish when you are sick, even if you are passed out your adorable spirit does not pass away”. They laughed wildly, Enzo was happy, it meant a lot to him to see Dally one more time, he was even happier because he treated her and she was as close to him as before .Enzo murmured slowly “ love makes wonders , love can miraculously resurrect dead hearts and lost memories . Abedro re-plied:” I beg you pardon?” Enzo had already left the room. Abedro went out and waved at Dinky; the only cab driver in Touriland; the cab stopped .Abedro ap-proached to Dinky who opened the side window and said:”hello sir, are you going somewhere?” Abedro replied: “my wife is sick in that hospital and I want to take her home.” Ok, I’m waiting, go and get her” Dinky said gently. Abedro brought his wife with the help of two other nurses whom Abedro insulted ear-lier when doctor Enzo ordered him to go home and take some rest, they put her in the back seat slowly; they knew that Abedro was a man of bad temper, he might yell and hit anyone for trivial reasons, he is like

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a vicious hurricane that ravages anything on its way to the ocean. Only Dally could calm him down with her smile. Abedro closed the back door and apolo-gized to the nurses for being rude last night, they did not talk, they have just smiled. He sat in the front seat next to the cab driver and put his head back and slept. The driver has already known the address; Abedro was such a famous man besides Touriland was a small town. In the afternoon the taxi has reached Abedro’s house, Dinky tapped Abedro’s shoulders and said” wake up old man , here you are , Abedro’s eyes were twinkling due to the afternoon’s strong sun rays .he descended from the cab ,he opened the back door and held Dal-ly’s right hand ,she could barely stand on her feet ,she was like a feather in the middle of a storm ,so weak and strayed . Abedro asked Dinky “how much?”,”not too much” Dinky answered .All you have to do is to promise me that you will bury my body when I die and make sure I will have a decent funeral ,you know I have no kids to do that, besides my old wife hates me , she is a real demon , I know she won’t even cry when I die ,she is not like Dally ,she will dig your tomb herself when you die ,maybe if you passed away first.”

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Abedro hated that gloomy temper, he knew that he won’t escape death no matter what he does, but he didn’t want to think about that now especially that Dally is sick and he must stay by her side till she reco-vers, “yes I promise Dinky, you will never die alone, I will urge all the inhabitants of Touriland to come to your funeral, if you passed away first of course”. They laughed ironically, death laughed as well. Death has tricky plans; it occurs in the most unexpected places and times, and disappears when we desire it more than ever before. It will visit Touriland again very soon.Dally was back to her routine, but Abedro didn’t. He enjoyed watching Dally moving all around the house, doing her housework accurately, she was such a tidy person, she made the house as refined as a blue lake’s surface in the morning ,she was fond of decoration ,she hated imitation from the bottom of her heart yet she worshiped creative simplicity instead. She could spread love in her house by using things thought to be useless, she has always said: “uselessness is not a word; only failure partisans create useless illusions to hide their defects”. A hunter who misses a wild elk says that the bullet’s head was a little twisted, or the rifle was not well cleaned from the inside, but he will never ad-mit his failure or accept his inaccuracy .

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when Abedro and Dally were sharing some good mo-ments together or rather some perplexed looks, Tou-riland shouted again, the mountains around it could hear the echo of women crying once again, the black flag was raised. Before anyone could know any infor-mation about the soldier who died, the preacher uses the church’s large speaker so as to spread the news. It is the same speaker that announced the death of the former Touriland’s mayor, who was supporting the declaration that states the necessity of sending men to the war in the name of bravery and honor,Some of his close friends said that he sent his son abroad in order to study and get a high position in the state when the war is over. How coincidental is that? The mayor and the soldier are both dead now, but who died truly in the name of bravery and honor? He wanted safety for his son; however, he doomed other sons at the cost of patriotism.In less than few minutes the church had become over-crowded, men sat on the front bunches in the left row and women sat in the opposite side in the right row. Kids were playing at the back; people never get afraid of death until they grow up and experience events that show how devastating death is. Every mother was petrified in her seat, Reciting prayers and supplicating

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THE BLACK FLAGGod not to make her grieve this time. The preacher entered to the church from the side door where his room is situated. He hardly reached the lectern, the three stairs that lead to the lectern were so long, it’s seems like if he ascended three miles up to the lectern, his face was featureless, he was an octogenarian co-lored man .he seemed to be a man of experience, every moment in his life made him learn something useful and made him appreciate life more, he did many ora-tions on that lectern but he never looked desperate and frowny before. This time he was going to say so-mething very important and maybe he was going to deliver his last speech.“O people of Touriland” his voice filled the void between the audiences feet. The kids stopped playing and started staring at “uncle Nesto”.prayers were no longer recited, mothers believed that their supplica-tions have reached God now, but one of them won’t be accepted from her , she is going to taste bitterness anyway. Men could not remove the pictures of their sons out of their minds especially those who had only one son. They closed their eyes simultaneously and tried to remember the moments that their sons spent in front of their eyes since they were born till the day of their departure to war. Abedro took a glimpse to his wife without saying a word.

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Nesto wrapped the white envelop that contains the name of the soldier who died in the battlefield and put it in his pocket and said: “I know how you feel right now, I shall share your misfortune today; I know how lethal is raising a kid and giving him all what you have got and then somebody simply raises a flag declaring that your son was devoured by the enemies horrible weapons, you don’t even know how he died, did he cry in the captivity? Or he had never surrendered to his coward inner soul .what I know now is that you are all afraid; no one can describe your mental state but you. No one can say cheer up it is fine, because it is not, no one can feel what we feel, because what we feel does not matter for those who wage wars for their perso-nal interests ,they don’t feel us because their hearts are rotten and sick. “O believers”, the fellows of God, I don’t want your belief to be diminished, I don’t want you to stop loving your sons no matter what happens, they die there in wars so that we can live here in peace. A peace that surrounded our land for years, people don’t assess what they have until it’s no longer in their hands. Tomorrow we shall receive another dead body of someone who is dear to our hearts. We will bury him with love and pride .we will certainly cry but we will wish that after tomorrow the black flag will never

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be raised again.” Few women cried, some men went out for a while, maybe they wanted to cry too, his speech was heart touching. However; Nesto tried to remain calm, he was the source of strength and war-mth for their cold hearts. He continued “I’ am stan-ding here in front of you today so as to wipe your tears and console your distressed souls, not because I’m a man of religion but because I’m a father. » these were his last words before a man from the back interrupted him .He was Dinky the taxi driver, he was such an im-patient man, dinky said out loud “save your words, we want to know who died, we cannot bear your speech anymore” Nesto couldn’t bear anything anymore too ,he switched off the microphone he unplugged it then he put the envelop on the lectern and went out hiding his calamity in his heart. The church had become so still, everything was static as a rock. Heart pulses had lost their rhythm, everybody caught his breath, it was the most unfelt moment in the history of Touriland. Dinky broke the icy silence that was scattered in the church and went toward the lectern to tell the people of Touriland whose family was about to see darkness for some time, he reached the lectern but before he touched the envelop he shed some tears, he remembe-red his son whom he had lost long time ago, his

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name was written in an envelope similar to the one he is looking at now he was among the first troop which was participated in the war when it was waged the first time, he usually talks about his son with the passen-gers who ride his cab. He considers his son as a hero whom Touriland should be very proud of. He wiped his tears and ope-ned it and get the white official paper out of it. When he saw the name he was shocked, he turned on the microphone and looked toward the side door where Nesto lived and said,” I’m awfully sorry uncle Nesto I should have let you finish your speech” he looked toward the public and said sorrowfully “people of Tou-riland, your sons are safe till a further notice, today we lost Nesto’s son” he read the name out loud “Joey Gonath” .A combination of strange feelings flew through the church’s atmosphere, it was like a surpri-sing cyclone that swept away everything in a small coastal village. Senses were numb, some feelings had been experienced for the first time, it is the feeling of seeing death stretching it’s fangs toward you but ac-tually it skips you and catches the soul of the person setting next to you giving you the last warning to be a good person . Men and women were somehow alle-viated; losing a life that we admire is such an

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unforgettable torture. Nesto was setting alone in his room, he was a lonely man, his wife died when she gave birth to Joey, Nesto was the loneliest father in Touriland. Abedro was preceding some other men who wanted to comfort Nesto for his loss; they knocked on the door which was already open, Nesto allowed them to enter. Abedro was the first one to step forward, he wanted to say something but he didn’t know how to start, Nesto knew that Abedro will never speak those words out. He could read that in his eyes. “don’t say anything” Nesto initiated the talk,”I know that people become speechless in such situations, I was speechless myself when I read my son’s name in the envelop” Nesto continued talking giving Abedro and the others a chance to find out something to say “ I wanted to tell you something very crucial when I was delivering my speech but Dinky interrupted me, a new young priest is going to take my place in the church , the clergy said that I’m too old to stay in my occu-pation as a preacher , religion needs be renewed and only a young spirit can do that ,besides I’m suffering a lot nowadays and I need sometime for myself ,maybe I will teach theology at the university ,that’s what the clergy had promised “ Abedro took Nesto ‘s hand and said: “ we know you very well , you have done your job

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as it should be, we will never forget you , we will never stop praying for you, wherever you are blessings shall reach your pure heart ”. Abedro hugged Nesto tight-ly and cried over his shoulders, he didn’t want Nesto to see him crying, Nesto’s shoulders had lift all their burdens for years, few tears won’t be exhausting. The other men hugged him too, one by one, thanking him for being a good helping man and wishing him a hap-py life wherever he goes.Some time had elapsed. Touriland was back to its rou-tine, some promises were not kept, the church closed its doors, Nesto was replaced by dust and rats shit, even the clergy lies. No priest came to renew their re-ligion. Maybe they shouldn’t have abandoned the old spirit. Nesto had left the village, and no one knew his destination, Abedro told him once that blessings shall reach his pure heart, yet all what he got is curses; may-be his heart was not pure after all.In the other parts of the country, many crowds ma-nifested against the state’s policy towards the war, the Protestants included fathers and mothers whose sons still fight in the war fronts .the banners which were raised for more than ten days, made every person re-call the black flag which has become a haunting spirit that terrorizes women and men alike.

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During the eleventh day, the protestations continued, more people joined the angry crowds, many streets were blocked and many stores were closed. Late that night, the president delivered an alleviating speech so as to decrease the congestion made by the angry pa-rents. “Bombs are very easy to deal with than angry screaming mothers”, that was a statement from the presidential speech, when mothers heard that; they felt proud and strong.At the end of his speech, he promised to bring back all the soldiers who still alive, and give them good sa-laries for the rest of their lives. It seemed that, the rest of their lives mean one year or two; because most sol-diers were injured and sick; their lives were already gone. After that cheering speech, the protestations were called off, surprisingly things seem to be looking up, Touriland started the preparations to receive the exiled soldiers, they are heroes and peace makers; yet they are exiled from the eye and the heart. Mothers couldn’t wait any longer to see their kids; they were so delighted after listening to the president’s speech “women have become such a devastating power which must not be underestimated “Dally states whenever Abedro tries to tease her, she reminds him that the president himself said that it’s so hard to deal with

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angry screaming mothers. In Touriland mothers be-come aware that only noise and chaos can realize their demands, Dally’s house has become a place for femi-nine meetings. The moment of freedom has come. The first day of July 1951 is the promised day. Touriland was ready to hug hope and joy once again after so many years of frozen emotions. It was a cold morning, bodies were covered by heavy coats, heads were hidden under big woolen hats, and hands disappeared under leather gloves, only the sharp waiting eyes remained bare and focused .the sun was still in the other part of the wor-ld ,people didn’t care much about the sun ,they cared about the suns .Abedro and Dally gathered around a cup of coffee, Abedro was a black coffee addict. They exchanged few words about their son, Dally said “I don‘t remember his face, maybe he has a nice beard like his father” Abedro replied “ I wish he will keep his helmet un-til he reached home ,we never know when the enemy will strike” Dally laughed madly ,she was so happy that she will see her son before she dies. Before Tou-riland could smell the first sun ‘s threads , a terrori-zing scream came out of the local hospital ,panic was crawled inside fragile recently recovered hearts ,people

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went out to find out what happened. Dally wanted to go out too but she was exhausted, Abedro stood up rashly and said” I will see what ‘s going on, I will be back soon.” After a while he came back, he was speechless and unable to stand; he sat in the doorstep, no matter what he had seen there, it was absolutely so-mething serious and heartbreaking. Dally noticed that her husband’s psychological state has changed, he was laughing few moments ago now he cannot move or talk, she said”sweetheart what is it?” Abedro looked at her and said “the damned black flag was raised”.

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