Teen Art Out Nr. 2

Team

Teen Art Out ISSN 2284 – 6549 ISSN–L = 2284 – 6549

Our editorial team

Editor in-chief: Cosmina Simona MihalcaEditors: Carmen-Mirabela Dan Ioana Despina Camino Elias Lazarus Asistent cercetator drd. Sebastian Vaida Andreea Simona Albulescu Mihai Carneciu Photo credits: Dragos Dumitrache Aylin BayhanCover: Ruxandra MarinCover graphics: Cosmina Simona MihalcaDesign: Alina Daniela Nicu

We reserve the right to select the submissions received before publishing.

Contact:[email protected]

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Table of contents

Table of contents

Crazy little thing called love 4

Love’s our shadow on the wall with the face of God 8

Missing 12

Love 14

Interview with Lara Zombie 16

Dancing – another way of communication 24

Emotional intelligence 26

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Crazy little thing called love

Once again, our issue bears the name of a famous song, and since February has just ended, which better than crazy little thing called love?What does love mean to us? A feeling that holds no definition that just feels our being and takes over. As many names for it, as many forms, it’s just our basic function. It is what every-one desires, even if he might have forgotten. Some say it’s the most powerful force, some hold it as the utmost goal. However, there are those who consider it to be an endless string of sor-rows. Still, love takes us far, builds us and breaks us, leaves its mark upon us and forever changes our inner being.I love you… Those three words, said too often, but not enough. Are we ever really comfortable saying them? Truth be told, it’s never easy. From the moment you realize the fact that you ac-tually love someone, from that specific moment when you stop lying to yourself, we cannot help but feel vulnerable. Because yes, loving someone means being vulnerable to everything they do or say, hurting when they hurt, laughing when they do, let-ting them break down the walls you so beautifully had built.And then, we just wonder… is love anything more than chem-istry? We all hold our heart responsible, but little do we know that the brain actually controls everything. Be it happiness or sadness, it’s a chemical reaction, one that makes us truly alive.And how do we know when we are in love? The love songs make sense, for one. This (This Thing) called love (Called Love) It cries (Like a baby) In a cradle all night It swings (Woo Woo) It jives (Woo Woo) It shakes all over like a jelly fish, I kinda like it Crazy little thing called love (Queen-Crazy little thing called love)

Cosmina Simona Mihalca,Editor-in-chief

Statement

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„Love`s our shadow on the wall with the face of God” (HIM- „The face of God”)

What is love? Nobody would explain to you what love is. Do you know why? Can this feeling be described by a single word, can a single word be enough to describe it? Will peo-ple use the same word to describe it? No. Love is different for every single person. Love can be different for any of us in time, it is always different, depending on the person you meet, the circumstances, the memories you have together, the age…We are permanently running through this world trying to fi-ind our purpose, our reason, our destiny, ourselves. It is said about love that when you really meet it, you just feel it, it is like some kind of magic, it`s a matching of thoughts, of facts, of desitinies, of lives, a retrieving of yourself in some-body else, another being, to know your own self better, to discover who you really are, to feel like floating in the air, being here and there and discovering the divine.When we discover the mirror reflection of ourselvs in an-other person, we see our real self and I guess this is the whole point. It`s one of that both human and divine inner feel-ings all of us have in a personal form, a part of an Universal Love, made to radiate Love. More and more, as we meet through our lives peo-ple who can touch our heart, we discover the deep sense of love and it becomes more and more difficult to us to describe it in words. This probably first word…We discover who we really are, we discover our inner deep self, hid-den somewhere behind our boring crust, far away inside us, away of the daily appearances and robotizing. It seems that, from the moment you find love, a warm light appears in our dark tunnel where we walk our steps everyday in the same old way. The light increases with every person that me meet by heart. We start to see everything more bright.

Ioana Despina Camino


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There is a movie, in which Nicholas Cage has the first role. It is called “City of angels”. It`s about a love story between an angel (role played by Nicholas Cage) and a hu-man. A deep inner love, metaphysical love. When she dies she is asked what the most beautiful thing that happened in her life was. Nothing is more powerful and important that the inner feelings of our soul- LOVE. What`s that when you thing about him/her every moment, when you just can`t imagine your life without him/her, when you feel you are not YOU without your mirror reflection, when you feel that nothing matters except him/her and your love, when you run to see him/her like a crazy person, when the moments without the one you love hurt like hell, when the distance hurts like hell, when the time passes by so slowly, when you would give anything for him/her, when you can`t imagine your life without that person, when you find your peace in his/her arms, when the feeling is warm, there is no sense for words because the eyes and the heart are speaking the souls out…? With every smile, with every look, with every lit-tle silence, with every sunrise and sunset, with every mo-ment we feel that our heart beats Love and we are drowning in a warm happiness, a happiness that we want to shout, to scream, to yell, to gift away, to squirt. And with every step we feel the need to look around us and say “Thank you!”…even though we don`t know to whom to thank for, even if we don`t know exactly why, even if we can`t define the feeling by words and we think that nobody is listening.It is one of those miracles hidden in ourselves! And it`s one of the most powerful magic things we have in our world…„Love`s our shaddow on the wall with the face of God” (HIM- „The face of God”, one of my favourite songs).


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MissingWhat is it that makes us actu-ally miss someone? It certainly is a feeling, one that cannot be defined. In Romanian there is a word called “dor” that means that exact feeling when you are missing someone or something. So far, I have not heart of any language to have a single word describing that. So what makes it so special? In order for us to miss someone, we must truly feel for them. But it’s not just who they are, is it? It’s who we are when they are with us, it’s the feelings they send us. Love can’t exist with-out the constant missing of the other one. That struggle to al-ways be there for each other, to leave no moment go by, that’s what it truly means to care. However, we sometimes miss the people who harm us, in more forms than one. Is it because we are sadistic? I don’t think so. As is has been said so many time, there is no light without dark. Hence, the human being is built to secretly seek out a bit of pain, one that will bring out a sentiment. But it’s not love that hurts, it’s the constant worrying, the panicking, the moments in which we truly feel that we are alone, and finally, the moment we realize that it’s time to say goodbye. We like to say that we cannot live without love. Yet, just as Dr House said, Oxygen

is even more important. From time to time, missing someone is good, is a sign of everything that has been. Other times it’s just a remainder that people drift apart. Despite our best efforts, we always lose people. Missing someone doesn’t mean you want him in your life. It just says that you are human and have feelings, that there was something there. Being human implies that we all make mistakes. And by doing so, we tend to fight over and over again until it suddenly breaks us up. It’s all a game of pride and egos, and no one can actually win. It takes us no time to think of that one friend with whom we used to speak about everything there was to speak, whom we’d come home to, glad to share our day. And as time proves it, it’s not like that any-more. How long can we go on just replacing people? Better said, how long can we go on re-placing people without losing who we are? But after everything, all we can do is either man up and say something, or just wait hopelessly. Just as there are no two people alike, there are no two stories alike. But for me, it’s better to quietly miss someone than to let them know and get no response.

Cosmina Simona Mihalca


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LoveMaybe we forgot what we want, but I do know what I crave for right now. Yes, I need love, no matter how hard it could be for me to achieve it and no matter who’d be the one who gave it to me. My world begins to crumble and I can no longer steady myself on the ground that’s shaking beneath my feet. But I know that you’ll be there and you’ll rescue me, just like I would’ve saved you from the devil’s tongue. But... is this really what I want? Is this really love?

I don’t want you to check my every movement, I don’t want you to verify my breathing every time and I definitely don’t want you to take my hand and make me do everything you say. Love helps you compliment each other’s life, but all that you do could be easily classified as complicating it. I’d like to heal for the honey and to feel all the sweetness that you have, but I’m no longer that person that indulges in a bath of sugar and then comes alive all happy, just to start again - sharing kisses, making out and falling in each other’s arms. Being poised by your words and sipping on your saliva just as it would be earl grey. No, I don’t even want to think about such things. They disgust me. I am disgusted by stalk-ers and you, my lovely dear, are just the perfect one.

I believe it, you are always there for me, you always answer my questions. But I suddenly stopped liking “always”. Yes-terday I was the one who believed in jealousy, today, when my veil has finally been lifted off my eyes, I don’t believe in always any more. I don’t believe in stalking, I don’t trust air-sucking presences. I want space. More than you could imagine. I wish those words that came out of your mouth

Mihai Carneciu14


weren’t for me. Disappointingly, everything you say regards me - someone’s hair is not as nice as mine, someone’s piece of clothing is so... silly in comparison with mine, personal-ity, life, friends, family.

What? You thought that if at first you don’t succeed you have to lie? To lie again? To crawl your way up to me? No, love, I ain’t up high, but you just gotta know the way to my heart, through the maze of sentimental debris. And it is a secret, precious one. One you’ll never be able to figure out. Love is when your insides twist. But do you know what hurts most about a broken heart? Not being able to remember how you felt before... And that’s when you know it was love.

A crush can last a lot, but love lasts forever. You, you think you love me, but... I’m your little secret crush, I’m the one who appears in every dream you have, but I’m also the one that refused your heart. You were willing to give it away, but I didn’t take it. I didn’t want it. It seems that, after all, I always say “Hi, hi, hi” just to... just to tell you “Bye, bye, bye...”. And that is not what love feels like. Mostly because love means two. Two bodies, albeit only one soul. And you are neither my missing body nor my other part of my soul.

We could be acquaintances. I love my friends and I don’t love you. I don’t believe in that love, that childish love - holding hands, cuddling, drinking wine and living in the twi-light. I reckon my time for loving has passed... I may collect jars of hearts, but I don’t want yours close to me.

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Interview

Lora Zombie is a young self-taught artist from Rus-sia who has amassed a massive following of fans online over the past few years.“Calls her bright, color splattered watercolors “grunge art” but I’m fairly sure you could label it anything from “magnetic” to “uplifting” and be right on”. Her speech bubble heavy works, mix diverse linear characters with perfectly placed splashes of paint, giving the pieces a happy mix of perfection and chaos.Influenced and inspired by music, her multi-dis-ciplinary talents are evident in the diverse work found in her portfolio.Elias Lazarus: Who are you to those who do not know you yet? Lora Zombie: I am LALALA girl. Grunge Art artist. I consist of unicorns, strawberries and water.E.L.: If you would be asked to write your own bi-ography, how would that start like?L.Z.: Like all fake stories…”Once upon a time” you know…

E.L.: What was your first contact with art and since when it represents such a big part of your life? L.Z.: I am not sure, but if we are talking about what I do, well I am full life ARTIST so I can say that my first contact with art has happened on that day of my first meeting with pencil when I was a veeeeery little girl…

E.L.: What were the milestones of your career? L.Z.: Hm… drawing on Monday , drawings on Tues-day , drawing on Wednesday, drawing on Thursday , drawing on Friday, drawings on Saturday, draw-ing…erm..and sleeping on Sunday ! I just keep drawing every day without any thoughts about career and this kind of rubbish

E.L.: How could you describe “Your Art”? L.Z.: Red-Yellow-Green-Blue-Violet-ish Porn-Corn-

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Unicorn.

E.L.: Are there any artistic movements that you feel attached? L.Z.: Yup. It’s Grunge art.

E.L.: What are your favorite subjects?L.Z.: Colors of life.Wisdom Animals. Little Girls.

E.L.: How would you characterize contemporary art?L.Z.: I have no actual idea about contemporary art, but I think it should be online reflective and beautiful for eyes. Not like some shit smashed on canvas... you know.

E.L.: Your work shows a distorted reality, where do you get your inspiration? L.Z.: From many-many random things. When I was 15 Iused to get inspiration from music, from some separate sounds of whole music. Now I feel inspired 24 hours a day, even when I sleep. And now I get inspiration from many other things: from people, from movies, from life experience.

E.L.: Do you think an artist should necessarily re-flect the realities of his existence?L.Z.: Not really. I think artist can do whatever they want, something what they are good about. Like if I were good in drawing cats then I would draw only cats.

E.L.: Are there artists who have influenced you in a certain way?L.Z.: Ashley Wood with his dirty style and Adam Hughes with his stile of drawing women faces.

E.L.: How do you see art today? What do you want in the future?L.Z.: I see it wild, conceptual and VEEEEERY beau-tiful.

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E.L.: What are your plans?L.Z.: Like I said before. drawing on Monday , drawings on Tuesday , drawing on Wednesday, drawing on Thursday , drawing on Friday, drawings on Saturday, drawing on blablabla.

E.L.: Please describe to us a typical day in your life. How does it start, what does it consist of and how it ends? L.Z.: It starts from breakfast that i make for my husband. Most of the time I spend in creating new stuff, expect of that time when I do my usual wife-ish things, you know. And around 2-3 AM we go to bed .

E.L.: What is the most impressive image you’ve ever seen? But the most beautiful sound heard? L.Z.: IAMX creates most beautiful sounds for my mind. And about image…hm…I’m not really sure, so I can’t say.

E.L.: A message to readers Art Out?L.Z.: Be careful with all colors.

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Dance Me to the End Of Love

Dancing - another way of communication

Have you ever thought about communicating without words? Like you can express all your feelings without a word? Well, dancing is only one way to do this!You can turn the music loud, and burst into an explosion of hidden thoughts! You don’t need to have any dance courses attended, because your body will know itself how to react to the music vibe.An important amount of energy is consumed during the physical exercise. If you are stressed or just want to calm down a little bit, dancing would be the perfect choice, not only because it’s fun. It also keeps you in a great shape! Did you know that when you listen to music your body frees endorphins in your blood? Endorphin is also called ‘the hormone of happiness’. It is also contained in chocolate, but it would be much healthier for you to do some exercise. Dancing, for instance, can be something that you might try to cheer you up - it will immediately change your state of mind.If you are in a bad mood or just upside down, all you have to do is listen to your favorite song as loud as you want, move around and try to express with moves your inside thoughts, without saying a single word. The re-sults are truly amazing. But dancing is not all about changing your mood or jump-ing around. If you enjoy it, you can attend some classes, and if you are good enough, you can go to contests.For some people, dancing every single day and training for competitions is now more than a simple hobby - it is a lifestyle! There are so many talented dancers who have or had stunning performances, like Anna Pavlova, Martha Graham, Fred Astaire, Gene Kelly, and so on. There are too many to mention all of them.All in all, dancing will not only make you feel better and keep you fit. It can become your new passion! If you ever had a dream about being a dancer one day, you’d better go for it until it’s too late!

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Dance Me to the End Of Love

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Psych(o)

Emotional Intelligence What is it good for?

“Anyone can become angry- that is easy. But to be angry with the right person, to the right degree, at the right time, for the right purpose, and in the right way- this is not easy.”

Aristotle, Nicomachean Ethics

Some call it Emotional Intelligence (EI), others, resilience. Nevertheless, it is an omnipresent concept that was first used in the present day acceptance in the work of a re-searcher called Wayne Payne, in 1985 (there was a prior use of the term in the work of Leuner, in 1966, who spoke about emotional intelligence and emancipation). After that, it was used by Mayer & Salovey (1990) and then made very popular by Daniel Goleman, in 1995. Since then, it has become one of the most studied concepts in modern day psychology. A simple search on Amazon Books gives some 12.000 results on this concept alone and some 13.600.000 results on Google Search Engine. Not to mention the pleth-ora of other possible combinations, such as social intel-ligence, emotions, feelings, etc. So why is this happening? Is it really that important? Have we lived in total denial for several thousand years? Actually,no. We knew this long before psychologist “discovered” it and named it. Aristotle said it best in his book on ethics (see the starting quote). He pointed out that we don’t have to be slaves to our emotions, and that we can identify and control them. So where then can we lay the concept of emotional intel-ligence? What is it good for? Perhaps a definition would be useful. Since I mentioned the two so called “opposing” approaches, Mayer & Salovey, on one side and Goleman, on the other side, their definitions will then try to enlighten us. Mayer & Salovey (1990) state that EI is “the ability that allows a person to identify and monitor their own emotions and those of others, as well as the ability to guide its’ own thoughts and actions”. Goleman, on the other hand, states that EI is “the ability to control stress and negative emo-tions; a meta-ability that controls how effective we are in controlling the other abilities that we have”. For more recent definitions of this concept, see Roberts & Zeidner

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(2001), Harms & Crede (2010), Antonakis & Dietz (2011). So what is EI? Is it ability? Is it a trait? Are we born with it or do we develop it in time? You will probably find both of these approaches, and a third one saying that things are somewhere in the middle. This is not exactly unusual. Be-cause in a world as complex as we live in, there are very few certainties. And certainly EI is not one of them. In fact, we know better what exactly EI does not measure than what it does measure. Scientific definitions aside, the both sides state that, in order to be(have) emotional intelligent, you must cover 4 or 5 stages:

1) Identifying and knowing your emotions2) Managing your emotions3) Identifying others’ emotions4) Managing others’ emotions 5) (in some cases, such as Salovey’s model) self-mo-tivating

For a simpler approach, let’s stick to a four stages model. So, all you have to do is (1) know your emotions; (2) control them; (3) know the emotions of those you interact with and (4) control their emotions. Well, easier said than done. Let’s start with the first step. Know your emotions. The Greeks have said it, and then the Romans took it and trans-lated it into the world renowned “Nosce te ipsum”. And since thousands of years, not much has changed. Yet the quote is so simple. I believe that one major problem is the fact that, although we spend so much time with ourselves (at least physically speaking), we do not actually spend enough time with really knowing ourselves. And why is that, one might ask?Because of fear or some cultural taboos?We are all familiar with the fact that in many cultures boys are taught not to cryand girls to repress their feelings when they are not “appropri-ate”. Yet who decides which feelings are “appropriate” and which ones are not? Society perhaps? Or a code of con-duct? Society teaches us to repress, psychologist tell us to express. Emotional intelligence is, then, knowing to identify a cer-tain feeling and naming it. Most of us certainly lack the much needed emotional vocabulary that helps us function in the society. And this emotional vocabulary is almost

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Mirabela Dan

similar and as important as language and communication.We don’t expect a child to be able to grow up and live in this world without a basic vocabulary. So why then do we expect them to be able to function without an emotional one? Think for just one minute how many words do you know that describe emotions. You’ll discover that the list is quite short. Also, think about how many hours of emotional education you’ve had. Again, the number will be very short to none. So there is no wonder that we lack even the most basic emotional vocabulary and definitions. The good news though is that emotions can be learned. You can learn to identify them and later control. And not in a Machiavellian way, because this also exists. There is a so called “dark side” of emotional intelligence. As it can be in every aspect of life. A first step consists in actually setting some daily time for you, for getting to know yourself, for getting to talk to yourself. And I emphasize the word DAILY. Just as you don’t expect to see any results after a couple of hours of physical training (except perhaps for some muscle fever), don’t expect to see any results after reading some “Holy Grail” book or some most innovative EI development training. I do not believe in easy solutions to a problem. And I don’t believe in “three steps” of “five steps” books to something: “three steps to happiness”, “five steps to EI” and “seven steps to opening the water faucet”. No book will do that for you. And no training will help you become an expert in EI or any other area in just a couple of days. You only need common sense to understand that you are being lied to. Or, in this case, you need emotional intel-ligence. To conclude the former statements, I do believe in hard, continuous work. That can involve lots of readings, ques-tioning, socializing, discovering through trial and error, making mistakes and learning from them, and so on. With the risk of repeating myself, I suggest setting aside some 15 minutes, of half an hour, every day, for you. And in this time, ask yourself the following questions: What am I feel-ing right now?; What have I felt throughout this day?; What have I felt the last days? Be very critic with you. Don’t accept any answer. Go for the honest one, even if you don’t always like it. After you find out what your feelings are, try to see whyyou are feeling that way. Always, you will find a thought or an idea behind your feelings. Try not to blame others or yourself, or the

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world for your emotions. Rather, see what your thoughts are. And change those that don’t help you. This part is con-trolling your emotions. And it actually works. Changing your thinking pattern into a more adaptive one and adapting it will lead to long term positive results and emotions. For more details on these concepts, look for cognitive behav-ior theory. And, last but not least, try to see how you can change the thoughts that are not useful into more useful or adaptive ones. And, along with them, your emotions will change. And you will experience more rewarding and mean-ingful emotions. Knowing other people’s feeling comes after we have identi-fied and controlled ours. The same way we can’t expect to understand someone before we know his/her language (or at least some nonverbal cues), the same way we cannot-pretend to be able to identify and control his/her feelings. And, most of the time, the easiest way to know someone’s feelings is to simply ask. Yet, we often make the mistake to assume that we know exactly what they think or feel. And, most of the times, to assume translates into ASSUME. As in, to make an ASS of U and ME. So, when you are uncertain about the way someone feels, simply ASK. You will receive an answer and you will also show that you care about that person’s feelings. Of course, here there are also tons of books that will teach you how to “read” someone. Be, once again, emotional in-telligent, and see the fact that you are the one being read and manipulated. Someone smart has seen your need for shortcuts and promised to provide you with the much need-ed “three to five steps” solutions. Which, of course, don’t exist. Tenths of years of scientific research and psycholo-gists still can’t “read” people’s minds. Sorry to shatter this myth. But this is all there is to it. If you want an easier way, simply open your mouth and ask. The same way you asked yourself about your feelings and emotions, ask those around you. If it worked for you, it will work for others too.So, what do we do with this concept of emotional intel-ligence? Do we try to develop it? Do we find a use for it? Personally, I think that it is a too large concept, that it encompasses too many smaller concepts. Think of it as an umbrella, if you like. That has underneath concepts such as communication, negotiation, emotions, social abilities, personal values and pretty much everything you can think

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Sebastian Vaida

of. And that gives its’ difficulty. Because it’s not one con-cept, or 5, or 10. It’s a constellation of concepts under a single name. So starting from this concept of emotional intelligence, I believe there is a more appropriate one, that also touches several concepts (yet not so many as EI does), with similar or even better results. And that is called SELLS. And it’s an acronym for Social Emotional Learning and Life Skills.

More on that can be found on www.casel.com. Or in a fu-ture article.

[email protected]

Selected Reading

Antonakis, J., & Dietz, J. (2011b). More on Testing for Va-lidity Instead of Looking for It. Personality and Individual Differences, 50(3), 418-421.Goleman, D. (1998). Working with emotional intelligence. New York: Bantam Books.Harms, P. D.; Credé, M. (2010). “Remaining Issues in Emo-tional Intelligence Research: Construct Overlap, Method Artifacts, and Lack of Incremental Validity”. Industrial and Organizational Psychology: Perspectives on Science and Practice3 (2): 154–158. Leuner, B. (1966). Emotional intelligence and emancipa-tion. Praxis der Kinderpsychologie und Kinderpsychiatrie, 15, 193-203.Payne, W.L. (1983/1986). A study of emotion: developing emotional intelligence; self-integration; relating to fear, pain and desire. Dissertation Abstracts International, 47, p. 203A (University microfilms No. AAC 8605928)Roberts, R.D., Zeidner, M., & Matthews, G. (2001). Does emotional intelligence meet traditional standards for an intelligence? Some new data and conclusions. Emotion, 1, 196–231Salovey, P., & Mayer, J.D. (1990). Emotional intelligence. Imagination, Cognition, and Personality, 9, 185-211.

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