BY ANDREW PUDEWA AND WOODY ROBERTSON

TEACHING

B O Y S

In church, they’re the ones constantly swinging their legs from the edges of the pew or driving Tonka trucks over the backs of chairs (and the occasional unfortunate lady’s hair). They touch everything on grocery store displays, accidentally run into unsuspecting shoppers, and play out battles in the canned goods aisle.

In school, they’re the ones with poor behavior reports and even poorer grades, the ones who leave both parents and teachers baffled.

THEY’RE BOYS.

In all fairness, there is a reason for their behavior. Aside from the obvious characteristics, there are biological and neurological differences that cause boys to learn, behave, and process information differently than their female counterparts.

Many of these differences were discovered through research by pediatrician Dr. Leonard Sax.

In his practice, Sax noted a high number of moms bringing their boys in with notes from the school suggesting their sons receive treatment for ADD.

After an evaluation, Dr. Sax determined that the boys did not have ADD and sent them away without medication. A few weeks later, the same mom and son would return to his office, holding yet another note from the school, asking for a re-evaluation.

Taking note of this trend, Dr. Sax wondered if teachers and school staff knew what he had discovered about the learning differences between boys and girls.

He began visiting schools and asking if teachers were familiar with his research. He discovered two things:

1. No one had heard of the research.

2.Peoplewereoffendedbytheideathat boysandgirlswerenotperfectlyequal ineveryway.

THE GREAT ADD MYSTERY

The study inspired him to write several books and begin The Foundation for Single Sex Education in order to distribute his findings.

What were the physiological differences he discovered, and how can they help home school parents?

HEARING

Moms often joke that their sons have “selective hearing,” but the truth is, boysaregeneticallywiredtotuneintosoundsatamuchhigherdecibelthan girls.

Cochlear testing at birth has shown most girls hear sounds 3 decibels lower than most boys. Also, a study of toddlers using acoustic brain imaging — a non-intrusive picture of brain activity — showed that, even as they age, girls respond to sounds 10 decibels softer than the sounds boys respond to.

These hearing differences continue into adulthood as well. A study evaluating how much of the brain is used while listening to audiobooks determined that women use both sides of the brain when listening, while men use only the dominant side.

Boys’ brains do not respond to sounds in the same way as girls’. As a result, boys actually require comparatively louder, more boisterous environments to thrive. While girls recoil and feel “yelled at,” boys feel as though they are given the attention they need.

SIGHT

Another significant difference: boys’ eyes contain more action and movement processing cells (M cells), whereas girls’ eyes contain more cells that process color and texture (P cells). This means boysaremoreattentivetomotion,andgirlsaremoreattunedtodetailsandbeauty.

This visual distinction can be seen in even the youngest children. As soon as they’re old enough to grasp a crayon, girls are drawing horses, flowers, and families with vivid color and detail. Boys, in contrast, can be found drawing action scenes: flying arrows, burning houses, or a punting football player. Often these drawings are done in one color — likely black.

Because boys are most attune to action, this is reflected in their writing as well. Well-meaning teachers can squelch a young boy’s creativity by suggesting the boy use more color or details, then going on to praise girls who add several colors and details to their drawings. Eventually, boys discover what the teacher likes, realize it’s not what they like, and decide to quit drawing.

This stylistic difference eventually leads to boys’ disengagement from other areas of academia as well. As they begin writing, boys tend to focus on adverbs. After all, they are motion-conscious! Most teachers, however, look for strong adjectives, encouraging boys to write using more noun descriptors. Once again, boys are discouraged because their style and interests aren’t appreciated.

Of course, you want to encourage good writing habits, but rather than pushing him into a box, help your boy find ways to express himself the way he sees the world, through motion and action.

STRESS

While stressful events give men an adrenaline rush, women often shut down. In fact, the most dramatic response to stress, the “fight or flight” reaction, is seen only in males.

In males, stress activates the sympathetic nervous system, increasing heart rate and blood flow. This response is regulated by standing and moving, raising the core body temperature.

In females, the opposite is true. During periods of stress, the parasympathetic system takes over. When this happens, women experience a decrease in heart rate, blood flow, and temperature. These symptoms are regulated by sitting or lying down.

You can see this demonstrated by in the way boys react to stress as opposed to girls.

Whenaboyisupset,youknowit. They’re probably yelling, kicking at walls, or maybe even throwing things.

Girls, on the other hand, tend to retreat. When a girl is upset, you’ll likely find her buried under blankets, sniffing back tears, and insisting that “nothing” is wrong.

School can be stressful for boys (and all children, really). Telling a boy to “sit down and do his math” may be asking a boy whose stressed system is already on alert to do two things he can’t do at the same time. This being the case, mostboysthinkbestwhilestanding.You’d probably see more academic success if you ordered him to do his math while standing at the kitchen counter.

One school saw great success after setting up gender-segregated classrooms. The segregation of students allowed teachers to conduct classes in a style that worked best for their students.

For instance, one all-boys teacher made chairs optional in his classroom. Boys in this classroom were allowed to study standing at their desk, sitting at their desk, sitting under their desk, wherever they wanted!

As a result, this teacher saw a 50% increase in test scores.

Traditional school experiences have programmed us to believe we must sit in a quiet, upright position at our desks to ensure proper learning. However, even sitting up and listening may be too much for some students.

After all, the primary function of the ear isn’t hearing. It’s balance. While a child’s nervous system is still developing, sitting up and listening may be two things they can’t do simultaneously.

When children are truly listening, their center of gravity may drop. They may listen best when flopped on the floor or some other position that isn’t traditionally associated with listening.

In fact, some children have very delicate vestibular (inner ear) systems, and this could cause them to be “out of sync” with the world. While some of this may be willful disobedience, many issues are caused by a neurological system that is not functioning properly. To better understand how your child’s ability to learn may be affected, check out The Out of Sync Child by Carol Kranowitz , an insightful book that will not only help you understand your child, but also how to help them properly process the input they are receiving. While this book focuses on more serious issues like ADD and Autism Spectrum Disorders, there are also many valuable resources for parents of neurotypical students who struggle with learning as well.

TEMPERATURE

How many times have you heard a boy insist “Mommmm. I don’t need a coat”?

The truth is, they may not need that coat.

There is a 6-degree temperature difference between the optimal learning temperature for boys and girls (68 degrees for boys and 73-74 for girls). That’s a pretty big difference!

When boys are stressed, a cooler temperature allows them to cope. This goes back to their natural responses to stress: guys go into “fight or flight mode,” whereas girls tend to shut down (both physically and emotionally).

This presents a predicament: If the temperature is too hot, boys can’t deal with stress, but if girls become too cold, they find it impossible to think. This difference can wreak havoc in the classroom.

PAIN

A study testing men’s and women’s reactions to pain determined in 100% of men, pain caused increased blood flow to the brain; whereas in 100% of women, blood flow to the brain decreased in the midst of pain.

More or less, boys gain a high from pain. This is why they are constantly hitting, slapping, and wrestling with each other. In a sense, they actually enjoy the pain. Boys often need movement, and even pain, to keep them engaged in what they are doing.

OPTIMIZING EDUCATION FOR BOYS

Here are a few tips for optimizing your son’s education:

1.Speaklouder and be more animated when teaching boys. This may feel unnatural, but it’s the best way to capture a boy’s attention. 2.Encourageboystoexpressthemselvesin a way that makes sense to them. Notice the “action” in your son’s art and writing, and encourage him in those areas.3.Helpthemdealwithstress.Notice when your son is acting out of stress and help him deal with it in a constructive manner. Make changes, when possible, to help alleviate the stress.4.Provideoutlets like running laps outside, lifting weights, or even yard work to help your son blow off steam.5.Don’ttiethemtoadesk!Experiment with letting your son study standing up, sitting under his desk, or in a location that makes sense to both of you. 6.Payattentiontotheroomtemperature.Even a few degrees can make a big difference.

WHAT’S HAPPENING TO TODAY’S BOYS?

There’s a “Peter Pan” epidemic today. Boys are not stepping up and taking responsibility for their academics or, more importantly, their transition into adulthood.

Boys were designed to move and do. Cramming young boys in school can be the worst thing for them. They need time to move and explore the world. Frequently, boys whose entry in school was delayed a year or two ended up far surpassing their peers academically.

Take your children on field trips. Let them experience their learning. Focus on the quality of the learning over the quantity. True learning takes place when the interest is piqued.

Therearethreemajorwaystohelpboyswhenitcomestotheireducation:

1.PursueAreasofInterest

Every student needs to learn “the basics,” like algebra, biology, and lots of writing. Computer skills are important as well, along with a typing speed of at least 40-50 WPM and a familiarity with Microsoft Office products.

However, for subjects other than writing and math, which should be continued throughout school, try a modular approach to education. With a modular approach, one subject is covered at a time and studied intensively for a few months; then, once the subject is mastered, the student starts the next subject.

2.BuildCreativity

It’s no secret that today’s youth spend large quantities of time in front of screens. While there is some value to things learned from a screen, boys need time to be active and use their imaginations as well.

MAKE LEARNING REAL

Give them the gift of a few “unplugged” hours every day. Encourage them to read books, build tree forts, do science experiments in the garage (or not!), or dive into dog training with their new puppy. Time away from screens will foster a sense of creativity and adventure that can’t be developed by a flashing screen.

3.ProvideReal-LifeApplication

Teach your children to change the oil in a car, cook dinner, properly run a load of laundry, or properly care for the lawn. Then give them a chore that is “theirs.” Let them take ownership and responsibility while developing their problem-solving ability. This sense of responsibility will be invaluable as they seek employment in the future.

KEEP THE GOAL IN MIND

When polled, a group of executives made a list of the skills and qualities they looked for in a new hire. Some of the top skills included: critical thinking, communication, and the ability to collaborate. Social media skills ranked toward the bottom of the list.

While the “3R’s” are vital, don’t neglect responsibility and critical thinking! Be sure your student is gaining the practical skills employers really want.

RELEVANCY

One reason boys tend not to enjoy school is because they feel as though the information they’re learning has nothing to do with anything they actually care about. It’s irrelevant.

How can you make your student’s studies feel relevant? To answer this question, we’ll discuss the four types of relevancy in order from best to worst.

1.IntrinsicRelevancy

This is the kind of relevancy that comes from something being interesting “just because.” This is the best kind of interest to unleash in your student.

Instead of focusing only on areas of no interest whatsoever, hone in on those places where your son is already interested.

Does your son love history, battles, and swords? Pursue that interest! Let him explore history books, take him to reenactments, and do everything you can to propel that interest and learning. This is where true learning takes place.

Howyoulearnisfarmorevaluablethanwhatyoulearn.

In the early years, we tend to focus on creativity, but as students grow older, we push them to conform

to an educational mold, telling them precisely what classes they must take and where they must excel academically. We convince them they must take certain classes to help them get into college, which will allow them to make money as an adult.

We have it backward.

Students (especially older ones) should be encouraged to pursue their interests and passions, and fully use their creativity throughout their educational experience.

After all, what’s better than helping them spark their interest and develop a love of learning? This will prepare them much better for a future career than forcing them into classes with no relevance whatsoever to their adult life.

Now is the time to spark the interests your children will carry throughout life. Encourage your students to find topics that excite them, teach in a way that allows their learning to revolve around these topics, and remember that no student will ever know everything about everything.

2.InspiredRelevancy

You may not be interested in a particular subject, but someone can inspire you to be interested in that topic. When someone is truly enamored by something, it’s almost impossible not to catch their enthusiasm. Excitement about a subject reverberates and resonates throughout their teaching.

If you’re struggling to teach or gather enthusiasm for a subject, find someone who loves that subject and send your children to them for instruction. That geometry class, your nemesis since day one, might bring joy and jubilation to another homeschool mom.

Exposure to that mentoring is vital. This allows your student to catch an enthusiasm for things that don’t naturally interest you. Begin a network of moms who can share subject loads based on enthusiasm for given topics.

3.ContrivedRelevancy

When students aren’t naturally excited about something, and you can’t find anyone to spark their interest, you can turn it into a game. However, you can’t just make a consequence-free game out of learning and expect students to take the bait.

For example, if your student writes a paper with spelling mistakes and you know they can find them, rather than just handing the paper back for correction, give them a challenge.

When you hand the paper back to them say: “I found 7 mistakes in here, and I know you can find them too. I’ll give you a quarter for every mistake you find. But, I’ll charge you a quarter for each one you miss.”

Suddenly, the game becomes real.

When you play a game with your student, not only do they need motivation to win, they need an incentive to not lose either. This is why you don’t just promise a reward if they win, but also include a consequence if they lose.

There are rules to creating games:

Kidshavetobeabletowinthegame. If they can win some of the time, even if they lose most of the time, they’ll be willing to play. Kids will quit if they know they can’t win.

AmotivationalsystemmusthaveapotentialgainANDloss. If a student decides the motivator isn’t worth the work required to earn it, he’ll just quit. However, if there’s a consequence as well, he’ll be motivated to not receive the consequence.

Be sure contrived games follow these guidelines. Otherwise, students may not become motivated.

4.EnforcedRelevancy

This least motivating kind of relevancy comes when you say, “you must study to get good grades on your transcript, to get into college, to have a good life, etc....”

This form of relevancy is almost entirely irrelevant unless it’s a necessity and should be avoided at all cost.

LAWS OF MOTIVATION

1. Kids like to do what they can do.

2. Kids like to do what they think they can do.

3. Kids do what they’re good at.

4. If kids do what they’re good at, they’ll be motivated to get better.

5. Children hate and will refuse to do what they think they cannot do.

It doesn’t matter if you think they can do it or not. Once a child is convinced they can’t do something, there is little changing their mind. If a kid believes he can’t do something, he won’t.

To encourage your student, it’s vital to spend 60-80% of the time letting them do what they’re good at, then 20-40% helping them improve in more challenging subject areas. Not only will this boost their confidence in their strong areas, it will prevent them from feeling discouraged.

If you apply this principle correctly, it will work. Begin encouraging your student to tackle the things they are good at, while gently pushing them to pursue tougher subject areas. Be sure you are laying a foundation of positivity and success, or they’ll resign themselves to “hating school” altogether.

THE ECONOMIC SYSTEM OF EMOTIONAL CAPITAL

No one likes correction. Even as adults, correction is hard. But we endure it. We know it’s good for us and we respect the person who brings the criticism to our attention.

When we offer someone criticism, we “deduct” emotional capital from their bank account. Conversely, “deposits” are made to an account when we offer praise or affection.

When you teach a child, you need to build their emotional bank account high enough to keep correction from devastating them. Ultimately, students need to know they are loved and appreciated. Then when the criticism comes, they will not feel emotionally depleted.

Step one in this process: smile. Smiling and beaming at someone makes it virtually impossible for them to resist you. When working with your student, give them a smile that lets them know you’re happy to see them. Take a moment to let them feel treasured before beginning your lesson.

Step two: provide positive reinforcement. Work to deposit 10 positive comments or observations before giving the first correction. This affirmation of your children should continue on a daily basis. You must, however, be sincere when you add to the emotional bank account. Kids quickly pick up on insincerity.

Both correction and criticism must be handled carefully and correctly or you will quickly have a very unmotivated child.

Even when you’re not in “school mode,” consciously take time every day to look into the eyes of each child and tell them how much you appreciate and love them. This will work wonders as you build relationship capital with your children.

The truth is, many of our long-held presumptions about college are simply no longer true. Time, the economy, and the sheer number of adults who hold college degrees have changed the education and employment landscape.

Acollegedegreeisnolongerthesolekeytosuccess.

There is a huge college-to-career gap for most young adults. Students lack soft skills like loyalty, responsibility, and even basic communication competencies needed to succeed in the real world.

While a degree is certainly still necessary for many careers and offers a filter for employers to screen potential hires, it’s not the ultimate key to gainful employment.

THE TRUTH ABOUT COLLEGE

It’s common to assume that students will figure out their life and career trajectory in college. However, this is simply not true.

When it comes to college counseling, there is little actual counseling occurring during these sessions. The average student receives two sessions with a counselor each year. During those sessions, most of the time is spent discussing available classes and scheduling, with only about 20 minutes spent on career guidance.

What arewepreparingstudentsfor?

The truth is, we have no idea what the world and job market will look like when today’s students reach employment age. The world has changed drastically in the last decade, and the rapid pace of change won’t be slowing down anytime soon.

While the world of technology is running full-tilt, our education system is still based on a system devised during the age of the Industrial Revolution, when it was necessary to train factory workers for assembly line-style jobs.

But the 21st-century job market calls for students who are creative and innovative, not just another cog in the industrial wheel. Today’s students need the ability to think on their feet, create original ideas, and express ideas articulately.

Today, the system is failing our students in droves. A recent survey, conducted by Hart Research Associates, revealed that many current C-suite executives believe college graduates are not prepared to enter the job market.

Beyond the educational barriers, young people are also contending with Baby Boomers who are postponing retirement past the traditional age of 65 and keeping their corporate positions, thus leaving fewer spots available on the corporate ladder.

Furthermore, the average person now works with a company for only 2-3 years. As a result, companies no longer see their employees as investments. A few decades ago, companies invested in an employee’s long-term growth and career advancement. Now professional growth and development is largely left up to the employee.

DIVERGENT THINKING

All this information leads us to the question: What is the point of school, anyway?

In 1968, a group of kindergarten students was tested on their ability to think divergently. Ninety-five percent of these children scored as exceptional divergent thinkers. The same group was tested ten years later and only 12% still tested high on their ability to think divergently.

Thecurrenteducationsystemtrainsstudentsinmemorizing,notthinking.

We’re trying to meet the future by replicating what we’ve done in the past. Because this system is archaic and irrelevant to today’s job market, students just don’t see the point.

From an early age, students discover that there’s just one right answer, and it’s found in the back of a textbook. This education model ignores the fact that most great learning happens in groups, and true learning takes place when someone is excited about a given topic.

Students need to be given the opportunity to think divergently and come up with answers themselves. After all, that is the heart of education: discovering how to be creative problem-solvers and deep thinkers.

While there’s no “one size fits all” magical key to education, finding the critical principles and goals for your student will go far in preparing them for life success.

CREATING A PRACTICAL EDUCATION

The world of homeschooling has come a long way in the past 20 years.

Translating the public school system into a home setting doesn’t work anymore. Student desks, a “teacher’s desk,” and structured class schedules, while not inherently wrong, have made their way into most home schools.

However,justputtingaChristianlabelonabrokeneducationsystemdoesnotfixtheproblem.

One study showed that only 54% of students who graduated from the classes of 2006–2011 are currently employed, and of that 54%, 65% are underemployed.

Clearly, the current education model is failing our students. What is it, then, that our students (both boys and girls) need to succeed in a 21st century economy?

•Practicallifeskills.Give your student the chance to hone skills like car maintenance, cooking essentials, and basic computer skills.

•Responsibility. Once your student has the hang of basic life skills, give them responsibilities to cultivate a spirit of ownership.

•RelevantLearning.Focus on their areas of interest and the subjects that pique their curiosity.

•AFullEmotionalBankAccount. Deposit love and affection into your child so corrections will not deplete their emotional “account.” Offer ten times more praise than correction.

•Creativity. Limit screen time and enforce “unplugged time” each day to provide an opportunity for creative outlets.

FOR FURTHER READING: Why Gender Matters - Dr. Leonard Sax

The Out of Sync Child - Carol Kranowitz and Lucy Jane Miller

Boys Adrift - Dr. Leonard Sax

How am I Smart? A Parent’s Guide to Multiple Intelligences - Dr. Kathy Koch

The Way They Learn - Cynthia Ulrich Tobias

ADDITIONAL RESOURCES:Life Purpose Planning - Dewey Novotny

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