Stop Bullying Boys Bullying Boys

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Stop Bullying (BoysBullying Boys)

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Table of ContentsHelp My Son Deal with a Bully

Stop My Son from Bullying

Help My Son Cope with Cyber Bullying

Get Help with Bullying from My Son's School

Boys Who Bully: What, When, Where, Why, and How

What Is Cyber Bullying and How Can I Protect My Son?

Bullying Information Resource List for Boys

Is He Teasing or Bullying?

Is My Son a Bully?

www.EduGuide.o2 ONLINE EDUGUIDE


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Stop Bullying (Boys Bullying Boys)Do I need this EduGuide?

Yes, if you are concerned about the effects of bullying on your sonwhether hes the victim or the bully. This EduGuide hasinformation about why boys bully, how they bully, and what you can do to stop this serious problem as quickly as possible.

How does it work?

l Quizzes help you know where you stand.l Articles give you the background information you need to make a decision.l ShortCuts help you take immediate action. Choose one or go through them all.

What will I learn?

l How to tell the difference between teasing and bullyingl How to help protect my son from bullying and keep him from being a bullyl How to recognize bullying on the Internet

Quick Solutions

l What can I do in fifteen minutes? Take the quiz Is He Teasing or Bullying? or Is My Son a Bully? l What can I do in an hour? Find a quiet time to ask your son if hes seen boys being bullied at school and what he thinks about

it. Then read and discuss Boys Who Bully: What, Where, When, Why, and How with him.

http://www.eduguide.org/Parents/Library/Detail/tabid/304/id/2350/Social-Violence-Boys-Bullying-Statistics.aspxhttp://www.eduguide.org/Parents/TakeQuiz/tabid/114/view/StepTakeQuiz/quizId/52/Default.aspxhttp://www.eduguide.org/Parents/TakeQuiz/tabid/114/view/StepTakeQuiz/quizId/51/Default.aspx


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Help My Son Cope with Cyber BullyingIf your son is being bullied over the Internet or through other kinds of information technology (that is, cyber bullied), take these steps.

l Contact the bullys parents. As calmly as possible, let them know about the bullying and describe its effects on your son.Explain that you will be contacting the school with the information about the cyber bullying. If the bullys parents dont seem tobe taking the problem seriously, add that you will notify the police if necessary.

l Change your sons email address, cell phone number, passwords, and so on. Make sure he understands that he is never togive his passwords to any of his friends no matter what the circumstances or how much he trusts hem. Once your son has anew cell phone number and email address, remind him to share them only with his close friends and his family.

l Contact the school. If both boys attend the same school and if the bullying has been going on for some time, tell schoolpersonnel what is happening. They may have some suggestions about ways to help. If they know about the problem, they canmonitor the bullys actions at school.

l Keep personal information private. Remind your son never to give out personal information over the Internetno exceptions.l Dont respond. If your teen receives a threatening message or experiences any other types of bullying behavior online or on his

cell phone, tell him not to respond. Explain that the bully is looking for a reaction, preferably one of distress or fear. By failing torespond, your son is taking away the bullys power.

l Dont forward. If your son receives an email or any other form of electronic communication about someone else that is hostileor defamatory, make sure he doesn' forward it to anyone. Remind him that if he does forward such communication, he couldfind himself in just as much trouble as the person who sent it to him. Your son should contact a responsible adult and showhim or her any communication that he feels is inappropriate.

l Keep records. Keep every example of cyber bullying that your son receives. Make sure the date and source of thecommunication are clear. Keep this information organized in an electronic or paper file (or both) to use as proof later if youneed to.

l Do your research. Search online or contact your local police department to find out what the cyber bullying laws are in your state. Many states are creating tougher laws to help kids understand the seriousness of cyber bullying.

l Join with other parents. Join an existing group focused on cyber bullying or form one to research and discuss this form of social violence and take steps to address it.



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Get Help with Bullying from My Son's SchoolIf your son is being bullied at school, there are actions you and the school can take to remedy the problem. Heres what you need toknow about getting help for your son and about school policies for preventing bullying.

Stop Bullying Now

l Set up a meeting. First meet with the appropriate teachers and the principal as soon as you can and have your child explainwhat is happening to him. If you dont think your concerns are being taken seriously enough, contact the school counselor andsuperintendent and meet with them.

l Take notes. At the meeting, record everything the school personnel promises to do. Before the meeting ends, repeat your list of expectations and make sure everyone agrees.

l Ask about the bully. Be sure the school is also meeting with the bully and his parents. Ask what type of punishment he willreceive and what the next step will be if the bullying happens again. Follow up to make sure the school is executing its plan.

l Consider counseling. If the school has a counselor on staff, have your son meet with him or her. You may want to be presentfor the first meeting and then let your son meet with the counselor independently. Also ask what type of counseling is availablefor the bully and suggest that the bullys parents be informed about counseling.

l Write a letter. If youve contacted the school and met with administrators and the bullying continues, write a letter to thesuperintendent and copy the teacher, principal, and counselor. Include copies of any evidence (notes, emails, photos) of thebullying.

l Be persistent. Be your sons advocate and do your best to protect him from the effects of bullying. Contact the administrators asmany times as necessary if your concerns are not being addressed and the problem continues.

l Be informed. Learn the anti-bullying laws in your state.l Contact the bullys parents. Discussing the problem with the bullys parents may be very helpful, but only if you are calm and

reasonable.l Find a safe person. Identify at least one person at school (a teacher, principal, or staff assistant) that your child can go to at any

time if he needs to.

Prevent Bullying before It Starts

l Bully prevention. Many schools have adopted bully prevention programs and have trained teachers to stop bullying before itstarts. Find out what type of training your school is providing.

l Training for parents. Are parents encouraged to be involved in bullying prevention? If not, suggest that the school bring in guestspeakers and conduct anti-bullying workshops for parents.

l Help for bystanders. Teaching kids to speak up and help when their classmates are being bullied is tough to do. Be sure your school offers training for all students so they know what to do if they witness bullying.

l Security. Be sure your school has working security cameras throughout the school that are checked regularly. In addition,school personnel should routinely check hallways and bathrooms to make sure all areas of the school are safe.

l Shop around. If youre researching new schools, do your homework before you meet with administrators. Look for schools andteachers who reward children for being kind and have zero tolerance for bullying. Ask specific questions about bullying, suchas What is your policy on bullying? and How are kids who bully punished?

http://stopbullyingnow.hrsa.gov/kids/


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Boys Who Bully: What, When, Where, Why, and HowBullying is the most frequently occurring form of violence in American schools. Just about everyone has known a bully at school, butuntil the recent epidemic of school violence, few adults took bullying seriously. Since then, researchers, educators, administrators,and parents have been taking a close look at bullying and its effects on children.

Many elementary through high school students experience bullying and other kinds of social violence daily. Bullying statistics showthat as many as half of all children are bullied at some point in a school year, and at least ten percent are bullied regularly (seewww.aacap.org ). In addition, according to the Kaiser Family Foundation, bullying is the biggest school problem for kids ages eight tofifteen, surpassing even alcohol, drugs, racism, and premarital sex.

What Is Teasing?

Teasing is usually playful, and the kids involved are most often of the same social status, so there is no imbalance of power. Teasingincludes occasional peer conflictoften unintentional. Kids who tease are willing to work together to resolve the conflict.

What Is Bullying?

Most experts agree that bullying has the following characteristics:

l Bullying is a relationship in which one individual seeks to gain power and control over the life of another.l Bullying comprises repeated intentional actions that bring harm to an individual.l Bullying involves an imbalance of power between the bully and victim.l Types of bullying include verbal taunting, threats, stealing, and acts of physical aggression.

It may be difficult for you to figure out whether your child is exaggerating harmless teasing. To learn how well you can recognize thedifferences between bullying and teasing, take EduGuides quiz Is He Teasing or Bullying?

Look for the following evidence if you suspect your son is a victim of bullying:

l Change in appetite or eating habitsl Loss of interest in school and schoolwork with or without a drop in gradesl Difficulty going to sleep or staying asleep (insomnia)l Frequent stomachaches, headaches, or other reasons to stay home from schooll Sudden withdrawal from family activitiesl Change from seeming happy and secure to moody and depressedl Torn or blood-stained clothesl Change in the group he usually hangs out with, especially if his friends suddenly stop coming aroundl Sudden need for extra money for school lunchesl Increased anxietyl Spending more time on the computer and not wanting anyone to see what hes doing online

Any one of these behaviors by itself may not be cause for alarm. But several of them combined could signal that your son needs your help, so start asking him some questions. Left unchecked, boys who are bullied over time can suffer serious problems throughouttheir lives.

Why Do Boys Bully?

http://www.eduguide.org/Parents/TakeQuiz/tabid/114/view/StepTakeQuiz/quizId/51/Default.aspxhttp://www.aacap.org/


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What Is Cyber Bullying and How Can I Protect My Son?Cyber bullying, using the Internet, cell phones, or other forms of information technology to bully others, is an easy way for boys to bullyother boys and put teens at risk. While most boys use the Internet for friendly communication, cyber bullyin is on the rise. Cyber bulliesmay use the internet to send intimidating and threatening emails to others, create hostile Web sites, post inaccurate andembarrassing information in blogs, ignore kids who send them messages, and pose as people other than themselves in chat rooms.Cyber bullies may also upload embarrassing photos of their victims online and through cell phones.

Cyber bullying is just as cruel as name calling, exclusion, prank calls, and other traditional forms of bullying, and its consequencescan be just as horrifying. Heres one sad example. Recently a teenage boy from Vermont committed suicide after being bullied online.Another boy pretended to be his friend, and when the first boy shared some personal information about himself, the bully turned thestory around and spread rumors that the teenager was gay. To stop the rumors, the Vermont teen started dating a girl from hisschool online. The two chatted all summer over the Internet, but on the first day of school when he approached the girl in front of her friends, she laughed and told him he was a loser she wanted nothing to do with. The bullying and humiliation were too much for theVermont teen, and he killed himself.

Understanding why kids cyber bully is the first step in figuring out how to prevent this devastating form of bullying. Here are somereasons boys may be drawn to cyber bullying:

l As with traditional bullying, kids who cyber bully feel a need to control others. And the Internet is an easy way to gain control.Kids (especially teens) also use the Internet and cell phones to take out their anger and get revenge on other kids.

l When teens have nothing constructive to do, the Internet is an easy place to look forand findtrouble.l Some kids think tormenting other people online is fun, and they enjoy the reaction they get from their victims.l Cyber bullies enjoy the safety and anonymity of numbersthey can bully in groups without ever seeing their victim face to face.

To avoid having your son become a cyber bully or the victim of one, keep the lines of communication open so that you know what isgoing on in his life. In addition, as difficult as it may be, you must monitor what your son is doing online and with his cell phone.



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Bullying Information Resource List for BoysWeb Sites, Books, and More

EduGuide Staff

Many resources are available to help boys who are being bullied. Here are some of the best Web sites, books, and other resources.

Bullying Web Sites

l bullying.org Founded by father and teacher Bill Belsey in response to the school shootings in Littleton, Colorado, and Taber,Alberta, this is the leading site on the internet for bullying information. It has three goals: to help people understand that theyare not alone, that being bullied is not the victims fault, and that there are many successful strategies for dealing with bullies.

l easingtheteasing.com The works of certified social worker and author Judy Freedman are featured on this site, which alsogives access to all her programs, information, and workshops.

l education.com This Web site includes a special edition devoted to bullying and cyber bullying. It includes numerous articles onbullying of both younger and older kids, the different types of bullying, and bullying in many different situations.

l stopbullyingnow.org This U.S. Department Health and Human Services site is designed to attract kids of all ages. Users candownload anti-bullying podcasts, cartoons about bullying, and a Stop Bullying Now mobile ring tone.

l stopcyberbullying.org New technologies create new ways for kids to bully. Get strategies for prevention, tips, and informationabout online bullying.

l nasponline.org Find information about CyberSmart! Cyber Bullying Awareness Curriculum, a free program for educators. Thisprogram facilitates the prevention of cyber bullying and helps provide outreach to families and communities.

Books on Bullying

l Schools Where Everyone Belongs by Stan Davis This book is designed for educators and parents to help create a safe andinclusive environment at school.

l The Brand New Kid by Katie Couric This book for young kids was inspired by Courics childhood memories and by theColumbine school shootings. Through this story, Couric challenges parents to stop excusing mean-spirited behavior andinstead teach children to be kind and tolerant.

Other Help with Bullying

l Friendship semin ars These very effective seminars are becoming more popular in schools throughout the country. Check withyour childs school to see if they have considered a friendship seminar, or look on-line to find out how to bring one to your school.

l Friends Who Ca re This award-winning disability-awareness curriculum is designed to help sensitize nondisabled students totheir peers with disabilities. The program includes a teacher guide, video, and several posters. You may be able to obtain acopy from your local library, or contact The National Easter Seals Society, 70 East Lake Street, Chicago, IL 60601, (312) 726-6200.

http://bullying.org/http://www.easingtheteasing.com/index.htmlhttp://stopbullyingnow.hrsa.gov/kids/http://nasponline.org/http://nasponline.org/http://stopcyberbullying.org/http://stopbullyingnow.hrsa.gov/kids/http://www.education.com/http://www.easingtheteasing.com/index.htmlhttp://bullying.org/


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Due to the dynamic nature of our quizzes, they are only available on the web. Follow the addresses below to take a quiz on our website.

Is He Teasing or Bullying?

http://www.eduguide.org/Parents/TakeQuiz/tabid/114/quizId/51/view/StepTakeQuiz/Default.aspx

Is My Son a Bully?

http://www.eduguide.org/Parents/TakeQuiz/tabid/114/quizId/52/view/StepTakeQuiz/Default.aspx

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http://www.eduguide.org/Parents/TakeQuiz/tabid/114/quizId/52/view/StepTakeQuiz/Default.aspxhttp://www.eduguide.org/Parents/TakeQuiz/tabid/114/quizId/51/view/StepTakeQuiz/Default.aspx

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