Talk About What You Want, Not What You Don’t

Declaration

Today, I choose to speak in terms of what I want, not what I don’t. When I speak in terms of what I

don’t want, I get mired in the negative with no focus on a solution–a sure recipe for staying stuck.

When I speak of what I want, I state an intention and set a goal in motion. So today, when I find myself

rehashing the things that frustrate, irritate, or scare me, I will interrupt myself mid-sentence and say,

“Yeah, I get all that. But what is it that you want?”

Key Points

Negative words create negative emotion. Negative emotion narrows your scope of

thinking and makes it harder to move in a positive direction.

Instead of complaining, what request could you make?

Your words can give life to your dreams or kill them.

It is so easy to get stuck in a rut of talking about what you don’t want.

 The negative is more powerful than the positive, and oftentimes we unthinkingly punctuate the

negative by speaking it—not just once, but repeatedly. You may find yourself explaining your

problem over and over again to different friends, colleagues, or family members. You may repeat the

negatives you’ve heard others say about a situation. Frustrated by the obstacle in front of you, you

may find yourself ruminating about it—not just mentally, but verbally as well. And the more you

verbalize the problem, the bigger it becomes. The bigger it becomes, the more fearful and anxious

you become.

Your words have power. Are you using that power to get stuck or to become unstoppable? You

are either doing one or the other.

To be clear, I do not suggest you pretend a problem does not exist by refusing to mention it.

Pretending won’t make it go away. But don’t magnify it by overstating it or speaking about it in ways

that weaken you rather than strengthen you. Instead, be very conscious of your words. Intentionally

speak about obstacles or stumbling blocks in a way that empowers you to take control and improve

the situation. Speak of it in ways that honor God’s power to help you overcome the obstacles. Speak

of it in a way that affirms the type of person you want to be in the face of a challenge. Talk about

what you want, not what you don’t.

Talking about what you want focuses your mind on the outcome you desire rather than the one

you fear and dread. As a result, your energy is focused on the positive and you more naturally move

toward it. Talking about what you want feels different. It breathes life into your situation,

illuminating the positive possibilities rather than the negative ones.

Here’s how you do it. Measure your words about the challenges and obstacles you face by your

answers to these three questions:

Do my words point to what I want to see happen?

Do they acknowledge my power (however small or large) to effect change?

Do they acknowledge God’s power or what God wants for me?

Consider for a moment your relationships, finances, health, and work life. In each area, the

following are examples of using your words to talk about what you want versus what you don’t.

Relationship Ruts

I want peace in our relationship vs. I’m so tired of arguing with you.

I want to feel secure in your love for me vs. You are so untrustworthy.

It is important to me to feel heard vs. You never listen.

I love how it feels when you touch me vs. You are never affectionate.

Money Monsters

I want to have enough vs. I’m tired of being broke.

I need to increase my income vs. They won’t give me a raise.

I am climbing out of credit card debt vs. I am drowning in credit card debt.

Career Cloggers

I want to find work I enjoy vs. I hate my job.

I am looking forward to successfully finishing this project vs. I am dreading this project.

I’m looking for the lesson in this situation I’m going through at work vs. I never get the

promotion.

Health Hang-ups

I’m learning to eat healthier vs. I can’t help eating sweets/pasta/fried foods.

I am doing my best to stay healthy vs. I’m coming down with a cold.

I’m experimenting with ways to enhance my appearance vs. I hate how I look.

Acknowledge What’s Really Going On

Rather than resisting, pretending you aren’t stuck, stalling, or procrastinating, say it out loud: “I’m

stuck, stalling, and procrastinating! Now, what do I want?” Assuming you want to move forward,

you need to redirect your thoughts and energy toward what you want. Say it out loud: “I want to take

a walk to get my exercise in for the day. I want to speak up and tell that person what I need. I want to

start that project and move toward my dream. I want __________.” The tongue has the power of life

and death (Proverbs 18:21). So stop what you are doing. Breathe. Then close your eyes and meditate

on what you want. Envision yourself doing it right now—without fanfare, without struggle. Naturally

and with ease, see yourself moving forward. The next step is simple: Move forward! Once you

redirect your thoughts, it is only natural to redirect your actions.

Get Moving!

Negative words and emotions are powerful, and it’s important to make sure they don’t overpower the

positives. In what current situations do you need to begin speaking words of life, hope, and truth?

Prayer

My words are powerful, God. In fact, Your Word promises the power of life and death are in my

tongue. Show me where my words are hindering my progress. At times, I have used my words to

contradict Your Word—doubting Your promises and believing that somehow Your promises

apply to others, but not to me. Today, I ask You to remove all doubt. Make me bold in my speech.

Make my words reflect an unwavering belief in Your supernatural power to move mountains and

transform my life. Speak through me in a way that blesses others. Speak through me a

breakthrough, a renewed life, an unstoppable spirit. Thank You for blessing me with this

amazing power—my words. Now, help me stop misusing the power and start using it for the

purpose for which You gave it to me—to bring life. Amen