Supplement: Communication Styles - On Target Seminars

Communicating With Style!

Copyright © 2002-2007 by Rick Rumford and On Target Developmental Resources. All right reserved. 1

Supplement: Communication

Styles



This information from the On Target Communicating with Style Program is being provided as supplemental information for those individuals who participated in the Dealing with Difficult People Workshop conducted at the Michael E. DeBakey VA Medical Center in Houston, Texas on February 8, 2007.

It is intended only for their personal use. In all other regards and in accordance with the copyright, this information may not be reproduced or electronically shared with others who were not participants in the in the training workshop.

For information on how others can obtain their own copy, please direct inquiries to:

Rick Rumford OnTargetSeminars.com Phone: 713-729-7149 e-mail: [email protected] or [email protected]

Note:

• If you are interested in the Self Assessment, turn to page 16.

• For an explanation of the Styles that we discussed in class, turn to page 23.



Improving Your Communication Skills In this section we will introduce the Adaptive Communication Matrix™, a powerful communication tool that will enable you to communicate more effectively with every person you encounter. In this section you will learn:

1. Your communication style preference

2. How to recognize the style preferences of others

Everyone has a communication style that they are most comfortable with. However, every individual adapts, or modifies, his or her style based upon the situation. Using the Adaptive Communication Matrix™, you will gain a greater understanding of your communication preferences and how you already adapt your style and how you can adapt it more effectively.

While no one communication style is utilized 100% of the time, it is possible to recognize an individual’s communication style and take steps to communicate with that person in a way that is more likely to create understanding and meet the spoken and unspoken needs of the other individual.

Additionally, by recognizing and understanding your own communication style, you can make an informed decision about how you utilize your own communication style.

A word about Adapting:

Adapting your communication style is not about changing who you are nor is it about changing your intended message. Adapting your communication style choice is only about conveying your intended message in the manner that the other person is going to be best able to receive and understand it.



Building Rapport Building rapport with the other person is the essential first step in creating and maintaining a dynamic working relationship.

What is rapport?

Rapport is the positive link, or connection, that develops between you and the other person.

How do you build rapport?

Creating and maintaining rapport is almost always the result of high quality communication between you and the other person. Good communication helps develop a positive rapport and allows individuals to foster a relationship that effectively meets the needs of both parties

Conversely, poor communication hinders the development of rapport between you and the other person.



The Dynamics of Adaptive Communication Styles Before learning more specifically about the communication styles, it will be helpful to briefly explore the types of behaviors that help to define the communication styles.

Developing rapport with any other person requires you to observe their communication behaviors in order to determine 1) their relating style and 2) their interacting style.

.

The communication styles are a function of two kinds of observable behavior: Expressiveness: This is the degree to which the individual is willing and able

to openly communicate his or her feelings and opinions. At its highest level, it is characterized by the outward expression of feelings in an open and uninhibited manner.

Assertiveness: The degree to which the individual directly and forcefully

states his or her opinions and ideas. At its highest level, it is characterized by the verbal intensity and the directness employed by the individual during the interaction.



Identifying an Individual’s Relational Intensity

Expressiveness (Revealing)

Non-Expressiveness (Guarded)

! Self-disclosing

! Shares feelings

! Relaxed/warm conversations

! Expresses opinions

! Flexible about time/deadlines

! Nonverbal animation

! Concept-oriented

! Decisions based on feelings

! Guarded or veiled

! Does not willingly share feelings

! Formal/proper conversations

! Focuses on facts/issues

! Inflexible about time/deadlines

! Limited use of nonverbals

! Goal-oriented

! Decisions based on facts

High Relational Intensity Low Relational Intensity

Relational intensity is the degree to which the individual will tend to focus on the relationship aspects during communication with others. Individuals that are highly expressive will more likely have a higher relational intensity than those who tend to be less expressive.



Identifying an Individual’s Interactive Intensity

Non-Assertiveness (Reserved)

Assertiveness (Direct)

! Cautious/slow

! Makes “qualified” statements

! Reserves opinions

! Diplomatic

! Understanding/reserved

! Follows rules/procedures

! Patient

! Cooperative

! Spontaneous/quick

! Makes “emphatic” statements

! Forcefully expresses opinions

! Confronting

! Intense/assertive

! Bends rules/procedures

! Impatient

! Competitive

Low Interactive Intensity High Interactive Intensity

Interactive intensity is the degree to which the individual will tend to directly and forcefully state, and often times defend, his or her position. Individuals that are highly assertive tend to display a higher level of interactive intensity.



Recognizing Communication

Styles



Recognizing Communication Styles

Many interpersonal problems have their root cause in communication breakdowns. Avoiding these communication problems or correcting existing communication problems should be the goal of every individual striving to build a stronger relationship with another individual. In order to accomplish this, you need to understand two things:

1. How you communicate.

2. How the other person communicates and wants to be communicated with.

While this may seem to be a daunting task, it is actually a simple process. All that you have to do in order to identify another’s communication style preference is to answer two simple questions about that person’s general communication behaviors.

So how do you know whether a person is more or less expressive? Whether they are more or less assertive? This can be determined by the verbal and nonverbal behaviors that we can observe. Let’s examine the expressiveness and assertiveness scales in more detail. (The scales are represented in the figure below. A more detailed explanation follows.)

Low Assertiveness

High Assertive

Low Expressiveness

High Expressiveness

Figure 1

Question 1: Is this person more expressive or less expressive?

Question 2: Is this person more assertive or less assertive?



The Expressiveness Scale The following behaviors define the difference between expressive (revealing) and non-expressive (guarded) behaviors:

Expressiveness (Revealing)

Non-Expressiveness (Guarded)

! Self-disclosing

! Shares feelings

! Relaxed/warm conversations

! Expresses opinions

! Flexible about time/deadlines

! Nonverbal animation

! Concept-oriented

! Decisions based on feelings

! Relationship-oriented

! Seeks opinions

! Spontaneous actions

! Animated facial expressions

! More likely to give nonverbal feedback

! Comfortable with and initiates physical contact

! Prefers to work with others

! Conversations include digressions

! Enjoys listening to personal feelings and stories

! Guarded or veiled

! Does not willingly share feelings

! Formal/proper conversations

! Focuses on facts/issues

! Inflexible about time/deadlines

! Limited use of nonverbals

! Goal-oriented

! Decisions based on facts

! Task-oriented

! Seeks facts

! Planned actions

! Limited facial expressions

! Less likely to give nonverbal feedback

! Less comfortable with and minimizes physical contact

! Prefers to work independently

! Stays focused on issues and tasks

! Enjoys listening to goal-oriented stories



The Assertiveness Scale The following behaviors define the difference between assertive (direct) and non-assertive (reserved) behaviors:

Non-Assertiveness (Reserved)

Assertiveness (Direct)

! Cautious/slow

! Makes “qualified” statements

! Reserves opinions

! Diplomatic

! Understanding/reserved

! Follows rules/procedures

! Patient

! Cooperative

! Avoids risks

! Listens and asks

! Reserved

! Slow decisions

! Contributes infrequently in group discussions

! Infrequent use of gestures and voice tone to make points

! When not in agreement, most likely to go along, not arguing for own position - unless it is a major issue that they feel strongly about

! Initial eye contact is intermittent

! Spontaneous/quick

! Makes “emphatic” statements

! Forcefully expresses opinions

! Confronting

! Intense/assertive

! Bends rules/procedures

! Impatient

! Competitive

! Takes risk

! Talks and tells

! Outgoing

! Quick decisions

! Contributes frequently in group discussions

! Frequent use of gestures and voice tone to make points

! When not in agreement, more likely to maintain and argue for own position, even on issues they don’t even feel strongly about

! Initial eye contact is maintained and direct



Quick Check: Recognizing Communication Styles: (Part 1) Instructions: 1. Think of your direct supervisor 2. Then ask yourself the two questions about that person. 3. Use the Styles Matrix below to chart your answers. 4. To determine what style this person feels most comfortable in, note where the two

points on the scale intersect. Question 1: Is this person more or less expressive? Action: On the Styles Diagram below, place an X on the horizontal line that

represents that person’s degree of expressiveness. Question 2: Is this person more or less assertive? Action: On the Styles Diagram below, place an X on the vertical line that

represents that person’s degree of assertiveness.

! How does this person’s communication behavior resemble or differ from your own normal communication behaviors?

Low Assertiveness

High Assertive

Low Expressiveness

High Expressiveness



Quick Check: Recognizing Communication Styles: (Part 2) Instructions: 1. Think of a person that you have difficulty communicating with 2. Then ask yourself the two questions about that person. 3. Use the Styles Matrix below to chart your answers. 4. To determine what style this person feels most comfortable in, note where the two

points on the scale intersect. Question 1: Is this person more or less expressive? Action: On the Styles Diagram below, place an X on the horizontal line that

represents that person’s degree of expressiveness. Question 2: Is this person more or less assertive? Action: On the Styles Diagram below, place an X on the vertical line that

represents that person’s degree of assertiveness.

! How does this person’s communication behaviors differ from your own normal

communication behaviors?

Low Assertiveness

High Assertive

Low Expressiveness

High Expressiveness



Recognizing Communication Styles

# In the two above situations, it is possible for you to determine the communication style that the other person is most comfortable communicating in.

# If you desire to open up the channels of communication with the individual, knowing how they want to be communicated with will be one of the keys to the process.

# Knowing his or her preferred style allows you to adapt your own communication style in order to improve the quality of the communication.

# When the other person is a person who you have difficulty communicating with, you have a greater chance of improving communication with them if you can communicate with them in the manner that makes them the most comfortable.

To learn more about your own communication style, turn to the next page and prepare to complete the Adaptive Communication Matrix: Self Assessment™.



Adaptive Communication Styles

Please complete the Adaptive Communication Matrix: Self-Assessment 1 before reading the Explanation of Styles Section.

1 Adaptive Communication Matrix: Self- Assessment, © Rick Rumford, revised 2003.



The Adaptive Communication Matrix™ Self-Assessment This self-assessment is designed to help you better understand how you communicate in work situations. It is not designed to tell you things about your personality, beliefs, values or morals. It is simply a tool that will help you to gain a clearer understanding about the communication behaviors that you utilize in your everyday work interactions.

This assessment contains 26 pairs of statements. These statements tend to describe opposite communication behaviors. For every pair of statements, you have three points to distribute between the two pairs of statements. You should award your points based upon your actual behavior, not on how you would like to behave.

When awarding your points, the statement that is most like you should receive the most points. You may split your points between the two statements, but you must use whole numbers. (No half points!) One statement in each pair will always have more points than the other.

Example 1: In this case, the person decided that the first statement was the most descriptive and that the second statement was not at all descriptive of their behavior and awarded the points as follows:

A B C D

1 In a group, I prefer to be at the center of the conversation, frequently offering my opinions.

3 0 In a group, I prefer not to be at the center, instead preferring to listen more than talk.

Example 2: In this case the person decided that the first statement was like them most of the time but that the second statement described their behavior some of the time. This person awarded the points as follows:

A B C D



Example 3: In this case the person decided that the second statement was like them most of the time but that the first statement described their behavior some of the time and awarded the points as follows:

A B C D





The Adaptive Communication Matrix Self-Assessment Remember to distribute your 3 points based upon the statement that most closely describes your communication behavior or preference. You should award your points based upon your actual behavior, not on how you would like to behave. Place your points in the appropriate non-shaded boxes next to each statement.

A B C D

1

In a group, I prefer to be at the center of the conversation, frequently offering my opinions.

In a group, I prefer not to be at the center, instead preferring to listen more than talk.

2

I like to get to know the person that I am talking with and don’t mind spending time doing this before getting down to business.

I prefer to get right to the issue and think that the time is best spent focusing on the facts related to the issue.

3 When working on a task, I want to hurry and “get it done”.

When working on a task, I want to take my time to make sure that I do it right.

4

On my “to do” list, I tend to begin with the task that is most energizing or most enjoyable.

On my “to do” list, I tend to begin with the task that is the most important regardless of how I feel about it.

5 I am not afraid to take risks and am often energized by change.

I do not like to take risks and tend to avoid change whenever possible.

6 I find it easy to share my personal thoughts and feelings with others.

I prefer not to share my personal thoughts and feelings with others.

7

I tend to directly state my thoughts and opinions regardless of what others might think.

I tend to ask questions and suggest a course of action rather than making direct statements.

8

At work, I like to get to know people on a personal level and like to establish personal relationships with them.

At work, I prefer not to get to know people on too personal a level and prefer not to establish personal relationships with them.

9 When I disagree with someone on a minor issue, I tend to argue the point.

When I disagree with someone on a minor issue, I often let it go rather than making an issue of it.



A B C D

10

At work, I encourage people to drop in on me and will usually make time to talk with them when they do.

At work, I discourage people from dropping in on me and will let them know that I don’t have time for them if I am busy with something else.

11

When in a group discussion, I try to make sure that we stay focused on the task at hand.

When in a group discussion, I try to make sure that all group members get a chance to participate.

12 I like to bounce ideas off of other people. I prefer to act quickly on my own

ideas.

13 I would describe myself as assertive. I would describe myself as

diplomatic.

14

In meetings, I am flexible about the agenda, finding that useful information can sometimes come from loose discussions and digressions.

In meeting, I prefer to stick to the agenda and avoid loose discussions and digressions.

15

I like to make quick decisions and tend to get frustrated when working with indecisive or slow people.

I like to study all of the facts before making a decision and get frustrated when others try to make me decide too quickly

16 I often make gut level decisions and then go find the facts that support my decision.

I like to get all of the facts before I make a decision.

17 At a social event where I know few people, I will introduce myself to several new people.

At a social event where I know few people, I will visit with those I know and am not likely to introduce myself to many new people.

18

I don’t mind listening to the feelings of others, often encouraging them to share their feelings.

I prefer to avoid discussing the feelings of others, often discouraging others from sharing their feelings.

19

When I disagree with what someone says or does I usually tell them specifically what I disagree with and why.

When I disagree with what someone says or does, I prefer to let them know indirectly.

20

I find that deadlines sometimes “sneak up” on me and I often have to rush to meet deadlines.

I am always aware of my deadlines and usually have little trouble in meeting them.



A B C D

21

I think rules and procedures offer guidelines but that it is sometimes necessary to bend or ignore a rule in order to get things done.

I think rules and procedures exist for a reason should be followed.

22 My conversations tend to flow and often include interesting stories and digressions.

My conversations tend to stay focused and seldom include stories or digressions.

23 People that I work with would describe me as being outgoing.

People I work with would describe me as being reserved.

24 I prefer to work in situations where I get to interact a lot with others.

I prefer not to work in situations where I interact a lot with others.

25

I sometimes get impatient with others and will sometimes interrupt them when I know what they are going to say.

I tend to be patient with others and can listen attentively even when I know what they are going to say.

26 I like to focus on relationships and experiences. I like to focus on observable facts

and documentation.

Total Column A

Total Column B

Total Column C

Total Column D



Scoring: Assertiveness Score: Scores in columns A and C focus on assertiveness behaviors. $ Take your total score in Column A and divide it by 3 to get your get your Adjusted

Assertiveness score. (Example: Column A score is 27. Divide 27 by 3 to obtain an adjusted score of 9.)

$ On the Adaptive Communication Matrix on the next page, place an X on this

number on the vertical line. Expressiveness Score: Scores in columns B and D focus on expressiveness behaviors. $ Take your total score in Column B and divide it by 3 to get your Adjusted

Expressiveness score. (Example: Column B score is 33. Divide 33 by 3 to obtain an adjusted score of 11.)

$ On the Adaptive Communications Matrix on the next page, place an X on this

number on the horizontal line. Note: In rare cases, a person may have a Column A or Column B total score that is less than 3 and it, therefore, cannot be divided by 3. In these cases, the adjusted score should be assumed to be 1 for purposes of plotting the score on the Matrix.

Please turn to the next page to plot your scores on the Adaptive Communication Matrix.

Column A total ________ divided by 3 =

Column B total ________ divided by 3 =



The Adaptive Communication Matrix

Directions: 1. Find your Adjusted Assertiveness score on the vertical line below and mark it with an

X. 2. Find your Adjusted Expressiveness score on the horizontal line below and mark it

with an X. 3. To identify your communication style, find the intersection point of these two plot

points. (See example on the following page.)

0

0 13

13

1 2 3 4 5 6 9 10 11 12

12

11

10

9

8

7

6

5

4

3

8

2

1

Adapting Socializer

AdaptingDrivers

Adapting Analyzers

Adapting Empathizer

Analyzers Empathizers

NA

ASocializersDrivers

NE E



Example: $ Adjusted Assertiveness score = 9 $ Adjusted Expressiveness score = 11 0 13

13

1 2 3 4 5 6 9 10 11 12

12

11

10

9

8

7

6

5

4

3

8

2

1

0

NE

Socializers

Analyzers

Drivers

Empathizers

E

A

NA

AdaptingDrivers

Adapting Socializer

Adapting Empathizer

Adapting Analyzers

Intersection Point



Understanding and Adapting Your Style Adapting your communication style in order to communicate more effectively with another requires you to make a temporary, strategic adjustment to your own style when communicating with that person. Notice that the emphasis is on temporarily modifying, not changing your style. At this point, some might argue that adapting their style is a dishonest or artificial activity. However, the reality is that we continuously modify our communication behaviors to suit the situations we find ourselves in. For example, you would likely act differently at a backyard barbecue with good friends than you would at a formal dinner with members of your local government. In both situations, you are still the same person. The difference is in how you choose to communicate. Adapting your communication style in order to communicate more effectively with another does not personally change you in any way. When you change, or modify, your style in order to communicate with someone on their communication channel, only your method is changing. Your principles have not changed in any way. Nor have your goals and objectives changed. The only thing that has changed is the style you choose to employ as you attempt to convey your message. Adapting is not the same as mirroring or imitating the other person’s style. Rather, it means adjusting your degree of expressiveness and assertiveness in order to increase the other person’s comfort level and to make it easier for them to understand and respond to the core of your message. This adaptation allows the person to relate better and be more involved and included in the communication process.

The following pages explain the four primary communication styles.

A combination of the four styles, the Adaptor communication style, is explained at the end of the section



The Driver Communication Style



The Driver Drivers have a tendency to be more assertive and less expressive. They are the Action People. Drivers are more direct and fast paced. They like to get things done, but they do not show or share their personal feelings. However, they will not hesitate to express disappointment or disapproval when others fail to meet their expectations. While their nonverbals are not overly expressive, they will often maintain eye contact longer than the other styles. Drivers are comfortable with details but will usually not get bogged down in them, instead maintaining their focus on the objective or goal. Drivers are the most task-focused of all the styles. Key Points about Drivers % Drivers are people who like to get things done.

% They are the action people. They are motivated by accomplishments.

% They look for ways to get tasks or projects completed quickly, accurately and on time.

% Drivers are known for confidently making quick decisions.

% They prefer focusing on facts and prefer not to talk about personal feelings.

% Drivers tend to be organized and goal-oriented.

% Drivers often prefer to work alone.

% They tend to act without seeking the advice or approval of others.

% They will alter course quickly if they feel it is necessary, not worrying much about how it will look or who might object.

% Drivers speak authoritatively using concrete terms and avoiding the use of feeling words.

% They tend to say it once and then move on, assuming the other person understands.

% Drivers do not reveal much about themselves and usually do not engage in "chit chat" when having work discussions.

% Drivers focus on getting to an acceptable outcome quickly.

% They can be competitive and will often assume the leadership position when working in groups.



In conversations, Driver's will: % Be concise, factual and to the point.

% Utilize questions and responses that are logical and "to the point".

% Frequently ask closed-ended questions to verify their understanding or to make a point to the other person.

% Discourage questions, preferring to offer their own opinion, advice or directive.

% Focus narrowly on the other person’s question or the Driver's perception of the issue.

% Be fast-paced, controlling the pace and focus of the interaction.

% "Cut to the chase" often interrupting the other person while they are still speaking in order to move the discussion along.

% Be direct and to the point, sometimes being considered blunt by others.

% Speak quickly and emphatically, sometimes using downward hand gestures to punctuate important points.

% Utilize a wide range of vocal inflections and speak with more force and volume.

% Usually not tell stories or anecdotes.

% Maintain eye contact for longer periods than most other people. (The average direct eye contact for most people is between three and six seconds. Drivers can comfortably maintain direct eye contact for more than twice as long.)



Some things to watch out for: ♦ Drivers, because of their need to get things done quickly, will sometimes overlook

the feelings that others might have about an issue or decision.

♦ They also may not seek the input of others as often as those others might like, preferring to trust their own judgment.

♦ Drivers may sometimes skip over details in order to get the task or project accomplished.

♦ They have a tendency to delegate tasks without providing the amount of detail often desired by the other person.

♦ Drivers can become impatient with people who work at a slower pace or with people who tend to socialize while they work.

♦ They may sometimes take on too many commitments, trusting in their own ability to get things done.

♦ They become frustrated when faced with the delays or mistakes caused by others, but tend to take a more charitable view of their own mistakes.



Adapting Behaviors for Drivers

To adapt your communication style, you might consider: ! Slowing your pace.

! Listening to the other’s responses more closely.

! Listening for emotions as well as facts.

! Being a little more personal in your delivery style.

! Allowing yourself to be more open to questions and digressions.

! Adding some "feeling" terms to your questions and responses when dealing with those who tend to be more expressive in their communication style.

! Periodically summarizing and repeating key points for the other person.

! Involving the other person in the process by asking more open-ended questions.

! Verifying the other’s understanding more frequently.

! Being more patient with others that need to socialize before or during your conversation.

! Remembering that some people have a slower pace and a less direct communication style. Some of these individuals also have a strong desire to feel good about the interaction.



As a Driver, what I want from others when they communicate with me is: &

&

&

& &

& &

& &

& When others communicate with me, I get irritated by: '

' '

' '

' '

' '

'



The Socializer Communication Style



The Socializer Socializers are both expressive and assertive. They are the Motivational People. They are fast-paced and direct by nature and tend to be less reserved in their demeanor. Socializers are the most expressive and assertive of all the communication styles. They will use a wide variety of facial expressions, a lot of vocal intensity and range, and will often emphasize their points using upward hand gestures.

Key Points about Socializers:

% Socializers have the ability to inspire and motivate others.

% They are also idea people. They dream big and look for connections between ideas.

% They tend to look for new ways to do things.

% They find it easy to begin new tasks and projects.

% They are often known for the variety of different interests that they have.

% They like to be involved and enjoy projects and tasks that afford them high visibility.

% They enjoy working with others, often preferring this to working alone.

% They are extremely persuasive. They can often speak authoritatively and convincingly on topics for which they possess only limited information or knowledge.

% They tend to react spontaneously.

% They like to keep options open and are reluctant to close off option too soon.

% Socializers like to have fun and enjoy being at the center, or near the center, of attention.

% They enjoy rewards and recognition.

% Socializers tend to be risk takers and often make decisions based upon their “gut feelings”.

% When put on the spot, they generally remain poised and have the ability to respond quickly.

% They are comfortable with and may initiate physical contact, such as handshakes, backslaps and even hugs.



In conversations, Socializers will usually:

% Utilize a wide range of vocal inflections. They will speak with more force and volume and with a quick pace or delivery.

% Be clear, persuasive, fast-paced and sometimes lacking detail.

% Use questions that are less focused and more "free flowing".

% Focus on making the other person feel good about the interaction and about them personally.

% Tell stories or anecdotes to make a point.

% Share their opinions and feelings easily and readily.

% Use an informal approach, often using the first name of the other person regardless of that person’s status.

% Be expressive and will not hesitate to use feeling words.

% Tend to say it once and then provide personal examples or stories rather than repeating or focusing too much on the details, sometimes not providing enough details for people who prefer another communication style.

% Talk about themselves - sometimes making a point at their own expense.

% Frequently digress from the topic at hand to tell a good story or to explore an interesting idea with the other person.

% Get excited about a new idea or application and will often go off on tangents not related to the topic or the other person’s specific need.



Some things to watch out for: ♦ Socializers tend to be less time conscious than some of the other styles and will

often have to rush to meet a deadline.

♦ They are often not sensitive to the time constraints or sensitivities of some of the other styles.

♦ They have a tendency to personally take on too many tasks and projects.

♦ Socializers will sometimes get bored doing repetitive tasks and may take shortcuts when answering questions.

♦ They often do not pay attention to details.

♦ They may have a workspace that others might consider to be cluttered or disorganized.

♦ They can become impatient with people who work at a slower pace or by people who focus narrowly on details.



Adapting Behaviors for Socializers To adapt your communication style, you might consider: ! Slowing your pace and being less assertive or direct but more focused in your

conversations.

! Identifying the other person’s needs early in the conversation and staying focused on these.

! Being a little less personally revealing and offering more detail on the topic.

! Paying more attention to the stated needs of the other person and asking more closed ended questions to verify your understanding of their needs.

! Paying more attention to the value that some people put on their time.

! Verifying your understanding of their message more frequently.

! Involving the other person more in the process by asking more open-ended questions.

! Making a greater effort to listen to how the other person is responding.

! Remembering that some styles have less of a need to socialize and have a stronger desire to focus quickly on specific details.

! Recognizing that some styles place a higher value on their time and can become irritated when they think that the conversation is going "off track".



As a Socializer, what I want from others when they communicate with me is: &

&

&

& &

& &

& &


' '

' '

' '

' '

'



The Analyzer Communication Style



The Analyzer Analyzers have a tendency to be less assertive and less expressive. They are the Process & Systems People. Analyzers are slower-paced and indirect by nature and tend to feel most comfortable with organization and structure. Analyzers are the least expressive and the least assertive of all of the communication styles. They will not overtly display their emotions and will use fewer facial expressions, vocal intensity and range, and hand gestures. Analyzers are the most detail-conscious of all of the styles and are known for their problem solving skills. Key Points about Analyzers % Analyzers are the organizing and process people.

% They prefer to plan ahead and allow enough time to do the job correctly.

% Analyzers will evaluate all of the relevant variables before proceeding.

% They pay careful attention to the rules and procedures that may affect the work.

% To the analyzer, quality is more important than quality.

% Avoid "chit chat" and personal conversations, instead zeroing in on the other person’s issue or problem.

% They often prefer to work alone.

% Analyzers prefer to have all of the facts and documentation before committing to a decision.

% Analyzers are often happiest when they have a task that allows them to use their intellect, especially when the task involves systems or processes.

% Analyzers prefer to not reveal much about themselves and may become irritated or uncomfortable with people who do.

% They tend to avoid physical contact and may feel uncomfortable with people who touch them or get too physically close to them.

% They may become irritated by interruptions or questions from the other person - especially while they (the analyzer) are talking.

% They ma become irritated when they feel their time is being wasted.

% Analyzers prefer not to take unnecessary risks.



% When in conflict with another person, the analyzer tends to be indirect and nonconfrontational.

% Analyzers may get irritated by people who are disorganized or who want to take action before getting all of the details.

% Their workspace will almost always be organized, neat and functional. In Conversations, Analyzer's will: % Utilize a slower speech pattern with little vocal inflection.

% Be focused, logical, and all business, seldom straying far from the issue at hand.

% Prefer not to share their feelings and tend to keep discussions on a more formal level.

% Ask questions that are logical, direct, unemotional and focused only on the evident fact or issue.

% Focus narrowly on the specific question or issue stated by the other person and avoid (even ignore) any focus on emotions or feelings.

% Speak in precise terms and will avoid feeling words and resist the socializing behaviors of the other person.

% Tend to provide an abundance of details which can sometimes confuse or overwhelm the other person.

% Maintain a serious, business-like tone.

% Control the conversation by limiting the discussion to only business-related topics.

% Focus on process and offer extensive detail.

% Not usually talk personally bout themselves, instead focusing on the facts and evidence related to the topic under discussion.



Some things to watch out for: ♦ Analyzers like to be correct and may sometimes have frustration with quick

deadlines due to their need for accuracy and detail.

♦ Analyzers have been known to lose sight of the goal because of their attention to detail and perfection.

♦ Analyzers are systematic and precise and sometimes their pacing is slower than some of the other styles. (However, they are deadline-conscious and rarely miss a deadline.)

♦ They often prefer to work alone and will sometimes avoid joining in group discussions, even when their input is important and necessary.

♦ They get irritated by people who don’t stay on the topic and often consider meetings to be a waste of time.

♦ They may also get irritated by people who tell stories or jokes during meetings or discussions.



Adapting Behaviors for Analyzers To adapt your communication style, you might consider: ! Increasing your pace and displaying more directness and openness.

! Increasing your vocal range and using more animation when speaking, especially with those whose style is more expressive.

! Being a little more personally revealing and more tolerant of people who need to talk about themselves and/or their feelings before they talk about the problem.

! Encouraging questions and tolerating reasonable digressions.

! Occasionally adding "feeling" terms to your conversations with others, especially with those who tend to be more expressive.

! Soliciting more interaction and pausing more often to ensure that the other person is following you and has understood all the detail you have provided.

! Using more open-ended questions to increase the other person’s involvement and to verify your understanding of their issue or problem.

! Occasionally using humor to emphasize key points.

! Remembering that some people have a greater need to establish a rapport and/or socialize during the conversation.

! Recognizing that your desire to control the use of your time might be misunderstood by others who have a different communication style.



As an Analyzer, what I want from others when they communicate with me is: &

&

&

& &

& &

& &


' '

' '

' '

' '

'



The Empathizer Communication Style



The Empathizer Analyzers have a tendency to be less assertive but highly expressive. They are the People People. Empathizers are slower-paced and indirect by nature and tend to feel most comfortable with people and relationships. They are slower-paced and less direct by nature and tend to be good listeners. They are comfortable with emotions and prefer to have close, meaningful relationships with others. They will not overtly display their emotions but will use some facial expressions along with a lower volume. Empathizers are the best listeners of all of the communication styles.

Key Points about Empathizers % Empathizers are the collaborators and encouragers.

% Empathizers work well in groups and adapt quickly and easily to others’ ways of doing things.

% In groups, they will attempt to include everyone’s opinions and are known for being great team players.

% Empathizers seek security both in their relationships and in their work environment and are hesitant to take risks.

% They tend to reserve their own opinions and feelings until after they have gotten to know the other person a little better.

% Empathizers do not like to be rushed or talked down to.

% They prefer two-way interactions and may get frustrated or defensive when they are delegated a task without having a chance to ask questions.

% They tend to verbally empathize with the other person, sometimes allowing themselves to express agreement when they really don't agree.

% Empathizers tend to reveal personal things about themselves (but only after they have gotten to know and trust the person) and "chit chat" before (or after) addressing the other person’s issue or concern.

% They may focus on the relationship, at the expense of policy, process or procedure.

% Empathizers want to earn the respect and trust of the other person.

% Empathizers tend to become irritated by insensitive or overly direct people.

% Empathizers tend to be slower paced but are diligent in getting the work done.



% Their work area will usually be neat, but will almost always have personal family pictures, knick knacks and other items that personalize their work area.

In conversations, Empathizers will: % Utilize a slower speech pattern, with a lower volume and mild empathetic facial

expressions.

% Tend to speak in feeling terms and seek to avoid conflicts.

% Be slower paced and focus more on the personal feelings of both the other person and themselves.

% Ask a lot of questions to draw out the other person..

% Utilize questions that are logical, flexible, but less direct and are sensitive to the feelings of the other person.

% Encourage additional questions and/or allow digressions from the topic at hand.

% Focus on the other person’s stated needs and their perception of the other person’s needs.

% Often allow the other person to control the conversation and may allow the discussion to go on for extended periods of time.



Some Things to watch out for:

♦ Empathizers can easily get their feelings hurt, but they will not always let you know when this happens.

♦ Because of their desire to take care of the needs of others, they may sometimes lose site of current tasks or pending deadlines.

♦ Empathizers do not like conflict and will do almost anything to avoid it, sometimes resulting in their unwillingness to confront others who are not doing what is expected.

♦ They tend to say “Yes” too often and can become overburdened with the priorities of others at the expense of their own priorities.

♦ Empathizers can sometimes become too compliant, allowing others to negatively impact their work.

♦ Because they like to avoid conflict, they may fail to state their negative feelings.

♦ Empathizers generally do not like change and like to stay in their comfort zone.

♦ They tend to react poorly to people who are impatient or who are insensitive to the needs of others.



Adapting Behaviors for Empathizers

To adapt your communication style, you might consider: ! Increasing your pace and focusing the discussion immediately, especially with

those who use a more assertive communication style.

! Being a little less personally revealing and focusing more quickly on key issues and a little less on feelings.

! Controlling the conversation by allowing fewer digressions and asking more closed-ended questions.

! Focusing more on "concrete" terms and specific procedures and/or processes.

! Summarizing and repeating key points for the other person.

! Continuing to involve the other person by using open-ended questions, but increasing your usage of closed-ended questions when you have a need to gain control of the conversation.

! Verifying the other person’s understanding of the actual processes or procedures.

! Speaking with more directness, especially to people who speak to you in a fast-paced manner.

! Remembering that some people have a faster paced, more direct style which can make you feel uncomfortable. (Don't take it personally.) Some of these individuals will want to stick to the issue, focus only on the facts and get it done quickly.



As an Empathizer, what I want from others when they communicate with me is: &

&

&

& &

& &

& &

&

When others communicate with me, I get irritated by: '

' '

' '

' '

' '

'



The Adaptor Communication Style



The Adaptor The adaptor is both moderately assertive and moderately expressive. As you can see on the Matrix below, the Adaptor communication style combines a portion of each of the four communication styles. Adaptors still have one of the four styles as his or her primary communication style. However, the primary style is modified, or off set, by communication behaviors that might be associated with one or more of the other styles.

It is accurate to say that an individual who scores in the moderate ranges in assertiveness and expressiveness (above 3 but below 10) is most likely to be able to adapt his or her communication behaviors more naturally than those who score higher or lower.

0

0 13

13

1 2 3 4 5 6 9 10 11 12

12

11

10

9

8

7

6

5

4

3

8

2

1

AdaptingSocializer

AdaptingDrivers

Adapting Analyzers

Adapting Empathizer

Analyzers Empathizers

NA

ASocializersDrivers

NE E



Some Key Points about Adaptors Adaptor behaviors will vary based upon their primary style, however the following is likely to be true for Adaptors: $ Adaptors adjust their degree of assertiveness or expressiveness based upon the

situation.

$ When adapting, they tend to mirror the communication style and behaviors of the person that they are communicating with.

$ They usually find it easier to be less assertive rather than more assertive.

$ They usually find it easier to be less expressive rather than more expressive.

$ Adaptors’ communication behaviors tend to be somewhat understated.

$ It is sometimes more difficult to identify the true communication style of adaptors due to their understated communication behaviors.

Adapting Drivers: Drivers that are also Adaptors tend to have the following communication behaviors that distinguish them from other Drivers:

% Adapting Drivers tend to pay more attention to the feelings and needs of others than other Drivers.

% They tend to delegate less, preferring to see their projects through to completion.

% They are more likely to be diplomatic when giving feedback, criticism or when offering a contrary opinion.

% They tend to be more patient with others.

% They are more likely to seek and value the opinions of others.

% They show more patience and tolerance of others who work at a slower pace or who have different opinions about how the work should be done.

% They pay more attention to details than other drivers and will make slower decisions that are based on the facts and evidence.

% They are more realistic about deadlines and the steps that need to be taken in order to meet the deadline.



Adapting Socializers: Socializers that are also Adaptors tend to have the following communication behaviors that distinguish them from other Socializers:

% Adapting Socializers tend to pay more attention to the details, facts and processes than other socializers.

% They are more results-oriented and like to complete tasks and projects themselves.

% They are willing to involve others and will more likely take the time to do so than other socializers, but will maintain the leadership position.

% They will speak less emphatically, making more qualified statements.

% They will tend to be more in tune to the feelings of those around them and will give criticism diplomatically.

% They tend to judge others based upon their accomplishments and/or contributions to the goal or objective.

% They are more time conscious and are likely to pay attention to important deadlines.

% They like to look for creative ways to meet their goals.



Adapting Empathizers: Empathizers that are also Adaptors tend to have the following communication behaviors that distinguish them from other Empathizers:

% Adapting Empathizers tend to pay more attention to goals and objectives than other Empathizers.

% They are faster paced and are more time conscious than other empathizers.

% They are more process oriented and more likely to break down a project or goal into logical, manageable components.

% They are more likely to offer opinions and will offer diplomatically stated criticism and advice more easily than other empathizers.

% They like to begin and finish a task and will be less likely to involve others in the work.

% They prefer to work on one task at a time.

% They are more likely to focus on facts and details than other empathizers, placing about equal weight on relationship issues and facts.



Adapting Analyzers: Analyzers that are also Adaptors tend to have the following communication behaviors that distinguish them from other Analyzers:

% Adapting Analyzers tend to pay more attention to the opinions and interests of others than do other Analyzers.

% They tend to be more assertive and somewhat more expressive than other analyzers.

% They are more likely to involve others in projects and in important decisions.

% They are more likely to listen to new concepts and ideas, but without surrendering their need for facts and data to support it.

% They are more likely to trust their “gut instincts” and will look for the facts to support them.

% They will often underestimate the amount of time a task or project will take.

% They are more likely to engage in personal interactions, showing more tolerance and comfort for people who digress.

% They like to accomplish things and like to be recognized for their accomplishments.

Documents

Supplement: Communication Styles - On Target Seminars