Summer Issue

F O R T H E W O M E N O F F A I T H & H O N O R M

YM

US

LI

M

M A G A Z I N E

WEARING HIJAB

DIFFICULT?

IN THIS ISSUE:

Confessions

of a NIQABI I SPEAK FOR MYSELF

Budgeting Tips, Your Own

Hair Mask, Recipes,

Crafts, Reminders and

MUCH MORE ...

PLUS:

Connect Your Heart

To Allah MY HIJAB: The

Most Beautiful

Part of Me

HOW TO MAKE

YOUR HUSBAND

PERFECT

LETTER from the EDITOR

www.mymuslimveilmagazine.com

This Issue is entitled “I speak for Myself”,

which is aimed to be the voice of a Muslim

Woman. It is aimed to be an inspiration and

empowerment for all Muslim Women

whether those who wear Hijab or not.

I pray this will be a reminder for all us

women to be closer to Allah Almighty, to

learn our Deen (religion), to practice and

obey commands of Our Creator, because

wearing Hijab is to prove your Love for

Allah and to obey Him only.

I pray that all of us will be reminded to

please the Creator only and not the creation.

Wearing Hijab can be difficult and challeng-

ing for many of us, but keep in mind it is

also a test for the sincerity of your Faith and

love for Allah Almighty.

Be proud of who you are and don’t let any-

one make you feel down, because you are

special, you are protected roses, and this pro-

tection is given to you by the Lord of the

Worlds, all Supreme.

I hope this Issue will inspire and give

strength to all Muslim Women to show their

identity and show the world a beauty of be-

ing a Muslim Woman.

“...You are an individual with your own mind and personality....”

Sincerely,

Aysha-Anastasia Izg

WELLNESS

05 Connect Your Heart to Allah

07 Spiritual Tips for Healing

VOICES

MOTHERHOOD

15 Crochetting an Ummah

INSPIRATIONS

FAITH

19 10 Qualities loved by Allah


By Kelthum Bal-Fadhal


By Amatullah Rose

10 Wearing Hijab Difficult?

By Juli Herman

By Sadaf Farooqi

By Rania

MY MUSLIM VEIL SUMMER ISSUE 2012

08 My Hijab: The Most Beautiful Part of Me

12 Confessions of a Niqabi

CONTENTS

By Eliesa

MARRIAGE

17 How to Make Your Husband Perfect

By Umm Aliyah

19

25

06


Aysha-Anastasia Izg

MY MUSLIM VEIL

32

CONTRIBUTORS

PUBLISHER & FOUNDER

Writers for this Issue

Sadaf Farooqi

Natalja K

Kelthum Bal-Fadhal

Rania

Julli Herman

Hafsa Issa-Salwe

Nida Mujahid

WEBSITE


CONTACT US

[email protected]

[email protected]

WRITE FOR US

[email protected]

SUBSCRIPTIONS

Not offered at this time

My Veil

PO box 38645

Germantown, TN 28183

WWW.MYMUSLIMVEILMAGAZINE.COM

RECIPES

23 At Talbina and its benefits


BEAUTY

25 Your Own Hair Mask

FAITH

28 Being Grateful: Blessed and Blissful

By Sadaf Farooqi

CONVERTS

30 My Journey to Islam

By Fatimeh Hassan

Aysha-Anastasia Izg

By Hafsa Issa-Salwe

GRAPHIC DESIGN

Aysha-Anastasia Izg


CRAFTS

31 Summer Butterflies

By Nida Mujahid

By Umm Aaliyah

FAMILY

21 Budgeting Tips for your Family

By Natalja K

In this time of age where it looks like

every possible hedonistic and sensual-

istic aspirations are to be realized peo-

ple have never been so unhealthy and

unhappy. Articles and blogs about

alternative medicine, natural ap-

proaches to health and wellness and

other “spiritual awakening” to deal

with stress proliferate all over the

Internet.

In a western culture that reads

‘scientifically’ based evidences with

materialistic lenses; bringing a holistic

approach to health and wellness where

spirituality takes a central stage is of-

ten perceived with contempt… Well, it

should not.

The Islamic perspective on health and

wellness has always been one of bal-

ancing the soul-mind-body where the

lack of balance would bring diseases

and ailments.

Thus the stronger our connection to

our Creator the greater the balance!

Thriving to live a life of spirituality

where we thrive to please Allah will

bring about the peace of mind and

inner happiness that everyone seem to

desperately look for. This won’t be

achieved by aiming toward materialis-

tic aspirations most of the time and

spiritual ones the rest of the time if

there are any time and energy left!

Discovering and experiencing our

spirituality will be attained by follow-

ing the precepts of the Quran and the

guidance of the Sunnah of our beloved

prophet Muhammad (peace be upon

him).

Allah Almighty said:

"And We send down of the Quran,

that which is a healing and a mercy

to the believers, and the unbelievers it

causes not except loss.” (17: 82)

Connect your heart to Allah:

In order to connect yourself to our

Creator your first and greatest re-

sources are certainly your prayers or

salah. By praying the five prayers of

the day with concentration and sincer-

ity, you release the burden of the soul

and your heart gets connected to Him.

There are enormous benefits to salah

both spiritually and physically that we

could never appreciate enough but we


Connect Your

Heart To Allah

WANT HEALING? Get it from the Source!

SUMMER ISSUE 2012 MY MUSLIM VEIL

WELLNESS

5

can certainly mention Dr Zaheer Rabeh’s

book “Seeking cure from prayers” that

shows how salah or prayers’ timing fol-

low the physiological timing of the

body.

Salah keep you away from evil deeds,

dishonor and purify your heart as the

Quran mentions:

"Establish prayer, for prayer restrains

from shameful and unjust

deeds." (29:45)

Building a close relationship to Allah is

also accomplished by engaging in Quran

reading and recitation daily, and meditat-

ing on its wisdom. A little each day is

better than reciting a lot once in a while

because it will keep you committed to

reading Quran beside a busy schedule

and will eventually become a habit.

“Verily Allah raises nations by this book

(the Qur’an) and puts down (i.e. de-

stroys) others by it.” (Muslim)

In the book of the Prophetic Medicine is

said “The heart become well when it

acquires knowledge of its Lord and

Creator and in his Names, Attributes,

Actions and Commandments....while

avoiding His prohibitions and what may

displeases Him”.

Furthermore the connection between the

well-being of your heart and your overall

health is explained in this hadith.

"There is a piece of flesh in the body if it

becomes good (reformed) the whole

body becomes good but if it gets spoilt

the whole body gets spoilt and that is the

heart." Sahih Bukhari

Tackling your ego and healing.

“Pride is dissatisfaction with the truth,

and belittling the people.” (Sahih Mus-

lim )

Through these short words, our beloved

Prophet (peace be upon him) gave a deep

and comprehensive description of ego.

And Allah’s loath of an ego inclining

toward evilness is mentioned numerous

times in the Quran.

“Indeed, He does not love the

proud.” (16:23)

The ego or nafs ( soul) is the source

behind the too many psychological

and emotional distresses and pains.

Sorrow, regrets, vanity, resentment,

jealousy, guilt, anger, grudge and

other negative or repressed feelings

and emotions often manifest in your

life in the form of mental and physical

ailments when not dealt in a construc-

tive manner.

Islam preaches for forgiveness, pa-

tience and humility by contemplating

and pondering over Allah’s Com-

mandments in the Quran and the

teaching of Prophet Mohammed

(peace be upon him) which ultimately

brings healing and inner peace.

Allah says; “Seek help with patience

and prayer: it is indeed hard, except

to those who are humble.” (2: 45)

Therefore, don’t archive your negative

memories and the hurt you have ex-

perienced! Don’t keep grudge and

grow ill feelings toward those who

have wronged you. Let go of the grief

and sorrow; practice remembrance/

dhikr of Allah continuously and re-

mind yourself of the reward of Allah

when you choose to forgive and let go:

“The gates of Jannah (Paradise) will

be opened on Mondays and on Thurs-

days, and every servant of Allah who

associates nothing with Allah will be

forgiven, except for the man who has a

grudge against his brother. About

them it will be said, ‘Delay these two

until they are reconciled. Delay these

two until they are reconciled. Delay

these two until they are reconciled.”

(Sahih Muslim, Malik and abu

Dawud.)

When tested by Allah Almighty in

your health, wealth, family, status and

relationships; it can either strengthen

or weaken your faith. Accept those

tests with humility and patience but

never feel self-pity, or resent those

tests; as this will make your ego

stronger therefore dampening your

Iman (Faith).

“Be sure We shall test you with some-

thing of fear and hunger some loss in

goods or lives or the fruits (of your

toil) but give glad tidings to those who

patiently persevere.” (2:155)

Often forgiveness is seen as this gran-

diose act of generosity when in reality

it could be interpreted as a decision

with rather a selfish endeavor: it is a

decision that benefits YOUR faith,

YOUR physical health and YOUR

psychological well-being! Dealing

with the major stress factors in your

life IS by far the second most impor-

tant step you need to take to restore

and balance your health! But being

able to forgive and letting go of those

negative emotions and thoughts are

tasks only a ‘deflated’ ego will allow

you to overtake. The consequences of

pride are not only destructive in this

life but might bring upon you the ulti-

mate lost as Allah says:

“So enter the gates of Hell to dwell

therein. Indeed evil is the abode of the

proud.” (16:29)

Finally keep in mind and in your own

paradigm that whatever hardship you

have faced it is already written as it is

the Will of Allah!

“No calamity befalls on the earth or in

yourselves but it is inscribed in the

Book of Decrees (Al Lawh Al

Mahfooz) before We bring it into exis-

tence. Verily, that is easy for Allah.”

This leaves you with essentially two

choices: the chance to practice pa-

tience and show your love and trust to

Allah or spiritually rail against those

difficulties in your existence and live

with the consequences that this path

will cause to occur…It is your free-

will.

SUMMER ISSUE 2012 MY MUSLIM VEIL 6

SPIRITUAL TIPS FOR HEALING

1-Focus your Intention toward Al-

lah Almighty only!

Strive to bring awareness of Allah Almighty to

your life by constantly focusing your intention to-

ward Him only. Whatever deeds you do, thoughts

you mind and speech you speak is to connect your-

self to Allah.

2- Practice Gratitude!

Because you do not attribute your ability to worldly

causes, you know deep inside that you owe every-

thing to Allah Almighty alone and thus avoid as-

cribing any associates to Him.

If you tried to number Allah's blessings, you could

never count them. Allah is Ever-Forgiving, Most

Merciful. (16:18)

3-Make Du’a (Supplication):

Du’a is a great weapon for the believer. Ask Allah

Almighty for shifa (healing) as He is The Healer

(Al Shafi) and put your trust with Allah.

4-Make sincere repentance/tawba to

Allah: Do not fear anyone and anything (any disease) but

Him. Never despair of Allah’s mercy and forgive-

ness!

Truly, Allah loves those who turn unto Him in

repentance and loves those who purify themselves.

(2:222)

5-Practice patience:

Imam Ibn Al-Qayyim said,

“There are three types of patience: firstly,

practicing patience to fulfill the obligations

and to do righteous; secondly, abstaining

from evil and prohibited acts; and thirdly,

practicing patience during times of hardship

without complaints.”

6-Practice Dhikr/remembrance

daily:

In your mind, out loud practice dikhr, recite

suras (chapters of Holy Quran): make it a

habit so that is it Allah’s name that comes

first in your heart and mind when you feel

fear or joy.

Alhamdulillah (praise be to Allah, Asthagh-

firullah ( I seek forgiveness from Allah),

Subhanallah (Glory be to Allah), Allahu Ak-

bar (Allah is the Greatest) must accompany

your thoughts and speech.

7- Be optimistic!

Through illnesses and diseases Allah is test-

ing you and the test is to change YOU. Allah

tests those He loves.

The Prophet (peace be upon him) said:

"When Allah desires good for someone, He

tries him with hardships." (Sahih Bukhari)

8- Be generous:

Give Zakaat. In Arabic, the term zakaat liter-

ally means purification of the heart.

Offer sadaqa (charity). Anything given gen-

erously - freely to others - with the inten-

tion of pleasing Allah is sadaqa. It can be

as simple as a smile, or removing objects

or trash from the road or path.

(Generosity does not lie in giving away

something that is no longer wanted but in

giving freely from the things we love or

need in order to please Allah.)

9- Fast voluntarily to seek the

pleasure of Allah: Fasting in general and voluntary fasting

in particular is a great worship. Fasting is

not restricted to Ramadhan. It is an act of

worship that can draw you closer to Al-

lah. It is also a great way to detoxify and

cleanse your body and soul.

Abu Tharr Al-Ghefari said: "The Messen-

ger of Allah, peace be upon him, said "O

Abu Tharr! if you fast three days of every

month, then fast the 13th, the 14th and

the 15th [these are call the al-ayaam al-

beedh, the white days]". (Sahih Ahmad,

an-Nasaa'i and at-Tirmithi)

10- Smile, it is Sunnah!

And it is therapeutic too .

Connecting your heart to Allah with the

enlightenment and true guidance of the

Quran and Sunnah and practicing jihad al

nafs (tackling the ego) is the ultimate way

to wellness of the mind body and soul in

this world and the Success and Happiness

in the Hereafter.



7

VOICES

“...they would pass happily and beautifully wrapped in their hijabs; they

all looked so beautiful and clean, like protected roses...”

By Amatullah Rose

As I thoughtfully gaze out of

the window of my room, the

beautiful and soft voice of the

adhan (call to prayer) stirs me

from my silent reverie. I hurry

to perform my wudhu

(ablution) and pray salah

(prayer), although I feel sad to

break from my moment of re-

flection, but I know that Allah

always comes first before any-

thing.

I remember that it was around

the same time of the season –

autumn, sad, but beautiful with

its multi-coloured leaves fal-

ling on the ground – that I was

still lost and did not know

which way to go.

But Allah is the One Who is

the Most Merciful, and He is

the One and Only Who contin-

ues to guide mankind toward

the right path and towards

Himself. Although I was born

in a Muslim family, I had

never prayed salah, been to the

masjid (mosque), or worn the

hijab (headscarf)

So in a similar moment, as I

was looking outside the win-

dow and reflecting over my

life and my purpose here in

this dunya (worldly life), I sud-

denly noticed a sister beauti-

fully covered with hijab amidst

the traffic and bustle of the city.

As I recall from that time, a few

years ago, it was quite rare to

see a Muslimah covered prop-

erly with hijab, even though our

city is predominantly Muslim.

This sister looked so beautiful

and modest in her white hijab,

carefully wrapped over her head

with the lowered end of her

scarf over her shoulders, that I

thought: Ya Allah, how beauti-

ful is this Islamic cloth? I have

never seen anything more beau-

tiful in my life!

The message that

this cloth was

conveying to

me was the es-

sence of mod-

esty and the pin-

nacle of Mus-

lim identity.

I wished to

call out

“Salaam”

to her, but

as I was

not

cov-

ered myself, I felt shy to do so. How-

ever, in that very moment that I was

going to turn my head away to an-

other direction, my kind Muslim sis-

ter smiled to me and called out to

me, “Salaam.”

Days passed by, but the image of that

sister in hijab from our train station

refused to leave my mind. I would

watch out for sisters at my school, on

the street, in the market, as they

would pass happily and beautifully


8

Article was originally published by

www.igotitcovered.org and is been republished

with permission. Like Protected Roses

wrapped in their hijabs; they all

looked so beautiful and clean,

like protected roses.

I thought: Is there anything more

beautiful than this rose garden

which is watered by iman (faith)

and true belief in Allah? Al-

though I was already dressing

modestly, I still could not ignore

the way men would look at me.

So I made du’a (supplication) to

Allah: please protect me from

these kind of lustful glances, be-

cause, ya Allah, I know that this

is wrong.

I would close my eyes and try to

imagine what it would feel like,

walking fully covered in hijab. I too

would imagine myself smiling and

happy like those sisters I saw daily. I

thought how safe and secure I would

feel, and that with every step I took, I

would be in a state of ‘ibadah( wor-

ship) to Allah, and proudly proclaim-

ing my belonging to the Deen( relig-

ion) of Allah. But when I would

open my eyes again, I would see my-

self back where I was, still uncov-

ered; but only Allah knows how

great this yearning of my heart

was…

I called out: Ya Allah, please

help me so that one day, I too

have enough courage and

faith in You to cover, and

that through it, I may be

able to fulfill my iman

(faith) and my iden-

tity as a Muslimah.

My heart was

alone in making

du’a( supplica-

tion), and I

prayed to

Allah that

He help

me to

wear

my

Hi-

jab

with dignity and everything else

that it represents.

“Insha’Allah (God willing),” I

thought to myself.

Alhamdulillah (Praise and

thanks be to Allah) a hundred

times over, that Allah accepted

my du’as (supplications). He is

the the Only Rabb (Sustainer),

and He is sufficient for His Ser-

vants who put their trust only in

Him. The day I covered myself

with hijab was the happiest day

of my life; and with the help of

Allah, my family also happily

accepted my decision and were

very proud of me. My father

told me, “Everything is more

beautiful and has better value if

it is covered and protected from

strangers.”

I know that Allah hears every

beat of my heart, and I know

that when we honestly and truly

rely only on Him, and make

du’a and ask help only from

Him, Allah will never leave us

to ourselves.

“Allah (Alone) is Sufficient for us, and He is the Best Disposer of

affairs (for us).” (3:173)

And now I get up with tears in

my eyes and open an old

wooden box near my bed, the

contents of which I take out for

my salah (prayer). This scarf, I

bought only few days ago. It is

so beautiful: emerald in color

and silky to the touch.

SUMMER ISSUE 2012 MY MUSLIM VEIL MY MUSLIM VEIL 9

By Eliesa

“...Why should others’

opinions matter regarding

what you wear? Each one

of us is an individual, with

a unique mind and per-

sonality…”

Wearing Hijab

DIFFICULT?


You may believe that using a long piece

of material to cover the hair and bosom

is relatively easy from the outset. How

much more different can it be really,

than wearing any other piece of cloth?

But the reality is that it is indeed an

amazingly difficult thing to do in some

cases. There are numerous reasons for

this apparent difficulty, but the main

reason is usually in the mind of the

wearer –a type of paranoia really.

Why should others’ opinions matter re-

garding what you wear? Each one of us

is an individual, with a unique mind and

personality. Then why is it that we let

the thoughts and opinions of others get

to us so much? We shouldn’t think about

what people think, but rather focus on

what Allah thinks and what pleases Him

alone, and voila! The task becomes easy.

It really does. If you totally and entirely

block out people’s opinions and do not

let them effect you, it surely will be so

much easier.

My own struggle with Hijab (headscarf)

wasn’t because of what other people

thought. I didn’t care. I personally don’t

tend to follow any trends or the current

fashion and I try not to let such things

cloud my judgments. I am my own indi-

vidual and have a right to express what I

think, thus I should do so in the best way

possible. Alhamdulilah (praise and

thanks be to Allah) if I am in a crowd of

people and I am considered the ‘odd’

one out, I do not consider this to be of

any importance; these opinions are just

that: opinions. Why should I let it affect

me as an individual and my beliefs?

My motto for anybody in this situation

is: Just do not care about what ‘people’

think. On the Day of Judgment, in front

of Allah, that feeble excuse will hold no

value and it will not help you in any

way. We shouldn’t be so influenced by

these types of people, who in fact, will

be dragging us down with them to de-

struction, may Allah save us from this.

My personal struggle wasn’t related to

the opinions of people, but with my own

father. The very place I should have re-

ceived praise and encouragement is

where I got the exact opposite. I was

ridiculed, threatened, demeaned, ig-

nored, verbally abused, bad-mouthed,

belittled, and cursed even! It was one of

the toughest things I had to go through,

especially since I was actually standing

up for the right thing. Being put through

this test was indeed very difficult. How

could I argue or even voice my reasons?

I could not.

I smiled and cried through it all. I felt

humiliated, saddened, maddened, on the

verge of giving up; it really felt as

though I was in the thick of the storm,

and this storm lasted a couple of years.

But Alhamdulilah (praise and thanks be

to Allah), I remained steadfast in my

decision, did not give up, did not give in.

The two years felt as though they would

never end. But Alhamdulilah the storm

eventually passed and there was light at

the end of the tunnel.

Just by enduring this test, I realized it

had made me stronger. This occurred at

the beginning of my journey to Islam,

from the time I decided to adhere to the

way of life Allah has chosen. This

change in my life was not easy to begin

with, but it became the best and easiest

choice I made, with the help of Allah,

SubhanAllah (glory be to Allah).

Looking back, I am now actually thank-

ful for this test. Maybe through my fa-

ther’s actions towards me, I hopefully

passed a test that will benefit me in the

Hereafter InshaAllah (with Allah’s will).

At least, it helped me to become a

stronger minded Muslim Alhamdulillah

( praise and thanks be to Allah).

My words of support would be: It is

worth it. Allah puts those whom He

loves through these trials. Do not lose

hope. Stay strong in what you are doing,

especially if it is for the sake of Allah

The Most High. Believe and accept it

with your heart, not only your mind and

what you set out to achieve will become

easier with the permission of Allah.

Article was originally published by

www.igotitcovered.org and is been

republished with permission.

”Stay strong in what you are doing, especially if it is for the sake of

Allah. Believe and accept it with your heart, not only your mind…”


11

“...HER SILHOUETTE

framed against the back-

drop of the fading eve-

ning light, who had

caught my attention as a

teenager.”...who moved

my heart in a way that I

could henceforth

never forget….”

Of a NIQABI

CONFESSIONS

By Sadaf Farooqi

“..But you know, sometimes Allah places a yearning in

your heart that you can no longer ignore, and once I

started it, I have never had any second thoughts, even if

it is sometimes difficult….”


“But why do you do niqab (face veil)?”

a cute 7-year-old girl asks when she sees me

try to take a sip from the straw in my tall glass

of cold coffee from behind my niqab (face

veil). “Why?”

Why, indeed? At times, when I walk across the

road in the bright sunlight, or cross glass-

walled shops in a busy marketplace and catch a

glimpse of my loosely-garbed figure, I catch

myself reflecting upon my silhouette: a figura-

tive “shadow”, so to speak, covered top to toe

in flowing garments, with little more than my

eyes, hands and parts of my feet visible.

At moments like these, I feel a sudden rush of

gratitude towards my Creator for guiding me to

modestly cover myself up like this. My mind

then wanders down memory lane, to my life

more than a decade ago, when it was a similarly

dressed woman passing by me, her silhouette

framed against the backdrop of the fading eve-

ning light, who had caught my attention as a

teenager, making me ponder upon my own

comparatively immodest persona as I gazed at

her in awe, transfixed; who moved my heart in

a way that I could henceforth never forget.

“Does my lipstick look too dark?” one of my

friends had asked as she peered into the rear-

view mirror of her parked car. We had stopped

at the store on the way to a girlfriend’s house

for a get-together. As the three of us waited in

the car, overdressed to the hilt for the school-

girl party, a small group of men standing

nearby gawked lustfully at us 17-year-olds,

leering, snickering and making vulgar facial

expressions. I tried to quell the guilt that welled

up inside me, and I suddenly wished there was

a barrier or a cover between us and them, to

shield us from their vile gaze. I regretted hav-

ing put on the bright lipstick and letting my

untied hair cascade in loose curls over my

shoulders, even though I knew I had done so

only as a natural, feminine quest to “dress up”

for a girls’ party.

And just at that moment, wrought with guilt,

was when I saw her.

Wearing a graceful abaya and hijab that cov-

ered her from head to toe, the niqab pulled

gracefully across her face showing just

her eyes, she glided across the road. I

observed her for a few seconds, in awe

and admiration. I then looked back at the

men who were still gawking at us over-

dressed young tarts.

Not one of them even so much as raised

an eye in her direction.

It was one of those life-changing mo-

ments. Thenceforth, outwardly I ap-

peared and acted the same, but inside, I

had changed forever. I just knew that I

wanted to adhere to the Islamic dress

code, even though I presumed that I

would never be able to.

Back in the car, overcome with shame

and guilt, I suddenly pined to be able to

take up hijab and niqab like that graceful

lady, and felt so cheap and easy in com-

parison to her, because of being openly

available for the world to leer at when-

ever I dressed up, especially since I was

at an age that lies at the threshold of a

woman’s youthful, feminine good looks.

Respect

Groups of girls and boys stand along

classroom doorways and corridors; and

hang out chatting on stairways, around

tables in the cafeteria, or sitting cross-

legged on the sprawling campus lawn.

Gossip, teacher-bashing, academics,

exams, and the latest films or television

programs are hot discussion topics. Pep-

pered throughout the conversations are

disguised flirtations, sly comments,

underhandedly vulgar jokes, and mock-

ery disguised as harmless teasing.

Sometimes, a guy would cross the line,

and the whole group would break

out in loud guffaws as the young girl

who was the target of his jibe turned

beetroot red with humiliation and self

consciousness, lowering her gaze and

wishing she could get up and leave that

very instant.

But she wouldn’t. She’d swallow her guilt

and remain sitting with them, even though

she loathed the company of most of the

people in her so-called “friends” clique.

Welcome to the timeless dilemma faced by

youth!

First as a teenager and then more so as a

twenty year old, I sought respect from

members of the opposite gender. I wished

they would not stare at me or “check me

out” when I moved around outside. From

the moment I had turned thirteen, till I hit

twenty-one, I found the lewd stares of guys

and men disconcerting and downright de-

meaning.

When I visited my girlfriends’ homes, even

their fathers and brothers would repeatedly

approach us girls, trying to be friendly and

cracking insipid jokes just to make us

laugh. Even the portly, balding and rotund

“Uncles” in my extended family, who used

to ignore me as a child, now lavished un-

welcome attention upon me at weddings

and other family events.

I craved respect and honor. I wished every

man would treat me like a lady, not eye

candy or easy entertainment. Yes, that is

the appropriate word: easy. Guys and men

assumed they could look at me or talk to

me as and when they wished.

All praise to Allah, all of that has changed

now that I wear the hijab and niqab.

The Difference

I have a date with my childhood girlfriend

at a local cafe where we have dined for

years. As I get out of my car and enter the

chic eatery, every man I pass by, from the

random guys loitering on the street, to the

doorman, to the manager and waiters in-

side, avert their gaze with respect.

“Assalamu alaikum,” says the doorman

while looking at the floor, gallantly swerv-

ing the door extra-wide open for me.



“Wa alaikum ussalam…,” I say in a

business-like and somewhat gruff

tone, looking straight ahead and walk-

ing on without as much as a second

glance his way.

The same respect is shown by the

manager as he points me towards a

table, and the waiter as he hands me a

menu card. Eyes of all men who inter-

act with me remain averted; gazes

lowered with respect. Even as waiters

take my order, they do not look at me

to make direct eye contact, except

perhaps fleetingly when I explain what

I’d like to order.

When I contrast the way the same

men’s behavior changes as they inter-

act with other ladies who enter the

cafe, I marvel at the enormous power

of this seemingly small piece of cloth

that falls over my face.

Because, really, it is just the niqab that

has made the whole difference. I could

feel the enormous change in the way

non-mahrum men interacted with me

in public places the minute I started to

cover my face, even though I was

wearing the head cover and abaya

since long before that.

They would step out of my way with-

out my telling them to, or waiting for

them to. They’d look elsewhere when

talking to me, whether it was a male

cousin at an Eid dinner party, or a

salesman at a shop. They loose the

flirtatious, non-serious demeanor and

the lopsided, cocky smile the minute

they need to interact with me. They

hold doors open for me wider than

needed.

“Why do you cover your face? It is not

obligatory!” demand to know some

sisters in my circle; those who tried it

and gave up, as well as those who

have yet not felt inclined to tread into

this “masked” territory.

“It is a gray area of fiqh. There are two

opinions about niqab.”

“It scares away non-Muslims. It makes you

a target of persecution, discrimination and

racist attacks.”

“It stifles you, and impedes breathing.”

As they continue making such comments

in my presence, something that has been

happening throughout the past 11 years

(ever since I started niqab), perhaps more

as excuses for their not being able to do

niqab, I smile as I ruefully shake my head

at their so-called ‘logical reasoning’, my

heart totally at rest with my decision to

cover my face, comforted by the belief that

I would not have it any other way. Yes, I

would not remove this seemingly tedious

and tiresome flap on my face even if some-

one paid me to do it!

Because when I started out on my face-

veiling journey, I did it solely to earn the

pleasure of Allah, because I knew that the

wives of our beloved Prophet () and the

women of the Ansar used to cover their

faces (Sahih Al-Bukhari).

However, as I went along this sometimes

thorny path, I started to marvel at the won-

derful worldly benefits the face-veil brings

to a Muslim woman. Just like we pray our

daily salah solely for Allah’s pleasure, but

eventually look forward to, and enjoy, the

peace of mind and serenity of the soul that

it helps us attain, so do I love the way my

niqab automatically forces men to act re-

spectfully and dignifiedly towards me,

without my having to request them to.

At parties and gatherings, no one dares

take my photograph (not even sisters),

which is a great relief in the current age of

photo-sharing via online social media,

where tags instantaneously land your pho-

tos on the desktop and smartphone screens

of numerous strangers all over the globe.

People avoid cracking vulgar and crass

jokes in my presence, unlike when I used

to just cover my head. Last but not

least, I can smile and grin silently

when having an enjoyable conversa-

tion with my husband and children in

public, knowing that none of the male

onlookers around would take my grin

the wrong way, simply because they

cannot see it. Oh, and did I mention, I

can wear bright lipstick when out and

about just because I want to look good

to myself, without feeling guilty that

some lecher would take it as an invita-

tion to flirt?

“Why do you wear niqab?” asks the

innocent little 7-year-old girl. I look at

her lovingly and pause to think care-

fully before responding.

“I do it, jaan, simply because I want

to, not because of some fatwa or fiqhi

ruling regarding it being obligatory or

supererogatory. I resisted the urge to

do it for as long as I could. But you

know, sometimes Allah places a

yearning in your heart that you can no

longer ignore, and once I started it, I

have never had any second thoughts,

even if it is sometimes difficult.”

She smiles and nods, looking down at

her ice cream. I smile too, because

even if she cannot see my lips, I know

that my smile reaches my eyes as a

warm glow.

As I glance at my dark silhouette re-

flected upon the glass doors of shops

when I move around in public, I won-

der if some day, some where, some

young girl will notice me walking

past, and perhaps, just by looking at

the way I carry myself and the way

men lower their gaze and leave my

path as I pass by, she will be moved to

do something she never thought

she would have the guts to do?

Because, believe me, young girls

never forget those older women who

inspire them in poignant moments of

introspection and self-analysis that

14

CROCHETING AN UMMAH (Nation)

As I maneuver my cro-

chet hook over the taut yarn,

pull it through the loops, and

form yet another double crochet

stitch on my baby blanket in

progress, I silently lament the

unevenness of my stitches.

Some are loose, some are tight

and some are just nice. I stop

crocheting and look the blanket

over, laying it on the couch. It

appears fine. The loose, tight,

and perfect stitches seem to

blend together nicely. I can’t

tell one loose stitch from one

tight stitch unless I scrutinize

each stitch, though after looking

it over for a while, I am able to

spot the imperfections. Not

willing to undo my work and

start over, I sigh, pick it up, and

continue my hook and pull mo-

tions, adding more ‘garden vari-

ety’ stitches into my first ever

crocheted baby blanket.

Parenting is very much

like crocheting. The first cro-

cheted piece will generally be

full of imperfections and mis-

takes. My mother says “The

first child is the guinea, that’s

where most mistakes are made

by the parents.”

As a first child, I have to

agree. I think of my daughter,

my first child. She is my first

‘crocheted’ piece. There are a

lot of too tight and some very

loose stitches in that piece. I

was a young, inexperienced

mother when she came along.

Everything was new, and a lot

of parenting was by trial and

error. Though the piece has

grown to a considerable size

By Juli Herman


MOTHERHOOD

now, I suppose it looks fine, but

upon closer scrutiny, one can

probably pick out the imperfec-

tions; the tight stitches pulling

the overall piece one way, and

the loose stitches making up for

that pull. Whatever mistakes I

made in parenting her, I have

tried to correct, but just like cro-

cheting, sometimes, you don’t

realize you have made a mis-

take in the first row after you

have stitched the tenth row, and

so you have to live with that

mistake.

With subsequent

children, skills im-

prove, and wisdom

in choice of colors

and hook size are

bound to deepen.

No longer do you

struggle to create

each stitch as you

did the first time.

Your fingers are

more nimble, and

you might even be

able to crochet

with your eyes

closed! Ok, maybe

not, but at least

you won’t have

glaring holes as a

result of very loose

stitches, or skewed

edges.

Just like crochet-

ing, parenting involves a lot of

experimenting. You try new

stitches, thinking they look

cool, and sometimes that par-

ticular stitch turns out to be too

much of a hassle and you try

another kind of stitch. You try

some endorsed parenting meth-

ods, especially if you are trying

to break a cycle of “Because I

told you so,” from your own

childhood experiences. Some

methods might sit well with you

and your children, some might

not, just like the many variations

of crochet stitches.

In crochet, you need to be

aware of your work in progress so

you can undo imperfect stitches

and redo them as soon as they

happen. So too with parenting. It

takes self awareness to realize

that you should have spent some

time answering your five year-

old’s curious questions rather

than brushing her off curtly. Un-

fortunately, some parents move

on with no awareness whatsoever

and repeat the mistakes over a

period of years, never realizing

them until they have a crocheted

piece in progress that is horribly

skewed. No amount of pulling,

straightening, or easing would fix

it. In that case, it would take a lot

of work to undo those stitches and

rectify them.

This is where the task of

crocheting, I mean, parenting,

splits between you and Allah.

While parents do all they can to

give proper tarbiyyah

(upbringing) to their children, the

end result is not directly corre-

lated to their effort. Allah may

test them with their children. It’s

a humbling experience when I

began to realize that despite my

effort, or despite my mistakes,

Allah’s mercy and wisdom can

land me with either unexpected

skewed stitches or perfect rows.

So many parenting methods give

you the feeling that if you do this,

your children will behave this

way or that way. But being Mus-

lims, we have to remember that

guidance is in the hands of Allah.

He is the changer of hearts and

thus, our children’s guidance is in

His hands. We can only convey.

We can only continue to stitch

with persistence, patience, and

joy. Sometimes, you will be

tested in that the good girl you

have raised and educated

throughout the years suddenly

takes off her hijab and starts to

hang out with less than good

company, breaking your heart

in the process. You advise her,

and continue to advise her and it

gets very challenging because

she is already an adult. You can

only do so much. Yet, take sol-

ace in making du’a

(supplication) for her, and hope

that she is turned back to Al-

lah’s path and dies in the high-

est state of iman (faith), even if

this happens long after you are

gone.

As parents, we have the

honor and responsibility of pro-

ducing wonderfully crocheted

pieces to add to other crocheted

pieces in the world. As mothers,

we have the honor and responsi-

bility of working closely and

directly with the hook and yarn.

As Muslim mothers, we have

the honor and blessing of im-

mersing in each stitch, the man-

ners and teachings of the

Prophet peace be upon him. The

hand that crochets an individual

Muslim, crochets the whole um-

mah (nation).

Juli Herman is a stay-at-

home homeschooling mother of three

teenagers and one kindergartener.

Her ‘crocheted pieces’ are still in

process. There are days when she

wishes she could unravel and start all

over again, and there are days when

she is thankful for the results so far.

She occasionally blogs at

juliherman.wordpress.com.

“...But being

Muslims, we

have to re-

member that

guidance is in

the hands of

Allah. He is

the changer of

hearts and

thus, our chil-

dren’s guid-

ance is in His

hands…”


You have the ring on your finger, the nikah

certificate somewhere safe and you’ve

settled into being Mrs Married. But are you

feeling a little deflated about married life?

Were you hoping it would be a whirlwind

of romantic gestures and that you would be

showered with gifts every day? Is your

husband falling short of your expectations?

We often hear the phrase “a woman will

always try to change a man”. Whilst this

might not be true in every case, it is true a

lot of the time. We never seem to be satis-

fied with what we have. But maybe it’s not

that our husbands are falling short of the

standards we are judging them by, but

rather, our expectations are all wrong.

As practising Muslimahs we need to seek

the best guidance when it comes to helping

us lead the best lives. So, how have we

been measuring how good our husbands

are? Have we been considering the guid-

ance in the Quran and Hadith – the authen-

tic sources - to assess our spouses? Or have

we been influenced by films, television and

romance novels?

What the Media Says:

He should be showering you with lavish

gifts

Do the superficial, external gestures

really matter when we get down to

things? Of course every girl wants to be

made to feel special but maybe a lack of

gifts doesn’t mean he is not a good hus-

band – maybe the way we think needs to

be re-assessed. Where have we learned

that receiving copious amounts of gifts

means our husbands love us? Do we

compete with our peers as to which of us

receives the best presents?

Consider why material things make you

happy and think about how long the after

-glow of a gift lasts. At the end of the

day – do gifts really make you happy?

If you expect material gifts all the time,

or demand expensive gifts or otherwise

you are not happy, consider whether

your heart is in need of repair and

whether you need Islamic balance be-

tween the dunya (worldy life) and the

deen (religion). The Prophet, peace be

upon him, said to live in this life like

travellers. Hundreds of Prada and Gucci

handbags are definitely not practical

accessories for a journey.

What the authentic sources say:

“…the best of you are those among you

who are best to their wives." [Tirmidhi].

Remember that material possessions are

not the be all and end all. Flowers wilt,

chocolates melt (and get eaten!) and jew-

ellery won’t comfort your heart when

you are sad. But your husband’s good

treatment of you is a far more long-

HOW TO MAKE

YOUR HUSBAND PERFECT

By Umm Aaliyah

MARRIAGE

17

lasting token of love. Consider the intangi-

ble gifts he gives you and place the value

on them that they deserve. Think about

how your husband treats you – is he atten-

tive? Does he look after you, comfort you,

and put up with your annoying habits? Ask

yourself - what would you prefer; a hus-

band who buys you everything you want or

a husband who asks you about your day

and really cares about the answer?

There’s nothing wrong with receiving –

and giving – gifts to each other. "The mes-

senger of Allah, peace be upon him, used

to accept gifts and give gifts in re-

turn." [Bukhari]. Just make sure you appre-

ciate anything he gives you – even if it is a

daisy plucked out of the earth.

Why not give your husband material gifts

now and again too. These don’t have to be

expensive: the gift could be a homemade

item or a token doesn’t cost much but re-

minds you of a joke you shared or a day

out. Aim to be the one who is best to her

husband in the way you treat him.


He should be writing you love poetry

Whilst love poems are great as they show

time spent, care taken and are tangible to-

kens of affection – not to mention they are

gestures that remind you of your favourite

film and book heroines – on their own,

they are not enough.

None of us are perfect wives with unlim-

ited talents so is it fair that we expect our

husbands to be good at everything? Some

husbands may be fantastic poets and can

express their love with beautiful words that

melt your heart – but if your husband isn’t

the most verbose then look for other signs

that tell you how he feels.

If your husband doesn’t write you beautiful

love poetry, don’t despair! Remember that

husbands are all individual, just as wives

are, and focus on the ways that he does

show you his love.


“…live with them [wives] on a footing of

kindness and equity” [Noble Quran 4:19]

The Quran says the best husband is the

one who is best to his wife and this is

characterised by his kindness towards

her. What are the ways your husband

expresses his kindness towards you?

Does your husband ever look at you,

perhaps with the utmost love, without

saying a word? Perhaps he feeds you

when he is eating, without you even hav-

ing to ask, just because he wants to

share? Perhaps he respects you and seeks

your opinion on matters? These gestures

hold more love than any poem could

express. Are we being fair if our hus-

bands don’t express their love in the

form of love poetry when other things

they do and say tell us everything we

need to know? A poetic husband is nice

but one who treats you with kindness

and on an equitable basis, is even better.


He should be whisking you away on

romantic surprise holidays

don’t waste your life comparing your

marriage to a film where the man se-

cretly plans a 5* holiday complete with

private jet for the woman, and has even

packed her suitcase, with every item she

needs. Be realistic in your expectations

and align them in accordance with what

you know your husband is capable of.

Some men will be good at planning me-

ticulously to arrange surprises and be

good at grand gestures but some won’t.

Your husband may not be able to pull

things off as perfectly as you have seen

on television, where a script and a false

world make everything seem perfect, but

give him credit for any gestures that his

abilities – and wallet – allow for.

You could also try organising a romantic

surprise getaway yourself and remember

that romance and thoughtful gestures

work both ways. You might inspire him

to plan a future trip himself!


"And among His Signs is this, that He

created for you mates from among your-

selves, that ye may dwell in tranquillity

with them, and He has put love and

mercy between your (hearts). Verily in

that are Signs for those who re-

flect." [Qur'an 30:21]

Allah SWT has made the risq (provision)

levels of human beings vary from one an-

other as a means to test us. Not all hus-

bands can afford to take their wives on sun

-drenched holidays to exotic climes and of

those who can afford it, there will be many

who do not think about romantic gestures

like this or may have set their priorities a

little differently. Discuss what your needs

are – don’t make him guess and remember

that balance in this world is the key to suc-

cess in the next. Appreciate any gestures

he does for you and if it isn’t a trip away,

thank Allah for your husband’s considera-

tion, however he may show it.

All of our husbands will do things that

make our hearts happy so ignore the me-

dia’s portrayal of love – focus on the Is-

lamic ones instead. The Prophet, peace be

upon him, was reported to have said: 'On

the Day of Judgment, God will not look

upon the woman who has been ungrateful

to her husband." When we consider those

of us who are blessed with loving hus-

bands, who are kind and caring and who

treat us with equity, but who we respond to

with by being angry, resentful or ungrate-

ful –because they aren’t meeting our unfair

expectations - we begin to understand this

hadith.

When we look at descriptions of the

Prophet, peace be upon him - who played

games with his wives, spent time with his

wives, showed kindness, affection and

mercy to his wives - we can see what the

perfect husband should look like in Islam.

This is a far cry from the lavish gift-giving,

poetry writing and grand gesture-making

husband that we often see or read about.

Don’t ignore your husband’s acts of love

and kindness by pining for trivial things

instead. This will only make your heart

always feel unfulfilled and result in a bit-

ter, resentful marriage. Consider your hus-

band in light of the authentic sources and

you may find that you have the perfect

husband already.

18

10 QUALITIES

Loved by Allah

Surah Ahzab: Ayah 35

“ Indeed the Muslim men and the Muslim women, the believing men and the believing women, the obedi-

ent men and the obedient women, the truthful men and the truthful women, the patient men and the pa-

tient women, the humble men and the humble women, the charitable men and the charitable women,

the men who fast and the women who fast, the men who guard their chastity and the women who guard

their chastity, the men who remember Allah a lot and the women who remember Allah, Allah has prom-

ised them forgiveness and a great reward.” SUMMER ISSUE 2012 MY MUSLIM VEIL

FAITH

19

1. Being Muslim

Muslim comes from the root salama, to

submit. Islam literally means submis-

sion, and a Muslim is one who submits.

So when someone says he or she is a

Muslim that means he or she submits to

the will of Allah and he or she submits to

His commands.

2. Believing

A Mu’min is someone who really and

truly believes in Allah as well His mes-

sengers and scriptures, along with all

that which Allah has informed us about,

including the Day of Judgment.

3. Being Obedient

The word Obedient does not truly cover

the deep meaning that is included in the

Arabic term: “Qunoot”. Qunoot is to be

absolutely and completely devoted to

the other, and obey his or her every

command.

4. Being Truthful

Truthfulness is a quality that is men-

tioned again and again in the Quran. It

is an extremely important quality to

have as a Muslim. First of all we must

be truthful to our Lord when we say that

we love Him and submit to Him by actu-

ally obeying Him. We must be truthful to

other people in our speech. We must be

truthful with our actions, and make sure

they match our speech. We must be

truthful to ourselves in pointing out our

own mistakes.

5. Being Patient

Patience, sabr, means to control the

nafs, the soul. It is something that may

be difficult to achieve but we must strive

for it and try our best, for the rewards

are great. A believer should always be

patient in any situation. The highest

level of patience is Rida, to be pleased,

satisfied, and content with what has

happened. A believer can reach this

level because he or she knows that

whatever has befallen him or her has

come because Allah willed it to happen

therefore it must be for the best.

6. Being Humble

Khushu’ is the term mentioned in the

ayah. It can be translated as humility but

that doesn’t quite cover it. Khushu’ means

to be afraid of something, to fear it be-

cause of having knowledge of that thing

and thus become humble before it. For

example, we recognize the greatness,

might, power, ability of Allah swt and so we

have fear, fear of disobeying Him and

earning His punishment. As a result of that

fear we are humble before Him.

7. Being Charitable

Sadaqah, charity, is giving to the poor and

the needy. It is a quality that truly proves

that a person prefers the reward of Allah

over their wealth.

8. Fasting

Fasting is a deed that is beloved to Allah

swt. As Muslims, we are commanded to

fast the month of Ramadan from sunrise

to sunset. Besides that, we should also

strive to fast voluntary fasts to get more

reward. Fasting should be a regular habit,

not a chore that we must go through for

only one month every year.

9. Guarding one’s Chastity

We as Muslims should guard our chastity

and protect ourselves from zina, adultery.

Allah swt has made this easy for us to do if

we obey His commands. He has given

people, both men and women, the com-

mand to cover up. Another command

given to facilitate the guarding of chastity

is the command of lowering one’s gaze. By

obeying these commands of Allah as well

as others that He has ordained, we can

keep ourselves away from committing

sins. Allah swt created us and therefore

He knows us best. Whatever He tells us to

do is in our best interest. If Allah gives us

some precautions to take, like lowering

the gaze, to stay away from sin, we should

obey because He knows us best and He

knows what can lead to the sins.

10. Remembering Allah much

It is the constant remembrance of Allah

that enables us to constantly obey Him.

If we are always thinking of Him, then

we should remember what it is that He

wants us to do and what He wants us to

stay away from. Remembering Allah swt

constantly is what will enable us to do

the above mentioned items, and have

the above mentioned qualities.

Forgiveness and a Great Re-

ward

This is what is promised to those who do

what is mentioned above, forgiveness

and a great reward. Forgiveness is

something all humans need because we

are not perfect. We will make mistakes

and we need to seek Allah’s mercy and

forgiveness to be forgiven for them.

A great reward: the greatest reward is

Jannah. Great reward comes in the

hereafter. This world is limited and any

reward that comes in it is temporary.

What is better is the reward in the here-

after that is eternal and not subjected to

the limitations of this world. We should

all strive for reward in the hereafter,

even if it means giving up some immedi-

ate pleasure in this world. Because in

reality, this world is nothing compared to

the hereafter.

Conclusion

I pray to Allah that He enables us to be

of those who hear and obey so we can

do the above mentioned action items.

When we learn of anything we should try

to implement it right away. What are we

waiting for? Death could approach us at

any time whether we are ready for it or

not. So, once we have learned of some-

thing Allah swt, our Creator, wants from

us, we should hasten to do it right away

inshaAllah.


FOR YOUR FAMILY I have never considered myself an extravagant

spender, but it was not until I became a stay-at-

home mom, when I learned the art of really

stretching a dollar. Saving your family money

can be not only a rewarding activity, but you

can turn it into never ending fun quest that will

make you, your husband, and of course, your

family’s valet very happy.

No, you don’t have to go dumpster diving for

coupons, or engage in other questionable activi-

ties. You don’t have to go to the extremes, so

friends permanently label you “cheap”. You just

need to learn how to be thrifty, and use time and

resources to your best advantage. In most of the

scenarios, you do not even need to settle for less

than you want – you can get exactly what you

intended, just pay much less for it, and thus

save money.

I would like to share with you a few tips that

will reduce your family’s spending. Remember,

little saving here and there adds up to big sav-

ings.

Groceries:

Check weekly ad and match it up with coupons

that come in your Sunday paper, Red Plum free

magazine, local free coupon magazine, various

online sites ( just google ). Many stores double

coupons that are 60 cents or less, some

even triple – check your local store coupon

policy.

If you shop earlier in the morning on a

week day, you have higher chances to find

marked down produce ( ex. They baked

too much bread that day, or one apple out

of the bag has a dent – no big deal, but it’s

reduced sometimes up to 80% ). Some-

times stores mark down things that are

closer to the expiration date than the store

wants it to be – those are great buys if

products are freezable. For example,

breads, hummus dip, cheeses, certain

vegetables freeze very well. When frozen,

expo date goes on hold, so when you de-

frost it, the product is save to cook and eat.

Plan you meals so that you never have to

throw away any leftovers. Pack them into

the glass containers and freeze for late use.

If you have a product that you did not es-

pecially like, google to see if you can use it

in some other recipe.

Old does not always mean trash. Older

bananas, apples, peaches are great for bak-

ing sweet breads or making preserves.

Health and Beauty:

Coupons and drug store weekly specials will

make you glad. Many times drug stores offer

rebates, or something like “buy $10 worth of

stuff and get $3 back in extra bucks” etc. When

you pair those weekly deals with your coupons,

you are literally, getting all your shampoos,

soaps and toothpastes for pennies.

Product rebates and try-it-free offers can stock

you up for a long time. Make sure you have

extra copies of your receipts and claims filed

away – companies often like to “loose” those

offers in the mail.

Baby needs:

Last time I checked, best diaper prices are on

Amazon MOM – you have to subscribe to the

products when they are on special.

Pediatrician offices give away free formula,

don’t be shy to ask every time. One time I

walked away with about 15 cans, because they

said no one wanted them. Alhamdulillah I was

blessed with a baby that took any formula I

would offer to him.

Subscribe to Enfamil and Similac Strong

Moms clubs to receive free formula and cou-

BUDGETING TIPS By Natalja K

“..I would like to share

with you a few tips that

will reduce your fam-

ily’s spending. Remem-

ber, little saving here

and there adds up to

big savings…”


FAMILY

21

pons in the mail.

It would not hurt to subscribe to newsletters

from any baby company of your interest –

they send valuable coupons all the time ( Ex.

BabiesRus, baby clothing brands, baby food

brands – google your favorites online and

subscribe ).

I am not a fan of used baby items, because

when you catch a sale with a coupon, you can

get most brand new things for a price com-

petitive to consignment & Garage sales,

Craigslist, eBay. Some things, such as out-

door slides, or things you will only use a few

times, are worth looking into at the above

mentioned resources.

There is a lot of free or relatively free enter-

tainment for the kids. Check out your local

library for story/crafts time; explore all local

parks with playgrounds, Home depot has

crafts class on Saturdays. Follow your local

Parents newspaper ( pick it up at most local

stores in your city, if they have it) for an-

nouncements and events. Zoo, many galleries

and nature centers often offer a free day for

the families.

Retail/ clothes:

Subscribe to your favorite retailer newslet-

ters/ mail to receive store coupons. They all

run promotions several times a year, study

when the best sales take place. For example,

you want to buy that cute dress from Macy’s,

for, let’s say $25. Guess what – Macy’s of-

ten have coupon that reads $10 off your $25

purchase ( send via email ) So you would end

up paying $15.

Buy gift cards to the store online. For exam-

ple, many people on eBay are selling un-

wanted gift cards. Values of the gift cards

vary, but they always end up being sold for a

cheaper price than its value. Going back to

Macy’s example : few days before going to

the store, you will go to eBay, and purchase a

gift card valued at $15, but because it’s auc-

tioned off, you’ll probably pay for it about

$10. Use this strategy with a coupon men-

tioned above and, here you go- you will get a

$25 dress for $10 ( and if that dress happens

to be on clearance, then you are just a super-

saver!).

Buy summer clothes in the winter and winter

in the summer. At change of seasons stores

want to get rid of their inventory, so they

mark things down.

Social/ gifts:

After Christmas sales are my favorite for

perfumes, beauty sets and house gifts. They

are 50% or more off, so why not stock up?

Retailers such as Marshalls, TJ Max some-

times carry same stuff that Bed Bath and

Beyond store does. Be mindful of prices,

though, because some other times you can

score a better deal at Bed Bath and Beyond if

you use their 20% off coupon.

Gas:

Check www.GasBuddy.com for gas prices

around town.

Plan your trips wisely and don’t just drive

around or go to the store for one thing. Make

a trip that will take care of multiple busi-

nesses.

Educate yourself on latest special/freebies:

www.dealnews.com

www.shop4freebies.com

www.1saleaday.com

Google and follow other mom’s blogs on

couponing and saving money – some blogs

offer scenarios for on-going sales at a variety

of stores ( they teach you how to pair up

things with special & coupons to score free

stuff ). There are so many of those, I found

their info very useful many times.

At home job

If you find you have a little more time and

can make some $ from home – go for it!

List unwanted things on eBay. You can also

do eBay as a business- let’s say you found

something amazing on a huge clearance – list

it on eBay and make some money. It works

really well with latest electronics and things

of high demand, brand name clothing ( Nike,

Coach etc. )

Make professional photographs and sell them

on stock photo websites.

Have a blog where you review products.

Many times companies contact bloggers with

offering of their product to try for free and

review.

Become an ambassador for your favorite

company. I recently was selected to join Cof-

feeMate™ Brew Crew team where I do ac-

tivities to promote their brand and in return

get all sorts of perks and freebies from the

company.

Saving money can be fun. If you go

above and beyond, you will save your

family a lot of money – money that can

be spent on anything you otherwise

would not be able to spend it on – a va-

cation, a charitable donation…the choice

is yours ! Enjoy exploring your options

and may Allah reward you for your ef-

forts to save your family money.


http://www.dealnews.com

http://www.shop4freebies.com

http://www.1saleaday.com

AT TALBINA

At talbina is an easy to make and healthy recipe from

the Sunnah of the prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him).

At talbina is a soup made from ground barley

with the bran that was used widely in the time of

our Prophet Mohammed (peace be upon him)

therefore mentioned in the book of the

“Prophetic medicine” by Ibn Qay’em El-Jozeyah

to give nourishment to the weak and to the sick.

In this book we can read: “ Whole grain barley

soup digest quickly and provide good nutrition

and cleanses the stomach when taken while it is

still hot.” p149

“At-talbina gives rest to the heart of the patient

and makes it active and relieves some of his sor-

row and grief” (Sahih Bukhari).

Did you use white flour during the lifetime of the

Prophet?” Sahl replied, “No.” Hazim asked,

“Did you used to sift barley flour?” He said,

“No, but we used to blow off the husk (of the

barley)” (Sahih Bukhari).

Some historical facts about barley:

Barley was widely used in Ancient time. Barley

was one of the first domesticated grains in the

Fertile Crescent which spans the land of present

day Iraq, Syria, Occupied Palestine, Israel and

Lebanon. Wild barley (H. vulgare ssp. sponta-

neum) ranges from North Africa and Crete in the

west, to Tibet in the east. The earliest evidence of

wild barley in an archeological context comes

from the Epipaleolithic at Phalo II at the southern

end of the Sea of Galilee (Wikipedia).

Some nutritional facts about barley:

According to the USDA Nutrient database, 100

g of raw Barley (3,5 oz) will provide you with:

15.6 Dietary fiber

9.9 Protein

29 mg calcium

79 mg magnesium

221 mg phosphorus

2.1 mg zinc

It is also rich in copper, manganese, lutein and

zeaxanthin. All these nutrients and antioxidants

play an important role in your health. Selenium,

for example, protects skin from free radical

damage and improves the immune system.

Phosphorus is essential for proper formation of

teeth and bones and corrects cell growth. Cop-

per helps in the formation of red blood cells and

hemoglobin.

Some of the health benefit of consuming bar-

ley: According to a recent study, eating whole grain

barley can regulate blood sugar (i.e. reduce

blood glucose response to a meal) for up to 10

hours after consumption compared to white or

even whole-grain wheat, which has a similar

glycemix index. The effect was attributed to

colonic fermentation of indigestible carbohy-

drates. (Needless to mention how much benefit

lies on the consumption of barley for people in

your life who suffer health problems like diabe-

tes.)

This whole grain is not only packed with vita-

mins, minerals and antioxidants, but it is also

one of the richest sources of fiber, both soluble

and insoluble. Insoluble fiber helps in the de-

toxification of the body, while soluble fiber

attaches to fats to aid them in getting out of

your body. And it is this fiber component that

causes a delay in the stomach emptying there-

fore slowing down the body's absorption of

carbohydrates from foods.

Furthermore, according to a study made by the

American Journal of Clinical Nutrition in 2004,

consuming diets with 3 to 6 grams of beta-

glucan soluble fiber (Beta-glucan, a form of

fiber found in the body, is effective in lowering

blood LDL cholesterol level or low-density

lipoprotein commonly known as bad choles-

terol) effectively reduces 6 to 8 percent of LDL

cholesterol. Low cholesterol levels can help

reduce the risks of other health problems like

strokes.

Finally as mentioned in the book of the pro-

phetic medicine; consuming barley soup help

cleanses the body. It is now said that barley can

help protect against certain form of cancer like

colon cancer because of the dietary fiber it de-

livers providing the good bacteria that will (re-)

colonize the colon and promote better function-

ing of the gut and therefore the overall health.

Last but not least, consuming barley will help

you lose weight since it naturally controls your

appetite (and cleanse fat)! You feel full faster

and for a longer period.

I am sure you will find a good reason among

this appealing display of benefits to add barley

as a regular item in your grocery list!


RECIPES


23

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Neolithic_founder_crops

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/North_Africa

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Crete

Here is one way to make At talbina:

½ cup of well ground barley (I use a coffee grinder)

3 cups water

1 tsp of sea salt

¼ cup of milk

1/3 cup of raw honey

Pour the water with salt to a boil then add the

ground barley. Mix with a whisker to dilute the bar-

ley into the water. When the liquid comes back to

boiling reduce the heat and let it cook in low to me-

dium heat for 45 min. Check and mix few times. At

the end add the milk and off heat add the honey and

eat the soup warm.

For more information on wellness and

health from an Islamic perspective,

more healthy tips and recipes please

visit: shifa4u.com

This is a meal that I make often for my family in the morning because it is satisfying, healthy and

it keeps my family and myself full of energy until lunch time! It can also be prepared as another

meal of the day or during Ramadhan for Suhr as it keep you full longer.

First you will need to prepare the barley ahead of time to make the process easier as barley takes

time to cook. You can either use a pressure cooker or a slow cooker.

If you use a slow cooker then pour in the same ingredient and program it in high for 3 hours and

let it cook through the night for example.

Keep this cooked barley in a glass container and put it in the fridge you can use it as needed

through the week.

For 3 to 5 persons:

3 cup of water

½ cinnamon

½ ground anise

3 cup of the cooked barley

⅓ cup of milk

⅓ cup honey

1 tbsp of organic coconut oil (or 2 tbsp of olive oil)

Bring the water to a boil and add the spices. Then add the cooked barley and let it cook on me-

dium to low heat for 7 to 10 min while stirring occasionally. At the end of the process add the

milk and let boil for another minute or two. Off heat add the honey and oil and enjoy. You can

toss on top of your bowl of barley cereal some nuts or dried fruits. Enjoy!

If you use a pressure cooker to cook the barley you will need 1 cup of barley for 6 cup of water

and a tsp of sea salt. Put it to cook on medium high heat and count 15-20 min after the whistle

starts. Let it cool before opening the pressure cooker. Then add ½ cup of milk and let cook for

another minute or two. Off heat add the honey, oil and enjoy.


Breakfast cereal with whole barley At-Talbina

24

Your Own Hair Mask If only achieving perfect hair

was possible at the click of a

finger; picture perfect hair

without the fuss and tears. I

can’t tell you enough how

many times I’ve tried to

achieve the perfect hairstyle

but to my dismay, it would

end up a mess.

Although no one’s invented

the whole ‘perfect hair at a

click of a finger thing’, achiev-

ing great hair needn’t be diffi-

cult. The key to great hair is

keeping it in good condition

as it’ll always look wrong if

your hair’s damaged with split

ends, frizzy and just a mess,

no matter if you put hours of

effort into perfecting it. Regu-

lar conditioning can prevent

all of this as conditioning

treatments are packed with

ingredients that work wonders

on your hair depending on

your hairs needs, and they

coat the strands of hair to

keep it moisturised, hydrated

and a plethora of other things

such as protecting the colour of

the hair, preventing sun dam-

age and repairing heat damage.

Regardless of your budget, you

can slather these deep treat-

ments all over your locks at

least once a week, and you’ll be

seeing results as soon as you

wash these out. Leaving the

mask in your hair for a mini-

mum of 1-2 hours ensures

maximum results:


BEAUTY

25

By Hafsa Issa-Salwe

Splurge

Macadamia Oil Deep Repair Mask

The macadamia oil in the mask helps to repair

the hair from all the harm we do to our hair

including straightening, colouring and harsh

styling. Consider this as a peace offering to

your hair!

Middle Ground

LUSH H’Suan Wen Hua

Packed with balsamic vinegar, cinnamon leaf

oil, bay leaf oil, banana, avocado, egg, rose-

mary and olive oil, this mask is a pre-

shampoo treatment and will transform the

most unruly of hair.

Budget

Aussie 3 Minute Miracle Frizz

Remedy

Cheap but most definitely better than many of

the other expensive frizz combating products

out there. It also smells divine so, don’t eat it!


You can also whip up a few of your own

and sometimes nothing works best than us-

ing Allah’s ingredients! My two favourite

homemade masks rival many of the hair

masks I’ve purchased so don’t be afraid to

experiment at home by mixing up your fa-

vourite oils and kitchen ingredients like

honey. I always advise using existing hair

conditioner as a base to my mixes and I’ll

add a spoon of honey, a few drops of my

favourite essential oil, some castor oil and

the list goes on!

The most simple yet very trusty hair mask I

make includes just three ingredients. Honey,

olive oil and hair conditioner. Honey is a

humectant which means it draws moisture

towards the hair which is perfect for those

with parched hair. The olive oil conditions

the hair and because the mask is warm, the

heat allows the oil and honey to penetrate

the hair shaft leaving your hair even more

moisturised than if you were to use it un-

heated:

You’ll need:

1/3 cup of hair conditioner

1 tablespoon of honey

2 tablespoons of olive oil

Directions:

Warm the conditioner in the microwave

for no longer than 30 seconds.

Add the honey in first as it’ll be easier

for the honey to melt into the warm con-

ditioner.

Mix the olive oil in and make sure

you’ve mixed all of the products thor-

oughly well.

My Coconutty Hair Masque, a mask

I’d recommend to those with thicker hair

only consists of hair conditioner, coco-

nut oil and coconut milk. Coconut oil

and milk are both rich in protein which

is essential for preventing hair breakage,

damage and will leave your hair thicker

and shinier:

You’ll need:

1/3 cup of hair conditioner

2 heaped tablespoons of coconut oil

2 tablespoons of coconut milk

Directions:

Add the coconut oil to the conditioner. Co-conut oil tends to get quite hard under a particular temperature so if yours is hard, stir the oil around a little or run under hot water. However, make sure you don’t melt it and just use it when it’s not too hard but not runny either. You’ll get a nice fluffy consistency when you don’t melt it. Then add the coconut milk but be careful to make sure that the mixture is not runny. It should be thick! You might get a few lumps from the coco-nut oil as you didn’t melt it so if that’s the case just smooth them out with a spoon.

As nice as a finger clicking machine would be, you can get yourself gorgeous hair with these wonderful masks. Washing your hair has never been so fun. Now stop reading this and get to conditioning!


Blessed and Blissful The glasses and crockery

tinkle delicately as feminine

giggles and pleasurable

conversational banter per-

vade the festive air. Bever-

ages and finger food are

passed around as arriving

guests take off their demure

jilbabs and headscarves

amid excited greetings and

bear hugs. Girly parties are a

delight for any woman who

attends.

Her eyes furtively take in the

glittering diamonds dangling

from the ears of the chatty

sister sitting next to her; the

flashy touchscreen smart-

phone another sister across

the room extracts from her

branded leather tote, and

the name printed boldly on

the soles of the stylish

suede ballet flats another

sister takes off before tread-

ing on the plush carpet to

enter the room.

Long after they have bid

each other adieu and left for

their homes, the beautiful

imagery of the bling, glamor,

silks, chiffons, rouge and

leather dwindles in her

mind. Her mood takes a

downward plunge as she

directs her disdainful gaze

on the sparse contents of

her wardrobe. She can’t

quite put a finger on what is

causing her to feel dissatis-

fied, deprived, impoverished

and so…unblessed.

“When will I have enough

money to finally buy a smart-

phone?!” she asks herself

irritably as she remembers

how she was the only one in

the room who could not take

a photo from her gadget - a

simple cellular phone model

without a built-in camera.

Before she knows it, un-

gratefulness and ingratitude

for the blessings of Allah

unwittingly creep into her

heart, and the malicious

pangs of envy are beginning

to undermine not just her

faith but also her pleasure

with Allah’s decree regarding

her lot in life.

‘Greener Grass’ may lead to

‘Green Eyes’

There are moments like

these in every believer’s life,

when he encounters situa-

tions and people whose

comparatively better-off

physical appearance, health,

personality, success, finan-

cial position, popularity, or

social status, makes them

ungrateful to Allah, because

they allow themselves to

feel deprived and less

blessed in comparison.

These differences, especially

those in economic ranks

and social class, have been

put in place by Allah, the All-

Wise, Himself, as a test for

us, and in order to make

human society function

smoothly so that all of its

members are able to take

work from one and another

in return for wages.

Allah says in the Quran:

“Is it they who would portion

out the Mercy of your Lord?

It is We Who portion out

between them their liveli-

hood in the life of this world:

and We raise some of them

above others in ranks, so

that some may command

work from others. But the

Mercy of your Lord is better

than the (wealth) which they

amass.” [43:32]

Shukr and its kinds

Being Grateful:

“...being grateful means appreciating not just the bounties that we

enjoy in our lives on a daily basis, but also thanking Allah for the

tests, trials, difficulties and calamities that He sends our way….”

By Sadaf Farooqi


REMINDERS

28

It is interesting to ponder on the root

meaning of the Arabic word shukr that is

used to denote gratefulness and pleas-

ure with what Allah has decreed for one’s

sustenance. When used for a she-camel,

the Arabic word “shakar” means that the

she-camel’s udder abounded with milk

after it had little milk, when she con-

sumed a share of leguminous pasturage

(Lane).

The word shukr implies three-

dimensional appreciation of the benefac-

tor who has provided one with any kind of

benefit: shukr of the heart or mind, shukr

of the tongue, and shukr of the limbs or

body.

The shukr of the heart and mind is de-

noted by being humble, lowly and sub-

missive towards the benefactor, resulting

in nothing but love and pleasant feelings

for them.

The shukr of the tongue is depicted by

praising, glorifying and verbally thanking

the benefactor, as well as by mentioning

or openly proclaiming the blessings that

they have given to you.

Finally, the shukr of the limbs or the body

is denoted by using them in complete

submission, obedience and subservience

to the approval and command of the

benefactor, in the way the benefactor

wants them to be used; not how they

would dislike.

Media and Modernity

Nowadays, it is easy to fall into two polar-

ized extremes. One involves adopting

such a consumeristic lifestyle and materi-

alistic habits that one forgets about one’s

acquisitions as soon as they come into

one’s possession, to commence hot pur-

suit of the next object of desire, be it a

newly launched brand, a seasonal fash-

ion accessory, or the latest version of an

app-loaded technological gadget. The

acquisition, showing off and pursuit of

material assets has now been blown fur-

ther out of proportion by social media,

smartphone technology, instant publishing,

and online marketing.

Lying at the other extreme is extreme as-

ceticism and denial of the permissible

(halal) blessings that Allah has bestowed us

with, to reach a negative mental state in

which one dwells relentlessly upon the ram-

pant misery, poverty, civil strife, oppression

and anarchy in the world. This attitude

makes one get sucked into a one-way,

downward spiral of morbid thoughts, gloom

and depression.

Being grateful falls somewhere perfectly in

between - to maintain the optimum balance

that does completely away with avarice,

envy and greed; grants one an air of satis-

fied contentment and self-sufficiency, and

makes one think constantly about, and

mention to others, just how much Allah has

blessed them in every way.

Remember those who have it

worse….MUCH worse

While we sleep at night in our homes on our

warm beds, with a sense of peace and se-

curity, mentally reminding ourselves of the

normal, everyday chores and errands we

have to do the next day, such as the quick

grocery run en route to the weekly Quran

halaqah, a sister somewhere in the world is

sitting on the ground with her head in her

hands after having her home demolished by

occupational forces in her homeland.

As we crib about the laundry pile getting too

high, and the milk that our children drink

not being organic enough, somewhere in

the world, a sister is sobbing over the man-

gled corpse of her teenaged son who got

caught in a crowd of protesters; was ar-

rested, jailed and then tortured to death by

pro-government law-enforcers.

And, as we worry that our parents pamper

and spoil our children too much with gifts

and attention, we should remember that

somewhere in the world, a sister is hearing

news over the phone of the death of her

elderly parents in a massive flood back in

her home country on the other side of the

globe. With tears pouring down her cheeks,

she wishes that she had cashed in on their

presence more, treated them more kindly,

visited them more often, and done more to

make them happy while they were still alive

and present in the world, worrying about her,

loving her unconditionally, and wishing the

best for her.

The loftiest shukr

Shukr or being grateful means appreciating

not just the bounties that we enjoy in our

lives on a daily basis, but also thanking Allah

for the tests, trials, difficulties and calamities

that He sends our way. This is the loftiest

form of shukr, which enables a believer to

realize that even the calamities are good for

him, because they give him a chance to be-

get forgiveness for his sins and to ascend

loftier ranks of faith, adding good deeds to

his account in the Akhirah.

What should one do when they feel ingrati-

tude, or kufr - which is the opposite of shukr -

building up in their heart? The answer is

simple: force yourself to remember how for-

tunate you are by listing all the blessings you

have that others do not possess, even those

that people would give their right arm to

have.

Try to count your blessings - literally!

If it helps, make a list on a piece of paper, of

all the blessings that you have, even those

you take for granted, such as the ears with

which you hear and the properly functioning

brain cells and eyesight with which you are

reading this article.

Once you begin to make this list, you will

realize something magnanimous; something

huge; something that Allah has already

stated in the Quran:

“If you would count up the favors of Allah,

never would you be able to number them: for

Allah is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful.” [16:18]


My Journey to Islam My life had been one of neglect and

abuse. My mother and I were never close,

my presence was an inconvenience.

With that being said, I grew up hurt, angry

and continually wondering what I had done

so bad by being born. I was jealous over

my friends with "happy normal families".

I desired to have a loving home and par-

ents, but that never happened. The mental

and emotional scars from years of abuse

lingered on over my youth, teenage years

and adulthood.

I was Mormon for many years and contin-

ued searching in other denominations the

whole time, from one church to another,

but nothing fulfilled my heart and soul.

I have never been able to accept Jesus

(peace be to him) as god or even as the

son of god. It has never made sense to me

that the Creator needs assistance in the

creation process or that anyone can have

a godly state. I had many more questions

and doubts about the absolute correct-

ness of the bible, I always felt like at one

time it may have been correct but then

'man' corrupted the writings. My own opin-

ion.

In CA I began working with Del Norte

Clinics, Inc., it was the first time I know-

ingly was around Seik, Hindu and Mus-

lims, the only thing I knew about Mus-

lims was they fasted once a year for 30

days sunup to sundown.

My Seik friends took me to their Temple,

everyone was so nice and polite, very

accepting and kind. I just couldn't em-

brace more than one god.

One day I saw a Dr. in a white head

scarf and a long modest dress, it felt

like a magnet drawing me to her. Quietly

I approached the Dr. and I asked about

the scarf and dress, she said 'I am Mus-

lim', and I asked if she could help me

learn, this wonderful Dr. supplied me

with books, CD's, DVD's, I knew immedi-

ately this was my destiny where I be-

longed.

I took my Shahadah (testimony of Faith)

and have never regretted a moment,

never have looked back, I am no longer

searching for my place with GOD, I only

search for more knowledge and wisdom

to improve my deen (religion) and be a

better Muslimah.

What I didn't know was what would

begin once I accepted Islam and felt

my conviction to wear hijab, first; I lost

all my family, was told by my mother "

You are not Arab you are an American".

Second, I came to look for work here in

Michigan and no one will hire me be-

cause I wear hijab. I have been without

income for 11 months, but I cannot

compromise what I know I should do. I

have never stood up for anything so I

fell for everything! Islam is the air I

breathe and I cannot take my hijab off

for any human. I never thought of this

type of treatment by others because I

have never seen any human for their

color of skin, religion or culture. So my

mind can not comprehend this mental-

ity.

Since being Muslim and wearing hijab I

am understanding just how much mis-

understanding there is about Islam

and its our duty as Muslims to spread

the true message of Islam.


CONVERTS

30

By Fatimeh Hassan

Summer Fun with Butterflies

This is a fun craft for all ages, the possibilities are endless. With a simple technique learn how colors

mix , patterns form and designs emerge …. just like a butterfly !

1- You will need , cardstock , paint , puffy sticks , scissors and

scotch tape.

2- Fold the cardstock into half and put dollops of paint on one

half.

3- Now fold the cardstock and press from the center outwards

with your hands. Gently pull the paper apart , a beautiful butterfly

will have formed. Let it dry.

4- Cut out the butterfly .Use the puffy sticks to make feelers , stick

them on the blank side of your butterfly. Use your creations to

decorate your home , cards or presents. Have fun !

CRAFTS By Nida Mujahid

Documents

Summer Issue