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The Blacks’ Organ Vol 11, June 29, 2012

Greetings and welcome to Volume 11 of Substandard, the Blacks Organ, for season 2012. A whole

heap of quality material floating around the AUFC this week, with highlights including two AUFC past

players being selected in the EJ Whitten Legends Game, a great Cowboys from Hell match report for

the Pimps 250th and a big weekend at Uni Oval coming up. Thanks as always for your interest in the

AUFC, if you have any interesting stuff or Bob Neil photos to send through please email me at

chairman@bobneil.com or call 0414 488 282.

GREYS LUNCH – FRIDAY 20TH AT THE CUMBY On Friday the 20th we will be having a Greys Lunch at the Cumby in the lead up to the big premiership

reunion day/night at Bob Neil 1 on Saturday the 21st. All past players, members, supporters and

hangers on are invited and there will be guest speaker(s) announced early next week. Cost will be $60

for members and $80 for others, which includes a 3 course meal and booze, so its super value. Put it in

the diary and start getting you tables together, we are limited to 100 people via 10 tables of 10. We

will send a specific emails round early next week asking for RSVPs etc.

Then, Saturday the 21st is a big reunion day at Bob Neil # 1 as the Contract Killers take on Max

Walkerville. We will be celebrating, amongst others, the 30 year premiership reunion of Rockys

Ratpack, 40 years for the 1972 A3 Reserves led by Prof Harcourt, 15 years for all five lower grade

teams of 1997, and 13 years for the 1999 Div 1 team. That 1999 A grade team will celebrate anything!

ROUND 10 REVIEW 4 out of 5 in a bye shortened weekend was a great result for the AUFC but it really should have put a

hole in Aussie Bob’s wallet the size of a keg because we were a C-Bomb win away from our first 100%

mark of the year. And they lost to the bottom team at home! Anyway, that makes no difference to the

rest of us because we get a keg courtesy of Cyril instead…and he’ll probably get excited and buy 50

vodkas after the keg so arguably its a better result.

The Contract Killers beat Flinders Park in a really tough contest to reverse the round 1 result at Bob

Neil 1 and, as requested, put Wacko back in his box for a short period of time anyway. CRT kicking two

late ones out of his backside after not having a touch all day to put the game away, whilst boom

recruit little-cock Roach played his best game for the club just before taking off to Europe for 3 weeks

– good to see he’s embraced our culture quickly.

Graeme can’t get on the field but he continued his fine form in meat tray raffles with yet another

comprehensive victory at Flinders Park

AUFC 9.3 (57) defeated Flinders Park 7.7 (49)

Best: Quin, Roach, J. Lewis, McIntyre, Hurley-Wellington, Sharley, Davis, Allan

Goals: B.Lewis 3, Roberts-Thompson 2, Mulvihill, Davis, Willis, Rohde

POS TEAM P W L D B FF For Agst % PTS

1 Tea Tree Gully 10 8 2 0 0 0 1082 719 60.08 16

2 Adelaide University 10 7 3 0 0 0 880 616 58.82 14

3 Port District 10 7 3 0 0 0 1095 841 56.56 14

4 Modbury 10 6 3 1 0 0 724 691 51.17 13

5 Walkerville 10 6 4 0 0 0 824 807 50.52 12

6 Portland 10 5 5 0 0 0 839 994 45.77 10

7 Prince Alfred OC 10 4 6 0 0 0 786 880 47.18 8

8 Flinders Park 10 3 7 0 0 0 859 825 51.01 6

9 Old Ignatians 10 3 7 0 0 0 702 1058 39.89 6

10 Eastern Park 10 0 9 1 0 0 790 1150 40.72 1

The Non-Fighting Irish (with Walkies) continue to dominate the 2 Reserves competition with an 11

goal belting of the Parks despite the standard 9 changes that were made, Swince and Dr Quin

Medicine Woman starring.

At Bob Neil 1 the C-Bombs imploded against bottom of the table Giggle Farm and now have a lot of

work ahead of them to get back into finals contention. In fairness to Cyril everything that could go

wrong did go wrong for the C-Bombs this week:

1. Vice Captain Slippa made the very bizarre decision, even by his lofty standards, to go on a wine tour

with his wife instead of lead the C-bombs in this crucial game. His VC status is hereby revoked.

2. Cyril was so impressed with the success of the Greys thus far this year that he elected to pick the

oldest team ever in AUFC C grade history – 10 over 30 and 5 over 35, including the comeback king (for

1 week only) EMC Arnold.

3. The veterans weren’t helped by one of the token youngsters, mad Irishman Ronan Keating on loan

from the Scum, calling Cyril 15 minutes into the game still trying to find the oval notwithstanding the

fact he has played 17 games for the club and we were playing at home. He then came onto the field

and twanged within 5 minutes and when sole ruckman Malcolm Blyth went down with Shaggers Back

before quarter time (and was consuming his second red can on the sidelines before half time) we

were really forked.

4. Clive Waterhouse and Nick Haslam weren’t there this week.

In the early game the Cowboys from Hell won well in the Pimps 250th and provided the match report

of the week thanks primarily to some brilliant brain fades by the Giggling ones, and lastly the B*stards

produced a remarkable victory against the top of the ladder Max Walkerville at Bob Neil 2 in the early

game, at one stage being up 9 goals to zip before taking the foot off the pedal so as not to alert the

SAAFL drug testers. They also wrote a good match report.

As always, detailed results/reports for all teams are on www.bobneil.com (click round by round

results) and you can also find the round 11 teams on the site.

AUFC DOMINATE EJ WHITTEN LEGENDS GAME SELECTION Huge news this week that our own legendary Darren “The Jerk, He’s Fatty little Darren” Graetz has

been selected for the all-stars team in the EJ Whitten Legends game, which is on next Tuesday night at

7:30 on Channel 9. For those that are interested we will be heading upstairs at the Cumby for a feed

and a few beers to watch the game on the big screen.

Jerk joins another prominent grey, Anthony “Lehmo, I’m Anthony” Lehmann (62 games, 29 goals, 12

jugs of beer) in the all-stars team and ensures that the Blacks have as many representatives in this

game as the Crows and Power combined. See below for all players by club:

Hawthorn, Collingwood 6

Brisbane, Geelong, Carlton 5

Essendon, St Kilda 4, Sydney 4

West Coast 3

Melbourne, Adelaide University, North, Fremantle, Port, Richmond, Bulldogs 2

Adelaide Crows 0

GWS 0

Gold Coast 0

Not only that, but we also have other connections through Ben and Nick Holland, who are strong

Blacks supporters and brothers of our own Dutchy, and Maxy Rooke who is the younger brother of

Sam who played 14 very hard nosed games for the AUFC back in the late 90s (we’ve only just worked

that connection out!).

Good luck to Lehmo and the Jerk, what a legend he is. Well deserved.

ROUND 11 PREVIEW Back to a full schedule of 8 games this weekend for the AUFC:

Div 2 (Aussie Bob & The Contract Killers) V Old Ignatians at Uni Oval

Div 2R (Spud O'Rielly & the non-fighting Irish) V Old Ignatians at Uni Oval

Div 6 (Cyril & the C-Bombs) V Lockleys at Lockleys Oval

Div 6R (Sugar Ray & the Cowboys from Hell) V Lockleys at Lockleys Oval

Div 8 (The Chardonnay Socialists) V Salisbury at Salisbury Oval

Div 8R (The Scum) V Salisbury at Salisbury Oval

Div C1 (The B*stards) V Ovingham at Park 10 at 12:15

Div Over 35s (The Greys) V Gawler at Uni Oval at 1:00 Sunday

This edition is big enough without going into detail on these games, but suffice to say they are all

important ones and should be competitive. The Contract Killers, who kicked 4.21 last time they played

the young Very Old Ignatians team, Non-Fighting Irish and B*stards will all go in as favourites on

Sportsbet, however the remaining teams have real battle on their hands against opposition that are

above them on the table.

All betting markets on Greys games are now closed given their dominance of the competition. They

play Gawler on Sunday at Bob Neil 1 and you can find a preview of this round of Greys activity by

clicking on the link below.

LOOK-A-LIKE OF THE WEEK Jack Whiting taught that upstart Tomic an absolute tennis lesson at Wimbledon this week.

BLAST FROM THE PAST - FGA REUNION Dear 2002 FGA Squad…

2012 marks 10 years since the 4th of the FGA’s 8 Premierships, and our ‘Hat-Trick’ 3rd out of 4 in a row,

and along with 2006 vs Central United, the 2002 flag was probably the most famous as we came back

from 4 goals down at half time to defeat Henley at Payneham Oval. So please see details below for

reunion weekend now less than a fortnight away, and please RSVP ASAP for Friday dinner and

Sunday game;

• Friday, June 29th – Dinner @ Hackney Hotel ‘Boardroom’ from 6pm (95 Hackney Road + wives,

partners and children etc included, and Blues vs Hawks on TV)

• Saturday, June 30th – For those keen the ‘A’ Grade are playing @ Uni Oval, then later ‘Hold

Your Bowlies’ @ Cumberland Arms from 6:30pm (new venue)

• Sunday, July 1st – Undefeated Over 35’s Uni Greys playing Gawler @ Uni Oval, time TBC (Jerk,

Krazy, Lazy (needs 8 goals for 350), Krief, Coatsy, Chevy, #42 are regulars), and seriously ALL

are welcome to play, and we have actually moved this game from original Lobethal venue so

that FGA reunion boys can play (eg Shep, JJ, Uppy, Bewey (needs 2 goals for 300), Kampffy,

Appo, Birdy etc?), plus the new Uni Oval Long Room will be open so again wives, children,

families and friends all most welcome and encouraged to come!

FGA 12.10 (82) def Henley 8.4 (52) by 30 points @ Payneham Oval, September 14th 2002

F – Aplin, Graetz, Waddington

HF – Ettridge, S.Uppington, C.Uppington

C – Legrand, S.Clark, P.White

HB – Krievs, Shepherdson, Kuchel

B – P.Hochman, Coats, Kain

R – Mallon, G.White, Bird

I – M.Hochman, N.Vezis, Wojcik, Kirchner

Coach: Foster

Umpire: Book

Manager: Amber

Physio: Jo Richardson

Goal, Boundary, Water: M Hochman, J Hochman, L Hochman

Goals – Graetz 4, Aplin 2, N.Vezis 2, Legrand 2, S.Uppington 1, P.White 1

Best Players – Krievs, Legrand, Kuchel, Mallon, G.White, P.White

In 2002 the FGA had their first loss in 3 years to Port District’s stacked team vs multiple FGA stand-

downs in Rd 6 to halt their 42 match undefeated record (the SAAFL record was 43!) and Jerk equalled

the club games record at the time with his 343rd game in the GF (on his way to career tally of 465 and

counting).

One of the great groups/concepts in club history, enjoy the festivities all. And if you want to see some

highlights click below courtesy of Wes:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_jOUMxooVB8&feature=youtu.be

MELBOURNE FUNCTION Despite the Crows horrible performance at Etihad the Melbourne chapter had a great time at the

lunch at the All Nations Hotel. Thanks to everyone for coming along and special thanks to John Harms,

who was a very entertaining speaker and host. And of course, well played Rulebook once again, none

of these shows would happen without the great man.

That’s a Bob Neil headband on Harmsy if you can’t make it out

Tim Davidson, King of Passion, Our Don Haslam

A dressed up Rulebook (he has jeans on) and Harmsy

MICHELLE LEGRAND 250 GAMES Wes joined the club from PAOC, where he was great mates with the good Uppy, and Sturt under 19s

in 2000 and has thus far played 253 games (we missed his 250th a few weeks ago!) and kicked 310

goals. According to Chocka he is the fastest ever AUFC player to 150, 200 and 250 games due to lots of

double-ups and also most games played (142) before A grade debut in 2007.

From 12 completed seasons (this being the 13th):

• 7 flags from 11 GF’s

• 9 Blacks B&F

• 8 SAAFL B&F

• 1 Blacks & SAAFL Leading Goalkicker

• PB of 10 goals in a game

• 3 Best in Finals

• 1 Top Team Man

When asked about Wes, the Jerk made the following wise observation “As impressive as Wes’s on

field achievements have been I believe that his dedication to the off-field side is second to none. If we

ever get that promised global recession he has a ready made career in events coordination. Keeping a

close group of friends together and providing a regular forum to catch up and enjoy each others

company building those modest success stories into epics of global triumph will be an important and

enduring legacy.” Hear hear

Uppy was less complimentary “The 17 time Malcolm ashwood medallist has suffered a small dip in

form during the later stages of his career, a period which coincided with ashwood no longer umpiring

his games”.

Congrats Wes, a great achievement to get to 250 games and as Jerk mentioned, a tireless contributor

off field as well.

MATCH REPORT OF THE WEEK – COWBOYS FROM HELL AUFC 15.10.100

Giggle Farm 4.5.29

There was some concern at 11:45 when the Pimp still hadn’t arrived for his own milestone game but it

turned out he was just getting even more immaculately groomed than normal for the photo session

that was to take place at 12:10 on the oval. To continue the lateness theme, Dimma then came onto

the oval for an inspirational pre-match address to the Cowboys at 12:14, which unfortunately was

perfectly timed at 10 minutes when the ex Scum Super-Coach rehearsed it on Thursday night to

Super-Wife Robbi, and was therefore rudely interrupted when an impatient Rulebook threw the ball in

the air to start the game with the Cowboys still hanging off every Dimarzo word.

The game started out tight but the Cowboys started getting on top in the second quarter to head into

the main break with a comfortable 4 goal lead. Highlight to that point was Katsy’s quarter time

instruction of “everyone, don’t back-chat the umpires, they’ve got a job to do and us talking back isn’t

going to help us…….apart from me, because I simply can’t help myself they’re so fkn hopeless, but the

rest of you shut up”.

The Cowboys are clearly unfamiliar with the concept of a half-time BREAK (ie sit down in my language)

as captain Pimp and coach Sugar addressed the team/made changes/had a drink within the first 2

minutes of the break and then suggested that the Cowboys head back out for a warm up. Screecher

then thought that an inspirational Screecher address was required, which set the monkeys off at the

zoo as per normal, and proceeded to scream that the Giggles were so disintersted in the game that

they didn’t even want to come back out again after half time. That’s because there was still another

13 minutes till the game re-commenced Screech!!!

Anyway, after we twiddled our thumbs and stretched hamstrings for the 17th time, maybe Screecher

was right after all because the Cowboys came out all guns blazing in the 3rd and by the 21:58 minute

mark of he last quarter they had established a convincing 65 point lead when the fun really began. The

last quarter had all been about getting the Neat Freak a goal but despite their best efforts it seemed

that no matter what was done there was going to be no fairytale finish for the Pimp (remembering it

took him 92 games to kick his first goal, so it was never going to be easy). Enter Giggle Farm number

29.

With the clock at 21:58 (remembering quarters go for 22:00) the Pimp is still trying valiantly and he

chases down number 29 as he is dawdling out of the Cowboys forward line. He’s probably 60 out from

goal when the Pimp lays a perfect tackle and gets the first holding the ball decision of the day from the

Giggle umpire just as the siren goes. Number 29 is so so furious with the decision that he picks up the

ball, screams at the top of his lungs and throws it down on the ground in a fit of rage, which leaves the

Giggle umpire with no option but to call him back for a 25 metre penalty, thereby putting Pimp only 35

out from goal. Most of the Cowboys still thought that was out of the old mans range so tried to niggle

the Giggles into another 25, however when it became apparent that the Giggles didn’t see the humour

in that little strategy and that it really wasn’t worth inciting an all-in, we were left with the Pimp

kicking from 35 after the siren. He kicked it, off course, otherwise I wouldn’t be telling the story, and

as the fairytale concluded he was chaired off in front of his adoring fans (Bel, Noah and the B*stards

sitting around an esky).

The celebrations continued back at the Cumby thanks to an excellent Bowlies cameo from the scum

legend Dimma. Best at Bowlies goes to Alan from the Hangover for really getting into character and

getting removed, twice, before 11pm, and subsequently being banned from any licensed premises in

the CBD for the next 3 months. Next stop Vegas.

Big Als Grandson impressed by the quality in the Giggle Farm cheersquad.

UPCOMING EVENTS

Date Event Venue

30-Jun-12 Parents Day Uni Oval Long Room @ 1:30

07-Jul-12 Ladies Day Uni Oval Long Room @ 1:00

20-Jul-12 Presidents/Greys Lunch The Cumby

21-Jul-12 Reunion/Homecoming Day Uni Oval Long Room @ 1:00

04-Aug-12 Blacks Ball Dom Polski Centre, 8:00pm

04-Aug-12 1962 Premiership Reunion Lunch Uni Oval Long Room @ 1:00

18-Aug-12 Presidents Lunch Uni Oval Long Room @ 12:00

16-Sep-12 Super Sunday The Cumby

28-Sep-12 Annual Dinner Adelaide Uni

The Blacks room upstairs at the Cumby is a terrific venue for functions, capacity of 135 for cocktail and

100 for sit down dinner. Special offers available to friends of the AUFC, contact Rose at the Cumby for

further detail info@thecumby.com.au or 8231 3577.

A/B GRADE FIXTURES 2012

Round Date Opposition Venue

1 14/04/12 (Sat) Flinders Park University Oval

2 21/04/12 (Sat) Old Ignatians Hunter Park

3 28/04/12 (Sat) Prince Alfred OC Park 9

4 05/05/12 (Sat) Portland University Oval

5 12/05/12 (Sat) Walkerville Walkerville

6 19/05/12 (Sat) Tea Tree Gully University Oval

7 26/05/12 (Sat) Modbury Modbury Reserve

8 02/06/12 (Sat) Port District University Oval

9 16/06/12 (Sat) Eastern Park Dwight Reserve

10 23/06/12 (Sat) Flinders Park Flinders Park

11 30/06/12 (Sat) Old Ignatians University Oval

12 07/07/12 (Sat) Prince Alfred OC University Oval

13 14/07/12 (Sat) Portland Port Reserve

14 21/07/12 (Sat) Walkerville University Oval

15 28/07/12 (Sat) Tea Tree Gully Petaringa Oval

16 04/08/12 (Sat) Modbury University Oval

17 11/08/12 (Sat) Port District Largs Reserve

18 18/08/12 (Sat) Eastern Park University Oval

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