Stop Bullying Now

“No, you don't know what it's likeWhen nothing feels all rightYou don't know what it's like

To be like me To be hurt To feel lostTo be left out in the dark

To be kicked when you're downTo feel like you've been pushed around

To be on the edge of breaking downAnd no one's there to save you

No, you don't know what it's likeWelcome to my life”

~ Simple Plan

How Do You Define “Bully”

Did You Know?

The word “Bully” meant the total opposite of what it means now.

Five hundred years ago, “Bully” meant friend, family member or sweetheart.

• Power over• Meant to hurt• May happen over and over

Bullying is…

Two Types of Bullying

• DirectDirect

• IndirectIndirect

Direct Bullying

Physical – hitting, kicking, pushing, stealing, hiding or ruining someone’s things, making someone do something they don’t want to do.

Verbal – name calling, teasing, insulting, threats, intimidation.

Indirect BullyingRelationship/Social Bullying – gossiping,

spreading rumors and lies about someone, making someone feel left out or rejected.

Cyber Bullying - harassment using technology (email, Instant Messaging, websites, text messaging, Facebook, Twitter, etc.)

Cyber Bullying

Percentage of all youth reporting bullying online (message boards, Instant Messaging, e-mail, cell phone, chat rooms, blogs, profile sites):

Insults - 66%Threats - 27%Sharing embarrassing pictures - 18%Privacy violation - 25%Password theft – 33%

Journal of School Health, 2008

Bullying in school is against the law

Illinois is 1 of 47 states that have anti-bullying laws for schools

Workplace Bullying

Ongoing mistreatment that may include- Verbal and non-verbal abuse- Threats, humiliation, and intimidation- Interfering with work

Workplace Bullying is against the law in Illinois

The Healthy Workplace Bill guides employers and employees

Illinois was the 15th state to introduce the Healthy Workplace Bill

www.healthyworkplacebill.org/bill.php

Healthy Workplace Bill

National Crime Prevention Council

• Want power• Have a positive attitude toward

violence• Have quick tempers• Have difficulty following rules• Like hurting people and believe they

are rewarded (attention, material goods) from their bullying

People Who Bully - 1

• Lack concern for others• Are concerned with what they want

rather than what others may want• Find it difficult to see things from

someone else’s point of view• Are willing to use others to get what

they want

People Who Bully - 2

National Crime Prevention Council

abillitypath.org

Why People with Disabilities may be the

Target of Bullying

People with disabilities who are bullied often stand out as being different

Signs of Possible Bullying

• Physical Changes• Emotional Changes• Behavioral/Social Changes

National Crime Prevention Council

Physical Changes

• Cuts, bruises, scratches, broken bones

• Headaches, stomachaches• Damaged possessions • “Missing” possessions that need to

be replaced• Missing money

National Crime Prevention Council

Emotional Changes

• Withdrawal and/or shyness• Anxiety• Depression• Aggression

National Crime Prevention Council

Behavioral/Social Changes

• Changes in eating or sleeping habits• No longer wanting to participate in

activities once enjoyed• Beginning to bully siblings and/or

friends or mistreating family pets• Hurting self, attempting or

threatening suicide• Suddenly changing friends

National Crime Prevention Council

Other Changes

• Not wanting to go to school or work• Changing method of going to school

or work (changing walking route, wanting to be driven instead of riding the bus)

• Drop in grades or change in work habits

National Crime Prevention Council

When you notice changes…

• Ask to meet with the person in safe place of the person’s choice

• Gently point out the changes you’ve noticed• Ask the person to share what has happened or

is happening• Listen and be fully present with the person• Ask yourself, “Is this a behavior or is it a

response to trauma?”

How Does Bullying Make People Feel?

Reasons People Don’t Stand Up for the Victim

• The bully is someone others look up to and want to hang out with.

• They agree with the bully because it makes them feel strong.

• They’re entertained by the bullying.• They don’t think speaking up will help.• They’re afraid that if they say something,

the bully will hurt them.• They are afraid of being called a “tattletale”.

Tattling versus Telling

Tattling – Is trying to get someone in – Is trying to get someone in trouble.trouble.

Telling – When you tell about bullying, – When you tell about bullying,

you are helping someone else. you are helping someone else.

Silence = Supporting the person who is bullying

We need YOU to help stop bullying.

It’s Not OK! A video highlighting The Arc Greater Twin Cities’ abuse prevention initiative.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?

feature=player_embedded&v=T1YzH9nPfLE

Put a Stop to Bullying

• Speak up• Encourage others to speak up

“Cut that out!” “Stop that!” “That’s not funny!”

“You’re hurting him/her”

• Make friends with someone who gets picked on

• Tell a trusted person

Are You Bullying Others?

• Does it make you feel better to hurt other people or take their things?

• Do you sometimes use your size and strength to get your way?

• Are you bullying someone because Are you bullying someone because you have been bullied? you have been bullied?

Stop Bullying Others!

• Apologize to people that you have hurt, Apologize to people that you have hurt, and follow it up by being respectful.and follow it up by being respectful.

• If you are having a hard time feeling If you are having a hard time feeling good about yourself, explore ways to good about yourself, explore ways to boost your self-esteem. boost your self-esteem.

• If you feel like you’re having trouble If you feel like you’re having trouble controlling your feelings, especially controlling your feelings, especially anger, talk to someone about getting anger, talk to someone about getting help.help.

You Are NOT Your Label

Labels are for cans, not for people.

Strategies for Agencies/Organizations

• Involve self-advocates, family members, staff, and your local sexual assault center

• Implement a policy against bullying• Implement a comprehensive bullying

prevention program• Provide training for everyone• Investigate bullying incidents and work

with people involved to prevent future incidents

National Crime Prevention Council

7 Things To Do When Someone Tells You of

Bullying1. Keep things private2. Recognize how hurtful bullying is3. Share if you have been bullied4. Help the person figure out what he/she can

do about the bullying5. Let the person know that he/she can come

to you in the future6. Help the person advocate7. Check in

Adapted from“the are word”, Dave

Hingsburger

What Not To Do When Someone Tells You of

Bullying

Don’t say, “Just ignore it”.

Mark Dombeck, Ph.D., 2007

Undoing the Damage • Help the person feel good about himself/herself• Help the person to feel safe within his/her world• Help the person to find his/her gifts and talents• Help the person gain control over moods and

feelings• Support the person in accomplishing goals• Start or join a support group• Get help from a professional

The Power of Power

There are three kinds of power in the world:

– POWER OVER “I’m in charge - you’re not.”

– POWER WITH“Let’s work together as equals.”

– POWER WITHIN “I am a strong person inside!”

We’re a Lot Stronger When We Work and Learn Together!

October is Bullying Awareness Month

Special Thanks To… - 1

• CTF Tigers

• Sertoma United

• Walk a Mile in Their Shoes: Bullying and the Child with Special Needs, A Report and Guide from AbilityPath.org

• PACER’s National Bullying Prevention Center

• Dave Hingsberger

Special Thanks To… - 2

• Det. Andrew Palese, Delaware State Police, School Resource Officer

• DeKalb County School System

• National Crime Prevention Council

The Alliance © 2012

To learn more about The Alliance, please visit www.selfadvocacyalliance.org.