Schneider and the American Family

The Symbols of American Kinship

Unconscious, underlying metaphors for how we think about the worldWhat is a relative?What is a family?How does a person become a

relative?

Kinds of American Relatives Basic terms

Father (Step-, -In-law, Grand, Great grand)

Mother (Step-, -In-law, Grand, Great grand)

Sister (Step-, -In-law, Half-)

Brother (Step-, -In-law, Half-)

Son (Step-, -In-law, Grand-, Great grand-)

Daughter (Step-, -In-law, Grand-, Great grand-)

Uncle (Great-)

Aunt (Great-)

Nephew

Niece

Cousin (First-, Second-, Once removed, etc.)

Husband (Ex-)

Wife (Ex-)

Derivative term modifiers

Step

In-law

Great

Grand

First

Second

Once

Twice

Removed

Half-

Ex-

Foster

Categories of American RelativesBy Blood

“Biogenic”

The essence/biological material of the body is shared by relatives

Genes are shared by relatives

Kinship as possession of a common substance

Mother as genetrix

Father as genitor

Mother and father contribute equally to the child’s substance

Biogenic means “natural” rather than cultural

“Real” “Blood” “True” “By Birth”

Enduring and unbreakable ties

Involuntary

By Code of Conduct By custom, cultural rule or

law

Marriage as a culturally determined phenomenon

Fictive kin

Not natural, but man-made relationships

Come about by choice and free will

Blood Vs Marriage (con’t) In nature (no cultural code

of conduct Natural child (son or daughter)

Illegitimate child (son or daughter)

Natural mother

Natural Father

In law (cultural code, no nature) Husband

Wife

In-laws (father, mother, sister, brother, etc.)

Step- (mother, father, sister, brother)

Foster (son, daughter

By Blood within cultural conventions Father

Mother

Brother

Sister

Son

Daughter

Uncle, aunt

Niece, nephew

Grandparents

Great grand parents

Grandchildren, Great grandchildren

Cousin, first cousin, etc.

The Family as Set of Relatives Conjugal Family or

Family of ProcreationNuclear Family in the U.S.

Derived from the joining of two non-relatives by cultural convention through marriage.

Sexual intercourse is what allows these two “naturally unrelated” individuals to contribute to the creation of a new person who is related by possession of essential bodily materials to both parents.

Without sexual intercourse, new blood relatives cannot be produced.

Marriage is a cultural convention that is designed to make non-relatives become relatives to one another

The “Natural” Nuclear Family in American Society

Mother

Father

Son

Daughter

Living together in a single unit/household

Sexual Intercourse as Symbol Marriage requires sexual intercourse as one of the

duties of the husband and wife.

(Is a marriage without sex a real marriage?)

Marriage and Sexual Intercourse both unite “natural” opposites in many other ways “Natural act (occurs throughout nature) that happens in

culturally appropriate ways (where, when and with whom) as an act of free will.

Sex: Fitting genitalia together

Gender: Maleness united with femaleness

Creating blood ties out of code of conduct ties

Dividing activities and behaviors into distinctive opposing and complementary roles (code of conduct roles)

Combines physical (intercourse) with spiritual (love)

Produces cognatic/non-sexual love relationships out of conjugal/sexual love relationships.

Marriage and Sexual IntercourseUniting Opposite Genders How do we tell male from

female?

Facial hair

Breasts

Temperament

Physical strength

Mechanical aptitude

Nurturing qualities

Aggression

Passivity

Genitalia

We are uncomfortable with same sex marriage precisely because we see the uniting of opposites through intercourse as an inherent part of “family.”

American Marriage:Unification of Sexual Intercourse and Love

Intercourse alone is not sufficient to form a family.

Love without sex is not sufficient to form a family.

Marriage presupposes that both are present.

Definitions of Love

Schneider

Love is “enduring, diffuse solidarity”

Enduring = long lasting

Diffuse = pertains to a wide variety of things

Solidarity = loyalty and group affiliation - support network

Personal

Spiritual

Is a natural part of family

An intense sexual or romantic attachment to another person.

What is attachment? Strong feelings of loyalty, affection toward someone or something. A bond with someone or something.

What does attach mean? To fasten or bind something to something else.

An intense feeling of deep affection

What is affection? A feeling of liking or caring for someone or something.

Schneider’s Types of Love

Conjugal love (sexual love)Cognatic love (non-sexual love)

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Styles of love (Hendrick & Hendrick)

Logical love (pragma) “I consider a lover’s potential in life before committing myself.”

Possessive, excited love (mania) “When my lover ignores me, I get sick all over.”

Selfless love (agape) “My lover’s needs and wishes are more important than my own.”

Romantic love (eros) “My lover and I were attracted to each other immediately.”

Game-playing love (ludus) “I get over love affairs pretty easily.”

Friendship (storge, philia) “The best love grows out of an enduring friendship.”

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Sternberg’s Triangular Theory of Love

Three main components of loving relationships Intimacy

Feelings of closeness, bondedness, and connectedness

Desire to share one’s innermost thoughts with the other

Desire to give and receive emotional support Passion

Intense romantic and/or sexual desire for another person, which is accompanied by physiological arousal

Commitment Commitment to maintain the relationship despite

potential hardships

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Sternberg’s Types of LoveNonlove

All components of love are absent.Liking

Intimacy is present.Passion and commitment are absent.

Infatuation“Love at first sight”Passion is present.Intimacy and commitment are

absent.

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I+P+CConsummate

LovePassion Commitment

Intimacy

Empty Love

Liking

Infatuation

I+CCompanionate Love

I+PRomantic Love

P+CFatuous Love

Sternberg’s Triangular Model of Love

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Empty loveCommitment is present.Passion and intimacy are absent.

Romantic lovePassion and intimacy are present.Commitment is absent.

Companionate loveIntimacy and commitment are

present.Passion is absent.

Sternberg’s Types of Love, con’t

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Fatuous lovePassion and commitment are present.Intimacy is absent.

Consummate loveFull or complete measure of loveCombination of passion, intimacy, and

commitmentAn ideal type of love Harder to maintain than to achieve

Sternberg’s Types of Love, con’t

Family as a Group of Persons Abstract notion of a person Vs. the concrete

manifestion of a person Personal attributes as criteria for “relativeness” Person as a unit of American Culture

People have attributes

Gender

Age

Class (status and/or wealth, ie. The “famous relative”)

Occupation

Religiosity

Political attitudes

Kin term that evokes a particular type of kinship role/behavior set.

Choosing Our Relatives

Who MAY be included, but in the U.S. not who MUST be included.

A person MAY be included as a relative, but that does not mean that he/she will have a kin term assigned to him/her

Attributes Distance

Physical proximity

Social proximity

Genealogical proximity

Everyday Use of Kin Terms

Kin terms as signals for particular kinds of relationship and role expectations. Formal Vs. Informal/Intimate

Symmetrical (same status) Vs. Asymmetrical (different statuses)

Authority/Respect

Generation

The Resolution of Oppositions

Kinship acts to resolve oppositions:

Male Vs. Female

Humans Vs. Nature

Human Vs. animal distinguished by the use of reason

Nature Vs. Culture

Law uses reason to take the best of nature and encode it to maintain the good.

Proper kinds of sexual union

Proper kinds of parent-child relationships

American Kinship & American Values Relatives In nature (no

cultural code of conduct) Natural child, Illegitimate child,

Natural mother, Natural Father, Natural Grandparent, Etc.

Relatives In law (cultural code, no nature) Husband, Wife, In-laws (father,

mother, sister, brother, etc.), Step- (mother, father, sister, brother), Foster (son, daughter

Relatives By Blood within cultural conventions Father, Mother, Brother, Sister,

Son, Daughter, Uncle, Aunt, Niece, Nephew, Grandparents, Etc.

Nature Only

Culture Only

Nature Tempered by Human Reason Extracts the Best of Nature in the Form of Human Culture

Conclusion