s3-eu-west-1. Web viewBusiness like chess is a strategic skill, played out in the “real world”, also like chess, in business and in life some rules can be bent to give you an advantage

BEE ~ Business Education for Entrepreneurs

NLP Business Introduction: Get Ahead of the Game!

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Part 1: Get Ahead of the Game…What to expect ahead?

Chess a board game of strategic skill, played on a chequered board on which each playing piece is moved according to precise rules. The object is to put the opponent's king under a direct attack from which victory is inevitable.

Business like chess is a strategic skill, played out in the “real world”, also like chess, in business and in life some rules can be bent to give you an advantage setting yourself up for inevitable victory.

We have prepared this workbook as an overview of the tools and techniques (Chess Pieces) that will get you ahead of the game and into a winning position through Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP).

This introduction will allow you to experience the heart of NLP – In essence, that by studying, analysing and modelling experts in any particular field, you are able to copy the critical elements and achieve the same results.NLP is a proven development tool that can be applied in all areas of life from personal, to family, to business and any area you so choose. The business world has come to strongly embrace NLP processes because the simple fact is that it increases results. When the tools and techniques that you are about to learn are put into action, it can enable individuals and teams to achieve their peak performance in areas as diverse as management, sales, communication, new product development and coaching. In addition, we now see NLP techniques being used in other contexts such as education, health and sport for increasing performance.

The exercises within this guide will take you through a journey of self-discovery in your pursuit of victory.

The exercises within this guide will help you access your inner resources and help you strategically position yourself to take control.

People have all the resources they need to succeed (there are no unresourceful people, only unresourceful states they get into)

It is my belief our world is world of infinite possibilities, opportunities just waiting for us to reach out and grab them. Whilst in your pursuit, NLP will help you reach out and grab “success on your own terms, achieve it by your own rules, and build a life you are proud to live!” ~ Anne Sweeney President of Disney/ABC Television Group

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We have prepared this workbook to include reading material, exercises, and short video clips. These are to help with effective training on our behalf and to help demonstrate just how effective NLP can be for you. When working your way through the guide you will be prompted when you come across any of reading material, exercises, audio and short video clips.

What to expect in Part 1: Meet our Worker BEE’z Relevance of NLP in Business Introducing NLP What is NLP? The NLP Communication Model 12 Presuppositions of NLP

Worker BEE’zJohn Flynn

NLP

Practitioner/Speaker/Coach

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Relevance of NLP in BusinessOne way of thinking about NLP is that it is an instruction manual for your mind; it is about empowering you with tools that teach you how to think, rather than what to think. What that means is that it can help you be more of who you want to be in all areas of your life. A fundamental change of mind set to appreciate at this stage is that there is no such thing as a “work life balance”, there is just life; this one precious life that you are leading right now. NLP can help you in any area of your life, be that career, family, relationships, personal growth, health & fitness or even spirituality. NLP puts you back in charge; it provides sensible ways of thinking about your experience and it provides change techniques that allow you to remove the blockages that prevent you from being, doing and having what you want in your life. With NLP you can take the next step on the career ladder or you can change career altogether, you can lose weight, you can have the sort of relationship that you want, you can enhance the harmony in your family, you can let go of past patterns and habits, creating the future you want and discovering more about who you are in the process. So if NLP is so great why isn’t everyone using it? The simple answer is that everybody should be using it! Sometimes people want to change and don’t know how, and sometimes people don’t make change the priority, right now. Sometimes people feel that living in the known “not bad” is better than the unknown “what could be”. Simply getting this far you are saying to yourself that now is the time for you to do what you want to do. So make that commitment to yourself now. This NLP introductory programme is here to support you to be the best version of you; others have taken these steps before you; we know you can do it too.

I am often asked “Is NLP still relevant?” and my answer is a resounding, “Yes”! We need to learn how to use new technology in ways that are creative and different. If you do what you always did, you get what you always got. And it is the combination of “thinking about thinking” and technology that will set the new breed of leaders and entrepreneurs apart from the rest.

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There is nothing else in the world of the human development and learning as powerful as NLP. Emotional intelligence, spiritual intelligence, visualization, and various other new concepts in the human resource development are mere derivatives of the NLP process.“The only route to understanding would have to come through creating a practical working model in your mind that could be used to rise above the detail… from this high level view of the world, they create simple, rule of thumb formulae that can be used as the basis for decision making.” ~ Peter Small - The Entrepreneurial Web

There is so much to learn in both technology and personal development that it is impossible for anyone to learn everything. It is our ability to manage our thinking, our conflicts, and our experience that will ultimately make the difference between those of us who will lead the way into an increasingly new, exciting, creative, and cooperative future, and those who will rapidly fall by the wayside as they attempt to follow. This is what we can learn with NLP!

Introducing NLP At the heart of NLP is the 'modelling' of human excellence - NLP was founded in the early 1970s, with the collaboration of Richard Bandler and John Grinder at the University of California. Bandler, was a student of mathematics with a particular interest in computer science. Bandler got involved in transcribing some audio and video seminar tapes of Fritz Perls, the father of Gestalt Therapy, and Virginia Satir, the founder of Family Therapy. He found that by copying certain aspects of their behaviour and language he could achieve similar results, and so he started running a Gestalt Therapy group on the campus at the University. John Grinder, an associate professor of Linguistics at the University, was curious about Bandler's abilities, and it’s claimed that Grinder said to Bandler: 'If you teach me how to do what you do, I'll tell you what you do.' So, it wasn’t long before Grinder was achieving the same therapeutic results as Bandler and Perls, simply by modelling what Bandler did and said. Grinder was able to determine what was essential and what was irrelevant by going through a process systematically leaving various elements out. With their discovery, together Bandler and Grinder wrote their first book on NLP called “The Structure of Magic”, published in 1975. This was the

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introduction of the first NLP model, along with the Meta Model which are the language patterns modelled from the work of Satir. This is the essence of NLP, that by studying and analysing and modelling experts in their field, you are able to copy the critical elements and achieve the same results. So if you want to be an expert golfer, you first need to find a model of excellence, i.e. someone worth modelling. Then observe what they do and say, and then ask specific questions about what is going on in their mind. This allows you to discover and create a template for success that anyone can use. The critical findings in Bandler and Grinders work was that our subjective experience of the world has a structure, and that how we think about something affects how we experience it. This is illustrated by the work of Alfred Korzybski who wrote the book “Science and Sanity” in the 1930’s. In understanding NLP, John Grinder described NLP in the following terms. He said that, “NLP is an attitude and a methodology that leaves behind a trail of techniques.”

Attitude is important and adopting what kind of attitude? One of curiosity, as this will propel you to discover HOW people do what they do. What is going on inside their mind? Questioning, challenging and searching for the structure rather than being interested purely in the content.

When it comes to the techniques, NLP provides us with the most powerful patterns ever devised for facilitating change in human beings. Some of the techniques are well known, like the Fast Phobia Model.

Richard Bandler and John Grinder went on to model the work of Dr Milton H. Erickson, the world's foremost medical hypnotherapist. The result was a different set of language patterns which they called the Milton Model. This led to the publication of their second book, “Patterns of the Hypnotic Techniques of Milton H. Erickson MD.”

The Bandler and Grinder partnership came to an end in the late 1970s, and they went their separate ways although both remain active in the field of NLP today. NLP continues to evolve, with new models and techniques being added every year by a growing number of trainers and developers.

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What is NLP?Dr. Richard Bandler’s definition of Neuro-Linguistic Programming that appears in the Oxford English Dictionary, says:

Neuro-Linguistic Programming: "A model of interpersonal communication concerned with the relationship between

successful patterns of behaviour and the subjective experiences (esp. patterns of thought) underlying them" and "a system of

alternative therapy based on this which seeks to educate people in self-awareness and effective communication, and to change

their patterns of mental and emotional behaviour." So what does that actually mean?"NLP is the study of subjective experience"

Neuro The nervous system - the mind and the sensory organs with which we receive and filter information through our five senses.

Linguistic The way we communicate and interpret experience through language, including body language, images, sounds, feelings, tastes and smells as well as words.

Programming The way we construct personal 'programs' (similar in some ways to computer programs) of thought, communication and behaviour. Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) is the study of how we think and communicate, with ourselves and with others, and of how we can use this to get the results we want. The heart of NLP is modelling successful behaviour - the techniques which are commonly thought of as making up NLP are just the results of that modelling.

NLP has been defined as: - The ability to master your own states by running your own brain ~

Richard Bandler

- The study of excellence and how to reproduce it ~ John Grinder

- An attitude (wanton curiosity) and methodology (modelling) that leaves behind a trail of techniques ~ Richard Bandler

- The process of creating models of human excellence in which usefulness, not truthfulness (of the model), is the most important criterion for success ~ NLP Comprehensive

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- How to use the language of the mind to consistently achieve our specific and desired outcomes ~ Dr Tad James

The NLP Communication Model

'First access' is the term John Grinder uses for our sense impressions of the world (which have already been through our perceptual filters by the time we become aware of them) but before they have been categorised and judged by our conscious mind's description in language. Both the neurological filters and our linguistic filters impose deletions, distortions and generalisations. That means that your perception of your reality is based on the beliefs that you hold consciously and also unconsciously. You see that you believe to be true, that is, you see what you expect to see because of how you interpret the information from your senses based on your values, attitudes and personality etc.

Your internal filters introduce: Deletions (we pay attention to what we are interested in) Distortions (we look for patterns and connections) Generalisations (we look for commonality and predictability)

Our conscious awareness has a limited number of 'chunks of attention' (around 7, according to the psychologist George Miller: The Magical Number Seven), in practice probably more like 3 or 4. So in order to make sense of the huge amount of information that our senses take in each moment from the world around us, we unconsciously filter it. We have to do this filtering. If we didn't, our brains would be overloaded and the world would appear as a booming, buzzing disturbance of smells, feelings and colours, just as it must appear to a new-born baby.

These are some of the filtering processes that our brain uses to protect us:

Deletion. Attention is a limited resource. We just don't notice certain things, especially if we are not interested in them. So in

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http://www.musanim.com/miller1956/

http://www.musanim.com/miller1956/


every situation, there is more going on than you realise. Most of the information we delete may be irrelevant, but sometimes we overlook things that would help us if we noticed them. Distortion. In our attempt to make sense of the world, we will attribute meanings to events - based on our existing map. Psychologists have identified various 'cognitive biases' that distort our view of the world: Confirmation Bias - we pay more attention to evidence that

supports our beliefs, and downplay or ignore evidence that doesn't.

The Bandwagon Effect - we are more likely to do or believe something when we see many other people doing or believing it.

Illusion of Control - we believe we can control or influence outcomes, even when we can't.

The Halo Effect - if we like one quality or trait of a person or thing, we tend to view their other qualities or traits more favourably.

Generalisation. Generalisations are the basis of learning. What we expect to happen is influenced by our perceptions of previous events. For example, gamblers and stock market investors tend to see a 'winning streak' after three good results, even though 'streaks' are a natural feature of any random sequence (see 'The Rule of Three').

Usually, these 'cognitive shortcuts' work in our favour. Thinking is time consuming, and expensive in energy terms. If we had to think every single thing we did through from first principles, we would be unable to act at all.

But sometimes, these shortcuts work against us - we miss relevant information, jump to conclusions, or view people through a lens of prejudice.

12 Presuppositions of NLP

Presuppositions are statements that we need to accept as true in order to make sense of something. You don't have to believe them, but you will only get good results with NLP when you act "as if" they are true.

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http://digest.bps.org.uk/2007/10/rule-of-three.html

http://digest.bps.org.uk/2007/10/rule-of-three.html


Presuppositions are useful anytime you are doing NLP and are useful for achieving results. They are a great framework that underpins many of the NLP patterns, models, change techniques and perspectives. About people

The map is not the territory This presupposition at the core of NLP and what it refers to is

that the experience we have of the world is not the world itself. The 'map' is your mind, or own perception, and the 'territory' is reality, the physical world that exists independently of your experience of it. As we saw in the previous section, many people believe their internal map to be a true representation of reality, when in fact it's merely one possible interpretation that is available

All behaviour is the best choice currently available This presupposition says that the behaviour that the person

choice at that moment, regardless of what it was, was the best choice available to them at the time when considering their personal history, beliefs, knowledge, resources and their frame of reference. You may have a different perspective on the situation to achieve better results, however the simple fact is that people (and that includes you) are doing the best they can at the time and could probably do better if only they were aware of other options available to them. By understanding how we operate and getting in touch with our thinking processes allows us to discover new ways of doing things to create a compelling future.

People have all the resources they need to succeed (there are no unresourceful people, only unresourceful states they get into) This assumption opens up possibilities. Resources mean the

internal responses and external behaviours needed to get a desired response or outcome. Often people have resources that they haven't considered or are available in other contexts. You may know someone who demonstrates great leadership skills but can’t manage their kids.

I am in charge of my mind, and therefore my results You are in charge of your mind and therefore you results. You

think your thoughts, no one puts them there other than you. The only reliable information about a person is their behaviour Behaviour is also geared towards adaption, so you can evaluate

the behaviour in terms of context and ecology. Accept the person and change the behaviour to achieve the desired results

Mind and body are one system The mind and body affect each other. This was noticed by

Deepak Chopra in the book “Quantum Healing”. You will

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discover during this course how our eye patterns reveal our internal sensory processing. Other behavioural cues are speech, tempo and breathing rate. Behavioural cues in the body are a reflection of how our mind is functioning. So in accessing a particular behavioural cue can affect functioning of our mind. For example slumping in your chair can make you feel tired.

About communication and making changes Respect for the other person’s model of the world We tend to think other people are like us, but given that ‘the

map is not the territory’, it follows that each of us must have our own unique internal model of the world or reality, which is why there is so much variation in the ways individuals behave and think. Think about for a moment about some of the people you know. You will be able to recognise how their approach may differ from yours. One person may think his boss has ‘high standards’ while another thinks of him as being ‘fussy about detail’. How we react in any given situation is based on our subjective perceptions. Four people may watch the same event, read the same book, or eat the same meal, yet each have a very different experience. We only ever know our own version of reality. We naturally think our version is right, and often when people argue it’s because their maps are different, when everyone’s map is equally valid.

The “meaning” of communication is the response you get This is one of the most important presuppositions in NLP. We

think that if someone misunderstands us there is something wrong with him or her. The great value of this presupposition is that whatever is going on we are obliged to take responsibility for our communications, which means we can no longer blame others for not listening or for responding in the 'wrong' way. That's one of the reasons why sensory acuity is so important. You need to be aware of the response to know if your communication has been successful, or whether you need to adapt your approach.

You cannot not communicate It is fairly obvious that when you speak you are communicating,

but in fact everything you do influences the people around you. In the 1970’s at the University of Pennsylvania discovered that 38% of all communication is tone of voice, and 55% is physiology. That means that we unconsciously pick up subtle nuances of position, gesture and expression in our interactions with others. And when we do speak, other people are as aware of rhythm, tone and inflection as they are the words said. Even silence can be interpreted as having meaning. If you were to look at

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someone who was sitting quietly on their own, in just a few seconds you would have distinct impressions about them. Our mind and body are part of the same system, so the thoughts we have affect our physiology, and is shows up in our nonverbal interactions. So because you cannot not communicate, it's essential that you communicate as accurately and clearly as possible, rather than leaving it to chance. Imagine being in a team meeting where an argument develops between two members of the team. Whatever you say or do may be taken as a signal that you have taken sides or that you have taken a neutral standpoint. If you want to remain neutral you need to make sure the verbal and non-verbal ways you communicate are as aligned as possible, so that you appear as congruent.

There is no failure, only feedback This presupposition is very liberating because once you embrace

it you can try all of the things you were once afraid of doing. The more 'failures' you have, the more you learn. So one strategy for learning might be to 'fail' more often! Eliminating what doesn't work can be an effective way of finding out what does. This is the approach that Thomas Edison used to find the right material to use in a light bulb. Rather than regarding each attempt that didn't work out as failure, he considered it a success in that it narrowed the number of ways that were left to try.

The more complex the situation you have to cope with, the more behavioural flexibility you need (“Law of Requisite Variety”) This presupposition says that 'the person with the greatest

flexibility has the best chance of achieving what they want'. Flexibility gives you more options. The solution you had to one problem may have worked well in that specific culture, environment or context but that won’t necessarily be effective in another. Situations change, you can't just repeat what you did before. The more complex the system, the more flexibility is required

Any changes should increase choice and wholeness, and be evaluated in terms of ecology We believe that when creating a change with someone it’s

important to study the consequences. That is to take into account how that change will affect the person, their family, their community and also the planet. The change should create

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Exercise: What behaviours can I make a change in today? Review 6 of beliefs above and ask yourself ‘How can I now apply these in 3 or more situations in my business today?1.2.3.4.


more options and choices for the person and increase wholeness as opposed to fragmenting and reducing their options.

Part 2: Take Advantage of Your Pieces You now have an understanding of what NLP is and of its origins. We are going to go over some NLP tools to help you get more focus in your business. By now you have learned that NLP is built on foundations of “The study of excellence and how to reproduce it” completing and fully committing to the exercises and content in this section will provide you with all you need to create, and maintain long term goals and structure some shorter term outcomes to get ahead of the game. NLP training is not limited to the techniques within this workbook, there are a huge variety of areas that can support these processes too.

What to expect in Part 2: Rapport & Sensory Acuity Influencing with Integrity Beliefs & Values Goal-Setting Well-Formed Outcomes Meetings Negotiation Selling with NLP

Sensory Acuity and Rapport

Sensory Acuity - (V.I.B.E.S.)

Sensory Acuity is important because it allows you to tune into what is going on for the other person. Here are some things to pay attention to

Voice tempo volume pitch tone modulation timbre or quality of the voice type of words used

Inclination (of the spine; general posture and gesture) slumped or straight leaning forwards, upright or back symmetrical/asymmetrical to left or right range and speed of gestures micro-muscle movements

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Exercise: What behaviours can I make a change in today? Review 6 of beliefs above and ask yourself ‘How can I now apply these in 3 or more situations in my business today?1.2.3.4.


Breathing rate depth location in body

Eyes

1. Movements 2. Pupil dilation 3. Redness 4. Watering 5. Direction

Skin 1. Colour 2. Muscle tone 3. Size of areas (e.g. lips) 4. shiny/dull 5. goose-pimples

Sensory Acuity Exercise

An exercise to assist you to develop your skills of sensory acuity 1. Gather factual information

- Spend 5 minutes interviewing a partner, to elicit factual information about them.

2. Calibrate Yes and No Ask three questions you know will be answered yes. For

example is your partner Joe Bloggs, a married man living in Manchester with his wife, Michelle, three children, Tom, Dick and Harry, and one dog, a poodle, you might ask:

Is your name Joe Bloggs? Do you live in Manchester? Are you married?

Then ask three questions that you know will be answered no such as: Is your name Bob Walker? Is your wife named Maureen? Do you have 5 Alsatians?

Watch the changes in the facial expression, body posture, and breathing as your partner finds the answer. Notice and remember unconscious visible response to yes questions and compare them to those for the no answers. Be aware of the differences in breathing, skin colour, lower lip, and minute muscle movements. Continue to alternate yes and no questions until you feel confident you know the difference in that persons responses.

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3. Mind Read Test When you are sure you can tell the difference, identify some

closed questions to which you do not know the answers. For Example:

Did you study at University? Did you have long hair when you were twenty? Did you play in a band? Have you been to France? Did you once own a motorcycle?

Ask your partner the questions- their job is to silently process the answer to each question. Guess the answers using your new-found extra sensory perception. Then check them out.

RapportRapport - used in English to imply harmony, a feeling of shared understanding, and of being at one - is the most important process in any interaction. Without rapport, two people will not trust each other and probably will not even hear each other correctly. We have all created rapport many times - when we’re with an old friend, or when we meet someone and it feels like we’ve known them all our lives. People tend to think it just happens, but we can establish rapport deliberately. Rapport is important because it elicits a state of responsiveness in the other person. When you have rapport you can communicate anything and it will be accepted uncritically by the other person.

- Rapport is a process, not a thing. Rapport is something we do with another person.

- There are things we can do to establish rapport. - Rapport is responsiveness - you don’t have to ‘like’ the other

person. - The non-verbal aspects of communication known as paralanguage

(voice tone, body language) convey information about our relationship with the listener. This forms the context in which the content of the words is understood. (e.g. "That was really good!" conveys the opposite meaning if the voice tone is sarcastic and the body language dismissive.

- Psychologists have discovered three elements to rapport*: Mutual attention, where each person is tuning in to the other Shared positive feeling - mostly conveyed by non-verbal

messages Synchrony - people unconsciously respond to each other’s’

movements and gestures

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- If you don’t have rapport, you won’t get your outcome. In any conversation, neither of you will get anywhere until you have established rapport.

How do you know when you have rapport?

1. You’ll feel it. Or get a sense of being at one with the other person. Conversely, if you lose rapport, or put a foot wrong, you’ll feel uncomfortable. We’ve all had that experience. If that happens you can just do some more matching and get back into rapport again.

2. Pacing and leading. ‘Pacing’ is the word from NLP jargon meaning matching someone, falling into step with them, entering into their model of the world. You can pace someone’s ideas, beliefs and experiences as well as their words and behaviour (you don’t have to share those ideas, you just have to fall into step with them for a while). Human beings have a natural tendency to fall into step with each other. So after you have matched someone for a while, you can do something slightly different - slow your breathing down, uncross your legs, or scratch your nose - and if you have rapport, the other person will follow you. If they don’t, do some more matching.

3. Skin colour changes. When people feel relaxed, capillaries in the skin dilate so the skin appears darker (in dark-skinned people) or pinker (in light-skinned people). 4. The other person may tell you. They may say something like “I feel like I have known you for ages” or “I’ve never told anyone this before, but...|

Influencing with Integrity

Is pacing and leading manipulative?

In the long term, manipulative behaviour never works. Usually the other person will spot what the manipulator is trying to do because they seem ‘false’ or not fully human in their responses. Ultimately it depends on your intention. If you respect the other person and dovetail your desired outcome with theirs, you will get a win-win situation and everyone is satisfied. If not, neither party will achieve their outcome. Rapport works both ways - as you clear the channels of communication between you and the other person, you are opening yourself up to be influenced by them as well. So it’s important that you maintain yourself in a good state.

Practising Rapport

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There are a number of ways you can practise and sharpen your rapport skills. If you actually do these exercises you will soon become better than most NLP master practitioners.

Notice examples of people in rapport around you - on the train, in a bar, at work, anywhere that people gather.

Practise non-verbal rapport with strangers. You can unobtrusively match someone’s posture or breathing (just as you may have done unconsciously many times in the past). Don’t be surprised if they strike up a conversation with you.

Choose a different aspect of rapport to practise every day, or even for a week. One week you could focus on voice tone; when you’ve mastered that you could move on to breathing, then representational systems, and so on.

Watch TV. Notice the type of words that people on the TV are using. Listen to the representational systems rather than the content. Does the character or presenter use mainly visual words, or mainly feeling, or what? Practise until you can spot the dominant representational system and get the content of what they are saying at the same time.

When that gets too easy, rephrase what they are saying in a different representational system. Never again will there be "nothing on telly tonight".

What else could you match to achieve rapport?

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Beliefs & Values - What’s Important to You All of us have values and beliefs that influence the way we think and act. If you don't believe you are good at running meetings it's likely that this belief will affect your capability and be evident to others in the way you behave. Conversely, if you develop your skills and build your confidence in that area you may be surprised to find your belief about your ability has changed. Sometimes we have 'limiting' beliefs about ourselves.

Beliefs Beliefs are powerful things. Here’s an example of how they influence what people do and how they behave – In 1954 the world witnessed a turning point in athletics. Up until this point in time “everybody” believed it was impossible for anyone to run a mile in under four minutes. No one had ever achieved it. However, Roger Bannister, a 25-year-old medical student from Harrow, believed it was possible - and on that date he proved it, crossing the finishing line in a time of 3:59:4. What was interesting was that within days of this event, his great rival John Landy, whose best time thus far had been 1.5 seconds outside the four-minute barrier, ran even faster than Bannister, recording a time of

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Exercise - Belief Assessment Worksheet

This tool allows you to assess what are your beliefs about your desired goal.

My goal is achievable 1 2 3 4 5

I deserve to achieve my goal 1 2 3 4 5

My goal is appropriate and worthwhile 1 2 3 4 5

My goal is desirable


3:57:9. And over the next three years, 16 runners were to log sub-four minute miles.

Values The importance of values cannot be overstated. Just imagine what it would be like if nothing mattered to you. Why would you want to get in the morning and do anything? What would be the point? People who have a strong sense of what is important to them usually have a real sense of purpose that acts like a propulsion system, which moves them towards it.

What are values? 1. Values are abstract concepts 2. Values are what is important to us - they motivate us 3. They are also criteria for determining whether our actions are “right” or “wrong” 4. They determine how we spend our time5. They may be different in different contexts 6. They are related to beliefs and each other 7. They are in a hierarchy - some are more important than others.

1. Discovering Values for a given context - “What’s important about <this value>?” - Keep going until you get an abstract value… - “What’s important about <that>?” - “What else is important?” and when you run out of answers ask… - “What else is important?” to get the values you are less consciously aware of (often among the most important)

2. Prioritising Values “If you could only have one of these values, which one would you

have?” “And if you could have one more, which one would you have?” Rewrite the list of values in the order of importance - you may

find that some of the values elicited in Step 1 are the same and have merged.

3. Towards/Away From Motivation “Why is <this value> important to you?”

The answer may come in terms of what you want (“because I love it”) or in terms of what you don’t want (“because if I don’t have it, it will be terrible”). Watch out for ‘concealed away froms” which come out as comparisons (“it’s better to have money” – better than what?) or as “should’s”, “ought to’s”, “musts” etc.

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Exercise - Belief Assessment Worksheet

This tool allows you to assess what are your beliefs about your desired goal.

My goal is achievable 1 2 3 4 5

I deserve to achieve my goal 1 2 3 4 5

My goal is appropriate and worthwhile 1 2 3 4 5

My goal is desirable


4. Check For Clashes

For each value, check that it 'goes with' each other value. They don't have to actively support each other, as long as they can coexist.

Goal-Setting – Ask yourself 3 magic questions –1. What’s my Outcome? What do I specifically want?

- Sensory specific language is key here, know what you want, when you want it, where it is and all the details.Setting an Outcome-based Goal, answering it in sensory specific detailed language is like setting off a locator beacon within our brain. When you seek answers definitely, your brain sends out a tracking signal, your answers are pulled through your neurological GPS system into your awareness. When we know what we want, we can then dovetail desires to make ‘ecological’ outcomes – good for and those you care about!

2. Why I want it? What will drive me forward? - I say drive not walk, because we get tired when we walk.

With a powerful “why” driving us toward our goal, we can be relentless in our pursuit, because when your why is big enough, you will find a way. Do you agree?My mentor use to say, words are like a lamp for your feet to show you the way.I say, words are like fuel for your vehicle, driving you where you want to go.What words really motivate you? Trigger words can change your physiology, level of energy and are the “fuel” behind your action vehicle.

3. What’s my How?- How many times have you heard, I tried everything and

nothing works? Oh really have you put a gun to your head, no, then you haven’t tried everything. There is multiple ways to do anything, yes or no?Brainstorm a bunch of ideas. What are all the possibilities? And write them down.

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OutcomesTo be successful in anything you need to have an outcome in mind. There’s the old saying you might have heard, “If you don’t know where you are going, you’ll end up somewhere else” or “Without goals, and plans to reach your outcomes, you are like a ship without a destination”

When you set an outcome you become fully aware of where you are in the present and what you may need know to get the end result in the future. If you focus your attention towards what you want to achieve, your attention will be attracted to the opportunities and possibilities available to map out your way to the desired outcome.

By taking an Outcome Orientation mind-set, you set yourself up for success by creating a direction and purpose for your life. By achieving your outcomes and continually reviewing and setting new long or short term outcomes you can create a pattern of success in all areas of your life.

When setting an outcome you need to consider the consequences if you achieve it. Ecology is the study of consequences, ask yourself how or who this change will impact and consider whether your outcome is still one you wish to achieve. An ecology check on any outcome assists us to recognise the impact of the change in all systems of which you are part of. Definition of ‘Outcome’ “A specific, sensory-based, desired result!”

When setting yourself a new outcome be clear and concise about what you want, we can use the “5 Principles to Achieve Success” to keep us on track:

1. Know what you want 2. Do something about it3. Notice what happens (have Sensory Acuity)4. Be flexible

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5. Work from a psychology and physiology of excellence(In our extended trainings, we delve into greater detail of 5 Principles to Achieve Success and Sensory Acuity)

Just like the ship without a destination, if you don’t know where you are going, how will you know when you get there? – Let me show you…

Well-Formed Outcomes – “SYDER” ModelSYDER is a best practice outline for creating compelling outcomes. Outcomes should be Stated Positively, You Own It, and Defined in Sensory Specific Terms, Ecology and Resources/Route The acronym is intended to help you clarify exactly what will be required for achieving success and to be able to share that clarification with others it may involve.

S - Stated positively Always set goals in the positive sense. That is, what do you

want, rather than what you don't want

Y - You own it "What can you do to bring this about by your own actions?"

"What can you do to influence the outcome?" "What do you need to do to achieve this goal?"

D – Defined in sensory specific terms a) "What date do you intend to have this outcome by?" b) "Put yourself in the situation of having it. What do you see/hear/feel when you have it?" Make sure that your image of the goal is sensory rich, vivid and compelling.

E – "Ecology" (Effects on every area of your life) This is a 'risk assessment' on how the goal will affect every area of your life.

a) "What will happen when you have it?" "What won't happen when you have it?" "Are there any downsides to achieving it?" b) "How would having this outcome affect each area of your life?" "Who else would be affected by you having this

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outcome?" "How would you having this outcome affect the planet?" c) Congruence check: "How do you feel about this goal?" "Do you want it 100%?" "Does your energy increase when you think about it?" If not, adjust the goal until you feel enthusiastic about it!

R – Resources and Route

What resources do you have that will help you reach your goal? What additional resources do you need? It's much easier to work out how to get to your goal once you've

got there!

Now, put yourself in the position of having achieved the goal. What had to be in place immediately before to allow your goal to happen? And what had to be in place before that? Continue all the way back to the very first step.

Example of a well formed outcome: It is July 1st 2015 and I am sitting in my 5 bedroom, detached, neo Georgian house near Guildford. The lounge is 45 feet long and 25 feet wide and the floors throughout the house are oak. The room is decorated in pastel shades of green, blending in perfectly with the French curtains and the Italian furniture. There is a spacious feel about the whole house as each room is large allowing a sense of freedom. Each room is decorated to my taste and I am delighted with the overall feel of the house. I can see the garden through the window, the beautifully manicured lawns bordered by borders filled with summer blossoms. As I smell the scents of the garden floating in through the French windows I reflect back at the time 3 years ago when I wrote this goal and recall the first step of the journey to this house when I set up my own practice. As I sit here now I have a real sense of achievement, a feeling of wellbeing and excitement of finally achieving some of my potential. The house is mortgaged to 50% of its value on the day I purchased it.

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Exercise: Using the Goal-Setting technique above as reference, write 1 goal for an area of your life – pick 1 of the following: - Career - Relationship - Family - Health/ & Fitness - Personal Growth - Spirituality


Meetings Remember: Outcome, Sensory Acuity, Flexibility, Rapport

In this section, we go through step by step what do to for the preparation stages of the meeting. The opening of the meeting and then what to do during the meeting and how to close it.

Preparation - "MODEM"

Must we meet? Is the meeting necessary? Meetings, preparing for meetings, and travelling to and from meetings, take up a lot of time that often could be more productively spent elsewhere. Considering meetings in the light of the "Managers vs Makers" distinction made by Paul Graham at paulgraham.com: Meetings fit well with someone on "Manager's schedule" where the day is divided into one hour intervals. "Makers" (programmers, technicians etc.) need longer chunks of time to be productive. For them, a 10:30 meeting means switching work modes, and breaks up the morning into chunks too small to do anything hard in. ('Managers vs maker’s schedule' distinction from Paul Graham at paulgraham.com) Information updates can be handled by email or phone. Anything with and emotional impact needs a face to face meeting.

Outcome: establish where you want to get to by the end of the meeting. "This is what I want to happen by the end of this meeting." Evidence frame: What will you see/hear/feel as a result? What will be measurably different? Having an outcome for the meeting switches your focus from yourself to your desired outcome. This can make a huge difference if you have previously been unconfident in meetings.

Decide what you will do for each contingency Explore what could happen and establish "if-then" options for what you will do if it does.

Establish who needs to be there, and agree the agendaDiscover their outcomes and get agreement on the agenda. Meeting place Make the environment conducive to the outcome you want - no interruptions. Have the seating arrangements in a circle – so everyone can see each other's eyes.

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To really make sure that people concentrate and don't waste time, have the meeting standing up.

Opening the meeting – “RASTA”

Rapport As people come in, greet them and establish rapport. Sensory Acuity Calibrate their physiology - you are looking for alert, responsive people. If someone appears to be in the grip of a strong, negative emotion, this could disrupt their concentration or even the whole meeting if you don't deal with it. You can ask them about it - they might, for example, have left their car on double yellow lines. Throughout the meeting, use peripheral vision to regularly check what is happening.

State and agree the outcome and evidence procedure "This is where we want to get to by the end of the meeting, and we will know when we've got there because..."

Time frame Make sure everyone knows that the time that the meeting has to end. Ensure that everyone has time to say what they need to.

Achievements: start with successes With team meetings, use the "Appreciative Frame". A good way to get people into a better (and therefore more capable and creative) state is to ask "What successes and achievements have we had since we last met?" This should be in the spirit of an invitation to contribute, rather than picking on individuals: "You! What have you achieved?"

During the meeting and closing – “RRUBS”

Right level of detail Discuss ideas, objectives and responsibilities rather than every little detail of how someone is going to achieve them. If this needs to be discussed, it can be done outside the meeting. Remember, the more you drill down into detail, the less interesting it gets for people not directly involved in that topic - and the more opportunities you have for people to disagree.

'Relevancy Challenge': how to keep the meeting on track

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Make the agenda and desired outcome explicit and put it up where people can see it. If any participant goes off on a tangent, you can respectfully challenge: "Excuse me, how is this relevant to the agenda/outcome we agreed on?" Pretty soon, just a nod or gesture to the agenda should be enough to bring people back on track.

Unproductive participants: how to deal with them Two types of unproductive participants: someone who has switched off, and someone who is actively objecting and nit-picking. If the person appears to have 'switched off', you need to establish what's going on. Are they worried about something outside the meeting? Consider allowing them to deal with it.Are they thinking they shouldn't be there? Ideally you would find this out beforehand. Consider letting them leave if they don't need to be there for the rest of the meeting, and their responsibilities and actions have already been established. If this happens regularly, with more than one person, take it as evidence that your meetings are too long or that you are inviting the wrong people. If the person is constantly raising objections (a mismatcher or polarity responder), give them the job of "devil's advocate". Ask them to make notes of any flaws or objections they notice, and allocate them some time at the end of the meeting to report back on these. 'Backtrack Frame' to handle disagreement If there's major disagreement or objection at any stage, interrupt and summarise what has been agreed up to now, starting from the beginning of the meeting and continuing up to the last point of agreement. Match the tonality of the objecter, leading them towards a calmer state. This has the effect of a 'rewind' and is an opportunity to start over on the controversial area. Summarise At the end of the meeting, summarise what has been agreed, who is going to carry out each action and the completion date. You could also do a mini-summary at the end of each stage. Confirm the date for the next meeting and thank the participants.

Negotiating - 123-XL Preparation

1st Position: What do you want?

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Before you go into a negotiation, it's vital to know your ideal desired outcome. This will give you the upper boundary of your negotiating position. What is your Best Alternative To Negotiated Agreement (BATNA) - what you could get without negotiating? This will give you the lower limit or walk away point of your negotiating position. If the BATNA is better in every way than what you could get from negotiating, you don't need to enter into negotiation. Chunk up to what is important to you about your desired outcome. Are these values shared by all the significant players on your side? If not, chunk up further to what unites you. What other options could satisfy those values? Develop as many options as possible, to avoid being stuck in a single negotiating position. 2nd Position: What does the other side want? Learn as much as you can about the other side. If you don't have reliable information, put yourself in their shoes and imagine how things look from their point of view. What is their ideal desired outcome? What is their BATNA? What are the values behind their negotiating position? Are these values shared by all their negotiating team? Are there divisions you could use? What other negotiating positions could satisfy their values (the other side may not have thought of these yet)? Anticipate possible objections to your proposals, and think of ways to pre-frame them out. You will be updating this information and filling in any gaps with information you get during the negotiating process.

3rd Position: Look at the positions of the two sides from an objective viewpoint, without attachment to the outcome. From this perspective, how important is it to maintain the relationship? What would be the future consequences of maintaining, strengthening, or dissolving the relationship? What would be the potential gains and losses? If the relationship is worth maintaining, what would be the best outcome for the relationship? (win/win/win) What areas of agreement exist? What areas are still to be resolved? Plan how to discuss them. People tend to go into negotiations regarding the other parties as adversaries, so employ a different frame: what would the situation look like if the two sides were collaborating in finding a resolution?

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Negotiation EXchange Everything that happens in the actual negotiation is potentially useful information that you can use to update your knowledge of the other side's position. At the opening of the meeting, establish rapport.

Make sure you are negotiating with the right person - one who can make a decision. Ask something along the lines of: "If we discuss this today and we decide that we can reach some sort of agreement, will you need to consult someone else to get their approval, or are you able to make that decision yourself today?" If the approval of another person is needed, you need that person to be present at the negotiation.

Explore the outcomes and values behind their negotiating position by using an 'as if' frame: "If we were to arrive at some sort of agreement, what would that look like?" Early on, establish the areas of agreement, and summarise any progress made up to this point. Emphasize shared interests and shared values.

State the areas to be resolved.

As areas of disagreement or objections come up during the negotiation process, probe for the outcomes and values behind them.

Develop win/win options that dovetail the desired outcomes and values of both parties.

Get agreement on the best option.

Close: summarise the agreement and agree an action plan.

Common tactical errors - and what to do instead.

Opening with your minimum acceptable position, or close to it. This is a classic error of inexperienced 'amiable' negotiators, worried about being rejected. Remember, once you've gone down, you can't go back up again. Instead, open with your 'ideal' position. Taking rejection personally. They are rejecting or objecting to your proposal, or some part of it, not you as a human being. If you notice yourself having a pattern of being concerned about this, being clear about your desired outcome will help.

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Not maintaining your own state. Excessive adrenalin produces the fight/flight/freeze response, which is not conducive to win/win outcomes. Fear and anger states reduce your ability to reframe, put things in perspective, develop new ideas, and absorb new information. Maintain a positive state by centring, peripheral vision, dissociating when necessary, and being kind to your body.

Losing rapport. Examples would be using judgmental language about your opponents or their proposals - "This is a laughable offer" - or making accusations - "You're being obstructive." Instead, use "I" language and talk about consequences and how you feel about them: "A figure as low as that will not provide an incentive to invest, and I feel concerned about the long-term viability." Notice that statements about how you feel can't be contradicted. Another example would be personalizing language - so talk about "that offer" rather than "your offer" if you need to raise objections. Also, explicitly label your suggestions and questions to help the other side see them as just that rather than a sneaky tactic: "Let me ask a question at this point"; "I'd like to offer a suggestion."

Framing the negotiation as a fight rather than a collaborative search for a solution. If you aim to crush your 'opponent', even if you succeed, the best you can expect is remorse, resentment, and revenge. The classic example Gregory Bateson gives in "Steps to an Ecology of Mind" is the Treaty of Versailles after the First World War, where the victorious Allied powers humiliated the defeated Germany with a treaty so harsh that it created the conditions for the rise of Nazism and another world war within twenty years. Instead, you can frame the negotiation as a shared search for solutions. You can ask for help in developing options for mutual gain, present a number of options for the other party to select from, or agree standards for selecting an option. If the other side present unacceptable options or appear to be 'fighting dirty', it can help you to separate the positive intentions behind their behaviour from the behaviour itself. Just like you, they are doing the best they can. What can you do to make it possible for them to act in a more acceptable way?

Negotiating with your team in view of the other team. If you make divisions obvious, it's easy for the other team to exploit them. If you need more time, ask for a recess.

After the Negotiation

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Learn from what happened What went well? What will you definitely do again next time? What will you do differently next time? With anything that went wrong, "What do we need to learn from this?" Where you have encountered unexpected objections, develop ways of pre-framing them out next time.

Selling with NLP There are two aspects to success in sales - one is the 'numbers game', which is about actually contacting the customer. Given a certain ratio of sales to number of contacts, the more customers you contact, the more sales you make.

If you already have a proven sales model in place, work with it. Follow the steps (in a Procedural fashion) and you will get results. The key to success here is taking action, and there are various NLP tools you can use to manage your state and help you stay motivated:

- Anchoring to get yourself into a motivated state

- Swish Pattern to defuse any negative triggers that hinder you from getting started Reframing to keep your motivation going (e.g. remembering that it takes a certain number of "no’s" to get to a "yes", so each "no" is good because gets you closer to the next yes).

- Reframing, along with Submodalities Belief Change, can also help you to let go of limiting beliefs that get in the way of selling, or taking rejection personally.

- Submodality shifts to transform, defuse or eliminate altogether any critical internal dialogue.

- Parts Integration to increase your congruence about selling.

- The Appreciative Frame to help you remember, learn from, and build on your successes.

- Modelling to help you learn from sales superstars.

- The New Behaviour Generator to help you develop and take on new, more effective behaviours.

(In our extended trainings, we delve into greater detail of tools and techniques above)

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The other key factor in sales success is establishing a relationship with your customer, understanding their needs, and convincing them to buy from you at the right time, rather than from someone else at some undefined point in the future.

The CRAFT model that follows is designed to give you a structure that helps you do this. If you have your own proven sales model already in place, you can take the NLP tactics included in the CRAFT model and apply them to your own process to turbocharge your results.

The CRAFT Model 1. C redibility Establish your credibility - congruence, state management, authority, command tonality. Anticipate and preframe out potential objections (give credible examples that counter objections before the customer even thinks of them). Each time you hear a new objection, develop a preframe for it to use next time. Get to know your customer's sector so that you understand the terminology they use.

2. R apport Establish rapport - responsiveness, understanding, friendliness, matching, positive body language/voice tone, and above all pay attention to the customer. Notice what you can about the customer’s values, and their preferred representational system.

3. A way-froms Establish/discover the problems that the customer faces. In conventional (non-NLP) terms, this is where you get a better understanding of their needs. By the end of this section and the previous one, you will want to have found out about: - Something they bought that they are happy with, and how they

bought it (this should give you their Convincer Channel, Convincer Strategy and their Reassurance Strategy). Anchor this so you can use the anchor later.

- Something they bought that turned out to be a bad purchase (anchor this so you can use it later)

- What their internal representation of success is, and what they want to avoid.

- Their values.

If your offering genuinely does not offer a solution to their problems, tell them honestly (this will enhance your credibility and strengthen your relationship for the future - the customer will see you as an

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adviser who has saved them from making a costly mistake) and move on to the next customer.

4. F uture Implications Explore/ emphasise what will happen if they don’t make a change - you are aiming to ramp up the away-from motivation here. Go as far into the future as you need to in order to get them to realise the seriousness of their problems and the need to do something about them now.

5. T owards your proposed solution Present your proposed solution. Use ‘because’ to give reasons to hit both towards and away-from values. Only present the benefits and features that are relevant to the customer's perceived needs. Subtly use the Reassurance anchor if they are considering buying your offering, and the 'Bad Purchase' anchor. Important - bear in mind that being "caught" using any kind of NLP tactics that the customer sees as manipulative is an instant rapport and credibility killer. Even if buyers are not trained in NLP themselves (and an increasing number are), they will unconsciously pick up if you are not genuinely trying to help them solve their problems.

AND FINALLY…. …..Congratulations on completing this NLP Business Introductory Training!

In this final video John will summarise the benefits of NLP and the techniques you have learnt so far to help you become happier, healthier and more successful in your Business. It’s time to learn ‘how to think’ not ‘what to think’.

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s3-eu-west-1. Web viewBusiness like chess is a strategic skill, played out in the “real world”, also like chess, in business and in life some rules can be bent to give you an advantage