So the time has come. - You might have been putting it off, but you know that

it is time to pop the question. It’s a big step, - probably a once-in-a-lifetime

occasion. - It needs to be done properly. – You are going to have to buy a

diamond engagement ring!

Even if you have never given any thought to engagement rings, you can be pretty sure that your

partner has. She will have looked at the rings of acquaintances, friends, maybe sisters.

Sometimes she will have been envious of huge rocks, and probably on other occasions less than

impressed by tiny chips in the rings she has been proudly shown, and no doubt she will have

imagined what sort of ring she might one day receive. - No pressure then!

Rules of Engagement

You won’t see many images in this guide. - I’m not going to talk about the ring design.

What I will do is give you lots of information and useful tips to help you buy an

engagement ring that is perfect for you and, more importantly, perfect for your partner.

How to buy the perfect engagement ring

Should you buy the ring together or alone?

The romantic in you might say, “I’ll buy the ring by myself and surprise her

with it.”, whilst your practical self says “What if she doesn’t like the ring I

pick?”. This is something you’ll need to think about. Read on! - By the end

of this guide you ought to have an idea which is the best route for you.

Don’t be tempted to rush out and buy straight away! Take your time and enjoy the

whole process. It is important to get it right. The saying “It’s the thought that counts” does

not apply here! - Remember she’ll be wearing this ring for the rest of her life. You have to

get it right!

Do some research! - Find out what her taste is before you think about purchasing a ring,

and you’ll dramatically improve your chances of success!

Wander past jewellers together and look in the windows. Pay attention to what she’s

looking at. - Is she drawn toward classic or contemporary designs? A single stone or

several smaller stones? Maybe a row of three or five diamonds, or perhaps a cluster of

stones, or a halo style.

Enlist the help of a friend or relative. Women talk about these things! – The chances are

that a sister or close friend will know exactly the type of ring your partner would like. This

person might even have been primed with the information you need, just on the off-chance

that you might ask. – Yes, - women really are that sneaky! Obviously you need to use your

own judgment regarding who you can trust to keep a secret. Tell as few people as possible.

To minimize the chances of someone spilling the beans and ruining your surprise.

Buy what she would choose for herself, not what you would like her to have. She’s the

one who will be wearing it, not you.

Look in her jewellery box, and take note the style of rings she already wears. Bear in

mind that some of what you see there may not reflect her current taste. - There might be

pieces she has inherited, that she loves for sentimental reasons, rather than for the design.

You will also need to find out her ring size. – Try to borrow one of her rings, but be

aware that the corresponding finger on the right and left hand are normally different. You

could ask one of her friends to go shopping with her and try on rings on for fun, getting her

finger sized at the same time. It isn’t really a problem to adjust a ring to fit after you’ve

proposed, so don’t worry too much, but if you can get it right she can wear it straight away.

Choosing the ring together can be romantic too, because it will be a shared

experience, and you’ll both have a say in the choice. Book a consultation,

and you can discuss ideas with a jewellery designer or goldsmith.

Where should you buy the ring?

There is no shortage of jewellers, in the high street, and on-line, all keen to

get your business.

Buying online is fine if you are buying say, an electrical product, where the only difference

between different sellers is the price. An engagement ring is a totally different thing! You

need to see it in the flesh.

It is possible to purchase a ring on Sale-Or-Return, so you can see it before you decide.

Sounds sensible, but beware! - If it comes from certain countries, (including the USA) when

you try to return the ring you’ll find that the Post Office and Courier companies do not carry

jewellery.

You could buy a ring on holiday. This sounds like a nice idea. An engagement ring and a

holiday souvenir all in one! But what happens if something goes wrong? You may have a

warrantee, but how could you return it for repair or replacement?

You could buy from one of the large jewellery chains, with shops all over the country. Be

aware they sell mass-produced factory-made rings, so there will be hundreds or thousands

of rings identical to yours.

You could commission a bespoke ring, which will mean you can have a ring that is unique,

and you can even design it yourself. Many people assume that it has to be more expensive

than buying a pre-made item. This is not so, as a bespoke jeweller will design a ring to your

individual budget.

Some engagement rings are all about the stone. The mount is just there to hold the stone,

and show it off, which works fine with a large rock. If your budget won’t stretch to a huge

rock you can still achieve the WOW! factor with the design of the ring itself. - A modest

diamond can look just as striking as a large one.

If you commission a bespoke ring, the individuality of the ring plus the fact that you

helped design it yourself is just as important as the size of the diamond!

There are some TV shopping channels that sell jewellery, including engagement rings at

very low prices. The reason is that they are mass-produced in vast quantities, and

usually the metal is extremely flimsy, with bands hollowed out to keep the weight down,

and the diamonds of a lower quality than you would normally find in an average jewellers

shop. This might be fine for a fashion ring that will be worn for a year or two, but won’t

you want your engagement ring to stand up to a lifetime of wear, and then pass it down

to the next generation? Your engagement ring is not really the place to cut corners!

Why not commission a bespoke ring just for her?

If you do this alone you can surprise her with a ring you helped to design.

Be aware that you will be unable to return a bespoke ring, so you need to be sure it is a

design she will like.

Alternatively you could propose before buying a ring and then arrange a design consultation

together. This way you can both have creative input in the design.

Another option is to propose with a loose diamond. Purchase the stone from the jeweler on the

understanding that you can swap it and then return to the jeweller as a couple to design the ring

together. Check with the jeweller beforehand that you can exchange the diamond if she would

prefer a different shape. That way you can’t go wrong!

Bear in mind it takes time to make a ring. Typically a goldsmith or jewellery designer will

need a few weeks from date the order is placed. You need to factor this into your plans

regarding the date of the actual proposal.

For more unusual engagement rings of higher quality look for an independent

jeweller that designs and makes its own jewellery. Even if they use mass-

production techniques, the numbers will be comparatively small, and you are

far less likely to come across someone wearing exactly the same ring.

Which metal is best?

White gold

White gold is a popular choice, but many people end up wishing they had gone for

platinum instead.

Did you know that white gold is generally electroplated with another metal called Rhodium

to make it appear whiter than it really is? Unfortunately sooner or later the Rhodium

plating starts to wear off, revealing the true colour of the white gold. This can look like

stains appearing on the ring. If you prefer a white metal, consider going for a metal that is

naturally white rather than a yellow metal that has been made white artificially.

Platinum

In terms of durability and colour, platinum is the best of the white precious metals, but it

is also the most expensive because it is the rarest. Unlike white gold, platinum is naturally

white, so requires no plating. It is much tougher and more hard-wearing than white gold,

and is hypoallergenic. Combine this with the luxurious weighty feel of platinum, and it is

no wonder that many couples are prepared to pay the extra price for the best.

Palladium

Palladium is similar in appearance to Platinum. It is naturally white, so needs no plating.

It is tougher and hard-wearing than white gold but it is not as good as platinum for

holding stones securely.

If you want yellow gold, 18ct is what is generally used for quality jewellery.

Good quality diamonds are not usually set in 9ct gold. These days most

people prefer “white metal” engagement rings. If you prefer a silver colour

you have a choice of Platinum, white gold or Palladium.

How do you choose a diamond?

It is quite likely that the diamond(s) will account a large proportion of the cost of the ring. The

criteria that affect the price of a are know as the “Four Cs” - Cut, Colour, Clarity and Carat.

The first three refer to quality and the last is just size (weight).

It’s a good idea to research the 4 Cs, but don’t fool yourself that this makes you a diamond

expert. Beware. - A little knowledge can be a dangerous thing! - The Four Cs just scratch the

surface of diamond grading, and you need to be aware that there is a lot more affecting the

value of a diamond. You will still need to rely on expert advice from your jeweller.

You might notice that seemingly very similar diamonds vary greatly in price. This doesn’t mean

that the lower priced stone is a bargain and the higher-priced one is a rip-off. Very often the

opposite is true! A stone with a lower price can still be over-priced for what it is! Generally

speaking you get what you pay for.

It is a good idea to decide on a budget and then look at stones that fall within it. This way you

will at least know that what you are looking at is affordable. Why waste time looking at things

outside your budget? If you were buying a car you wouldn’t look at Ferraris if you only had the

budget for a Ford Fiesta!

For any given price-point you could find a perfect quality stone, that is the best it could possibly

be, at whatever size that price will get you, or at the other end of the scale you could find the

largest stone for the same price regardless of quality. which will be a horrible colour, full of big

inclusions, and lacking in sparkle! In reality most people don’t opt for either extreme, but

choose a stone somewhere between. In an ideal world most of us would want a huge

diamond of perfect quality, but in real life it is a compromise between size and quality. What you

need to do is look at a range of stones that within your price range and decide what seems a

good balance to you.

How much should you spend?

It is often said that an engagement ring should cost twice the man’s net monthly salary. There is

no “right” amount, and you should spend what feels right for you. Make sure you have a realistic

figure in your mind before you start.

If you are shopping as a couple look only at rings within your price range. - If she sets her

heart on a ring that is way outside your budget, she’ll be disappointed, and you’ll feel

embarrassed. (If you were buying a car you wouldn’t look at a Ferrari if you only had a Vauxhall

budget! - It’s best to be realistic from the outset.

A bespoke ring to fit your budget

When you are starting from scratch the ring can be designed to hit a price point that suits

you.

You could do this alone and surprise her with a ring you helped to design, or you could arrange

a design consultation together. This way you can both have creative input in the design. Be

aware that you will be unable to return a bespoke ring, so you need to be sure it is a design she

will like. Bespoke engagement rings offer the chance to be individual. You could help design

the ring yourself and if you involve your partner both of you can have an input in the design.

Be aware that it takes time to make a ring. Typically a goldsmith will need a few weeks from date

the order is placed. You need to factor this into your plans regarding the actual proposal.

A diamond certificate can be a useful tool if

you know how to read it, but don’t base your

choice of stone solely on certificate. There are

a lot of diamonds around that look like a real

bargain on paper, but turn out to be over-

priced for what they are. You should “buy with

your eyes”. By all means refer to the

certificate, but don’t let a piece of paper

overrule what your own eyes tell you.

The most important thing is to trust the

jeweller you are buying from. If in doubt, go

somewhere else.

Buying an engagement ring may seem like a minefield, but don’t be put off.

Once you start looking you’ll probably enjoy the process.

Good Luck!

Andrew Leggett has been making bespoke jewellery for over 40

years, and has run his own business specialising mainly in

bespoke wedding rings and engagement rings since 1985. He and

his team are always pleased to discuss wedding ring ideas and

offer advice with absolutely no obligation.

andrew@aurumjewellers.com