Volume 32, Issue 7 Apr. 1st, 2016 ALL ARTICLES ARE FALSE AND FAKED, HAPPY APRIL FOOL’S

In thisIssue Teacher awards....

woohoo

Page School for a year, sounds like a blast

Page

48Page Page

Vegans keep complaining

Page72 English teachers hate books

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Nice bathrooms? Good one

Student Council President yearns for puuuuurrrrrrrfection Adored by teachers and loved by students, Jacob Sutton, Stu-dent Council President and Year-book Editor, has shocked the stu-dent body with his confession. Sutton, once planning to pursue his post-high school years at an Ivy League university, is now be-coming a cat. When asked about his feline coming out, Sutton said, “Cats turn on people really fast, you know? I feel like I’m definitely turning on everybody right now.” Sutton has decided he will not attend college in the fall, but rather pursue his life in the cat department. “I real-ize my whole life has been leading up to this point, but I don’t need college anymore. Most cats don’t go to college,” said Sutton. Concerning how he told his family and friends, Sutton said, “I told my parents by saying “You may see me now, but soon you’ll see meow.”” Sutton claims they couldn’t understand what he was telling them by saying that. “I showed them the song from Disney’s Aristocats [“Everybody Wants to be a Cat”], and they said they didn’t want to be a cat. I said

‘I know, but I do, “” said Sutton. Sutton admits that his sister is ac-cepting the fact that he wants to be a cat because she loves animals, but since she is vegan, she isn’t too happy about his new diet. “I’m not a huge fan of wet cat food,” said Sutton, “And from my experience as a human, dry animal food isn’t all that great ei-ther. Hopefully this will all change when I’m through with my trans-formation.” Sutton has been re-searching surgeries and differ-ent procedures to undergo this transformation. Part of Sutton’s alteration has already begun. Sut-ton said “I should be growing fur pretty soon. Yet, I don’t know how I’ll change after all my surgeries.” Sutton continues on the search for the procedures to perfect his new body. “With a decision this big, I really have to pursue my options,” said Sutton. As far as biological concerns Sutton may face, he said “When people ask me “Jacob, aren’t you worried?”, I say “Yeah, I’m wor-ried.” The first hairball is always the hardest.” Other fears Sutton faces include the lifespan of being a cat and litter boxes. Sutton says

Roswell High Schools favorite (and only) head boys basketball coach won the Georgia Powerball in this past month’s drawing. We followed up with Coach Phillips to see what plans were in store for himself and his family regard-ing the winnings. Surprisingly enough, Phillips plans to spend a large percentage of his earnings on renovations for Roswell High and provided “The Sting” with a list he is submitting to Principal Huff and

the school board later this month. It reads:1. Build locker rooms for boys and girls basketball with separate weight room. The locker room will be two stories. The top floor will be an alumni/ banquet room for Roswell Hall of Fame.2. A separate court will be made strictly for basketball, and it will be in a completely new facility that we will have to add on to the school. The current basketball

courts will be used strictly for PE classes.3. In the now PE only gymnasi-ums, the floors will be replaced, ceiling mounted goals will be in-stalled, and new bleachers will be implemented.4. Volleyball and wrestling will also receive locker rooms com-plete with separate weight rooms.5. Renovate the theatre department with a new sound and lighting sys-tem as well as updated seating.

6. Get approval through the city for an additional senior lot en-trance and exit behind Outback Steakhouse. Coach Phillips plans to move to a Caribbean Island to avoid income tax…during the offseason. So, no, we haven’t gotten rid of him just yet. What, you really thought he was going to pay for all of this and not use it? Come on now.

by McKenzie Glaze

by Kasey Cwalina Coach Phillips wins lottery makes big plans for money

that although cats have shorter life spans, the stress colleges put on him already shortened his hu-man lifespan, so they should level out. In regard to the litter box fear, Sutton said, “Litter boxes kind of freak me out....I don’t even think they make litter boxes for my size; I may just go the old fashioned way.” Sutton was asked about how his childhood may have hinted at this transformation coming about or how it might have affected his decision. “I never watched kid movies because by the time I was three, I was building my college resume,” said Sutton. He claims his inspiration is Mufasa, of “The Lion King”, since Mufasa’s motto is all about remembering who you are. Sutton also claims that he’s been a fan of yarn his whole life, that was a realization in the whole thing of coming into the cat life. In the aspect of coming into the cat life, Sutton was questioned on his choice to not attend college. “That song (Everybody Wants to be a Cat) really spoke to me on a personal level. I realized I never actually wanted to go to college or

be successful; I’d rather just be a cat,” said Sutton. Sutton isn’t ex-actly worried about financial prob-lems either. He said, “At the end of it all, you can either make money or just drink milk all day.” Sutton also said, “I don’t need to go to college to feel better than every-body else. I can just be a cat. If I can be a cat, I can do anything. But I don’t really want to do anything, I just want to be a cat.” Sutton is not looking back at this point. “People say “You don’t choose the cat life, the cat life chooses you”; and it’s true,” said Sutton. Sutton claims he is ready to turn his attitude into cattitude.

Photo Credit: Nikki Cunningham

39

News

[ ]News 2

The Sting

Rumors sink, truth revealed Attention all students! The rumors are true. Evidence has been discov-ered that confirms the existence of a swimming pool on the roof. When asked about the pool’s existence, teachers avoided eye contact. Suspicious, right? Many even became fidgety and at-tempted to change the subject. In one classroom, Mr. Anderson was seen dropping a marker after be-ing asked about the existence of the pool, due to clammy hands. The swim team has also been a reliable source of evidence. When interviewed by the detec-tives, Junior Lindsay Thomas said, “I’m not saying there is a pool on the roof, but if there isn’t one, where do you think swim team practices? Think about it.” The school’s janitor, Stan-ley, made another incriminating discovery. He reported having to wipe up suspicious wet foot-prints throughout the hallways after school. When the investi-

by Lindsay Boylegative staff dug deeper into this claim, it was discovered that the school had recently purchased 10 new mops on the same date as the start of the swim sea-son. Coincidence? I think not. Now that the secret is out, the swim team plans to sell tickets for students to enter the legend-ary pool. They will be sold for $10. Just remember the pass-word, “Eat my bubbles,” in or-der to be eligible to purchase.

Proof of Roswell’s long hidden roof-top swim facilities.Photo credit: www.shaverroofing.com

Water crisis sweeps Milton A water contamination took place at Milton High School last Thursday, the school got evacu-ated around noon, but even then it was too late. The majority of the students had already consumed the water. Side effects were first reported early Friday morning, the first effect was a strong odor emitting from the students’ bod-ies. The next one came shortly after that, their skin started to turn a dull, metallic color. The last side effect was their skin started turning hard, like a metal. Little did they know, the side ef-fects started happening right away. Doctors reported that the students started acting rude and ignorant. Nobody immediately noticed be-cause they normally act in that way. They say the effects might not completely disappear, but it’s not that great of a change from how they were before. As of now, they have no cure for the students affected, but are working on it.

Milton officials are doing ev-erything that they can to contain the water contamination and the students affected by it. The school will be closed for at least two more weeks as it is being decontaminat-ed by hazmat officials. As for now, the unharmed students are warned to stay at home and watch for re-ported symptoms or for new ones.

Yeezy, breezy, candidate approval With the election just around the corner, some of the Hornets are digging themselves holes in an effort to avoid their twenty sixth amendment right. Many candidates in the current election have contrasting views and plans on ruling the free world, but a lot students eligible to vote have collectively stated their support for one candidate: Kanye West. The majority of seniors who are of voting age or who will be of voting age are not feeling very indifferent for the upcoming elec-tion. Given the choices of Barack Obama, John F. Kennedy, and Kanye West, each candidate has a big ego and an even bigger dream, but none can compare to the rap legend. Everyone knows about West’s announcement to run for the highest office of the American government in 2020 at the 2015 MTV Video Music Awards. Luck-ily, Kanye West decided against waiting another four years to make his political debut, and that debut has been a memorable one.

Obviously, West has a lot of support from the millennials with his campaign explaining his pop-ularity with our seniors, but these people are not just giving their support; they are giving West’s campaign their time and money. “I

by Katie Roth

By Dani Carmody

support Kanye West for President in this election. Out of all the can-didates, he really can do the most for the country, and since I can vote, I will do whatever it takes to help him win,” said Senior Harri-

After years of complaints about the vandalized and vulgar school bathrooms, Superior Plumb-ing has finally agreed to step in and completely renovate and remodel them at no cost to us. As much as we hate to let go of misspelled Bible verse refer-ences, foundation-stained walls, and lists of guys to avoid, we’re excited to not feel nauseous just from walking by the bathrooms. Here are some pictures to show you what you won’t be missing and what you have to look forward to.Thanks again, Superior Plumbing!

Before and after of RHS’ bathrooms.Photo credit: Kayden Cann

Bye bye bathroomsby Kayden Cann

son Finch. You can feel the impact of West’s campaign on the youth. In addition, Kanye West is not using any Political Action Com-mittee’s funds to help fund his campaign. He is only accepting donations from supporters. Kanye West is unable to fund his cam-paign personally, due to his fifty three million dollar debt from his clothing line. West is run-ning a completely people funded campaign which is going over well with, not only his advocates but most of the general public. Although West is an unlike-ly candidate for this election, he is the most popular one. With an his attributes like speaking what he believes, being a gifted mu-sician, and his public speaking skills that were shown at the 2009 VMAs when he went on stage with Taylor Swift; he is one of the front runners in the 2016 elec-tion. Not only our seniors, but the citizens of the country believe he will to evolve the United States into a better country as a whole.

Photo credit: www.pinterest.com

[ ]News 2

Students celebrate as admin-istration confirms a change to the new exemption policy. The old procedure which allowed stu-dents to exempt all eligible finals in classes with less than three ex-cused and no unexcused absences was thrown out Thursday. Replac-ing it is a new policy granting all students the ability to exempt any three classes, regardless of other factors such as attendance. “Many students, parents, and fac-ulty members were upset with the old policy,” said Assistant Princi-pal Frank Brown. “So many people were unhappy, the administration was forced to realize the limita-tions of such a strict approach”. The old policy allowed for no more than three excused ab-sences; however, students could submit appeal forms in order to once again be allowed to exempt finals if they missed school due to important circumstances, such as illness or the death of a fam-ily member. Though the admin-istration accepted these appeal

School exemption policy recieves positive lightby Noelle Pickard

forms, only a few were approved. “I had the flu for an entire week, and was so sick I could barely stand. When I got back to school, I submitted my doc-tor’s note and then an appeal form, but it was denied and I couldn’t exempt any of my finals,” said Sophomore Casey Smith. The vast majority of students who turned in appeal forms were denied. Of the 211 appeal forms that were submitted, only 12 were approved by administration, 11 of

which were for religious reasons and 1 for the death of a parent. The new policy allows students to stay home when sick, and en-sures that all excuses are not sus-ceptible to administration subjec-tivity. Furthermore, allowing all students to exempt three course fi-nals reduces confusion and ensures simple, conflict-free agreement. “I love the new policy,” litera-ture teacher Ally Williams, “It allows my students to stay home when they don’t feel well, or

when they need a break. There are a few students in my AP lit-erature classes who have missed more than ten days in just this semester. They really deserve to be able to exempt their fi-nals, and they’re overjoyed.” The general opinion of students is the same. “I’m really excited for the new exemption policy. My friends and I are planning a week trip to Florida in May before fi-nals. It’s perfect! We won’t have to study because we’ll be allowed to exempt those finals thanks to the new policy which allows us to go on the trip in the first place,” said senior Jack Wright. The new exemption policy is effective immediately this school semester, and the administration expects overall consensus to be positive. “Maybe attendance will decrease a little,” said front of-fice administrator Barbara Shea, “but at least our students will be happy, and that’s all that matters.”

Photo credit: www.hercampus.com

Have you ever wondered, “Man, I love the technology here, but can’t I just use something cooler than this?” If so, you’re in pure luck, because now everyone will get future technology! That’s right. Even though in this era the electric gadgets are so cool, wouldn’t it be cooler to take it to the next level, the future? And you don’t even need to worry about paying for this new technology, because it is free to all students! Now hold on a minute, you might be wondering how we did this. Well, we have the answers!Q: How did you get the mon-ey? How did you get this non-existing technology? Why did you get the technology? Why do we get one for free?

A: The money was secretly saved (some) and there was a total of one billion dollars to pay for all that. We had secretly built a time machine so that we can go to the future and buy what they have. We got it so that you can see how future technology works and take a glimpse into the future, and some others don’t have one, like the author. And finally, we paid for all of this stuff for you to train with. If you had more ques-tions about the technology, ask the people who got the gadgets. You will be amazed by the future technology. It is much better than the modern gadgets we have. If you have the time to buy (as in take one for free), get it in the morning, but don’t be late, they will sell out quickly!

Students’ future technologyby Fernando Castillo

Most student and faculty mem-bers remember when the atrium was being remodeled and done, however, it turns out it was mess-ier than we thought. Due to poor lamination in the support beams on the ceiling, new construction is taking place over this coming summer. The beams in the ceiling, made of Laminated veneer lumber, were faulty when Bass Construc-tion company failed to build in the correctly-laminated pieces for the ceiling. Jewel Bass, CEO of Bass Construction Company refused to comment when approached. In order to pay for the immense reconstruction, the school board has decided to sue the company. They also plan to raise the student fees $60 each, seniors excluded.

“I’m so excited! I don’t really care if we have to pay a little more, I just hope it ends up looking better, I think it’s a little ugly now.” said Sophomore Samantha Sawyer. It seems that the student body has respective and diverse thoughts about the situation. “It’s so un-fair! We shouldn’t be charged for something that isn’t our fault! And as long as you’re a student here, you should have to pay too. The Senior exclusion is not justi-fied at all.” Freshman Akil Small said when asked for his thoughts. “Yeah, I’m totally not okay with this, and I don’t think the rest of the student body is either.” With these comments we can see it’s no longer a matter of fairness, only a matter of safety within the school.

Two atriums one lawsuitby Camilla Schiappa

Photo Credit: www.youtube.com

The Sting | News |April 1, 2016

Photo credit: www.indulgy.com

Lifestyle

Lifestyle[4 ]

The Sting

Butter the bunny has been caught red pawed! Butter has been seen sucking the juice out of students vegetables. This gave us the assumption that But-ter was the kind of Bunnicula! Bunnicula is a vampire bun-ny that sucks juice out of veg-etables, just like our culprit. Butter is a brown haired bunny that lives in H-101 with Ms.Yuan. Mrs.Yaun can’t eat her lunch or snacks in her own classroom anymore. She will help a student with a question and come back seeing her dried out carrots sitting on her desk. “It’s unfortunate that I can’t en-joy my vegetables anymore,” said Mrs.Yuan, “I’m always on the lookout to see if butter will drink the juice out of my vegetables.” Even students are noticing that their food is become withered. “I was looking so forward to the

Is Butter the Bunny Bunnicula?By Gabrielle DuChateau

peppers and cucumbers that my mom had packed in my lunch but now that a vegetable juice thirsty animal is on the loose I can’t risk bringing them to school.” Said Junior Saul Goodman

How can we fix this issue? There are two possible options. Get rid of Butter or Get rid of the vegetables. We cannot get rid of Butter because she is so darn cute even if she ruins our snacks. What we can do is replace all the veg-etables in the school with some other kind of food that the bun-ny cannot suck the juice out of. “We can try replacing the veg-etables with fruit.” said Sopho-more Perri Havis, “The food is still healthy and maybe But-ter doesn’t like fruit because why hadn’t she tried it yet?” This choice will be taken up with the front office,cafeteria and Mrs.Yaun to decide how to solve the problem.

Photo credit: Gabrielle DuChateauButter the bunny sitting with an apple trying hard not to suck the juice.

Glorious wigs for the glory days Cross country, track coach, chemistry, APES, and astrono-my teacher, I guess you could say Coach Evans does it all. But there is something about Coach Evans you don’t know. He had long hair back in the day and keeps wigs in his closet so he can remember his “glory days.” One day in chemistry after we had finished notes Coach Evans showed us a picture of him when he had a flow. He was very proud to show off his hair and bell bottom jeans. “I miss my long hair so much. It really shaped who I am today and I like to look back and remember those times,” said Coach Evans. “It’s strange to remember that teachers have lives too and they had a life before teaching.” Said junior Dani Carmody, “I guess Coach Evans life was his hair.” Some people take the care of their hair very seriously. “Coach Evans’s wigs are the keys to his past life and the doors to his prime,” said Sophomore Athena Hall. Star track runner Josh Din-kleberg said that the passion his coach has for the wigs is shown through his inspiration “His track days live on through his wigs as they give him a means to reminisce on his glory days. This passion Coach Evans has is carried on to the track, as his wigs inspire him to motivate student athletes to achieve their best,” said Sophomore Oscar Garcia.

By Gabrielle DuChateau

After many years of Hair Mir-acle remedies gone wrong, Mr. Huff has finally found the top wigs he thinks will do the trick. Mr. Huff has always felt as though he was incomplete due to certain aspects of his existence that were missing, not allowing us to have the full experience of his “Huffness”. Therefore, all of the choices he has selected, rep-resent a part of his personality that no one knew existed. As a child, he was very precocious, Selection 1 is paying homage to the elderly mothers of his childhood church that kept him in line during Sun-day school. While the curls are representative of the strict regi-men he had to follow, the color selection of the wig is to highlight his eyes. He chooses Selection 2 for his Friday Fun-Days because everyone knows that blonds have more fun. He feels alive when

he lets his “hair” down. He is free to dance as if no one is watching and sing his rendition of “Blonds Just Want to Have Fun” – (thanks Cindy Lauper for that inspiration.) Selection 3 is what he uses to channel his inner educator. His Einstein-like appearance serves as inspiration for us all to suc-ceed. As principal of the school, he must stay focused on tasks and to ensure that we are equipped with knowledge, so who better to assist with that than Einstein?At the end of the week, Selec-tion 4 allows him to dive deep under the sea to store his gadgets and gizmos aplenty and whoz-its and whatzits galore that he has accumulated from our fellow students. The Little Merman has a vast collection of cellphones, hats, and backpacks to add to his underwater kingdom. Then he is able to share the many wonders of our land with his underwater friends and enlighten them with

Huff’s new hair is unbe-WEAVE-ableBy Ayla Gray and Nia Smith the glory days that he is a part

of. Many of these selections show a special part of Mr. Huff and we’re glad he chose to share them with us.

Photo credit: Ayla Gray and Nia Smith

Feature [ ] 5

by Gabrielle DuChateauFeature

The Sting

RHS Razzie Awards 2016Most disorganized teacher-

Mr. HoltMost likely to wear dresses everyday-

Ms. VolpertMost strict teacher- Mr. Ahmed

Most likely to have the worst chemistry- Mr. And Ms. Chilton

Most likely to have a shrine to the Care Bears- Mr. Hanaford

Most disliked teacher- Ms. Bregeth

English teachers break world record by Nikki Cunningham

Roswell High school is proud to announce that our very own English Department broke a world record this week for book stack-ing. A total of 500 books were stacked. You can catch the Eng-lish teachers in this year’s Guinness Book of World Records

Meme of the month

Say hello to the best presidential candidates in our great nation’s history. It is going to be a tight race, but they would both make amazing presidents.

by Nikki Cunningham

by Amanda Shadmani and Kayla Avila Photo credit: Amanda Shadmani and Kayla Avila

Photo credit: Nikki Cunningham

Photo credit: http://bit.ly/1UNFd0F

Photo credit: http://bit.ly/1RDqxkj

Roswell High School 11595 King Road, Roswell, Ga. 30075 (770) 552-4500 The Sting

Opinion

Staff SuperlativesKayden Cann | Perfect AttendanceAlyssa Howard | Laziest Staff MemberGabrielle DuChateau | MeanestMcKenzie Glaze | Most Loved Kayla Avila | Shrek EnthusiastKasey Cwalina | Shortest

Lindsay Boyle | Most SoulfulNolan Michael | Most DedicatedAmanda Shadmani | Most Likely to Make Molehills Out of MountainsNikki Cunningham & Sean Sweeney| Staff Couple

Staff Superlatives

Erica Maybaum-Editor in Chief Opinion 6[ ]

Megan Volpert | Yearbook EditorSushi the Fish | Most Alive

*These are all the opposite of what the staff members are really like.

You are what you meat<3 </3

by Kayla Avila

The Sting Staff would like to formally invite all students at RHS to the memori-al service of Sushi Esteban Julio Ricardo Dela Rosa Ramirez Smith.

RIP Beloved Fish & FriendOctober 1, 2015 - October 15, 2015

So, let’s just talk about bacon for a minute. That greasy goodness seems to make everything better. I mean how are we supposed to live without it? And hamburgers, oh lord, do not get me started with hamburgers. They are like happi-ness stuffed in buns; what more could we want? Sure, animals have to die for them, but that’s what they’re here for. Don’t plants have feelings, too? Why don’t veg-ans and vegetarians think about that? Plus, what do they even eat? Grass? How pathetic. I’m pretty sure tofu can’t sustain you for the rest of your life either. Just hear it

from the words of Jerome Huff, “I can’t deal with that tofu stuff.” Now let me tell you, there’s noth-ing like some good ole fashioned chicken nuggets; those fake vegan imposters don’t got nothing on the realest bread crumbed heav-en. So, next time when you feel that little bit of guilt creeping on you when you’re about to take a bite of the dead fleshed goodness, just remember, Jesus probably liked his steaks medium rare, too.

Death, the inevitable end-ing to all forms of life, unless of course your Edward Cullen, but that’s beside the point. Although it seems many of us fear that point in life, we do not mind creating it for other forms of life because yolo right. I mean who even cares about a bunch of pigs or cows or even fish? And what’s so good about meat anyway? Yeah maybe it’s tasty, but I can’t imagine the amount guilt felt is really worth the treat.Then there’s always the protein dilemma, have people not heard of beans and nuts and other forms of nutrition that can keep

you as alive and healthy as meat will. It’s not like you’d have to give up pizza or cheese, which would then inevitably lead to a disastrous end because I know I cannot live without cheese. There’s many of alternatives out there for meat that us vegetarians like to eat accord-ing to the meat lovers such as air and grass and tree bark oh and if we’re ever feeling spontaneous we like to try some dirt. So next time you’re about to engulf in the so called “delicious” piece of meat just remember, Beyonce’s a vegan.

Year-Round school sounds totally great?by Kayden Cann After years of receiving com-plaints from parents about the lack of breaks within Fulton County’s school calendar, the board of edu-cation is considering switching to a year-round schedule. While it may sound like the opposite of a solu-tion to this ongoing debate, year-round school actually has many advantages; faculty members and families seem to be on board as this decision is being reviewed. A year-round school sched-ule only has 180 days of class, just like the traditional schedule, but instruction time is divided into smaller units. Rather than

going to school for nearly nine months straight with a rough-ly three month summer, year-round school operates on a 60/20 schedule. This means students have a three week break every two months. Sounds great, right? Year-round school is set on a multi-track system, meaning stu-dents and faculty on one track leave as students and faculty on another track return; this rotation happens every 20 days. The sys-tem increases school capacity by almost 40% percent and makes a much better student-teacher ratio. Statistics from www.cde.ca.gov show that, on average, test scores

are higher at year-round schools. It makes complete sense; students don’t ever go more than three weeks without practicing and rein-forcing materials learned in class. As a student myself, I believe this would be much more effective. I get tired of coming back from summer break and having to re-learn basic information I forgot over the span of three months. Another advantage is that summer school takes place dur-ing each three week break rather than only once over the three month summer break at tradi-tional schools. This way, the ma-terial is fresh on students’ brains,

giving them a higher chance at doing better in remediation. While there are still many things to be discussed and con-templated by Fulton County, I’m getting very excited at the possi-bility of year-round schooling. I believe I can speak for the major-ity of students when I say it would be much easier to stay motivated and achieve our goals without a three month break interrupting all progress. There are many assets to a year-round calendar that make it much more effective than a tradi-tional schedule, and it’s time we modernize our education system.

Photo credit: thinkglink.com

Sports

Sports [8]

The Sting

Broncos steal John Ford for head coach job by Sean Sweeney and Nolan Earlier this month, Spanish teacher and football coach John Ford was given the job of his dreams, a coaching position in the NFL. After a historic region winning 14-1 season with the Hornets, he received the call. “I was sitting in my class-room during lunch when my phone buzzed,” said Ford. “I answered it, and it was John El-way, the owner of the Broncos.” In February, the Broncos lifted the Lombardi trophy in San Francisco as champions of the NFL. It was the final season for legendary quarter-back Peyton Manning, earning his second Super Bowl ring. In his place next season will be Mark Sanchez, the wash-up of the league and known most for his infamous butt-fumble on Thanksgiving day. “Seeing how well he did with a new QB in Quint Neely, I’m very excited to see how he can help this of-

fense moving on from the Peyton era,” said John Elway. Of course, while Ford is moving into the coaching po-sition, former Coach John Fox was fired after he was found illegally smuggling toupees for Peyton Manning’s hair-line into the locker room. Under Commissioner Roger Goodell’s 2005 hairline act, it states that all players must deal

with their respective hair-lines, no matter how em-barrassing they might be. “I was just trying to help old Peyton out,” said Fox. “I’ve seen how bad it has gotten for him with Twitter creating memes left and right making fun of his unfortunate hair situation, but rules are rules, and if I must be fired, then that’s their decision.” For Ford, it is something of a

surreal occurrence, to be coach-ing the defending champions is like hitting the sports lottery. However, with the good comes bad, and that is the pressure. “Sure, you can say all you want about how lucky I am to be in this position, but at the end of the day, it is still football and there is work to be done,” said Ford. When asked about the pres-sure that comes with it, Ford said, “Pressure is something I’ve had to deal with for my entire life, something that everyone deals with at some time in their life, but you just have to put your head down and get to work.” Coach Ford’s legacy will go down in history as one of the best coaches to come through Roswell High. But all good things must come to an end, and so too must his tenure here in suburban Georgia. He is off to Denver to pursue greater things, take in big city life, the fame, and of course, the snow.

Micheal

A sneak peak of the Peyton Manning enjoying his retire-ment from the team. Photo credit: http://bit.ly/1Rq3c00

The Roswell Snow-boarding Team is ushering in their first season with non-stop practices and a very excited at-

titude to be Roswell’s first ever snow sport. As the competitions grow closer, the students are training more than ever and hope to do extremely well this year. Team co-captains, Freshmen Jewel Bass and Cami Schiappa, are eager to prove the team's aptitude for the sport. “I feel like the team is really growing, and all the hard work and practices we’ve put in are really going to pay off,” said Bass. Their first com-petition takes place in April. At the competitions, stu-dents perform various tricks in front of a judging panel. They are scored based on the diffi-culty of the move and their abil-ity to complete the move with precision. They are also judged

based on the variety of stunts they display. The competitors are then scored on a scale of 1-10, with 10 being the best possible score. The team usual-ly competes in more urban style arenas, which have more rail sets to perform tricks off of, rather than a more traditional setting which has more jump features. One thing these students have learned is how the power of snowboarding has brought them together. “The bond we have, the true passion for this sport, allows us all to come to-gether and channel positive en-ergy into boarding,” said Schi-appa, who is eager about the new team; she has confidence they will do well during the season. As the season continues,

Snowboarding team slides into the competition by Sydney Knowles

these students will be able to prove their skills and show us what all their hard work can ac-complish. The spirit and enthu-siasm means this will definite-ly be a team to watch out for.

Team member Justin Kellhoffer gearing up to attack the slopes. Photo credit: Justin Kellhoffer

Justin Marks preparing to shred the gnar. Photo credit: Justin Marks .

[ ]Seniors 8

SeniorThe Sting

Justin Marks’ New and Improved Barre, Bar, and Chocolate Bar of the Day

Photo Credit: Justin Marks, Ian Taylor, and Gabrielle DuChateau

Photo Credit: commons.wikimedia.org

Señora Mengel is greatest SENIORita of all time

by McKenzie Glaze and Ellie Brill With 50 pairs of glasses, 25 pairs of Toms, and 25 pairs of crocs, Señora Mengel rocks a new look every day. For all 26 years of being here, Mengal has won the best dressed senior superlative every time. After being on every varsity sport offered at Roswell, Mengel has taken up the new hob-by of making jewelry. Being the most involved and charitable stu-dent at the school, Mengel makes

many bracelets for herself, friends, family, and classmates. She’s even made a bracelet for the sting staff’s fish, Sushi. What a great student! Since she’s been learning at Ro-swell for almost 30 years, she of-ten makes comments about every year getting progressively easier. She has been here so long, she practically has grandkids. Some-

“...learning at Roswell for almost 30 years”

times, teachers even let her teach the class. Mengel is certainly one of Roswell’s best known seniors!

Photo credit: Ellie Brill

Daisy’s Doodle of the Day

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by Daisy Perez