Report Coaching and Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP)

1 | P a g e Coaching and NLP (c) Noble Manhattan Coaching Ltd


This report explores the relationship between Coaching and Neuro Linguistic

Programming (NLP). What is Coaching? What is Neuro Linguistic

Programming? What are the presuppositions of NLP? Where does NLP

come from? What are the foundation stones of Coaching? How is Coaching

enhanced by the use of NLP?

Introduction

NLP fascinates me. I am currently at Practitioner level and enjoy

incorporating NLP techniques in my coaching practice and, it is for this reason,

that I want to explore the relationship between coaching and NLP in my thesis.

This is not a definitive study between the two professions as I am still learning

but I would like to take time to explore the ways in which NLP can be used in

coaching sessions with Clients.

My experience to date shows that NLP accelerates the results for Clients

within coaching and that NLP techniques add an exciting dimension to change

and bridging the gap between where the Client is now and where they want to

be. Sometimes, as a Coach, you can feel ‘stuck’ as to what coaching skill to

deploy effectively and, for me, NLP is a great tool to use with Clients. By

suggesting a totally different way of approaching a ‘situation’, you immediately

move the Client out of being ‘stuck’ and into a more ‘flexible’ frame of mind.

When you encourage Clients to bring all their sensory modes into operation,

the process of change has begun without them actually realising it. The

desired outcome is invariable positive and less hard work than the Client had

originally thought and can bring about incredible transformations.

It might sound odd but NLP is playful and, at times, lighthearted. It can have

an amazing impact that gets right to the heart of the matter. Joseph O’Connor

in his ‘NLP Workbook’, I think, agrees when he says that “NLP is a way of

thinking, a frame of mind based on curiosity, exploration and fun”.


What is Coaching?

“CoActive Coaching” by Laura Whitworth, Henry KimseyHouse and Phil

Sandahl for defines coaching as “a powerful alliance designed to forward and

enhance the lifelong process of human learning, effectiveness and fulfilment”.

You almost have to experience coaching to understand how unique and

special the ClientCoach relationship can be because coaching creates a

relational synergy. Together the Coach and Client define needs, wants,

ambitions and desires in an atmosphere of trust where the Client feels free to

discuss anything he or she wants.

Curly Martin in ‘The Life Coaching Handbook’ stresses “the job of the Life

Coach is to get results – results, result and nothing but results!” She also

adds that coaching is not about advising your Clients – the Coach’s strength

lies in allowing your Clients to find the answers for themselves”.

Coaches who are nondirectional do not tell, advise or suggest to Clients what

they ‘should’ do, but through questioning and listening to raise awareness,

draw out from them the solutions that lie within them.

I like Tim Gallway’s coaching formula that he talks about in ‘The Inner Game

of Tennis’ when he says that “Potential minus Interference equals

Performance” and it is the job of a Coach to help a Client identify the

interference and remove it!

Clients come to coaching because they want to move forward in their lives

and Coaches work with Clients to enable them to overcome their blocks, to

help them realise their potential and to become the person that they are

capable of being.


What is Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP)?

The great thing about NLP is that there is no one set definition! It is

constantly evolving and contributors to the field quote differently themselves.

For example, Robert Dilts says “NLP is whatever works!” John Grinder says

that “NLP is an accelerated learning strategy for the detection and utilization

of patterns in the world”. Richard Bandler says that “NLP is an attitude and a

methodology, which leave behind a trail of techniques”.

NLP trainers often tell stories as a means of conveying a message. Here is

one about NLP:

A boy asked his mother, “What’s NLP?”

His mother said, “I will tell you in a moment, but first you have to do something

so you can understand. See your granddad over there in his chair?”

“Yep”, said the boy.

“Go and ask him how his arthritis is today”.

The boy went over to his grandfather. “Granddad”, he said, “how’s your

arthritis today?”

“Oh, it’s a bit bad, son”, replied the old man. “It’s always worse in damp

weather. I can hardly move my fingers today”. A look of pain crossed his

face.

The boy went back to his mother. “He said it was bad. I think it hurts him.

Are you going to tell me what NLP is now?”

“In a minute, I promise”, replied his mother. “Now go over and ask Granddad

what was the funniest thing that you did when you were very young”.

The boy went over to his grandfather, “Granddad”, he began, “What’s the

funniest thing I ever did when I was very young?”

The old man’s face lit up. “Oh”, he smiled, “there were lots of things. There

was the time when you and your friend played Father Christmas and sprinkled

talcum powder all over the bathroom pretending it was snow. I laughed – but

I didn’t have to clean it up”. He stared into the distance with a smile.


“Then there was the time I took you out for a walk. It was a lovely day and

you were singing a nursery rhyme you had just learned. Loudly. A man went

past and gave you a nasty look. He thought you were being too noisy. He

asked me to tell you to be quiet. You turned round and said to him, “If you

don’t like me singing, you can go and boil your head”. And carried on even

louder …” The old man chuckled.

The boy went back to his mother. “Did you hear what Granddad said?” he

asked.

“Yes”, his mother replied. “You changed how he felt with a few words. That’s

NLP”.

While this is by no means a complete description of what NLP is, it does

illustrate how you can help someone change their state and, in NLP,

calibrating the ‘state’ of a Client and eliciting a change of ‘state’ is essential to

a firm understanding of NLP and allows us an insight into the models of how

individuals structure their unique experiences of life.

What are the Presuppositions of NLP?

The development of NLP has resulted in a number of presuppositions. These

include:

1. The map is not the territory – whatever the world is like we use our

senses to explore and map it. The sort of map you make depends on

what you notice and where you want to go.

2. There is no failure, only feedback.

3. The mind and body affect each other.

4. You are in charge of your mind and therefore of your results.

5. People have all the resources that they need to make the changes that

they want.

6. It is better to increase your number of choices.

7. If what you are doing isn’t working – do something different.

8. The meaning of the communication is the response you get.

9. Respect other people’s model of the world.


10.Language does not describe reality. It is a result of an external

stimulus, followed by a personal internal representation.

11.The person with the most flexible behaviour will control the outcome of

an interaction.

12.The highest quality information about other people is their behaviour.

13.A person’s behaviour in a given situation is the best choice available to

them.

14.A person’s behaviour is contextual and is not their self or identity.

15.There is no such thing as a resistant client – only a lack of rapport.

What are the Origins of NLP?

NLP covers three main areas:

• Neurology the mind and how we think

• Linguistic how we use language and how it affects us

• Programming how we sequence our actions to achieve our goals.

Going back to its origins NLP has an intellectual history and philosophical

basis and an understanding of this enables you to see where the NLP

presuppositions have come from.

Major influences on NLP have come from various schools of thought including

Pragmatism, Constructivism, General Semantics, Person Centred Therapy,

Transactional Analysis, the Tote Model, Cybernetics, System Theory, Gestalt

Theory, Ericksonian Hypnotherapy and the work of Virginia Satir.

It was the work of John Grinder and Richard Bandler in the 1970s who

specifically created NLP and they spent time studying and modelling the work

of the different schools of thought.

The theory of Pragmatism, devised by the American philosopher and

psychologist William James, looked at what it was like to be inside an


experience. James’ work is probably the closely forerunner of how NLP deals

with time lines because he spoke about the subjective experience of time

The Constructivist argument says that we each make our own map of reality

because we experience the world through our senses – what we see, hear

and feel. Also, our culture, values, expectations, preoccupations and society

Filter what and how we experience reality. We are responsible for how we

perceive and how we act on our perceptions.

General Semantics, founded by Alfred Korzbyski, coined one of NLP’s

presuppositions, “the map is not the territory”, that is, our words are far more

limited than the experience itself. He said that, as individuals, we make maps

of reality with our language and then take that map for reality itself.

Korzybski’s work was further developed by George Lakoff and Mark Johnson

who developed the idea that all language speaks in metaphors and that we

can only speak of what things are like, and not exactly how things are. NLP

often takes language literally as a clue to the thought process behind it.

NLP absorbed the work of Carl Rogers and Person Centred Therapy that all

listening should be nonjudgemental and that the Client’s language should be

reflected back to them as a way of exploring their beliefs and presuppositions

to lead to an understanding and a resolution of their problem.

Transactional Analysis from Eric Berne introduced the idea that people have

three principal ‘parts’ of their personality that think and react differently, that is,

the ‘parent’, ‘adult’ and ‘child’. Grinder and Bandler studied videotapes of

Berne doing psychotherapy and took for NLP the metaphor of ‘personality

parts’. This idea is useful in NLP terms because people often feel ‘split’ by

conflicting desires and emotions and exploring ‘parts’ is a useful way of

dealing with problems and difficult decisions.


The TOTE model, introduced in the 1960s, says we act to reduce difference

between a present state and a desired one. It is still used in NLP because it

NLP is a cybernetic model, that is, the results on one action are fed back into

the system and used as the basis for the next action.

The four people who had the most influence on the development of NLP were

Gregory Bateson, Friedric Perls, Milton Erickson and Virginia Satir.

Bateson was an English anthropologist but his work touched on many fields

including ethnology, psychiatry, psychology, cybernetics and systems theory

and his writings form the intellectual basis for NLP.

Fritz Perls was originally trained as a psychoanalyst and went on to develop

Gestalt Therapy which proposed that people should trust their own instincts

and enjoy their experience. He believed in the integration of mind and

emotions and personal growth.

Like Perls, Virginia Satir used a person’s senses (their representational

systems) of visual, auditory and kinaesthetic, in therapy to help clients

experience solutions to their problems. She was a family therapist whose

work concentrated on increasing selfesteem and understanding the point of

view of other people. She worked closely with John Grinder and Richard

Bandler in the early seventies.

Milton Erickson’s background was in medicine and psychology and he went

on to become a hypnotherapist. He was fascinated by the uniqueness of

every person and how they were able to do what they did so he let the Clients

dictate the form of therapy rather than using a systematic approach. Bandler

and Grinder modelled his work and Erickson’s language patterns are taught in

NLP as the Milton Model.


What are the cornerstones of Coaching?

“CoActive Coaching” defines the four cornerstones of coaching as:

1. The Client is naturally creative, resourceful and whole.

2. Coaching addresses the Client’s whole life.

3. The agenda comes from the Client.

4. The relationship is a designed alliance.

Within this, “CoActive Coaching” refers to the five contexts of coaching as:

• Listening

• Intuition

• Curiosity

• Action / Learning

• SelfManagement

Coaching skills typically used include:

o Articulating

o Clarifying

o Metaview

o Metaphor

o Acknowledging

“CoActive Coaching” also identifies other coaching techniques used and

these include requesting, brainstorming, intrusion, asking permission, bottom

lining, championing, clearing, reframing, challenging, telling and demanding,

Inquiry assignment, learning from failure as from success and ‘noticing,

recognising and naming the gremlin so it begins to loose its power’.


Coaching Models

There are various coaching models in use, two popular ones being the

TGROW and the ICANDO models.

TRGOW stands for Topic, Goal, Reality, Options, Way Forward.

ICANDO stands for Investigate, Current Situation, Overall Aims, Number of

Options, Date, Outcome.

The Coach’s place in either model is to create an environment in which

Clients are able to focus entirely on their fulfilment, balance and process.

Within each session, a particular goal or aim is highlighted and the Coach

uses different techniques to elicit Client awareness so that the Client can find

their own answers.

An Effective Coach

“CoActive Coaching” refers to the “effective coach” as having the ability to

“dance in the moment”, that is, there is no preset formula to follow but rather

the Coach must wait to hear the Client’s response before deciding in which

direction to move the conversation forward. The Coach must keep on his or

her toes “to move gracefully into the next question or to employ a coaching

skill”.

Ø An Effective Coach Needs Listening Skills

An effective Coach listens equally to the words that the Client is saying as

well as to those which are unsaid. In coaching, you are taught that there are

three levels of listening – the first is typical of a normal conversation where

both parties share viewpoints, the second is focused listening whereby the

Coach focuses exclusively on what the Client is saying, and, the third is global

listening in which the Coach picks up on emotion, body language and the


environment itself. This includes the sensory data as well as mood, pace and

energy.

A coach needs to be able to listen actively and this involves clarifying what the

Client says, noticing body language, being aware of the feelings behind the

words and being sensitive to the context of the conversation. A Coach takes

in the information, responds and notices the impact on the Client. A Coach

has to be able to read the impact they are having on the Client and adjust his

or her own behaviour accordingly.

Ø An Effective Coach Needs Intuition

When a Coach listens at level three this is listening with true awareness. This

involves trusting our own intuition and operating at a subconscious level and

being aware of our own gut feelings, thoughts and hunches.

Ø An Effective Coach Needs to be Curious

“CoActive Coaching” states that “the coach’s job is to ask questions –

powerful questions that break through old defences”. A Coach has to be

curious to be interested in focusing at level three on one person for a period of

time. The task as a Coach is to encourage the Client as well to become

curious about him or herself in a safe and confidential environment. If a

Coach’s curiosity can help raise a Client’s selfawareness that, in turn, raises

his or her own selfdisclosure, this is a powerful step on the path to change.

Ø An Effective Coach Needs to Promote a Client’s Action and

Learning

“CoActive Coaching” stresses that the purpose of the coaching conversation

is “to forward the action and deepen the learning”. The TGROW model is a

useful coaching tool in that it enables a discussion to take place about the

way forward for a Client. After the goal has been set and the reality of the

situation explored, options are encouraged which lead to an actionplanning


stage. These should be SMART – that, is, specific, measurable, achievable,

realistic and timeoriented. Coaches should seek a level of commitment from

a Client which encompasses commitment, intention and motivation. This is

often done on a scale of 110, and taken that change will take place if the

Client rates their scoring as a 7 or above.

In subsequent coaching sessions, it is valuable to review progress to help a

Client learn more about themselves and how they could be more effective in

helping themselves achieve their goals. This might lead to the use of other

coaching techniques to help a Client move forward, such as a review of

values and beliefs as well as other issues, such as the wheel of life, what

drains a Client, looking at daily habits, timemanagement, gremlinclarification

and saying yes – saying no.

Ø An Effective Coach Needs to Manage Themselves

A Coach’s ability to manage him or herself is more than just the ability to lead

a coaching session. I like the quote by Laura Whitworth in ‘CoActive

Coaching’ that says, “in order to truly hold the Client’s agenda, the Coach

must get out of the way”! This means that a Coach must not bring their own

issues or their own map of the world into a coaching session, rather the

Coach is there 100% for the Client. It is important for a Coach to be coached

themselves as this not only sets a good example to the Client, but enables a

Coach to learn more about their own selfawareness.

Ø Other Effective Coaching Skills: Articulating, Clarifying, Metaview,

Metaphor, Acknowledging

Although I have put these coaching skills together they are important in their

own right. Articulation is the ability of a Coach to describe in a succinct

manner what is going on and to mirror back to the Client what they have just

said to you. It is a skill which affirms the Client. Sometimes, just to hear back

to us what we have said is all we need to lead to greater selfawareness.

Clarifying is allied closely to this because it is a means of checking


understanding and it is essential that a Coach never assumes what a Client

has meant.

Metaview opens up the big picture for a Client and enables a Client to see

themselves or their situation in a new light. Sometimes, a different

perspective is all that it needs to facilitate a different thought process in a

Client that then leads on to the Client giving themselves permission to change

or to do something differently. Metaphors are a wonderful technique to use

with Clients because, although they are expressed in words, they draw on

imagery and experience to help a Client comprehend more quickly and easily.

Sometimes the truth for a Client is in their heart or in their gut and not in their

mind. Metaphors allow the meaning to be more expansive than the literal

meaning of the individual words used.

Clients come to coaching because they realise there is a gap between where

they want to be and where they are now. It takes courage to open up to

another person and to make changes in one’s own life. It is, therefore, so

important to acknowledge this and to praise a Client for being themselves, for

being honest and open, for wanting to move forward towards their dreams

and goals. Also, it is important to acknowledge a Client for trying and not

always succeeding as there is always learning in action. I find that when I

acknowledge my Clients, although I might not see them because we are

speaking on the phone, I can detect a movement / a change in them, as

though through my simple acknowledgement of who they are, it has helped to

increase their selfesteem. It also gives a Client encouragement to continue

on their journey and this is so important within coaching as Clients can often

experience setbacks on their path to what they want in life.

How is Coaching enhanced by the use of NLP?

NLP explores how your thoughts (neuro) are affected by words (linguistic)

leading to action (programming). If the presuppositions of NLP are combined


with the cornerstones of coaching, this makes for a powerful combination and

gives both the Coach and Client added resources for eliciting change.

In my opinion, the use of NLP can enhance coaching in the following ways:

• Managing your own state as a Coach

• Enhancing rapport with a Client

• Monitoring a Client’s state

• Understanding a Client’s view of the world

• Changing a Client’s state

• Improving questioning skills

• Coaching at an unconscious level

• Setting goals with Clients

• Helping Clients deal with difficult and ‘stuck’ issues

• Replacing a Client’s selflimiting beliefs with empowering ones

• Identifying the level at which Clients need to make changes

• Managing your own and a Client’s learning

• Increasing problemsolving tools and strategies for Clients

MANAGING YOUR OWN STATE AS A COACH

In coaching, it is important to focus 100% on a Client. This means leaving

behind your own issues, concerns, judgements and prejudices. NLP helps

you learn how to manage your own ‘state’. This means having a good

awareness of your own being, that is, your physiology, your thinking and your

emotions so that you are better able to put them aside when coaching. If you

are aware of your ‘ideal coaching state’ you can make sure you are in this

state when working with Clients.

ENHANCING RAPPORT WITH A CLIENT

There are verbal and nonverbal ways of communicating. Using nonverbal

techniques of matching, mirroring, pacing and leading as well as crossover


matching, you can build and maintain rapport with a Client. In coaching you

use these rapport skills and NLP takes this further by increasing the detail at

which rapport can be built and maintained.

In ‘Influencing with Integrity’, Genie Laborde describes “unconscious visible

responses” which should also be noticed and this includes changes in skin

colour, facial muscles, the lower lip and breathing. She says you should

notice these changes, not to make judgements about your Client, but to

increase your sensory skills from ‘awareness’ to ‘acuity’ as well as to increase

your choice of building rapport.

Other ways in which NLP helps you to enhance rapport with a Client is

through noticing the use of a Client’s language. Every person has a preferred

style of communication and this revolves around the senses of sight, sound,

touch, taste and smell. Our language reveals our preferred senses through

the use of words. Observing this particular ‘sensory acuity’ is a basic skill in

NLP and helps immensely with coaching.

Recognising a Client’s preferred predicate, ie. sensorybased words, allows

the Client to feel that he or she is communicating well with the Coach and this

makes it easier for the Client to disclose information about him or herself. If,

as Coaches, we have the ability to do this, Clients will feel more comfortable

talking to us and this will help build trust and strengthen the coaching alliance.

In NLP, one of the presuppositions is that “there is no resistant client, only a

lack of rapport” and this means that it is the responsibility of the practitioner /

coach to build a good relationship with a Client.

MONITORING A CLIENT’S STATE BY NOTICING THEIR PHYSIOLOGY

In NLP there is a model of communication which says that if a Client thinks

differently, he or she will also act differently (and vice versa). In coaching, it

is important to be observant and NLP helps you understand how the mind


processes information and how this manifests itself by changes at the

physiological level.

The NLP presupposition that the mind and body affect each other encourages

the Coach using NLP to work holistically with a Client. A ‘shift’ in a Client’s

physiology indicates that their internal processing of information, ie. his or her

thinking, has also altered.

Through the study of NLP the Coach becomes more tuned into eliciting and

calibrating states in Clients and that there are more ways of just working with

a Client other than communicating through words. Actions play a large part

as well.

Another way NLP helps Coaches to notice what is happening with Clients is

through the use of eye accessing clues. By observing the direction of a

Client’s eye movements, you can pick up on the kind of thinking that is going

on and whether someone is thinking in a visual, auditory or kinaesthetic way.

This is often backed up through other body language signals such as the tone,

volume and pitch of our voice.

UNDERSTANDING A CLENT’S VIEW OF THE WORLD

Most people listen at a superficial level. Coaching trains you to listen on a

global level, that is, with your senses. NLP takes this further by giving you an

increased understanding of the meaning of a Client’s use of language through

submodality work, that is, the smallest building blocks of thoughts that reveal

more details about how a person sees, hears and feels.

Knowledge of submodalities can increase a Coach’s effectiveness in helping

a Client change. Examples of submodalities in the visual field include colour,

brightness, size. Auditory submodality examples include, for example, tone,

pitch, volume and, kinaesthetic submodalities include such things as texture

and temperature. Submodalities also exist within taste and smell but the main

ones that NLP emphasizes are visual, auditory and kinaesthetic.


Learning about the NLP presupposition that “language does not describe

reality” also enhances a Coach’s skill in communicating with a Client. This is

because our language is less rich than the way our senses experience life

and we have to use filters of deletion, distortion and generalisation to help us

communicate with others. This explains why a Coach should never make

assumptions because each person creates their own meaning of a word and

an experience.

A Coach who appreciates that it is really important to understand a Client’s

view of the world and the reasons behind this, will, in my opinion, be a more

effective Coach. We each have our own reality which is a result of an

external stimulus, followed by our own personal internal representation and

when we coach we need to put our own map of reality to one side to be fully

present in the Client’s.

CHANGING A CLIENT’S STATE

Coaching is connected to helping Clients make changes in their lives and, as

individuals, we are all able to manage these better if we are in a resourceful

state. Anchoring is a process of learning to hold on to emotional states that

are crucial to our outcomes. We all have natural anchors but, at times, we

need techniques to help us be more effective. Using anchors with our Clients

helps them to tap into their inner potential and choose the best emotional

state to suit their circumstances.

Working with an individual’s submodalities, a Coach using NLP, can create a

range of anchors to increase a Client’s ability to “lead” him or herself. There

are many different ways of using anchors but, as O’Connor and Seymour say

in “Introducing NeuroLinguistic Programming”, the importance of anchoring is

that is “enables us to increase our emotional freedom by escaping from the

tyranny of past negative experiences and creating more positive ones”.


HELPING WITH QUESTIONING SKILLS

Good coaches pay attention to questioning skills because the right question

can make all the difference. When a Client responds to a question there are

often different questions a Coach can ask in return. NLP helps you decide

which question to ask because you have a greater understanding of language,

how people process information and the effect that certain types of questions

might have on Clients so you can choose your questions with more

confidence and care.

In terms of questions, NLP also helps you, as a Coach, maintain rapport with

your Client as you ask questions. You can do this by noticing the Client’s

state and representational systems, that is, the preferred sensorybased

words the Client is using, and asking questions that reflect the Client’s words

back to them. At its simplest, Clients often talk in terms of what they think,

feel, see, etc, and it is good practice as a Coach to use these words in the

questions we ask back to the Client.

NLP can also enhance a Coach’s technique by exploring further the use of

language. The linguist, Noam Chomsky, identified different layers of

language – from surface to deep – and a Coach needs to be aware of this in

order to ask questions that help to recover information which a Client has

filtered through a process of ‘deletion’, ‘distortion’ or ‘generalisation’.

The surface structure is everything we say, either to ourselves or to others,

and the deep structure is the underlying meaning of what we say, containing

information neither expressed nor known consciously

In NLP, a distortion is when you change an experience and make it different in

some way. A deletion is when you miss out a portion of an experience and a

generalisation is when one specific experience comes to represent a whole

class or group of experiences.


Chunking is another NLP language technique that is helpful in forming

coaching questions. You can chunk up, down and sideways. Chunking up is

connected to the Milton Model and chunking down is connected to the Meta

Model. Sideways chunking relates to metaphors that Clients use to make

sense of their experience. In coaching this is a valuable technique because

through the use of metaphors a Client’s mind is opened to many possible

meanings from the one they originally had.

COACHING AT AN UNCONSCIOUS LEVEL

Sue Knight in her book “NLP At Work” explains clearly how the power of the

voice and the influence of language help with coaching skills. She says: “Our

conscious minds are obedient to commands – we seek out the commands in

a sentence and ignore the rest”. Telling someone, “Don’t worry”, will not stop

that person from worrying because the unconscious responds to indirect

rather than direct communication!

Familiarity with the Milton Model, so named by John Grinder and Richard

Bandler from modelling the hypnotherapist Milton Erickson, illustrates the

importance of the use of our words and the manner in which they are said to

our Clients.

Understanding this helps us be more effective Coaches and gives us the

ability to pace and lead our Clients using “artfully vague language” in order to

access the unconscious mind and distract and utilise the conscious mind.

As O’Connor says in “Introducing NLP”, the Milton Model “follows the way the

mind works naturally …. you are highly motivated to learn from your

unconscious in an inner directed way. You do not tell a Client what to do;

rather you direct his or her attention to what is there”.


SETTING GOALS

Coaching stresses the importance of goal setting and the TGROW model

endorses this approach. Some goals Clients wish to achieve may take a short

or long time and sometimes a goal changes along the way. What is crucial is

that a goal is set so that the Client has a direction to follow and the coaching

process takes account of reviewing goals and learning.

NLP is a really useful tool with goal setting because it encourages Clients to

use their senses in the process. This is referred to as a wellformed outcome.

Genie Z Labordie in “Influencing with Integrity” says that by using the senses

in this way, it “impacts significantly on your thinking process: what you think

about are the pictures, words, or feelings you have selected. You will notice

what is available in your immediate environment and among past experiences

to assist you.”

There is a series of twentyone questions which you can go through with

Clients in forming outcomes. These questions cover the senses, negative

and positive consequences and synaesthaesia. Synaesthaeisa questions

make the brain work at processing information and include:

• What would happen if you did get that outcome?

• What would happen if you didn’t get that outcome

• What wouldn’t happen if you did get that outcome?

• What wouldn’t happen if you didn’t get that outcome?

As a Coach, you can use a great NLP technique to consolidate wellformed

outcomes by the process of “future pacing”. This involves mentally rehearsing

an outcome so that it is more compelling and selffulfilling for a Client. This

can be done on a timeline, that is, the line that connects our past with our

future and the ‘place’ we store pictures, sounds and feelings of our past and

future.


MOTIVATING CLIENTS

Clients often come to coaching because they need greater accountability in

their lives to achieve their goals and they look to the Coach to help them find

ways of fulfilling their dreams. Through the use of the Metal Model, if a Coach

can learn to identify the motivation traits of a Client and, in turn, speak in the

Client’s own personal style, the Coach will be more influential in helping a

Client to help themselves.

Shelle Rose Charvet in her book “Words that Change Minds” says that the

important point in helping Clients motivate themselves is to listen to “how

people answer, instead of what they say. In this way, after asking a few

simple questions, you can determine what will trigger and maintain someone’s

motivation and how they internally process information”.

People have different patterns of what motivates them. One pattern is

“toward” and “away from”. So, for example, Client A is motivated to achieve

a goal by sorting out the problems (away from) and Client B is motivated to

achieve the same goal by the reward at the end (towards).

In coaching both Clients you would raise different issues with each, thereby

reflecting their own use of motivating language and concerns and you would

need to be careful not to stereotype Clients as individual patterns vary

depending on the context.

DEALING WITH DIFFICULT ISSUES / HELPING CLIENTS BECOME

‘UNSTUCK’

I think NLP offers imaginative solutions to coaching Clients when they stumble

across difficult and unresolved issues. As long as you are confident that

coaching rather than counselling is appropriate, there are a variety of NLP

techniques that you could consider using. These include swish, disassociated

/ associated, visualisation, timelines and eye movement integration.


If a Client is finding change difficult, such as giving up smoking, dieting, etc,

the use of swish can replace unwanted behaviour or habits in favour or new

ones and the NLP Coach works with a Client’s submodalities to elicit change.

If a Client finds revisiting an experience difficult or painful, the NLP technique

of helping a Client disassociate their emotions from the experience is really

useful and can help with deepseated fears such as phobias.

In NLP, time is experienced subjectively as distance and each person has

their own individual timeline of the past, present and future. In coaching you

can use timelines to help Clients resolve issues in the past as a way forward

to a more compelling future, to access resources and to organise their lives.

Eye movement integration is a simple, clever NLP technique that helps

Clients identify where they are stuck on a particular issue and helps them deal

with it in a different and nonverbal way. The Coach metaphorically ‘holds’ the

Client’s problem while the Coach moves his / her hand through the visual,

auditory and kinaesthetic eye movements until the Client’s gaze remains

steady throughout. This enables the Client to bring many different resources

and ways of thinking to bear on a problem in different and creative

combinations.

CHANGING BELIEFS

In coaching, your Client’s goals are more likely to be achieved if their values

are in alignment with their beliefs. An important part of coaching is helping a

Client discover what their values are and what beliefs are needed in order to

help a Client succeed with their outcomes. Often selflimiting beliefs hold

Clients back with managing change and NLP helps Coaches work with

changing a Client’s selflimiting beliefs.

Using NLP, there are various ways of working with beliefs. Several of these

models involve the splitting up of a belief to identify different components

which are holding a Client back. For example, one such model splits a belief


into “realist – critic – dreamer”; another one has different categories such as,

“old limiting belief – positive purpose – redefine – new empowering belief”.

These are particularly effective because they help a Client break down a

problem or belief into more manageable chunks. Also, using these

techniques allow a Client’s unconscious mind to come to the fore in creating

positive solutions.

IDENTIFYING THE LEVEL AT WHICH CHANGE NEEDS TO TAKE PLACE

I really like the impact that Robert Dilts has made on NLP. His model of

neurological levels is masterful and really helps a Coach work with a Client to

identify the level at which change needs to take place. His model is

straightforward and easily explained to Clients.

At the core of Dilt’s model is spirituality/identity, followed by beliefs/values,

capabilities, behaviour and then environment. As a Coach, you can work with

a Client by separating these levels and asking Clients questions which relate

directly to each one, thereby gathering useful information to help with change

work.

Dilt’s model illustrates how change can take place at different levels but that if

you can make a change at one of the inner levels such as identity and

beliefs/values, this will in turn change all the other outer levels and have

greater impact.

MANAGING YOUR OWN AND A CLIENT’S LEARNING

Coaching is concerned with managing a Client’s action and learning and NLP

offers useful insights into this process. NLP says that learning takes the form

of four steps from unconscious incompetence, conscious incompetence,

conscious competence to unconscious competence.


NLP offers other valuable learning models as a Coach that you can use with

Clients such as “selfdevelopment” and ‘generative learning’. “Self

development” is helping Clients to understand the link between acting

differently, thinking differently and feeling differently. “Generative learning” is

taking into account your beliefs and assumptions when reviewing and making

decisions. If you can incorporate this feedback into your own learning model,

you will gain more as a result.

Another great NLP technique for a Coach is perceptual positions. This

involves looking at other people’s points of view to aid understanding to any

given situation. There are 1 st , 2 nd and 3 rd positions, the 1 st being your own

viewpoint, the 2 nd of the other person and the 3 rd being an objective observer.

Taking note of these different learning models relate to many of the NLP

presuppositions such as increasing flexibility, there is no such thing as failure

– only feedback, respecting other people’s model of the world and a person’s

behaviour is contextual and reflects the best choice available to them.

PROBLEMSOLVING TOOLS

People often come for coaching because they have problems they cannot

solve easily. The Coach, trained in NLP, will look for the difference that will

make the difference to help the Client find the solution and become more self

reliant.

NLP is concerned with modelling – that is, the process of ‘how’ rather than

‘why’. As Sue Knight in “NLP At Work” says, “If someone can do it, anyone

can do it.” By decoding a Client’s successful strategies, you can coach

someone to learn how to put these effective techniques into play for other

situations.

Knight also refers to the point that, “We are creatures of habit. Our lives

follow patterns ….. It is our patterns in thinking and behaving that create our


response to circumstances, not the circumstances themselves……look within

to uncover and review those patterns that are making our lives what they are”.

I think NLP has the most wonderful range of problemsolving tools and

strategies to help Clients in a coaching context. I also think they help Clients

look for ethical solutions to their problems because NLP is not just concerned

with the individual outcome but looks at how your decisions impact on others.

Conclusion

NLP encourages a Coach to look beyond the words of a Client, not to mind

read, but to explore a Client’s physiology and senses, to understand better a

Client’s map of the world – effectively, their perception of reality. NLP

believes that, like in coaching, a Client is creative, resourceful and whole and

lends itself to the task that if something a Client is doing is not working, it is

better to make changes to reach the desired outcome.

Likewise, it is the Client who determines what they want and NLP has many

tools at its disposal to help a Client find out what they are searching for and

the means to help them achieve their ends. Using the power of the

unconscious mind helps a Client realize goals in compelling ways. Working

with a Client’s value and belief system encourages Clients to believe that they

can achieve their outcomes.

I think one of the powerful presuppositions of NLP is that a person’s behaviour

is not their identity or self – rather all behaviour is contextual – so NLP works

on different levels to help Client’s discover where their issues are and, therein,

where the solutions lie. NLP helps a Coach work in detail with a Client to

isolate problems which a Client may be experiencing and help them find the

resources within them to lead to a more desirable state.

Likewise, with coaching, the relationship is a designed alliance because the

Coach and NLP practitioner act as facilitators to change. It is through

respecting a Client’s model of the world and through the use of skilled


questioning and listening that Clients are able to grow in selfawareness that

leads to change.

In my opinion, NLP makes coaching more fun, more effective and increases

your own learning as well. A great combination!

Bibliography

CoActive Coaching, Laura Whitworth, Henry KimseyHouse, Phil Sandahl,

The Life Coaching Handbook, Curly Martin, Crown House Publishing, 2001

The Tao of Coaching, Max Landsberg, Harper Collins, 1996

NLP At Work, Sue Knight, Nichols Brealey Publishing, 2002

The Structure of Magic 1, Richard Bandler/John Grinder, Science and Behaviour Books, 1975

Introducing NLP, Joseph O’Connor and John Seymour, Thorsons, 1995

Way of NLP, Joseph O’Connor and Ian McDermott, Thorsons, 2001

Influencing with Integrity, Genie Z Laborde, Crown House, 2003

Words that Change Minds, Shelle Rose Charvet, Kendall / Hunt, 1995

Using Your Brain for a Change, Richard Bandler, Real People Press, 1985

The NLP Workbook, Joseph O’Connor, Thorsons, 2002


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Documents

Report Coaching and Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP)