REMINDERS:

Grades for the midterm will be posted soon. To review your exam, attend Natalie’s office hours. Dr. K does not have the exams.

The paper is due May 19th. Now is a great time to start it. Must be turned in as hard copy.

This week’s video segment is especially good!

Psychology 137C: Psychology 137C: Intimate RelationshipsIntimate Relationships Week 6, Lecture 1: Week 6, Lecture 1:

Managing Differences, Part Managing Differences, Part II

A Few Words about the A Few Words about the PaperPaper

Goal:

Use sections of the book to address a review question about intimacy and modern families.

Choose a question that interests you!

5 double-spaced pages

Explicit instructions in your syllabus

Make it neat. Proof-read your work.

Make it interesting. Please!

The Mystery of Conflict The Mystery of Conflict in Couplesin Couples

Consider what everyone wants from their intimate relationships.

Consider what everyone knows about how we should treat our intimate partners.

So how is it that we get into our worst, meanest, loudest, most hostile fights with the people we love the most?

When divorce rates climbed in the 1960s, couples therapy became more acceptable.

The big complaint? Conflict.

Social learning theorists assumed that mismanaged conflict was a primary cause of relationship distress.

Clinicians as a driving force.

They studied conflict and developed treatments based on this assumption.

The History of Studying The History of Studying Couple ConflictCouple Conflict

What IS Conflict?What IS Conflict?

““Conflict arises when one person pursues Conflict arises when one person pursues his or her goals and in doing so his or her goals and in doing so interferesinterferes with the other person’s goals. … with the other person’s goals. … ResponsesResponses to this interference can vary in to this interference can vary in many ways.”many ways.”

SO:- In every intimate relationship, some conflict is inevitable.

- What matters is how we respond to conflict situations.

- Social learning theory focuses on this question.

Kurt Lewin

1890-1947

The cross-sectional question: What exactly is it that unhappy couples

are doing wrong?

The longitudinal question: What behaviors predict the future

outcome of the relationship?

The Research AgendaThe Research Agenda

Self-reports proved inadequate quickly.

Learning to observe couples was key.

The typical observational conflict paradigm:

Locate happy and unhappy couples. Ask each spouse to identify a topic. Record their discussion for a few minutes. Compare observations of happy and unhappy

couples.

Methods: How to study Methods: How to study conflict?conflict?

Deciding what to code

Affect vs. verbal content Non-verbal behavior Sequences

Microanalytic vs. global coding

Behaviors as choices from a menu

Getting reliability is hard.

Observational CodingObservational Coding

Unhappy couples are more negative with each other than happy couples. (No big surprise.)

Some subtleties: Kitchen-sinking Self-summarizing Presumptive attributions (i.e., mindreading) Cross-complaining Prescription

So what are unhappy So what are unhappy couples doing wrong?couples doing wrong?

Unhappy couples are more rigid and predictable.

Negative reciprocity Unhappy couples take longer to exit negative

exchanges.

Happy wives, in particular, follow partner negatives with neutral behaviors.

Free advice: Do not be the one to convert a neutral behavior

into a negative behavior!!

Negative Patterns and Negative Patterns and SequencesSequences

Do we ever reinforce each other’s negative behaviors?

A case study: The demand/withdraw pattern

Social learning in action!

Escape ConditioningEscape Conditioning

Negative behaviors should predict negative outcomes, right?

Some weird results: Gottman & Krokoff, 1989 Karney & Bradbury, 1997

Is it ever productive to get angry?

Predicting the FuturePredicting the Future

172 newlywed couples, first marriages

Dependent Variable: Slope, or rate of change in satisfaction over 4 years.

Independent Variable: Positive vs. negative affectPositive vs. negative content

Content & Affect & Content & Affect & SlopesSlopes

Couples who are negative will experience faster declines in marital quality …

But only when humor, interest, and affection are relatively rare.

Positive emotion can override the effects of negative content during conflict.

What do humor, interest, and affection contribute to our conversations? What is the message? What is the impact of this message?

So, what predicts the So, what predicts the future?future?