PORTF

OLIO

BY: BR I T

TA N Y BE L L

SHORT STORY. MENTION A DOG.When I was 5, I had a babysitter named Tammy. There were other babysitters too—but Tammy was my

favorite. She’d do my hair, play games with me and my little brother, Jordan, and even make us macaroni and cheese. And let me tell you, hers was awesome and cheesy and buttery and scrumptious.

When summer came around, Tammy decided to take a walk with Jordan and me around the neighborhood. I was thrilled. I got to hang out with a big kid and show her off to all my neighbor friends. We passed a house or two, and were almost to my best friend’s house. We were so close. Just a few yards away.

I never made it.BOOM. My little body collapsed to the ground as if I got hit by a car. And then, as I came back to reality, I

realized it was not a car at all. A giant, slobbering, fang-toothed dog was on top of me barking his snout off. And there was poor little me, an innocent and blonde 5-year-old, crying and crying and crying.

When the dog owner finally got a hold of his mutt (I actually love dogs anyways, I have a little nug called Cooper), my babysitter picked me up and brushed me off. Her face was white and her eyes were petrified.

When we got home, she made up what happened with the dog incident by making me her special mac n’ cheese. I had one bowl, she had one. Then she had two. Then three, and four. Ten minutes later, she was puking her brains out in the toilet.

That was the last day Tammy babysat me.

SCARLET

OUR LOVE, IT ISN ’T P INK OR RED. IT ’S SCARLET PASS ION. IT ’S ADDICT ION.

LOVE LETTER

TAKE A WALK OUTSIDE AND WRITE ABOUT SOMETHING YOU SEE….

Take a look at that stoop. What a funny word. Did you know that “Stoop Kid” has only left his stoop once? I don’t blame him for staying so long. Stoops are simple yet powerful.You are like a king on your stoop, elevated above all the passersby. While they walk on the commoners’ sidewalk, you stand proudly, overlooking the public and keeping it in order.

You can decorate your stoop, perhaps give it a fancy welcome mat. Or you can go cowboy style---keepin’ it plain yet rugged while leaning back in your rusty lawn chair, eye-twitching with intensity as your death stare induces fear in your neighbors. No one steps foot on your stoop. That is, except for the mailman and those lucky enough to receive an invite.

The stoop is almighty. You are almighty on top of your stoop. That is your stoop. Take it. Own it. Be it. No one else can.

THE STOOP

AN ADVERTISING RE-DO

THEIR AD

AN ADVERTISING RE-DO

MY AD

I redesigned the Three Olives Dude ad because I never knew how cheap Three Olives’ ads looked before. As a bartender, this is a product I sell. However, even without being a bartender, it’s not hard to know that Dude is not a product men particularly would love. It’s vodka, and flavored at that. Which is what college-aged females love. Add a little spring break in the mix, and you’ve got yourself an ad.

ADVERTISING HEADLINES

clbi

cy es

10 headlines by: brittany bell

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We care for the land. We care for the animals. We care for you.

+

Dyson Vacuum Cleaners The Animal

+

Nice Try Gorgeous,Nothing Stops Me From

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Just Stand There and Look Pretty. I’ve Got a

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The One-Way Relationship

+ I’m an ANIMAL at sucking up pet hair!

One purple, hair and dirt eating machine, at your service.

+

I’m not awkward. I never lose suction power.And I’m handsome. You’re welcome.

So you’re telling me that you never have to bend down because the adjustments are on my handle?Do I get paid more?

+You’re too good for bags. That’s why I have a filter.

I make your life easy. Plus, I’m not too bad on the eyes either.

+

One tiny vacuum. Lots of strong suction.

Stand back. The Suction Master is in action.

THE ECONOMISTINTERNATIONAL NEWS, POLITICS, BUSINESS, FINANCE, SCIENCE, AND TECHNOLOGY

WHERE GLOBAL EVENTS ARE UNVEILED AND SCRUTINIZED

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POLITE AND UNBIASED JOURNALISTS AREN’T ALWAYS GOOD JOURNALISTS.

A COLLABORATE EFFORT TO SERVE YOU THE NEWS

THE ECONOMIST: WHERE NEWS IS GLOBALIZED

ANONYMOUS YET COLLECTIVE, WE’RE YOUR NEWS CORRESPONDENTS

WE CULTIVATE GLOBAL NEWS FOR THE PEOPLE’S INTERESTS

WE WRITE IT DOWN. YOU DO WHAT YOU WANT WITH IT.

Burger KingThe Triple Whopper Sandwich

SOME THINGS ARE BETTER IN THREE’S

CAUTION: OPEN WIDE PRIOR TO

CONSUMING

STACKSON STACKSON STACKS

DO IT FOR THE KING

OF BURGERS

TRIPLE THE BURGER TO

SAVOR YOUR MEAT CRAVING

BE A MAN ABOUT YOUR

BURGER

IT’S NOT JUST A BURGER...

IT’S A BURGER EMPIRE.

FIT FOR A KING…A

BURGER KING

A TRIPLE THREAT TO ALL THE

COMPETITION

HAMBURGER HUNGER NO MORE