Poetical Works of Oliver Wendell Holmes, the — Volume 03: Medical Poems by Holmes, Oliver Wendell, 1809-1894

8/14/2019 Poetical Works of Oliver Wendell Holmes, the Volume 03: Medical Poems by Holmes, Oliver Wendell, 1809-1894

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TheProjectGutenbergEBookofThePoeticalWorksofOliverWendellHolmes,Vol.3,byOliverWendellHolmes,Sr.

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Title:ThePoeticalWorksofOliverWendellHolmes,Vol.3MedicalPoems

Author:OliverWendellHolmes,Sr.

ReleaseDate:September30,2004[EBook#7390]

Language:English

Charactersetencoding:ASCII

***STARTOFTHISPROJECTGUTENBERGEBOOKPOETRYOFHOLMES,VOL.3***

ProducedbyDavidWidger

THEPOETICALWORKS

OF

OLIVERWENDELLHOLMES

[1893threevolumeset]

MEDICALPOEMS

THEMORNINGVISITTHETWOARMIESTHESTETHOSCOPESONGEXTRACTSFROMAMEDICALPOEM

APOEMFORTHEMEETINGOFTHEAMERICANMEDICALASSOCIATIONATNEWYORK,MAY5,1853ASENTIMENTRIPVANWINKLE,M.D.

THEMORNINGVISIT


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Asickman'schamber,thoughitoftenboastThegratefulpresenceofaliteraltoast,Canhardlyclaim,amidstitsvariouswealth,Therightunchallengedtoproposeahealth;Yetthoughitstenantisdeniedthefeast,Friendshipmustlaunchhissentimentatleast,Asprisoneddamsels,lockedfromlovers'lips,Tossthemakissfromofftheirfingers'tips.

Themorningvisit,--nottillsicknessfallsInthecharmedcirclesofyourownsafewalls;Tillfever'sthrobandpain'srelentlessrackStretchyouallhelplessonyourachingback;Nottillyouplaythepatientinyourturn,Themorningvisit'smysteryshallyoulearn.

'Tisasmallmatterinyourneighbor'scase,Tochargeyourfeeforshowinghimyourface;Youskipup-stairs,inquire,inspect,andtouch,Prescribe,takeleave,andofftotwentysuch.

Butwhenatlength,byfate'stransferreddecree,Thevisitorbecomesthevisitee,Oh,then,indeed,itpullsanotherstring;

Youroxisgored,andthat'sadifferentthing!Yourfriendissick:phlegmaticasaTurk,Youwriteyourrecipeandletitwork;Notyourstostandtheshiverandthefrown,Andsometimesworse,withwhichyourdraughtgoesdown.Calmasaclockyourknowinghanddirects,_Rhei,jalapaeanagranasex_,Ortracesonsometendermissive'sback,_Scrupulosduospulverisipecac_;Andleavesyourpatienttohisqualmsandgripes,Coolasasportsmanbangingathissnipes.Butchangethetime,theperson,andtheplace,Andbeyourself"theinterestingcase,"

You'llgainsomeknowledgewhichit'swelltolearn;Infuturepracticeitmayserveyourturn.Leeches,forinstance,--pleasingcreaturesquite;Trythem,--andblessyou,--don'tyoufindtheybite?Youraiseablisterforthesmallestcause,Butbeyourselfthesitterwhomitdraws,Andtrustmystatement,youwillnotdenyTheworstofdraughtsmenisyourSpanishfly!It'smightyeasyorderingwhenyouplease,_Infusisennaecapiatunciastres_;It'smightydifferentwhenyouquackledownYourownthreeouncesoftheliquidbrown._Pilula,pulvis_,--pleasantwordsenough,

Whenotherthroatsreceivetheshockingstuff;Butoh,whatflatterycandisguisethegroanThatmeetsthegulpwhichsendsitthroughyourown!Begentle,then,thoughArt'sunsparingrulesGiveyouthehandlingofhersharpesttools;Usethemnotrashly,--sicknessisenough;Bealways"ready,"butbenever"rough."

Ofalltheillsthatsufferingmanendures,ThelargestfractionliberalNaturecures;


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Ofthoseremaining,'tisthesmallestpartYieldstotheeffortsofjudiciousArt;Butsimple_Kindness_,kneelingbythebedToshiftthepillowforthesickman'shead,Givethefreshdraughttocoolthelipsthatburn,Fanthehotbrow,thewearyframetoturn,--Kindness,untutoredbyourgraveM.D.'s,ButNature'sgraduate,whensheschoolstoplease,WinsbackmoresuffererswithhervoiceandsmileThanallthetrumperyinthedruggist'spile.

Oncemore,bequiet:comingupthestair,Don'tbeaplantigrade,ahumanbear,But,stealingsoftlyonthesilenttoe,Reachthesickchamberereyou'reheardbelow.Whateverchangestheremaygreetyoureyes,Letnotyourlooksproclaimtheleastsurprise;It'snotyourbusinessbyyourfacetoshowAllthatyourpatientdoesnotwanttoknow;Nay,useyouropticswithconsideratecare,Anddon'tabuseyourprivilegetostare.Butifyoureyesmayprobehimovermuch,Bewarestillfurtherhowyourudelytouch;Don'tclutchhiscarpusinyouricyfist,

Butwarmyourfingersereyoutakethewrist.Ifthepoorvictimneedsmustbepercussed,Don'tmakeananvilofhisachingbust;(DoctorsexistwithinahundredmilesWhothumpathoraxasthey'dhammerpiles;)Ifyoumustlistentohisdoubtfulchest,Catchtheessentials,andignoretherest.Sparehim;thesuffererwantsofyouandartAtracktosteerby,notafinishedchart.Soofyourquestions:don'tinmercytryTopumpyourpatientabsolutelydry;He'snotamollusksquirminginadish,You'renotAgassiz;andhe'snotafish.

Andlast,notleast,ineachperplexingcase,Learnthesweetmagicofacheerfulface;Notalwayssmiling,butatleastserene,Whengriefandanguishcloudtheanxiousscene.Eachlook,eachmovement,everywordandtone,Shouldtellyourpatientyouareallhisown;Notthemereartist,purchasedtoattend,Butthewarm,ready,self-forgettingfriend,WhosegenialvisitinitselfcombinesThebestofcordials,tonics,anodynes.

Suchisthe_visit_thatfromdaytoday

Shedso'ermychamberitsbenignantray.Igivehishealth,whonevercaredtoclaimHerbabblinghomagefromthetongueofFame;Unmovedbypraise,hestandsbyallconfest,Thetruest,noblest,wisest,kindest,best.

1849.


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THETWOARMIES

AsLife'sunendingcolumnpours,Twomarshalledhostsareseen,--TwoarmiesonthetrampledshoresThatDeathflowsblackbetween.

Onemarchestothedrum-beat'sroll,Thewide-mouthedclarion'sbray,Andbearsuponacrimsonscroll,"Ourgloryistoslay."

Onemovesinsilencebythestream,Withsad,yetwatchfuleyes,Calmasthepatientplanet'sgleamThatwalksthecloudedskies.

Alongitsfrontnosabresshine,Noblood-redpennonswave;Itsbannerbearsthesingleline,"Ourdutyistosave."

Forthosenodeath-bed'slingeringshade;AtHonor'strumpet-call,WithknittedbrowandliftedbladeInGlory'sarmstheyfall.

Forthesenoclashingfalchionsbright,Nostirringbattle-cry;Thebloodlessstabbercallsbynight,--Eachanswers,"HereamI!"

Forthosethesculptor'slaurelledbust,Thebuilder'smarblepiles,Theanthemspealingo'ertheirdust

Throughlongcathedralaisles.

Forthesetheblossom-sprinkledturfThatfloodsthelonelygravesWhenSpringrollsinhersea-greensurfInflowery-foamingwaves.

Twopathsleadupwardfrombelow,Andangelswaitabove,Whocounteachburninglife-drop'sflow,EachfallingtearofLove.

ThoughfromtheHero'sbleedingbreast

HerpulsesFreedomdrew,ThoughthewhiteliliesinhercrestSprangfromthatscarletdew,--

WhileValor'shaughtychampionswaitTillalltheirscarsareshown,Lovewalksunchallengedthroughthegate,TositbesidetheThrone.


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THESTETHOSCOPESONG

APROFESSIONALBALLAD

THEREwasayoungmaninBostontown,Heboughthimastethoscopeniceandnew,Allmountedandfinishedandpolisheddown,Withanivorycapandastoppertoo.

Ithappenedaspiderwithindidcrawl,Andspunhimawebofamplesize,WhereintherechancedonedaytofallAcoupleofveryimprudentflies.

Thefirstwasabottle-fly,bigandblue,Thesecondwassmaller,andthinandlong;Sotherewasaconcertbetweenthetwo,Likeanoctavefluteandataverngong.

NowbeingfromParisbutrecently,Thisfineyoungmanwouldshowhisskill;

Andsotheygavehim,hishandtotry,Ahospitalpatientextremelyill.

Somesaidthathisliverwasshortofbile,Andsomethathisheartwasoversize,Whilesomekeptarguing,allthewhile,Hewascrammedwithtuberclesuptohiseyes.

Thisfineyoungmanthenupsteppedhe,Andallthedoctorsmadeapause;Saidhe,Themanmustdie,yousee,Bythefifty-seventhofLouis'slaws.

Butsincethecaseisadesperateone,Toexplorehischestitmaybewell;Forifheshoulddieanditwerenotdone,Youknowtheautopsywouldnottell.

Thenouthisstethoscopehetook,Andonitplacedhiscuriousear;MonDieu!saidhe,withaknowinglook,Why,hereisasoundthat'smightyqueer.

Thebourdonnementisveryclear,--Amphoricbuzzing,asI'maliveFivedoctorstooktheirturntohear;

Amphoricbuzzing,saidallthefive.

There'sempyemabeyondadoubt;We'llplungeatrocarinhisside.Thediagnosiswasmadeout,--Theytappedthepatient;sohedied.

Nowsuchashatenew-fashionedtoysBegantolookextremelyglum;Theysaidthatrattlesweremadeforboys,


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Andvowedthathisbuzzingwasallahum.

Therewasanoldladyhadlongbeensick,AndwhatwasthematternonedidknowHerpulsewasslow,thoughhertonguewasquick;Toherthisknowingyouthmustgo.

Sotheretheniceoldladysat,Withphialsandboxesallinarow;Sheaskedtheyoungdoctorwhathewasat,Tothumpherandtumbleherrufflesso.

Now,whenthestethoscopecameout,ThefliesbegantobuzzandwhizOhho!thematterisclear,nodoubt;Ananeurismthereplainlyis.

ThebruitderapeandthebruitdescieAndthebruitdediableareallcombined;HowhappyBouillaudwouldbe,Ifheacaselikethiscouldfind!

Now,whentheneighboringdoctorsfoundAcasesorarehadbeendescried,

TheyeverydayherribsdidpoundInsquadsoftwenty;soshedied.

Thensixyoungdamsels,slightandfrail,Receivedthiskindyoungdoctor'scares;Theyallweregettingslimandpale,Andshortofbreathonmountingstairs.

Theyallmaderhymeswith"sighs"and"skies,"Andloathedtheirpuddingsandbutteredrolls,Anddieted,muchtotheirfriends'surprise,Onpicklesandpencilsandchalkandcoals.

Sofasttheirlittleheartsdidbound,Thefrightenedinsectsbuzzedthemore;SooveralltheirchestshefoundTheralesifflantandtheralesonore.

Heshookhishead.There'sgravedisease,--Igreatlyfearyouallmustdie;Aslightpost-mortem,ifyouplease,Survivingfriendswouldgratify.

Thesixyoungdamselsweptaloud,WhichsoprevailedonsixyoungmenThateachhishonestloveavowed,

Whereattheyallgotwellagain.

Thispooryoungmanwasallaghast;Thepriceofstethoscopescamedown;AndsohewasreducedatlastTopractiseinacountrytown.

Thedoctorsbeingverysore,AstethoscopetheydiddeviseThathadarammertoclearthebore,


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Withaknobattheendtokilltheflies.

Nowuseyourears,allyouthatcan,Butdon'tforgettomindyoureyes,Oryoumaybecheated,likethisyoungman,Byacoupleofsilly,abnormalflies.

EXTRACTSFROMAMEDICALPOEM

THESTABILITYOFSCIENCE

THEfeeblesea-birds,blindedinthestorms,Onsometalllighthousedashtheirlittleforms,AndtherudegranitescattersfortheirpainsThosesmalldepositsthatweremeantforbrains.Yettheproudfabricinthemorning'ssunStandsallunconsciousofthemischiefdone;StilltheredbeaconpoursitseveningraysForthelostpilotwithasfullablaze,--Nay,shines,allradiance,o'erthescatteredfleet

Ofgullsandboobiesbrainlessatitsfeet.

Itelltheirfate,thoughcourtesydisclaimsTocallourkindbysuchungentlenames;Yet,ifyourrashnessbidyouvainlydare,Thinkoftheirdoom,yesimple,andbeware.

SeewherealoftitshoaryforeheadrearsThetoweringprideoftwiceathousandyears!Far,farbelowthevastincumbentpileSleepsthegrayrockfromart'sAEgeanisleItsmassivecourses,circlingastheyrise,Swellfromthewavestominglewiththeskies;

Thereeveryquarrylendsitsmarblespoil,Andclusteringagesblendtheircommontoil;TheGreek,theRoman,reareditsancientwalls,ThesilentArabarcheditsmystichalls;Inthatfairniche,bycountlessbillowslaved,TracethedeeplinesthatSydenhamengraved;Onyonbroadfrontthatbreaststhechangingswell,MarkwheretheponderoussledgeofHunterfell;BythatsquarebuttresslookwhereLouisstands,Thestoneyetwarmfromhisupliftedhands;Andsay,OScience,shallthylife-bloodfreeze,Whenflutteringfollyflapsonwallslikethese?

APORTRAIT

Thoughtfulinyouth,butnotaustereinage;Calm,butnotcold,andcheerfulthoughasage;Tootruetoflatterandtookindtosneer,Andonlyjustwhenseeminglysevere;SogentlyblendingcourtesyandartThatwisdom'slipsseemedborrowingfriendship'sheart.


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TaughtbythesorrowsthathisagehadknownInothers'trialstoforgethisown,Ashourbyhourhislengtheneddaydeclined,Asweeterradiancelingeredo'erhismind.Coldwerethelipsthatspokehisearlypraise,Andhushedthevoicesofhismorningdays,Yetthesameaccentsdweltoneverytongue,Andloverenewingkepthimeveryoung.

ASENTIMENT_OBiosBpaxus_,--lifeisbutasong;_Hrexvnuakpn_,--artiswondrouslong;Yettothewiseherpathsareeverfair,AndPatiencesmiles,thoughGeniusmaydespair.Giveusbutknowledge,thoughbyslowdegrees,Andblendourtoilwithmomentsbrightasthese;LetFriendship'saccentscheerourdoubtfulway,AndLove'spureplanetlenditsguidingray,--OurtardyArtshallwearanangel'swings,Andlifeshalllengthenwiththejoyitbrings!

APOEM

FORTHEMEETINGOFTHEAMERICANMEDICALASSOCIATIONATNEWYORK,MAY5,1853

IHOLDaletterinmyhand,--Aflatteringletter,more'sthepity,--Bysomecontrivingjuntoplanned,Andsigned_perorderofCommittee_.Ittoucheseverytenderestspot,--Mypatrioticpredilections,

Mywell-known-something--don'taskwhat,--Mypooroldsongs,mykindaffections.

TheymakeafeastonThursdaynext,Andhopetomakethefeastersmerry;Theyownthey'resomethingmoreperplexedForpoetsthanforportandsherry.Theywantthemenof--(wordtornout);Ourfriendswillcomewithanxiousfaces,(Toseeourblanketsoff,nodoubt,Andtrotusoutandshowourpaces.)

Theyhintthatpapersbythescore

Arerathermustykindofrations,--Theydon'texactlymeanabore,Butonlytryingtothepatience;Thatsuchas--youknowwhoImean--Distinguishedfortheir--whatd'yecall'em--ShouldbringthedewsofHippocreneTosprinkleonthefacessolemn.

--Thesameoldstory:that'sthechaffTocatchthebirdsthatsingtheditties;


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Uponmysoul,itmakesmelaughToreadtheselettersfromCommittees!They'reallsolovingandsofair,--Allforyoursakesuchkindcompunction;'TwouldsaveyourcarriagehalfitswearTotouchitswheelswithsuchanunction!

Why,whoamI,toliftmehereAndbegsuchlearnedfolktolisten,Toaskasmile,orcoaxatearBeneaththesestoiclidstoglisten?AswellmightsomearterialthreadAskthewholeframetofeelitgushing,WhilethrobbingfiercefromheeltoheadThevastaortictidewasrushing.

Aswellsomehair-likenervemightstrainTosetitsspecialstreamletgoing,Whilethroughthemyriad-channelledbrainTheburningfloodofthoughtwasflowing;OrtremblingfibrestrivetokeepThespringinghaunchesgatheredshorter,Whilethescourgedracer,leaponleap,Wasstretchingthroughthelasthotquarter!

Ahme!youtakethebudthatcameSelf-sowninyourpoorgarden'sborders,AndhandittothestatelydameThatfloristsbreedfor,allsheorders.Shethanksyou,--itwaskindlymeant,--(Apaleafair,notworththekeeping,)--Goodmorning;andyourbudissentTojointhetea-leavesusedforsweeping.

Notalwaysso,kindheartsandtrue,--ForsuchIknowareroundmebeating;IsnotthebudIofferyou,

Freshgatheredforthehourofmeeting,Palethoughitsouterleavesmaybe,Rose-redinallitsinnerpetals?--Wherethewarmlifewecannotsee--Thelifeoflovethatgaveit--settles.

Wemeetfromregionsfaraway,Likerillsfromdistantmountainsstreaming;ThesunisonFrancisco'sbay,O'erChesapeakethelighthousegleaming;WhilesummergirdsthestillbayouInchainsofbloom,herbridaltoken,

Monadnockseestheskygrowblue,Hiscrystalbraceletyetunbroken.

YetNaturebearstheselfsameheartBeneathherrusset-mantledbosomAswhere,withburninglipsapart,Shebreathesandwhitemagnoliasblossom;TheselfsamefountsherchalicefillWithshowerysunlightrunningover,Onfieryplainandfrozenhill,


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Onmyrtle-bedsandfieldsofclover.

IgiveyouHome!itscrossinglinesUnitedinonegoldensuture,AndshowingeverydaythatshinesThepresentgrowingtothefuture,--AflagthatbearsahundredstarsInonebrightring,withloveforcentre,FencedroundwithwhiteandcrimsonbarsNoprowlingtreasondarestoenter!

Obrothers,homemaybeawordTomakeaffection'slivingtreasure,Thewaveanangelmighthavestirred,Astagnantpoolofselfishpleasure;HOME!Itiswheretheday-starspringsAndwheretheeveningsunreposes,Where'ertheeaglespreadshiswings,Fromnorthernpinestosouthernroses!

ASENTIMENT

ATRIPLEhealthtoFriendship,Science,Art,Fromheadsandhandsthatownacommonheart!Eachinitsturntheothers'willingslave,Eachinitsseasonstrongtohealandsave.

Friendship'sblindservice,inthehourofneed,Wipesthepaleface,andletsthevictimbleed.Sciencemuststoptoreasonandexplain;ARTclapshisfingeronthestreamingvein.

ButArt'sbriefmemoryfailsthehandatlast;

ThenSCIENCEliftstheflambeauofthepast.Whenboththeirequalimpotencedeplore,WhenLearningsighs,andSkillcandonomore,ThetearofFRIENDSHIPpoursitsheavenlybalm,AndsoothesthepangnoanodynemaycalmMay1,1855.

RIPVANWINKLE,M.D.

ANAFTER-DINNERPRESCRIPTIONTAKENBYTHEMASSACHUSETTSMEDICALSOCIETY,ATTHEIRMEETINGHELDMAY25,1870

CANTOFIRST

OLDRipVanWinklehadagrandson,Rip,Ofthepaternalblockagenuinechip,--Alazy,sleepy,curiouskindofchap;He,likehisgrandsire,tookamightynap,


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WhereofthestoryIproposetotellIntwobriefcantos,ifyoulistenwell.

ThetimeswerehardwhenRiptomanhoodgrew;Theyalwayswillbewhenthere'sworktodo.Hetriedatfarming,--founditratherslow,--Andthenatteaching--whathedidn'tknow;Thentooktohangingroundthetavernbars,Tofrequenttoddiesandlong-ninecigars,TillDameVanWinkle,outofpatience,vexedWithpreachinghomilies,havingfortheirtextAmop,abroomstick,aughtthatmightavailTopointamoraloradornatale,Exclaimed,"Ihaveit!Now,then,Mr.V.He'sgoodforsomething,--makehimanM.D.!"

Thediewascast;theyoungsterwascontent;Theypackedhisshirtsandstockings,andhewent.Howhardhestudieditwerevaintotell;HedrowsedthroughWistar,noddedoverBell,SleptsoundwithCooper,snoredaloudonGood;Heardheapsoflectures,--doubtlessunderstood,--Aconstantlistener,forhedidnotfailTocarvehisnameoneverybenchandrail.

Monthsgrewtoyears;atlasthecountedthree,AndRipVanWinklefoundhimselfM.D.Illustrioustitle!inagildedframeHesetthesheepskinwithhisLatinname,RIPUMVANWINKLUM,QUEMwe--SCIMUS--knowIDONEUMESSE--todosoandso.Hehiredanoffice;soonitswallsdisplayedHisnewdiplomaandhisstockintrade,Amightyarsenaltosubduedisease,Ofvariousnames,whereofImentiontheseLancetsandbougies,greatandlittlesquirt,RhubarbandSenna,Snakeroot,Thoroughwort,

Ant.Tart.,Vin.Colch.,Pil.Cochiae,andBlackDrop,TincturesofOpium,Gentian,Henbane,Hop,Pulv.Ipecacuanhae,whichforlackOfbreathtouttermencallIpecac,CamphorandKino,Turpentine,Tolu,Cubebs,"Copeevy,"Vitriol,--whiteandblue,--FennelandFlaxseed,SlipperyElmandSquill,AndrootsofSassafras,and"Sassaf'rill,"Brandy,--forcolics,--Pinkroot,deathonworms,--Valerian,calmerofhystericsquirms,Musk,Assafoetida,theresinousgumNamedfromitsodor,--well,itdoessmellsome,--Jalap,thatworksnotwisely,buttoowell,

TenpoundsofBarkandsixofCalomel.

Foroutwardgriefshehadanamplestore,Sometwentyjarsandgallipots,ormore:_Ceratumsimplex_--housewivesoftcompileThesameathome,andcallit"waxandile;"_Unguentumresinosum_--changeitsname,The"drawingsalve"ofmanyanancientdame;_ArgentiNitras_,alsoSpanishflies,Whosevirtuemakesthewater-bladdersrise--


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(Somesaythatspreaduponatoper'sskinTheydrawnowater,onlyrumorgin);Leeches,sweetvermin!don'ttheycharmthesick?AndSticking-plaster--howithatestostick_EmplastrumFerri_--ditto_Picis_,Pitch;WashesandPowders,Brimstoneforthe--which,_Scabies_or_Psora_,isthychosennameSinceHahnemann'sgoose-quillscratchedtheeintofame,Provedtheethesourceofeverynamelessill,Whosesolespecificisamoonshinepill,TillsaucyScience,withaquietgrin,HelduptheAcarus,crawlingonapin?--MountainshavelaboredandhavebroughtforthmiceTheDutchman'stheoryhatchedabroodof--twiceI'vewell-nighsaidthem--wordsunfittingquiteForthesefairprecinctsandforearspolite.

Thesurestfootmaychanceatlasttoslip,AndsoatlengthitprovedwithDoctorRip.Onefull-sizedbottlestoodupontheshelf,Whichheldthemedicinethathetookhimself;Whate'erthereason,itmustbeconfessedHefilledthatbottleoftenerthantherest;WhatdrugitheldIdon'tpresumetoknow--

Thegildedlabelsaid"ElixirPro."

OnedaytheDoctorfoundthebottlefull,And,beingthirsty,tookavigorouspull,Putbackthe"Elixir"where'twasalwaysfound,AndhadoldDobbinsaddledandbroughtround.--Youknowthoseold-timerhubarb-colorednagsThatcarriedDoctorsandtheirsaddle-bags;Sagaciousbeasts!theystoppedateveryplaceWhereblindswereshut--kneweverypatient'scase--Lookedupandthought--Thebaby'sinafit--Thatwon'tlastlong--he'llsoonbethroughwithit;Butshooktheirheadsbeforetheknockereddoor

Wheresomeoldladytoldthestoryo'erWhoseendlessstreamoftribulationflowsForgastricgriefsandperistalticwoes.

Whatjack-o'-lanternledhimfromhisway,Andwhereitledhim,itwerehardtosay;EnoughthatwanderingmanyawearymileThroughpathsthemountainsheeptrodsinglefile,O'ercomebyfeelingssuchaspatientsknowWhodosetoofreelywith"ElixirPro.,"Hetumbl--dismounted,slightlyinaheap,Andlay,promiscuous,lappedinbalmysleep.

Nightfollowednight,anddaysucceededday,ButsnoringstilltheslumberingDoctorlay.PoorDobbin,starving,thoughtuponhisstall,Andstraggledhomeward,saddle-bagsandall.Thevillagepeoplehuntedallaround,ButRipwasmissing,--nevercouldbefound."Drownded,"theyguessed;--formorethanhalfayearThepoutsandeelsdidtasteuncommonqueer;Somesaidofapple-brandy--othersomeFoundastrongflavorofNewEnglandrum.


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Whycan'tafellowhearthefinethingssaidAboutafellowwhenafellow'sdead?Thebestofdoctors--sothepressdeclared--Apublicblessingwhilehislifewasspared,Truetohiscountry,bounteoustothepoor,Inallthingstemperate,sober,just,andpure;Thebestofhusbands!echoedMrs.Van,Andsethercaptocatchanotherman.

SoendsthisCanto--ifit'squantumsuff.,We'lljuststophereandsaywe'vehadenough,AndleavepoorRiptosleepforthirtyyears;Igrindtheorgan--ifyoulendyourearsTohearmysecondCanto,afterthatWe'llsendaroundthemonkeywiththehat.

CANTOSECOND

Sothirtyyearshadpassed--butnotawordInallthattimeofRipwaseverheard;Theworldwaggedon--itneverdoesgoback--ThewidowVanwasnowthewidowMac----

FrancewasanEmpire--AndrewJ.wasdead,AndAbrahamL.wasreigninginhisstead.Fourmurderousyearshadpassedinsavagestrife,Yetstilltherebelheldhisbloodyknife.

--Atlastonemorning--whoforgetsthedayWhentheblackcloudofwardissolvedawayThejoyoustidingsspreado'erlandandsea,Rebelliondonefor!GranthascapturedLee!UpeveryflagstaffsprangtheStarsandStripes--OutrushedtheExtraswildwithmammothtypes--Downwentthelaborer'shod,theschool-boy'sbook--"Hooraw!"hecried,"therebelarmy'stook!"

Ah!whatatime!thefolksallmadwithjoyEachfond,palemotherthinkingofherboy;Oldgray-hairedfathersmeeting--"Have--you--heard?"Andthenachoke--andnotanotherword;Sistersallsmiling--maidens,notlessdear,Intremblingpoisebetweenasmileandtear;PoorBridgetthinkinghowshe'llstufftheplumsInthatbigcakeforJohnnywhenhecomes;Cripplesafoot;rheumaticsonthejump;Oldgirlssolovingtheycouldhugthepump;Gunsgoingbang!fromeveryfortandship;TheybangedsoloudatlasttheywakenedRip.

Isparethepicture,howamanappearsWho'sbeenasleepascoreortwoofyears;YouallhaveseenittoperfectiondoneByJoeVanWink--ImeanRipJefferson.Well,soitwas;oldRipatlastcameback,Claimedhisoldwife--thepresentwidowMac----Hadhisoldsignregilded,andbeganTopractisephysiconthesameoldplan.Someweekswentby--itwasnotlongtowait--And"pleasetocall"grewfrequentontheslate.


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Hehad,infact,anancient,mildewedair,Alonggraybeard,aplenteouslackofhair,--ThemustylookthatalwaysrecommendsYourgoodoldDoctortohisailingfriends.--Talkofyourscience!afterallissaidThere'snothinglikeabareandshinyhead;Agelendsthegracesthataresuretoplease;FolkswanttheirDoctorsmouldy,liketheircheese.

SoRipbegantolookatpeople'stonguesAndthumptheirbriskets(calledit"soundtheirlungs"),Brusheduphisknowledgesmartlyashecould,ReadinoldCullenandinDoctorGood.Thetownwashealthy;foramonthortwoHegavethesextonlittleworktodo.

Aboutthetimewhendog-dayheatsbegin,Thesummer'susualmaladiessetin;Withautumneveningsdysenterycame,Andduskytyphoidlithissmoulderingflame;Theblacksmithailed,thecarpenterwasdown,Andhalfthechildrensickenedinthetown.Thesexton'sfacegrewshorterthanbefore--Thesexton'swifeabrand-newbonnetwore--

Thingslookedquiteserious--DeathhadgotagripOnoldandyoung,inspiteofDoctorRip.

AndnowtheSquirewastakenwithachill--Wifegave"hot-drops"--atnightanIndianpill;Nextmorning,feverish--bedtime,gettingworse--Outofhishead--begantoraveandcurse;TheDoctorsentfor--doublequickhecame_Ant.Tart.gran.duo_,andrepeatthesameIfnoetcetera.Thirdday--nothingnew;Percussedhisthoraxtill'twasblackandblue--Lung-feverthreatening--somethingofthesort--Outwiththelancet--lethimbleed--aquart--

Tenleechesnext--thenblisterstohisside;Tengrainsofcalomel;justthenhedied.

TheDeaconnextrequiredtheDoctor'scare--Tookcoldbysittinginadraughtofair--Painsintheback,butwhatthematterisNotquitesoclear,--wifecallsit"rheumatiz."Rubsbackwithflannel--giveshimsomethinghot--"Ah!"saystheDeacon,"thatgoesnighthespot."Nextdayarigor--"Run,mylittleman,AndsaytheDeaconsendsforDoctorVan."TheDoctorcame--percussionasbefore,Thumpingandbangingtillhisribsweresore--

"Rightsidetheflattest"--thenmorevigorousraps--"Fever--that'scertain--pleurisy,perhaps.Aquartofbloodwilleasethepain,nodoubt,Tenleechesnextwillhelptosuckitout,Thenclapablisteronthepainfulpart--Butfirsttwograinsof_AntimoniumTart_.LastwithadoseofcleansingcalomelUnloadtheportalsystem--(thatsoundswell!)"

Butwhentheselfsameremediesweretried,


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Asallthevillageknew,theSquirehaddied;

Theneighborshinted."Thiswillneverdo;He'skilledtheSquire--he'llkilltheDeacontoo."

Nowwhenadoctor'spatientsareperplexed,Aconsultationcomesinordernext--Youknowwhatthatis?InacertainplaceMeetcertaindoctorstodiscussacaseAndothermatters,suchasweather,crops,Potatoes,pumpkins,lager-beer,andhops.Forwhat'stheuse?--there'slittletobesaid,Ninetimesintenyourman'sasgoodasdead;Atbestatalk(thesecrettodisclose)Wherethreemenguessandsometimesonemanknows.

Thecounselsummonedcamewithoutdelay--YoungDoctorGreenandshrewdoldDoctorGray--Theyheardthestory--"Bleed!"saysDoctorGreen,"That'sdownrightmurder!cuthisthroat,youmeanLeeches!thereptiles!Why,forpity'ssake,Nottryanadderorarattlesnake?Blisters!Whyblessyou,they'reagainstthelaw--It'srankassaultandbatteryiftheydraw

TartrateofAntimony!shadeofLuke,Stomachsturnpaleatthoughtofsuchrebuke!Theportalsystem!What'sthemanabout?Unloadyournonsense!Calomel'splayedout!You'vebeenasleep--you'dbettersleepawayTillsomeonecallsyou."

"Stop!"saysDoctorGray--"Thestoryisyousleptforthirtyyears;WithbrotherGreen,IownthatitappearsYoumusthaveslumberedmostamazingsound;Butsleeponcemoretillthirtyyearscomeround,You'llfindthelancetinitshonoredplace,

Leechesandblistersrescuedfromdisgrace,Yourdrugsredeemedfromfashion'spassingscorn,Andcountedsafetogivetobabesunborn."

PoorsleepyRip,M.M.S.S.,M.D.,Apuzzled,serious,saddenedmanwashe;HomefromtheDeacon'shouseheploddedslowAndfilledonebumperof"ElixirPro.""Good-by,"hefaltered,"Mrs.Van,mydear!I'mgoingtosleep,butwakemeonceayear;Idon'tlikebleachinginthefrostanddew,I'lltakethebarn,ifallthesametoyou.Justonceayear--remember!nomistake!

Cry,'RipVanWinkle!timeforyoutowake!'WatchfortheweekinMaywhenlaylocksblow,ForthentheDoctorsmeet,andImustgo."

JustonceayeartheDoctor'sworthydameGoestothebarnandshoutsherhusband'sname;"Come,RipVanWinkle!"(givinghimashake)"Rip!RipVanWinkle!timeforyoutowake!Laylocksinblossom!'tisthemonthofMay--TheDoctors'meetingisthisblessedday,


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Andcomewhatwill,youknowIheardyouswearYou'dnevermissit,butbealwaysthere!"

Andsoitis,aseveryyearcomesroundOldRipVanWinklehereisalwaysfound.You'llquicklyknowhimbyhismildewedair,Thehayseedsprinkledthroughhisscantyhair,Thelichensgrowingonhisrustysuit--I'veseenatoadstoolsproutingonhisboot--WhosaysIlie?Doesanymanpresume?--Toadstool?Nomatter--callitamushroom.Whereishisseat?Hemovesiteveryyear;Butlook,you'llfindhim,--heisalwayshere,--Perhapsyou'lltrackhimbyawhiffyouknow--Acertainflavorof"ElixirPro."

Now,then,Igiveyou--asyouseemtothinkWecangivetoastswithoutadroptodrink--Healthtothemightysleeper,--longlivehe!OurbrotherRip,M.M.S.S.,M.D.!

EndoftheProjectGutenbergEBookofThePoeticalWorksofOliverWendellHolmes,Vol.3,byOliverWendellHolmes,Sr.

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Documents

Poetical Works of Oliver Wendell Holmes, the — Volume 03: Medical Poems by Holmes, Oliver Wendell, 1809-1894