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10 CWRm
Iwas watching a favorite TVprogram when a strangeadvertisement for peanut
butter grabbed my attention.The commercial went somethinglike this:
As a young woman runsthrough an abandoned street,with smoke and ash falling allaround her, a young manbeckons her to enter anunderground shelter, similar to atornado shelter you might see ona farm in the Midwest. Theyoung woman enters, obviouslyrelieved and thankful to be safe.As her eyes take in her newsurroundings, she notices thewalls are filled with shelves ofprovisions.
On further scrutiny, sherealizes the shelves are stockedwith a generic brand of peanutbutter. The realization causes herto shake her head and she dartsout of the shelter, back into thedestruction of a fiery war zone.She runs into a half-demolishedwarehouse and pulls out thebrand of peanut butter sheprefers, takes a spoonful andsmiles. Then the slogan appears,“[Brand]— so good you’d brave theApocalypse for it.”
EMERGENCY SUPPLY CLOSET Clever? Undoubtedly.Humorous? Perhaps. But for me,
seeing that short peanut buttercommercial instantly took meback fifty years, to a terrifiedseven-year-old girl, as memoriesflooded my mind of theemergency supply closet in mychildhood home. Many familieshave emergency supplies onhand in case of a natural disaster.That isn’t a bad thing. In fact, it isactually a necessity in manyareas of the world. But there wasa much deeper, sinister reasonbehind my family’s closet full ofprovisions.
My brother and I were told tonever open that closet door ortouch the emergency supplies. Igot spanked for “stealing” a fewcrackers from it one time when Iwas terribly hungry and therewas little or nothing in thekitchen cupboards or fridgeeasily accessible for a small childto eat.
You see, the supplies in thatcloset were meant to be usedonly for the End-Times (seeglossary). Similar to the idea ofbeing “left behind” from theRapture (see glossary), myparents feared they might notqualify to escape the comingwrath and judgment of Godupon mankind.
As an adult, I came to refer toour family’s emergency supplycloset as “The Tribulation Closet.”Growing up with such a tangible
symbol of that looming,inevitable apocalyptic tribulation(see glossary) just a few doorsaway from my own littlebedroom definitely messed withmy head as a kid, to say the least.
I grew up believing that nomatter how many good thingsyou try to do, and no matter howhard you try to obey yourparents, teachers, ministers andultimately God himself, you justnever know for sure if you’ll bedeemed good enough to escapethe “soon-coming” tribulation ornot. You might try your hardest,but if God was angry you wouldbe punished or killed.
TOXIC IMPACT OF THE CLOSET As I grew from a child into a teenand young adult, this“tribulation closet” mentalitycontinued to have a huge impacton my life. I lived with aconstant fear of never knowingwhether I might wake up oneday in a horrific war zone, allbecause I or my parents didn’t doenough to “qualify” for God’ssalvation.
Beyond that, I was constantlyafraid of disappointing myparents and family by notmeasuring up to God’s holystandard. By age nine, thisconstant heightened state ofanxiety began to manifest itself
OUT OF THETRIBULATION CLOSET
LAURA URISTA
in the form of headaches,recurring nightmares, stomachtroubles and eventually nervoushives. I remember that my momused to wash and double-rinse allmy clothing, bedding, towels—everything that came intocontact with my skin—thinking Ihad an allergy.
I didn’t know why I washaving these physicalmanifestations of anxiety until Iwas I was much older. As a youngadult, my intense fear andanxiety finally began to subside,but occasionally I would getnervous hives before a big exam,speech, job interview orpresentation.
In my early thirties, I went to counseling, and Ifinally got some real help indealing with the deep-seated fearof being “left behind” and all theterror that might entail, alongwith the idea that I could nevermeasure up.
Now, as I look back at thoseerrant teachings and theirimpact on my life, I realize that Iallowed fear to paralyze and holdme captive in many ways. I madechoices in my life based on fear—fear that I wouldn’t or couldn’tbe good enough to be saved. Fearthat I wouldn’t live long enoughto go to college, get married orhave children one day.
Photo by Toni OpreaRomania
. . . a young woman runs through an abandoned street, with smokeand ash falling all around her, a young man beckons her to enter anunderground shelter similar to a tornado shelter you might see on afarm in the Midwest . . .
APRIL 2020 11
Some of our readers will recognize Laura’sexperience from their own religious history.My childhood in the Baptist church was
also infected with a tribulation fever of sorts. Ourversion was caught up in the Hal Lindsay’s LateGreat Planet Earth, the top-selling book on allthings rapture, tribulation, Antichrist andArmageddon.
My childhood imagination was ignited with thehellfire prophecies of Jack Chick Comics, LarryNorman’s haunting lyrics (“You’ve been leftbehind”) and the Evangelical horror movie, “Thiefin the Night.” We were programmed to believeChrist would rapture away the true believers sowe’d miss the Great Tribulation, but woe to thosewho’d be left behind.
It was thrilling and terrifying all at oncebecause I was sure I would be raptured—until,that is, those traumatic moments when it seemedmy family was taken and I was left…Home Aloneon a cosmic scale!
I won’t recount how that all unraveled except tosay that fear-based religion has a shelf-life butdivine love does not. The Light of perfect Loveexposed the silliness and healed the trauma,thanks be to God. q
Tribulation Fever by Brad Jersak
end-time generations since 1843, which was one of thefirst dispensationalist-inspired predictions for the dateof the Second Coming.
Rapture: The supposed event when those who are notChristians will see and hear the spectacle of Christiansbeing whisked away to safety in heaven while they areleft behind.
Tribulation: A biblical term interpreted bydispensationalists as referring to seven years ofunparalleled trouble shortly before the Second Coming.
DISTORTED VIEW OF GOD In retrospect, I recognize that fear played arole in my relationships with my parents,friends, coworkers, bosses, my husband andespecially with God. Talk about “trust issues”!How could I ever trust a god who would allowhis children to be taken captive, tortured anddestroyed? How could a “loving Father” killhis own Son, or allow him to be killed tosatisfy his “wrath”? If God did that to his onlySon who was perfect, how much more wouldhe do to me, a sinner?
What a profound difference there isbetween those errant teachings of myreligious past and the TRUE gospel Jesustaught. Jesus came to show us his lovingAbba—his kind, compassionate and caring“Daddy.”
Contrary to what many preachers say theBible teaches, God did not torture or kill hisSon. Humans were responsible for thoseerrant teachings, and humans wereresponsible for Jesus’ beating and crucifixion.
In fact, humans have always beenresponsible for the atrocities of captivity,slavery and all the evils of war. But Godalways has been and always will be simplydivine, perfect love—and “perfect love drivesout fear” (1 John 4:18). q
Laura Urista is managing editor of CWRmand a survivor of the alleged tribulation.
PARTIAL APOCALYPTIC GLOSSARY Dispensationalism: A method ofinterpreting future events spoken of in theBible. Most iterations of dispensationaltheology believe human history will last6,000 years followed by a 1,000-yearmillennial earthly rule of Christ.
End-Times: Believed to be the last generationon earth before the Second Coming of Jesus.Dispensationalism has produced many such