Multiple mattersA U T U M N I S S U E / S E P T E M B E R 2 0 1 2

T H E O F F I C I A L M A G A Z I N E O F T A M B A

PLUS: New discouNters • tAMBA GiVeAwAYs • News ANd More

extra specialBringing up twins with different needs

Together againthe unique bond of opposite-sex twins

Starting schooltips for a smooth transition

Breaking out? Navigating the teenage years

what’s inside: autumn 2012

Dear supporter,Our financial year ends in June, so it’s a good opportunity to take stock of how we’re doing and what we should prioritise in the coming year.

Our board of trustees (elected and appointed members) set a dozen priorities and monitor their progress at every meeting. One priority is targeting expectant and new parents by recruiting freelance support to raise our profile. We made progress and

recruited support, but it didn’t have the impact we hoped for. We plan to do better at raising our profile, which includes overhauling our website.

We have been in touch with fellow charities and professionals and taken their advice on how best to improve health-related services for our families. We have produced a commissioning toolkit so health bodies buy in what is needed, and will continue to work with organisations that set standards for quality and clinical guidance.

We wanted to increase the number of families we help and improve the support they get during pregnancy, birth and the first few weeks. We met our target to reach 10 percent of expectant multiples parents on one of our courses (we’re aiming for 15 percent next year) and around 75 percent have received our free guide.

We also want to improve support for our families in the early months and years. Target growth in calls and emails answered by our helpline, Twinline, didn’t materialise, but our support groups and specialist advice services helped a greater number of people overall. We aim to increase this next year.

We hoped to reach 400 parents on our Parenting with Multiples in Mind course for children aged 1-5. We missed the target by 13, but trained up new facilitators which has doubled our capacity for next year.

Finally, we campaigned to improve financial support for our families and you can see the success of this on page 4. We hope you will continue to back our work by fundraising or continuing you membership over the coming year.

My thanks again for your loyal help and support. Yours faithfullyKeith Reed

Welcomeletter from the chief executive

Multiple matters

ESSEnTiaL conTacTS: Twinline and support groups co-ordinator: Carol Clay courses and support officer: Kate Valentine advertising and fundraising officer: Lucie Wigley Membership: Debbie Ross Tamba in northern ireland: Rachel Wiffen 028 9023 9050 nioffice@tamba.org.uk Tamba in Scotland: Helen Peck 01786 465744

helenpeck@tamba.org.uk to advertise in the magazine ring 01483 304442 or email Luciewigley@tamba.org.ukTamba office: 2 The Willows, Gardner Road, Guildford Surrey GU1 4PG Telephone: 01483 304442 Fax: 01483 302483

Email: enquiries@tamba.org.uk Website: www.tamba.org.uk. office Hours: Monday to Friday 9.30am to 4pm. Twinline: telephone freephone helpline 0800 138 0509 (10am-1pm and 7pm-10pm seven days a week)

Designed by mdesign marieclaredesign@gmail.com

REGULARSNews ANd cAMpAiGNs Success for Sure Start Grant campaign ........ 04cLuBs Friendship, support and second-hand kit ..... 13FuNdrAisiNG Thank you to our runners, riders and swimmers ................................................ 16dAd’s corNer Everybody yurts, sometimes ........................ 21FioNA GiBsoN All mixed up – still? ....................................... 23photo GALLerY Two pages of multiple joys ........................... 26Letters Postnatal care and double twins ................... 29MY dAY todAY An Anglo-German childhood ........................ 30

FEATURESwhAt’s GoiNG oN iN there? A guide to scans and pregnancy testing ...... 06Need A BuddY? New scheme for Northern Ireland ............... 07MY storY Brilliant care with TTTS ................................. 08workiNG it out Starting a business after triplets ................... 10Four pLus oNe Wake up and smell the tea ........................... 11NurserY sLopes How to choose a good preschool ................ 12First Aid Busting the myths ........................................ 15ceLeBrAtioN GAMes Twins, Triplets and More Week .................... 18stuck iNdoors? Ideas for entertaining the troops ................. 19stArtiNG schooL Tips for a smooth transition .......................... 22BreAkiNG out? Navigating the teenage years ...................... 24toGether AGAiN The unique bond of opposite-sex twins ...... 25extrA speciAL Caring for twins with different needs ........... 28

MULTIPLE MATTERS - ISSN 2049-5765Charity number 1076478, Scottish Charity Number SC041055, company number3688825.

www.tamba.org.uk 0504 / AUTUMN 2012

news: campaigns

LaTEST RoUnD-UP

tripLet Network

the government is to reinstate pregnancy grants for between 2,000-3,000 of the poorest multiple birth families thanks to a successful campaign by tamba.

the sure start Maternity Grant pays £500 per baby to low-income families to help them set up home for their newborns. But the grant was withdrawn for second and subsequent babies, so families with an older child who found themselves expecting multiples got no help at all.

tom Greatrex Mp, a father of twins, and duncan hames Mp raised the problem in parliament with the secretary of state and arranged a meeting with the minister, steve webb, attended by tamba ceo keith reed and chair of trustees camille de stempel. we brought along a researcher from the New policy institute who we’d commissioned to write a report on benefit changes for our families.

we told the minister that whilst there may be hand-me-downs from a single firstborn, twins, triplets or more bring additional expenses and child benefit payments would have to be redirected from existing children, causing hardship.

half of our families already have

one or more children before having multiples, and 40 percent of these are classified as living in poverty. we had been receiving a small but growing number of requests for help with getting hard goods from families who previously would have been eligible for this support (and we have been trying to help where possible). so we were delighted to receive a letter from the minister confirming his intention to reinstate this support for our families from 29th october.

‘we estimate it will provide £3,000,000 of additional support for some of our very poorest families,’ said keith reed. ‘this comes on the back of our earlier campaigning this year to raise the threshold at which child benefit is withdrawn. we know it’s tough for our families and we are trying to fight their corner at every turn.’

Mp tom Greatrex added: ‘i am delighted that the government has listened to the case made so cogently and coherently by tamba members. At a time when household incomes are being squeezed, this will be some relief to those who face the additional costs of a subsequent multiple birth.’

Lord Nigel Jones, who also helped raise the issue in parliament, told us: ‘i know from personal experience of the additional costs which are inevitable following the birth of twins. Making sure that parents can afford the necessary equipment is vital and i am delighted that my old friend steve webb and the coalition Government have agreed to this grant. i would like to thank all those, including tamba, who have helped in this successful campaign.’

PoLARN o. PyRET polarn o. pyret is

offering fleece jackets worth £39 each for two sets of multiple

siblings. these jackets are perfect

for changeable weather – water resistant, windproof and breathable. they also popper into the polarn o. pyret coats when temperatures drop.

to win simply answer the following question and email it along with your name, address and membership number to giveaways@tamba.org.uk by 30 september, with ‘Giveaway polarn’ in the subject line. prizes go to the first names out of the hat after the deadline. QuestioN: the polarn o. pyret baby and children’s wear brand was started in 1976 in which country?

AUTUMN givEaWayS We have four giveaways to cheer the autumnal season for you, so emails at the ready and here goes...

SKIBzwin these award-winning dribble bibs from skibz along with a set of their Feederz bibs for mealtimes by visiting the website at www.skibz.co.uk and answering this question: how many awards has skibz won? why not choose your favourite design, too, in case you’re lucky enough to win...

email your answer along with your name, address and membership number to giveaways@tamba.org.uk by 30 september, with ‘Giveaway skibz’ in the subject line. prizes go to the first names out of the hat after the deadline.

three tugtrios are on offer, worth £9.99 each. these handy buggy straps consist of the award-winning Buggytug, which connects the parent to the buggy; the toddletug which provides a handle on the buggy for a walking child to hold; and the teddytug which stops teddies being thrown out of the buggy. All are made from the same stretchy fabric as the original Buggytug. All you have to do is answer this question: what colour is the toddletug?

email your answer along with your name, address and membership number to giveaways@tamba.org.uk by 30 september, with ‘Giveaway tug’ in the subject line. prizes go to the first names out of the hat after the deadline.

TUG TRIoS

success!

Tamba has launched a scheme to put families with baby triplets or where triplets are on the way in touch with existing triplet families. Parents can make contact by phone or email and will be matched as far as possible for geographical closeness.

If you are a new or expectant parent of triplets, and would like to be put in contact with someone, email nikkikenyon@tamba.org.uk.

Tamba also organised for triplet parents to attend seminars and talk to expectant parents of triplets. Delphine (above) was still pregnant when she attended a seminar in London last March and met Lucie and Susan, who also have triplets, and several other expectant parents. Delphine’s babies Sacha, Simon and Malo were born in good shape on 21 May at 32 weeks. They spent three weeks in neonatal care putting on weight before going home. She told us: ‘I would like to thank Tamba for arranging the meeting with the two triplet mothers, it helped us to relax and get prepared. We are now very organised and I had a very relaxed and happy pregnancy. It is amazing to be the five of us!’

Triplet Plus scheme puts expectant and new parents in touch with ‘old hands’

Minister reinstates Sure Start Maternity Grant for subsequent multiple births

EARLy READERS we have more early reader treats for you: ‘down in the Jungle’ by Vivian French, ‘Jogger’s Big Adventure’ by Francesca simon, ‘My own special way’ retold by Vivian French and ‘horrid henry’s Author Visit’ by Francesca simon. to win, please email your name, address and membership number to giveaways@tamba.org.uk by 30 september, with ‘Giveaway reader’ in the subject line. prizes go to the first names out of the hat after the deadline.

our campaigning paid off: the government is changing rules that left many of our poorest families without financial help

FAreweLL ANd thANk You to our twiNLiNers

Tamba says a warm thank you and goodbye to a number of volunteers who are leaving Twinline – including one who has been a volunteer for twenty years, almost as long as the confidential helpline has existed.

Among those we must say goodbye to are Jane Purvis, Marion Hall, Judith yorke, Jo Sizmur and Sarah Turner. Thank you all so much.

We are always looking to recruit new volunteer Twinline listeners. The service is entirely staffed by parents of multiples who sign up to cover the slots that suit them, though the service itself is open 10am-1pm and 7pm-10pm every day of the year. If you would consider volunteering, please contact carolclay@tamba.org.uk.

ANteNAtAL cLAsses – roLL up! Tamba’s one-day Antenatal courses – designed specifically for parents expecting multiples – are now available in Exeter, Norwich and Wetherby. The courses are also running in Finchley, Loughton, Chiswick, Guildford, Godstone, Bath, Bristol, Sutton Coldfield and Altrincham.

Tamba also runs two-hour seminars delivered by trained facilitators and parents of multiples throughout the UK. Further information and dates can be found on the Tamba website at www.tamba.org.uk.

correctioN Apologies to Amanda Chubb, who we quoted on page 10 of the last issue as saying that her triplets were in neonatal care for three months – it was actually three weeks.

Delphine’s babies Sacha, Simon and Malo were born at 32 weeks. She said that meeting Tamba’s other triplet mums helped her enjoy a ‘happy and relaxed pregnancy’

our summer giveaway winners are Deborah Clarke of Coulsdon, Surrey (Raggy Tag), Jane Cluff of Abingdon (Green People) and Sarah Linwood of Stotfold, Herts (Early Reader). Congratulations all!

suMMer wiNNers

7www.tamba.org.uk

tamba: regional

06 / AUTUMN 2012

For many parents, the first they know of their twins, triplets or more is when a sonographer reveals two or more tiny babies on the screen at their first ultrasound scan.

If this has just happened to you, congratulations! Reactions vary from joy to downright shock, but if this latter applies then please be reassured that thousands of parents have multiples every year and survive. More than that, most parents find that having twins, triplets or more creates a very special kind of family.

Government guidelines recommend that women expecting multiples access care at around 8-10 weeks, but many women will not know they are having twins until that first scan. Multiple pregnancies tend to be more medically managed than singleton pregnancies. Hospital procedures vary and the only way to find out how your antenatal care will be organised is to check with your doctor or midwife.

you will certainly have several more appointments, although how many and how often will depend on how many babies you are having and how the

As far as testing is concerned, screening tests only predict the likelihood of complications, whereas diagnostic tests can confirm whether or not any of your babies has a certain condition. Some hospitals offer tests routinely, whereas others only test women perceived to be at high risk.

The screening test routinely offered in the first trimester is for Down’s syndrome, which for a twin pregnancy is a nuchal translucency measurement at the back of the babies’ necks taken during the ultrasound scan, plus a blood test. The test sometimes gives a ‘false positive’, particularly in twin and triplet pregnancies, and results will indicate whether there is a high (1 in 50) or low (1 in 5,000) chance of each baby having Down’s syndrome. If the probability is high, a diagnostic test such as amniocentesis or CVS (Chorionic Villus Sampling) will give you a clear yes or no by taking amniotic fluid or tissue from the placenta and identifying foetal cells. These tests are invasive and more complex for multiple pregnancies. Talk over the risks with your consultant.

If you’d like to know more about any aspect of your pregnancy – from how to stay comfortable to your rights at work and maternity leave – there is a wealth of information in Tamba’s guide, Healthy Multiple Pregnancy, which you can download from our website. Good luck, and enjoy your pregnancy.

pregnancy progresses. you will have more frequent appointments if you are expecting monochorionic twins (sharing a placenta) or higher order multiples, or if anything arises in your pregnancy that needs regular monitoring.

Ultrasound scans check the babies’ growth, health and position, and you are likely to have several during your pregnancy. The first scan usually confirms the number of foetuses, how many placentas there are, and whether the babies are in separate or single amniotic sacs. At 18-22 weeks, all pregnant women have an anomaly scan to check the position of the placenta/s and that the babies are developing normally. During the third trimester, you will probably have several scans to check how the babies are growing and their relative positions.

National guidelines recommend that dichorionic twins (with separate placentas) be scanned every four weeks from 20 weeks’ gestation. Monochorionic twins are usually scanned fortnightly from 16 weeks. A scan at 34 weeks determines the position of the leading baby to help plan the birth.

pregnancy: scans and testing

your belly is getting bigger and all manner of specialists want a peek inside. erika Fraser, Tamba’s honorary consultant, explains what scans and testing are all about

WHAT’S GoING oN IN THERE?

help and infoprEGNANCy

• download our healthy pregnancy Guide and expecting More than one booklets from www.tamba.org.uk, or watch the expecting More than one dVd online. You can also download guides on Neonatal care, ttts and

postnatal depression

• Book a place on our antenatal courses or our practical preparing for parenthood class via the website or

ring 01483 304442

• talk to expectant parents on tamba’s members-only messageboard or visit

the twins club page to find your nearest club – expectant parents are

always warmly welcomed

• ring twinline, tamba’s freephone listening service, to discuss any

concerns on 0800 138 0509, open 10am to 1pm and 7pm to 10pm daily

it has been an enormously busy year at Tamba in northern ireland, not least because we have just launched our Buddy Service, which enables members who sign up to be linked with others bringing up multiples in the same area.

often it is people with newborns who want the contact, or it may be they want to meet a family with older multiples so they know what is ahead of them. or it could be families with similar aged children who are looking for friendship.

Families taking part give their contact details, such as mobile numbers, and what time of day they would like to be contacted. once they have been paired up, they can text or have a chat over the phone. Families have often come back to Tamba and said they didn’t even know there was a family with twins living so close, and thanks to the buddy service they have forged a friendship and now go to twins group together.

Tamba antenatal evenings in our local hospitals have been a big thing here this year. At one hospital in Craigavon we had over 15 couples present, all due in July. With the help of a midwife, we covered topics including birth, sleeping positions, useful equipment (prams, car seats, high chairs and baby monitors), what to pack in your hospital bags, and ways of coping once the babies are born.

Thanks to the Big Lottery Fund, this year Tamba NI was able to take these classes even further. Through a project called Twins Clinics, and with the help of Professor Helen Ball who did a study on co-bedding twins, and Professor Pat Preedy who devised a programme on play and movement with multiples, we were able to invite our parents back once their multiples

if you need a buddy...rachel wiffen, head of Tamba in Northern Ireland, on latest news from the province as well as the new Buddy Service for parents

had been born to fantastic sessions on each topic.As Northern Ireland is relatively small in numbers compared

to England, we continue to run five fun-days a year at venues throughout the province. This year saw our biggest event yet at Streamvale Farm, Dundonald, where 38 families attended, all with multiples. It was a great day. over the years, many friendships have been made and these events bring everyone together. It is lovely to see the older children getting together with their friends. In June, we trialled a new venue in Newry which is near the border, and it was great to have two visiting families from the south at our event.

We have nine twins groups in Northern Ireland and this year saw the launch of Bangor Mummies, a group that meets without the children. I was invited to speak at the group a few

weeks ago about coping with older multiples and was shocked to find over twenty people there, all with multiples under the age of four. It was lovely to see them all supporting each other, and at the last meeting before the summer holidays they were going to be having a Chinese takeaway night.

I hope this provides you with an insight into the activities within the region, and if any member is over on holiday, we would be delighted to see you at one of our events.

Families enjoyed a fun-day at Newry,one of five events run by Tamba inNorthern Ireland this year

www.tamba.org.uk

early warning

one of the problems with giving birth early is the lack of preparation, said Morrck’s founder isobel thompson, whose twin girls arrived at 30 weeks.

‘My antenatal classes were booked for after the girls actually arrived,’ she told us, ‘so i’d had no heads-up about the possibility of the

babies arriving this early, the likelihood of spending time in a neonatal unit and the fact that you may not be near home when you give birth.’

Looking back, she said she’d had no emotional preparation either for what happens on the neonatal unit. ‘Multiples

are more likely to arrive early, so it’s important that there is a clear, more specific and earlier plan,’ said isobel. ‘this is why tamba’s work is so important, and why we at Morrck have supported the new Neonatal care guide, so expectant parents can get the information they need.’

pArENTs OF prEMATurE BABIEs NEEd ALL THE HELp THEy CAN GET, wHICH Is wHy MOrrCk suppOrTs

TAMBA’s NEONATAL CArE GuIdE

08 / AUTUMN 2012 09

We found out our babies were monochorionic diamniotic at the first scan – the first we knew that we were expecting twins at all.

Straight afterwards we started to read up. Monochorionic dyamniotic babies share a placenta but have separate amniotic sacs. While most babies in this situation are fine, there is a risk of TTTS – Twin-to-Twin Transfusion Syndrome.

We tried to stay positive, but during the follow-up appointment our midwife was obviously not clear about the risks with this type of pregnancy. The clinic consultant had booked my next scan for 20 weeks. After reading that TTTS can happen as early as 12 weeks, I called the antenatal clinic.

We were referred to a specialist

neonatal: ttts

My storyLindsay Nunn’s 12-week scan was a triple shock: two babies, each identical to the other and sharing a placenta

help and infopOOrLy BABIEs

• order or download tamba’s free guides on healthy Multiple pregnancy,

Neonatal care or twin-to-twin-transfusion syndrome from our website

at www.tamba.org.uk

• Book a one-day Antenatal or two-hour practical preparing for parenthood

class through the website, or watch our specialist consultants answer your

questions online

• ring twinline, tamba’s freephone listening service, to talk over any

concerns on 0800 138 0509, open daily 10am-1pm and 7pm-10pm

what, we were not yet sure – and a 1pm flight to Gatwick. By 5pm I was being scanned again and making the decision to accept laser ablation, which would separate the blood vessels joining the babies’ circulation. Between Jersey and Gatwick, Twin 1 had lost all amniotic fluid and was pushed up against the uterus wall covered by the membrane. The risks of miscarriage were far outweighed by the risks to the babies if we did nothing.

We expected an operating theatre but were taken to a cosy sideroom with a scanner and a TV screen. We were asked if we minded students observing and a sea of people arrived. My husband and I were too engrossed to care, and besides, if it meant they were learning how to help other parents, all the better.

The team were incredible, led by Professor Nicolaides, an authority on TTTS. They were jovial throughout while somehow managing to perform the most incredible surgery. I could feel popping as the vessels were lasered but it wasn’t uncomfortable.

We watched everything on the screen

and saw our babies for the first time – a life-changing moment, with joy clouded by fear of the outcome.

By 9pm it had been twelve hours since diagnosis, and the team at King’s were still working away. A scan showed both babies had survived, but the next 12 hours would be crucial. During the scan I had a contraction and was also leaking from the entry wound so I was admitted overnight. The next morning the results were positive: both babies doing well and the fluid levels beginning to balance out. A massive relief.

We remained in London for two weeks having regular scans before being signed over to Jersey General Hospital. I drank protein shakes in the hope that this would aid with the babies’ growth.

The next 13 weeks crawled past. Each fortnightly scan was nerve-wracking. At 28 weeks I was admitted with a scare and had steroid injections to help the babies’ lungs develop. Two weeks later I went into labour proper. At 30 weeks and one day, our beautiful daughters zara Fiona, the ‘donor’, weighing 3lbs 3oz, and Layla

consultant who was fantastic. I was to be scanned every two weeks, and at my next scan everything was fine.

At 17 weeks, as I walked into the room my consultant’s face said it all. I felt larger since my last check-up but had no symptoms and thought it was normal. The scan confirmed TTTS, which meant blood was passing from one baby to the other. Twin 1, the ‘donor’, had hardly any amniotic fluid and a very small bladder, while Twin 2, the ‘recipient’, had far too much.

We live in Jersey with no TTTS specialists to hand, so several phone calls later I was referred to King’s College London for an appointment the same day. A 9.30am scan had turned into a mad dash home to pack – for

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to view our range, please visit www.

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sale, Morrck donates £1 to Tamba to aid its work supporting families with babies

in neonatal care.

Nicola, the ‘recipient’, weighing 2bs 11oz, were delivered by C-section and whisked off to the Special Care Baby Unit (SCBU).

Both girls were ventilated for two days and thereafter breathing on their own. The next week was a blur – a mass of machines, wires and strange noises which soon became all too familiar. zara progressed well but Layla was diagnosed with a heart condition and flown to Southampton for surgery. The operation was a success and after four days we returned to Jersey.

Both girls continued to thrive. The transition from incubator to cot and feeding happened so quickly. After seven weeks in SCBU we were discharged on Christmas Eve – our family were together for the most magical time of the year, and all under one roof.

Born at 30 weeks, the babies spent seven weeks in SCBU

Layla, left, and Zara aged eight days with dad – together for the first time

Lindsay found out she was expecting twins at her first scan

10 / AUTUMN 2012 11www.tamba.org.uk

baby: lifestyle column: four plus one

WoRKING IT oUTWhen entrepreneur sally overhead found that her third baby was actually three, she began thinking how to make employment easier for mums

Work helps make me who i am, so when i fell pregnant with triplets – my daughters Evie and Marcie were just four and one – not working was never an option.

I was running my own business and we needed my income. As the shock wore off and we entered first the viable and then the safer zones of pregnancy, we made plans.

I didn’t know anyone with triplets but through the Tamba website, Fertility Friends and later on Facebook, I met other triplet parents. Contrary to the beliefs of the general public, they weren’t planned (how do you plan triplets?). We were elated when they were born safely at 35 weeks.

Childcare costs are a real problem for mums with multiples. We decided I would work school hours while a childminder watched the babies, and continue to do the school runs and be at home in the afternoons with my older two.

our new childminder started during the late stages of my pregnancy. My

help and infoTHrEE Or MOrE

• Log in to the website at www.tamba.org.uk to see a video with Maggie

Brierton, tamba’s honorary consultant clinical psychologist, answering

questions on being a parent to triplets

• talk to other triplet parents on tamba’s members-only messageboard

or visit the twins club page to find your nearest multiples club

• ring twinline, tamba’s freephone listening service, to discuss any concerns on 0800 138 0509, open 10am to 1pm

and 7pm to 10pm daily

caring for baby triplets sALLy’s TOp TIps

• Bulk-order nappies, wipes and formula on special offer. You can get through 30 nappies a day, a pack of wipes and a tub of formula every two days, so have loads spare.

• if one needs changing, change them all. it’s easier and takes less time.

• Accept hand-me-downs: triplets are expensive and babies grow fast.

• sleep them side-by-side in a cotbed next to you so you can get to them before they wake each other up.

• three screaming babies is hard to handle: don’t wait till they are hungry.

• Mark bottles with the babies’ initials in a permanent marker pen so you can see who drank what (and don’t end up feeding the same baby twice!).

• plan feeding before the babies are born. My husband would do the 10pm feed downstairs then put the babies in the cotbed. As soon as they stirred for the 2am feed i would ‘dream feed’ the one stirring most, then the other two.

• don’t worry about your babies being the same weight or doing the same things: they are different babies and will catch up eventually.

husband and I looked after the babies and she watched how we did things. Realising what a struggle it would have been to go back to work had I not been working for myself, and admitting (reluctantly) that my current business

wasn’t falling apart without me, I decided to start a new venture, Mojomums, to help mums reignite their careers.

Mojomums has an online community that offers support, advice and practical services, with a recruitment side to place mums in jobs according to their lifestyle needs and expertise. We hope to add a section just for multiples mums.

My babies are now 14 months old and I won’t pretend it has been easy. I am always in a rush to get somewhere and with only one child in full-time school, I already struggle to keep on top of book bags and letters. But I feel that working makes me a better mum.

Sally Overhead founded Mojomums, at www.mojomums.co.uk

Five a day: Sally’s children Ayda, Evie, Phoebe, Marcie and Noah

WAkE UP ANd SMELL THE TEA

Being given a ‘no lifting’ order when you’ve got two-year-old triplets does make life a little complicated. Just getting them out of their cots is a task in itself and i’ve developed a clever left-handed manoeuvre which has me hoisting them up and over the bar without any involvement from my sore and tender right side.

Let me explain. Back in 2010, when the triplets were six months old, I was diagnosed with breast cancer. My partner and I had recently separated so I found myself ‘home alone’ with our three beautiful babies and older son, Jake, facing months of gruelling treatment. After the mastectomy I wasn’t allowed to lift for about eight weeks, and not being able to cuddle the babies properly, give them their baths and do all those normal day-to-

day ‘mum’ things was very hard. Eighteen months on and the reason

for my current incapacity is much more positive – reconstructive surgery. yippee! I hope this marks the end of a tough chapter. So, it’s without too much complaining that I face the day, counting my blessings that I’m currently healthy and well. And if I do sometimes have to drag myself out of bed, the welcome I get as I open the babies’ bedroom door puts an immediate spring in my step.

Ella is the first to demand freedom

There’s nothing like a crisis for making you realise how lucky you are, writes emma campbell

from her gro-bag and once her feet touch the ground she’s off, confidently heading for the stairs and calling out to her big brother as she goes. Theo, once free, gathers up every single muslin he can find and is often seen padding along the landing carrying at least six or seven. Louis takes things a step further and refuses to leave the room without his dummy, muslin, gro-bag and duvet, so by the time they are all settled downstairs watching CBeebies and drinking milk the living room resembles a campsite. Jake, now eight, often comes down wrapped in his duvet and, as I sip my tea, the sight of the four of them piled on the sofa melts my heart.

Changing the first of about fifteen nappies is often done with one hand whilst scanning through the TV listings with the other as Theo makes snorting noises which means Peppa Pig is required and Louis choo-choos for Thomas. I’m probably making a fundamental parenting mistake but it does often seem as though whoever shouts the loudest wins. I try to adhere to the tally in my head of what’s fair and who’s turn it is, but don’t always succeed.

Ella, Theo and Louis love taking Jake to school, probably for all the attention they get. The boys are natural flirts and wrap themselves round my legs, looking up from under ridiculously long eyelashes. Ella runs in among the crowds of older children.

There are days when I feel overwhelmed – long afternoons when it’s too wet to go outside, the

squabbling is out of control and the house in disarray. But even then, there’s always a moment that makes it all worthwhile. ours is a noisy, messy, chaotic house but I wouldn’t have it any other way and so, when I close their bedroom door at night and creep downstairs, although I usually feel like the most tired mum in the world, I also feel like the luckiest.

Read more from Emma’s blog at http://meandmyfour-emplus4.blogspot.co.uk/

Emma with her older son Jake and Ella, Theo and Louis, who

were six months old when she was diagnosed with breast cancer

Ours is a noisy, messy, chaotic house but I wouldn’t have it any other way

12 / AUTUMN 2012 13www.tamba.org.uk

pre-school: daycare

clubs virtually every area in Britain has some sort of twins club, but they provide more than just support networks. Most will arrange all manner of events and entertainments that bring together multiples and their mums and dads for mutual support and fun. But they also act as a useful informal market, and one where you can get an honest opinion about what equipment you really need, too.

Multiple Madness in Rossendale, Lancashire meets every two weeks (first and third Tuesday in term-time, 9.30-11.30am) at Haslingden Community Link and Children’s Centre. one mum who first went while pregnant said: ‘It was good to get advice on nursery items such as the best pram to buy – there is so much on the market, and it is so easy to be sucked in by all the marketing. I knew that what other mums were telling me was a more accurate reflection of how good the pram was.’

Johnny Pearce attends the Fareham and Gosport Twin Club, which has Friday morning sessions alternating between a Sure Start centre and a nursery. ‘The main reasons for going aren’t just to entertain the children,’ said Johnny, ‘though it is a brilliant way of getting them out of the house and interacting with other children, but to give you or

businesses for its members. ‘Having twins or more is expensive,’ said Johnny, ‘and it is great when companies realise this and offer a second or subsequent item or ticket at half price. If it wasn’t for twins club, we would not have known that a local swimming school allows the second twin to have half-price swimming lessons in a private hydro-therapy heated pool, where the instructor only has a maximum of four children. Result!’

Katharyn, who also goes to Fareham and Gosport, told us the main advantage was that it gave her contact with mums of older twins who ‘are happy to share their wisdom and top tips on how to deal with different stages of development. No matter how hard it is to get out the door sometimes, sitting down with a cup of tea and talking to another mum or dad who completely understands always makes things seem better.’

Max, a dad of multiples, added: ‘For me, twins club was a lifeline when one was needed – a place to get me out of the house where I knew it was going to be oK when I got there, not feeling alone with two crying babies. It’s a place where I met very good friends who I know understand and I can count on when needed.’

Find your nearest twins club at www.tamba.org.uk

help and infosTArTING NursEry

• tamba has an information sheet, ‘A teacher’s Guide to twins, triplets

or More in school’, which you can give to staff

• download tamba’s guide, ‘twins, triplets and More: Years 2, 3, and 4’

from the website at www.tamba.org.uk. You can also watch our ‘parenting with

Multiples in Mind’ d Vd online, or sign up for tamba’s one-day parenting workshop

for those with children aged 1-5

• ring twinline, tamba’s freephone listening service, to talk to someone

about any concerns on 0800 138 0509, open 10am to 1pm and 7pm to

10pm daily

children may think it’s all about messy fun, but for parents, clubs are also a source of useful tips and even second-hand gear

pre-school: support

Nursery slopeschoosing a nursery starts with research: all nurseries must be registered with ofsted, and you can read reports from ofsted inspections online. But the most useful information often comes from other parents.

you need to feel happy and confident in the nursery; look at several and compare, then go back for a second visit. Take your children so you can see which ones they feel most comfortable in, and how the staff interact with and involve them.

There is no such thing as a silly question, so ask away (take a list with you in preparation). you should come away

from a nursery feeling fully informed. Check that the nursery understands

and respects the special relationship that multiples have. Ask questions specifically about how they will meet the needs of your children, and find out how the nursery will work with your children as individuals. Think about your children’s individual interests and how the nursery might support these.

Settling-in varies from nursery to nursery. Some do a home visit where your children’s key worker/s (members of staff assigned to your children who provide day-to-day care) come to visit before the children start at the nursery.

Many settings will want you to stay with your children initially, and then over a period of visits leave for an hour or so, gradually increasing to ensure a gentle transition.

It helps if you talk about nursery at home. Make this a positive activity: introduce books about starting nursery and discuss the activities the children might do there.

It is normal for children to be apprehensive. With more than one child, you may notice that one is more nervous or one seems more excited. Try not to compare their reactions or their different approaches to this transition. Keep in mind too that children often react to nursery with tears or wobbly moments, this is normal and the staff will have dealt with it many times before.

This is an exciting time, but it can also be daunting. Approach it together with a positive attitude and you will soon find that it becomes a part of everyday life – and you’ll be recommending your nursery to another family.

Finding a good setting for your children need not be daunting, writes claire Burgess, education lecturer at Norland College

tamba tipsCHOOsING A prEsCHOOL

• Ask if there is a written twins policy. the best policies state that every situation is different and the needs of every child are assessed individually.

• if each child has a different key worker it may be easier to discuss progress without making comparisons.

• talk to staff to find out their attitudes about twins. dispel any myths.

• Make sure staff know your children

need to be called by their own names (not ‘the twins’) and have their own friends and interests.

• talk to your children individually about nursery, including how they will each make new friends, so they can voice individual fears and expectations.

• Make it easy for children and staff to tell your children apart if they are identical or similar, perhaps through different clothing or hairstyles.

Whatever the weather, they get together: Fareham and Gosport Twin Club refused to be rained off and took their annual summer barbeque indoors this year – though a few brave souls ventured out when the skies cleared

your partner a break and an excuse to leave behind the four walls of home for a bit. Even more important is the opportunity to meet other parents of multiples who are further along the journey than you and from whom you can garner really useful advice.’

Johnny described his local twins club as ‘like a hassle-free eBay amongst friends’ – but unlike eBay, at twins club you can ask other parents first what equipment was really useful, and what they did or didn’t need multiples of, so you don’t end up buying useless or extra items.

Fareham & Gosport club has also been setting up discounts with local

www.tamba.org.uk

health: accidents

First Aid: the MYths all parents have to play the nurse from time to time over grazes and bumps, but occasionally an incident happens that can have a better outcome if parents remember a few first aid rules.

A senior sister at a paediatric hospital in Surrey once told me that parents need to familiarise themselves with what to do if a child has a burn, because immediate action can make a big difference. ‘If parents know what to do when a child burns or scalds itself,

we would have far less need for skin grafts and plastic surgery,’ she said.

Below are some common first aid misconceptions, many of them handed down the generations.

MyTHS:

BurNs: ‘put butter/antiseptic cream on it’Never put butter or antiseptic cream on a burn. Instead, cool the burn under cool running water for at least ten minutes to stop the burning and relieve the pain. If cold water is not available, use another cold, harmless liquid such as milk. Apply a non-fluffy dressing.

Nose BLeeds: ‘hold the child’s head back and pinch the bridge of the nose’Sit the child down with the head tilted forward and pinch the fleshy part of the nostrils together for ten minutes. Remember to tell the child to breathe through the mouth and spit any blood into a bowl or tissue.

poisoNiNG: ‘Make the child vomit’Never induce vomiting as it could burn or block the airway. Try to find out what has been swallowed and how much, and seek professional medical advice.

BurnsA CHECkLIsT

• cool the burn with cold running water for at least ten minutes. if cold water is not available, use another cold, harmless liquid such as milk

• Get medical help for any burn or scald which is larger than a 50p coin. A young child’s burn should always be seen by a doctor, preferably at A&e

• remember to keep calm and give lots of comfort and reassurance to the child

• do not remove burnt clothing which has stuck to the skin; burnt clothing is sterile and will protect the wound.

• remove carefully any jewellery, belts, restrictive clothing or footwear (that is not stuck to the skin) from the injured area before it begins to swell

• cover the burn with a clean, dry, non-fluffy dressing and secure loosely. A plastic bag or piece of cling film is ideal

• do not put butter, oil or any sort of grease or lotion on a burn or scald – these can cause further damage and increase the risk of infection

• do not apply sticking plasters or any other type of adhesive dressing to the skin – they will cause pain and damage when removed

• do not break blisters – you may introduce infection into the wound

• do not give the child anything to eat or drink, with the exception of painkillers (give the recommended dose)

roma Felstein warns that some hand-me-down treatments can do more harm than good when what your children need is first aid

chokiNG: ‘stick your fingers down the child’s throat’Never stick your fingers down a child’s throat as you could cause further obstruction or cause the airway to swell. Start by bending the child forward from the waist and give five sharp back blows between the shoulder blades, using the heel of your hand.

epiLepsY: ‘put something in the child’s mouth for them to bite on’Never put anything in the mouth of a child during a seizure. your priority is to keep the child safe until professional medical help arrives. Move furniture or any other obstructions out of the way. Keep calm so that you can reassure and comfort the child.

Roma Felstein founded Safe and Sound, which runs first aid courses for parents and carers

Finding a holiday to suit our family of six was a challenge until my first phone call to Brackenborough Hall coach House.

Paul and Flora Bennett run their three self-catering apartments with so much attention to detail that all you have to worry about is packing your clothes. Multiples are so well catered for that there’s no need to cram highchairs, sterilisers, cots, bedding or even toys into your car. Nothing is too much trouble for this lovely couple, who are parents of twins themselves and Tamba members too. They are on hand 24/7 and will do their utmost to make your stay comfortable.

The surrounding countryside is stunning, with plenty of family-friendly places to visit. The grounds of Brackenborough Hall with their walks,

Brackenborough hallNicola and Rob Eastwood have a family favourite for holidays with their children Morgan, Charlie and 16-month-old Amber and Jaide

Three Tamba families – including four sets of twins – took over the Brackenborough Hall Coach House over half term. Here are the Yeardleys (on the left) and the Eastwoods

trails and wooded areas are more than enough for Rob’s older boys, who love having the freedom to explore and ride their bikes. Paul is always happy to give a tour of the farm (and even a ride on the combine harvester at the right time of year).

The visitors’ book is bursting with happy guests – testament to Paul and Flora’s passion for their business. It is one of those places that I tell everyone I know about, before quickly rushing to my laptop to secure next year’s booking!

For more information and your 10 percent discount as Tamba members visit www.BrackenboroughHall.com or contact Paul and Flora on 01507 603193, 07974 687779 or paulandflora@BrackenboroughHall.com

16 / AUTUMN 2012 17www.tamba.org.uk

fundraising

HELPING HANdS... and feetAs always, we at Tamba have to say a huge Thank you! to the members who get out there on their bikes or in their running shoes or swimming costumes to fund our work. Every time we are able to help a multiple birth family in difficulties, it is a tribute to your efforts to keep our charity going. A relatively small amount of money can do a huge amount to change people’s lives for the better, so if you’d like to join our fundraising efforts, please do get in touch.

two for allIt’s five years since Ruth Simpkins’s daughters Daisy and Emily were born: time to reflect, and to give something back

Ruth and Ian Simpkins found Tamba’s help invaluable during a complicated pregnancy and time in hospital with poorly babies

sore away successA brave few took on the Nightrider cycling challenge for Tamba

Rebecca and PeterSteve Wass with Glenn Pollard.

as if to prove that anyone can raise money for Tamba, pupils

from claire Humpidge’s dance school held a fundraising show in Radford, coventry, featuring performers from the age of four up to 17. a truly

splendid raffle – prizes included tickets for home games at both coventry city Fc and coventry Blaze ice hockey,

as well as a holiday in Spain – raised a grand £477 for Tamba. claire, mum to identical twins Flo (front left on her lap) and Lola, said: ‘i’m over the moon that this money will go to support the fantastic work of your charity, helping parents and professionals

meet the unique challenges that multiple birth families face.’

For a 1 in 63 chance of winning a cash prize just play our new lottery! From every £1 ticket, half goes to Tamba to help us raise the £200,000 a year over and above membership fees we need to run our services – things like Twinline, our freephone helpline, and all the free booklets and factsheets we provide via our website.

To PLay THE UniTy LoTTERy anD SUPPoRT TaMBa, FiLL in THE EncLoSED FoRM oR viSiT www.unitylottery.co.uk anD cHooSE TaMBa aS yoUR cHaRiTy.

When we saw the article asking for volunteers to run in the British 10k for Tamba, my husband Ian and I decided it was time to give something back and signed up.

As parents of identical girls, we have found Tamba tremendously useful and supportive. We joined when we found out we were expecting monochorionic diamniotic twins (shared placentas, separate amniotic sacs) in 2007. The girls were at risk of Twin-to-Twin Transfusion Syndrome. I remember ringing Tamba’s helpline, Twinline, and asking for information. I spoke to someone who had twins herself and was incredibly understanding, reassuring and helpful. The advice I received ensured that I requested consultant-led care and regular monitoring throughout the rest of my pregnancy.

When the girls were born at 35 weeks, weighing 3lbs 3ozs and 4lbs 6ozs, I felt overwhelmed by the enormity of being mum to two tiny, fragile babies. I remember finding Tamba’s help sheets on feeding and sleeping really helpful. I also remember reading Multiple Matters articles and feeling so reassured that there were other parents of multiples out there who had been or were going through the same things as us. When we all eventually came home from hospital I soon found my local twins club. I’m sure the group helped save my sanity in those early days. It was so good to spend time with other parents going through the same thing as us at the same time. I made what I’m sure will be lifelong friends.

The girls are just coming to the end of their reception year at school – how time flies. once again, Tamba’s advice on school applications proved useful: all along the way, Tamba has been there helping us as parents of multiples.

We ran the British 10k in 1 hour, 4 minutes and 20 seconds. It was a great atmosphere despite the rain, and I felt proud that we managed to raise a few hundred pounds to help keep Tamba going whilst pounding the wet streets of London. If you are thinking of doing something as a parent of multiples to raise money for Tamba then my advice is to do it – it’ll make you feel great!

As if parents don’t have enough to keep them from a good night’s sleep, some of our tougher members took on the Nightrider challenge – a 100km circular cycling route by moonlight around London’s famous sights.

Steve Wass and Glenn Pollard were among those putting on their cycle helmets for Tamba, with a grand result of £500 raised.

Rebecca Capper, who cycled with her other half, Peter, had this to say: ‘We were really proud to take part in the Nightrider challenge on behalf of Tamba. Since becoming parents to our lovely twin boys Isaac and Samuel, we have really appreciated the information and resources available from Tamba. We especially found the Parenting with Multiples in Mind course very useful. Being able to chat to parents with twins of a similar age, facing similar challenges was brilliant. It has been great to be able to raise funds so that other parents can also receive invaluable help and support.’

Rebecca says she has now just about recovered after completing the event in 9 hours and 14 minutes – Peter got there in 7 hours and 17 minutes. Thank you all!

A big thank you to twin mum Hilary Corley, who raised more than £215 at the Great Manchester Swim in July despite having her original Great North Swim cancelled owing to heavy weather.

Hilary and three-year-old Phoebe and Hannah had a great day at Salford Quays instead. ‘Tamba and our local twins group have been a continuing source of information and support since my husband Edward and I found out we were having twins,’ said Hilary, ‘so raising this money for Tamba has been a small way to try to repay this.’

Phoebe and Hannah Corley with mum Hilary

cold courage Two parents who lost premature twins are to cycle 325 miles in November to raise money for Tamba’s work for multiple birth families as well as Tommy’s, which funds research into miscarriage, premature birth and stillbirth.

Bethany and Steve Morris lost Harriet and Felicity in July, and will be marking the babies’ due date this autumn by cycling from their home in Crowborough, East Sussex to Northallerton, North yorkshire, where the babies were born. They also hope to raise awareness of the campaign to save the maternity and paediatric units at the Friarage Hospital in Northallerton.

With a target of £10,000, the couple have recruited friends and family to join them in their Born Silently campaign. If you would like to donate please visit their justgiving site at www.justgiving.com/teams/bornsilently and choose Tamba.

Born silentlywiN!£25,000

oN tAMBA’s

LotterY

Sarah coleman said she was ‘stunned’ to find out she’d won first prize in the Tamba raffle.

‘i’m just days away from meeting my boy/girl twins and this raffle win couldn’t have come at a more opportune time,’ she told us. ‘as a single mum-to-be, it will help enormously in securing that buggy i’ve had my eye on.’

Sarah joined Tamba after seeing two

flickering heartbeats at her first pregnancy scan, and attended a Practical

Preparing for Parenthood Seminar. She told us: ‘it was great to meet others, discuss all things multiple and take away advice from those with first-hand experience. i also love the fact that Tamba offer free booklet downloads and have a listening service.’

congratulations!

19www.tamba.org.uk

focus: playcelebrations: TT&M week

Multiples up and down the country combined cakes and dashing about as only youngsters (comfortably) can for this year’s Twins, Triplets and More Week in July.

At Newmarket in Suffolk, Peas in a Pod Twins and Multiples Group held a cupcake party, while Telford Twins or More Club had a fancy dress jamboree. ‘We created an out-of-this world space which all the children enjoyed,’ said Telford member Sarah Whitefoot. ‘We even celebrated a set of twins’ first birthdays.’ Bracknell Twins Club held its own Twin olympics, painting flags on the children’s faces before holding an opening ceremony with a parade of olympic torches made the previous week at Toddler Group, followed by a picnic, football, sack race, tug of war and bouncy castle. A Community Games grant contributed £250 towards the cost, providing equipment for future use at Toddler Group and any other events to keep children (and parents) active.

oLYMpic whAt?

Who needs an international sporting event when you can toddle off to twins, triplets and More week parties for free...

i love our children dearly but the prospect of a day indoors with nothing planned fills me with horror. aside from the moans (‘i’m bored!’), games so often turn into arguments and then something (or somebody) gets broken.

So here are a few ideas that work with two or more sets of hands to occupy. With any luck the bickering will stop, the fun will begin and you will remember why it feels good to spend time together.

Drawing on the floorStick three or four sections of lining paper on a hard floor with masking tape. Let the children use pens, crayons, stencils etc to draw ‘on the floor’. Plenty of space for everyone and the novelty factor works wonders.

Make your own storyWrite the outline of a story on some large sheets of paper (A3 folded like a book works well) leaving several blanks. Read it

STUck inDooRS? JUST GET STUCK IN...

top tipssTAy AHEAd OF THE GAME

• Get doubles or more of basics like glue spreaders, paint brushes, sticky tape rolls and felt tips so the kids don’t have to share everything.

• if you lack table space, use a large plastic sheet on the floor – just make sure little feet stay away from the glue pots.

• set up in advance if you can: this lessens the danger of lots of little hands getting involved before you are ready, and makes it less stressful.

• Make clearing up part of the game, or have a parent-free plan for once the activity is done (such as building a lego maze or playing balloon tennis) so you can get things straight in relative peace.

to them, getting them to fill in the blanks by writing the words, using stickers or drawing pictures. If using stickers spread them all out on the table so they can see what might work. They will enjoy you reading the story back to them and feel proud at what they’ve created.

Broken biscuit cake2.5 tablespoons of sugar5 tablespoons of cocoa2.5 tablespoons of syrup290g/10oz margarineApprox 570g/1¼lbs of broken digestive biscuits

Heat the margarine gently in a pan with the sugar and syrup. Divide up the broken biscuits in clean sandwich bags (one per child), tied securely, and let your children bash them until they are all broken. A child’s rolling pin is best for bashing, but even a toy hammer works. Add the broken biscuits to the mixture. Line a tin with greaseproof paper or tin foil, add the mixture and leave to set in the fridge. Sprinkle icing sugar over the top, cut and serve.

Match your children’s baby weight Put the kitchen scales on the floor, as long as they are not too delicate or valuable. Find a container that can sit on top and tell your children what their weights were when they were born. Get them to find items around the house that add up to those weights when in the container, eg a bottle of squash, bag of pasta, pens. If the weight is too much or too little, they have to substitute items. Children are fascinated to learn that they weighed the same as these items and will enjoy trying to lift the container.

Balloon tennisPlayers hit a balloon back and forth to each other using their hands. Use a net if required (eg the sofa pulled away from the wall) and see who gets the longest rally.

Masking tape race trackClear a space on the carpet and use a roll of masking tape to mark out a race track or small network of roads. Depending on your children’s age, you may want to do this in advance, or you could get them really involved in planning it on a piece of paper and then recreating it on the floor.

Sarah Berryman is founder of gettingstuckin.co.uk, providing inspiring ideas for indoor fun

Twin mum sarah Berryman is nothing daunted by a spot of rain in the afternoon. Here’s her recipe for avoiding the bickering blues

21www.tamba.org.uk

column: dad’s corner

Everybody yurts...

cap it all, off we’d glamp with other twin parents, who share and care with exactly the same ups and downs as we do.

In fact it was a rather enjoyable ‘new experience’. Being outside was fun and the kids loved it. Rural Gateshead in Gibside National Trust grounds is splendid. you could be a million miles from a town, yet our home was only five miles away.

All the home comforts were a walk – but the kids loved going with torches to the toilet in the dark, with a beautiful full moon in the sky. Admittedly it was cold and a bit rainy but that made coming home to a warm bed and bath amazing in itself.

Being close to home and not having a journey to get there was great. No stress at the start and end of the trip. I even went

home to feed the cat. Incidentally, that’s another

new experience I have endured – I mean enjoyed. Ruth, our eldest, wanted a pet, and I caved in after hearing that ‘caring for an animal will be a new experience for the kids’. It would still be a new experience

for any other member of the family to clean out his litter tray. Just when I’d got the hang of yurting, we are apparently

ready for another new experience: a weekend in a proper tent. The readymade yurt is old news now and putting up a six-man tent is going to be part of the fun, so I’m told. Sounds like plain old hard work to me.

This time I have been more canny and struck a bargain. I get to watch the football in our front room uninterrupted for the whole ninety minutes. No one is allowed to change the channel or disco dance in front of the screen.

Uninterrupted relaxation? Now that will be a new experience.

new experiences are something my wife is rather keener on than me – and she has loads of ideas up her sleeve.

Moving house was her idea. Going on our first overseas hols on a plane with three kids under three... yes, hers. She even persuaded me a second child would be a breeze – except it was twins, and a totally new experience.

But everything is a new experience with twins or more. Holidays are often tricky. We relish the opportunity to get away but know the immediate obstacles, particularly when the kids are young.

And I still didn’t see it coming: ‘What do you think about camping with the boys and Ruth?’ she asked innocently one evening – during probably the wettest summer on record. ‘It’ll be a great new experience for the kids.’

Camping is something I have fond memories of from childhood. The cooking of beans on an open campfire. The

rain pattering on the tent as you drift off to sleep. Those sort of fond memories. Totally nostalgic. Totally unrealistic.

What I realise now as a dad of three is that the fondness of childhood reminiscence comes from the fact that the tent erecting and car loading were done by someone else, and as for the lack of sleep and the cold, well, we were oblivious to the problems when we were young.

So instead of that, we opted for a bit of glamping in something called a yurt. And we decided not to spend a small fortune travelling miles away – no, we would glamp on our own doorstep, the beautiful rural Gateshead. And to

The fondness of childhood reminiscence comes from the fact that the tent erecting and car loading were done by someone else

New experiences? There’s nothing david Bootle won’t try

22 / AUTUMN 2012

primary: school

All mixed up?

When my twin boys were babies, i could understand when friends and relatives mixed them up. although they’re non-identical they were incredibly alike, plus they barely stood still long enough for anyone to study them.

I even bit my tongue when a certain close relative referred to them as ‘this one’ and ‘that one’. Rude, yes, but not worth falling out over. Perhaps, confronted with twins I hadn’t given birth to, I’d have been similarly confused.

Actually, no, I didn’t treat other people’s twins in this way. My friend Liz’s boys were, to my untrained eyes, amazingly similar too. Within the first few minutes, I’d just have to remind myself, ‘Right, Joe’s the one in the green T-shirt’. That was all it took, and if I am capable of that (when I often lose my car in car parks) then surely anyone

F IoNA GIBSoN

column: teenagers

to one of them the other day, I can’t remember who.’ or a family member will enter a room where one of my sons is watching TV and instead of addressing him by name, they’ll say, ‘Hello boys’, like the old Wonderbra ad. As if his brother must be lurking nearby, invisible. I’d be no more confused if someone addressed me as, ‘Hello... women.’

Does this bother my sons? of course it does – hugely – although they’re pretty tolerant and tend to roll their eyes rather than make a big stink. I’m proud of them, actually, as it must be a massive pain in the rump. How would most children feel when given a shared birthday card or, at seven years old, handed pin badges with the wrong names?

of course, my sons’ close friends never mix them up; they’ve been able

to identify who’s who since they were all around three years old. This proves that it just takes a little effort right at the start. No one in their close circle refers to them as ‘the twins’, in fact, their twin-ness only occurs to me when I’m chatting to another parent with multiples, and might mention that I have twins too. Plus, my sons go to great lengths to do their own thing these days, still sharing friends, though not a bedroom, and keen to pursue their own interests. While they might crash out and watch a film together, they rarely socialise at school. Who can blame them? I know it would drive me crazy if people constantly confused me with another shortish, mousey-haired female with a prominent nose.

oh, I know I’m not perfect either. occasionally, I might call one of my boys by his brother’s name. I might also mix up their teachers, especially as I only encounter them once a year for ten minutes each. When that happens, one of my sons will correct me immediately with a stern, ‘Mrs Jackson doesn’t teach me, she teaches him.’

Whoops. Where Mum is concerned, it seems a twin is not quite so forgiving... Fiona Gibson wonders at the tendency to see

twins as a nameless unit, even as highly individual teenagers

How would most children feel when given a shared birthday card or, at seven years old, handed pin badges with the wrong names?

else is too? It takes just a smidgeon of effort.

Would anyone be so lazy as to treat adult twins in this way? Would anyone merge their names together to be babbled as one, as has happened to my boys on several occasions?

In fact, these days I can’t get to grips with this ‘who’s who?’ business at all. I mean... my boys are fifteen years old. That’s a decade and a half during which confused rellies have had hundreds of opportunities to figure it out. For instance, by taking a few seconds to realise that one of my boys looks like me, and his brother is a dead ringer for his father. Their haircuts are different, as are their voices and temperaments – one even wears glasses, for crying out loud! yet a neighbour will still say, ‘I spoke

So, you managed to get the children into a school you like, negotiated the uniform shopping list and worked out the best route. What next?

There’s a lot you can do to make the first days at school run more smoothly. your children will probably have visited for an induction session (or several) and the school is likely to have thought out ways of helping them settle in. Some schools encourage children to bring in a toy for the first day or two (not the one they will need at bedtime, just in case...). others set up ‘buddy’ systems, especially to help with playtimes.

With twins, triplets or more there are additional factors which come into play, from separation to identity, from school note-carrying to tale-bearing.

Separation: will the children be together or going into different classes? If this will be their first experience of being apart, spend some time beforehand building up the time apart from five or ten minutes to half an hour or even longer. Encourage them to take turns to tell their ‘news’ when they come back together. Borrowing something belonging to their multiple sibling – a headband, socks or even a button – can help them feel close and more secure. If they are in neighbouring classrooms, just seeing one another at different points in the day will reassure them that their brother/sister(s) are ok and that

everything is alright. Give them time to adjust to the new routines, but speak to the teacher if you are worried.

Lunch boxes can be a contact point with parents if a child is finding the long lunchtime difficult. Pop in a message – a smiley face or a picture of their best Ted saying ‘see you later’.

Name everything! Before you know it there will be a PE lesson and all those lovely clothes will be in a heap. Make sure you name shoes as well. And on the subject of changing for PE, have they practised dressing and undressing? It will make such a difference to each morning if they can do this without you.

If your children look very alike, a uniform will emphasise this. Consider different hairstyles or different socks, ribbons, hairclips, hair bands, shoes, or trousers/shorts/jumpers. The class teacher should soon tell them apart, but there are a lot of other staff with whom they will come into contact. Name badges can be useful in the early days but may single them out for unwanted attention. Can you make them look different in their PE kits? It could make all the difference to their safety – the teacher will call out the right name!

your daily routine will be important. Encourage your children to be independent (little rewards may help) and get all the bags packed and ready the night before to save time in the morning.

And you? once you have seen them into

www.tamba.org.uk 23

FIRST DAy NERVES

help and infoprIMAry sCHOOL

• download tamba’s ‘schools Admissions and Appeals’ pack from our website at

www.tamba.org.uk

• Visit the website for factsheets including: starting school – Advice for parents; starting school – discussion prompts; school policy for twins and

higher order Multiples; Maths at home; Meeting the educational Needs of

Multiple Birth children; and together or Apart – A checklist for parents

• For referrals to Anne thomas, tamba’s honorary consultant on primary

education, ring 01483 302483

• ring twinline, tamba’s freephone listening service, to talk to someone

about any concerns on 0800 138 0509, open 10am to 1pm and 7pm to

10pm daily

In Fiona’s latest novel, new mum Sadie goes on a hen weekend – which means

leaving her twin babies with their father for the first time. The Great Escape is out now,

published by Avon

school you may get a real sense of let-down and the tendency is to fret all day until you have them back again. Treat yourself to a coffee with friends and remember this is just one more day in the exciting rollercoaster of being a super-parent!

Starting school needn’t be traumatic. Here with some tips for a smooth transition is Anne thomas, Tamba’s honorary primary education consultant

24 / AUTUMN 2012 25www.tamba.org.uk

older multiples: independence

you have survived the endless nappies, feeding schedules and potty training, and find yourself with two, three or more teenagers to contend with. you have heard the rumours that the teenage years are the trickiest, so what now?

What happens in the teenage years will to some extent be determined by how you managed issues thus far. If you have raised your children to expect everything to be different and individualised then they will expect that now. If you have raised them to cooperate and negotiate with each other and the rest of the family, that state of affairs will most probably continue.

Parenting twins or more is no different in principle from parenting any child. The first question is what kind of children do you as a parent want to raise. The second is what are you doing right now to either enhance or inhibit that. The bit that is different with multiples is that they are all going through the same process at the same time. This can make it trickier at times and at others times easier. Activities you might be nervous about letting a lone teenager do, you may feel more comfortable letting two

or more do together. Multiples that have been brought up to know themselves as separate people will have less difficulty being grouped for safety or convenience. Multiples who have been grouped together throughout their lives may use the teenage years as an opportunity to break away.

In singleton literature, the teenage years are when children begin to renegotiate the boundaries of the

parental relationship from one based on dependency to one based on independence. With multiples this process is more complex as they also have to renegotiate the boundaries of their relationship with each other.

It is easy to become confused at this stage over what independence means. There are two types of independence: the first is physical independence – things like being able to go out by yourself and get places without help. The second is

BreAkiNG out?opportunities for twins or more to get together may be few enough, but there are almost no celebrations of opposite-sex twins. So it is news indeed that the first ever international gathering of adult opposite-sex twins will take place later this month, on 22 and 23 September in London.

one of the organisers is olivia Lousada, who together with her colleague Claire Salvy has been researching adult opposite-sex twins for several years. Both women are opposite-sex twins themselves, and their separate professional studies have come up with some surprising similarities.

As part of their research, olivia and Claire listened to opposite-sex twins speaking freely about their lives on the themes of separation, competition and jealousy, sexual identity, proximity and distance, depression and non-verbal communication. These themes are ordinary enough, but the opposite-sex twin context makes it more complex, because of early attachment. Beyond what siblings and same-sex twins may mean to their parents and each other, these twins may also represent the parental couple, the struggle between the sexes, and the marital relationship of closeness, tenderness and distance.

opposite-sex twins can be a source of envy and wonder. Being of different sexes has an effect on their relationship world; here are just a few of the things they told the researchers:

Separation: ‘Primary school was a catastrophe for each of us. The playgrounds of the two schools were

separated by a large wall and by a gateway. And my mother was frequently summoned … we were crying each on our own side due to our separation.’ (Salvy)

competition and jealousy: ‘My mother tells the story of my father wanting to give one of us something: “But no, give it to her”, then “But no, give it to him”... We tended to want to give too often to the other person.’ (Salvy)

‘(He) told me he hated me because I took all my mother’s attention away from him. And I said to him I didn’t want it, I felt awful and he couldn’t believe it.’ (Lousada)

Proximity and distance: ‘I want sometimes to give up everything and live with my twin brother, and this shocks me… I think that I would not be so ambivalent concerning my

Together again

older multiples: relationships

marriage if I was not so drawn towards my brother… if we had been more accessible to each other, it would not be so problematic now.’(Salvy)

‘you have got two choices. Either being wide apart or very close, and what you really need is to be sufficiently differentiated to be able to relate successfully at the appropriate distance.’ (Lousada)

Sexual identity: ‘If you are a twin you have already got your other half, it feels everyday, so the whole idea of romantic love doesn’t work for me! That... puts you in the sort of marginal position. Thinking of yourself as an “us” the whole time is not sustainable. [When a twin’s marriage breaks up] there is a kind of Darwinian issue; how are you going to survive?’ (Lousada)

‘Female opposite sex twins don’t see men as dominant other than maybe physically, or idealise them. They see the weaker side. We are always used to having a male there, absolutely contemporary.’ (Lousada).

Depression: ‘To say that (my twin) was fond of me is a misunderstanding of the way we relate. She is part of me so that if she disappears, I’ve lost part of me. I am seriously impaired by the threat of this loss…’ (Lousada)

Unspoken communication: ‘If we hadn’t been twins, we wouldn’t understand each other today...We understand each other in a unique way because we have lived through something that is quite ancient, that preserves the links between us despite our differences.’ (Salvy).

A gathering of adult opposite-sex twins is the first of its kind, and an opportunity to think about this unique relationship

emotional independence, which is being able to solve your own problems. This is the area that multiples might find harder as they have always had each other to work through any issues with.

In an ideal world, they will go through this stage together and work it out by discussion and negotiation. However, they are all too likely to be at slightly different stages. one might have a boyfriend or girlfriend before the other, or get a

job before the other, or want to go to university whilst the other does not. The principles are the same as when children of different ages chose different paths, but for multiples it is more intense as it occurs within an expectation that they will both be doing similar things. Again, the ground work occurs in the early years, and how you as parents support them in negotiating their relationship with each other. Being a multiple is what they are, not who they are.

Researcher Olivia Lousada with her twin, Julian

Parenting twins or more is no differentin principle from parenting any child

The international gathering is open to any

opposite-sex twin over the age of 18, with or without their twin, at

the Lancaster Hall Hotel, London. The first day looks at what participants are curious about and explores themes in more detail. on Sunday, participants talk in all-male or all-female groups

before coming back together to exchange ideas. if you’d like to attend, please email theresa.

speller@btinternet.com.

twin mum and tamba honorary consultant shelagh wright on how to navigate your teenagers’ desire for more control and independence

Chloe and Ellie Webb-Ingall on their first day at pre-school with big sister Milly.

26 / AUTUMN 2012 www.tamba.org.uk 27

Multiple joys

submissions: please take pictures on a digital camera (not a phone) on a high resolution setting (300 dpi or thereabouts) and email them with ‘photo Gallery’ in the subject line and up to 20 words to multiplematters@hotmail.co.uk. deadline for the next magazine is 28 september. tamba has a policy of building individuality which is used to prioritise photos submitted. Learn more at www.tamba.org.uk/individuality

kimi and Simi, born on 1 June to proud parents Harneet and Ranjit Bhambra.

Rose and William, born at Treliske Hospital, Cornwall on

21 February after travelling from Cambridgeshire so they

can be Cornish like big sister Coral!

Our gorgeous boys Reuben

Stanley and Finn Jacob

Wilson, born 5 February to

proud parents Jay and Tim.

James and Oliver Cary, born 7

May at 35 weeks. Mum and dad

are thrilled you’re here.

From first birthdays to first communions (and even first howls), our photo gallery gives families a chance to celebrate the milestones of life with all their youngsters

Cameron and Rosalyn Chambers celebrate their First Holy Communion in June.

Henry Graham and Charles

Rupert, born 23 January

at 37 weeks to Jonathan

and Rebecca.

My beautiful twins Eoin and Sadie were born 29 May. Here they are with big brother Niall.

kirsty Rose and Liam John,

born 27 March at 34 weeks

to overjoyed parents

Emma and Andy.

Since the arrival of Harrison Finley and Sophia Grace on 21 May, parents Gary and Rachel have not stopped smiling.

Jack and Ryan, born 24 October to proud parents Richard and Sarah and excited big sister Ella.

Isabella and Joseph, born 22

February at 37 weeks to proud

parents davina and Shammi.

Oliver and Thomas Blake have a ramble on the farm.

Identical girls daisy and Poppy dean born 8 July to Anna and James. Just in time to

enjoy the Olympics!

photo gallery: celebrations

Hannah Margaret and Isobel Charlotte dixon were welcomed into the world on 5 March. Mummy and daddy are very, very proud.

Max and Arthur Robinson, born 3

January at 29 weeks to Paul and

kerry Robinson – our amazing

twins! Special thanks to all staff

at the Royal Gwent Hospital.

Oscar and Alfie Spencer-Scragg introducing themselves to the world and to proud parents Ally and Mark on 29 March.

Grace and Mia Nelson,

born 19 October, with their

brilliant big sister Summer!

Hope and Faith Mathers,

born 21 January at 36 weeks.

Many thanks to everyone at

Peterborough City hospital,

especially transitional care team.

Isabelle and Jasmine opening

presents on their first birthday,

24 March.

Gabrielle Rose and Francesca

Anna arrived 7 May to proud

parents Jo and Pete and big

brothers Niall and Nathaniel.

28 / AUTUMN 2012 29www.tamba.org.uk

focus: disability

multiple views: readers write

Lettersour piece on postnatal care touched a nerve with many parents. Meanwhile, should parents of twins expect multiples second time around?

douBLe twiNs? What are the odds on having another set of twins? We have two-year-old boy-girl twins and are considering having more kiddies. However, depending on the chance of having twins again we might push back the timing – couldn’t afford childcare costs for four!Sarah Howard Millington

Tamba replies: Identical twins are a random event, whereas non-identical twins do seem to be genetically inheritable. So the odds of having non-identical twins if you already have a set of non-identical twins is around 1 in 16, and this increases with maternal age (35 or over). The chances of having another set of identical twins remains the same as having the first – around 1 in 330.

postNAtAL cAre: tiMe For chANGeRe ‘On the Ward Path’ in the last edition of Multiple Matters, I am glad it is not just me who felt let down by the delivery and postnatal wards, although

I’m sorry other families have had the same negative experience at such a precious time.

After my identical twin boys were born at Royal Cornwall Hospital, Truro, they were rushed to the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit (NICU). I was not able to follow due to catheter and IV lines needing to remain in place, and was left to rest and sleep. Two hours later, a midwife woke me up and told me I had to move rooms as I was taking up a large delivery room that was needed for another lady. I was a little dazed, but pointed out that I had had twins and there had been 15 other people in the room with me and my husband, hence we had needed the bigger room. That was met with, ‘Well where are your babies then?’. When I said, holding back tears, that they were in NICU and I hadn’t even seen them yet, she said, ‘So you don’t need the room now and can move’, and began loading my things onto the bed.

On the postnatal ward, I was wheeled into a room with two cots,

even though the boys were still in NICU. The cots were soon wheeled out at my request.

I was on that ward for five days after the birth. At one point I was woken in the middle of the night and asked if I wanted a sleeping tablet! I was also berated by a midwife for not being on the ward during ward rounds to see the doctor, even though I told them I would be across the hall in NICU with my babies. I felt like I was being told off for wanting to spend time with them.

I do think there should be more awareness about mothers (and fathers) whose babies are unable to be with them on the ward, whether multiples or singletons.

By contrast, the NICU staff were fantastic, not just in the care they gave the boys but in how they spoke to and treated me and my husband. I really treasured my late night visits to Thomas and Benjamin in the first few days after birth. One nurse, dee, took the time to help me get the boys out of their incubators for first cuddles. She took photos and spent time with me trying to establish and encourage breastfeeding and generally made me feel a connection to my boys. I found the quiet of the evenings on NICU in their first few days magical, just me and my boys.

Any improvement to raise awareness on postnatal wards would be fantastic for future multiple parents.

Dawn Morse

EDiToR’S noTEwe are keen to hear from any of our

readers with news, views or a story to tell. if there’s something you want to

shout about then write a letter for our Letters page or email the editor, rachael claye, at multiplematters@hotmail.co.uk

this month’s cover stars are Fredrick (left) and christiaan (right)Vollmuller

BiN the teLLY I was very interested to read about your Movement for Multiples programme in the last edition of Multiple Matters - a great read, as always. Maybe it is true that multiples spend more time in high chairs and pushchairs than singleton babies. If so, I have an even better suggestion: ditch the TV. We got rid of ours a year ago because we were sick of nagging for CBeebies, and we haven’t looked back. Three hours of exercise a day? Our two start playing when they wake up in the morning and don’t stop till bedtime. It is great for their imaginations, and as for us, we love the newfound peace - no endless chunter of telly in the background, and no nagging.Gillian Griffiths

When our beautiful twins amoi and amare were born, we had all that we expected of twins’ dirty bottles, lots of nappies and sleepless nights, but something had happened that we didn’t understand.

It was like chopping wet wood to light a blazing fire. We had our twins and they were beautiful. But it was painful as milestone after milestone passed and nothing seemed to be happening for Amoi has it was for Amare. It was hard socialising too; they were not identical, but people still expected them to act the same.

Amoi is now registered blind and is quadriplegia cerebral palsy. With the help of the local authority we were able to place both boys in fulltime nursery, Amoi with a one-to-one support worker. That was the easy stage. Worse was when they had to go to separate schools – it was more difficult for Amare than for Amoi. They still sleep together, though, so we are reminded every night that they are twins and share a unique bond that transcends any form of disability.

Caring for twins is expensive; caring for twins where one has severe needs is a new law in equations! To help us financially we used charities such as the Family Fund, which helps families raising disabled and seriously ill children. They funded specialist toys, equipment and household appliances. Cerebra, a charity for children with neurological problems, provided a custom-built trike so Amoi could experience being outside and not in his chair. From the local authority we were able to access direct payments and employ a personal assistant to help at home and assist Amoi with activities such as swimming. This allowed us quality time with each child and support for activities together.

Now almost six years old, Amoi enjoys yoga for the Special Child classes and Amare is doing rock climbing. We encourage

them to do activities together too, whether playing a board game, dancing, singing to music or having days out.

Emotionally, it has been a rollercoaster. The unpleasant experiences include being asked ‘Didn’t you know...?’ as if that would have made a difference, and being ostracised, even within the twin world. But the toughest aspect is meeting the needs of both children – an extraordinary and ongoing challenge.

Amare has found his brother’s needs difficult to cope with and we have had to explain why Amoi cannot run or talk but is not a baby. Amoi has also developed increased frustration and anxiety. We find ways to motivate him and encourage his ability to communicate and self-regulate. Ironically, we are grateful they are twins – they learn so much from each other, and we learn so much from them. They still do ‘twin talk’ and are heard laughing and chatting even in their sleep.

As for me, in the past few years I have become a more open, positive person, willing to appreciate the smaller things in life. I suppose I belong to two clubs, as twin mum and special needs mum, so I reap all the benefits. Extra special mums like me do exist, and our experiences need to be heard and included in both groups to promote understanding, awareness and support. The Hawaians have a word for the way families must remember every member to ensure no one is left behind, so I say it here, ohana.

help and infospECIAL NEEds

• tamba has a support group for families bringing up multiples with special needs. please ring us on 01483 304442 to get in

touch with the group’s coordinator, karoline Jordan, or you can join our special needs group via tamba’s facebook page

• Make contact with other parents coping with disability through our online members-only messageboard at

www.tamba.org.uk

• ring twinline, tamba’s freephone listening service, to talk to someone about any concerns on 0800 138 0509, open 10am to

1pm and 7pm to 10pm daily

ExTRA SPECIALAs a parent of twins, one with special needs, Neresia osbourne has a foot in both camps

Playing together is especially important now that Amoi and

Amare attend separate schools

The Family Fund has helped Amoi access specialist toys and equipment

feature: xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

30

My day todaynoticeboard: ads and more

The banter of the disc jockey slices through the silent air as we stir from our sleep. i glance at the radio alarm: 5.40am. The man is talking in german. This is Berlin, and it is time to get up.

Two sleepy boys are hauled from their beds, clothes thrown on and set down in front of a breakfast which has been prepared the night before. Exactly one hour later we head out, Edmund and Philip each carrying a rucksack of books and snacks. The journey to school takes one hour as we cross the city on two trains and a tram, with a walk at either end. We caught an earlier train this morning so we opted for a different route to school, taking three trains. My adventure-seeking twin loved it, but I had to reassure his brother that I would take responsibility if we arrived late.

For many years my husband Geoff and I have split our lives between the UK and Berlin. Geoff writes books on German history and needs access to the libraries in Berlin, so we decided when the twins were just four months old that we would temporarily relocate to Berlin. When the boys turned two, we returned to the UK but still spent several months a year in Berlin. The boys went to Kindergarten

just across the road, and once they reached school age (six in Berlin) they went to a German school for part of the summer term. It is German-speaking and so the boys are immersed in German throughout the day. It is quite different to their school in Swansea but they seem to have no difficulties adapting.

Before the twins arrived I studied modern languages, trained as a chartered accountant and worked as a fraud investigator. our current lifestyle, split between two countries, is too disruptive for regular work so I opted for writing. When I was pregnant, I found there were almost no books about life with twins and multiples – just medical or parenting guides. And so I decided to write one: ‘Mine’s a Double – The Twins Book’. The Berlin link has been a great boost to my research: I interviewed many families about their experiences of having twins and also adults looking back on their lives as a twin. I spoke to a family with identical triplets; identical

twin women whose lives were disrupted forever after they were split up by the Berlin Wall; and a family with three-year-old and one-year-old children who were expecting quads.

one happy experience was taking Edmund and Philip to the annual Berlin Twins Club trip to the zoo. over one hundred pairs of twins were there, toddlers, teenagers, grown-ups and grannies, most of them identical and many identically dressed for the occasion. No one was looking at the animals that day!

School finishes at around 2pm. Today is Friday so the boys will be going swimming later. They are now accomplished swimmers who look forward to the last bit of the lesson when they can jump from the top diving board (I had to close my eyes the first time, but they seemed not to feel the fear!). And after a round of pizza, the boys will flop into their beds, chatting as they drift off, ready to wake up for another day of fun.

‘Mine’s a Double – The Twins Book’ is only available from thetwinsbook@aol.co.uk , and costs £10 to a UK address including postage and packing. Visit www.thetwinsbook.co.uk

sue Mortimer lives a life split between two countries, Germany and the UK, and so do her eight-year-old sons

nEW TaMBa DiScoUnTERS

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kiDS aWay LTD (www.kids-away.com) offers Tamba members a 5 percent discount on everything you need for travel with babies and kids. Delivered either to your home or holiday destination. Log in to www.tamba.org.uk/outandabout to get your discount code.

You can use more than one hundred discounts that have been set up specially for our members by Tamba. Just visit the website at www.tamba.org.uk/discounts for details of discounts on holidays, clothing, equipment and more, and for the codes to claim your money off. Any organisation wishing to offer a discount to our members should contact enquiries@tamba.org.uk. Meanwhile, here are the latest new deals for our members:

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Apprehensive about taking your twins abroad?Why not rent our modern 3 bedroom, 2 bathroom house in Spain? 30 minutes from Alicante or Murcia airport, 10 minutes drive from the beach. On the edge of a traditional Spanish village. Fully equipped for twins. Swimming pool. Roof terrace.

focus: living abroad

TaMBa REcRUiTing BREaSTFEEDing PEER SUPPoRTERS

TAMBA ANd NCT HAVE JOINEd FORCES ANd ARE RECRUITING 12 MOTHERS OF MULTIPLES TO BECOME

TRAINEd BREASTFEEdING PEER SUPPORTERS.

The role of the Breastfeeding Peer Supporter is highly rewarding, you’ll get to support mums (and families) who are going through what you may have experienced as a mother of multiples. So many mums stop breastfeeding

because of a lack of informed support and that is where this important role comes in. Your commitment to supporting others could provide a life long,

indeed multi-generational, impact to fellow mums of multiples.

The support will be via e-mail, telephone or by face-to-face contact at local Twins Clubs or local NCT groups. As trained Breastfeeding Peer

supporters, you may also be invited to attend local Tamba Seminars to talk to expectant parents of multiples about how you can support them with

breastfeeding after they have had their babies.

For this first project, we are aiming to recruit mums from the south, east and Greater London regions.

The training will take place in Central London (near Holborn Tube) on the following dates:

20/21st October and the 24th/25th November – times to be confirmed.

All travel expenses will be met.

Unfortunately there is not the funding available to provide a crèche.

In order to be a part of this exciting project, you need:

• To have breastfed your own multiples for a minimum of three months

• To be willing and committed to supporting other mums in your community

You’ll also have the opportunity to gain a qualification through the Open College Network for your CV, all at no cost to you.

Email peersupport@nct.org.uk with TAMBA in the subject line,

to express your interest and for more information.

closing date for final application is Friday 14th september.

Tamba’s individuality policy encourages the development of multiples’ individual identities, for example by dressing them differently. whenever possible we use photographs that promote this policy.